“A man once summed up the signs of good character by saying, ‘It is to be abundantly modest, to avoid harming others, to be righteous, truthful in speech, and of little discourse; it is to do many things and slip up infrequently, to avoid excess, to be loyal, friendly, dignified, patient, grateful, satisfied, forbearing, charitable, chaste and pitying; and not to curse or to insult people. or to backbite or slander them, and to avoid hastiness, hatred, meanness, and jealousy; to be cheerful and kind, to love [good] and hate [evil] for the sake of God, to be well-pleased with Him and to be angry for His sake. Such is the man of good character’.”
“Yusuf ibn Asbāt said, 'Good character has ten signs: reluctance to argue, fairness, never hoping for slips in others, looking for a charitable interpretation of other people's misdeeds, finding excuses for them, tolerating the harm they do to one, blaming oneself, knowing one's own faults and not those of others, meeting young and old alike with a cheerful face, and speaking kindly to those who are superior or more humble than oneself’.”
“If he sees that his is a predominantly irascible disposition he should oblige him always to be gentle and quiet, and should make him serve and keep the company of an ill-mannered in order that he might train his soul to tolerate him. One of the Sufis habituated his soul to mildness and freed himself from excessive anger by hiring a man to insult him in public: he
himself to be forbearing and to suppress his anger, continuing in this way until his nature became characterised by proverbial gentleness.”
"What is required is the establishment of an equilibrium between 'grudgingness' and 'prodigality', so that one remains in the centre and at the greatest possible distance from the two extremes. Should you wish to determine where this middle point lies, then consider the action which results necessarily from the blameworthy trait: if it is easier and more pleasurable for you than its opposite, then that trait is predominant in your case. For instance: should you find the acquisition and retention of money easier and more enjoyable than giving it to those who may justly receive it, then you should know that avarice is a dominant characteristic in you, and you must constantly give until such time as giving to a undeserving recipient becomes easier and more enjoyable than to withhold it legitimately, at which time prodigality will have assumed the dominant place. Then return to the practice of withholding your wealth, and constantly watch over your soul and draw inferences about your character from the evidence of what deeds it finds easy and which ones hard, until the connection between your heart and money is broken, and you incline neither towards giving it nor withholding it, since it has become as water to you, so that when you give or withhold it you do so for a needful purpose, and so that giving your money does not seem preferable to you than its retention."