Twisted Needs

Painted Hearts #1

by Maudie Christin

Anderson de Sousa

Anderson de Sousa has spent his entire life craving stability, devotion, and a place where he truly belongs. Unfortunately, he keeps searching for it in the worst possible place: Parker Morozov. No longer a kid, Anders still finds himself drawn to the one person who has always made him feel safe. But as lingering affection and blurred boundaries begin to spiral into something far more dangerous, he is forced to confront the terrifying reality of just how dangerous this dependency really is.

Parker Morozov

NHL captain Parker Morozov has adored his best friend’s younger brother since Anders was a young child. Parker has never been able to resist being needed, which is why he has never truly been able to let Anders go. Anders is no longer a child, though, and Parker is starting to look at him in a way he never should have in the first place. Now trapped between loyalty and longing, Parker is forced to confront the terrifying reality of what he has become to Anders and what Anders has become to him. After slowly losing his grip on the things he has spent his life controlling, Parker soon comes to the realization that walking away may no longer be possible.

Genres: M M Romance, Hockey, Dark Romance

492 pages, Kindle Edition

Published August 18, 2026

Reviews

[Shy]

I audibly groan every time I see 5 or 4 months back and then 3 or 2 years back. Just tell the story in order 😩

I also hate Parker, he’s very manipulative.

I see why Parker is attracted to someone half his age because that matches his maturity level. 🙄

Parker also litters, he hates kids (society’s most vulnerable group), calls his best friend’s kids annoying (developmentally appropriate behavior btw), the list goes on. There are no redeeming qualities. I get this is supposed to be a dark romance or whatever but the character at least needs to have something to like, he’s just not hot. 🤷‍♀️

At least Anders isn’t a total pushover but he deserves more. If I finish this I’m gonna be pissed that he ends up with Parker.

Yeah i’m DNFing because talking about how much he’s grown during a sex scene is very off putting. The age gap is too weird.

Time of death: 53%

[❦ Gracie ❦]

I genuinely don’t even know how to feel about this book because… it was SO messed up 😭

Parker was honestly manipulative asf… and he was saying some weird things like “he was never Luca’s”. Sir??? That’s his brother 😭 He literally raised him and adopted him. He’s basically his father figure.

And then we have:

“You have a beautiful body, sweetheart. I’ve waited so long to see it.”

“Have you now?”

“Without a doubt,” he nods, […]
Parker leans in and tugs on my earlobe with his teeth. “So worth the wait.”

“Thank God one of us has patience.”

Yes… sure 😭

Because mind you, the MAIN problem for me is that Parker and Luca Anderson’s brother literally grew up together and were incredibly close + the age gap ?? Parker was someone Anderson had always gone to for comfort since he was a kid. Anderson unfortunately didn’t really have a father figure growing up. He basically just had his older brother and Parker.

So… daddy issues maybe??? 😭 Because there’s literally a moment where Anderson says to Parker while they’re having sex:

“You know you are, you’re my daddy.”

BROTHER WHAT??? 😭😭

And then:

“Nothing really came up for him until right before I turned twenty-one.”

“The second the words leave my mouth, I know they sound bad”

They sound bad AND they’re false, honey 😭 Because when you were younger like 20 he was already kissing you, honey. Be serious.

I also LOVED Anderson’s friends. I really appreciated how much they cared about him and how they actually told him directly that the whole situation was a little weird. They didn’t just blindly support everything he was doing, and honestly, I loved that.

And yes, I KNOW IT’S FICTION 😭 I’m literally just giving my opinion, alright??? Fiction doesn’t automatically mean everything is right or healthy.

And Luca’s reaction??? Listen, if I had a best friend who basically grew up with me AND my little brother, and then my lil bro is 21yo I found out they were dating behind my back??? I’m burning everyone down. I’m joking but I’m also deadass serious 😭😂

Honestly, reading books like this has genuinely made me think that maybe TikTok and books have kind of messed with some people’s perception of reality because, for me, the age gap itself was never something I thought was a big deal. Like, 21 and 38? Before reading this book, I genuinely would’ve been like, “Okay… and?” 😭

And mind you, I’m 19, so this book REALLY made me question some of my own thoughts. Because before, I genuinely thought that if I dated a man or woman who was 30 or 35, I wouldn’t see it as a big deal. But reading this made me realize that… yeah, maybe it actually WOULD be a big deal depending on the circumstances.

Obviously, it’s fiction, but it still made me rethink things, and reading other people’s reviews also opened my eyes a little. So… yeah 😭

Because Parker was clearly manipulative toward Anderson at times, and people can disagree with me, but a 38-year-old man who has been a role model and such an important figure in a 21-year-old’s life for YEARS is obviously going to have some level of influence over him, even if he doesn’t consciously realize it.

