Att förlora Gemma

by Katy Gardner

"Esther and Gemma: friends since childhood. Esther - pretty, with a lust for life and a way of always getting what she wanted. Gemma - bookish and awkward, whose plans never worked out. When they went to India on the backpacking holiday of a lifetime, it was always going to be Esther's trip. She was the well-travelled one, the one in charge." "How did everything go so badly wrong?" Six years later, Esther returns to India, and the strange shrine they had visited at Agun Mazir. There she hopes to find the truth of what happened to her best friend, lay the dreadful ghosts of their time there together to rest. Was Gemma taken from her in the chaos, heat and confusion of a place where she was no longer in control? Or was she actually lost to Esther long before?

Genres: Fiction, Travel, India, Romance, Mystery, Friendship, Adventure

Unknown Binding

First published January 1, 2002

About the author

Katy Gardner is a British author, best known for her novel Losing Gemma, which was turned into a two part mini series for ITV1 in 2006. As well as writing, she also teaches Social Anthropology at Sussex University.
-Wikipedia

Reviews

[Melanie · Rating 3 out of 5]

When I read a book with unlikable characters it does not usually affect my rating but in this case did. Esther just really annoyed me. I know the story wouldn’t have worked without her bad personality traits though. I enjoy reading about India and I liked the story other than that. I felt the ending was quite good.

[Lena · Rating 4 out of 5]

This novel tells the story of two young British women who go to India to backpack around the country. Friends since childhood, they have grown apart over the years and the main character, Esther, is hoping the trip will help reconnect them. On their journey, her friend Gemma befriends an odd woman named Coral who is part of an obscure religious sect. Suspense builds slowly and deliberately as Esther finds herself in the role of third wheel and the gap between the two lifelong friends widens into a suddenly uncrossable chasm.

Gardener is a good storyteller and draws you deeply into the adventure of these two young women. But it was the ending that got to me the most. It is a stark reminder of how profoundly our lives can be affected by beliefs about reality that, once held up to the light of scrutiny, are not even true.

[Annet · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very fascinating and surrealisticly chilling story, especially for all those who went backpacking and met with 'weird' circumstances...
Kept turning the pages, really wanted to know how this story would end. Great read.

[Stephanie A. · Rating 3 out of 5]

Both girls are kinda, how do you say, self-absorbed and terrible (and I feel like there's a horrible underlying message about how childhood friendships aren't meant to last forever), but BOY does this book capture the exact spirit of an impulsive 23-year-old feminist postgrad in the late 80s who fancies themselves a Seasoned World Traveler and takes pride in going off the tourist track.

If you wish you could go back in time and jetset to India with a rucksack, an offbeat guidebook and a determination to love hostels, this features all the tools you need to take that vicarious trip. I don't even want to do that, and I still had a blast seeing India this way. (And then being glad I did not have to suffer the same constant heat/humidity without ready access to air conditioning and cold showers with good water pressure.)

It drags a fair amount after the time jump, where it would be nice to get to the answers about what happened to Gemma and Coral a bit faster, but the answers are pretty satisfactory. Meanwhile, a good attempt was made to show the difference just a few years can make in travel conditions and amenities, so I suppose that was worth it.

P.S. WOW does the cover edition make a difference. If I'd seen the the one with the half naked back-tattooed woman instead of the nostalgic photobooth images of the two friends, I would have dismissed it as some kind of scandalous sexy nonsense without even reading the back. I don't know if I have ever seen two such drastically different cover choices, but bless whoever had the sense to make this one and subconsciously instill the idea of this friendship having a solid base before I even opened it up.

[Ines Ricardo · Rating 2 out of 5]

Interessante no ponto de vida de desenvolvimento de relações de amizades de infância.

No entanto, na minha opinião as personagens principais eram super mimadas, superficiais e enervantes e o final foi demasiado previsível.

Achei também incrivelmente irrealista o facto da Ester apenas se recordar de vários pormenores relevantes em relação à morte da Gemma, 5 anos após o acontecimento.

[Li em formato físico]

[Tita · Rating 2 out of 5]

Tinha algumas expectativas com este livro pois há alguns anos alguém me disse que o tinha lido e adorado (não me recordo quem) mas nunca tinha surgido a oportunidade de o ler, até agora.
Esther e Gemma, duas grandes amigas, viajam até à Índia mas Gemma morre lá e, passados seis anos, Esther ainda tem muitas dúvidas sobre o que aconteceu.
Esta é a premissa e parece interessante, certo? Pelo menos, deixou-me muito curiosa. Mas assim que comecei a ler, tive muitas dúvidas se seria um livro para mim. Esther descreve-nos a viagem com muito pormenor, e como temos poucos diálogos e são algo repetitivos, comecei logo com a sensação de "revirar os olhos". Muito descritivo e chato.
A própria relação de amizade entre as duas personagens não me convenceu e achei muito forçada, e também a introdução de Carol na história contribuiu ainda mais para achar que as coisas não faziam sentido.
Tão pouco percebi o final e muito sinceramente não percebi o sentido da história.

