Nature's Housekeeper

by Michael Gurnow, Paris Chrisopoulos (Illustrator)

We've all read books that changed our lives but one college professor gets more than he bargains for when he picks up a dusty, dog-eared copy of the American classic Walden by Henry David Thoreau. Proud postmodern consumer and card-carrying member of the I Hate Nature Club, Michael Gurnow is content in his role as American literature professor at a Midwest college.   Everything changes once he gets done reading Thoreau's masterpiece.  Realizing he has been living a life of quiet desperation, it suddenly occurs to him that even though it's his job to teach tales of other people's adventures, he hasn't lived any of his own. Without a second thought, Gurnow hands in his resignation before driving to the nearest state park and applies to be the wilderness equivalent of a construction worker.  "How hard can trail maintenance be?" he asks himself.  "It's a minimum-wage job." He quickly learns there is a difference between book smarts and common sense.  In this mile-a-minute comedy of errors, Gurnow discovers why it's a bad idea to get into a fistfight with a mudslide, horny hornets are a force to be reckoned with, being able to identify poison ivy is a grossly undervalued skill, and you can't outrun deer--even if you're naked.With a tie-dye cast of characters, Gurnow compresses several hard-won years in the wilderness into four side-splitting seasons.  With his newly minted critical eye toward consumer culture, he reveals the surprisingly complex world of trail maintenance while taking the reader on a guided, philosophic tour of the nature classics. Introduction by The Aldo Leopold Foundation; Afterword by Lawton Grinter, author of I Hike.

215 pages, Kindle Edition

First published May 15, 2015

About the author

Check out Michael Gurnow's personal website, Primitivarum.

Author of the bestselling titles, THE EDWARD SNOWDEN AFFAIR (Blue River Press, 363 pgs.) and NATURE'S HOUSEKEEPER (Blue River Press, 215 pgs., introduction by The Aldo Leopold Foundation; afterword by Lawton Grinter, author of I HIKE), Gurnow is editor of the award-winning blog, THE THOR CHALLENGE.

"A wild and hilarious masterpiece. NATURE'S HOUSEKEEPER is full of wisdom and sudden insights that will take you by surprise." --Daniel Quinn, author of ISHMAEL and THE STORY OF B.

"Intellectually profound yet outrageously funny." --British Mountaineering Council Ambassador Chris Townsend.

Reviews

[Matt · Rating 3 out of 5]

An overall enjoyable read by and about a university professor who decided to give up his lifestyle and become a trail maintenance worker in a Missouri State Park.

His familiarization with the new job, especially problems with plants, animals, and the rigors of the weather, make up the core of the book. The subtitle Eco-Comedy meets the content pretty well. For me personally, it seems, however, that the Eco-thought gets a bit lost under the comedy. Some humor also goes right past me. This may be different for other readers, of course. I like the references to other books throughout the text and especially the appendix with an annotated reading list on nature writing.
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UPDATE 7/30/15: Here's a collection of photos from the author's Facebook page: NATURE'S HOUSEKEEPER IN REAL-TIME: Scenes from the book
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This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported License.

[Timothy Chism · Rating 5 out of 5]

Nature's Housekeeper is a hoot. The author takes the reader down the trails of life; through wood and concrete jungle, alike, seeking answers to profound questions. What makes a person happy? What does an all-elusive Missouri tree-snorer look like? Is there a tree-hugging identity clause in marriage certificates? Are cushy-office jobs, bankrolls and gadgets superior in the happiness market; or, are the parables and adages of old correct in their presumptions that the subtle is beautiful, personal virtue is sublime and public prestige a ruse? These questions, and more, are asked while dealing with armor-piercing wasps, an overzealous sun and Nature, herself, tests a hot-shot literature professor's resolve in exploring Thoreauvian traditions in this dirty nature comedy.
Whether one is looking for a sidesplitting romp through the woods with silly questions asked while tucked-in to bed, or a quintessential proposition in natural philosophy with humorous undertones by a crackling fire - this book is for you.

