Ugly Dumpling: A Memoir

by Elaine Hsieh Yu

For readers of Beautiful Country by Qian Julie Wang and The Glass Castle by Jeanette Walls, an Asian American coming-of-age story about growing up in poverty with a mother living with mental health issues, and about the redemptive power of love.

When Elaine Hsieh Yu arrives in Hawai‘i from Hong Kong at the age of four, her family’s hopes for stability quickly unravel. Her father, rigid and demanding, drifts in and out of her life. Her mother, loving but volatile, is at times neglectful. From an early age, Elaine understands that adults are not always able to protect or provide.

Ugly Dumpling follows Elaine’s journey from growing up poor, Asian, and largely invisible in Honolulu and East Los Angeles to raising her children in Silicon Valley. She shares vivid memories of family, survival, and love, tracing a childhood shaped by public assistance and undiagnosed illness into an adult life spent trying to give her children everything she never had.

Honest, emotional, and at times funny, Elaine’s story touches on relationships across three generations, revealing how the past shapes us but doesn’t have to define us, and how the unexpected paths and broken pieces can become something whole and beautiful.

Genres: Memoir

Kindle Edition

Expected publication March 16, 2027

About the author

Elaine Hsieh Yu was born in Hong Kong and grew up in Hawaiʻi and Southern California. She went on to build a career in Silicon Valley after graduating from Stanford University with degrees in Electrical Engineering. She wrote her debut memoir, Ugly Dumpling, to shine a light on mental health and intergenerational healing within Asian American families. She currently lives in the San Francisco Bay Area with her husband, where they raised their two children, while continuing to care for her elderly mother. As an empty nester, she devotes her time outside her tech job at Apple to writing, keeping her houseplants alive, and socializing with friends, sometimes talking and laughing a little too loudly.

Reviews

[Brenda (jadore_2read) · Rating 5 out of 5]

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
“I wasn’t the kind of kid people stayed for.”
✨
I always rate memoirs 5 stars. It is such a vulnerable experience to go through twice for the author. And then sharing it with the world has to be an emotional roller coaster.
The cover is beautiful (kintsugi). The mended glass symbolizes healing, beauty in imperfections, mending broken areas and resilience. It represents the memoir perfectly.
🥟 I found myself in your shoes at times. And it serves as a reminder that we all have stories and it cost nothing to treat people with kindness. And we’re all just together floating on a giant rock. This book is a warm hug to those who’ve never felt enough despite pouring from an empty cup.

Ugly Dumpling by Elaine Hsieh Yu
✨Asian American coming-of-age
✨Family Trauma/Mental Health
✨Poverty/Redemption
✨out March 16, 2027

Thank you, NetGalley for the advanced copy.

[Sandra Koka (pielasit_sirdi)]

‘’My mom love wasn’t always calm or easy, or perfectly expressed. But it was constant.’’ ( p.124)

Looking for a better life, a family from Hong Kong moves to Hawaii, but this little dream of happiness quickly collapses when the father abandons the family. Despite Elaine's mother speaking English fluently, her mental health struggles prevent her from keeping a stable job, and caring for three children with only state assistance leaves her living in constant worry and anxiety about the next day. However, she refuses to give up and return to her homeland.

Thus begins Elaine's memoir of growing up in poverty and family bonds that stretch far beyond physical borders.
Despite all the emotional struggles and hardships, the author manages to look at things someplace with irony. If there is an ugly duckling, then why not a slightly modified version an "ugly dumpling," closely tied to Chinese culture and culinary traditions. Everyday problems and the struggle for basic survival stand out most brightly when there is something to compare them to. Often, the empathy and kindness of friends are what reveal just how different lives can be.

On multiple layers, the reader can see how difficult it is to grow up between completely different cultures, how massive the gap is between China and the US, and how unaccepting and simultaneously tearing apart this desire is on one hand, to fit in somewhere, and on the other, to integrate. Not to stand out, to be like everyone else, while facing immense pressure from the family to achieve everything the parents could not. This is also a story about family ties, self-sacrifice, mental health, and generational trauma.

The story is filled with plenty of warmth and kindness from people around them, along with the ability to adapt to any circumstances. At the same time, the protagonist tries to act more mature than her age requires, because despite being the youngest in the family, she often acts as her mother's anchor, navigating through everyday problems.

3.8 stars


Thank you to NetGalley for sharing this mystery’s digital reviewer copy with me in exchange for my honest thoughts.



