Ugly Dumpling: A Memoir

by Elaine Hsieh Yu

For readers of Beautiful Country by Qian Julie Wang and The Glass Castle by Jeanette Walls, an Asian American coming-of-age story about growing up in poverty with a mother living with mental health issues, and about the redemptive power of love.

When Elaine Hsieh Yu arrives in Hawai‘i from Hong Kong at the age of four, her family’s hopes for stability quickly unravel. Her father, rigid and demanding, drifts in and out of her life. Her mother, loving but volatile, is at times neglectful. From an early age, Elaine understands that adults are not always able to protect or provide.

Ugly Dumpling follows Elaine’s journey from growing up poor, Asian, and largely invisible in Honolulu and East Los Angeles to raising her children in Silicon Valley. She shares vivid memories of family, survival, and love, tracing a childhood shaped by public assistance and undiagnosed illness into an adult life spent trying to give her children everything she never had.

Honest, emotional, and at times funny, Elaine’s story touches on relationships across three generations, revealing how the past shapes us but doesn’t have to define us, and how the unexpected paths and broken pieces can become something whole and beautiful.

Genres: Memoir, Mental Health, Nonfiction, Biography

Kindle Edition

Expected publication March 16, 2027

About the author

Elaine Hsieh Yu was born in Hong Kong and grew up in Hawaiʻi and Southern California. She went on to build a career in Silicon Valley after graduating from Stanford University with degrees in Electrical Engineering. She wrote her debut memoir, Ugly Dumpling, to shine a light on mental health and intergenerational healing within Asian American families. She currently lives in the San Francisco Bay Area with her husband, where they raised their two children, while continuing to care for her elderly mother. As an empty nester, she devotes her time outside her tech job at Apple to writing, keeping her houseplants alive, and socializing with friends, sometimes talking and laughing a little too loudly.

Reviews

[Caz]

Ugly Dumpling is a very honest and personal memoir, covering family, poverty, immigration, mental health, identity and growing up between different cultures. Elaine shares her journey from being a child whose family moved from Hong Kong to Hawai‘i, through a difficult childhood and complicated family relationships, and into her adult life.

What stood out to me most was how open Elaine is about her past. There are some really tough parts, especially when it comes to her parents and her mother’s mental health, and you can see how much those experiences affected her as she grew up. But it isn’t all sadness. There are funny and warm moments too, which I really liked and made the story feel more real.

I also found myself thinking about how much we carry with us from childhood, even when we think we’ve moved on. Elaine’s determination to build a different life for herself and her own family really came through, and I liked seeing how her experiences shaped the person she became.

The writing is easy to follow and very conversational. It felt like Elaine was simply sitting down and telling me her story rather than trying to make everything sound perfect, and I think that worked really well for a memoir. It made the more emotional parts feel even more genuine.

A really interesting, emotional and honest memoir about family, finding your own way and learning to understand where you came from. I’m glad I had the chance to read it.

Thank you NetGalley, Victory Editing NetGalley Co-op and the author Elaine Hsieh Yu for this ARC in exchange for my honest review.

[Brenda (jadore_2read)]

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
“I wasn’t the kind of kid people stayed for.”
✨
I always rate memoirs 5 stars. It is such a vulnerable experience to go through twice for the author. And then sharing it with the world has to be an emotional roller coaster.
The cover is beautiful (kintsugi). The mended glass symbolizes healing, beauty in imperfections, mending broken areas and resilience. It represents the memoir perfectly.
🥟 I found myself in your shoes at times. And it serves as a reminder that we all have stories and it cost nothing to treat people with kindness. And we’re all just together floating on a giant rock. This book is a warm hug to those who’ve never felt enough despite pouring from an empty cup.

Ugly Dumpling by Elaine Hsieh Yu
✨Asian American coming-of-age
✨Family Trauma/Mental Health
✨Poverty/Redemption
✨out March 16, 2027

Thank you, NetGalley for the advanced copy.

[Kylie Klodzinski]

I was graciously given an advanced reader copy of Ugly Dumpling by Elaine Hsieh Yu through NetGalley, and I truly did not expect to become this invested in her life. By the time she reached college, I was basically her number one fan and wanted to be her friend.

This memoir is raw in the best way. Elaine doesn’t shy away from showing the ugly alongside the beautiful. We follow her from a little girl growing up in poverty, often having to be far more independent and strong than any child should have to be, through so many different stages of her life.

One of the things that struck me most was just how incredibly smart and naturally gifted she was. Whether it was coding, creating her own game, music, or something entirely new, she seemed to pick up skills so easily. And yet, time and again, circumstances outside of her control interrupted those opportunities. It was heartbreaking to see so much potential collide with poverty, instability, and racism.

I also couldn’t stop thinking about the way poverty could be both visible and completely invisible. There were moments when Elaine obviously stood apart from the children around her because of what she didn’t have. At other times, she could have looked like any other girl walking through school while no one around her had any idea what was waiting for her at home. It was such a reminder that we really don’t know what someone is carrying just by looking at them.

And somewhere along the way, I stopped simply feeling for Elaine and started genuinely rooting for her. I wanted every opportunity for this little girl. Every win felt exciting, and every loss felt personal.

Also, a word of advice: don’t read Chapter 29 in public. I made that mistake. Sob central.

