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A Different Kind of Same: A Memoir
Two weeks before his college graduation, Kelley Clink’s younger brother died by suicide. Though he’d been diagnosed with bipolar disorder as a teenager and had attempted suicide once before, the news came as a shock—and it sent Kelley into a spiral of guilt and grief.
After Matt’s death, a chasm opened between the brother Kelley had known and the brother she’d buried. She kept telling herself she couldn’t understand why he’d done it—but the truth was, she could. Several years before he’d been diagnosed with bipolar disorder, she’d been diagnosed with depression. Several years before he first attempted suicide by overdose, she had attempted suicide by overdose. She’d blazed the trail he’d followed. If he couldn’t make it, what hope was there for her?
A Different Kind of Same traces Kelley’s journey through grief, her investigation into the role her own depression played in her brother’s death, and, ultimately, her path toward acceptance, forgiveness, resilience, and love.
After Matt’s death, a chasm opened between the brother Kelley had known and the brother she’d buried. She kept telling herself she couldn’t understand why he’d done it—but the truth was, she could. Several years before he’d been diagnosed with bipolar disorder, she’d been diagnosed with depression. Several years before he first attempted suicide by overdose, she had attempted suicide by overdose. She’d blazed the trail he’d followed. If he couldn’t make it, what hope was there for her?
A Different Kind of Same traces Kelley’s journey through grief, her investigation into the role her own depression played in her brother’s death, and, ultimately, her path toward acceptance, forgiveness, resilience, and love.
220 pages, Kindle Edition
First published May 5, 2015
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May 26, 2015
ARC for review.
Kelley's brother Matt had been diagnosed with bipolar disorder when he was fifteen, two years after Kelley's own diagnosis of severe depression. It appears there may have been a family history of mental health issues as her dad said that his own father had a "dark side," a sister who went through years of therapy and an uncle who committed suicide, facts she knows nothing about until long after Matt's death. She feels that her family inheritance is that of "silence" when it comes to mental illness, noting, "that silence is buried deep in our code. You could call it midwestern stoicism or good old-fashioned politeness. I've come to think of it as a survival skill, albeit a rusty and antique on - it still works, kind of, but it's a little dangerous and awkward to use. Life is hard; we aren't born knowing how to deal with it. Some people in the past, like Buddha, have suggested sitting, breathing, and observing our feelings. Others, like Jesus, have suggested we open up our hearts and lean on each other. And then others - my ancestors, and probably yours - decided that it was a hell of a lot easier to bottle up their feelings, quit thinking so much, accept the information people offered, and then mind their own goddamn business." She last spoke with him on April 26, 2004. About a week later he killed himself.
After his death Matt's family discovered that the had kept a secret blog for two years - a blog filled with a detachment and despair that Kelley had not seen in her brother. At his funeral she has the sense that she, her family and Matt's friends are all mourning different people (but isn't that nearly always true?)
Kelley and her family look to Matt's life - his writings, his friends, his therapist to find the great "why?" and Kelley also explores her own depression, through efforts at taming through religion and the feeling that because she had tried suicide earlier, she should have seen, and been able to stop, what was happening to Matt.
This excellent book will speak to anyone who has suffered from depression him or herself or who has loved someone who has. Clink's voice is painfully raw, but always honest.
Kelley's brother Matt had been diagnosed with bipolar disorder when he was fifteen, two years after Kelley's own diagnosis of severe depression. It appears there may have been a family history of mental health issues as her dad said that his own father had a "dark side," a sister who went through years of therapy and an uncle who committed suicide, facts she knows nothing about until long after Matt's death. She feels that her family inheritance is that of "silence" when it comes to mental illness, noting, "that silence is buried deep in our code. You could call it midwestern stoicism or good old-fashioned politeness. I've come to think of it as a survival skill, albeit a rusty and antique on - it still works, kind of, but it's a little dangerous and awkward to use. Life is hard; we aren't born knowing how to deal with it. Some people in the past, like Buddha, have suggested sitting, breathing, and observing our feelings. Others, like Jesus, have suggested we open up our hearts and lean on each other. And then others - my ancestors, and probably yours - decided that it was a hell of a lot easier to bottle up their feelings, quit thinking so much, accept the information people offered, and then mind their own goddamn business." She last spoke with him on April 26, 2004. About a week later he killed himself.