[Filipa Maia · Rating 3 out of 5]

I was curious about this book since I first saw it. This is the perfect example why you should be very picky when choosing your traveling partners. You know how many people leave, but don't know how many will return. Anyway, this sounds much more dooming then the book itself... this book is a tragedy!

So, two friends leave on a trip, they fight, one leaves the other and, just like that, the abandoned friend is dead in the middle of the forest. Sounds like a very promising story, right? Well, somehow the entire book is very messy: Esther is so self-absorbed that is borderline crazy and Gemma is also self-centered in her own past... what in the hell makes this people decide to travel together? This is a tragedy even before it actually becomes one!

One thing that bothered me is the way Esther's mind works, even now (6 years after the events): she describes her 23-years-old self like being young and immature, being more like a teenager than an adult... later, describes her 30-years-old boyfriend like a middle age man... Apparently, we only have two options in life, being wild, crazy and immature ou responsible, well-balanced and old.

This may sound like I did not like this book, but that is not true. It was entertaining and I was very eager to know what happened to Gemma. Even though I did not like Esther, I thing the author made an excellent job describing her thoughts, expectations, anxieties, fears... and this is what made me hate her even more: the way she describes Gemma, the people around her, what she wants in life! Yeah, you are a terrible person. On the other hand (and without spoilers), we latter find out that Gemma is not "as innocent" as she seems. The revenge the she, intentionally or not, carried out is cruel and machiavellian.

So, if you are in a mood to hate a main character and feel sorry for the other, while they both travel to exotic places (to later have everything upside down) this is the book for you!

[Dawnene · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a good read and had me turning pages late into the night. The only hesitation I have on giving it 5* is that *SPOILER* when Gemma was "taken" by the cult/religious group there were inconsistencies that bothered me. They described the cult leader as a white man wearing buddhist monk robes and then they say that he has an Ashram and inside this Ashram were statues of Ganesha and Shiva......wrong religion (That is Hinduism) It bothered me and was a bit distracting but overall a great story about India and the dangers of traveling.

[Elizabeth · Rating 2 out of 5]

I struggled to enjoy this book for three reasons:
1) the main character is utterly unlikable
2) overly convenient plot points
3) I'm not sure the author has a legitimate understanding of how "best friends" function

[Melissa · Rating 3 out of 5]

Another book with what I thought was a lousy title that turned out to be a pretty meaningful title. The mystery of what was happening to the two main characters kept me turning pages, wondering if traveling through India could be remotely like this story and how much research the author must have done to get it all right. I enjoyed the twists and turns and that the book made me think -- but not too hard. I did not like the narrator. Ugh, she was awful and just as deluded about herself as the hippie chick with the breast bites.

The worst part about this book is that I found a typo on the first page of my library copy, and it made me pre-judge that the book would not be accurate, questioning everything I read. I did not find another typo. And I have no desire to go backpacking through Asia.

[Andreia Magalhães · Rating 3 out of 5]

ENG: A fascinating, dramatic and surprising story! Really interesting, though the characters are a bit bad, egoistic and self centered. Anyhow, it was a good read.

PT: Uma história fascinante, dramática e surpreendente! Bastante interessante, embora as personagens sejam um pouco más, egoístas e absorvidas em si mesmas. De qualquer forma, foi uma boa leitura.

[Joao Feiteira · Rating 3 out of 5]

Um livro marcante. Com algumas passagens muito duras. Tem um Plot que agarra o leitor logo desde início até as páginas finais onde é revelada a verdade sobre os acontecimentos .
Dou 3 estrelas porque houve algumas partes que me custaram mesmo muito a interiorizar

[Babs · Rating 3 out of 5]

My interest in this was originally piqued by the television programme that was on over the festive season. I thought it was a reasonable premise for a story, but that it had been badly executed, and when I heard there was a book of the story I couldn't wait to read it. People had said the book was better than the TV series, and they certainly were right! The TV programme only bore a passing resemblance to the book, which also made reading the novel much better for me.

