Curacies and How to Survive Them

by Matthew Caminer

It is common knowledge that many curacies run into difficulties and that this is something people often feel constrained from discussing openly. Curacies and How to Survive Them offers readers the opportunity to listen in on a series of fast-flowing conversations between a psychologist, a theologian and a clergy spouse, which explore frequently occurring dilemmas and challenges. Using fictionalised case studies, collated from the true stories of curates and training incumbents, the book offers principles and strategies for understanding and addressing some common issues. Its emphasis is on the dynamics and psychology of the critical relationship between curates and their training incumbents. Attractively styled in a way reminiscent of the highly successful collaborations between John Cleese and Robin Skynner, Families and How to Survive Them and Life and How to Survive It. The conversational tone offers an engaging alternative to academic, theological and ecclesiastical writing.

158 pages, Paperback

First published April 16, 2015

Reviews

[Graham · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ministers these days come in all shapes and sizes, and are not necessarily the bright eyed twenty something they may have been in the past. This means that there is no longer a homogeneity of experience (perhaps was there ever?) and therefore a book which removes the lid on how curacies are, and makes clear the resources available to support is worth while. The case studies, admittedly edited / merged to preserve anonymity, ring true - there were a couple when I thought 'yes, that's exactly what happened to......' A previous reviewer has made mention of the professions of the authors. Having met the people involved though I can say that Matthew's position as a clergy spouse puts him in a good position to know what happens during curacy. Martyn was very helpful to my wife and others who passed through his care as Principle of Cuddesdon, helping to sort out quite a few tricky issues both before and during active ministries. And Beau, when I attended his session speaking to clergy spouses, came across as a wise man.
The format of the book, case study followed by conversation, prevents what might have otherwise been a cold clinical review of the issues. Instead you have three humans discussing what happens to other humans when they take on their new role as curate. I disagree with a previous reviewer that a focus on shouty conflict is within the book. A conflict does not need to be loud; as a curate develops there will inevitably be points of friction but there are examples in the book showing how these can be managed positively and without emotional injury. A number of 'what to do' and 'what not to do' bits of advice from the various viewpoints are given, and there are several points of contact and books for further reading offered. Such validating of behaviours that cause growth in all parties (not just the curate!) cannot be anything other then good. As a teacher who has trained several colleagues I know this to be true. Problems arise only when irrational inflexibility is involved...
This is a useful book and needs to be read not just by curates (and curate spouses, like me!) but by training incumbents and dioceses to ensure that channels of communication are kept open, support is ready to put in place if there are problems, and expectations are realistic and manageable.