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The Dog's Last Walk ... and Other Pieces
'The author's prose is always a delight ... a book that manages the high-wire act of being genuinely funny while dispensing genuine wisdom' Times Literary Supplement
Week after week, for eighteen years, the Booker Prize-winning novelist Howard Jacobson wrote a weekly column for the Independent, reflecting in inimitable style on the sacred and the profane in turn, the frivolous and the serious, the deeply personal and the most universal.
The shame and humiliation inherent in death is explored with frank astuteness. Matisse, darts and the power of love are celebrated; while cyclists are very much censured. And meanwhile, a beloved old Labrador walks his last walk as life elsewhere hurtles on and away...
The Dog's Last Walk is a collection of wisdom and iconoclasm for our uncertain times, and one that reveals one of our greatest writers in all his humanity.
Contents:
Introduction
The dog's last walk
So long as there are women laughing, civilisation's safe
Experience is lovelier than innocence
How to live forever
God is me
Sweet boy, that Jihadi John!
All sportsmen die in hotels
Did you see what my arm just did?
Darts: the last refuge of the serious
The erotic gravitas of George Galloway
Toast
In God's name, why?
Fisherman's friend
Ignorance is Bravo Lima India Sierra Sierra
In the country of the deaf the man with subtitles is king
Phoney racists
'Get out of my face!'
Raising the age of consent
Arrivederci Raffaele
Rejoice!
Fanatics only ever read one book
Boris and the bikes
Strictly turn-off
Who dunnit? The one who dunnit last time
Smiley face
There was a rabbi of Kiev
A pocket manual of blame
Death is Venice
How not to be a knob
The glorious madness of Wisden
You're going the wrong way, mate
Let's introduce ourselves: what's your username?
How very dare you
You can't enjoy Proust or aloo gobi standing up
Nice porn
The shame that outlives us
Calm down, dear
The New Barbarism
Shoot the highwayman
But what if I don't want to connect to you?
Nostril hair and the university
How to be hip
Peace
The sweet seductiveness of loss
Nellie, I am Catherine Earnshaw
The phoenix and the turtle
The wages of indulgence is darts
What's Hecuba to you?
In Leonard Cohen's fedora you too can look like L.S. Lowry
The unhappy wanderer
At least the old aren't young
There's always another Dark Lady
Bastard
Scrooge
Is that all there is?
Flyting, sledging, and where to stick your asterisks
Wasp watching
Steady on, Lawrence
Conformity kills
Happy now?
A self-effacing man
When enough's enough
The world turned upside down
Down and out in Covent Garden
The star is fallen
Advice to a young artist: Don't be yourself
Cropper
Tenho saudades tuas
Preacher man
American buffalo
Norovirus
Nani in space
The Queen versus Edward Snowden
Into the digital darkness
Nights in white satin; nuns in red nighties
Killing is a serious business
In praise of insincerity
The ghost speech
Yes but no but
And no I said no I won't No: Molly Bloom decides against casting a vote in the 2015 elections
Culpability Brown
Don't ask me
Dumb also degrades
The dying bug
Weeping in the new year
Is that a bomb you're carrying or are you just pleased to see me?
Damnation for dummies
Remembering Odin Testostenhammur
Clowns
It isn't a day of rest we need, it's a day unlike the day before
These things of darkness
Offence is sacred
And it's goodnight from him
Week after week, for eighteen years, the Booker Prize-winning novelist Howard Jacobson wrote a weekly column for the Independent, reflecting in inimitable style on the sacred and the profane in turn, the frivolous and the serious, the deeply personal and the most universal.
The shame and humiliation inherent in death is explored with frank astuteness. Matisse, darts and the power of love are celebrated; while cyclists are very much censured. And meanwhile, a beloved old Labrador walks his last walk as life elsewhere hurtles on and away...
The Dog's Last Walk is a collection of wisdom and iconoclasm for our uncertain times, and one that reveals one of our greatest writers in all his humanity.
Contents:
Introduction
The dog's last walk
So long as there are women laughing, civilisation's safe
Experience is lovelier than innocence
How to live forever
God is me
Sweet boy, that Jihadi John!
All sportsmen die in hotels
Did you see what my arm just did?
Darts: the last refuge of the serious
The erotic gravitas of George Galloway
Toast
In God's name, why?
Fisherman's friend
Ignorance is Bravo Lima India Sierra Sierra
In the country of the deaf the man with subtitles is king
Phoney racists
'Get out of my face!'
Raising the age of consent
Arrivederci Raffaele
Rejoice!
Fanatics only ever read one book
Boris and the bikes
Strictly turn-off
Who dunnit? The one who dunnit last time
Smiley face
There was a rabbi of Kiev
A pocket manual of blame
Death is Venice
How not to be a knob
The glorious madness of Wisden
You're going the wrong way, mate
Let's introduce ourselves: what's your username?