[Lori Tatar · Rating 5 out of 5]

I laughed my behind off throughout Nature's Housekeeper by Michael Gurnow. I can't tell you how many times I busted up laughing out loud (really), not to mention laughing until I cried a few times. My husband is thoroughly convinced now that he married a crazy person. As funny as the memoir is, it makes a profound statement about our lives and the choices we make, the sacrifices we make without even realizing that we are giving anything up. I'll be digging out my old copy of Thoreau's Walden as the last time I read it, I was in my early 20s. It's time to refresh my awareness further. I have already begun cleaning out my closet between bouts of nearly crippling hilarity.

I have hiked, camped and taken nature walks in some of the best National Parks and National Forests in the country, but never considered the further reaches of making lifestyle changes. I have always returned to my home, my career at the end of a long weekend or vacation. I am an avid gardener and take pride in what I grow, but now question whether it is enough.

I recommend this to literally anybody, whether you are wondering what those who take nature's path really see and gain from such an existence, or you are an expert survivalist. If nothing else, the comedy here is uproarious and everybody needs a good laugh sometime. There is no way anybody can read this and not get something comic out of it.

I give a very solid five stars to this inspiring comedy that I can relate to only too well. Goodreads knew what they were doing when they sent this one along for review. Excellent!!!

[Brian King · Rating 5 out of 5]

Warning: This book I would Rate PG-13 for language. If you are OK with George Carlin's humor you should be ok with Nature's Housekeeper.

We are all connected to nature. It is in our DNA. Every one of us descended from successful hunters: Our ancestors told stories around the glow of firelight under a wondrous sky and their food, water, clothing, fuel, and medicine came directly from the wild. Homo sapiens evolved with nature, not separate from it.

Michael Gurnow’s newest book, Nature’s Housekeeper, reminds us of this fact but far from being a lesson in anthropology, the author provides the reader with a history lesson using—of all things—slapstick comedy.

Much of the developed world has isolated itself from nature: People move about their day never having to leave their plush, climate-controlled homes, cars, parking garages, and offices and never bother to look up to see the sun or the stars. These cloistered individuals refuse to get wet, be it by rain or sweat. They eat food from plastic packaging with no indication that it ever came from the soil and have no clue that their spring water was filtered through the dirt, anymore than they are aware that their clothes are no more than designer plastic. Like their food, water, and clothing, they want their days to be pathogen-free and void of any discomfort.

Gurnow was once one of the “plastic people.” He was a college professor. However, many of these urban dwellers long for some connection to nature—be it a window garden, weekend at the beach, or two weeks a year in a wilderness area. Yet, in the meantime, they take solace in their agoraphobia via rebar-reinforced walls, all cocked, sealed, weather-stripped, and shuttered against any infiltration from nature. The tiniest arthropod that inadvertently makes its way past these synthetic fortifications constitutes a monumental, safety-violating catastrophe which necessitates all-out panic in these people’s lives. Gurnow had such a mindset—that nature is a place that we need to be protected from, an isolated place “out there,” wherein no positive experience could ever possibly derive. His comfort zone ended well before the concrete did. The early chapters of his new comedy Nature’s Housekeeper are full of comical drama in this regard as he—like most of contemporary society—scampers, claws, and scratches himself away from the evil that, in his mind, is the outdoors. The comedic lunacy is, quite simply, that of a privileged debutant who has broken a nail at the grand ball and brings to mind Eva Gabor’s character in Green Acres as she sees the farmhouse for the first time and simply says, “O.k. Let’s go home.”

Yet something triggers a deep-rooted connection to the author-cum-main character’s ancestral past. As director of the Wilderness Skills Institute, I have observed this tipping point in those not at all connected to nature, be it the reflection of the world in a dew droplet clinging to a pine needle, seeing frost on the fur of a bison, or having a doe get close enough that the person could see its individual eyelashes. The particular catalyst is not important. What’s important is that it is there for the person to experience and be irreparably changed by.

