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A Fearless Heart: How the Courage to Be Compassionate Can Transform Our Lives
The Buddhist practice of mindfulness caught on in the west when we began to understand the everyday, personal benefits it brought us. Now, in this extraordinary book, the highly acclaimed thought leader and longtime English translator of His Holiness the Dalai Lama shows us that compassion can bring us even more. Based on the landmark course in compassion training Jinpa helped create at Stanford Medical School, A Fearless Heart shows us that we actually fear compassion. We worry that if we are too compassionate with others we will be taken advantage of, and if we are too compassionate with ourselves we will turn into slackers. Using science, insights from both classical Buddhist and western psychology, and stories both from others and from his own extraordinary life, Jinpa shows us how to train our compassion muscle to relieve stress, fight depression, improve our health, achieve our goals, and change our world.
Practical, spiritual, and immediately relevant, A Fearless Heart will speak to readers of The Art of Happiness and Wherever You Go, There You Are.
Practical, spiritual, and immediately relevant, A Fearless Heart will speak to readers of The Art of Happiness and Wherever You Go, There You Are.
290 pages, Kindle Edition
First published March 1, 2015
362 people are currently reading
3027 people want to read
About the author
Thupten Jinpa
78 books111 followersGeshe Thupten Jinpa Langri, Ph.D., is the senior translator for His Holiness the Dalai Lama and Pesident of the Institute of Tibetan Classics. His works include the translation of twelve books by the Dalai Lama.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 94 reviews
June 17, 2015
The content of this book was exactly what I needed at this time. I work in a profession that serves the public, where there are great challenges on a daily basis as well as a constant negative mindset of those we are serving. This can cause it's own negative cycle of thinking and stress in those of us working with those individuals. The meditations in this book, and how to slowly grow your circle of compassion outward is a necessary and vital nutrient for the future positive growth and evolution of man kind on this Earth. It is necessary for those of us giving care to those who can't help themselves, or choose not to etc...When I read the part of how to deal with difficult people, I just kept hearing the "ding, ding, ding...we have a winner....aha moment!" It spoke volumes to me, as a matter of fact, the whole book did. If you are looking to be more compassionate just in general or in your profession, this book and the gleens of insight inside, will definitely be worth your time and the read. Thanks for gifting me this book in the goodreads giveaway. I absolutely loved it, and needed to read this; so thankful that it was placed into my hands at just the right time. With gratitude!
November 10, 2018
I first learned of the author by reading his translations of works by the Dalai Lama. His writing is so clear that when I heard he had written his own book, I wanted to read it right away.
The key insight in this book is that compassion is a practice that can be taught, and taught to almost anyone. Just as Jon Kabat-Zinn packaged mindfulness into the MBSR program that's taught in hospitals, Thupten Jinpa created a program at Stanford that helps people put ancient wisdom into everyday practice, and backs it up with controlled studies to validate the benefits.
Developing such a program is extremely powerful and valuable. I'm eager to learn more about it.
The key insight in this book is that compassion is a practice that can be taught, and taught to almost anyone. Just as Jon Kabat-Zinn packaged mindfulness into the MBSR program that's taught in hospitals, Thupten Jinpa created a program at Stanford that helps people put ancient wisdom into everyday practice, and backs it up with controlled studies to validate the benefits.
Developing such a program is extremely powerful and valuable. I'm eager to learn more about it.
December 4, 2021
Thupten Jinpa lived some of his life at the Bylakuppe Tibetan settlement, close to my hometown of Bangalore, and a place I visit often. I thought of that when I read this book, for no other reason than that this shows just how interconnected our world is. I pick up a book at random from a former monk now with a family in Montreal, and find out that he was so close to Bangalore.
Jinpa offers some simple and easy exercises on compassion. Most of them I knew, but it’s always reassuring to refresh your stagnant knowledge and practice. A lot of the work here is devoted to self-compassion. I would have liked a bit more on how to develop compassion for those who harm us.
Jinpa offers some simple and easy exercises on compassion. Most of them I knew, but it’s always reassuring to refresh your stagnant knowledge and practice. A lot of the work here is devoted to self-compassion. I would have liked a bit more on how to develop compassion for those who harm us.
April 2, 2019
Big Ideas:
+ Definition of compassion
- “A sense of concern that arises when we are confronted with another’s suffering and feel motivated to see that suffering relieved” (xx)
- This makes me think of Bishop Barron’s definition of love as “willing the good of the other”
- Notice this definition does not specify what you must do in response to this sense of concern, allowing for many paths for expressing and acting on compassion, using wisdom in context to determine the best course
+ Compassion Cultivation Training (CCT) as developed at Stanford involves:
1. Outlook
2. Awareness
3. Capacity for empathy
4. Behavior
+ The process of compassion (114):
- Intention
- Motivation
- Attention
- Loving-kindness (the wish for happiness) and compassion (the wish for freedom from suffering)
- Acts of kindness
+ Empathy vs. compassion
- Empathy is experiencing the same feelings as another person, compassion is the desire for that person to be free from suffering
- “What we call ‘compassion fatigue’ should actually be framed more accurately as ‘empathy fatigue,’ with compassion offering a way out” (217)
+ Exercises to improve compassion
- Set an intention in the morning, then do a dedication/reflection in the evening to assess how you did. Find at least one thing to take joy in; acknowledge your shortcomings with resolve to try again the next day. This transforms extrinsic motivation into intrinsic motivation
+ Awareness of awareness (107)
- “meta” comes from the Greek meaning “beyond,” and follows the pattern of “x of/about x,” exs: metacognition is thinking about thinking, metadata is data about data, meta-awareness is awareness of awareness
+ Research on compassion as an innate quality
- Warneken and Tomasello: “Children were willing to help even when doing so involved hardship and interrupting their play. Interestingly they also found that rewarding the children was counterproductive. The children who were rewarded for helping were later less likely to help those who had never been rewarded. Studies also show that infants as young as six months demonstrate clear preferences for toys that enact helping behavior rather than hindering” (10-11)
Potent Quotables:
Our capacity for empathy, compassion, kindness, and altruistic behavior is inborn, rather than acquired through socialization or cultural exposure. Only later, through socialization, do we begin to differentiate between those who are worthy of our kindness and those who are not. (11)
“We let ourselves be at the mercy of our thoughts
and our thoughts at the mercy of our negative emotions,
in this way we undermine ourselves.” Tibetan Saying (89)
“Choice of attention - to pay attention to this or to ignore that - is to the inner life what choice is to the outer life.” W. H. Auden (89)
When we’re thinking about ourselves, we tend to think we’re more important than we are, and feel there’s more at stake than there actually is. (92)
The point [of mindfulness] is not to stop our thoughts or feelings from arising - this would be impossible. The point is to learn to be with them, with enough awareness that we can watch them go by. With more space comes more perspective: We can have thoughts, and see them for what they are, rather than be our thoughts. (95)
To quiet the mind is to relax the mind. We learn to unhook our awareness from the restless, tiresome activity of habitual thought patterns and from our instinctive and automatic emotional reactions to these. We learn to quiet the ceaseless internal chatter of what-ifs, and we learn to let go of the over-interpreting, ruminating, and clinging to our experiences that we tend to do even when the experiences themselves have long gone. A quiet(er) mind is a place we can more readily be present, which makes us available to care for ourselves and others.
