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Before I Forget: Love, Hope, Help, and Acceptance in Our Fight Against Alzheimer's
“A powerful portrait of Alzheimer’s…marked by strong emotions and often bleak honesty.”
— The Washington Post
“The vulnerability, courage, and honesty in Before I Forget are heart-opening. Fear can be paralyzing…yet B. and Dan beautifully demonstrate that there is a different way to approach this stealthy invader. Alzheimer’s needs to come out of the shadows, and this book is an important step.”
—Maria Shriver
Restaurateur, magazine publisher, celebrity chef, and nationally known lifestyle maven, B. Smith is struggling at 66 with a tag she never expected to add to that Alzheimer's patient. She’s not alone. Every 67 seconds someone newly develops it, and millions of lives are affected by its aftershocks.
B. and her husband, Dan, working with Vanity Fair contributing editor Michael Shnayerson, unstintingly share their unfolding story. Crafted in short chapters that interweave their narrative with practical and helpful advice, readers learn about dealing with Alzheimer's day-to-day the family realities and tensions, ways of coping, coming research that may tip the scale, as well as lessons learned along the way.
At its heart, Before I Forget is a love illuminating a love of family, life, and hope.
— The Washington Post
“The vulnerability, courage, and honesty in Before I Forget are heart-opening. Fear can be paralyzing…yet B. and Dan beautifully demonstrate that there is a different way to approach this stealthy invader. Alzheimer’s needs to come out of the shadows, and this book is an important step.”
—Maria Shriver
Restaurateur, magazine publisher, celebrity chef, and nationally known lifestyle maven, B. Smith is struggling at 66 with a tag she never expected to add to that Alzheimer's patient. She’s not alone. Every 67 seconds someone newly develops it, and millions of lives are affected by its aftershocks.
B. and her husband, Dan, working with Vanity Fair contributing editor Michael Shnayerson, unstintingly share their unfolding story. Crafted in short chapters that interweave their narrative with practical and helpful advice, readers learn about dealing with Alzheimer's day-to-day the family realities and tensions, ways of coping, coming research that may tip the scale, as well as lessons learned along the way.
At its heart, Before I Forget is a love illuminating a love of family, life, and hope.
336 pages, Hardcover
First published January 19, 2016
283 people are currently reading
1272 people want to read
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December 6, 2016
A special thank you to Crown Publishing and NetGalley for an ARC in exchange for an honest review.
BEFORE I FORGET a courageous, rare, and bold memoir—the painful truth, a personal journey and fight of early- onset Alzheimer’s; a supermodel, restaurateur, publisher, and celebrity chef, B. Smith.
Top Books of 2016!
With incredible insights, education, and impeccable research from husband Dan Gasby, and beautifully written by Vanity Fair contributing editor and master storyteller, Michael Shanayerson —keeping you glued to the pages, as if a work of fiction versus non-fiction, with wit, honesty, and sensitivity. A beautiful love story, which will melt your heart. Top Non-Fiction Books of 2016—A Must Read!
America’s super couple steps out boldly to use their status and connections as advocates to help fight this terrible disease, for more awareness, research, and education-- for a cure. Another critical reason for stepping out to take action, is finding and testing new drugs. They are expensive, like $1 billion for each new candidate. So it is important people take part in clinical trials.
Alzheimer’s is the most under recognized threat to public health in the twenty-first century. The two most forward thinking states with driving forces are NC and Minnesota (education and activism on Alzheimer’s). There is much to learn and need for education and continued research in this fight. The easiest way is The Brain Registry —you do not to have Alzheimer’s to sign up or participate in a brain study trial.
There have been many fiction books written today, tackling Alzheimer’s; however, this is the first book I have read which really hits home with a realistic everyday walk—from a caregiver’s point of view, a husband, a daughter and a patient, suffering from this frightening disease.
Nine months before the book, Barbara was diagnosed with early-onset Alzheimer’s. As Dan reiterates in the memoir, they appreciate works of fiction, like Still Alice, and other books, which create social awareness—helping educate communities about Alzheimer’s and hopefully lessening the stigma of the disease.
A disease that kills brain cells. The cells it kills first govern memory, (short-term), as the first indication. As it progresses, the long term memory diminishes, too. Eventually Alzheimer’s affect those parts of the brain that control actions and processes we take for granted from the five senses to physical coordination to swallowing to continence. It is unfortunately, both progressive, and so far, irreversible.
Some 5.2 million Americans are living with this disease each year, with a new case every sixty-seven seconds. What was the sixth leading cause of death in the US has now moved up to third, just behind heart disease and cancer.