Gurnow’s first connection with nature is trademark 21st century: He enters the woods—not with a pair of hiking boots, but a library card. He encounters the wild by way of Henry David Thoreau, whose work was written when most could not be but one-degree of separation from nature for all their daily needs. At first, Gurnow is content to remain in the literary woods but no more. Like a stereotypical white-collar, he doesn’t want to run the risk of breaking a sweat or getting dirty. But his connection to nature continues to build.

Unlike most people content to live vicariously through a character on page or screen, Gurnow’s mounting frustration with academia, cast alongside Thoreau’s calling, becomes too much for him to bear. This is the catalyst which drives him to trade his cardigan sweaters and loafer slip-ons for Gore-Tex and Vibram. He willfully swaps his felt-tip pen and laptop for a Pulaski and crosscut. Before he knows it, his day’s accomplishments go from a stack of graded Blue Book Exams to looking fondly upon a properly constructed switchback of his own design and sweat.

But make no mistake, this is no drama. Nature’s Housekeeper will make you practice your spit-takes time and again. The publisher would have been well-advised to have given the book a waterproof cover. After throwing caution to the wind and resigning his post as professor of American literature to become a trail maintenance worker, Gurnow learns that he overlooked one vital element in his grand plan to join nature: He is without the most fundamental experiences with the wild, trail maintenance tools (or any tools for that matter), or even the slightest ability to engage in physical labor without losing his breath. To say this blue-blood professor hasn’t a grain of wilderness common sense is an understatement (but, then, again, how many do?). His announcement of “How hard could a minimum wage job be?” sets the stage, but it is his ability to laugh which helps chaperon him through to the other side of appreciation for all things wild and free. Nature’s Housekeeper is a hero’s journey that would make Joseph Campbell proud.

By the end of Nature’s Housekeeper, the author—and the reader—walk away more passionate for the wilderness and with a humble gratitude for those who make it easier for the button-down 9-to-5ers to get away every once in a while. As he ruminates over and relays his journeyman voyage from professor to trail maintenance worker, Gurnow truly becomes Nature’s Housekeeper, tiding up and repairing after both the undirected free play of Mother Nature and the ignorance or blatant lack of ethics of park visitors. By the end, not only will you think twice about throwing that Cliff Bar wrapper down on the trail, you’ll find yourself helping Gurnow and his ilk (as well as nature as a whole) by clearing a fallen branch as you trek along, all the while remembering—as Gurnow and Thoreau remind us—that you are merely tiding up your own room.

Reading Nature’s Housekeeper is like sitting around the table sharing drinks and laughing with Thoreau, Herriot, Twain, Abbey, and Lenny Bruce and I sincerely hope Gurnow continues to share his comedic nature sagas with the world.

[Marcia Scurfield · Rating 4 out of 5]

Just found out that I won this book in the First Reads giveaway. Looks like a good read. I always say that I love to get into nature, but do I really get into it that much? Some nature drives me buggy! Like this summer's infestation of cicadas in the backyard?

I finished this book about a week ago and posted my review1 AAuugghh--it's gone!

It was very interesting how Michael went from reading about life and teaching literature to help others do the same to becoming a Trail Maintenance Workerin a state park and living a life he had never dreamed was even possible. The impetus was reading Thoreau's "Walden." And after having several experiences with nature which made him believe that this was not a place where he wanted to spend time, he does a complete 180 to go to work for the park. The book is very funny as Michael has to figure out pretty much everything from scratch.

[Jane · Rating 4 out of 5]

I want to thank Michael Gurnow and Goodreads First Reads Giveaway for my copy of Nature's Housekeeper that I won in the Giveaway.