After his death Matt's family discovered that the had kept a secret blog for two years - a blog filled with a detachment and despair that Kelley had not seen in her brother. At his funeral she has the sense that she, her family and Matt's friends are all mourning different people (but isn't that nearly always true?)
Kelley and her family look to Matt's life - his writings, his friends, his therapist to find the great "why?" and Kelley also explores her own depression, through efforts at taming through religion and the feeling that because she had tried suicide earlier, she should have seen, and been able to stop, what was happening to Matt.
This excellent book will speak to anyone who has suffered from depression him or herself or who has loved someone who has. Clink's voice is painfully raw, but always honest.
July 12, 2015
"A Different Kind of Same" is a heart wrenching memoir. When Kelley Clink was a teenager, she was diagnosed with depression. A couple years after that, her younger brother was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. She attempted suicide. A couple years later, her brother attempted suicide and succeeded. This memoir is about Kelley coping with the idea that she feels she blazed the trail for her brother. It also covers how her brother's suicide sent her into a tailspin. This book deals with a grave topic and some parts are hard to read but I think books that cover mental illness in such a clear, unflinching manner are so important.
Kelley holds nothing back when it comes to discussing both her own mental health and that of her brother. She talks about her diagnosis and everything that she went through when she was first getting diagnosed. She also covered how it affected her family. In that same vein, she covers how her brothers diagnoses affects her family. I can't imagine how it would be to suffers something like the suicide of a sibling. Her family had no known history of depression.
This book was a very fast read for me because I got pulled so deeply into the story of Clink's family. I really appreciated how open the author was with such a difficult subject. Kelley's brother's suicide affects her in a huge way. Not only has she lost her brother but she worries about how her own mental health might be affected since it's quite fragile. I think this is a good book for anyone who has dealt with the suicide of a close friend or family member or is interested in a story of resilience!
Kelley holds nothing back when it comes to discussing both her own mental health and that of her brother. She talks about her diagnosis and everything that she went through when she was first getting diagnosed. She also covered how it affected her family. In that same vein, she covers how her brothers diagnoses affects her family. I can't imagine how it would be to suffers something like the suicide of a sibling. Her family had no known history of depression.
This book was a very fast read for me because I got pulled so deeply into the story of Clink's family. I really appreciated how open the author was with such a difficult subject. Kelley's brother's suicide affects her in a huge way. Not only has she lost her brother but she worries about how her own mental health might be affected since it's quite fragile. I think this is a good book for anyone who has dealt with the suicide of a close friend or family member or is interested in a story of resilience!
June 9, 2015
Kelley Clink laces suicide and mental illness with one of life's most important ingredients: hope. You need to read this book. It will change you.
—Gillian Marchenko, author of Sun Shine Down: A Memoir
—Gillian Marchenko, author of Sun Shine Down: A Memoir
February 17, 2023
really related to this, very niche kind of my book. literally looked up suicide memoirs but this was about a sister who lost her brother and therefore i related really well. lots of tears, but i also realized that everyone’s journey with grief is so different because although there were so many similarities in our stories, so much of the aftermath was different. it helped me realize there is no right or wrong way to deal with tragedy, we just deal with it and that is that.
October 21, 2015
This book is really a celebration of siblings, an eloquent tribute to growing up with a sibling especially in the 70s and 80s. It is not too sad to read. The suicide is a foregone conclusion, the author is not out to shock you with it. Rather, this is a road map through grief, with so much loveliness along the way.
July 7, 2015
To The Point: This was an amazing book with unbelievable insight into families with mental illness. Such a stigmatized disease, the battle families and victims face is beautifully represented.
Review: I have to say, I was amazed with how wonderfully written this book is. Typically, in my experience, memoirs can come off with too much casual conversational writing and not enough editing. Yes, you want to get into that space the author is in but it still needs to be professional. Kelly Clink balanced her natural speech with beautiful writing skills and this book did not get lost in language. I read this book and felt her feelings, I got lost in her dangerous world just enough to empathize which is also another amazing skill. I was dragged in deep enough to feel and not so deep where I lost myself.
That sounds dramatic, but I’m upfront. This book is about suicide and depression and bipolar disorder (this actual label has been removed from the DSM I thought – manic depression?). Considering these are the subjects of this book and it is a true story, it’s deep, it is meant to be deep. You are supposed to feel from this story.
I feel like this book needs to be out there, everywhere because this is such an important subject and I think this book will help spread awareness. Mental illness is like any other health concern and should be treated as such and not so judged as it is our society.