One in nine Americans age sixty-five or older has it: 11% of the senior population; up to 33% for all Americans eighty-five and older. The scary number is 200,000 Americans under sixty-five have Alzheimer’s. Early-onset or familial Alzheimer’s, as opposed to late-onset, which is everyone sixty-five and older. When you think about 200,000 households where a family member under sixty-five wakes up in a fog every morning, and drifts through the day needing constant guidance from a loved one or hired caregiver.
Plus, out of this number, two-thirds are women. A woman of sixty-five has a 1-in-6 chance of getting Alzheimer’s at some point in her remaining years—versus a man’s 1-11 chance. The difference is in part because women tend to live longer, and the aging process seems to exacerbate the genetic and lifestyle factors associated with the disease. Alzheimer’s changes everything around you.
Where the book really delves into the statistics, is the alarming number of African Americans getting Alzheimer’s. They are twice as likely as Caucasians to get it. Ten percent over sixty-five have it. By the age of eight-five, half of all African Americans have it. Diabetes is also higher in the black community, and they tend to ignore the symptoms of Alzheimer’s longer than whites—as there is a stigma to Alzheimer’s greater than for most diseases.
B. Smith is a perfect role model and spokesperson, to speak out for the African American community; to recognize symptoms, and take action sooner. From anger, forgetfulness, memory lapses, thoughtless, emotional ups and downs, preoccupied, unresponsive, wandering, mood swings, and the seven stages (or the three-main stages).
Dan tells of his love story when the couple met, their twenty-one- year marriage, and how they have worked together to build their brand and their lives. Their restaurants, their business, their dreams, and their lives. Now struggling between proper care, fearful to allow her to be out of his sight, some scary hours when B goes missing, and her need for independence--fighting against an in home health caregiver. The patient is being robbed of their independence, making them feel even worse. (B walked the streets of Manhattan for seventeen hours in high heels, lost)—amazing.
We also hear from B. Smith - her feelings, emotions, fears, confusion, routines, loss of human dignity, mobility, simple pleasures, and her need to be alone. Putting pride and privacy aside, Dan’s challenge as her husband and caregiver is to immerse himself in the present with her. Not to expect her to remember, just be there with her. Join the journey. They are on a journey you cannot prevent or block.
The A’s of Alzheimer’s:
• Agitation: nervousness, restless
• Agnosia: Difficulty with processing sensory information; inability to recognize familiar objects, tastes, sounds, and other sensations
• Amnesia: Loss of memory
• Anomia: Inability to remember names
• Anxiety: excessive worry or concerns
• Apathy: Indifference; inability to feel optimistic and happy
• Aphasia: inability to express oneself through speech
• Apraxia: Loss of fine motor skills
By stepping out to tell their story, B and Dan have joined a campaign of doctors, scientists, and policy makers, among other who see 2020 as the target date for managing Alzheimer’s and are doing all they can to hit that target. Not for curing it, not for preventing it—not yet for either of those. Just for catching it earlier, and maybe—keeping it in check so that patients live longer and keep some semblance of the lives they had before this awful disease afflicted them.
We all know someone who suffers from Alzheimer’s. I have a favorite aunt; she cannot be away from her husband for a second. She does not recognize anyone else for him; not even her own children. Same as B. Smith in the story, she does not want an outside caregiver, thereby putting burdens upon the family. From driving, replaying questions, anger, guilt, resentment, self-pity, misplacing things, memory loss, late to appointments, horrors, sleepwalking, binge late night eating, denial, to hoarding.
The aging of the baby boomers means the numbers are going up. A patient spends millions of dollars a year on care giving alone, in addition to the emotional cost. Sadly Medicare does not pay for a PET scan.
To a patient with the long-term human tragedy of Alzheimer’s --five minutes can seem like an hour; an hour can seem like five minutes. One person has the disease, but everyone in the family is affected. No one’s life is ever the same. Not only thinking about managing them, but managing your own life in tandem with theirs; building in the time to be a daily caregiver, but also scheduling time off to replenish yourself and be able to help your loved on the next day.
Inspiring and enlightening, a compelling and powerful read. I love how the book was broken out, easy to read from diet, health, insurance, tests, spirituality, research, Medicare, alternative therapies, yoga, exercise, patience, and unconditional love.
Dan: “I’ve come to realize Alzheimer’s is like a tornado moving through a town. It destroys some buildings and leaves other untouched. You can thank God for the ones that were spared, or you can shake your fist at fate. As far as I’m concerned, it’s the luck of the neurological draw, brain cell by brain cell, plaque by plaque.”
With Alzheimer’s the past is the best place to dwell. You want to linger over everyone one of those sweet, long-ago scenes. They’re where happiness still resides. “There is still a living spirit inside the diminished person, the spirit of someone you love.”
You will laugh and cry!
The number of Americans with Alzheimer’s will grow from more than five million today and to as many as sixteen million by mid-century. Caring or people with Alzheimer’s will cost our country twenty trillion in today’s dollars over this same period.
