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301 pages, Paperback
Published June 24, 2026
I’m inanimate. I’m a toy. I’m plastic. I’m silicone with two holes.
There’s a switch in me that gets very quiet sometimes. Everything slows down, goes flat, and I can just exist in that space for hours.
There’s too much to catalog. Every nerve in my body is occupied. Everything is being used. Nothing left over. My brain, which runs all the time, goes quiet to anything else other than this. And I just feel. The hands, and the mouths, and the heat, and the fullness.
Reid uses the doll differently from the rest of them. I noticed that on the first day when he wrecked my ass, and made me feel between heaven and hell. It’s not like I’ve got a spreadsheet tracking the actual differences—I’m not that unhinged—but when the rhythm changes, you feel it. Reid’s style registers even when my brain is powered down. He takes his time. That’s the simplest way to put it. Walker uses me like equipment, efficient and thorough. Finn uses me like something that’s just there and convenient, which is the point. Grant goes at it rough, which, fair, that’s just Grant. Miles is slow and considerate, but in a methodical way (unless he’s high). Reid is slow because he’s paying attention.
That’s what I am. A set of holes and a dick that happens to be attached to a body. It’s always a turn-on getting praised for being such a good little nothing.
His lips seal over the spot instantly, sucking the lobe into his mouth while his tongue flicks the sensitive skin behind it. My brain whites out for a second.
"Fuck," I mutter fisting the sheets.
It's weird having the freedom to move when one of the guys is messing with me. Usually, I'd be sprawled out, letting them manhandle me however they want. But right now, I'm just Kit-wired and twitchy, keeping my hands to myself so I don't look like some desperate virgin.
"Good?"
I nod, or try to. My body's gone lax, pliant in a way that's not doll-mode, just fucking boneless from the way Reid's touching me.
"Yeah," I say. "S'just weird. Being... awake for it."
"You like it?"
"Yeah."