Esther and Gemma have been friends since they were 5 years old, and after finishing university, set off to take a trip of a lifetime round India. They decide to let their travel guide decide where to take them, and after throwing it up in the air, it lands on a remote part of the country where there is a large temple and annual festival. Setting off on the train to Calcutta, Gemma suddenly realises she has lost the moneybelt containing both the girls passports, tickets and money for the trip. While the girls are panicking about their loss, an Australian traveller called Coral returns the moneybelt to them claiming she found it on the busy train platform. An uneasy friendship is struck up between the three girls, and all three end up heading to the remote temple. There, as relations between Gemma and Esther deteriorate, Gemma becomes closer to Coral, eventually pushing Esther away as their friendship grows. Esther, after an argument with Gemma, decides to leave the temple and leaves Gemma and Coral to their adventure. However, after returning to Calcutta and discovering the money they had left in a secure locker has disappeared, Esther realises Coral is not all she seems to be and dashes back to try and find Gemma.

This book has plenty of twists and turns to keep the reader enthralled, and is neatly split into two sections - the India trip and 6 years after. The ending is fast-paced and has a great sting in the tail.

[Rheo3000 · Rating 1 out of 5]

Holy hell ... this book is just jam packed with hateful characters who don't know how to act around other people. Every moment is filled with a sense of dread, which makes the introduction of anything actually dreadful 100% less dreadful. Most of the story was skimmed over in the worst way - two characters who seem like they used to be friends have 3 great days together, but they're written around - 'we had 3 great days' in favour of getting to the real meat of the story, which seems to be that of a depressed girl describing the forest or the road or what it's like to be on a train in India. It felt like the story had already been told by about the half way point so I felt no guilt at skimming the description in order to get to the story. And then the twist ... just when I thought I couldn't hate the characters more. My final beef - either give us insight into a character, or don't - don't try to use a literary device as a cheat because you don't know how to write interactions that reveal characters.

[Melissa Dally · Rating 3 out of 5]

Mostly an intriguing read, even if the main character was not terribly likable. I know there are lots of folks out there (not me tho, LOL) who would identify with the things she is going through.

One thing that needed edited out was the amount of times this happened:

Gemma: THIS HEAT IS TERRIBLE
Esther: ZOMG, Gemma complaining about the heat is SO ANNOYING.

Yes, Gemma doesn't like being overheated and Esther doesn't want to hear Gemma complain, but do we really need to replay this THAT many times?

[Suzanne · Rating 4 out of 5]

Is it bad that I noticed a typo on the very first page? The last line on the page says "It wall all my fault" (instead of "it was all my fault.")

Overall the book was pretty good... I love travelling and have lost some close friends through falling outs or just drifting apart, so I could relate to this book in a lot of ways. I enjoyed the book for the most part, although I found it a bit haunting. I hated the ending.

[Bridget · Rating 3 out of 5]

I read this book in 2002 and didn't think much of it at the time.
It's 2021 now and I keep remembering this story (after reading a longform about missing backpackers in Nepal, watching the Serpent on Netflix) and I keep remembering this book and trying to think of the title. I found it on a backpacker novel list so now I can re-read it and see why keeps it in my brain.

[Rachel · Rating 2 out of 5]

This was a random book I picked up at the library. The story held my interest somewhat and at some points you think it is going to get really good and then towards the end of the book you figure out the ending and it was sort of disappointing.

[Dorothy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved, loved, loved this book; so unique; left a lasting impression

[Adelaide Silva · Rating 3 out of 5]

Foi a altura ideal para ler este livro, agora que as fronteiras estão fechadas e não conseguimos viajar. Este livro revelou-se o motivo pelo qual a India foi um país que nunca me atraiu

[Azeeza · Rating 3 out of 5]

.
The first half of this book was so good, gripping in fact. Had my heart racing, had me flipping pages wondering what would happen next.
The second part was slow, annoying and filled with plot holes covered up with "coincidences".
.
Coincidence 1: The plane developed a fault in India.
2: Esther met that girl at the station.
3. That girl willingly gave Esther the address to find Coral
4. Esther saw Zak in the bus.
So many coincidences and it annoyed me. 😣
.
I love the story anyways, I just wished the author worked more on the plot in the second half. And there were many unnecessary details and descriptions in the book. Some chapters were not needed in my honest opinion.
.
Losing Gemma, as the title implied is a story of how Esther lost her childhood friend—Gemma, during their backpacking holiday to India. Esther had something going on with Steve- Gemma's crush back in England and this plus the unspoken resentment between the two led to a huge fight in India. Gemma and Esther separated after the fight and when Esther went back to look for Gemma in the room she had left her , she was gone.
.
Back in England, she lived a miserable life until 5 years later when the plane to Thailand broke down in India. Now, miserable Esther who couldn't let go of the past had a chance to find out the truth of what really happened to Gemma. That truth irked me a lot. The realization that perhaps, we only know little about the people we think we really know.
.
.
A tale of friendship, travel, betrayal, love, culture told from the perspective of Esther; pretty, adventurous and got-it-all Esther.