I thought this book was incredibly well written and a great story. I gave the book 4.5 stars because I think this book has an important story to tell and I recommend this book to most readers, just be cautioned of the tough subject matter and age groups as well.
A Different Kind of Same: A Memoir by Kelly Clink. She Writes Press (June 9, 2015). 207 pages. Memoir: Grief/Suicide/Family Relationships. I received a copy of this from BookSparks for the Truth or Dare blog tour.
Review: I have to say, I was amazed with how wonderfully written this book is. Typically, in my experience, memoirs can come off with too much casual conversational writing and not enough editing. Yes, you want to get into that space the author is in but it still needs to be professional. Kelly Clink balanced her natural speech with beautiful writing skills and this book did not get lost in language. I read this book and felt her feelings, I got lost in her dangerous world just enough to empathize which is also another amazing skill. I was dragged in deep enough to feel and not so deep where I lost myself.
That sounds dramatic, but I’m upfront. This book is about suicide and depression and bipolar disorder (this actual label has been removed from the DSM I thought – manic depression?). Considering these are the subjects of this book and it is a true story, it’s deep, it is meant to be deep. You are supposed to feel from this story.
I feel like this book needs to be out there, everywhere because this is such an important subject and I think this book will help spread awareness. Mental illness is like any other health concern and should be treated as such and not so judged as it is our society.
I thought this book was incredibly well written and a great story. I gave the book 4.5 stars because I think this book has an important story to tell and I recommend this book to most readers, just be cautioned of the tough subject matter and age groups as well.
A Different Kind of Same: A Memoir by Kelly Clink. She Writes Press (June 9, 2015). 207 pages. Memoir: Grief/Suicide/Family Relationships. I received a copy of this from BookSparks for the Truth or Dare blog tour.
July 13, 2015
This is a raw, at times painful, memoir about suicide, mental illness, family, self acceptance, and spiritual journeys. Kelley's brother, Matt, committed suicide shortly before he was to graduate from college, mirroring her own attempt of a few years earlier. For years, she struggles with the idea that she modeled that behavior for him. She shuts down. Can't function. Except to exhibit violence rages, usually taken out against her husband, who must be a saint because this went on for four and a half years and I'm not sure I could have handled that for so long. She discovers Matt's longtime blog and starts reading it three years after his death and gains insights into him she hadn't had before. And she starts healing, to a certain degree. But healing takes time, as does self acceptance, so her cycle of pain, self hatred, anger, and violence continued. It's been over a decade now and she's doing much better, thank God. I wouldn't wish her experience on anyone. She found Buddhism helped give her a sense of peace that her Catholicism she was brought up with did not. She started writing, I assume what became this book. She went to therapy. Now, when she thinks of Matt, she thinks good things, even as they relate to her, and that's what she needed to do the whole time. Recommended for anyone going through a crisis with mental illness or a loved one who has tried or succeeded in committing suicide. It can help open up some doors to the mind and thoughts one might be unaware of otherwise.
July 24, 2015
Meet the Schwartz...
From all outward appearances, they seem the epitome of nuclear familial bliss. Complete with mom, dad, two kids, never a raised voice, never a harsh word.
In A Different Kind Of Same, authoress Kelley Clink, tells the true story of a different kind of nuclear family, her family. A family facing the real-life detonation of two silent, but very destructive bombs. Depression and Bipolar Disorder.
Kelley is the first to be affected, showing signs of, and receiving her first treatment for depression in her teens. It is her younger brother Matt however, and his death just two weeks shy of graduation in 2004, after years of battling Bipolar Disorder, that rocks both Kelley and her family to its core. Testing the limits of her sanity, and sending her on a quest to understand, cope, and come to terms with both her and her brother's diagnoses, and what they mean for her life.
Often heartbreakingly emotional, the all access pass that readers are given offers never before seen glimpses of the true nature of mental illness. Her honest narrative sheds a glaring light of truth on topics such as: warning signs, pro and cons of medications, and the cyclical onsets and progressions of both depression and bipolar issues.
This story of love, loss, mental illness, the fight for recovery, and the journey to understanding, is one that will give hope to loved ones, and give voice to those who may suffer from these issues while wrapped in the shroud of misunderstanding and silence.
From all outward appearances, they seem the epitome of nuclear familial bliss. Complete with mom, dad, two kids, never a raised voice, never a harsh word.
