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The Marriage Test: Our 40 Dates Before "I Do"
A crash course in one couple and forty dates that could make or break their marriage before the wedding.
Picking a partner is life’s most important decision, but how are we supposed to make it? Being in love is a good start, but the issues that ultimately wreck marriages—money and monogamy, career and kids—are hard to gauge until you’re actually hitched. So after a few years of dating, Jill Andres and Brook Silva-Braga built The Marriage Test to confirm their compatibility before saying “I do.”
Forty revealing challenges simulate the issues that could tank or strengthen their union. For a month, they swap credit cards, for a weekend they borrow a baby. An embarrassing lunch with their exes tests their trust issues. Sexual gymnastics are required to recreate TV love scenes. From a night of speed dating to 24 hours handcuffed together, the crazy, awkward, emotional trials fling them headfirst into assorted marital minefields.
Is their love strong enough to weather real life? Only forty dates will tell...
Picking a partner is life’s most important decision, but how are we supposed to make it? Being in love is a good start, but the issues that ultimately wreck marriages—money and monogamy, career and kids—are hard to gauge until you’re actually hitched. So after a few years of dating, Jill Andres and Brook Silva-Braga built The Marriage Test to confirm their compatibility before saying “I do.”
Forty revealing challenges simulate the issues that could tank or strengthen their union. For a month, they swap credit cards, for a weekend they borrow a baby. An embarrassing lunch with their exes tests their trust issues. Sexual gymnastics are required to recreate TV love scenes. From a night of speed dating to 24 hours handcuffed together, the crazy, awkward, emotional trials fling them headfirst into assorted marital minefields.
Is their love strong enough to weather real life? Only forty dates will tell...
257 pages, Paperback
First published February 2, 2016
61 people are currently reading
673 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 58 reviews
February 26, 2016
This book was a truly pleasant surprise. The premise is the kind of zany plot crying out to be ruined, I mean made (I mean ruined) into the next big romcom, possibly starring Reese Witherspoon. The problem with books or stories or blogs like these is that people tend to package their relationships into the kind of propaganda that makes single girls weep into their diet soda. It's selective and dishonest and misleading and infuriating. No real relationship is just a highlight reel of greatest hits, and it's not enough to sprinkle in a humanizing anecdote or two about that one time you bickered animatedly about how the toilet paper roll should hang. It was refreshing that both authors seemed to be willing to be brutally, painfully honest, even though that meant revealing many unflattering aspects of their own actions and personalities. It's these admissions that made this book more than a vanity project and actually potentially helpful to single people and couples alike. It also helps that a lot of it was just laugh out loud funny and universally recognizable. Society needs more of this and less manufactured happy endings so that people can go into these things with realistic expectations if at all.
February 18, 2021
I loved this book though I've bee married for over 10 years.
It is not a smarmy "How To" but rather an honest account from two people who set out to check if they were ready for a marriage commitment. They came up with 40 dates which were important to the both of them and spent months actioning them.
From Speed Dating to test what else was available out there for them to swoping credit cards, packing for each other for a road trip and attending couple's counseling. There were dates which demanded hard conversations like the type of marriage contract to enter into and who takes whose last name. Taking care of a baby, divving up chores and doing stuff together as a couple.
I loved this book because it was so much more than a test for compatibility. It was also looking very hard at things which made a partner a unique person and whether the quirks and the myriad of little things we can't change, we can live with. Like a messy partner who leaves a trail of clothes all over the place. Maybe you are someone who is averse to cooking. What compromises can be made.
Some of the testy dates were swoping phones, spending a weekend with each other's family and looking for a house to turn into a home.
An enjoyable read with great life lessons. Lessons which are less about your partner and more about yourself. The degree of openness in your relationship. Deciding to live with someone else in a loving relationship is hard. You have to be open, transparent, trusting and honest. And this is everyday work we have a choice in.
It is not a smarmy "How To" but rather an honest account from two people who set out to check if they were ready for a marriage commitment. They came up with 40 dates which were important to the both of them and spent months actioning them.
