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Spinstered #1
Spinstered: Surviving Singleness After 40
“Why can’t I just be single and happy and stop wanting more?”
The question haunted Sharyn Kopf until a friend responded: “You’re grieving something you’ve lost. It’s okay to be sad.”
Funny how one moment can change a person’s perspective. With those ten words, this friend gave a name to Sharyn’s struggles as a single woman: Grief.
We all understand the sorrow of loss. But grieving singleness? Doesn’t that go against the biblical command to “be content”? Is it possible to enjoy the gifts of an unmarried life and still long for a husband and family of one’s own?
Using the seven stages of grief—denial, disbelief, bargaining, guilt, anger, depression, and hope—along with Scripture and her own experiences, Sharyn will walk with you through your own grief process. Within these pages, we’ll take a look at:
• How God feels about our singleness
• The longing for children
• Our tendency to fluctuate between believing we’re too picky and worrying we’re not good enough to attract a man
• Bargaining our way into and out of relationships
• How to deal with regret
• The stress of financial difficulties like job loss, low income, and handling it all on your own
• What long-term singleness does to our self-esteem
• How to respond to single women clichés and myths
And more. Plus, there’s a special section specifically written to our married friends and family members.
You are not alone. It’s okay to be sad. Ironically, it’s only in grieving what you’ve lost that you can find healing and hope for your future, with or without a wedding ring. Because to mourn anything without hope is to mourn without God.
Spinstered we may be … but we are not alone.
The question haunted Sharyn Kopf until a friend responded: “You’re grieving something you’ve lost. It’s okay to be sad.”
Funny how one moment can change a person’s perspective. With those ten words, this friend gave a name to Sharyn’s struggles as a single woman: Grief.
We all understand the sorrow of loss. But grieving singleness? Doesn’t that go against the biblical command to “be content”? Is it possible to enjoy the gifts of an unmarried life and still long for a husband and family of one’s own?
Using the seven stages of grief—denial, disbelief, bargaining, guilt, anger, depression, and hope—along with Scripture and her own experiences, Sharyn will walk with you through your own grief process. Within these pages, we’ll take a look at:
• How God feels about our singleness
• The longing for children
• Our tendency to fluctuate between believing we’re too picky and worrying we’re not good enough to attract a man
• Bargaining our way into and out of relationships
• How to deal with regret
• The stress of financial difficulties like job loss, low income, and handling it all on your own
• What long-term singleness does to our self-esteem
• How to respond to single women clichés and myths
And more. Plus, there’s a special section specifically written to our married friends and family members.
You are not alone. It’s okay to be sad. Ironically, it’s only in grieving what you’ve lost that you can find healing and hope for your future, with or without a wedding ring. Because to mourn anything without hope is to mourn without God.
Spinstered we may be … but we are not alone.
171 pages, Kindle Edition
First published August 27, 2014
9 people are currently reading
25 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 13 of 13 reviews
February 12, 2024
I enjoyed this story very much, because the characters were very real and struggling with honest emotions.
I admit I was disappointed when
I admit I was disappointed when
did-not-finish
February 4, 2020I wanted to love this book, really I did, but by the half-way point, I cared nothing about any of the characters, in fact, I was starting to dislike them. I decided this book was not for me. I found all three of the main women to be boy-crazy, sad, with faith that didn't seem to be impacting their lives except for the fact that they thought purity was important and they go to church. It seems to give them no hope, or comfort, and every time something doesn't go their way, they stop praying.
Content: This book is for girls, not guys. Some of the content would have been fine but piled on top of each other, it started to detract from the story.
Content: This book is for girls, not guys. Some of the content would have been fine but piled on top of each other, it started to detract from the story.
January 22, 2021
Best fiction book on singleness that gives true hope
I feel like this this book was made for me. It spoke so much to my life, the many years of trying to do everything right, the hoping, the praying, and at times the anger I would have that God didn’t care to answer my prayers. I also related to many of the characters, as different steps in my journey to find love. In the end, everything I was searching for was something I already had. Although I am in a happy loving relationship with a man now, I feel like some of my best days were when I had only the love of my savior Jesus Christ. He is enough.