In A Different Kind Of Same, authoress Kelley Clink, tells the true story of a different kind of nuclear family, her family. A family facing the real-life detonation of two silent, but very destructive bombs. Depression and Bipolar Disorder.
Kelley is the first to be affected, showing signs of, and receiving her first treatment for depression in her teens. It is her younger brother Matt however, and his death just two weeks shy of graduation in 2004, after years of battling Bipolar Disorder, that rocks both Kelley and her family to its core. Testing the limits of her sanity, and sending her on a quest to understand, cope, and come to terms with both her and her brother's diagnoses, and what they mean for her life.
Often heartbreakingly emotional, the all access pass that readers are given offers never before seen glimpses of the true nature of mental illness. Her honest narrative sheds a glaring light of truth on topics such as: warning signs, pro and cons of medications, and the cyclical onsets and progressions of both depression and bipolar issues.
This story of love, loss, mental illness, the fight for recovery, and the journey to understanding, is one that will give hope to loved ones, and give voice to those who may suffer from these issues while wrapped in the shroud of misunderstanding and silence.
July 9, 2015
**THIS REVIEW IS TAKEN DIRECTLY OFF OF MY BLOG A READER'S DIARY**
Once again, Netgalley was gracious enough to allow me an Advanced Reader's Copy (ARC) of Kelley Clink's memoir, A Different Kind of Same, in exchange for an honest review.
Memoirs are always hard for me to review because it's someone's life story. But I can say that I'm not 100% sure why this memoir was written... Kelley's brother Matt committed suicide two weeks before his college graduation and threw Kelley's life into chaos. For years, the two of them had been inseparable through the move from Michigan to Alabama, through Kelley being diagnosed with depression and suicide attempt, through Matt being diagnosed as bipolar, to the end when Matt actually took his own life. When Kelley tells the story of what happened throughout their lives, you can only feel for them. She gave a very impressive insight of what suicide is like and what it feels like to attempt it. Overall I felt like this book will be an eye-open for many people, those who know these struggles and those who don't.
Mark your calendars, A Different Kind of Same comes out June 9th!
Once again, Netgalley was gracious enough to allow me an Advanced Reader's Copy (ARC) of Kelley Clink's memoir, A Different Kind of Same, in exchange for an honest review.
Memoirs are always hard for me to review because it's someone's life story. But I can say that I'm not 100% sure why this memoir was written... Kelley's brother Matt committed suicide two weeks before his college graduation and threw Kelley's life into chaos. For years, the two of them had been inseparable through the move from Michigan to Alabama, through Kelley being diagnosed with depression and suicide attempt, through Matt being diagnosed as bipolar, to the end when Matt actually took his own life. When Kelley tells the story of what happened throughout their lives, you can only feel for them. She gave a very impressive insight of what suicide is like and what it feels like to attempt it. Overall I felt like this book will be an eye-open for many people, those who know these struggles and those who don't.
Mark your calendars, A Different Kind of Same comes out June 9th!
Read
March 11, 2016As I read the story, it caught my eyes immediately. As Kelly, the author who is diagnosed with depression, is sent into a confusion with what cause her brother Matt's to sacrifice his life. She begins feeling guilty and tries to understand why he decides to commit suicide two weeks before his graduation. She begins to remember how she lost her time to spend with her brother and wishes to have one more chance. Her brother Matt is diagnosed with a bipolar disorder and they lost contact with each other. Clink tries to say the words that came across her mind once they spoke on the phone but somehow could not and regrets it immediately. She then realizes that she needs to find peace with herself and her brother's death. Throughout the book she approaches obstacles full of pain and grief to move passed her brother's death. I really enjoyed the suspense and mystery of her story. It reaches out to those who seek forgiveness and hope and speak out to those who are having trouble accepting their loved one, who committed suicide, deaths.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
June 1, 2015
Life’s challenges are the stuff of memoir, and victories over those challenges are to be celebrated. The beautiful writing, and honest, clear voice of Kelley Clink’s A Different Kind of Same, make this memoir one to celebrate and savor. Whether or not a reader’s life has brought her close to suicide or a loved one with mental illness, Clink’s reality-filled narrative, graced with evocative description, embraces the complex interplay of pervasive depression, sustaining love, grievous loss, uncertain intervention, all amidst the mundane and poetic observations of a family’s lives. She makes neither more nor less of her journey through her battle with depression and her brother’s suicide than is needed to tell this important story, providing the reader, and all those who struggle with these issues, with a true gift. Brava, Kelley Clink.