So yeah… this book was… a LOT 😭 Sometimes cute, mostly weird, I was just sitting there like WHAT???

Anyway, I really hope we get a book about Seth because I NEED HIS STORY 👀😭

[currently being delulu]

This being the first solid good romance I’ve read in a year among a flood of authors writing AI generated slop .. it’s just a cherry on top it’s m/m & taboo

tropes
m/m
Age gap 🔥
Older brothers best friend
Roommates
Possessive /JP 🫦
Taboo









So just Exacly how bad do you want an actual hero who’s in pain from yearning for a beloved boy he can’t have? ⬇️


I can’t breathe, Anders.” Parker’s voice breaks completely, reminding me exactly where I am and who I’m talking to. “I can’t fucking breathe.”
“Just stop.”
“Do you feel it?” he asks. “It feels like…” He lets out a shaky breath and chokes on air. “Something tied around your throat, and it’s so constricting. It’s so hard to breathe and it’s unbearable…”


“You are my air, Anderson.” He’s silent for a beat. “You’re the only thing I can’t seem to exist without.” Tears slide down my face and I don’t even bother wiping them away, because letting myself feel bad almost seems easier than pretending I don’t. “No matter how hard I try.” His voice drops lower. “Sertsu ne .”.. But I won’t let him move out. The thought of walking through my front door knowing Anders isn’t on the other side makes my chest hurt. I can’t live with that. I can’t..



ppl can fuck off with their “ possessiveness is a character flaw analogy bc your lying to my fucking face if you don’t think this is hot as fuck



.. “I lock eyes with Anders as I savagely suck on his three middle fingers, wetting them with my saliva before I guide them to his own mouth. His lips part wide as I drive his digits in, muttering “that’s good, sweetheart,” when he surrenders fully, letting me manipulate him in any way I want. “You’re doing so good. Just keep sucking for me.”




“Mine. The thoughts will never escape me at this point, and I want to shout it for the entire world to hear. He was never Luca’s. And I know that’s an insane thing to think about…but I’m not wrong. I know I’m not…and I don’t fucking care whatsoever about any kind of consequence. Not right now, at this very moment. I could never bring myself to care when I finally have exactly what I want.”

“Look up at me,” I murmur deeply, guiding his head up.
His eyes are bloodshot. His cheeks are stained with tears. There’s a cloudy mixture of cum and sweat and saliva running down his chin. And he’s never looked more perfect than he does at this very moment. Because he looks like he’s mine”
.



Is the age gap very problematic and slightly concerning at times given the nature of their relationship? Your damn fucking straight and bitch that’s half the fun when you get giddy over reading simp level behavior like this 🤗


.. The image of him sleeping peacefully in my arms flashes through my mind, making something warm settle deep in my heart. He’s always so content when he’s sleeping. Perfect. All I want to do is run my fingers through his soft hair and kiss the top of his head. I want to feel his heart beating and listen to the faint sleeping noises he makes when he’s more tired than usual.”



“His man. I’m his man. My heart beats a little too fast to process hearing those words. My body’s temperature hikes up a few degrees past the point of being comfortable. I’m dangerously close to needing an ice-cold shower. “My God, I miss you. I keep reaching for you in my sleep.”
“Do you?” Anders asks in a low, shaky voice. “You miss me?”
“So badly,” I whisper, unable to trust myself. “So fucking badly.”
.

he ain’t Your sugar daddy if he’s not hyping you up like this constantly that’s for fucking sure

. And there it is again. That thing he does. That impossible way he loves me through the things I love too. I’m sitting here wishing the season would end so I can get back to him faster, and he’s thinking about my teammates. About the guys who’ve spent their whole lives chasing the Cup. About everyone.
I don’t think I could build a better person in my head if I tried.”
..

[Rylee Walker]

TRULY terrible. One of the most groomy, creepy, disgusto age gaps I’ve ever read. I truly feel bad for Anders. Parker needs to be investigated. He basically helped raise this kid his whole life (while he is 18 years older than him) and then does all this?? I was trying to ignore all the times Parker would call Anders some version of “little boy” or “my sweet precious boy”, but I finally had to DNF when Parker was thinking about how he raised and shaped Anders. Even goes so far as to say, “Wondering how much of the man in my arms would still exist if I’d never been there. Wondering how much of him I taught. How much of him I influenced. How much of him became what he is because, for better or worse, I was always somewhere nearby.” WHAT????

[Jenell Peters]

I hardly ever DNF a book but this was all over the place. I really wanted to love it because I saw some videos on TikTok but unfortunately it just wasn’t for me.

[Sarah☀️ Somerville]

DNF @ 60% - Readers who enjoy possessive, toxic relationships might enjoy this one. For me, there's not enough going on to justify 400+ pages - I need more than just the relationship. The time-hopping was really not for me - give me a book in chronological order every time.