When we focus the mind, we rein in its natural tendency to wander, thus freeing up mental resources that would otherwise dissipate willy-nilly. More important, we learn to bring attention to what we truly value. Paying closer attention leads to greater awareness and understanding of our own and other people’s experience - crucial for arousing our natural capacity for empathy. (111)
* Although we might never be free of pain and suffering, how we respond to suffering can have a huge impact, both for ourselves and for those around us. In the face of suffering, we can give up and wallow in (self-)pity and despair. Or we can close up and harden our heart. Alternatively, we could choose to be with our predicament and emerge from our experience a little wiser, a little more patient, and a little kinder. Compassion practice helps us choose this wiser course, in our engagement with the very human condition of suffering. (132)
When we look, we can always find opportunities to express our compassionate side through kindness in our everyday life. The question is not whether I am compassionate; rather, the question is: Will I make the choice to express the more compassionate part of me? Whether we live our lives with compassion, whether we relate to ourselves, others, and the world around us from a place of compassion, understanding, and kindness is up to us.” (233)
May 12, 2018
This book offers an accessible introduction to compassion as an important value and practice. The value of compassion is convincingly shown by the backing that is provided from Buddhist and Western philosophy, as due to the evidence that is provided from the modern life and social sciences. It is nice to read that the best of two worlds are being brought together with the purpose to improve people's wellbeing.
The exercises in the book are as accessible as the book itself and challenges the reader to apply compassion in daily life. The proof and examples that are offered in the book regarding the positive effects of compassion help to motivate you doing these exercises.
The book is a worthwhile read for anyone who seeks to create a more compassionate world.
The exercises in the book are as accessible as the book itself and challenges the reader to apply compassion in daily life. The proof and examples that are offered in the book regarding the positive effects of compassion help to motivate you doing these exercises.
The book is a worthwhile read for anyone who seeks to create a more compassionate world.
July 29, 2025
Allereerst: een applaus voor de auteur die zijn devotie voor het begrip compassie deelt, een woord dat voor velen niet meer is dan een abstractie.
De individualistische samenleving waarin we verkeren bedekt compassie met een zware sluier die maar moeilijk te verwijderen is, de algemene levensloop die van ons word spoort niet aan tot bekommering om onze naasten.
Thupten Jinpa daarintegen, heeft zijn wortels liggen in Tibet. Waar in tegenstelling tot het westen, compassie een absoluut fundament is. De Tibetanen zijn niet vies van het beoefenen en belichamen van compassie, het volk staat zelfs bekend om het opwekken van compassie voor China, het rijk dat de Tibetanen (nog steeds) ontneemt van hun verdiende bestaan.
Het boek heeft een interessante invalshoek vanwege Thupten’s leven. Al kort na zijn geboorte is zijn gezin gevlucht voor de door China gepleegde genocide naar Dharamsala, een stad in noord India waar vele Tibetanen toentertijd (en nog steeds) hebben gevestigd. Op zijn 11e is hij een boeddhistische monnik geworden en heeft hij in een kloostergemeenschap gewoont tot zijn 30e. Vanwege zijn exceptionele vordering tot het spreken van Engels is hij de vertaler van de Dalai Lama hemzelf geweest, een baan die hij zo’n 14 jaar met trots heeft gehad. Naast zijn kunde in de Engelse taal had Thupten een degelijke interesse in de westerse wereld en is uiteindelijk ook vertrokken uit India om aan de universiteit te studeren in Cambridge.
Omdat Thupten zowel de traditionele Tibetaanse kijk op de wereld heeft als de westerse, creëert hij een brug die voor mensen over de hele wereld beschikbaar is, buiten het boeddhisme om. Natuurlijk, het boeddhisme word aardig wat besproken in het boek maar ik heb niet het idee dat je veel van het boeddhisme moet weten, of een volgeling er van te zijn, om de inhoud te vatten.
Wat eigen is aan de westerse psychologie, is dat we bewijs, uitleg en onderzoek nodig hebben voordat we de dingen aanvaarden. Thupten heeft gebruik gemaakt van dit idee en versterkt het begrip compassie met vele onderzoeksresultaten. Omdat hij gebruik maakt van anekdotes uit zijn eigen leven en uit die van zijn ervaringen met de compassietraining, is het ook een prettig boek om te lezen verder.
Het boek zit vol met ondervindingen zoals het feit dat compassie aangeboren is, stress verminderd is, ons jong houd, jaloezie oplost, onze hersenstam versterkt, onze trots opzij zet en nog vele andere aspecten die ons leven het geluk brengen dat alle levende wezens verdienen.
Thutpen is natuurlijk tientallen jaren monnik geweest en dit resulteert in een deel van het boek dat volledig gewijd is aan meditaties die compassie en vriendelijkheid opwekt. Je word zelfs uitgenodigd om compassie te voelen voor je grootste vijand en uiteindelijk de hele wereld.
Compassie laat ons zien dat iedereen lijdt,
dat iedereen begeertes heeft — dat iedereen boos is, verdrietig, zelfzuchtig, getraumatiseerd en simpelweg; mens. Vaak kunnen we verstrikt raken in ideeën zoals waarom overkomt mij dit? Waarom ik? Ik wil meer geld, ik wil vrolijk zijn, ik wil beroemd zijn, ik wil een partner vinden en nog meer ik-gerelateerde concepten. Maar wat we vergeten is dat we allemaal in het zelfde schuitje zitten. Als we dit besef beoefenen kunnen we beter met elkaar omgaan en de harmonie stichtten die het aardse leven nodig heeft.