What ultimately made me love this memoir so much was getting to follow such a large span of Elaine’s life. Things come full circle in ways that allow her—and us—to look back at her childhood with an understanding she couldn’t possibly have had while she was living it. Relationships become more complicated, more tender, and more human. Sometimes the people who fail us can also love us, and sometimes it takes years to understand the full story.

Ugly Dumpling is exactly that: the ugly and the beautiful, side by side. It’s about poverty, racism, family, resilience, opportunity, and the things we understand differently once we’re old enough to look back.

I absolutely loved it—and after spending all these pages with Elaine, I’m still rooting for her.

Thank you to NetGalley for providing me with an advance reader copy in exchange for my honest review. Ugly Dumpling is currently expected to publish in March 2027.

[Sandra Koka (pielasit_sirdi)]

‘’My mom love wasn’t always calm or easy, or perfectly expressed. But it was constant.’’ ( p.124)

Looking for a better life, a family from Hong Kong moves to Hawaii, but this little dream of happiness quickly collapses when the father abandons the family. Despite Elaine's mother speaking English fluently, her mental health struggles prevent her from keeping a stable job, and caring for three children with only state assistance leaves her living in constant worry and anxiety about the next day. However, she refuses to give up and return to her homeland.

Thus begins Elaine's memoir of growing up in poverty and family bonds that stretch far beyond physical borders.
Despite all the emotional struggles and hardships, the author manages to look at things someplace with irony. If there is an ugly duckling, then why not a slightly modified version an "ugly dumpling," closely tied to Chinese culture and culinary traditions. Everyday problems and the struggle for basic survival stand out most brightly when there is something to compare them to. Often, the empathy and kindness of friends are what reveal just how different lives can be.

On multiple layers, the reader can see how difficult it is to grow up between completely different cultures, how massive the gap is between China and the US, and how unaccepting and simultaneously tearing apart this desire is on one hand, to fit in somewhere, and on the other, to integrate. Not to stand out, to be like everyone else, while facing immense pressure from the family to achieve everything the parents could not. This is also a story about family ties, self-sacrifice, mental health, and generational trauma.

The story is filled with plenty of warmth and kindness from people around them, along with the ability to adapt to any circumstances. At the same time, the protagonist tries to act more mature than her age requires, because despite being the youngest in the family, she often acts as her mother's anchor, navigating through everyday problems.

3.8 stars


Thank you to NetGalley for sharing this mystery’s digital reviewer copy with me in exchange for my honest thoughts.



LV

Meklējot labāku dzīvi, ģimene no Hong Kongas pārceļas uz Hawaii, taču ātri vien šis laimes namiņš sabrūk, kad tēvs pamet ģimeni. Neskatoties uz to, ka Elaines māte lieliski prot angļu valodu, viņas mentālās veselības problēmas neļauj viņai paturēt stabilu darbu un rūpes par trim bērniem, ar vienīgo atbalstu no valsts, liek viņai dzīvot nepārtrauktās rūpēs un raizēs par nākamo dienu. Tomēr padoties un atgriezties savā dzimtenē viņa atsakās. Tā sākas Elaine atmiņu stāsts par dzīvošanu nabadzībā un ģimenes saitēm, kas sniedzas tālāk par fiziskajām robežām. Un mīlestību, lai arī kāda tā nebūtu.

Autore, par spīti visiem emocionālajiem pārdzīvojumiem un problēmām, spēj uz lietām paraudzīties dažkārt arī ironiski. Ja reiz ir neglītais pīlēns, tad, kāpēc ne drusku pamainīta versija- neglītais pelmenis, kas cieši saistīts ar Ķīnas kultūri un kulināriju. Ikdienas problēmas un cīņa par vienkāršu izdzīvošanu, visspilgtāk parādās brīžos, kad ir ar ko salīdzināt. Bieži vien draudzeņu iejūtība un labsirdība, ir tā, kas parāda, cik atšķirīgas var būt dzīves.

Vairākos slāņos lasītājs var ieraudzīt, cik sarežģīti ir izaugt starp pilnīgi dažādām kultūrām, cik milzu plaisa ir starp Ķīnu un ASv, cik nepieņemoša, reizē uz pusēm plēsoša ir šī vēlme, no vienas puses kaut kur iederēties, no otras saglabāt savu izcelsmi. Neizlekt, būt kā visiem pārējiem un reizē milzu spiediens no ģimenes sasniegt visu to, ko vecākiem neizdevās. Šis ir stāsts arī par ģimenes saitēm, ziedošanos, mentālo veselību un paaudžu traumām.

Stāstā ir daudz sirsnības un līdzcilvēku labsirdība. Spēja adaptēties jebkuros apstākļos, reizē varone cenšas būt vairāk pieaugusi, nekā no viņas vecuma bērniem prasa, jo bieži vien, neskatoties uz to, ka viņa ir jaunākā ģimenē, viņa ir kā mammas balsts, kas lavierē starp ikdienas problēmām.

3.8 zvaigznes

[Sana]

Ugly Dumpling is a narrative memoir, tracing Elaine Hsieh Yu's life from childhood to parenthood. The book explores her experiences of poverty and racism as a first-generation immigrant, and in particular, how those factors influenced but did not define her. The book has a powerful message: social disadvantages can be overcome with hard work.

The first two acts of this book (pre-Stanford and Stanford) were a joy to read. The narrative style made the memoir throughly engaging and vivid, and my heart went out to young Elaine. The simple writing added to young Elaine's childish innocence and naivety, and her sense of unfairness at her circumstances. It also made the happy moments pop off the page with purity, as happiness often is in childhood.