[Irina]

This has climbed easily in TOP 5 of books i've read this year! The story was beautiful the spice was delicious. I love a good age-gap mm romance and this 100% delivered.

[Crex]

I really thought I could endure reading this crazy-ass, manipulative book, but the moment Parker practically told Anders that "he likes you" except he was talking about his d!ck liking Anders, I was DONE. Like boy!!! are you actually mad??? 😭

And then this man had the audacity to talk about how Anders was “never Luca’s” and that he knows it’s an insane thing to say. YES, IT IS INSANE. Because that is his BROTHER!!! the person who has practically been a father to him. The audacity is actually doing backflips at this point.

And mind you, Parker is 39 years old. A whole grown-ass man. Even teenagers behave better than this. 😭

Because what exactly are we doing here Parker? What is the thought process??? Who gave you the microphone???

Boy, bye....

[Jasmin]

This book is about a fully grown man grooming a child and the results of it coming to fruition in adulthood.

DNF’d at 44% bc I actually couldn’t cope with the emotional abuse. All the time jumps that were so inconsistent in actually keeping up with themselves I think the author got confused and started writing about something that happened four months ago in a flashback chapter and in a present time chapter put it as having happened only yesterday.

There’s a lot of things that I can criticise this book for one being the time jumps that even seem to confuse themselves in the timeline but the entire premise of this book is Parker grooming and us as a child and then as an adult continuing the controlling be.

I’m all for dark romance I love a Rina Kent, specifically some of her darker works like Kiss The Villain are exactly what I love and what I rate highly but this is not it.

At least in a lot of dark romances there is actually genuine loving care for someone that comes from a place of ill advised intentions. But in this book this is literally just a man who has groomed his best friend‘s little brother who has a 17 year age gap and now he’s a legal adult. Parker continuously tries to gaslight Anders into thinking that every time Parker kisses him or does something to him, it’s actually Ander’s fault.

I saw this book on TikTok and I think the author has done a great job of promoting it but this is possibly one of those relationships where it’s not a justifiable kind of toxic where you can find something good to latch onto from it. It is just a toxic where there is nothing that is actually objectively real love in there. Anything that could possibly be considered loving this book between these two characters is entirely tainted by Parker’s constant need to control. Anders is clearly a boy in need of a lot of healing and Parker just constantly holds things over him and uses things against him which is just so emotionally abusive but it’s not even in the realm of dark romance. It’s literally just abuse. There’s a lot of lines cross just in the 44% that I read and I’m actually disappointed that there was no progress in it just seems to continuously be a lot of emotional abuse, a lot of emotional manipulation and a lot of holding something over someone else’s with a massive Power imbalance.

[S]

Okay so I really enjoyed this book initially. A lot can be said for the first chapter in a book, but Twisted Needs had be hooked. I enjoyed the plot, the Dual POV and time lines — though in the beginning when it was changing from 2 years ago to 1 to 3 to then 5/4 months ago I got a little confused but after a few chapters it worked. I really liked the writing and pacing of this book and Anders character, however I really did not like Parker.

In the beginning I did, however after a while I did not. There’s nothing wrong with a character being protective and possessive in an age gap romance, but there were several moments where Parker just came across manipulative. Like SERIOUSLY manipulative, which I didn’t think went well with the age gap. Like there’s having flaws, but the age difference between Parker and Anders is significant and it went from Parker genuinely caring for Anders to seemingly use their age difference in a way to manipulate Anders.

I still read it through and even though I didn’t like Parker this won’t put me off reading any other books from the author, and I’m excited as to what will come next 🙂

[mmbookluver47]

I loved this

So brothers best friend with age Gap yes please. I had never heard of this book I just came across the authors page on tik tok. This story is forbidden and hot and just was a over all great story I absolutely loved.

[Neisha † The Poet †]

s. 4.7 Disclaimer, I loved this book. I only debated taking a star off because of the relationship with Luca, which I thought was handled poorly. I will go into more details about it below, but because it was so recurring throughout the book, i knew it would impact my rating. Ultimately, the fact that the book was well written, and I enjoyed the characters won out.

This is the first age gap book I have read where the age gap means something. usually one man is older than the other, and it doesn't mean anything in the overall plot. There are usually jokes made about having a sugar daddy and/or calling them daddy during intercourse, but no one cares beyond that. This is one of the most natural stories I have read because people questioned it and people were not on their side in the sense that they made it normal. I can say with 100% certainty if I knew of a relationship like this in real life with someone who I am close with, I would say they were groomed. As for this book, while I dont think he is an intentional groomer... I still dont support the relationship. mind you this age gap is not the largest i have read, i think it is like 12-19 years, but the relationship being as embedded as it is in childhood, gives me pause. I usually enjoy tropes feminization, possessiveness, panties, and a daddy kink in books, but i found myself skipping alot because the realism was too much. So the spice was of no concern to me.