De individualistische samenleving waarin we verkeren bedekt compassie met een zware sluier die maar moeilijk te verwijderen is, de algemene levensloop die van ons word spoort niet aan tot bekommering om onze naasten.
Thupten Jinpa daarintegen, heeft zijn wortels liggen in Tibet. Waar in tegenstelling tot het westen, compassie een absoluut fundament is. De Tibetanen zijn niet vies van het beoefenen en belichamen van compassie, het volk staat zelfs bekend om het opwekken van compassie voor China, het rijk dat de Tibetanen (nog steeds) ontneemt van hun verdiende bestaan.
Het boek heeft een interessante invalshoek vanwege Thupten’s leven. Al kort na zijn geboorte is zijn gezin gevlucht voor de door China gepleegde genocide naar Dharamsala, een stad in noord India waar vele Tibetanen toentertijd (en nog steeds) hebben gevestigd. Op zijn 11e is hij een boeddhistische monnik geworden en heeft hij in een kloostergemeenschap gewoont tot zijn 30e. Vanwege zijn exceptionele vordering tot het spreken van Engels is hij de vertaler van de Dalai Lama hemzelf geweest, een baan die hij zo’n 14 jaar met trots heeft gehad. Naast zijn kunde in de Engelse taal had Thupten een degelijke interesse in de westerse wereld en is uiteindelijk ook vertrokken uit India om aan de universiteit te studeren in Cambridge.
Omdat Thupten zowel de traditionele Tibetaanse kijk op de wereld heeft als de westerse, creëert hij een brug die voor mensen over de hele wereld beschikbaar is, buiten het boeddhisme om. Natuurlijk, het boeddhisme word aardig wat besproken in het boek maar ik heb niet het idee dat je veel van het boeddhisme moet weten, of een volgeling er van te zijn, om de inhoud te vatten.
Wat eigen is aan de westerse psychologie, is dat we bewijs, uitleg en onderzoek nodig hebben voordat we de dingen aanvaarden. Thupten heeft gebruik gemaakt van dit idee en versterkt het begrip compassie met vele onderzoeksresultaten. Omdat hij gebruik maakt van anekdotes uit zijn eigen leven en uit die van zijn ervaringen met de compassietraining, is het ook een prettig boek om te lezen verder.
Het boek zit vol met ondervindingen zoals het feit dat compassie aangeboren is, stress verminderd is, ons jong houd, jaloezie oplost, onze hersenstam versterkt, onze trots opzij zet en nog vele andere aspecten die ons leven het geluk brengen dat alle levende wezens verdienen.
Thutpen is natuurlijk tientallen jaren monnik geweest en dit resulteert in een deel van het boek dat volledig gewijd is aan meditaties die compassie en vriendelijkheid opwekt. Je word zelfs uitgenodigd om compassie te voelen voor je grootste vijand en uiteindelijk de hele wereld.
Compassie laat ons zien dat iedereen lijdt,
dat iedereen begeertes heeft — dat iedereen boos is, verdrietig, zelfzuchtig, getraumatiseerd en simpelweg; mens. Vaak kunnen we verstrikt raken in ideeën zoals waarom overkomt mij dit? Waarom ik? Ik wil meer geld, ik wil vrolijk zijn, ik wil beroemd zijn, ik wil een partner vinden en nog meer ik-gerelateerde concepten. Maar wat we vergeten is dat we allemaal in het zelfde schuitje zitten. Als we dit besef beoefenen kunnen we beter met elkaar omgaan en de harmonie stichtten die het aardse leven nodig heeft.
September 28, 2021
Thupten Jinpa é um ex-monge budista, professor na Universidade McGill, no Canadá e tradutor do Dalai Lama. Na Universidade Stanford, Jinpa ajudou a conceber o “Treinamento de Cultivo da Compaixão” (em inglês, CCT), cujas principais lições são reunidas neste livro.
O livro é laico e o autor busca deixar isso claro. No entanto, ele não nega a inspiração do método ser claramente budista. Juntamente da bondade amorosa, da alegria empática e da equanimidade, a compaixão é uma das quatro qualidades incomensuráveis — isto é, aquelas que, segundo o budismo, nunca se tem em demasia. Diferentemente de empatia, “[…] sentir por (ou junto de) outra pessoa e entender seus sentimentos”, a compaixão é “[…] mais do que apenas uma resposta empática à situação. […] A compaixão é o que permite que nossa reação empática se manifeste na forma de bondade.”
Assim, as técnicas de meditação apresentadas por Jinpa, que seguem a linha do que se convencionou chamar “mindfulness”, têm por objetivo o cultivo de uma resposta compassiva frente ao mundo, às pessoas e a si mesmo. A noção de compaixão funciona para que reconheçamos que todos nós partilhamos a humanidade. E isso, em um primeiro momento, significa aprendermos a nos perdoarmos. “Como diz o Dalai Lama, perdoar não significa esquecer o que nos fizeram. Se esquecemos, não há o que perdoar. O perdão se dirige à pessoa, não a suas ações.” Isso, entretanto, é insuficiente. Afinal, “[a] preocupação excessiva conosco torna nossas mentes frágeis e hipersensíveis à menor coisa que possa ser percebida como uma ameaça. […] um estado de mente compassivo é necessariamente menos preocupado consigo, mais relaxado, menos inibido. Não é exagero dizer que é nossa conexão com os outros o que nos torna livres.”
Um receio que possuía era se a compaixão não levaria à leniência. E não. “Ser compassivo não nos torna tímidos nem tolerantes com a injustiça. Na verdade, em nível social, uma resposta verdadeiramente compassiva à injustiça deriva de um sentido de profunda indignação moral — uma forma construtiva de raiva.” Ler isso contribuiu para que eu me livrasse, neste livro, do ranço que possuo contra autoajuda.
Por fim, a ideia de que “[…] a compaixão “não é algo heroico — ela é humana”. Sendo ação (diferentemente da empatia), a compaixão está para além de qualquer livro; ela deve ser posta em prática. Cabe-nos então, a todo momento, escolhermos expressar a parte mais compassiva de nós.