Join their Journey for Hope, Help, and Acceptance in Our Fight Against Alzheimer's. They are thinking of all the others who come after B—the beautiful people with dwindling minds. Join to help push, pressure, and politicize until we get a breakthrough.
Thank you, for this incredible story! Alarming. Eye-opening.
People Exclusive 1/14/2016
JDCMustReadBooks
BEFORE I FORGET a courageous, rare, and bold memoir—the painful truth, a personal journey and fight of early- onset Alzheimer’s; a supermodel, restaurateur, publisher, and celebrity chef, B. Smith.
Top Books of 2016!
With incredible insights, education, and impeccable research from husband Dan Gasby, and beautifully written by Vanity Fair contributing editor and master storyteller, Michael Shanayerson —keeping you glued to the pages, as if a work of fiction versus non-fiction, with wit, honesty, and sensitivity. A beautiful love story, which will melt your heart. Top Non-Fiction Books of 2016—A Must Read!
America’s super couple steps out boldly to use their status and connections as advocates to help fight this terrible disease, for more awareness, research, and education-- for a cure. Another critical reason for stepping out to take action, is finding and testing new drugs. They are expensive, like $1 billion for each new candidate. So it is important people take part in clinical trials.
Alzheimer’s is the most under recognized threat to public health in the twenty-first century. The two most forward thinking states with driving forces are NC and Minnesota (education and activism on Alzheimer’s). There is much to learn and need for education and continued research in this fight. The easiest way is The Brain Registry —you do not to have Alzheimer’s to sign up or participate in a brain study trial.
There have been many fiction books written today, tackling Alzheimer’s; however, this is the first book I have read which really hits home with a realistic everyday walk—from a caregiver’s point of view, a husband, a daughter and a patient, suffering from this frightening disease.
Nine months before the book, Barbara was diagnosed with early-onset Alzheimer’s. As Dan reiterates in the memoir, they appreciate works of fiction, like Still Alice, and other books, which create social awareness—helping educate communities about Alzheimer’s and hopefully lessening the stigma of the disease.
A disease that kills brain cells. The cells it kills first govern memory, (short-term), as the first indication. As it progresses, the long term memory diminishes, too. Eventually Alzheimer’s affect those parts of the brain that control actions and processes we take for granted from the five senses to physical coordination to swallowing to continence. It is unfortunately, both progressive, and so far, irreversible.
Some 5.2 million Americans are living with this disease each year, with a new case every sixty-seven seconds. What was the sixth leading cause of death in the US has now moved up to third, just behind heart disease and cancer.
One in nine Americans age sixty-five or older has it: 11% of the senior population; up to 33% for all Americans eighty-five and older. The scary number is 200,000 Americans under sixty-five have Alzheimer’s. Early-onset or familial Alzheimer’s, as opposed to late-onset, which is everyone sixty-five and older. When you think about 200,000 households where a family member under sixty-five wakes up in a fog every morning, and drifts through the day needing constant guidance from a loved one or hired caregiver.
Plus, out of this number, two-thirds are women. A woman of sixty-five has a 1-in-6 chance of getting Alzheimer’s at some point in her remaining years—versus a man’s 1-11 chance. The difference is in part because women tend to live longer, and the aging process seems to exacerbate the genetic and lifestyle factors associated with the disease. Alzheimer’s changes everything around you.
Where the book really delves into the statistics, is the alarming number of African Americans getting Alzheimer’s. They are twice as likely as Caucasians to get it. Ten percent over sixty-five have it. By the age of eight-five, half of all African Americans have it. Diabetes is also higher in the black community, and they tend to ignore the symptoms of Alzheimer’s longer than whites—as there is a stigma to Alzheimer’s greater than for most diseases.
B. Smith is a perfect role model and spokesperson, to speak out for the African American community; to recognize symptoms, and take action sooner. From anger, forgetfulness, memory lapses, thoughtless, emotional ups and downs, preoccupied, unresponsive, wandering, mood swings, and the seven stages (or the three-main stages).
Dan tells of his love story when the couple met, their twenty-one- year marriage, and how they have worked together to build their brand and their lives. Their restaurants, their business, their dreams, and their lives. Now struggling between proper care, fearful to allow her to be out of his sight, some scary hours when B goes missing, and her need for independence--fighting against an in home health caregiver. The patient is being robbed of their independence, making them feel even worse. (B walked the streets of Manhattan for seventeen hours in high heels, lost)—amazing.
We also hear from B. Smith - her feelings, emotions, fears, confusion, routines, loss of human dignity, mobility, simple pleasures, and her need to be alone. Putting pride and privacy aside, Dan’s challenge as her husband and caregiver is to immerse himself in the present with her. Not to expect her to remember, just be there with her. Join the journey. They are on a journey you cannot prevent or block.