I am not sure I could have forgiven my bestfriend if I was Luca. Speaking of Luca... his relationship with anders bothered me. I understand being young himself and raising a sibling is hard, but anders spoke to him and about him as though Luca didnt care about him or that Luca put himself first. the book never gave any indication of Luca being anything but a flawed person who did his best (like all the characters). I was constantly thrown by the daggers tossed at luca or when luca was mentioned that it took something away from me, as there was no clarity. I honestly chalk his relationship with Luca up to his own immaturity which doesnt bode well for how I view his romantic relationship. I did enjoy their heart to heart when I was 94% done with the book, but it felt like it was too little too late for me by that point to salvage my view on their relationship.

[lilly]

oh and she quoted heated rivalry hold up!!

oh and ex-fucking-cuse me we can not mention beautiful boy during sex.

oh how i loved this book.

was lowkey eating up the flashbacks.

parker always looking out for anders 🙁
like him always coming to get him when he calls and helping him with his migraines.
luca also hate to break it to you but you lowkey plotted them together when everytime anders did something you called parker.

luca and anders you made me cry.
luca you can’t say you would do it all over again even after what you two have been through.

oh and parker literally trying to buy anders forgiveness.
and finally giving him his dog 🙏

ugh i have no words i loved these two so much.

and parker PUT HIM DOWN!!

also why the fart was everyone treating anders like a kid like he is a grown man. let him sleep with who he wants yk.
even if that person happens to be his brother’s best friend who also happens to be 17 years older then him.
but who doesn’t love a good age gap (i know i sure do)
like luca your reaction was valid except when you made anders cry and realised he will always run to parker when he’s upset oop..

oh and luca you definitely don’t wanna know what happens in the bedroom.
like what happens in the bedroom stays in the bedroom 😏

oh and them adopting those three little muffins.
i knew they would.

lowkey knew it was vandy book next 🤫
maybe it’s about vandy and seth who knows?
i love how parker asked vandy to spy on anders like my man took his job super seriously even going home with seth so he didn’t go with anders hmm 🤨

[Kayleah Gurrera]

Things definitely started out toxic between them but who doesn’t love an mmc who’s so super possessive! The banter, the tension, the age gap, the absolute love they’ve had for each other… give me moreeeeee. Anders finally finding a backbone and stopping Parker from continuing to be toxic, manipulating, hypocritical and on/off with him was amazingggg and exactly what was needed. Parker was down baddd for Anders just needed a slap to the face to get his act together. Sometimes things got weird when they talked about how he’s known him since he was a child… didn’t love that especially when they were in bed… but I digress because I really did enjoy reading this. Could’ve done without the whole he basically was there to raise him point though

[Edzhe]

DNF it.
I really tried. The theme seemed interesting but every chapter in the book was the same - constant back and forth. Nothing else.
I’m frustrated that I even tried to read it and lost my time.

[syd:)]

okay that was the most taboo thing i’ve read i think ever. wild wild stuff here man. the questionable morals here had me indeed questioning…

all that said, i found it engaging and entertaining. i think the shock factor of the age gap and character relationship complications made for an interesting story. a total first for me in terms of dark romance. i honestly don’t know how to feel, so we’re in neutral 3 ⭐️ territory🤷🏾‍♀️

[Leonie Eve]

dnf at 38%
parker gave me the creeps. he kept talking about how anders is a sweet boy and he watched him grow up and all those things. he is literally anders safe person and it all felt a little predatory to me tbh. also his feminization of anders during the spicey scenes were not it for me.

and anders is so dependent on parker that i don’t tho k he is actually into him but his feelings come from that alone.

the power dynamic just didn’t sit right with me

also the time jumps were so confusing, i never knew exactly where we currently are

[Shelba]

DNF @ 59%.

While I wasn’t crazy over all the time jumps:

- prologue - 13 yrs ago
- chapter 2 - 3 years ago
- chapter 5 - 2 years ago
- chapter 7 - 2 years ago
- chapter 8 - 1 year ago
- chapter 11 - 5 months ago
- chapter 13 - 4 months ago
- chapter 20 - 3 months ago

.… I was enjoying this. Even with the annoying wishy washy Parker.

There was a moment when Parker throws out “pussy” and I thought maybe this was a case of an author writing MF and then switching it to MM… but when I got to the first sex scene.

Listen, I’m not a fan of the word “pussy”. That’s a me thing. I like feminization only in very specific parameters. I don’t like when people personify things, like cars or body parts. Like when people name their tits or dicks or whatever. This, this is something new.