LV

Meklējot labāku dzīvi, ģimene no Hong Kongas pārceļas uz Hawaii, taču ātri vien šis laimes namiņš sabrūk, kad tēvs pamet ģimeni. Neskatoties uz to, ka Elaines māte lieliski prot angļu valodu, viņas mentālās veselības problēmas neļauj viņai paturēt stabilu darbu un rūpes par trim bērniem, ar vienīgo atbalstu no valsts, liek viņai dzīvot nepārtrauktās rūpēs un raizēs par nākamo dienu. Tomēr padoties un atgriezties savā dzimtenē viņa atsakās. Tā sākas Elaine atmiņu stāsts par dzīvošanu nabadzībā un ģimenes saitēm, kas sniedzas tālāk par fiziskajām robežām. Un mīlestību, lai arī kāda tā nebūtu.

Autore, par spīti visiem emocionālajiem pārdzīvojumiem un problēmām, spēj uz lietām paraudzīties dažkārt arī ironiski. Ja reiz ir neglītais pīlēns, tad, kāpēc ne drusku pamainīta versija- neglītais pelmenis, kas cieši saistīts ar Ķīnas kultūri un kulināriju. Ikdienas problēmas un cīņa par vienkāršu izdzīvošanu, visspilgtāk parādās brīžos, kad ir ar ko salīdzināt. Bieži vien draudzeņu iejūtība un labsirdība, ir tā, kas parāda, cik atšķirīgas var būt dzīves.

Vairākos slāņos lasītājs var ieraudzīt, cik sarežģīti ir izaugt starp pilnīgi dažādām kultūrām, cik milzu plaisa ir starp Ķīnu un ASv, cik nepieņemoša, reizē uz pusēm plēsoša ir šī vēlme, no vienas puses kaut kur iederēties, no otras saglabāt savu izcelsmi. Neizlekt, būt kā visiem pārējiem un reizē milzu spiediens no ģimenes sasniegt visu to, ko vecākiem neizdevās. Šis ir stāsts arī par ģimenes saitēm, ziedošanos, mentālo veselību un paaudžu traumām.

Stāstā ir daudz sirsnības un līdzcilvēku labsirdība. Spēja adaptēties jebkuros apstākļos, reizē varone cenšas būt vairāk pieaugusi, nekā no viņas vecuma bērniem prasa, jo bieži vien, neskatoties uz to, ka viņa ir jaunākā ģimenē, viņa ir kā mammas balsts, kas lavierē starp ikdienas problēmām.

3.8 zvaigznes

[Michelle · Rating 5 out of 5]

Elaine's debut memoir is an honest, vulnerable and authentic reflection on what it means to find one's place in the world, literally and metaphorically. While her journey from Hong Kong to Hawaii to Los Angeles and finally, Silicon Valley is both a common one and uniquely hers, the themes of financial struggles, complicated family dynamics, and the experiences and people who shape who we become will resonate with a wide range of readers. Elaine's ability to recall small moments and conversations with remarkable clarity and perspective brings her story to life with just the right blend of humor, self-deprecation and poignancy. #uglydumpling #netgalley

[Lili · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ugly Dumpling is an honest and moving memoir that spans nearly five decades. The reader follows along with a family of five, two parents and three children. Elaine, the youngest child and author of this memoir, recounts her life starting in Hawaii. Elaine has a sharp memory and can recount the big move from Hong Kong to Hawaii at the young age of four years old. From Elaine’s eyes, she sees her parents fighting. Her dad abandoning the family, and leaving them stranded in Hawaii. She sees her mother struggle with mental health issues, and the constant fight to keep a job due to these issues. Her older brothers were distant and could be mean to her, they were just kids trying to figure life out as well. Over the course of the memoir, we see the struggles this family has faced, and our narrator’s determination for a better life for her and her mother.

The writing in this memoir is detailed, honest, raw and heartbreaking. It covers topics of mental health, immigration, financial instability, racism, divorce, and most importantly, unwavering love. This unwavering love is seen with Elaine and her mother, the love she has for her brothers, her father, and when she’s older the family she builds. The author has truly inspired me with the perseverance she’s had throughout her life. It was not easy, however she remained determined, kind and loving at the end of the day.

This book was easy to read, and kept me wanting more after each page. The chapters were at good length.

This book is perfect for readers that are interested in memoirs about family, immigration, generational trauma, and complicated relationships between parents and their children.

On a personal note, this book made me reflect on my own family’s story. There were topics within that made me feel seen, and I highly appreciated this read. I definitely cried reading this book, it was touching and made me appreciate my family more. Thank you Elaine for sharing your story.

[DeWayne Mason · Rating 5 out of 5]

I served as an early reviewer of this outstanding book after receiving an advanced review copy (ARC) from the author, whom I met online as a member of a Facebook book club.

I truly believe this is an exceptional memoir. If it’s not an Amazon #1 New Release and longtime bestseller, I’ll be totally surprised. It was that good!