The A’s of Alzheimer’s:
• Agitation: nervousness, restless
• Agnosia: Difficulty with processing sensory information; inability to recognize familiar objects, tastes, sounds, and other sensations
• Amnesia: Loss of memory
• Anomia: Inability to remember names
• Anxiety: excessive worry or concerns
• Apathy: Indifference; inability to feel optimistic and happy
• Aphasia: inability to express oneself through speech
• Apraxia: Loss of fine motor skills
By stepping out to tell their story, B and Dan have joined a campaign of doctors, scientists, and policy makers, among other who see 2020 as the target date for managing Alzheimer’s and are doing all they can to hit that target. Not for curing it, not for preventing it—not yet for either of those. Just for catching it earlier, and maybe—keeping it in check so that patients live longer and keep some semblance of the lives they had before this awful disease afflicted them.
We all know someone who suffers from Alzheimer’s. I have a favorite aunt; she cannot be away from her husband for a second. She does not recognize anyone else for him; not even her own children. Same as B. Smith in the story, she does not want an outside caregiver, thereby putting burdens upon the family. From driving, replaying questions, anger, guilt, resentment, self-pity, misplacing things, memory loss, late to appointments, horrors, sleepwalking, binge late night eating, denial, to hoarding.
The aging of the baby boomers means the numbers are going up. A patient spends millions of dollars a year on care giving alone, in addition to the emotional cost. Sadly Medicare does not pay for a PET scan.
“Time is elastic for B—that’s the word I use. A moment stretches to infinity; a day shrinks to no time at all. In public, she is as poised as ever. Alzheimer’s is perfect for celebrities. They greet people without being expected to know who those people are. The painful truth is that the woman who’s greeting them so warmly has no idea what day of the week it is, or year.”
To a patient with the long-term human tragedy of Alzheimer’s --five minutes can seem like an hour; an hour can seem like five minutes. One person has the disease, but everyone in the family is affected. No one’s life is ever the same. Not only thinking about managing them, but managing your own life in tandem with theirs; building in the time to be a daily caregiver, but also scheduling time off to replenish yourself and be able to help your loved on the next day.
Inspiring and enlightening, a compelling and powerful read. I love how the book was broken out, easy to read from diet, health, insurance, tests, spirituality, research, Medicare, alternative therapies, yoga, exercise, patience, and unconditional love.
Dan: “I’ve come to realize Alzheimer’s is like a tornado moving through a town. It destroys some buildings and leaves other untouched. You can thank God for the ones that were spared, or you can shake your fist at fate. As far as I’m concerned, it’s the luck of the neurological draw, brain cell by brain cell, plaque by plaque.”
With Alzheimer’s the past is the best place to dwell. You want to linger over everyone one of those sweet, long-ago scenes. They’re where happiness still resides. “There is still a living spirit inside the diminished person, the spirit of someone you love.”
You will laugh and cry!
The number of Americans with Alzheimer’s will grow from more than five million today and to as many as sixteen million by mid-century. Caring or people with Alzheimer’s will cost our country twenty trillion in today’s dollars over this same period.
Join their Journey for Hope, Help, and Acceptance in Our Fight Against Alzheimer's. They are thinking of all the others who come after B—the beautiful people with dwindling minds. Join to help push, pressure, and politicize until we get a breakthrough.
Thank you, for this incredible story! Alarming. Eye-opening.
People Exclusive 1/14/2016
JDCMustReadBooks
December 1, 2022
Poignant, memorable, and powerful memoir by acclaimed chef, restaurateur, and magazine publisher B. Smith and her fight with Alzheimer's.
March 9, 2019
I listened to this audiobook to better understand Alzheimer's from a more personal perspective.
After a few chapters, I searched who B. Smith was and why she was famous. Before I could find out she was a model, restaurant owner, author, media personality, etc. I found endless links to a controversy with her current husband and coauthor of this book.
On The View, Whoopi Goldberg expressed her disgust with B. Smith's husband. A week prior, he brought a camera team into he and B.'s home, opening up that he has a new girlfriend. The new girlfriend has a room in their home and helps take care of B. Supposedly, everyone in the family is ok with it.
My first thoughts were:
1. There's no way we can know their personal life, so there's no sense in putting your two cents into it
2. It seems like the new woman is helpful (based on the 30 second video fo them folding a sheet /s)
3. Caretaking is hard, I can understand how you need someone else, especially after 6 years
I was fine with this opinion. But after listening to this audiobook for several hours, I can come to the conclusion I think this guy is a bit of a pos.
There are too many chapters of him complaining how difficult it is to be a caretaker. They have plenty of money to hire help around the house...why he didn't hire help but was ok with a new girlfriend to live there 'helping' makes zero sense.