“You have no idea,” Parker breathes into my ear, nipping and sucking on the shell of my ear, “how fucking badly I’ve wanted to meet this special pussy, Anders.”

“What?” I laugh without even thinking, my face stinging from how hard I blush.

“Well, she’s been waiting for me, hasn’t she?” Parker murmurs. He brings his hand to his mouth and licks two of his fingers before dropping them back down to my ass, pressing into me without warning.

“She?” I snort, tugging at his hair and humming.

“She,” Parker confirms, saying it warmly into my ear. The hairs on the back of my neck stick straight up, my body flashing with heat. He swirls his two fingers over my rim, and a small breath escapes me. “Can I see her?”

I got the ick.

For 5+ hours I set this book down and contemplated if I wanted to continue reading it. What if Parker kept referring to Anders’ asshole as “she/her”? What if he decided to call it Shirley? What if he started to refer to his dick as “he/him”?

But I persevered.

And I knew instantly I shouldn’t have.

"Look at that,” he murmurs, not sounding like himself. “This is the pinkest little pussy I’ve ever set my eyes on.”

“Jesus,” I groan. “What did you do with Parker?”

“I let him out to play,” he groans roughly. “God, she’s a gorgeous girl—I bet she’s so fucking sweet.”

Squick.

He licks the entire length of my crack, from top to bottom. “She’s sweet like a ripened cherry,” he groans, pulling back just a twinge.

Nope.

“Mm.” Parker pulls back for a beat. “Try not to clench her so hard, angel. I’m trying to eat.”

I’ve never been so squicked by ass eating in my life.

Though I think it’s maybe just Parker talking in general during this sex scene that give me the ick:

“This what you’re looking for?” he asks with a smile in his voice, fisting his cock and slapping it on my face. Thick and heavy. “Wanna wrap those pretty lips around your Pet’ka’s cock?”

and

He raises his brows and smirks. “Tell me.”

“Tell you what?”

“That it’s the biggest you’ve ever seen.” I inhale sharply, exhaling humorously.

“You have the biggest cock I have ever seen.”

Mind you, Parker is 38 to Anders’ 21. And Parker is talking like some 21 year old, insecure frat bro.

But then, it happened:

“Pucker your lips and give him a kiss.”

“Him” being Parker’s dick.

We get some more “pussy” thrown in. An addition of “cunt”. Oh, and some surprise Daddy kink.

And then Anders’ dick being called “him”.

Between the cringy dirty talk, the feminization and daddy kink (without being mentioned in content notes or marketing tags), and flashbacks, I just can’t deal with this.

I do think with the age gap, Parker knowing Anders since he was just a kid, their codependency, and all Parker’s manipulative nonsense, this is a better dark romance than most of those murder cult ones out there. So, there’s that.

[Reader]

OH MY GOSH. I am still not over whatever the heck I just read.

I read this entire book in one sitting because I was physically incapable of putting it down. I don’t think I’ve ever read a story quite like Anders and Parker’s.

Parker is this morally gray hockey captain who is unable to confront his own feelings for his best friend’s younger brother. He’s watched Anders grow up and has become such an important person in his life, which is why he keeps telling himself he could never go too far with him (even though he still does). I have a feeling Parker was a lot more difficult to write than Anders, simply because his development is much more subtle. He doesn’t become a completely different person by the end. Instead, we see him change the way he approaches his relationship with Anders, and he finally learns how to truly consider Anders’ feelings. My favorite Parker moment in the book was when he broke down and actually let Anders comfort him because, up until that point, we’d only ever seen Parker be the one comforting Anders. It’s something small and simple, but it’s incredibly important because it shows he’s finally able to fully open up to him.

I LOVED Anders. He reminds me so much of myself with his family issues and the fact that he was so down bad for Parker for so long (I genuinely think Maudie Christin stole my diary).

Honestly, what moved me the most wasn’t even the romance. It was Anders’ relationship with his older brother, which was definitely a catalyst for Parker and Anders’ entire entanglement. Luca adopted Anders when he was young, so he’s both a parent and a brother at the same time. Their relationship felt so genuine because Anders was never fully able to open up to Luca the way he did with Luca’s wife and Parker. I think that’s a really realistic reflection of complicated family and parenting dynamics.

But back to Anders and Parker… It felt like this man was playing in Anders’ face for so long, and I’m obsessed with the fact that Anders eventually learned to put his foot down and stand up for himself. He’s hopelessly in love with Parker, but he gradually starts to realize that Parker is stringing him along in an unhealthy way. He makes the conscious decision to stop entertaining Parker’s advances, and that’s when Parker finally realizes he needs to stop toying with Anders’ feelings and get his shit together.