From Speed Dating to test what else was available out there for them to swoping credit cards, packing for each other for a road trip and attending couple's counseling. There were dates which demanded hard conversations like the type of marriage contract to enter into and who takes whose last name. Taking care of a baby, divving up chores and doing stuff together as a couple.
I loved this book because it was so much more than a test for compatibility. It was also looking very hard at things which made a partner a unique person and whether the quirks and the myriad of little things we can't change, we can live with. Like a messy partner who leaves a trail of clothes all over the place. Maybe you are someone who is averse to cooking. What compromises can be made.
Some of the testy dates were swoping phones, spending a weekend with each other's family and looking for a house to turn into a home.
An enjoyable read with great life lessons. Lessons which are less about your partner and more about yourself. The degree of openness in your relationship. Deciding to live with someone else in a loving relationship is hard. You have to be open, transparent, trusting and honest. And this is everyday work we have a choice in.
July 4, 2018
It was okay!
January 9, 2016
Brook Silva-Braga (the filmmaker best known for A Map for Saturday) and his girlfriend Jill Andres designed 40 experiments to help them decide whether to get married, and then took turns describing their journey and its outcomes in this honest and insightful memoir. The Marriage Test is not gimmicky self-help relationship advice, nor is it a dating website's complicated algorithm in book form; it's arguably more helpful than either, and such a great read that I cheated it to the top of my TR list after being sucked in by the first few pages.
The 40 "dates" were hands on, creative ways to take stock of and strengthen relationships both before and after marriage. I've been with my spouse (happily!) for six years and I still found myself wanting to recreate many of the experiments that had obviously served to strengthen Brook and Jill's relationship in areas that all couples stumble over, often more than once, in the course of their marriage.
Brook and Jill are both intelligent, caring, and seemingly compatible people, and I loved that the premise of the book was not to "fix" a broken relationship, or change themselves, but to really fortify an already good relationship via activities meant initially just to test it. The fact that The Marriage Test was a moving, honest memoir at the same time that it nailed love truth was an added bonus.
EXPERIMENTS
Experiments are grouped into the major pitfall risks for any long term relationship: trust/security, money, kids, sex, in-laws, religion, communication, quality time, partnership, marriage prep, and the long haul. Most sounded terrifying, worth it, and kind of fun? Some of the 40 "dates":
Speed date to test your devotion (yes, both of you, at the same event)
Record and play back an argument (realize when your inner Bill O'Reilly is taking over)
Re-enact every sex scene you see together for seven days (monogamy is a tall order if you're not willing to spice it up sometimes )
Reveal every last bank account, debt, credit card, etc so there are no surprise bankruptcies in your ever after
Lunch date with the exes (evaluate your mutual pasts and progress)
Separately write down your ideal life timelines and compare them
Schedule and execute an 'ideal day' for your partner
Opt out of technology every night for week
Find and interview a longtime happily married couple
Write, text, or FB an in-law every day for a week (get that all important and very delicate relationship started in an open, caring way)
Take turns waking up every four hours for a week (this ~5% of actual long term baby sleep deprivation so if you can't do it I hope you can afford a night nurse)
About 36 of the tests struck me as legitimately helpful ways to strengthen and test a relationship before marriage, which makes The Marriage Test an incredible resource. The other 4-ish still seemed fun, and I wish I'd had this book six years ago.
I don't think the tests would have made my husband and I any more sure about a decision we were pretty ready to make, but they absolutely would have made some of our struggles along the way much easier to navigate. Jill and Brook could have called their book "Marriage Preppers: 40 Ways to Make Your Love a Fortress," though The Marriage Test sounds way better.
"If you wait for something perfect, you'll never take that leap," says one couples counselor in the book, and it's true. This book won't save a toxic relationship, but if you're already thinking about marriage, it will help you build a parachute for the long, exhilarating jump ahead.