It wasn't until I came across the chapter where he starts talking about different love. Ok, I get that. Things are different when a loved one is sick and personalities change. But then he talks about pheromones, how we get what we need 'done' and move on after 18 months ... like screw this guy.
Here's the point where I decided I couldn't listen any further:
'Passion for a beautiful, healthy partner is always a little narcissistic, you know? You feel that surge of happiness; your heart beats faster. Those are the feelings in your chest. They're about how love makes you feel. I'm not even sure if that's love. Maybe it's infatuation.
Or if it is love, the scientists tell us, then what we're feeling is pheromones. Those biological exciters that buzz around our brains and bloodstreams driving us to procreate and propagate the race. No matter how you feel towards your lady love, pheromones last no longer than eighteen months.
That's science man, not poetry.
After that the love calms down because the job is done, biologically speaking. You've done your bid for the species. Or you haven't.
And those pheromones start to swirl again until you find that next sexy vessel for your possible offspring. Love for the woman you married becomes more about friendship and companionship than lust. And courtship is in your review mirror, but that's fine...more than fine...until one of you get seriously sick.'
My sympathy to B. Smith for marrying this guy. I was rooting for the benefit of the doubt until I heard this. He's insatiable and a bit cold. This book is full of red flags.
After a few chapters, I searched who B. Smith was and why she was famous. Before I could find out she was a model, restaurant owner, author, media personality, etc. I found endless links to a controversy with her current husband and coauthor of this book.
On The View, Whoopi Goldberg expressed her disgust with B. Smith's husband. A week prior, he brought a camera team into he and B.'s home, opening up that he has a new girlfriend. The new girlfriend has a room in their home and helps take care of B. Supposedly, everyone in the family is ok with it.
My first thoughts were:
1. There's no way we can know their personal life, so there's no sense in putting your two cents into it
2. It seems like the new woman is helpful (based on the 30 second video fo them folding a sheet /s)
3. Caretaking is hard, I can understand how you need someone else, especially after 6 years
I was fine with this opinion. But after listening to this audiobook for several hours, I can come to the conclusion I think this guy is a bit of a pos.
There are too many chapters of him complaining how difficult it is to be a caretaker. They have plenty of money to hire help around the house...why he didn't hire help but was ok with a new girlfriend to live there 'helping' makes zero sense.
It wasn't until I came across the chapter where he starts talking about different love. Ok, I get that. Things are different when a loved one is sick and personalities change. But then he talks about pheromones, how we get what we need 'done' and move on after 18 months ... like screw this guy.
Here's the point where I decided I couldn't listen any further:
'Passion for a beautiful, healthy partner is always a little narcissistic, you know? You feel that surge of happiness; your heart beats faster. Those are the feelings in your chest. They're about how love makes you feel. I'm not even sure if that's love. Maybe it's infatuation.
Or if it is love, the scientists tell us, then what we're feeling is pheromones. Those biological exciters that buzz around our brains and bloodstreams driving us to procreate and propagate the race. No matter how you feel towards your lady love, pheromones last no longer than eighteen months.
That's science man, not poetry.
After that the love calms down because the job is done, biologically speaking. You've done your bid for the species. Or you haven't.
And those pheromones start to swirl again until you find that next sexy vessel for your possible offspring. Love for the woman you married becomes more about friendship and companionship than lust. And courtship is in your review mirror, but that's fine...more than fine...until one of you get seriously sick.'
My sympathy to B. Smith for marrying this guy. I was rooting for the benefit of the doubt until I heard this. He's insatiable and a bit cold. This book is full of red flags.
September 2, 2015
This is an excellent memoir written by B. Smith and her husband about their experience with Alzheimer's. One of the most interesting parts of this book is the short portions that were written by B herself which describe events in her own voice. The book is also a very helpful guide for caregivers because B's husband shares the lessons he learned as he cared for his wife and gives some very helpful suggestions. The book provides a beautiful portrait of how the life of an entire family is changed by an Alheimer's diagnosis. Even readers who are not familiar with the B. Smith brand will likely enjoy this book as it provides ample background information on who B. is apart from her diagnosis. I highly recommend this book to anyone impacted by diseases that cause memory loss.
A special thanks to NetGalley for providing me with an advanced reader copy of this book. I am not required to give a positive review.
A special thanks to NetGalley for providing me with an advanced reader copy of this book. I am not required to give a positive review.
February 19, 2016
Wow, wow, wow. This is one of those increasingly necessary reads for so many people -- people who are likely candidates for dementia, people who are caregivers or may be caregivers for loved ones with dementia, people who have loved ones with dementia, and people who work with and live among those who experience dementia. Parts of B. Smith's and her husband and caretaker Dan Gasby's story are acute, familiar, and resonant and will likely be to all readers who know and love someone with dementia. Peppered throughout the lovely memoir are facts, tips, and lots of helpful and practical information about Alzheimer's and dementia and memory-related illnesses for everyone but especially for caregivers and loved ones (family and friends). Dementia, particularly Alzheimer's, is scary and Smith and Gasby don't shy away from that, but they make the experience less lonely, more accessible and understandable, and they are strong advocates for us all to be aware and to be advocating to fund, research, and fight for treatments to improve and better the lives of those with dementia. Definitely on my DCL staff picks for March!