O livro é laico e o autor busca deixar isso claro. No entanto, ele não nega a inspiração do método ser claramente budista. Juntamente da bondade amorosa, da alegria empática e da equanimidade, a compaixão é uma das quatro qualidades incomensuráveis — isto é, aquelas que, segundo o budismo, nunca se tem em demasia. Diferentemente de empatia, “[…] sentir por (ou junto de) outra pessoa e entender seus sentimentos”, a compaixão é “[…] mais do que apenas uma resposta empática à situação. […] A compaixão é o que permite que nossa reação empática se manifeste na forma de bondade.”
Assim, as técnicas de meditação apresentadas por Jinpa, que seguem a linha do que se convencionou chamar “mindfulness”, têm por objetivo o cultivo de uma resposta compassiva frente ao mundo, às pessoas e a si mesmo. A noção de compaixão funciona para que reconheçamos que todos nós partilhamos a humanidade. E isso, em um primeiro momento, significa aprendermos a nos perdoarmos. “Como diz o Dalai Lama, perdoar não significa esquecer o que nos fizeram. Se esquecemos, não há o que perdoar. O perdão se dirige à pessoa, não a suas ações.” Isso, entretanto, é insuficiente. Afinal, “[a] preocupação excessiva conosco torna nossas mentes frágeis e hipersensíveis à menor coisa que possa ser percebida como uma ameaça. […] um estado de mente compassivo é necessariamente menos preocupado consigo, mais relaxado, menos inibido. Não é exagero dizer que é nossa conexão com os outros o que nos torna livres.”
Um receio que possuía era se a compaixão não levaria à leniência. E não. “Ser compassivo não nos torna tímidos nem tolerantes com a injustiça. Na verdade, em nível social, uma resposta verdadeiramente compassiva à injustiça deriva de um sentido de profunda indignação moral — uma forma construtiva de raiva.” Ler isso contribuiu para que eu me livrasse, neste livro, do ranço que possuo contra autoajuda.
Por fim, a ideia de que “[…] a compaixão “não é algo heroico — ela é humana”. Sendo ação (diferentemente da empatia), a compaixão está para além de qualquer livro; ela deve ser posta em prática. Cabe-nos então, a todo momento, escolhermos expressar a parte mais compassiva de nós.
July 16, 2022
This a personal favourite of mine, and such an important topic in terms of behaviour change; it's a perfect combination of Kristin Neff's work on self compassion (one of my favourite methods to teach in workshops and uni tutorials), Kahnemans thinking fast & slow (applied to compassion and how to make it a habit and automatic) and teachings from the Dalai Lama (The Book of Joy is also one of my favourite in terms of life wisom).
Great book to read if you have been convinced compassion can be taught, but need the back up to proof it and argue for it; all in this book!
Great book to read if you have been convinced compassion can be taught, but need the back up to proof it and argue for it; all in this book!
June 5, 2015
A book worth reading. While backed up by solid research the book is very readable regardless of experience level. The exercises are clear and easy to do. I loved the sections on self compassion which is a concept most people are not aware of let alone practice. This is a good read!
June 29, 2019
A absolutely must read if you are interested in understanding and living a more compassionate existence. Thupten, a former monk holds a Ph.D. From Cambridge and has been the translator to the Dalai Lama for almost 30 years. He skillfully walks us through his personal stories and learning experiences as a novice in a small monastery in Asia. Between science facts, and contemplative knowledge, Thupten Jinpa brings a unique perspective on the revolutionary power of a Compassionate and Fearless heart.
The many mindfulness tools described by the author have the purpose to exercise our compassionate muscles and deepen our awareness about ourselves and how we relate to each other and other sentient beings.
In a World emerged in disarray and ego systemic values, The fearless heart proposes a different anchoring of Ethical Values, based on the Compassionate training and the education of the heart.
The many mindfulness tools described by the author have the purpose to exercise our compassionate muscles and deepen our awareness about ourselves and how we relate to each other and other sentient beings.
In a World emerged in disarray and ego systemic values, The fearless heart proposes a different anchoring of Ethical Values, based on the Compassionate training and the education of the heart.
April 7, 2021
One of the surprising things about starting meditation late last year was how metta meditation made me much more patient with other people and with myself. It also probably led me to greater empathy and understanding than any other practice, philosophy, prayer, or instruction. This book explores various metta meditations along with a little insight into the life of Thupten Jinpa, who was the Dalai Lama's English translator for a long time.
February 15, 2022
Excellent book on compassion. Would recommend to anyone curious about compassion or seeking peace in their life.
I have many markings throughout the book and all the exercises flagged for a quick return.
I took the CCT (Cultivating Compassion Training) Jinpa mentions in the book in 2020 and reading through this book brought a lot of the training back to me. Found the book grounding for me and helped to restore some hope.
I have many markings throughout the book and all the exercises flagged for a quick return.
I took the CCT (Cultivating Compassion Training) Jinpa mentions in the book in 2020 and reading through this book brought a lot of the training back to me. Found the book grounding for me and helped to restore some hope.
November 19, 2020
This book is scripture for me! Love Jinpa. Fortunate to have met him in person. I have this book autographed by him and it is one that I would save in a fire.
All the exercises are freely available in this book - accessibility for those that cannot spend $$$ to go to the 8-week course.
All the exercises are freely available in this book - accessibility for those that cannot spend $$$ to go to the 8-week course.
September 9, 2017
I read this as part of the Stanford Compassion Cultivation Training. I found it reinforced the lessons gleaned from the course and the course meditations.
April 20, 2025
me ha encantado. No le pongo 5 estrellas porque ya sabía bastantes cosas de las que habla, por un curso que estoy dando de compasión. Pero vamos, muuuuy recomendable. Además, la vida de este señor es interesantísima.
March 8, 2017
I read this book for a class, but I'm so glad I got the chance to read it! It's all about compassion and how we can develop it better. It was very interesting because it talked a lot about the science behind compassion and compassionate acts (it's getting a lot more attention in the scientific world lately). It also discussed why we may be hesitant or not feel compassion and suggested ways to help overcome that. The author was a Buddhist monk, and because of his background, there are many mindfulness exercises that include meditation. However, anyone of any religion or even no religion can utilize this information. The world needs more love and compassion, and this book gives some great ways to make that happen! It was easy to read and very useful. I definitely recommend it!
December 8, 2021
Favorite quote: "The pain of losing what we have, not finding what we desire, getting what we do not want - these are part and parcel of what it means to live. They are essential aspects of our common human experience. They do not come about because somehow we failed to get things right. And our happiness lies not on avoiding pain and sorrow, but in not letting them disturb our basic equilibrium. The calm of allowing, at least for a moment, the way things are. The sooner we make peace with them, the sooner we can stop reacting and start living with compassion for ourselves and others."