The book is engaging from page one to the end. On my second day of reading, I couldn’t put it down, reading until 330 AM and picking it up first thing upon waking the next morning. It’s filled with riveting scenes about the author’s topsy-turvy life in China, Hawaii, and the US, making ends meet in poverty, living largely without a father and with an unstable, albeit loving, mother of three children. The early story is artfully told in the author’s youthful voice as we follow her to school and around her home with two younger brothers and an often ranting mother who struggles to survive with nearly no support from her absent husband.

We watch Elaine evolve through her efforts to fit in despite her various social and economic disadvantages—and fit in she does, gaining a foothold and respect through sports, and, with teacher support, achieving academically to the top of her class and earning a scholarship to Stanford and beyond.

I loved so much about this book, especially its self-reflections about the mother-daughter and daughter-brother and daughter-father relationships. But then also how Elaine thrives and wrestles with her own demons and family while maintaining and enriching relationships with her brothers, parents, and college friends.

I could go on and on but won’t add spoilers. Rest assured, however, that readers will enjoy this book and find many universal takeaways from reading it. I read lots of memoirs, and this is among the best I’ve read.

[Lucy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ugly Dumpling chronicles Elaine Hsieh Yu’s life, from moving from Hong Kong to Honolulu at the age of four, then to East Los Angeles, and eventually to Silicon Valley, where she raises her children. Her story is one of poverty, hardship, family dysfunction, identity, and the lasting effects of generational trauma.

This is an incredibly detailed account of Elaine’s life, as well as that of her parents and brothers. Her memories are remarkable, and she doesn't shy away from the difficult parts of her childhood: growing up in poverty, an absent and sometimes violent father, a mother struggling with her own mental health, and the complicated experiences of being an immigrant and trying to find a sense of identity and belonging.

There are so many layers to this family’s story — trauma, secrets, shame, mental illness, poverty, and the ways in which difficult experiences can be passed from one generation to the next. I was particularly struck by the way Elaine explores her mother’s own history and the fact that, as the daughter of a servant, she was never valued in the way a son would have been. She also explores her father's experience as an escapee from China in the 50s.

The book is extremely readable, with short chapters and beautifully articulated memories.

I think the title is very apt, and by the end, I felt that Elaine had thoroughly achieved what she set out to do: to tell her story honestly and without shying away from the uncomfortable parts.

This book will appeal particularly to readers who enjoy memoirs about family, immigration, identity, generational trauma, and the complicated relationships between parents and children.

I received an advance review copy from NetGalley, and this is my honest review.

[Kevin Wang · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ugly Dumpling is more than a memoir; it is a profound and deeply resonant journey into the heart of the immigrant experience. Elaine masterfully captures the complexity of growing up between worlds, balancing the weight of filial duty, the trauma of family instability, and the relentless search for identity.

As an Asian American raised by immigrant parents, reading this book felt like looking into a mirror. Yu perfectly articulates the unique, often unspoken tensions that define our upbringing—the pressure to succeed, the haunting silence surrounding our families’ pasts, and the struggle to decipher the cultural codes that our parents brought with them across the ocean. Whether it was the specific, visceral connection to the food that served as both a comfort and a bridge, or the painful realization that our parents were not just authority figures but individuals struggling with their own unhealed wounds, every chapter hit home.

What struck me most was the author’s ability to navigate her family’s history—the scars and the beauty alike—with such profound empathy and clarity. She honors the struggle of her parents without shying away from the difficulties they created. It is a testament to the resilience of the human spirit that she managed to build a stable, successful life while carrying the heavy baggage of generational trauma.

Ugly Dumpling is a must-read for anyone who has ever felt the push and pull of their heritage. It is a story of forgiveness, of learning to let go of the stories we’ve been told, and of finally claiming our own path. This is a brave, beautiful, and ultimately triumphant work.

[James · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ugly Dumpling is a well-written memoir which tackles some weighty themes including mental health, poverty, family dysfunction, and the immigrant experience, all presented with incredible grace and readability. The chapters are short, but each one presents a distinct and vivid slice of Elaine’s life from early childhood up to the present, although the majority of the book centers on her years before college. I breezed through the first half of the book on a trans-Pacific red-eye flight (I probably should have been sleeping but couldn’t put it down) and finished the second half in a single afternoon the following weekend. I can’t remember the last time I read a book in only two sittings. As a Chinese-American of similar age who also spent my formative years in California, I expected that we shared some common experiences, and it was fun to see cultural references (Love Boat!) which I hadn’t thought about for years. But this is book is so, so much more than a simple recollection of her journey to where she is today. Elaine does a masterful job capturing the complex dynamics of her family and painting an unfiltered, affectionate portrait of her mother, and her ability to recall moments from decades ago with such clarity is stunning. I would highly recommend Ugly Dumpling for anyone who loves deep, honest family stories, or simply just wants to dive into a great book by a promising new author.