I love the two of them together because their relationship feels earned. Parker made the changes he needed to make, while Anders finally started prioritizing the things that truly mattered to him, especially his own happiness. I also really loved the way Parker cared for Anders when he had stress migraines and panic attacks. It shows how deeply Parker has always cared about him, and I think it’s important that the same level of care carried over into their romantic relationship.

The spice was UNMATCHED ❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥 I liked how it started with a few spur-of-the-moment kisses, but the first spicy scene truly took their relationship beyond the point of no return. It made everything real for Parker, and it was really interesting to watch him struggle with coming to terms with his feelings.

I also loved seeing Parker learn to trust Anders enough for certain intimate moments. I haven’t read many age-gap romances where there weren’t rigid roles, so this was incredibly refreshing and honestly really reaffirming to see.

I really enjoyed Maudie Christin’s first release because it was such a fun read, but Twisted Needs was a completely different reading experience. It’s going to stick with me for a long time. I definitely cried way too many times while reading.

This is absolutely a book I would recommend to anyone who enjoys MM romance!

[Jine]

I got the opportunity to beta read this book my first ever I’ve seen so many clippings on TikTok or instagram and knew I would love this book and I wasn’t wrong AT all! This book truly had everything the push and pull with anders and Parker there will be so many moments will you will be mad because you just want them to give in! Most of the time the pull comes from Parker he’s older it’s his best friends little brother who he basically has watched him grow up so it’s a grey area and when Luca asks him to not go there with his brother he takes it serious for as long as he can
What Parker doesn’t realize is how much he needs Anders as he needs him it’s like air the push and the pull is there but Parker admits he can’t breathe properly without anders being home!
The spice ooooooh maaaam other than the few stolen kisses that Parker takes back you are waiting for that first spice scene and when I tell you that it was damn worth it! Trust because it makes up for it! Howeverr chapter 48 that is it that is all LOL
The emotions are there because Anders feels like Parker gives him a bone then immediately takes it back but once Parker knows he can’t be without anders he makes him prove it earn it and grovel which was chefs kiss!
One moment that made me cry was when Parker read Anders short story he wrote about Parker when he was 19 he got to see all the emotions that Anders had when he wanted Parker so bad when it was about more than just lust and when Parker was crying realizing how he treated Anders; Anders was the one who comforted him!
I love how we can feel how much Anders feels for Parker through the authors words we can feel that when Parker pushes him away the sadness and how his migraines come on
So the biggest hurdle for them absolutely was Luca it’s Parker’s best friend and Anders brother so we know this confrontation is coming and it happens in a way you don’t expect
Of course him and Anders yell they have their own issues because Luca adopted him and Anders always felt like he had to earn Luca’s love and I think Luca was scared of losing him to Parker but their conversation when they finally got all their feelings out just healed something
Luca and Parker was a different story and I was about to fight if Luca used the grooming word but it was so far from that and it made me laugh when Luca just punched him to make Luca feel better!
The epilogues because the book wasn’t enough that last epilogue made my heart freaking soar!!
Also the nicknames! Didn’t mind the daddy comments at all! The sweetheart! Anders calling him Pet’ka! Also the lace maaaaam!
Some favourite quotes
Be my Parker not his
Sometimes I want things that aren’t really mine park
You’re my air Anderson, you’re the only thing I can’t seem to live without
Being together we harm nobody being apart we extinguish ourselves

[eniiee]

3.75 “lovie” 🌟

Bear with me with the chaos of this review

1. I adore Anders (never knew i liked Lovie until he said it) I actually really like the way his character was written. I like that he’s smart and academically gifted and stood up for himself!! Like yes backbone.

2. Parker (idk i have mixed feelings which started out well. I feel like the author snuck the manipulative, degrading behaviour on us to make this darker than it needed to be. Cuz reading his POV in the beginning wasn’t bad but the middle is truly where the plot went sideways) Like when Anders friends were calling out the red flags, i was right there with them. The only reason i finished the book and supported them getting together is bcs i know it wasn’t grooming cuz we were also jn Parkers head with his POVs

3. The found family tho, and Anders besties, are def my fav part of this. Everyone is so cuteee but especially Anders and Emelie’s interactions!! Like that is her kid for real and i love that she always let us know.
Luca is so freaking relatable i swear. From on eldest parentified sibling to the other, you did your best dude.