After the first two acts, I was waiting for the big emotional pay-off in the final act (post-Stanford). However, the same writing style which was such a powerful tool in the first part of the book was a let down in the second part. The pacing was rushed exactly when the moment needed to be savoured – this stability is what Elaine worked for her whole life, this is what the reader has been waiting for the whole book! I also felt that the simple writing style flattened a lot of the emotion and nuance, which was especially needed to for the resolution of Elaine's relationship with each of her parents.

Finally, let me just say how much I love the cover and title of this book. They perfectly capture the feeling of not-belonging that immigrants and their children generally experience, belonging neither here nor there, and one that I felt Elaine did justice to beautifully, especially with the inclusion of her Taiwan trip as a teenager.

All in all, this was an enjoyable read and it made me think deeply about several important issues. Elaine's story is incredibly inspiring, so I would recommend picking it up if you can.

Thank you for the advanced copy, Elaine Yu, Victory Editing NetGalley Co-Op and NetGalley.

[012_cece]

this starts with Elaine arriving in Hawai’i from Hong Kong when she was four years old, and from there, we follow her childhood and eventually her adult life. her childhood was not an easy one. there’s poverty, racism, an unstable home, a father who drifts in and out, and a mother dealing with untreated mental illness.

Ugly Dumpling is a deeply personal memoir, but it also feels universal in the way it explores identity, family, belonging, shame, mental health, generational trauma and the complicated process of learning to accept yourself.

one of the things that made the memoir stand out for me in the first section of the book was how it felt like you are truly reading through the voice of a 4yr. old child. it’s so interesting to be able to have a glimpse of what’s going on in the mind of a kid, the inner voices, and the confusion only adults understand. reading this also feels like i am watching a period Chinese drama, esp in the part where her grandfather cannot bear a son, so he had a second wife and married a servant.

i also loved how the second half and towards the end of the book you get to understand why the title is Ugly Dumpling.

“Even the misshapen dumplings that had fallen apart found their place here, becoming perfect potstickers, crispy and delicious. I looked around at three generations sitting there-held together by flour, laughter, and love-and realized the messy parts of our lives were what had made us whole. The unexpected paths, the broken pieces, even the ugly dumplings had turned into something golden.”

i love how this passage aligns with the title and book cover perfectly!

such a lovely memoir that reminds us that sometimes… the pieces we thought were broken beyond repair are the very ones that become golden, much like kintsugi on a broken plate on the cover!

-
grateful for the opportunity to read the advance copy of the book! 🤍

[Priscilla]

Ever read a rollercoaster ride of a book that lingers even after it ends? I felt that after reading #UglyDumpling, a memoir where an Asian American woman retraces her journey from growing up in poverty with a mentally ill mother. ⁣
⁣
Even though its main theme centers around a mother-daughter relationship, I found Ugly Dumpling relatable to readers from all walks of life. Author Elaine Hsieh Yu writes the early chapters through the lens of her four-year-old self. You experience her early memories from racism to family conflicts and survival. Each moment leaves its scars. The toughest part is unquestionably reading about Yu’s mother. It tires the soul when one lives with a volatile family member, yet, Yu never once villainizes her mother. Instead, she acknowledges the trauma her mother went through with deep empathy and compassion. Her unwavering love in a journey that could’ve been bleak and harrowing stirs you in the heart.⁣
⁣
As Yu grows older, her voice matures — and so does her reflection. I found her account of motherhood particularly refreshing. Being a parent is a tightrope to walk. Yu candidly shares her struggles being supportive while staying cautious of her daughter's future. ⁣
⁣
“𝘗𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘢𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘩𝘢𝘥 𝘢𝘭𝘸𝘢𝘺𝘴 𝘣𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘮𝘺 𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘨𝘵𝘩. 𝘉𝘶𝘵 𝘭𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘭𝘺, 𝘪𝘵 𝘧𝘦𝘭𝘵 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘦𝘳𝘷𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯, 𝘪𝘵𝘴 𝘥𝘢𝘳𝘬𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘸𝘪𝘯. 𝘐 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘑𝘰𝘢𝘯𝘯𝘢 𝘵𝘰 𝘭𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘰𝘸𝘯 𝘥𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘮𝘴. 𝘐 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘥𝘪𝘥. 𝘉𝘶𝘵 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘢𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘺, 𝘐’𝘥 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘱𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘮𝘺 𝘰𝘸𝘯 𝘶𝘯𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘪𝘴𝘩𝘦𝘥 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘺 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘰 𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘴. 𝘈𝘯𝘥 𝘪𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘤𝘰𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘶𝘴.”⁣
⁣
Covering 50 years of her life, Ugly Dumpling is never starry-eyed or self-indulgent. Rather, it’s a heartfelt personal account that shows, young or old, life is a squiggly line of challenges — and how it can be gratifying and beautiful even in the midst of grim moments. ⁣💛

[Annabel]

Thank you to NetGalley and Resolve Editions for this ARC. All opinions are my own.

I was drawn to this book after reading the blurb and being Chinese myself. Elaine’s story is an incredibly emotional one and I found myself shedding tears throughout.

Although I am a third generation immigrant with my grandparents and mum moving to the UK as refugees and my dad moving from Hong Kong in his teens, there was still so much I could relate to.

The racist comments she experienced in her childhood were the same that I had also experienced in the 90s and 00s. I cried for Elaine and my younger self.