March 3, 2017
I really expected to love this book. I picked it up specifically because of the familial suicidal guilt theme. It's not the first memoir I've read on the subject of coping with multiple mental illnesses in a family or a "my brother committed suicide" memoir. That may sound jaded but I'm drawn to the genre because of my own experience with a family member's suicide. Early in the book as she described getting the news, dealing with the aftermath, I struggled to focus because of my own flashbacks to my experience. So perhaps that accounts for some of my disengagement with this book.
I guess it comes down to, I was expecting to see more of myself in this book, but I didn't. Still I appreciate her writing it. It had to be a difficult, challenging experience and she was brave to lay it all out there.
I guess it comes down to, I was expecting to see more of myself in this book, but I didn't. Still I appreciate her writing it. It had to be a difficult, challenging experience and she was brave to lay it all out there.
July 25, 2015
Wow....what an honest and heart wrenching memoir about the impact of mental illness on the lives of many and the ultimate loss of life due to the struggle. I love that Clink did not sugar coat the harsh reality of what it is like living with, dealing with and struggling with mental illness. I am almost at a loss of words regarding this read. It has so much truth and insight and I commend Clink for sharing it with the world. I say this a lot when I read memoirs, that is takes such bravery to share it in an attempt to help others. To expose yourself in your rawest form for the world to judge. I feel that this memoir will help so many people dealing with mental illness...to know they are not alone...that there can be hope among the sadness. 5 stars
March 17, 2015
This is the kind of book you either relate to or don't. I related to Ms. Clink's words. I found myself nodding my head yes and highlighting certain phrases and sentences.
You don't need to be a person battling depression to "get" this book. Yet, maybe you have a loved one who battles depression. The words contained in these pages may help you.
Ms. Clink, thank you for revealing your story and Matt's. For if even one person is helped, then the work was worth it.
You don't need to be a person battling depression to "get" this book. Yet, maybe you have a loved one who battles depression. The words contained in these pages may help you.
Ms. Clink, thank you for revealing your story and Matt's. For if even one person is helped, then the work was worth it.
June 16, 2015
Received as a free ebook from NeGalley.
Memoirs are such a hard thing for me to rate. The memoir was interesting. Kudoos to the author for laying bare her life experiences. She chronicles her own mental health, her brother's life and suicide, and her and her family's journey through these personal experiences. The author is a gifted writer and I like her writing style. The cover art adds a more personal touch, enticing others to pick up the book and read it.
Memoirs are such a hard thing for me to rate. The memoir was interesting. Kudoos to the author for laying bare her life experiences. She chronicles her own mental health, her brother's life and suicide, and her and her family's journey through these personal experiences. The author is a gifted writer and I like her writing style. The cover art adds a more personal touch, enticing others to pick up the book and read it.
May 21, 2015
Well, as someone who suffers from OCD/Anxiety/Depression I found myself nodding a lot to what was written by Kelley Clink in her memoir. I could take paragraph after paragraph and put it into a memoir of my own.
A Different Kind of Same provides a very good insight into what a person with mental illness can experience and also what the family and loved ones experience as well.
A Different Kind of Same provides a very good insight into what a person with mental illness can experience and also what the family and loved ones experience as well.
June 29, 2015
Honest memoir about suicide, family, mental illness and acceptance. An important book for anyone who wants to gain a greater understanding of the impact that mental illness has on the sufferer and those who love them. The main theme of the book; however, is the author's journey on the road to her own peace of mind.
Recommend.
Recommend.
September 24, 2018
I struggle to rate this book. It's a tough subject for one, and though the writing was superb, I didn't relate too well to the author. Her voice just didn't resonate with me. But I recognize that her writing, her telling of her story as a survivor of her brother's suicide and as a suicide survivor herself, is well done here. Kelley Clink doesn't revert to cliches and expresses her grief in deep, earthy words. She's blunt, a straight shooter. Somehow, despite appreciating this unceremonious style, I couldn't help just not liking her. But I'm not rating her as a person or friend. The book provides a good but painfully close glimpse of the wreckage that is inevitably left behind when a sibling takes his own life. 4 stars.
July 8, 2015
This book was received in part of the TRUTH OR DARE book tour hosted by BookSparks. This did not influence my review.
4 Stars
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How does one compose a review about a subject so tragic, yet so compelling? Kelley recounts the time after her brother Matt's suicide and the events she believes may have led up to his death. The way Matt moves like a shadow in her wake. Following in her footsteps, never faltering. Succeeding in a part where she failed: death.
