I, Tim: Memoirs of a Cook on a Moon-Sized Planet-Vaporizing Space Battlestation

by Jack Teng

What happens behind the scenes in the Star Wars universe? ...And should we trust those supposed heroes and their (self-)inflated claims? "I, Tim" takes place in a working-class, LGBTQ-friendly parody version of the Star Wars universe; it's a behind-the-scenes look at the efforts (such as the cooking) that make the heroics possible.


"I, Tim" follows the story of Tim, a line cook and survivor of the destruction of the Deeeath Star and his struggles with PTSD. After surviving the destruction of the Deeeath Star, Tim's adventures begin as soon as he has a bit of an incident with Dorth Vadah in the cafeteria, and is surprisingly not executed but sent to a therapy center on Tattoo-ine. There, he is recruited into a cult by a beautiful, pastry-haired woman named Leah and becomes converted/seduced as a "Powaah Witness." At the same time, his pilot friend Mike is also converted/seduced by a scruffy black-vested guy named Haan.


So is it happy-ever-after for Tim? Is the Powaah with him now? Of course not. Lord Vadah and the Empire has other plans for him, not to mention Jubba's slave pits, where he'll be forced to make cheap consumer goods!

ebook

First published April 27, 2015

About the author

Born in Montreal, Canada, Jack later moved to the West Coast (Vancouver) to do a doctoral degree that involved collecting many thousand ticks in the Okanagan Valley. He wasn't thrilled about the ticks either. Later, he dabbled in small-scale organic farming for a few years, during which he simultaneously developed an aversion to kale and fancy salad mixes, as well as the realization that farming wasn't all that lucrative. He now lives with his wife in Boulder, Colorado.

My website is here: mybossisadroid.com
You can find my Facebook page here: www.facebook.com/JackTengAuthor
My twitter feed is based on a working class Star Wars parody I'm trying to get published. You can find it @MyBossIsADroid