What was truly beautiful in Elaine’s memoir was how everything came back full circle for her. Through all the adversity she faced, she overcame so much hardship to be able to protect and support her family. It was so wonderful to see and truly inspiring.

[Katie Gates]

This memoir drew me in from the very beginning, and I became invested in Elaine Hsieh Yu’s story throughout the entire book. She writes about her experience as a child immigrant to the United States, as well as her family and personal struggles with poverty, racial discrimination, and mental illness. She writes honestly, but tenderly, and presents a raw and personal account of what she faced growing up. This memoir was beautiful and thought-provoking, and the writer brings such an important perspective to readers. I appreciated her style and insight, as well as her handling of difficult topics. I would whole-heartedly recommend this to anyone!

[Bonnie Mills]

“The rice on our kitchen carpet was moving.” The opening eight-word sentence of Ugly Dumpling hooked me instantly. Elaine Hsieh Yu's treasure of a memoir — beautiful, honest, and moving. Her remarkable recall draws you in completely as she navigates a chaotic childhood through a lens of grace, innocence, and hope. Even amidst the instability, she always knew she was loved — evidenced by her mother's tender nickname, "treasure of my heart daughter." This book is a tender reminder of the ripple effect of kindness, the power of words and strength of resilience. If you loved The Glass Castle, you will love this memoir.

[Verity Thornhill]

I really enjoyed Elaine's memoir - her writing style transported me to be sitting by her side throughout her life. It was interesting and absorbing and by the end it felt like I was a friend who she had been talking to.

[Michelle]

Elaine's debut memoir is an honest, vulnerable and authentic reflection on what it means to find one's place in the world, literally and metaphorically. While her journey from Hong Kong to Hawaii to Los Angeles and finally, Silicon Valley is both a common one and uniquely hers, the themes of financial struggles, complicated family dynamics, and the experiences and people who shape who we become will resonate with a wide range of readers. Elaine's ability to recall small moments and conversations with remarkable clarity and perspective brings her story to life with just the right blend of humor, self-deprecation and poignancy. #uglydumpling #netgalley

[Jill Dobbe]

The adage that your past doesn't have to define you could be the theme of this memoir. The author grows up in a dysfunctional and poverty-stricken household with a mother, two brothers, and an abusive and absent father. Her mother plays a predominant role, and the author basically plans her life and career around her. The love and caring between them is always constant, despite her mother's mental health concerns.

Ugly Dumpling is an honest and emotional memoir that chronicles Hsieh's youth, college days, and watching her own children go off to university. At times, the book reads more like diary entries as she describes her later years, her work, her relationships, and following her daughter's academics. The many hardships and vulnerabilities that the author experienced throughout life allowed her to fully appreciate the life she eventually made for herself and her own family.

Thank you to the author, publisher, and NetGalley for this ARC.

[Andrew]

I met Elaine in the Fall of 1990 at the beginning of our college freshman year. I have two clear memories of her: She was one of the few freshmen who had a car - a bright red Honda Civic (and because I’ve read the book, I now know the details of how it came about!) She was also one of the most cheerful, optimistic people I had met - always smiling and looking on the bright side of things. Over the years as I learned more about the hardships she faced growing up, I was both puzzled and amazed at how she turned out to be so accomplished and gracious. Reading her memoir gave me that insight. I’d like to share a couple of moments in her book that impacted me.

The first illustrates the power of unexpected grace from others. Elaine recounts her early childhood growing up in Honolulu. There’s a fragile hope that her estranged parents might reunite into a picture-perfect family; she shares a memory of everyone making dumplings together in their tiny kitchen. But that dream quickly shatters. One night, things escalate to the point that the police are called in to intervene. Elaine, her mother, and her two brothers have to flee to a place where their father can't find them. It’s many years later before she sees her father again.

Living on welfare, they can only afford a cramped apartment where their bathroom doesn’t have a door. Typical meals consist of rice and canned goods. Elaine’s mom’s mental struggles permeate life at home. There are moments of warmth and tenderness punctuated by unpredictable outbursts of sadness and anger. Elaine also remembers her mom talking to herself, chanting, or gazing at nothing - in her words, she was “there but not really there.”

Yet in the middle of that turmoil, ordinary people step in. Pastor Rick comes by every week to drive them to church and treat them to McDonald’s. Elaine’s kindergarten teachers, Mrs. Hayashi and Mrs. Sasabe, notice her needs and quietly provide clothes and food. Her friend Tina listens patiently to her endless stories. A volunteer Big Sister, Donna, takes her on regular outings. Many years later when Elaine is visiting Hawai’i as an adult, she reflects on their impact:

I thought of… [a]ll the small, ordinary things they’d done for me. The kindness they offered without ever knowing how much I needed it. Their care found me anyway, and stayed with me, all the way to here. I wanted to tell them: Look, I made it. I’m okay. And more than anything: Thank you.

Reading that has caused me to look past my own immediate responsibilities and ask how I can show up regularly, quietly, for someone outside my immediate orbit who just needs hope.

The second moment comes from Elaine’s adult years, and it’s a story of extending grace towards family. Elaine and her mom are talking in the dining hall of the treatment unit where Elaine’s mom is receiving treatment for mental health challenges. She pours out her triple agony of being rejected by her father, her husband, and her siblings. She feels like she has nothing to offer Elaine, telling Elaine:

“I’m just a burden to you,” she said, her eyes dropping to the floor.
“No, Mom,” I said, gripping her hand. “You’re not a burden. You never were. You gave me everything you could… Even if it was just love, that’s all I ever needed.”

