"A true story", says the byline; and I feel emotionally wrecked. Not the kind of angst you get sitting in front of a big screen with a box of tissues for, not the heartache of national historic atrocities like you see on television, nor any of that kind of heavy duty emotion. The wrecked feeling is one of admiration. Yes, I am admirably wrecked. Can I help feeling wretched with admiration and awe for this woman who can recount her life in such a candidly honest way, a life of sexual abuse, crime and adventure? Not for one moment does BB wallow in self pity, she owns her emotions and experiences without blame or justification, and a lot of this stuff is pretty hardcore one would expect her to have the proverbial chip on her shoulder, or at least whine a little, or throw a more spectacular tantrum than the one that landed her in a psychiatric ward.
BB recounts her life with such clarity and realism, and even humour. Within the story, she skips back to flashes of her time as 'sex slave' to barrister Robert Vernon, whom she dubs "the Chief". Her articulation and colloquial way of writing is personal, concise yet full of depth, immediately drawing the reader in. BB manages to make hard core experiences, embarrassing events... somehow ok through her candid recounting. Somehow she manages to speak from the mindset of her age at the time, which I find a remarkable feat. She IS fifteen, with a teenager's angst and concerns and attitudes; and in this respect the book is skillfully written and flows along beautifully.
What I find astonishing is BB recounts succinctly, without directly acknowledging, the results of sexual abuse and it's impact on a child's life. Several suicide attempts, love affairs, casual sex and prostitution, international travel, and even obsession into hobbies, all play their part in BB recovering her sense of self. The book does not end with this resolution, but leaves the reader curious as to what comes next....
For me, a good book is one that leaves me affected, or changed somehow, after turning that last page. Four in seven teenage girls are sexually abused or assaulted at some point in their lives, it's an issue that touches a huge number of people. Within BB's extreme life experiences, I heard my own voice; I recognised and understood a little better my own life choices, that have been directly and indirectly touched by this issue; and maybe even in the process forgiven some of the choices I made when young. Beyond this, it's a book that will challenge you to be less judgmental, perhaps, of those who choose to live their lives in ways society would regard as less than optimal... petty crime, sex for sale or free, a maturing adult seeking acceptance and love and validation in, as the song goes, all the wrong places. It's enough to break your heart... but instead BB instills a sense of, through the pain and heartache, adventure and unconditional acceptance.