Now the relationship between Anders and Parker is where my review fades out because i have thoughts but not sane enough to write them and definitely need to sleep on things to figure out how i feel lol. I actually believed they liked each other and i can believe that they love each other and it was nice to read about their chemistry and relationship developing. It was also nice to see that yes Anders fell first, but Parker was a goner lol. Now where everything falls apart is the smut. The daddy kink pissed me off ROYALLY!!! Calling Anders ass a “pussy” and “she” gave me the ick so much i gagged. Like WHYYYYY do mm authors do this?!! Like the daddy kink i can forgive but everything else was just EEEYUCK ughhh

Also the constant back and forth between the past and present was so jarring. Like i understood why when we started coming up to “a few months ago” however I was about to dnf on that alone because there was barely any lead up. Like let’s just tell the story linearly ughh

Anyways the epilogue was the cutest thing ever (i truly love watching couples marry and have babies🥺) ALSO HEATED RIVALRY MENTIONED AYEEEEE😁😁

[Eleanor Brennan]

There’s potential for the author, but there are a lot of areas that need improvement. An editor would be first up on my list of suggestions. A couple rounds of edits would have been really helpful. The grammar is incorrect throughout, though perhaps English isn’t her first language. I appreciate that this is self published, but that isn’t a get out of jail free card for basic grammar and spelling and I’m sick of Tik Tok book culture making it seem like it is. Hire an editor or ask a friend.

The plot had brief sparks of potential, but those were ultimately smothered by cringe dialogue and very VERY unrealistic characterisations. There are no adult men on planet earth who would refer to another adult man as sweetheart. It was truly the most bizarre thing about the book. Why would a Russian 30+ year old professional hockey player call his best friends brother sweetheart - and in front of people, as though that was normal? It’s all very heteronormative and this is yet another example of a woman projecting heteronormative conventions onto a gay couple without knowing anything about it in real life.
It felt like the author had taken themes she liked from other popular books (hockey, MM, forbidden, age gap, Russian) and smushed them together without any real research. The time jumps were done very poorly and made no sense. I love a dual timeline! This was not that. I’m not really sure what this was.

This book is like if Alex Cross and Rachel Reed had a love child - but that love child was missing an eye, both legs and couldn’t speak.

The author needs to do some training, reading and invest in an editor. Learn how to plot. Learn what you like, rather than what you think is popular. Like other reviewers, I was intrigued by the Tik Tok marketing but it has ultimately fallen flat.

I’d suggest a creative writing course to learn your craft and then try again. AND GET AN EDITOR.

[M Var]

Overall, this felt like a big step up in emotional depth and intensity compared to the author’s previous work. It is messy, addictive, and definitely not a light read, but it completely delivered and hit every mark where I expected it to.
This book completely pulled me in. The emotional tension between the characters is constant in the best way, and it really builds this push and pull dynamic that keeps you hooked the entire time.
What stood out most for me was how unsimple everything felt. The story does not just focus on romance, it digs into unconventional family dynamics, long term emotional baggage, and the way unresolved feelings can shape every interaction between people who are already deeply connected. That added a lot of weight to every scene and made even the quieter moments feel really intense.
There is also a surprising amount of angst woven throughout the book. It honestly had my skin crawling in the best way because of how drawn out and emotionally loaded everything felt.
The spice also deserves its own mention. It was much more detailed and graphic than expected, and a lot more intense than what Christin has written before.
I would 100% recommend this book, and I would definitely rate it six stars if possible. It was just such an unexpected jump in performance for this author and I think their writing was approached with a lot more intention in this regard.

[Jade]

I’ll start by saying THIS BOOK IS NOT FOR EVERYONE!
The author is very clear in her pre-story notes that this is taboo. There could be triggers for some. She is also very clear about not trying to romanticize this kind of relationship. If you read through it and decide it’s not up your alley…just don’t read it🤷🏻‍♀️

That being said…my review! >>>

So this was definitely an interesting read! I wasn’t entirely sure if I liked it (because of the content) but pushed through and wound up thoroughly enjoying! The writing is wonderful and the characters are so raw and relatable. While unconventional, I came to realize in real time (alongside the characters themselves) that they truly are each other’s perfect match! While I spent a while conflicted on my feelings on this book, the family confrontations and epilogues really swayed me towards liking it. If their family can support them, so can I!

Definitely meets the taboo requirements!
-17 year age gap
- Parker comes into Anders life when he’s SIX years old and practically helps raise him.

That being said I’d definitely be mindful if you have and grooming or power imbalance related triggers. The triggers are listed at the beginning of the book!!

(There is NO underage grooming or lusting after children in this book!) felt like that was important to mention

[Mariah]

Dnf @15%.

Between the time jumps that sometimes tell you where you are and sometimes don’t (are we in the past or present?) and the writing structure, this book is so choppy that I’m having a really hard time focusing on what’s actually happening.

People are introduced as if we’re supposed to already know them, Luca’s wife seems like someone they don’t even like, Parker is Russian? but has no accent or if he does it hasn’t been mentioned, even though they mentioned Luca’s wife’s accent and had her speaking French with Anders.

I wasn’t too excited when I opened the book and the content warnings were so heavy about grooming but I figured I’d dip in and see how bad it could be and while I haven’t reach what I imagine the worst is yet, I don’t appreciate the gaslighting and weird undertones of this book. There’s also been an odd amount of like republican/right wing stuff coming up that’s making me a little weary. Specifically calling one of your MCs out for being a republican or calling him “Mr second amendment” is not what I’m into.