I knew what I’d known in my bones since I was a child. My mom loved me—not perfectly, but deeply. And I loved her, not just out of obligation but with tenderness. Her illness had taken so much from us, but it hadn’t taken this. By letting me go… she was showing me that love could still rise above the damage… I could accept her as she was.

Many of us try to avoid facing painful memories or relationships. We hope that busyness and accomplishments will cover old wounds. But Elaine shows us that in our imperfect relationships, we can choose to let the transforming power of love prevail.

This book is not merely the autobiography of how one person overcame great personal odds, it is a much needed message of love, hope and grace to anyone who is struggling to make sense of the ugliness they’ve experienced in life. I encourage you all to read her story, to let yourself be changed by it, and to share it with others.

And to Elaine, thank you for having the courage to share your powerful story with us and for inviting us to carry it forward with you.

[Dace ჯ]

I really enjoyed this candid and refreshing memoir. Elaine Hsieh Yu tells the story of her childhood and coming of age, while also reflecting on her life in her 50s, when she is raising grown children of her own.

At four years old, Elaine moved from Hong Kong to Hawaii with her mother and two older brothers. Her father helped the family move to the US but remained an on-and-off presence throughout her childhood and adolescence. Her mother struggled with mental health issues and was often unable to provide the guidance Elaine needed. Elaine was frequently left to fend for herself, felt embarrassed by her mother, and eventually had to take care of her as well. Her determination to do well at school, get a job, and achieve financial security was largely driven by her desire to be able to support her mother.

Her coming-of-age story reminded me at times of David Copperfield and Demon Copperhead, both of which I read this year. Like those characters, Elaine grows up without much parental guidance, even though her mother is present and loving. Her story also made me think more broadly about the experiences of immigrant children. When parents struggle with the language and navigating a new country, children can end up taking on the roles of translators, guides, and even parents themselves.

The memoir also explores intergenerational trauma and healing. Elaine's parents had both experienced trauma and unhappy childhoods, and Elaine herself tried to give her own children everything she had lacked growing up—sometimes putting unnecessary pressure on them in the process.

Elaine worked incredibly hard, but she also encountered a few "angels" along the way who supported and encouraged her, helping her eventually get into prestigious Stanford. I could relate strongly to her experience of imposter syndrome when she found herself surrounded by students from prestigious schools. Although my circumstances are very different from hers, many of her feelings were surprisingly familiar to me. I also related to her realization that what she considered success in her teens and twenties is not necessarily what she considers success in middle age.

The book was very easy to read, and I was particularly impressed by how convincingly Yu adjusts her voice to reflect Elaine at different ages. The voice of little Elaine felt especially authentic.

Overall, Ugly Dumpling is a thoughtful, honest, and very readable memoir about family, immigration, ambition, trauma, and finding your own definition of success.

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for providing me with an early reader e-book in exchange for an honest review.

[Jo]

Elaine Hsieh Yu has written an engaging, easy to read memoir.
Whilst the themes can be tough, poverty and mental health amongst them, this doesn't feel a low energy or saddening tale. Threaded through there is a continual optimism, which is clearly a trait of the author's. Even recounting scenes of embarrassment, at the hand of her mother, Hsieh Yu appears to value this relationship highly. I couldn't help but feel I wanted to know more about the emotions of this experience. It felt a well described overview of life, growing up in hardship, but didn't always feel like it fully connected to the lived experience of this.

I enjoyed the recounting of the different relationships that the author encountered throughout her life, both familial and within the wider community. The role of 'a village' in raising a child comes through clearly here, with many of the cast of Elaine Hsieh Yu's formative years clearly having an indelible impact on the woman she was able to grow to be. This felt a real strength of this memoir- a great representation of how even relatively small acts can impact a life.

Seeing the path that she carved out for herself was also refreshing. As someone who grew up in an environment which was often ruled by the moods or wants of others, it was clear that Elaine still felt able to make her own decisions. Moving out, to prestigious Stanford University, marked the start of a chapter where Elaine was able to follow paths that weren't always well trodden, but which fit her and made sense within her knowledge of self.

This memoir gives cultural insight and provides the portrait of both a family, a young woman and the environments that impacted her. I read this quickly and was always happy to re-immerse myself. It felt realistic at it's heart, not romanticising any elements and also showing the long reaching effects, such as how Elaine's own maternal experiences have impacted her own experience raising a family.
It would have been wonderful to gain a slightly deeper insight in some aspects, but it feels like this memoir sensitively handles big topics and ensures people are represented with respect and dignity.

Thank you to NetGalley for an ARC, in exchange for review.

[Lili]

Ugly Dumpling is an honest and moving memoir that spans nearly five decades. The reader follows along with a family of five, two parents and three children. Elaine, the youngest child and author of this memoir, recounts her life starting in Hawaii. Elaine has a sharp memory and can recount the big move from Hong Kong to Hawaii at the young age of four years old. From Elaine’s eyes, she sees her parents fighting. Her dad abandoning the family, and leaving them stranded in Hawaii. She sees her mother struggle with mental health issues, and the constant fight to keep a job due to these issues. Her older brothers were distant and could be mean to her, they were just kids trying to figure life out as well. Over the course of the memoir, we see the struggles this family has faced, and our narrator’s determination for a better life for her and her mother.