How very dare you
You can't enjoy Proust or aloo gobi standing up
Nice porn
The shame that outlives us
Calm down, dear
The New Barbarism
Shoot the highwayman
But what if I don't want to connect to you?
Nostril hair and the university
How to be hip
Peace
The sweet seductiveness of loss
Nellie, I am Catherine Earnshaw
The phoenix and the turtle
The wages of indulgence is darts
What's Hecuba to you?
In Leonard Cohen's fedora you too can look like L.S. Lowry
The unhappy wanderer
At least the old aren't young
There's always another Dark Lady
Bastard
Scrooge
Is that all there is?
Flyting, sledging, and where to stick your asterisks
Wasp watching
Steady on, Lawrence
Conformity kills
Happy now?
A self-effacing man
When enough's enough
The world turned upside down
Down and out in Covent Garden
The star is fallen
Advice to a young artist: Don't be yourself
Cropper
Tenho saudades tuas
Preacher man
American buffalo
Norovirus
Nani in space
The Queen versus Edward Snowden
Into the digital darkness
Nights in white satin; nuns in red nighties
Killing is a serious business
In praise of insincerity
The ghost speech
Yes but no but
And no I said no I won't No: Molly Bloom decides against casting a vote in the 2015 elections
Culpability Brown
Don't ask me
Dumb also degrades
The dying bug
Weeping in the new year
Is that a bomb you're carrying or are you just pleased to see me?
Damnation for dummies
Remembering Odin Testostenhammur
Clowns
It isn't a day of rest we need, it's a day unlike the day before
These things of darkness
Offence is sacred
And it's goodnight from him
- GenresNonfictionShort Stories
11 pages, Audiobook
First published July 18, 2017
About the author
Howard Jacobson
83 books407 followersHoward Jacobson was born in Manchester, England, and educated at Cambridge. His many novels include The Mighty Walzer (winner of the Bollinger Everyman Wodehouse Prize), Who’s Sorry Now? and Kalooki Nights (both longlisted for the Man Booker Prize), and, most recently, The Act of Love. Jacobson is also a respected critic and broadcaster, and writes a weekly column for the Independent. He lives in London.
Profile of Howard Jacobson in The New York Times.
“The book's appeal to Jewish readers is obvious, but like all great Jewish art — the paintings of Marc Chagall, the books of Saul Bellow, the films of Woody Allen — it is Jacobson's use of the Jewish experience to explain the greater human one that sets it apart. Who among us is so certain of our identity? Who hasn't been asked, "What's your background" and hesitated, even for a split second, to answer their inquisitor? Howard Jacobson's The Finkler Question forces us to ask that of ourselves, and that's why it's a must read, no matter what your background.”—-David Sax, NPR.
Profile of Howard Jacobson in The New York Times.
“The book's appeal to Jewish readers is obvious, but like all great Jewish art — the paintings of Marc Chagall, the books of Saul Bellow, the films of Woody Allen — it is Jacobson's use of the Jewish experience to explain the greater human one that sets it apart. Who among us is so certain of our identity? Who hasn't been asked, "What's your background" and hesitated, even for a split second, to answer their inquisitor? Howard Jacobson's The Finkler Question forces us to ask that of ourselves, and that's why it's a must read, no matter what your background.”—-David Sax, NPR.
Ratings & Reviews
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Displaying 1 - 18 of 18 reviews
May 23, 2017
Late in this book, Jacobson writes: ‘Out there at this very moment, in lofts, basements, lean-tos and neglected gardens, a thousand otherwise genial-tempered hacks are rubbing the lamp of intemperate opinion to coax out a view ˗ immoderately enthusiastic or grossly derogatory, it hardly matters which, and the distinction probably won’t be noticed anyway ˗ on celebrity chefs, wayward footballers, twerking pop stars, tattooed nobodies and any one of a thousand comedians whose routine is indistinguishable from the others ˗ a judgement I no sooner make than I withdraw lest you think I have a view on the matter.”
Having been one of those ‘hacks’ ˗ a columnist for a local newspaper ˗ back in the 90s, I appreciate Jacobson’s feelings about what it is to write a column: sometimes a grind, sometimes inspired, sometimes finding an idea that takes you places you never meant to go.
In the last column published here he writes about seeing each piece as a little novel...’essays into rather than about, dramatic pieces in which I didn’t have to say what I believed, because I didn’t know, or didn’t want to know, or hoped that in the interactive play of images and ideas a way of looking at the world would emerge that wasn’t trite, that might surprise and energise, and would give pleasure.’