I feel like this this book was made for me. It spoke so much to my life, the many years of trying to do everything right, the hoping, the praying, and at times the anger I would have that God didn’t care to answer my prayers. I also related to many of the characters, as different steps in my journey to find love. In the end, everything I was searching for was something I already had. Although I am in a happy loving relationship with a man now, I feel like some of my best days were when I had only the love of my savior Jesus Christ. He is enough.
March 1, 2018
Sharon is an excellent writer and tackles an important issue in her debut novel (the first of a trilogy). The book follows three single women each struggling with their singleness and each believing different lies and trying to solve their situation.
A realistic book full of real emotion.
A realistic book full of real emotion.
August 21, 2019
Best book ever!!!
Wow, this woman was inside my head the entire time. I LOVE this book. She expressed EVERY thought, doubt, and anything else you can imagine that I have had from the past 10 years.
Wow, this woman was inside my head the entire time. I LOVE this book. She expressed EVERY thought, doubt, and anything else you can imagine that I have had from the past 10 years.
August 16, 2019
Fun story about three women that were not under 20. I really enjoyed it and am looking forward to reading the next books in the series.
May 21, 2020
This is a well-written book that provides many insights into the minds of a group of single Christian women. It is a very charming book that I enjoyed reading a lot.
January 14, 2015
I am finding that I am reading more and more books that are written in the first person POV. I am not sure if I happen to be picking these, or if more are being written, but I am finding they are written so well! Spinstered tackled not only one person in first-person, but THREE characters! I was able to identify in different ways with every main character and that always makes more a more enjoyable read.
I would categorize Spinstered as more realistic and just plain more "real" than most Christian fiction. It doesn't sugar-coat or ignore issues and it isn't all wrapped-up with a bow at the end like most books. This is one reason why I love this book so much. As a single woman, it can get frustrating reading all stories that end happily-ever-after while real life isn't like that. At least mine isn't. I'm not complaining either! I have a good life, I just am single.
Spinstered made me giggle and laugh-out-loud many times throughout! I had so much fun with Catie, Uli and Jolene! It got more serious towards the end, but still had comical moments or thoughts that lightened the mood.
The Christian messages in this book are what makes it so great. It deals with women's emotions and insecurities with Biblical truths. I would say this book is geared to women, especially those who have ever or are dealing with "spinster" type emotions and struggles. It has a component of romance, but is not really a romance book.
The last book I read this compulsively was Dr. Mr. Knightley by Katherine Reay about a year ago and that made my "favorites of 2014" list, so Spinstered is looking good for a top spot in 2015.
I give Spinstered 5 out of 5 stars. It touched my heart and I couldn't put it down. I highly recommend this, especially single women!
I received a digital form of this book in exchange for my honest review.
November 7, 2017
This was a surprisingly engaging read—and I say that not so much because I was expecting not to enjoy the book, as because I wondered how much I would identify with three women searching for hope (and maybe love) amidst their singleness. As it turned out, I was engaged from the first sentence. First person present tense narrative has never been my favourite, but these characters had such ‘real’ voices that I fell naturally into the story and, despite its sometimes melancholy and troubled characters, thoroughly enjoyed the read.
Catie, Jolene, and Uli share the narrative role fairly evenly throughout the novel (in alternating chapters) but in terms of character growth, Catie is the primary focus in this first novel in the Spinstered series. She’s not literature’s most upbeat character, but there was an honesty and vulnerability to her character that drew me in just the same. And although her situation was different to mine, her struggles were easy to relate to: Where do we look for hope when the rug gets pulled out from under us? Who do we look to for happiness, fulfilment, and a sense of worth?
Jolene’s and Uli’s struggles with singleness both look different to Catie’s, and there is much yet to come in their journeys, but I found that as each new chapter came and moved between the narrators, I was eager to pick up where they had last left off. Not only that, but the story maintained a sense of continuity even while it switched between the women's points-of-view.