July 19, 2017
Hands down the best book I have read so far on compassion. The author manages to write the entire book in an honest, humble, and light-hearted style....while coming across as an authority on the matter.
What I find especially interesting is the mix of learning from contemplative practice and psychology. It is fascinating to see modern scientific methods confirm what the buddhist monks have known for centuries.
What I find especially interesting is the mix of learning from contemplative practice and psychology. It is fascinating to see modern scientific methods confirm what the buddhist monks have known for centuries.
May 14, 2018
Dr. Thupten Jinpa is a gental man with a drive to make compassion the standard for seeing, understanding and living in the world. Each one of us is born with the spark of compassion but we do not typically grow it or use it in expanded ways. Why not? This book explores that question but also gives us practical ways of growing compassion starting with self compassion and compassion for the other and community.
February 3, 2018
I love this book 💕 An excellent exploration of compassion and its importance in our human experience. It includes science of compassion and practical exercises for cultivating compassion. Written by the lead author of Compassion Cultivation Training, Thupten Jinpa, PhD. I highly recommend this book.
November 21, 2015
A fascinating look at compassion and compassion training, the impact it has on individuals, and the impact it could have on every corner of our lives and our society. Profound insights from an author I deeply respect.
February 16, 2018
In A Fearless Heart: How the Courage to Be Compassionate Can Transform Our Lives, Dr. Thupten Jinpa offers a practical guide to creating change through Buddhist-inspired compassion practices. Dr. Jinpa is a former Buddhist monk, who left the monastic life to pursue higher education, completing a Ph.D. in religious studies at Cambridge University. He has been the principal English language translator for His Holiness the Dalai Lama for a many years. While he weaves in his own experiences to reinforce various concepts relevant to compassion, this is not a book about his own story. Rather, the major focus is the elements Compassion Cultivation Training, a standardized secular compassion training program that he was involved in developing at Stanford University.
While the author’s approach is steeped in Tibetan Buddhist tradition, he makes it very accessible for non-spiritual audiences. He provides clear explanations of relevant terminology, and incorporates a variety of concepts and research findings from the field of psychology, often pointing out the parallels to classical Buddhist thought. Some ideas will be familiar to those who have done cognitive behavioural therapy work, such as distinguishing between observations and evaluations, and recognizing that thoughts are not who we are.
Dr. Jinpa describes three elements of compassion: perceiving another’s suffering or need, emotionally connecting with the suffering/need, and wishing to see that situation may relieved. Empathy involves the first two of these elements, and is a complex phenomenon in the brain that appears to involve the limbic system, attachment system, and pain matrix. Dr. Jinpa explains that “compassion acknowledges the fundamental truth of our human condition that not all pain can be fixed… In many situations, it’s not fixing that is needed; rather, it’s our empathic response, our acceptance, understanding, and solidarity.”
The importance of self-compassion is emphasized throughout the book. A free online self-compassion test is mentioned, which can be found at https://centerformsc.org/learn-msc/ta.... The test breaks down scores on scales of self-kindness, self-judgment, common humanity, isolation, mindfulness, and over-identification. I completed the test, and scored particularly low in the areas of common humanity, isolation, and over-identification. This helps point me in the direction of the type of work that I need to focus on.
Dr. Jinpa explains that while the practice of self-compassion and the capacity to self-soothe and regulate emotions is heavily influenced by experiences and attachment early in life, the capacity for compassion is innate and therefore growth and change are possible. Self-compassion work includes cultivating both compassion (a wish to be free from suffering) and loving-kindness (a wish for happiness) towards ourselves, with a goal to cultivate the capacity to genuinely accept and care for ourselves and a profound appreciation of our natural and legitimate aspiration to kindness. The book offers specific, uncomplicated exercises to build skills in these areas.
Self-hatred is something that many of us living with mental illness have experienced at some point or another, and Dr. Jinpa offers an interesting view on this. He states that self-hatred comes from actually caring a great deal, but being unable to accept/forgive imperfect selves. As a result, people hide behind the “layers of armor we put on when we feel like we’re under attack”. When approaching self-forgiveness, Dr. Jinpa suggests that it is important to acknowledge the legitimacy of unmet needs that prompted the behaviour in question, which I found very powerful.
The Tibetan practice of “tonglen” (literally “giving and receiving”) is offered as an active compassion meditation. It involves breathing in another’s suffering (while visualizing dark clouds or smoke) and breathing out happiness and good fortune (visualizing white clouds and light). Rather than drawing us into another’s pain, this voluntary taking on of another’s suffering is presented as an empowered state of mind that allows us to get out of ourselves and our own pain. Thus it differs from the empathetic taking on of another’s suffering, which is liable to cause what’s often referred to as “compassion fatigue”. Working in a helping profession myself, I found this to be an interesting differentiation.
Compassion training has been shown to improve psychological well-being in a number of different ways. It is correlated with decreased suppression of emotions and increased resilience. It teaches us to become less self-preoccupied and see ourselves in the context of our relationship with others rather than in isolation. It also increases self-acceptance, social connectedness, and a sense of purpose in life. The exercises in the book provide a useful roadmap, and I’m looking forward to adding a compassion practice into my holistic wellness plan.
Previously published on the blog Mental Health @ Home
https://mentalhealthathome.wordpress....
While the author’s approach is steeped in Tibetan Buddhist tradition, he makes it very accessible for non-spiritual audiences. He provides clear explanations of relevant terminology, and incorporates a variety of concepts and research findings from the field of psychology, often pointing out the parallels to classical Buddhist thought. Some ideas will be familiar to those who have done cognitive behavioural therapy work, such as distinguishing between observations and evaluations, and recognizing that thoughts are not who we are.
Dr. Jinpa describes three elements of compassion: perceiving another’s suffering or need, emotionally connecting with the suffering/need, and wishing to see that situation may relieved. Empathy involves the first two of these elements, and is a complex phenomenon in the brain that appears to involve the limbic system, attachment system, and pain matrix. Dr. Jinpa explains that “compassion acknowledges the fundamental truth of our human condition that not all pain can be fixed… In many situations, it’s not fixing that is needed; rather, it’s our empathic response, our acceptance, understanding, and solidarity.”