The description is accurate in that the author delivers his personal experiences when he changes jobs from a college professor to a maintenance trail worker in a state park in Missouri. His inexperience with being in nature attributes to his almost unbelievable interaction with wasps, poison ivy and nettles. His approach to learning his job is to try his best each day and go home and read books, take nature classes and apply his knowledge from the point of view of an English professor.

If you are looking for a funny book written by an English professor turned trail maintenance worker with lots of funny episodes, this is for you. I admire his dedication to sticking with a job that he had little training to preform and even when he goofed it up big time he could laugh with everyone else at himself, which indicates his high moral character.

[Ron Dakron · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thoreau meets Hunter S. Thompson in NATURE'S HOUSEKEEPER, Michael Gurnow's witty addition to the naturalist shelf. Get ready to giggle, guffaw, and LOL all over your new Timberlands: NATURE'S HOUSEKEEPER follows one man's morph from hapless Ranger Ned into sly Deerslayer, from a wasp- and nettle- and pride-stung rube into a mind skinny dipping in the green outlands. And just like that Transcendentalist blue-jay Thoreau, Gurnow teaches you a D.I.Y. survival trick or three while making you laugh your copperheads off.

[Sflauchle · Rating 3 out of 5]

Interesting change in career, learn about nature and trail maintenance overview of a lot of nature literature,
Honestly thought the book could have made a great short story and not lost much
First 50 pages dedicated to previously unsuccessful accounts with nature were boring, disappointing ending
1-2 funny stories and few well stated observations " For better or for worse not an either or situation", etc...
Did not find it particularly well written pictures would have enhanced story
Hard to get - had to order book from amazon.

[Sandra Newsome · Rating 5 out of 5]

Talk a walk in the woods with Nature’s Housekeeper and be prepared to laugh out loud. The shenanigans in this eco-comedy will make it a book that is hard to put down. As for me, a girl raised in the country, I became a city girl with time. This book renewed my sense of adventure within nature and forced me to consider how long of a hike I can take without a meltdown. Filled with humor, crazy antics, sarcasm and hi-jinx, you will not be disappointed.

[Brianne Helaudais · Rating 4 out of 5]

Book received for free from GoodReads First Reads

This book was a lot of fun. The author was really relatable and had a tongue-in-cheek tone throughout the whole book. Even when I wasn't laughing out loud about his "adventures", I was smiling. I was very disappointed when I realized I had turned the last page.

[Rawan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Got this through First Reads Giveaway.

This was a great book to read. Definitely made me want to experience a hiking trip in one of the state parks. Also made me think out of the box about trail maintenance workers and appreciate them. Made me want to read Walden too, it's kind of nice to go out of daily routines and experience the exquisite every now and then :)

[Alice · Rating 5 out of 5]

I received this book for free through Goodreads First Reads . I enjoyed reading this book .I will be looking for more books from the author in the future , Great book !!

[Charlene Hatfield · Rating 5 out of 5]

extremely funny.....yet really creates desire to head to the trails and experience it all for one's self.

[Cheryl · Rating 3 out of 5]

entertaining

[Janette Mcmahon · Rating 3 out of 5]

A funny enjoyable read of one man's beginning adventures into becoming an outdoor person.

[Joanne Howard · Rating 4 out of 5]

Gurnow is definitely a talented author with creative jokes and descriptions that got genuine laughs from me. But this book also has a solid philosophical side, debating preservation vs conservation and why humans should care in general about the environment. People who are already nature lovers will have a tough time with the first half of this book though, as I often found myself shaking my head how someone could be so ignorant about nature. But Gurnow comes around, and believe it or not I found his scenes about trail maintenance interesting.

At first I was put off by how the jokes were a mile a minute in the first part of the book, thinking it could use a bit more restraint, but then I thought, why not make the most of every sentence? It definitely made for an enjoyable and memorable read.

[John · Rating 4 out of 5]

Was well worth the read and nice and funny to boot.