[Patricia De Boer · Rating 4 out of 5]

I red this book twenty years ago and thought it was very good.
Now I came across the book as a second-hand one, and because the story had captivated me so much at the time, I decided to take it with me and reread it.
Still a good story!
For those who like stories about travel and backpacking, friendship and other cultures with an exciting storyline, this book is definitely recommended!

Esther and Gemma have been friends since they were children.
Once they are young adults, the two friends decide to take a trip to India.
Esther is very decisive, wants everything to happen her way and also thinks she is the smartest and nicest of the two.
Esther feels like a seasoned traveler while she considers Gemma to be inexperienced.
But India is very overwhelming and takes both women by surprise.
Small irritations arise and the atmosphere between Esther and Gemma changes. Especially when they meet Coral. An Australian traveler who has been wandering through Asia for years. It drives Esther and Gemma even further apart and eventually Esther returns to England alone.
Disillusioned and with questions about what happened between the two friends and what happened to Gemma who she left behind with Coral, she suffers her live back in her hometown.

[Mat · Rating 2 out of 5]

“Losing Gemma” talks about two childhood friends who travel to India. One of them hides a big secret from the other and lives in fear that her friend will find out. On this trip, many things go wrong and this adventure becomes very different from what they originally imagined.

This book fell short of my expectations. Its greatest strength is that it addresses how a friendship can evolve and how it changes when you are a child and when you are an adult. About 80% of the book is quite "stationary" and without much story; in the last 20% of the pages it gives the feeling that the book is dispatched to give an ending. The ending itself is unexpected, but it doesn't make much sense.

[Melytheapple · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very interesting book. The only thing that I dislike of this book is the presence of useless scenes. For example, when Esther and Gemma reached passed a few days doing nothing at Bubaneshwar, saying just “Then, when they reached Bubaneshwar, they started to feel bad, indeed they have passed a few days on the bed except the last when they went to visit ruins of old temples” was enough instead of wasting entire pages only for this.
Without these ones the book could be long half then it actually is

[Nikki · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book really resonated with me because of how I lost my best friend. Obviously very different circumstances on how we drifted apart from the characters of the book but the emotions involved were the same. The ending felt like a knife to the heart. I could relate to both Esther and Gemma, but in the end I empathized most with Gemma and what she did to cut off Esther, even if it was cruel. I couldn’t put this book down and it was an easy read, one I won’t forget and will probably come back to read again.

[Emma Thomas · Rating 4 out of 5]

Totally addictive ... one of those books you just can’t put out of your mind and have to finish as soon as you’ve started. I loved it. I have just one irritating gripe, and it’s probably an issue for the copy editor, but the subjunctive form is all wrong all the way through. ‘If she was’ this and ‘if she was’ that... really gets on my nerves. Otherwise though, totally brilliant. I know it’s a book I will remember for a long time to come.

[Julianne · Rating 3 out of 5]

Interesting fictional travelogue of sorts... never quite get the straight on whether mental illness or other systemic illness might have played a role in all the parts of this story, which dismays me. Still, I enjoyed picking this novel up every night for my bedtime reading and finished it much more promptly than the previous book I was reading! Except for the unfortunate COVID ramp-up in India at the moment, it does make me want to travel there one day - sounds rugged and beautiful.

[Deb Lancaster · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this YEARS ago, way back when it first came out and it's always stuck with me. I think it's the whole idea of having a friend you think you know, and it turns out you don't know them at all that resonated.

It's just as good years later and from a far older and wiser perspective. It rings particularly true when describing the student/traveller vibe back then, I know loads of people who could have been Esther and Gemma.

Glad I read it again.

[Loulou · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fantastic story. Two girls go backpacking to India. But somehow amidst the heat and confusion only one comes back. So what did happen to the other ? A gripping book that ramps up the tension and that ever creeping feeling of unease as the story unfolds and delivered one last surprise at the end. Brilliant 👍👍👍

[Kristi · Rating 3 out of 5]

This started out with the potential to be a good story, but really fell off the rails in the middle. I didn't enjoy the narrator, and found it hard to slog through her overwrought drama to get to the actual story. I love a good twist, and almost never figure out the truth before the narrator, but this was one was pretty transparent. I only kept reading to confirm I was right.