The importance of self-compassion is emphasized throughout the book. A free online self-compassion test is mentioned, which can be found at https://centerformsc.org/learn-msc/ta.... The test breaks down scores on scales of self-kindness, self-judgment, common humanity, isolation, mindfulness, and over-identification. I completed the test, and scored particularly low in the areas of common humanity, isolation, and over-identification. This helps point me in the direction of the type of work that I need to focus on.
Dr. Jinpa explains that while the practice of self-compassion and the capacity to self-soothe and regulate emotions is heavily influenced by experiences and attachment early in life, the capacity for compassion is innate and therefore growth and change are possible. Self-compassion work includes cultivating both compassion (a wish to be free from suffering) and loving-kindness (a wish for happiness) towards ourselves, with a goal to cultivate the capacity to genuinely accept and care for ourselves and a profound appreciation of our natural and legitimate aspiration to kindness. The book offers specific, uncomplicated exercises to build skills in these areas.
Self-hatred is something that many of us living with mental illness have experienced at some point or another, and Dr. Jinpa offers an interesting view on this. He states that self-hatred comes from actually caring a great deal, but being unable to accept/forgive imperfect selves. As a result, people hide behind the “layers of armor we put on when we feel like we’re under attack”. When approaching self-forgiveness, Dr. Jinpa suggests that it is important to acknowledge the legitimacy of unmet needs that prompted the behaviour in question, which I found very powerful.
The Tibetan practice of “tonglen” (literally “giving and receiving”) is offered as an active compassion meditation. It involves breathing in another’s suffering (while visualizing dark clouds or smoke) and breathing out happiness and good fortune (visualizing white clouds and light). Rather than drawing us into another’s pain, this voluntary taking on of another’s suffering is presented as an empowered state of mind that allows us to get out of ourselves and our own pain. Thus it differs from the empathetic taking on of another’s suffering, which is liable to cause what’s often referred to as “compassion fatigue”. Working in a helping profession myself, I found this to be an interesting differentiation.
Compassion training has been shown to improve psychological well-being in a number of different ways. It is correlated with decreased suppression of emotions and increased resilience. It teaches us to become less self-preoccupied and see ourselves in the context of our relationship with others rather than in isolation. It also increases self-acceptance, social connectedness, and a sense of purpose in life. The exercises in the book provide a useful roadmap, and I’m looking forward to adding a compassion practice into my holistic wellness plan.
Previously published on the blog Mental Health @ Home
https://mentalhealthathome.wordpress....
January 4, 2021
Wonderful interweave of personal stories , the explanation of compassion practices and the why they are such an important part of our daily life and more formal contemplative practices
January 29, 2021
This book was excellent and fundamentally changed how I was able to relate to the pain of others.
November 27, 2020
2020.11.24–2020.11.27
Contents
Thupten Jinpa (2015) (08:23) Fearless Heart, A - How the Courage to Be Compassionate Can Transform Our Lives
Dedication
Introduction
• Why Compassion Now?
• Compassion Cultivation Training at Stanford
• About This Book
Part I: Why Compassion Matters
01. The Best Kept Secret of Happiness: Compassion
• Born to Connect
• I Am the Other
• Where the Research Is Taking Us
• The Benefits of Compassion
• • Receiving Kindness
• • The Helper’s High
• • More Compassion, More Purpose
• • More Compassion, Less Stress
• • The Cure for Loneliness
• • Kindness Is Contagious
• Hanging In There with Patience
02. The Key to Self-Acceptance: Having Compassion for Yourself
• What Self-Compassion Is Not
• The High Cost of Low Self-Compassion
• The Benefits of Self-Compassion
• • Renewing Our Resources
• • Setting Realistic Goals
• • Learning from Our Experience
• • Feeling Less Alone
• • “Be Kind, and Be Happy”
• It Comes Back to Connection
03. From Fear to Courage: Breaking Through Our Resistance
• The Courage of Compassion
• Fear of Compassion
• Pride: The False Guard
• A Culture of Kindness
• Letting Go of Our Resistance
• Building Our Compassion Muscle: Compassion Cultivation at Stanford University
Part II: Training Our Mind and Heart
04. From Compassion to Action: Turning Intention into Motivation
• The Four Immeasurables
• Setting Conscious Intention
• • Exercise: Setting an Intention
• Dedicating Our Experience
• • Exercise: Making a Dedication
• The Benefits of Intention and Dedication
• How Intention Becomes Motivation
05. Making Way for Compassion: How Focused Awareness Keeps Us on Track
• Mind Wandering: A Default State of Our Brain?
• Quieting the Mind
• • Exercise: Deep Breathing
• • Exercise: Spacious Mind
• Focusing the Mind
• • Exercise: Focused Attention Through Mindful Breathing
• • Exercise: Focused Attention Using an Image
• Strengthening Meta-Awareness
• • Exercise: Meta-Awareness
06. Getting Unstuck: Escaping the Prison of Excessive Self-Involvement
• Opening Your Heart in Everyday Life
• Opening Your Heart Through Loving-Kindness and Compassion Meditation
• • Exercise: Loving-Kindness Meditation
• • Exercise: Compassion Meditation
• A Quiet Practice with Powerful Results
• There Is More to Loving-Kindness and Compassion Than Wishing
• It Comes Back to Connection Again
07. “May I Be Happy”: Caring for Ourselves
• Self-Compassion and Attachment Style
• Learning to Be with Our Suffering
• Cultivating Self-Forgiveness
• • Exercise: Forgiving Ourselves
• Self-Acceptance
• • Exercise: Accepting Ourselves
• Self-Kindness
• • Exercise: Self-Kindness
• Loving-Kindness for Ourselves
• Replenishing Our Inner Wellspring
08. “Just Like Me”: Expanding Our Circle of Concern
• The Power of Perceived Similarity
• Embracing Our Common Humanity
• • Exercise: Embracing Common Humanity
• Cultivating Appreciation of Others
• • Exercise: Appreciating Others
• Expanding Our Circle of Concern
• • Exercise: Expanding Our Circle of Concern
• Priming Our Heart for a More Active Compassion
• • Exercise: Priming Our Heart (Tonglen)
Part III: A New Way of Being
09. Greater Well-Being: How Compassion Makes Us Healthy and Strong
• Compassion Training for Psychological Well-Being
• A Compassionate Mind Is a Resilient Mind
• Compassion Training and Emotion Regulation
• Anchoring Our Personal Ethics
10. More Courage, Less Stress, Greater Freedom: Making Compassion Our Basic Stance
• Compassion in Everyday Life
• A Theory of Personal Transformation
• Seeing, Feeling, and Acting
• A Perceptual Shift Can Change How We Actually Feel
• A Way of Being in the World
• From a Feeling to Our Very Way of Being
11. The Power of One: The Way to a More Compassionate World
• Compassion in Our Health Care Systems
• Reenvisioning How We Educate Our Children
• Caring Workplace, Caring Economics
• • “A Very Different Company”
• Toward a More Just and Compassionate Society
Acknowledgments
Notes
Contents
Thupten Jinpa (2015) (08:23) Fearless Heart, A - How the Courage to Be Compassionate Can Transform Our Lives
Dedication
Introduction
• Why Compassion Now?