While it is obvious that there is more to come in these women’s stories, I didn’t feel as though I had been left hanging at the end of the novel. This was a great read, and I look forward to continuing with these women in the rest of the series.
I received a copy of this novel from the author. This has not influenced the content of my review.
Catie, Jolene, and Uli share the narrative role fairly evenly throughout the novel (in alternating chapters) but in terms of character growth, Catie is the primary focus in this first novel in the Spinstered series. She’s not literature’s most upbeat character, but there was an honesty and vulnerability to her character that drew me in just the same. And although her situation was different to mine, her struggles were easy to relate to: Where do we look for hope when the rug gets pulled out from under us? Who do we look to for happiness, fulfilment, and a sense of worth?
Jolene’s and Uli’s struggles with singleness both look different to Catie’s, and there is much yet to come in their journeys, but I found that as each new chapter came and moved between the narrators, I was eager to pick up where they had last left off. Not only that, but the story maintained a sense of continuity even while it switched between the women's points-of-view.
While it is obvious that there is more to come in these women’s stories, I didn’t feel as though I had been left hanging at the end of the novel. This was a great read, and I look forward to continuing with these women in the rest of the series.
I received a copy of this novel from the author. This has not influenced the content of my review.
September 9, 2016
This was a frustrating book to read – not because it was badly written, but because I think the author has a firm grasp on the struggles of Christian singles and it’s a somewhat depressing state. Spinstered looks at the lives of three singles – Catie (46), Uli (39), and Jolene (I don’t remember her exact age, but she’s mid- to late-30s). Each woman has her own hang-ups as she struggles to justify her faith with her later-in-life singleness.
I struggled to read this book because it broke my heart to know that there are women (and probably men) out there who have the same misunderstanding of God, marriage, and what it means to be happy. I couldn’t put this book down, though, because their stories really grabbed my attention. As a fan of the HEA (happily-ever-after) I would have enjoyed a slightly different ending, but I was also able to rejoice with some of the characters as they finally heard from God. (I’m trying to be very careful about what I say so I don’t spoil the ending!)
Overall, I liked this book. Though it deals with romantic relationships, it’s really not a romance novel – it’s more of a mid-life coming-of-age story. If you’re looking for a Hallmark movie, this isn’t for you. If you’re looking for a more realistic look at the heart of a single Christian female, I would encourage you to pick this up.
*I received a free copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
I struggled to read this book because it broke my heart to know that there are women (and probably men) out there who have the same misunderstanding of God, marriage, and what it means to be happy. I couldn’t put this book down, though, because their stories really grabbed my attention. As a fan of the HEA (happily-ever-after) I would have enjoyed a slightly different ending, but I was also able to rejoice with some of the characters as they finally heard from God. (I’m trying to be very careful about what I say so I don’t spoil the ending!)
Overall, I liked this book. Though it deals with romantic relationships, it’s really not a romance novel – it’s more of a mid-life coming-of-age story. If you’re looking for a Hallmark movie, this isn’t for you. If you’re looking for a more realistic look at the heart of a single Christian female, I would encourage you to pick this up.
*I received a free copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
January 10, 2015
Spinstered the Novel by Sharyn Kopf is the story of three single women , past the age of forty.that depicts their struggles and their walk with the Lord.
It was a nice novel, sad at times, that shows us that we need to place God first in our lives.
A copy of this book was given in exchange for an honest review.
It was a nice novel, sad at times, that shows us that we need to place God first in our lives.
A copy of this book was given in exchange for an honest review.
January 16, 2015
I enjoyed learning about these friends and their lives. I really enjoyed learning about Catie but wish things ended for her better. I'm glad she forgave at the end but the ending felt a bit abrupt to me.
I was given a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
I was given a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
November 26, 2014
What a great read about so many of the issues Christian women face. Catie is my favorite character because she faces her grief with courage (and family!). I'm hoping for a sequel!
Displaying 1 - 13 of 13 reviews