Everyone’s kind of treating each other like crap and it’s not settling well for me.

[ash[hearts]angst]

This had all the ingredients to be an amazing story, but unfortunately it fell short for me around the 50% mark.

I would say my biggest issue was with Parker. He is the older man in this age gap, but he acts like a teenager, dead ass was so irritated by him by the end of this book. He was petty, immature, controlling, and completely manipulative. The problem is none of it was redeemable, he actually got worse as the book went on.

The next issue I had was with the back and forth timelines. It became too close to the present timeline that it got a little murky keeping track. I think it could've been solidified more with specific events that we could refer back to. As soon as the timelines stopped, the writing kind of dragged on.

Next, with Anders, it is suggested multiple times throughout the book that he went through some pretty dark shit as a kid, enough to have his half brother he doesn't know adopt him from his dad, but we never find out WHAT EXACTLY HAPPENED! Very frustrating.

[Ivaylo Balabanov]

4/5 ⭐️
🥵 spice

I love an age gap romance. Read this in 1 sitting. While I realize some of the content in this book might seem objectionable to some readers, the author had clearly stated trigger and content warnings. Not reading those is on you.

I thiught this was a strong start to a new series! The timeline could have been arranged better - jumping from one flashback to another then to the present and back was a little confusing. I do believe, however, that the choice was intentional as the author was perhaps trying to portray the constant back and forth between the characters.

I enjoyed Anders and Parker. Both flawed and fighting against their feelings until eventually they come together and then have to face the consequences of being together.

While this is a romance ending with an HEA, I found it intriguing that it attempted to explore more gray topics - blurred boundaries, codependency, possessiveness, manipulation and power dynamics. The book did it in a light way.

The spice was delicious.
Excited for more from this author.

[sunflower]

“You have a beautiful body, sweetheart. I’ve waited so long to see it.”

“Have you now?” I pant.

“Without a doubt,” he nods, letting my legs drop and spread apart enough for him to situate himself between them. Parker leans in and tugs on my earlobe with his teeth. “So worth the wait.”

“Thank God one of us has patience,” I breathlessly laugh, running my fingers through his sweat-drenched hair.

He grips my jaw, letting his mouth hover right above mine. “It was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.”

“What was?” I murmur.

“Waiting for you to grow into yourself,” he murmurs roughly, sounding like he’s about to reach his climax. “Fuck,” he breathes, speeding up his movements to an almost unbearable rhythm. “Mmm. You’ve blossomed, baby. This is your prime.”

“I’ve blossomed,” I echo thoughtlessly.

WTF - After that, I had already lost interest in the book; I only finished it because I wanted to see how other people reacted to their relationship.

Anders has great friends btw (the book's strong point).

[Lina]

DNF
Häh? i don´t get it. no seriously. what exactly is going on? I´m at 20 % and there has been a kiss and a "i shouldn´t have done that" like three/four times already? And every time it is written like its happening for the first time... also the time jumps are so confusing! if a new chapter starts sometimes i read it as "now" because the difference in the timeline is almost non existent but then sometimes that doesn´t make sense in the way the characters act. but then again it just generally doesn´t make sense.
So even putting aside the grooming situation going on where when anders says to parker that he´s "too old to behave like that" i´m only nodding vigorously, this book is not well written. once again a editor or even a second look would have erased so many mistakes.
i really wanted to love this book because there were so many good ratings and i think the cover is a refreshing choice in the mm genre. but this wasn´t it.

[pabook.1]

Tak toto nebylo moc dobrý…obvykle mám rada age gap/ best friend brother/ roomates trope, ale tohle bylo až moc TWISTED 😏😏

Nejenže ten oldie (Parker) znal Andersona od jeho tak dvou let a byli spolu prostě od tý doby v kontaktu, potom ho furt jakoby odmítá s tim, že je to špatně, že k němu něco cítí, ale zároveň mu furt dává jakoby naději na to, že mezi nima by něco mohlo vzniknout (aka dá mu head, they make out atd.) a potom vzdycky řekne že to je chyba a vyhýbá se mu.

Co bylo fakt těžký číst byly ty sex scenes, kdy voe 40 y.o. smr Parker nazývá Andersenovu hole pussy a oslovuje to jako her atd 👀 hell nah bruh, stejně jako když Anderson mu říká daddy tvl a maj prostě tohle daddy x little good boy play😳

A zároveň to bylo i tak zvláštně napsaný, bylo to i retrospektivní kdy se tam teda odhalovalo jak to maj ted a co se mezi nima stalo v minulosti, ale nepřišlo mně to dostatečně dobře oddělený.