• Compassion Cultivation Training at Stanford
• About This Book
Part I: Why Compassion Matters
01. The Best Kept Secret of Happiness: Compassion
• Born to Connect
• I Am the Other
• Where the Research Is Taking Us
• The Benefits of Compassion
• • Receiving Kindness
• • The Helper’s High
• • More Compassion, More Purpose
• • More Compassion, Less Stress
• • The Cure for Loneliness
• • Kindness Is Contagious
• Hanging In There with Patience
02. The Key to Self-Acceptance: Having Compassion for Yourself
• What Self-Compassion Is Not
• The High Cost of Low Self-Compassion
• The Benefits of Self-Compassion
• • Renewing Our Resources
• • Setting Realistic Goals
• • Learning from Our Experience
• • Feeling Less Alone
• • “Be Kind, and Be Happy”
• It Comes Back to Connection
03. From Fear to Courage: Breaking Through Our Resistance
• The Courage of Compassion
• Fear of Compassion
• Pride: The False Guard
• A Culture of Kindness
• Letting Go of Our Resistance
• Building Our Compassion Muscle: Compassion Cultivation at Stanford University
Part II: Training Our Mind and Heart
04. From Compassion to Action: Turning Intention into Motivation
• The Four Immeasurables
• Setting Conscious Intention
• • Exercise: Setting an Intention
• Dedicating Our Experience
• • Exercise: Making a Dedication
• The Benefits of Intention and Dedication
• How Intention Becomes Motivation
05. Making Way for Compassion: How Focused Awareness Keeps Us on Track
• Mind Wandering: A Default State of Our Brain?
• Quieting the Mind
• • Exercise: Deep Breathing
• • Exercise: Spacious Mind
• Focusing the Mind
• • Exercise: Focused Attention Through Mindful Breathing
• • Exercise: Focused Attention Using an Image
• Strengthening Meta-Awareness
• • Exercise: Meta-Awareness
06. Getting Unstuck: Escaping the Prison of Excessive Self-Involvement
• Opening Your Heart in Everyday Life
• Opening Your Heart Through Loving-Kindness and Compassion Meditation
• • Exercise: Loving-Kindness Meditation
• • Exercise: Compassion Meditation
• A Quiet Practice with Powerful Results
• There Is More to Loving-Kindness and Compassion Than Wishing
• It Comes Back to Connection Again
07. “May I Be Happy”: Caring for Ourselves
• Self-Compassion and Attachment Style
• Learning to Be with Our Suffering
• Cultivating Self-Forgiveness
• • Exercise: Forgiving Ourselves
• Self-Acceptance
• • Exercise: Accepting Ourselves
• Self-Kindness
• • Exercise: Self-Kindness
• Loving-Kindness for Ourselves
• Replenishing Our Inner Wellspring
08. “Just Like Me”: Expanding Our Circle of Concern
• The Power of Perceived Similarity
• Embracing Our Common Humanity
• • Exercise: Embracing Common Humanity
• Cultivating Appreciation of Others
• • Exercise: Appreciating Others
• Expanding Our Circle of Concern
• • Exercise: Expanding Our Circle of Concern
• Priming Our Heart for a More Active Compassion
• • Exercise: Priming Our Heart (Tonglen)
Part III: A New Way of Being
09. Greater Well-Being: How Compassion Makes Us Healthy and Strong
• Compassion Training for Psychological Well-Being
• A Compassionate Mind Is a Resilient Mind
• Compassion Training and Emotion Regulation
• Anchoring Our Personal Ethics
10. More Courage, Less Stress, Greater Freedom: Making Compassion Our Basic Stance
• Compassion in Everyday Life
• A Theory of Personal Transformation
• Seeing, Feeling, and Acting
• A Perceptual Shift Can Change How We Actually Feel
• A Way of Being in the World
• From a Feeling to Our Very Way of Being
11. The Power of One: The Way to a More Compassionate World
• Compassion in Our Health Care Systems
• Reenvisioning How We Educate Our Children
• Caring Workplace, Caring Economics
• • “A Very Different Company”
• Toward a More Just and Compassionate Society
Acknowledgments
Notes
April 25, 2025
This book is broken up into three parts: I.) why compassion matters, II.) how to put it into practice, and III.) what we can do with it in society and the future. Going through each part reminds us of the basic needs of each human and why we should express compassion to ourselves, others, and all of humanity.
I was pleasantly surprised by how much time and effort went into self compassion. This should not be confused the the ‘self care’ that we see in our society today. That is all about ‘me time’. Self compassion is more about forgiving, accepting, and loving yourself. The sections on self compassion and the voice in your head are helpful. In order to expand your circle of compassion, you must start from within.
He makes a great point about how we could be doing more at the early educational level with regards to teaching our kids how to be more compassionate. Some people will read that as teaching our kids to be soft and wimpy but what it really comes down to is emotional recognition and regulation, conflict resolution, and that other people have needs/emotions as well. I wished that he spent more time on that section. I do hope to take his adult course on compassion, however, I wish there was something more structured for kids. If we wait for schools and the educational system to catch up then we might be waiting for a long time, so perhaps, instead, there could be parental training on how to teach your kids compassion with an accompanied kid training to teach the kid how to be compassionate. I agree that we all have basic human needs but I think we need to be taught how to recognize that in ourselves and in others. This is where a training package for adults, parents, and kids would be greatly beneficial. We can move mountains by teaching our kids how to process emotions and resolve conflicts.
For the well described, guided practices, they all started with basic breathing techniques and then had a focus on whatever the particular intention was, based on the point he was trying to make.