A DIFFERENT KIND OF SAME shows Kelley's journey in finding out all that she missed about her baby brother and his disorder. She goes through boxes, tries to understand another's similar disorder and works on her mental illness. Healing and fear, sadness and hopelessness. These are the major themes of the book. Unfaltering, head held high and unflinching prose, the memoir begs the question of why? Why do the one's we love leave? Why does this certain brand of madness consume people so fully? To the point where they would rather die than live?
I absolutely adore the writing in this book. There are so many parts of the book that just tugged and tore at my heart-strings. However morbid and strange it may be, I have this fascination with mental illnesses and disorder. Whatever you prefer to call them. I think that this book lets me get a little closer and view those with the mental state a little clearer. And I think that that is important. To be understanding. A little less ignorant.
And the way she presented her tale was so blunt, but it was in a gorgeous way. It wasn't glitter coated, but it wasn't really....gore soaked?....it wasn't that either. It was a story.
This is my first memoir that I read because I wanted to read it. And I am so glad I did read it. Chose to read it. I didn't expect it to be so much of a story as it was. I loved it. The writing was pretty and the memoir is told in a very straight forward manner that the reader can't help but appreciate. I appreciated it. And I think everyone else who reads it (I'm looking at you) will like it as well.
The one complaint I have is that the 'plot' (is that what you would call it?) is that it skipped around a little bit. I was confused from time to time. But, it did maintain a relatively steady way of the telling of the story.
Overall, I would totally recommend this book to everyone. It was well worth reading.
Later gators,
Jackie
4 Stars
Find more reviews on
How does one compose a review about a subject so tragic, yet so compelling? Kelley recounts the time after her brother Matt's suicide and the events she believes may have led up to his death. The way Matt moves like a shadow in her wake. Following in her footsteps, never faltering. Succeeding in a part where she failed: death.
A DIFFERENT KIND OF SAME shows Kelley's journey in finding out all that she missed about her baby brother and his disorder. She goes through boxes, tries to understand another's similar disorder and works on her mental illness. Healing and fear, sadness and hopelessness. These are the major themes of the book. Unfaltering, head held high and unflinching prose, the memoir begs the question of why? Why do the one's we love leave? Why does this certain brand of madness consume people so fully? To the point where they would rather die than live?
I absolutely adore the writing in this book. There are so many parts of the book that just tugged and tore at my heart-strings. However morbid and strange it may be, I have this fascination with mental illnesses and disorder. Whatever you prefer to call them. I think that this book lets me get a little closer and view those with the mental state a little clearer. And I think that that is important. To be understanding. A little less ignorant.
And the way she presented her tale was so blunt, but it was in a gorgeous way. It wasn't glitter coated, but it wasn't really....gore soaked?....it wasn't that either. It was a story.
This is my first memoir that I read because I wanted to read it. And I am so glad I did read it. Chose to read it. I didn't expect it to be so much of a story as it was. I loved it. The writing was pretty and the memoir is told in a very straight forward manner that the reader can't help but appreciate. I appreciated it. And I think everyone else who reads it (I'm looking at you) will like it as well.
The one complaint I have is that the 'plot' (is that what you would call it?) is that it skipped around a little bit. I was confused from time to time. But, it did maintain a relatively steady way of the telling of the story.
Overall, I would totally recommend this book to everyone. It was well worth reading.
Later gators,
Jackie
July 10, 2015
"Two weeks before his college graduation. Kelly Clink's younger brother Matt hanged himself." Thus begins Kelly's journey into who her brother was, her self-loathing at her inability to help him and her guilt about attempting suicide first. Grief is a solitary exercise and Kelly spirals into her own depression while trying to understand Matt's bipolar disorder and mental illness. Cleaning out Matt's apartment, talking to his friends, reading his blog entries, his college papers and looking at his self-portraits, provides a look into a Matt that Kelly didn't know as her brother. Constantly seeking an answer to "why," supported by her parents and a loving husband, Kelly gives us a look into this grim and painful experience.
A gritty and loving look into the world of mental illness and suicide. The book will make you laugh and cry at the same time. Acceptance under the best of circumstances is difficult, but Kelly portrays her feelings and thoughts realistically without sugar coating the process. Not my usual kind of book, but I received a copy from BookSparks and Netgalley to review. I am so glad, I read it and I recommend it for a serious read this summer.