The writing in this memoir is detailed, honest, raw and heartbreaking. It covers topics of mental health, immigration, financial instability, racism, divorce, and most importantly, unwavering love. This unwavering love is seen with Elaine and her mother, the love she has for her brothers, her father, and when she’s older the family she builds. The author has truly inspired me with the perseverance she’s had throughout her life. It was not easy, however she remained determined, kind and loving at the end of the day.

This book was easy to read, and kept me wanting more after each page. The chapters were at good length.

This book is perfect for readers that are interested in memoirs about family, immigration, generational trauma, and complicated relationships between parents and their children.

On a personal note, this book made me reflect on my own family’s story. There were topics within that made me feel seen, and I highly appreciated this read. I definitely cried reading this book, it was touching and made me appreciate my family more. Thank you Elaine for sharing your story.

[Angie]

I recently read Ugly Dumpling by Elaine Hsieh Yu and it is definitely one I would recommend!

Elaine and her family moved to Hawai'i from China when she was a young girl and her parents almost immediately separated and divorced following this major relocation. She lived primarily with her mother and two brothers and was moved from Hawai'i to California while she was in elementary school - another major life adjustment. Her father was at times a part of her life, but generally was out of the picture and when he was around he was very unsupportive and critical of his children. Elaine was extremely resilient and quite independent, always looking for ways to work through difficult situations. She experienced poverty, food insecurity, neglect, physical violence, racism, bullying, and many other adverse childhood and adolescent experiences, including navigating her mother and brother's undiagnosed or treated mental health challenges. This is definitely a memoir of strength, survival and resilience, while also being an opportunity to look at the life of first generation immigrants and the experiences of Chinese-Americans in the 70s, 80s and 90s. I really enjoyed this book and would definitely recommend it. Elaine's openness in recounting some incredibly difficult experiences made for a moving and often compelling story. Even the embarrassing and chaotic moments became part of what made her story so memorable; you feel so much sympathy for this poor girl, while also able to see the glimmers of hope and humour at times. It is described as Beautiful Country (Qian Julie Wang )and The Glass Castle (Jeanette Walls), I'd agree with that and I would also say it has moments of similarity to Crying in H Mart (Michelle Zauner) (with less food) and The Manicurist's Daughter (Susan Lieu). The Asian-American experiences and the challenges with relating to their parents and also their peers, plus trauma and loss, are common themes. If you've read any of those four books, I'd definitely recommend picking this one up!

It comes out in spring 2027! Thanks to netgalley and the publisher for giving me the chance to read and review this book!

[DeWayne Mason]

I served as an early reviewer of this outstanding book after receiving an advanced review copy (ARC) from the author, whom I met online as a member of a Facebook book club.

I truly believe this is an exceptional memoir. If it’s not an Amazon #1 New Release and longtime bestseller, I’ll be totally surprised. It was that good!

The book is engaging from page one to the end. On my second day of reading, I couldn’t put it down, reading until 330 AM and picking it up first thing upon waking the next morning. It’s filled with riveting scenes about the author’s topsy-turvy life in China, Hawaii, and the US, making ends meet in poverty, living largely without a father and with an unstable, albeit loving, mother of three children. The early story is artfully told in the author’s youthful voice as we follow her to school and around her home with two younger brothers and an often ranting mother who struggles to survive with nearly no support from her absent husband.

We watch Elaine evolve through her efforts to fit in despite her various social and economic disadvantages—and fit in she does, gaining a foothold and respect through sports, and, with teacher support, achieving academically to the top of her class and earning a scholarship to Stanford and beyond.

I loved so much about this book, especially its self-reflections about the mother-daughter and daughter-brother and daughter-father relationships. But then also how Elaine thrives and wrestles with her own demons and family while maintaining and enriching relationships with her brothers, parents, and college friends.

I could go on and on but won’t add spoilers. Rest assured, however, that readers will enjoy this book and find many universal takeaways from reading it. I read lots of memoirs, and this is among the best I’ve read.

[Shari]

Ugly Dumpling by Elaine Yu is an unforgettable memoir of transcending your childhood trauma to thrive and succeed no matter what. Born in Hong Kong to a mother with mental health issues and a mostly absentee father, the family moves to Hawaii at a young age and lived in abject poverty. Here, Elaine deals with a mother who chants in a room, only cooks canned chili with rice daily, and is on welfare and can barely keep the family afloat. As she goes to school, she sees how much different her life is than the others around her. Despite all of this, she forges ahead and works hard to overcome her home living situation. She is given donations of old clothes to wear, another teacher has compassion and takes minutes to comb out the tangles in her hair for school picture day. This book is reminiscent of The Glass Castle by Jeanette Walls as far as the trauma, poverty, and abuse she encountered in her early life.

All of this gave Elaine the drive and grit and determination to succeed. She taught her solve to solve a Rubik’s cube, played competitive volleyball, gets into Stanford on a full ride scholarship, and puts her intelligence and drive to the test by taking an Electrical Engineering track. Then she returns for a Masters! Throughout her life, her brothers also had to survive the trauma of their shared childhood and abuse, and deal with situations as well as they could.