November 12, 2022
I found this book to be an informative writing of Alzheimer’s desease.
I’ve read several books on the subject including a past Bookclub read; Still Alice. No matter how much one reads on a subject, there’s always something new to learn when written by someone else. A different perspective, this book gave an interesting point of view from a caretaker’s perspective. It’s was courageous for the Mr. Gasby to tell how it affected his physical relationship with his wife. I’ve read about how the afflicted person’s behavior changes so erratically, yet I never considered how one’s physical and emotional relationship (namely sexual) can be affected by this illness. Also, it was sad to read her ‘voice’ as she deteriorated as the illness progressed.
I’ve read several books on the subject including a past Bookclub read; Still Alice. No matter how much one reads on a subject, there’s always something new to learn when written by someone else. A different perspective, this book gave an interesting point of view from a caretaker’s perspective. It’s was courageous for the Mr. Gasby to tell how it affected his physical relationship with his wife. I’ve read about how the afflicted person’s behavior changes so erratically, yet I never considered how one’s physical and emotional relationship (namely sexual) can be affected by this illness. Also, it was sad to read her ‘voice’ as she deteriorated as the illness progressed.
October 11, 2017
I wanted to like this. I just cannot find a reason to continue after reading 75%. I have family members who have been afflicted with Alzheimer's and I usually enjoy others insights and experiences but just not this story. I wish them well.....
June 29, 2019
This book was very informative, after hearing that Dan has a live in girlfriend, although it is after he wrote the book, I’m very bias about him. He does share great detail about Alzheimer’s but I wish she would have been able to give more of her story than him.
August 24, 2017
This book really opened my eyes to Alzheimer's and how it affects the families and the person who suffers from it. I am also shocked at how many people have it and how little there is to help slow the process down. Much more needs to be done for those with this disease.
I won this on Read It Forward.
I won this on Read It Forward.
January 18, 2016
Received from Netgalley. Outstanding book on Alzheimers and the impact it has on patients and their families. It could happen to one of us or to someone we know. I would definitely recommend this one.
March 8, 2017
This very personal book has writings from B. (the one with Alzheimer's) and Dan (her husband and caregiver). It is interesting to see this disease from those two viewpoints. Very informative. Lots of resources given.
March 25, 2016
Review will follow.
July 7, 2020
This is a very accessible account of B. Smith's journey through the early and middle stages of Alzheimer's. Mr. Gasby is loving and honest in his description of their lives and their hopes and challenges during this time. It was impactful to learn how prevalent Alzheimer's is in the African American community. I had no idea.
My dad has moderate Alzheimer's. He and my stepmother read this book and really related to it and then passed it on to me. I liked the way it is written, with short chapters followed by lessons learned and lots of resources. I think a broad audience will find it useful. It's not so filled with medical details that it's a slog - it's more about daily life. I wouldn't rely on it as the only book to read about Alzheimer's, but it's certainly a good one to have in one's library, and is filled with useful tips.
I have spent time on the Alzheimer's Association website but find it to be a bit overwhelming. There's just so much to sift through and it's so general. I want descriptions of what a particular behavior looks like in real life, and that's part of what I got from Before I Forget.
(Side note: After I finished the book, I learned there is some controversy around Mr. Gasby but I didn't know any of that when I read the book, and so it didn't color my reaction to it. I still think a broad swath of people could find this book helpful.)
My dad has moderate Alzheimer's. He and my stepmother read this book and really related to it and then passed it on to me. I liked the way it is written, with short chapters followed by lessons learned and lots of resources. I think a broad audience will find it useful. It's not so filled with medical details that it's a slog - it's more about daily life. I wouldn't rely on it as the only book to read about Alzheimer's, but it's certainly a good one to have in one's library, and is filled with useful tips.
I have spent time on the Alzheimer's Association website but find it to be a bit overwhelming. There's just so much to sift through and it's so general. I want descriptions of what a particular behavior looks like in real life, and that's part of what I got from Before I Forget.
(Side note: After I finished the book, I learned there is some controversy around Mr. Gasby but I didn't know any of that when I read the book, and so it didn't color my reaction to it. I still think a broad swath of people could find this book helpful.)
April 12, 2020
Sobering and honest read about the celebrity B. Smith's decline from Alzheimer's disease. This book unpacks not only the individual and family impacts of the disease, but the ignorant policy and funding approaches that needlessly cost millions of lives annually. I am now in shock about how little is known about the disease, especially how it disproportionately impacts Blacks. This book's message is clear- this disease is wicked and widespread and we need to do better to eradicate it.
