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236 pages, Kindle Edition
First published April 17, 2014

“... Oh my Gawd! Does that offend you? Am I allowed to say you are beautiful? Because I hate to be sexist and only say women are beautiful and men are handsome. That’s so mean, isn’t it? Because I’ve known a lot of handsome women who I wouldn’t call beautiful. And there are men who—”
“Jay!”
“Huh?”
“Off track or something, are you?”
“What?”
I happily smiled at him. ...’![]()



And at the end of the day, if it came down to giving up Jay or giving up Dad, I wanted Jay in my future. Dad had been in my life for twenty-four years; it was Jay’s turn for the next twenty-four—or hopefully sixty-four.






I just wanted a glance at his outfit to see if I approved or cringed over his style today—I liked the ones that showed off his arse, not that I’m gay or anything.
Watching Jay’s overreaction to every situation he found himself in was more entertaining than prime-time TV.


“Jay was quick and unselfconscious about about shucking those tartan pants, but he still had to stand briefly, which put his cock at my eye level.
Shit! Oh fuck! Shit! Shit! Holy-mother-of-God!
It was simply a glimpse but it was burned into the back of my retinas. That half-a-second look was going to provide me with spank-the-monkey material for weeks!”
“When the man I loved was so close to me, what else could I do but put my arm around his shoulders in response? Then Jay had looked up at me and said, “I love you, Liam.”
I had looked down at him and said, “I love you, too. "
He’d smiled at me with devotion and I had responded with a look of complete adoration. And the photographer had snapped the picture, capturing that instant—two men gazing at each other, utterly in love. Jay loving me, and me… loving Jay.”

Pshaw, man! It's more like I had to realize that everyone else wasn't gay.I love this attitude and I wish more people had it.
...Missing the first train of the morning also meant I didn't get to see Jay. But I wasn't going to think about that. Because I am not gay. I don't notice other guys; I don't drool over them; I don't look forward to seeing their handsome face each morning; I don't dream about them every night; and I definitely don't get a hard-on thinking about one particular face. Nope! Not gay here at all.I laughed so hard at that, but it also made me sad. Liam knows he's gay but he also knows he could "pass." He has the choice to live a lie if that's what he wants. He’s spends time musing over why, if he has to be gay, can’t he like more “masculine” men, like his manly-man-thinks-with-his-dick-and-is-proud-of-it best friend Aaron. Why is he so attracted to Jay?
Much.
If I were in love with someone like Aaron, then my family could pretend that we were just friends and nothing would be said. We could be mates and even live together and no one would be any wiser unless we went around in public smooching or something.However, it’s Aaron who points out that being gay doesn’t make him less of a man:
Aaron sent me a look, shaking his head as if I was being stupid. “Excuse me? Aren’t you out here fishing at the moment? Didn’t you watch John play football yesterday? Don’t you have a cock and balls under those jeans? What part of that is not being a man?I love Aaron’s acceptance, though at the same time I feel a little impatient that everyone defines fishing and football as “manly” hobbies and Jay’s love of clothes as “feminine.” In our society, culture, we’ve decided that certain things belong to the sphere of men & certain things belong to the sphere of women. It’s bullshit, yet like Aaron & many of the other characters in this novel (including Liam’s supportive brothers) use such language frequently. I have a difficult time blaming them for this though, as I’m guilty of the same just as frequently. I’m working on it, though. (Dani and Meep mention the gender inequality in their reviews as well.)
"But he’s gorgeous—inside and out. You just need to weather the dramas to see it sometimes.”





“I looked at him, marveling that even up close he looked gorgeous. His lips looked full and totally kissable, and we were standing close enough that if I leaned in some, and he leaned some, our mouths would meet. Not that I wanted to kiss him or anything. I’m not gay.”


“He’d smiled at me with devotion and I had responded with a look of complete adoration. And the photographer had snapped the picture, capturing that instant—two men gazing at each other, utterly in love. Jay loving me, and me… loving Jay.”