I loved the writing about Hawaii, and the reference to the song Honolulu City Lights, as I was born and raised in Hawaii and fondly remember the era in which she was raised. The way Elaine overcame the hardship in her life to build a family despite her broken and damaged family upbringing was inspirational and gave me a feeling of hope and joy. This was the best memoir I have read this year!

Thanks to Elaine Yu and Forefront books for this advanced reader copy.

[Lucy]

Ugly Dumpling chronicles Elaine Hsieh Yu’s life, from moving from Hong Kong to Honolulu at the age of four, then to East Los Angeles, and eventually to Silicon Valley, where she raises her children. Her story is one of poverty, hardship, family dysfunction, identity, and the lasting effects of generational trauma.

This is an incredibly detailed account of Elaine’s life, as well as that of her parents and brothers. Her memories are remarkable, and she doesn't shy away from the difficult parts of her childhood: growing up in poverty, an absent and sometimes violent father, a mother struggling with her own mental health, and the complicated experiences of being an immigrant and trying to find a sense of identity and belonging.

There are so many layers to this family’s story — trauma, secrets, shame, mental illness, poverty, and the ways in which difficult experiences can be passed from one generation to the next. I was particularly struck by the way Elaine explores her mother’s own history and the fact that, as the daughter of a servant, she was never valued in the way a son would have been. She also explores her father's experience as an escapee from China in the 50s.

The book is extremely readable, with short chapters and beautifully articulated memories.

I think the title is very apt, and by the end, I felt that Elaine had thoroughly achieved what she set out to do: to tell her story honestly and without shying away from the uncomfortable parts.

This book will appeal particularly to readers who enjoy memoirs about family, immigration, identity, generational trauma, and the complicated relationships between parents and children.

I received an advance review copy from NetGalley, and this is my honest review.

[Kevin Wang]

Ugly Dumpling is more than a memoir; it is a profound and deeply resonant journey into the heart of the immigrant experience. Elaine masterfully captures the complexity of growing up between worlds, balancing the weight of filial duty, the trauma of family instability, and the relentless search for identity.

As an Asian American raised by immigrant parents, reading this book felt like looking into a mirror. Yu perfectly articulates the unique, often unspoken tensions that define our upbringing—the pressure to succeed, the haunting silence surrounding our families’ pasts, and the struggle to decipher the cultural codes that our parents brought with them across the ocean. Whether it was the specific, visceral connection to the food that served as both a comfort and a bridge, or the painful realization that our parents were not just authority figures but individuals struggling with their own unhealed wounds, every chapter hit home.

What struck me most was the author’s ability to navigate her family’s history—the scars and the beauty alike—with such profound empathy and clarity. She honors the struggle of her parents without shying away from the difficulties they created. It is a testament to the resilience of the human spirit that she managed to build a stable, successful life while carrying the heavy baggage of generational trauma.

Ugly Dumpling is a must-read for anyone who has ever felt the push and pull of their heritage. It is a story of forgiveness, of learning to let go of the stories we’ve been told, and of finally claiming our own path. This is a brave, beautiful, and ultimately triumphant work.

[Veronica]

I read an advance copy of Ugly Dumpling over summer vacation and I loved it!

Elaine Yu has written a funny and multilayered memoir that paints a picture of playful childhood innocence and [not often spoken about] burdens of growing up in an immigrant family of little means.

The memoir follows her into adult life in where you can see some of the impacts of multigenerational trauma in the expectations placed on herself and on her own children.

Her writing is in a way that includes the small details - a small act of vandalism with gum, mention of eye boogers and makes them meaningful, as well as capturing family members personalities in a way that and not simply black and white despite all the barriers of a high tension home environment and difficulty with culture and language nuances. For all the heavy moments there are moments of pure happiness that shine through the pages.

Give it a read, this book is one you won't forget about anytime soon!

Last note - I was able to meet Elaine in person during a Book Club meetup and hear about her writing process. Though there is a large age difference between us I am so thankful to her for writing this book (felt many parallels with my own Chinese immigrant family) and expressing in such a way the words remain true to the original intention. It opened me up to reflection and sharing dialogue about childhood with friends; I believe it is a book that needed to be written and has high relevancy for readers today.

[James]

Ugly Dumpling is a well-written memoir which tackles some weighty themes including mental health, poverty, family dysfunction, and the immigrant experience, all presented with incredible grace and readability. The chapters are short, but each one presents a distinct and vivid slice of Elaine’s life from early childhood up to the present, although the majority of the book centers on her years before college. I breezed through the first half of the book on a trans-Pacific red-eye flight (I probably should have been sleeping but couldn’t put it down) and finished the second half in a single afternoon the following weekend. I can’t remember the last time I read a book in only two sittings. As a Chinese-American of similar age who also spent my formative years in California, I expected that we shared some common experiences, and it was fun to see cultural references (Love Boat!) which I hadn’t thought about for years. But this is book is so, so much more than a simple recollection of her journey to where she is today. Elaine does a masterful job capturing the complex dynamics of her family and painting an unfiltered, affectionate portrait of her mother, and her ability to recall moments from decades ago with such clarity is stunning. I would highly recommend Ugly Dumpling for anyone who loves deep, honest family stories, or simply just wants to dive into a great book by a promising new author.

[Cristina Mia]

Writing is not an easy tasks; writing a memoir may be even harder. A big applause to Elaine Hsieh Yu for sharing her life story with any reader who enjoys a heartwarming autobiography.