Certainly these columns give pleasure: they remain immensely readable, full of satire, wit, humour, deep seriousness (often disguised under one or more of the three previous categories), good sound commonsense, and a great deal of self-deprecation. Not that this is really Howard Jacobson we’re reading about, anyway; he tells us that no columnist actually presents himself as he actually is. Something else I can affirm.
He covers a wide range of topics, but other people’s anti-Zionist ideologies, the bad behaviour of cyclists, Australia, and not believing/believing in God appear most often. I’ve never read a book of columns where I just went straight from one to another without any sense of obligation. Jacobson’s writing is endearing and vital, sometimes spitting tacks, sometimes sentimental.
These columns are so entertaining and (frequently) wise, that they bear repeated readings. That’s quite outstanding for writings that first appeared in a newspaper.
Having been one of those ‘hacks’ ˗ a columnist for a local newspaper ˗ back in the 90s, I appreciate Jacobson’s feelings about what it is to write a column: sometimes a grind, sometimes inspired, sometimes finding an idea that takes you places you never meant to go.
In the last column published here he writes about seeing each piece as a little novel...’essays into rather than about, dramatic pieces in which I didn’t have to say what I believed, because I didn’t know, or didn’t want to know, or hoped that in the interactive play of images and ideas a way of looking at the world would emerge that wasn’t trite, that might surprise and energise, and would give pleasure.’
Certainly these columns give pleasure: they remain immensely readable, full of satire, wit, humour, deep seriousness (often disguised under one or more of the three previous categories), good sound commonsense, and a great deal of self-deprecation. Not that this is really Howard Jacobson we’re reading about, anyway; he tells us that no columnist actually presents himself as he actually is. Something else I can affirm.
He covers a wide range of topics, but other people’s anti-Zionist ideologies, the bad behaviour of cyclists, Australia, and not believing/believing in God appear most often. I’ve never read a book of columns where I just went straight from one to another without any sense of obligation. Jacobson’s writing is endearing and vital, sometimes spitting tacks, sometimes sentimental.
These columns are so entertaining and (frequently) wise, that they bear repeated readings. That’s quite outstanding for writings that first appeared in a newspaper.
December 22, 2017
I listened to the audiobook version of this story and the narration was really good.
Loved the book but found I could only listen in short segments or my attention wandered.
All in all not a bad book and even though It took me some time to finish the book I did enjoy the story in the end.
Loved the book but found I could only listen in short segments or my attention wandered.
All in all not a bad book and even though It took me some time to finish the book I did enjoy the story in the end.
July 2, 2023
There's a problem with publishing a collection of pieces produced to the weekly demands of a newspaper deadline.
Such copy, even shaped by the razor sharp wit and critical analysis of Howard Jacobson, has the tendency to default to a predictable pattern. That's not to say any one piece isn't worth spending the obligatory five minutes with , it's just a law of diminishing returns . Like watching endless replays of Kevin de Bruyne sliding assists to any number of grateful goal scorers (Messers Sane, Sterling and Harland I'm looking at you) Tends to deaden the impact of genius.
That said you could do worse than spend a few moments a morning savouring the sharp insights that Jacobsen brings to the preoccupations of the day. He is incredibly funny. Certainly better for the soul than mindless chanting or walking in diminishing circles along a labyrinth. And a much better companion to share private time in the bathroom with than, say , My Big Books of Bucket Lists , 1000 Ways to Cook Broccoli or The Tao of Pooh. He skewers politicians and their absurd posturing with elan, reflects on the ridiculous of day to day life with equal sardonic pleasure and does both in opinion pieces designed to sparkle between the crossword ( get it?) and the leader column. Brilliant.
Such copy, even shaped by the razor sharp wit and critical analysis of Howard Jacobson, has the tendency to default to a predictable pattern. That's not to say any one piece isn't worth spending the obligatory five minutes with , it's just a law of diminishing returns . Like watching endless replays of Kevin de Bruyne sliding assists to any number of grateful goal scorers (Messers Sane, Sterling and Harland I'm looking at you) Tends to deaden the impact of genius.
That said you could do worse than spend a few moments a morning savouring the sharp insights that Jacobsen brings to the preoccupations of the day. He is incredibly funny. Certainly better for the soul than mindless chanting or walking in diminishing circles along a labyrinth. And a much better companion to share private time in the bathroom with than, say , My Big Books of Bucket Lists , 1000 Ways to Cook Broccoli or The Tao of Pooh. He skewers politicians and their absurd posturing with elan, reflects on the ridiculous of day to day life with equal sardonic pleasure and does both in opinion pieces designed to sparkle between the crossword ( get it?) and the leader column. Brilliant.
September 2, 2017
A great read. Wonderful writing!