A gritty and loving look into the world of mental illness and suicide. The book will make you laugh and cry at the same time. Acceptance under the best of circumstances is difficult, but Kelly portrays her feelings and thoughts realistically without sugar coating the process. Not my usual kind of book, but I received a copy from BookSparks and Netgalley to review. I am so glad, I read it and I recommend it for a serious read this summer.
July 13, 2015
This book gives an honest memoir into grief, suicide and mental illness and what it is like to suffer through this. Kelley tries to navigate through her grief to understand the "why" of what her brother did. She goes through her brother's things to gain that understanding. She does gain more of an understanding about her brother and she gives a real and honest look at struggling through depression. This book also shows the process of Kelley and her family trying to heal after something so horrific. Kelley not only tries to understand the "why" of what her brother did, but also the "why" of mental disorders. I think a lot of us either know someone who does or suffer with some kind of depression. This book will make you feel what Kelley is going through and it is written so well. I think she handles a difficult subject matter and makes the subject where it can be discussed. This book sheds some light on a taboo topic and will make you wonder why it is that way. I am so sorry that Kelley and her family had to go through this, but I think it is great that she has written a book so that she could try to understand and possibly help others along the way.
July 29, 2016
{3.75 stars} Ok so where do I even begin with this book? Two weeks before his college graduation, Kelley's younger brother, Matt, commits suicide. His struggle with bipolar disorder and Kelley's depression makes this a very interesting read on mental illness. I think that Kelley had a lot to tell about her life, and the life that Matt had prior to his death. The memoir goes back and forth between stories before Matt's death, the aftermath of the death and how the Clink family is grieving, and also has detailed parts that Kelley shares of her battle with depression. I think one of the major problems I had with this book is the long, detailed passages of imagery and Clink long attempts to analyze parts Matt's death. I can understand fully why it was in the book, but for me, it made reading the book feel slow and boring. Aside from that, I really enjoyed this book. Don't let that stop you from reading this memoir- it was true and had a really wonderful story about mental illness.
*Thanks to NetGalley for sending me a free digital copy in exchange for an honest review.*
*Thanks to NetGalley for sending me a free digital copy in exchange for an honest review.*
July 18, 2015
This story is moving and emotional. It moves back and forth in time, delving into childhood memories, the mental health issues of herself and her brother, and the impact those issues had on their adult lives.
Kelley came from a family where silence was the rule when it came to mental illness, so discovering that Matt had been writing a secret blog for two years before his death came as quite a shock. She found herself wondering if she had ever really known who Matt was.
You can tell there is nothing held back in this memoir. We learn how Kelley felt at the time of her diagnosis, and how it affected her entire family. We also see how the family reacted to Matt's diagnosis. It appears the siblings were the first in their family to suffer from a mental illness.
This was a quick, fascinating read. I've known people with mental health issues, but never this much in depth. It was eye-opening for me.
Kelley came from a family where silence was the rule when it came to mental illness, so discovering that Matt had been writing a secret blog for two years before his death came as quite a shock. She found herself wondering if she had ever really known who Matt was.
You can tell there is nothing held back in this memoir. We learn how Kelley felt at the time of her diagnosis, and how it affected her entire family. We also see how the family reacted to Matt's diagnosis. It appears the siblings were the first in their family to suffer from a mental illness.
This was a quick, fascinating read. I've known people with mental health issues, but never this much in depth. It was eye-opening for me.
July 15, 2015
Warning about this very well written but very painful book - that is, at times, it is very painful and hard to read. The author has a great gift for language and description which makes the reading interesting and easy. I feel sorry, very sorry for the authors brother. He was diagnosed, quite early on, with mental illness ( manic depression) but was not able to right himself or, perhaps, even discuss his problems with his family or friends.
What hit me hard was the cocktail of pills that the author's brother had to take as a teenager and thus he developed a tremor as a side affect, even as a young person.
I do not know if psychiatry or science can solve this modern problem of modern society. Perhaps - I would say probably - there is a genetic predisposition to psychological problems. All one has to do is look at the Hemingway family which has mental illness running through it, generation after generation.
What hit me hard was the cocktail of pills that the author's brother had to take as a teenager and thus he developed a tremor as a side affect, even as a young person.
I do not know if psychiatry or science can solve this modern problem of modern society. Perhaps - I would say probably - there is a genetic predisposition to psychological problems. All one has to do is look at the Hemingway family which has mental illness running through it, generation after generation.
