A Time to Forgive

by Darold Bigger

What do you do when your daughter’s been murdered—been stabbed to death—and now is lying cold and stiff in a morgue hundreds of miles away? Do you leave her there alone, or do you bring her home? How do you feel when the funeral is over and you’re watching her—beautiful, peaceful, but too still—disappear from view for the last time as the funeral director lowers and latches the lid of the coffin? Where was God when the murderer pushed his way into her home and attacked her? Where was He the year before, when, after praying about finding the right place, she moved to that neighborhood and chose that apartment? And what does God expect of you now? Jesus said we’re to forgive everyone who sins against us. But in forgiving your daughter’s assailant, aren’t you saying, “It’s OK; it wasn’t so bad after all?” This book has three parts. In the first, Darold Bigger tells us the story of his daughter’s death and what he went through after it. This isn’t a view from a distance. Dr. Bigger lets us into his heart, lets us see what he was thinking and feeling, and how he finally found what he needed to carry on. The second part is an in-depth look at forgiveness. Why God requires us to forgive our enemies, what that means, and how we can do what He’s asked us to. The third part, much briefer than the first two, offers a rather unique—and helpful—look at love. The perspective it provides enables us to more easily love our enemies and forgive them.

192 pages, Kindle Edition

First published January 1, 2015

Reviews

[David B Smith · Rating 5 out of 5]

If ever an author had street cred earned the hard way, Chaplain Bigger is that man. His book is such a bracing, honest, vulnerable confession about his spiritual battle to properly forgive the villain who raped and murdered his daughter Shannon. The testimony part of the story is raw and gripping, but his spiritual reflections overflow with quiet peace and even some nice moments of charm and humor. He is a dedicated Christian man, and his healing comes from Calvary; that goes without saying. But his book is also filled with practical and time-tested principles for how to cope with devastating loss. The wonderful irony is how Darold opens up about the reality that he was helpless to gain this victory; he looked in the mirror and saw hatred and shallow vengeance. How he got past that is an ongoing miracle. I was blessed to hear him share in person not long ago, and this book is pure gold.

[Kaci Leinbach · Rating 5 out of 5]

Darold Bigger was my therapist a few years back when I was living in the walla walla valley. He mentioned this book as we had many sessions regarding my oldest brothers suicide & my next older brothers attempted suicide. I was struggling with so many things mentally at that time & was unable to read this book. Fast forward 3 years & I’ve finally begun this book.

Darold, you’ve been heavy on my mind the last few months. I hope you & your wife are doing well. Thank you for allowing your readers the opportunity to look inside your heart during one of the most tragic moments of your life. I, now as a mom, am struggling with the transition into motherhood & as always find your words so helpful.


-Kaci Leinbach

[DONALD L MESERAULL · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great book about dealing with the hardest thing in life!

To lose a child to a brutal murder must be one of the hardest things in life. God knows from experience. This book details one family's struggle to come to terms not only with the event, but to follow God's leading toHis solution. I learned a lot about relating to other people--the ones I don't much like as well as those I do.