I was pleasantly surprised by how much time and effort went into self compassion. This should not be confused the the ‘self care’ that we see in our society today. That is all about ‘me time’. Self compassion is more about forgiving, accepting, and loving yourself. The sections on self compassion and the voice in your head are helpful. In order to expand your circle of compassion, you must start from within.
He makes a great point about how we could be doing more at the early educational level with regards to teaching our kids how to be more compassionate. Some people will read that as teaching our kids to be soft and wimpy but what it really comes down to is emotional recognition and regulation, conflict resolution, and that other people have needs/emotions as well. I wished that he spent more time on that section. I do hope to take his adult course on compassion, however, I wish there was something more structured for kids. If we wait for schools and the educational system to catch up then we might be waiting for a long time, so perhaps, instead, there could be parental training on how to teach your kids compassion with an accompanied kid training to teach the kid how to be compassionate. I agree that we all have basic human needs but I think we need to be taught how to recognize that in ourselves and in others. This is where a training package for adults, parents, and kids would be greatly beneficial. We can move mountains by teaching our kids how to process emotions and resolve conflicts.
For the well described, guided practices, they all started with basic breathing techniques and then had a focus on whatever the particular intention was, based on the point he was trying to make.
July 7, 2017
In my job as a nurse, compassion is a very important trait to be able to exhibit, therefore I was interested to read what other people have to say on the matter in the form of this book. Not only that, but compassion is at the heart of us as human beings. The aim of this book is to 'redefine compassion as something we can all grasp'; a great concept, however it troubles me to think that there are people out there with the inability to be compassionate. And of course there are those who are not compassionate, but then they are certainly not going to be reaching for this book, so it's a bit of a moot point.
The book is divided into a number of very useful topics, such as self-acceptance (how can be be fully compassionate if we are not yet accepting of ourselves?), making way for compassionate behaviours in our lives, and what to do if we become 'unstuck'. This is a really resourceful and informative read, with lots of interesting anecdotes from the author which help to put the point across well. Each chapter lays a good grounding for the following chapter, and by the end of the book there won't be much that you don't know about compassion! With simple ideologies for implementing into your every day life, I hope that this would have as positive an impact on other readers as it did myself. The only reason for only awarding three stars, as that in parts it is a monotonous read and dragged.
(Thanks to NetGalley for this copy).
The book is divided into a number of very useful topics, such as self-acceptance (how can be be fully compassionate if we are not yet accepting of ourselves?), making way for compassionate behaviours in our lives, and what to do if we become 'unstuck'. This is a really resourceful and informative read, with lots of interesting anecdotes from the author which help to put the point across well. Each chapter lays a good grounding for the following chapter, and by the end of the book there won't be much that you don't know about compassion! With simple ideologies for implementing into your every day life, I hope that this would have as positive an impact on other readers as it did myself. The only reason for only awarding three stars, as that in parts it is a monotonous read and dragged.
(Thanks to NetGalley for this copy).
July 30, 2017
I recently heard this book referenced by Jack Kornfield in an interview/training done by Psychotherapy Networker. Jack Kornfield was talking about how the main ingredient in psychotherapy is love/compassion. I got to pondering and reflecting on this more, thus I decided to read this book as well. Most of the things mentioned in the book I already knew due to my lifelong curiosity and love for the tenets of Buddhism as well as my interest in the increasingly popular theory on how self-compassion can positively transform one's life (specifically Kristin Neff's "Self-Compassion" I have recommended to many of my clients struggling with extreme self-judgment). This book was a refreshing and comforting reminder of why Buddhism has always been a nurturing comfort to me, especially when it comes to suffering personally and the collective suffering of humanity. I also liked how this book gave different exercises one can try to combine deep breathing with meditation.
My favorite thing about this book overall that I hope to be my new mantra (especially in this polarized society we're currently living in) is The Four Immeasurables Prayer:
May all beings attain happiness and its causes.
May all beings be free from suffering and its causes.
May all beings never be separated from joy that is free of misery.
May all beings abide in equanimity, free from bias of attachment and aversion.
My favorite thing about this book overall that I hope to be my new mantra (especially in this polarized society we're currently living in) is The Four Immeasurables Prayer:
May all beings attain happiness and its causes.
May all beings be free from suffering and its causes.
May all beings never be separated from joy that is free of misery.
May all beings abide in equanimity, free from bias of attachment and aversion.
July 6, 2018
How to keep compassion intact and not let the coldness and cynicism triumph over it? - I picked up this book to cultivate my curiosity to answer this question. It is both a requirement in the personal and the professional life. The book didn't get me close to the depth of the question but did offer a few simple ways of becoming better at the practice of compassion. A light and a good start towards understanding mindfulness and compassion.
The book might be a great start for anyone interested in starting meditation. Also, for the ones who want to direct their meditation towards cultivating compassion to handle the difficult emotions and life situations. The content is fairly simple to read and process. The author has tried to briefly touch upon various issues that one faces while mustering the courage to be compassionate: differentiation between self-love, self-pity, complacency, and self-compassion, self-esteem vs self-compassion, and above all, the role of mindfulness in everyday life, fighting injustice compassionately, the difference between equanimity and indifference etc.
If you have done Vipassana, this is going to be repetitive.
The book might be a great start for anyone interested in starting meditation. Also, for the ones who want to direct their meditation towards cultivating compassion to handle the difficult emotions and life situations. The content is fairly simple to read and process. The author has tried to briefly touch upon various issues that one faces while mustering the courage to be compassionate: differentiation between self-love, self-pity, complacency, and self-compassion, self-esteem vs self-compassion, and above all, the role of mindfulness in everyday life, fighting injustice compassionately, the difference between equanimity and indifference etc.
If you have done Vipassana, this is going to be repetitive.
September 13, 2020
Judging by the title alone I had no reason to expect this to be one of the most helpful and interesting books I’ve ever read. Regardless of any religious or spiritual inclination, anyone can benefit from all the useful information on the intersection of eastern philosophy and western psychology, and the underrated importance of compassion as a practice and a priority in every aspect of life. I now consider compassion the most essential human value, and the most influential component in improving relationships both with yourself and others. He writes with beautiful clarity, humility, and expert authority, citing all the scientific research and providing plenty of real-life, broad-scale examples of the importance of compassion in local and global modern society. Thupten Jinpa’s personal story is also fascinating. I really hope he writes more books. In the meantime, I will be highly recommending this to everyone I know.
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