July 17, 2015
Check out the full review at Kritters Ramblings
A set of siblings that both have depression and grew up in the same home and have followed almost the same exact paths, but one sibling ends up hanging himself and the other sibling has great fear that they will end up in the same place.
A true memoir that was completely interesting to me. As a person who loves to read about sibling differences and similarities and reading how one sibling is completely affected by the other, I couldn't put this one down. It was so interesting to read about the relationship between depression and grief and I loved how truthful the author was about how depression and grief fueled each other in her life.
A set of siblings that both have depression and grew up in the same home and have followed almost the same exact paths, but one sibling ends up hanging himself and the other sibling has great fear that they will end up in the same place.
A true memoir that was completely interesting to me. As a person who loves to read about sibling differences and similarities and reading how one sibling is completely affected by the other, I couldn't put this one down. It was so interesting to read about the relationship between depression and grief and I loved how truthful the author was about how depression and grief fueled each other in her life.
July 4, 2018
This memoir, written by my niece, covers her quest to know more about her younger brother after his suicide. Well written, honest, and eloquent, it describes their years together and the years dealing with his death. It is her journey through mental illness, grief, recovery, and personal growth. I rated it 5 stars, though I rarely read books of this subject. If she wasn't my niece, maybe I would have rated it 4 stars—just don't know. But it is a really excellent book. After giving birth to her first child last year she had written an article titled "10 Things I Want My Son to Know Because I Once Attempted Suicide." The article was a distillation of everything she learned about suicide prevention and mental health since her brother's death.
July 1, 2015
I received a copy of "A Different Kind of Same" by Kelley Clink, through the Goodreads First Reads program in exchange for a fair review.
A memoir of this type is typically full of raw emotion and introspection, often creating a moving and powerful experience for the reader. This book had more than its share of emotion, but never managed to make a relevant connection with me. The otherwise excellent narrative tended to lose me when the author often paused to reflect.
I would make a number of other comments about this book, but after reading a draft review I realized that my other comments sounded insensitive considering the subject. As such, I will just leave it by saying this wasn't for me.
A memoir of this type is typically full of raw emotion and introspection, often creating a moving and powerful experience for the reader. This book had more than its share of emotion, but never managed to make a relevant connection with me. The otherwise excellent narrative tended to lose me when the author often paused to reflect.
I would make a number of other comments about this book, but after reading a draft review I realized that my other comments sounded insensitive considering the subject. As such, I will just leave it by saying this wasn't for me.
March 9, 2017
This was a pretty good book, but too much of it was the author's obsessive ramblings of "what could I have done differently?" "What does this mean?" and so on. The rhetorical questions did not forward the narrative. Ultimately, she has no great revelation that resolves her issues with her brother and her own mental health, even though she endlessly asks why.
This is petty, but Carl Wilson sang the lead on "God Only Knows," not Brian. On the video I've seen, Brian is not even with the band, perhaps indisposed at the time.
This is petty, but Carl Wilson sang the lead on "God Only Knows," not Brian. On the video I've seen, Brian is not even with the band, perhaps indisposed at the time.
May 25, 2015
NetGalley provided me with a copy in exchange for an honest review.
The 3 star rating does not mean that I didn't enjoy this memoir; I really did. Kelley Clink's stories about her brother, his mental illness, her own mental illness, and the process of grieving is beautifully written. Pieces of it resonated with me and my own struggles with depression. The two star loss, for me, comes because it was just a slow read.
The 3 star rating does not mean that I didn't enjoy this memoir; I really did. Kelley Clink's stories about her brother, his mental illness, her own mental illness, and the process of grieving is beautifully written. Pieces of it resonated with me and my own struggles with depression. The two star loss, for me, comes because it was just a slow read.
October 11, 2015
A Good Read
This is a great book. I lost a sibling to suicide and found a lot of similarities between Kelley's experience and mine. I think this book would be a good read for anyone who has never lost anyone to suicide. It is very interesting and tells a great story. I am by no means a quick reader so any book I finish in under a week is considered interesting. I finished this book in about five days. Give it a read, you won't be disappointed.
This is a great book. I lost a sibling to suicide and found a lot of similarities between Kelley's experience and mine. I think this book would be a good read for anyone who has never lost anyone to suicide. It is very interesting and tells a great story. I am by no means a quick reader so any book I finish in under a week is considered interesting. I finished this book in about five days. Give it a read, you won't be disappointed.
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