[Stephanie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have not read many memoirs that examine the complicated nature of love as deeply as this one. Told initially through the simple voice of a child and later maturing in tone as the story moves into Yu's adulthood, Ugly Dumpling explores what it means to love unreliable people -- and the long-term effects of an early lack of stability.

Yu's depth of thought about how her childhood affected her later relationship with her own children makes this book well worth a read, and the light touch she brings to some of her heavier stories makes it more accessible than many other memoirs. There is trauma here, but this isn't a trauma memoir. Yu has a sense of humor about her own life as well, which is always a pleasure in the genre and not at all a given.

This book is engaging, moving, and a quick read. Highly recommended.

[Ben · Rating 5 out of 5]

A beautiful, moving memoir about a life. Spanning 3 generations, Elaine tells the story of family. From moving to Hawaii at only 4 years old, to overcoming adversaries, and finding beauty exactly where it is.

This book moved me, I haven’t read such a beautiful story about the ways life can treat a person. When I finished I just said wow, wow because through all this hardship, there’s beauty, love, and so much emotion.

The way Elaine recollects and writes about her story is amazing. It’s incredibly well written, and reads quite smoothly. It’s visible how hard the struggle is as she’s growing up, to have little wins, and eventually build a family of her own.

A thank you to Netgalley for sharing this novel with me.

[KKA · Rating 5 out of 5]

(SUMMARY: memoir = the unvarnished truth) ARC received in exchange for an honest review. (ARC = Advanced Reader Copy.) In the literary category of "memoir," a candid, personal, unpolished body of off-the-cuff content is usually expected by any reader. Elaine Hsieh Yu in this book does an excellent job of presenting the unvarnished truth of her life over time, for the reader to draw life lessons and actionable solutions from. I even learned a new word while reading her memoir: "dee-vorced" as a synonym for "divorced." While this book's title is "Ugly Dumpling: A Memoir," the author is a beautiful writer nonetheless. Highly recommended.

[Steffi · Rating 5 out of 5]

Elaine grew up with her mother, and her two brothers. Her dad was present sporadically, her family moved from Hong Kong to Hawaii, and California.

She talks about the family financial struggles, her mom’s mental health, she recalls an episode when her mother visited one of her school friend late at night and begged the other mom for a letter to help her keep her job.

Her memoir is moving, as it is the story of many others. Elaine manages to set boundaries with her family to protect herself and her kids, but still has a relationship with her own mother and brothers.

A beautiful eye opening read.

[Shelagh Li · Rating 4 out of 5]

Ugly Dumpling is a poignant memoir written about the immigrant experience of a family from Hong Kong that first moves to Hawaii, then to the mainland. It captures the raw and gut-wrenching experience of a family struggling with financial hardship, unstable parent relationships, and mental health struggles swept under the rug. Many second-generation immigrant children will be able to relate to the struggles of the protagonist, as well as the constant second guessing and self-inflicted guilt.

Thank you to NetGalley for an advanced copy of this book.

[Karen · Rating 5 out of 5]

This memoir follows the author’s journey as a 4 year old girl to adulthood, from Hong Kong to Hawaii to California. Raised by a single mom with two older brothers, Yu shares her life honestly and openly. It’s heartbreaking, hopeful, and at times funny. This book doesn’t shy away from the realities of poverty and growing up with a mom with undiagnosed mental illness. This is a unique insight into Yu’s atypical Chinese American upbringing.

***I received this ARC in exchange for an honest review.

[Robert Einaudi · Rating 5 out of 5]

Immensely readable, relatable and deeply felt. As a fellow Gen Xer, there’s a lot to relate to here (and so many fun, authentic details) as she moves through time. I laughed when she got a C on a test in Calculus 43 at Stanford (I took Calculus 41 and got a D+). Highly recommended, especially for anyone interested in the messy and complicated world of family, children and parents.

I received an advance review copy from the author.

[Isabelle Chan · Rating 5 out of 5]

It was powerful reading about the struggles Elaine went through growing up and seeing the way she responded to difficult circumstances. As someone in the younger generation, her story helped me appreciate the sacrifices and hardships of my parents that allowed my siblings and I to grow up in a more secure way. Ugly Dumpling was full of interesting anecdotes that were intriguing and inspiring.

[Ice Angel · Rating 3 out of 5]

Thank you to NetGalley and Resolve Editions for the ARC.
It’s a memoir that highlights a coming of age story from poverty to living the good life and building a family.
It’s my first memoir of the year and I really did have a good time reading it. Very much thought provoking with very much important themes. I recommend.