February 4, 2021
I think this is an important book to increase awareness of Alzheimer's and am thankful it was written. It included personal story and medical detail. When my book club picked this, I was hesitant to read this because of family members who suffered from dementia as they aged and fear.
February 7, 2016
Dan Gasby shares his journey with wife, B. Smith, from the first time they met almost 30 years ago, to the moment he knew he had fallen in love with her, their fairytale marriage, and how younger onset Alzheimer's came knocking at their door to change life forever. The book also includes a sprinkling of short chapters written by B., to help us understand the disease from her perspective.
Every page is honest, bold, and compelling, and anyone who has been touched by Alzheimer's will no doubt find many parallels to their own story. So many of the thoughts and emotions Gasby speaks of were reminiscent of those I felt with my own mother during her illness. I found those passages particularly validating.
Gasby gives readers an inside look at his life with B., sharing common challenges such as taking away car keys, coping with changes in personality, and bringing in outside assistance. Along the way, he offers tips and shares valuable lessons learned. He also explores the world of science, critical need for more study participants, and reasons African Americans are at a higher risk for the disease yet historically have a lower participation rate in research studies and clinical trials.
The book is many things: a memoir, a caregiving guide, an Alzheimer's research primer, and a passionate advocate's call to action. Most of all, though, it's a beautiful love story.
Every page is honest, bold, and compelling, and anyone who has been touched by Alzheimer's will no doubt find many parallels to their own story. So many of the thoughts and emotions Gasby speaks of were reminiscent of those I felt with my own mother during her illness. I found those passages particularly validating.
Gasby gives readers an inside look at his life with B., sharing common challenges such as taking away car keys, coping with changes in personality, and bringing in outside assistance. Along the way, he offers tips and shares valuable lessons learned. He also explores the world of science, critical need for more study participants, and reasons African Americans are at a higher risk for the disease yet historically have a lower participation rate in research studies and clinical trials.
The book is many things: a memoir, a caregiving guide, an Alzheimer's research primer, and a passionate advocate's call to action. Most of all, though, it's a beautiful love story.
December 6, 2019
Quite frankly this book was a challenge to get through. I understand that caring for an ill loved one is difficult particularly a loved one diagnosed with Alzheimer's but B. Smith's husband Dan comes across as someone who is somewhat self centered. Money is not an issue for this couple which should make caregiving easier but Dan Gasby makes half hearted attempts at bringing in help. Numerous times he reflects on how B. Smith did not want him to hire anyone who is pretty, alluding to perhaps a jealous trait she possesses. Yet a search for what is happening in their lives today will bring about results that show he has a live in girlfriend now and believes B. would have wanted it this way.
The book has a few entries from B. which may have been journal musings. These I found the most helpful as they showed the way her mind was working and its decline. I would have enjoyed the book more if the focus would have been on how the disease is affecting B. and less on how it was affecting Dan.
While I don't appreciate Dan for much of this book I did appreciate the chapters in which he discusses treatments and research. Those chapters are a bit dry but important to read. This book also has an extensive list of resources if a person is interested in learning more about the disease and the brain.
The book has a few entries from B. which may have been journal musings. These I found the most helpful as they showed the way her mind was working and its decline. I would have enjoyed the book more if the focus would have been on how the disease is affecting B. and less on how it was affecting Dan.
While I don't appreciate Dan for much of this book I did appreciate the chapters in which he discusses treatments and research. Those chapters are a bit dry but important to read. This book also has an extensive list of resources if a person is interested in learning more about the disease and the brain.
October 13, 2016
First I must say I listened to the audio version of this book. I think many times this impacts the enjoyability of the book. With this book, it was read by Dan Gasby the husband of B. Smith with small reflections by B. Smith. His reading was halted almost juvenile, monotone without much emotion. However, the "realness" of what he sounded like and knowing it was his experience brought an element to the story that I would have found annoying if I was listening to a work of fiction or a story without such personal connections.
I think this is a wonderful book for those touched by this disease and at this point, who hasn't been?? Also it is an eye opener for all of us. We are all aging. Our parents are aging. Our friends are aging. This IS affecting us, our country, our communities even if you do not have a personal connection to this disease.
In a chapter towards the end of the book, he brought politics into the discussion. Obviously there are political issues surrounding healthcare in the US, but it detracted from the greatness of the book in my opinion. He added a few jabs and made it fairly obvious how he votes which I always find obnoxious when you are reading a book that is not political in nature.
I think this is a wonderful book for those touched by this disease and at this point, who hasn't been?? Also it is an eye opener for all of us. We are all aging. Our parents are aging. Our friends are aging. This IS affecting us, our country, our communities even if you do not have a personal connection to this disease.