My first positive impressions go to the title and the cover, well themed and beautifully crafted.
The story itself allows us to navigate through over 40 years of Elaine’s life, who shares in first person her struggles as a daughter of immigrants, through poverty, discrimination and coping with her mothers declining mental hearth. As a daughter of, and an immigrant myself, I could relate to the constant feeling of thriving for the best not to disappoint the family, and the validation happiness triggered by feeling included and having “a seat at the table with natives”.

One downside for me was the writing style. In the beautiful words of Chekov, “Don't tell me the moon is shining; show me the glint of light on broken glass.” The direct writing/matter of fact approach was taking away from passages where an emotional tone would have been more impactful on the reader.
So was the exposition and the inner monologues which saturated the narrative by over-explaining feelings and emotions instead of making the reader feel them.
Whilst the writing style might not be everyone’s cuppa, I could see this play beautifully on the screens.

Nevertheless, I firmly believe the author is on the right path of storytelling and I hope to read one day the published journals of her father.

[Sophie]

Review of advanced copy from Netgalley.

Ugly Dumpling is a beautiful memoir which is simultaneously hard to put down and challenging to read. Elaine Yu is a Chinese immigrant to America, who at times struggled with feeling neither part of one of the cultures, nor the other. She is a daughter, to a loving mother with mental health problems and an absentee father. She is a sister, a wife, a mother. She is relied upon at an extremely young age and this shaped her life to mean all her decisions were in service of her family.

The voice in Yu's memoir is the most striking part; rather than hearing her story as a woman speaking about the past, you believe she's the age she's writing from. In early chapters she's naive, easily scared, and inquisitive, and later on we hear her parental influence affect how she raises her children. It's incredibly touching to be let into someone's inner thoughts so authentically, especially given the topics she covers are so sensitive. By the end of the novel you feel both proud of Yu for what she achieved, as well as wanting to give her a hug for what she had to experience to get there.

This was incredibly addictive to read and I definitely recommend it to anyone who understands that necessity to grow up quickly because circumstances make it so.

Thanks again to Forefront Books and Netgalley for this ARC.

[Katie]

Thank you to Forefront Books and NetGalley for the early look at this book!

I’ll admit it: the cover had me.

And the title.

Also, it’s a memoir.

An auspicious trifecta if there ever were one! So obviously I was ALL OVER Ugly Dumpling by Elaine Hsieh Yu when I saw it on NetGalley. I was like Wayne with the ‘64 Fender Stratocaster:

It will be mine. Oh yes, it will be mine!

And then it was! So it’s not without a bit of sadness that I need to report this book wasn’t quite it for me. The story’s there, but the writing? The writing sunk this one. It’s 320 pages of telling, never showing: “This happened, then this happened, then this happened, and then [increasingly towards the end of the book] this happened, but in random order.”

The answer to “what happened?” is usually the least interesting bit about a story.

It’s the connections, the inferences, the characters, the humor, the punches to the gut, the reflections on a life both magnificent and minuscule, universal and unique, that make a story so great.

I would have loved to read that book.

I made dumplings for my boys this morning. True story, I swear. Pierogi, technically, but what’s that but an Eastern European dumpling? They were golden and crispy on the outside, but after taking a bite, they informed me the inside was still cold.

Apropos.

[Janine]

Poignant, coming-of-age and heartfelt memoir of immigration, poverty, hope and resilience taking us from China to America and exploring the effects of culture, parenting and opportunities that can either be turned into lemonade or ignored, showing you can make your life what you want it to be.

This is a finely written memoir very conversational in its pacing. It’s honest and doesn’t spare the reader heartfelt and traumatic moments. The descriptions of life are raw and emotional at times but also buoyant and humming with life. 1970s Hawaii is particularly interesting and atmospheric. Arrival at Stanford cheered me to think the author had struggled and achieved so much. The wrenching honesty of dealing with mental health family issues was moving.

I enjoy memoirs. There isn’t something that I can’t learn or takeaway from someone putting their life in order - often to sort out the pain and appreciate the progress. I think that’s what I enjoyed most of this memoir. My kudos to the author.

My thanks to NetGalley and Resolve Editions for granting me access to this ARC.

[Stephanie]

I have not read many memoirs that examine the complicated nature of love as deeply as this one. Told initially through the simple voice of a child and later maturing in tone as the story moves into Yu's adulthood, Ugly Dumpling explores what it means to love unreliable people -- and the long-term effects of an early lack of stability.

Yu's depth of thought about how her childhood affected her later relationship with her own children makes this book well worth a read, and the light touch she brings to some of her heavier stories makes it more accessible than many other memoirs. There is trauma here, but this isn't a trauma memoir. Yu has a sense of humor about her own life as well, which is always a pleasure in the genre and not at all a given.

This book is engaging, moving, and a quick read. Highly recommended.

[Alex Swanson]

Thank you Netgalley and Forefront Books for letting me read this book early! All thoughts and opinions are my own!
This is emotional. Wow. I picked up this book because of a post the author made of Reddit, I've never been big on biographies I usually find them slow and boring to be honest, But this? I quite enjoyed this! It was emotional and a bit hard to read. Once I got into the book each day I would get engrossed in it, Though sometimes it was hard to GET into it each day. I read this MOSTLY in 2 days.
I would check content warnings before reading it though if your in a dark place because it does go over a lot of darker topics!
If you want a memoir that spans decades, mental health, and family expectations I would definitely recommend this! I liked the quicker pacing and writing style.