April 19, 2018
I've read none of Jacobson's novels and have absolutely no desire to given the highbrow literature label that they seem to have. But this collection of his columns for The Independent newspaper are short doses that absolutely hit the mark. I find very, very few books these days that it's even worth noting a sentence or an observation from, but with Jacobson there's something that makes you pause for thought on every other page. And he's funny with it, even if you feel that some of the jokes are a bit above your head. Well, he can be an unashamed intellectual and I can be an unashamed thicko but it doesn't mean that what he's going on about won't strike a chord or make me laugh out loud. I read a previous collection of earlier columns which I remember with affection, and this book has inspired me to go back and read them again. In fact, if The Independent newspaper hadn't folded I might have subscribed just to get his contribution on a regular basis. It's that good.
October 15, 2018
3.5 stars. An easy to read, witty book of over ninety, three page column articles written by Jacobson during the period 2010 to 2016 for the Independent newspaper. If you enjoy Jacobson's writing style, his wit and would like to know more about him, you should enjoy this book. Amongst other things I found out that Jacobson likes D.H. Lawrence and Shakespeare, is not happy with bike riders, believes in freedom of speech.
Here are some quotes I liked:
"A generation has grown up that - online, at least - is deaf to tone, impervious to irony, incapable of grasping that thought can be tentative and argument exploratory."
"There are no bad men in the world when we flutter in each other's embrace. And that is why love matters: it's our last illusion."
"Reading is a two-way activity: some books fail us, but it happens just as frequently that we fail them. There's silly, sloppy writing out there, but there's silly, sloppy reading too."
Here are some quotes I liked:
"A generation has grown up that - online, at least - is deaf to tone, impervious to irony, incapable of grasping that thought can be tentative and argument exploratory."
"There are no bad men in the world when we flutter in each other's embrace. And that is why love matters: it's our last illusion."
"Reading is a two-way activity: some books fail us, but it happens just as frequently that we fail them. There's silly, sloppy writing out there, but there's silly, sloppy reading too."
April 4, 2025
I need to begin this review by acknowledging that I have never read any work by Howard Jacobson before and am not familiar with "The Independent" from which these op-ed (?) columns were drawn. Rther, I mistook this for a collection of short stories when the arresting cover and title took my fancy.
My error has been fortuitous because I have thoroughly enjoyed the precision with which Jacobson has expressed his thoughts and opinions, so can understand why he was a columnist for almost twenty years. For others like me, unfamiliar with the newspaper, there are some now dated pieces and a few whose subject I was unfamiliar with; however, overwhelmingly the columns are erudite, interesting or just entertaining (I might have to check out championship darts sometime!).
My error has been fortuitous because I have thoroughly enjoyed the precision with which Jacobson has expressed his thoughts and opinions, so can understand why he was a columnist for almost twenty years. For others like me, unfamiliar with the newspaper, there are some now dated pieces and a few whose subject I was unfamiliar with; however, overwhelmingly the columns are erudite, interesting or just entertaining (I might have to check out championship darts sometime!).
April 12, 2022
To begin with I enjoyed this one, lots of short essays on different topics from an intelligent, cultured writer. But after a few I started to get a tone, a bit of snark and an old-guy habit of bemoaning people caring about anything, getting annoyed at people taking offence. I'm all for discursive argument but this kind of contraryism is just depressing and tiring. I def don't think I'd read any more.
April 30, 2018
Something a little different. Newspaper columns from the Independent. Everything from love to politics, Jacobson is pretty unforgiving with his opinion pieces. Have to admit, some chapters were inaccessible as many of the political/cultural references went straight over the head of this young Australian.Very thought-provoking though.
December 3, 2019
I am a fan of Howard Jacobson and to my mind, he has written some truly great books. Whilst this collection has some moments, I found the subjects disjointed and lacking in flow. This might sound obvious since this is a collection of articles published in a newspaper. It might also just be that Mr. Jacobson is a better author than he is journalist.
December 23, 2017
listened as audio book, read by the author. I liked the comments on society and his story telling of his experiences. I am just not as well read, and sadly lacking the knowledge of every word in the English language.
January 3, 2018
Pretty much a snooze, for me anyway.
March 16, 2019
Jacobson on darts, cyclists, writing, and being his entertaining self.
August 4, 2021
Truly spectacular book 😅 Exactly my type of humor & the author really put some thought into a lot of the concepts and views expressed in this book 🤔
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February 13, 2024Иногда полезно послушать едкое брюзжание о жизни. За тем к Джэйкобсону и хожу.
September 7, 2021
My first experience of this work was listening to the words narrated by the author. His voice and inflections were the perfect interpretation of his words. My next experience of this work will be on the written pages, because there is such a diversity of topics and opinions and such richness of expression that I will want to underline and highlight my favorite phrases. Well done, Howard!
August 5, 2026
Jacobson is a talented writer and I enjoyed the articles in this book that I read.
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June 27, 2017Old white man whines.
Displaying 1 - 18 of 18 reviews