In a chapter towards the end of the book, he brought politics into the discussion. Obviously there are political issues surrounding healthcare in the US, but it detracted from the greatness of the book in my opinion. He added a few jabs and made it fairly obvious how he votes which I always find obnoxious when you are reading a book that is not political in nature.
March 23, 2023
I’m conflicted. I really wanted to like this book. As the son of a father who passed from early-onset Alzheimer’s, I know the heartbreak that both B Smith and Dan Gasby endured. I applaud them for the courage to tell their story.
I anticipated a memoir, but the book blends a number of nonfiction sub-genres, including memoir, narrative nonfiction, commentary, self-help and instruction. There are also parts that are journal-like. Dan Gasby, the narrator, is attempting to achieve a number of laudable goals with this book. But I’m not sure they’re accomplished effectively; in many ways, the constant shifts between sun-genres distract the reader. In large measure, the book tries to accomplish too much.
The inclusion of another writer on the byline tells me this was, in substantial part, ghostwritten. And it feels that way. There are times where the reader gets a peek at the emotions naturally behind this story, but overall, I couldn’t help feeling as though I, as the reader, were being kept at a distance. As such, the book lost a lot of the inherent emotive power that comes from this story.
I anticipated a memoir, but the book blends a number of nonfiction sub-genres, including memoir, narrative nonfiction, commentary, self-help and instruction. There are also parts that are journal-like. Dan Gasby, the narrator, is attempting to achieve a number of laudable goals with this book. But I’m not sure they’re accomplished effectively; in many ways, the constant shifts between sun-genres distract the reader. In large measure, the book tries to accomplish too much.
The inclusion of another writer on the byline tells me this was, in substantial part, ghostwritten. And it feels that way. There are times where the reader gets a peek at the emotions naturally behind this story, but overall, I couldn’t help feeling as though I, as the reader, were being kept at a distance. As such, the book lost a lot of the inherent emotive power that comes from this story.
February 11, 2016
I was drawn to this book after seeing B Smith and her husband on the Today show talking about her Alzheimers and what life has been like for them. It is an excellent study in research development, the honest and heart wrenching process for both the patient and the caregiver, and a handy list of suggestions for those in charge of dealing with this devastating disease. It really is a small compact bible for families who are suspecting that this might be a cause of their loved ones mental and behavioral changes or for those who have already been diagnosed. A wonderful blending of story and fact.
April 4, 2016
Before I Forget is part personal memoir and part guidebook for navigating a diagnosis of early onset Alzheimer's. The word that comes to mind while reading this book is courageous. B Smith and Dan Gasby are courageous in meeting the challenges of this disease. With the help of editor Michael Shnayerson, they are also courageously sharing those challenges with the public so that others may benefit.
Read my complete review at: http://www.memoriesfrombooks.com/2016...
Reviewed for the Blogging for Books program
Read my complete review at: http://www.memoriesfrombooks.com/2016...
Reviewed for the Blogging for Books program
July 23, 2017
I had the good fortune to work with B. Smith in 1982. I also have a loved one who is suffering from Alzheimer's. So this book was of interest to me on several different levels. Some chapters were written by B. herself; others were written by her caretaker husband. Some chapters describe the family's unique experience with this affliction; others offer advice and resources for such a battle. This book has something for everyone and is highly recommended
March 28, 2016
If Alzheimer's has in any way touched your life, this is well worth reading. It's tough to get through, not because it is boring or poorly written, but because of gauntlet of emotions experienced while reading it. What a senseless and horrible disease, but there can also be beauty found if you simplify things and focus on your loved one.
December 12, 2016
I found this book necessary but difficult to read. As a long time admirer of B. Smith, it's heartbreaking to read how this illness has transformed and devastated her life and family. The strength and love of her husband and daughter made it easier to read. It's very informative and transparent. I loved it.
June 24, 2016
Really interesting read. I learned a lot about Alzheimer's and there research involved with trying to find a cure for this deadly disease. This really helped educate me and inspired me to help do what I can to help find a cure for Alzheimer's disease.
April 3, 2016
Excellent and very honest book about married couple dealing with her Alzheimer's.
April 7, 2016
Model and restaurant owner B. Smith and her husband, Dan Gasby tell the story of how B. has been stricken with Alzheimer's and their struggle as they go through it.
Read: April 2016
Read: April 2016
January 16, 2017
I struggled to connect with Dan Gasby's writing, but I appreciate and support the project of this book.
March 17, 2019
A must-read for anyone who is a caregiver for someone with Alzheimer's.
April 19, 2019
Before I Forget...
Overall this was a good read. Very informative. Can’t help but feel some type of way about B. Smith’s husband though...
Overall this was a good read. Very informative. Can’t help but feel some type of way about B. Smith’s husband though...
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