The 40 "dates" were hands on, creative ways to take stock of and strengthen relationships both before and after marriage. I've been with my spouse (happily!) for six years and I still found myself wanting to recreate many of the experiments that had obviously served to strengthen Brook and Jill's relationship in areas that all couples stumble over, often more than once, in the course of their marriage.
Brook and Jill are both intelligent, caring, and seemingly compatible people, and I loved that the premise of the book was not to "fix" a broken relationship, or change themselves, but to really fortify an already good relationship via activities meant initially just to test it. The fact that The Marriage Test was a moving, honest memoir at the same time that it nailed love truth was an added bonus.
EXPERIMENTS
Experiments are grouped into the major pitfall risks for any long term relationship: trust/security, money, kids, sex, in-laws, religion, communication, quality time, partnership, marriage prep, and the long haul. Most sounded terrifying, worth it, and kind of fun? Some of the 40 "dates":
Speed date to test your devotion (yes, both of you, at the same event)
Record and play back an argument (realize when your inner Bill O'Reilly is taking over)
Re-enact every sex scene you see together for seven days (monogamy is a tall order if you're not willing to spice it up sometimes )
Reveal every last bank account, debt, credit card, etc so there are no surprise bankruptcies in your ever after
Lunch date with the exes (evaluate your mutual pasts and progress)
Separately write down your ideal life timelines and compare them
Schedule and execute an 'ideal day' for your partner
Opt out of technology every night for week
Find and interview a longtime happily married couple
Write, text, or FB an in-law every day for a week (get that all important and very delicate relationship started in an open, caring way)
Take turns waking up every four hours for a week (this ~5% of actual long term baby sleep deprivation so if you can't do it I hope you can afford a night nurse)
About 36 of the tests struck me as legitimately helpful ways to strengthen and test a relationship before marriage, which makes The Marriage Test an incredible resource. The other 4-ish still seemed fun, and I wish I'd had this book six years ago.
I don't think the tests would have made my husband and I any more sure about a decision we were pretty ready to make, but they absolutely would have made some of our struggles along the way much easier to navigate. Jill and Brook could have called their book "Marriage Preppers: 40 Ways to Make Your Love a Fortress," though The Marriage Test sounds way better.
"If you wait for something perfect, you'll never take that leap," says one couples counselor in the book, and it's true. This book won't save a toxic relationship, but if you're already thinking about marriage, it will help you build a parachute for the long, exhilarating jump ahead.
September 24, 2017
I liked it, the marriage tests were interesting. Jill was a little whiney but I liked Brook. its fascinating to see what the inside of relationships look like. "See me and come live with me..." some of the tests were strange, like the one about the anonymous survey asking "Should we be together?" I think they should have been more confident in their relationship than that, it could have went south. Decent read.
August 16, 2025
DnF. This was a book written by two people unsure if they should get married. But if you need to do all the stupid stuff they did to ensure that Marriage is right for you, it's probably not.
February 8, 2016
It was a very unique and interesting book.
A couple, Brook and Jill had 40 kinds of dates, such as "Trading Credit Cards" date that they trade their credit card and use it, "Silent Night" date that they don't say anything out loud, "Can't Touch This" date that they can't touch each other etc. and talk about those dates in this book.
They figured out some problems about their relationship and their own personality, and also found out some good things about themselves through the dates.
Their experiences made me realize that I don't know about my relationship and even myself well.
Actually, I want to try some of the dates they had. But I don't think I can do all of them. I mean I'm afraid that some of the dates might destroy our relationship. So I think Brook and Jill are kind of brave, or maybe they were somewhat confident that their relationship was not that fragile. Anyway, they had a profitable experience and wrote this intriguing book.
I did enjoy it and though some things deeply.
(I received this book for an honest review.)
A couple, Brook and Jill had 40 kinds of dates, such as "Trading Credit Cards" date that they trade their credit card and use it, "Silent Night" date that they don't say anything out loud, "Can't Touch This" date that they can't touch each other etc. and talk about those dates in this book.
They figured out some problems about their relationship and their own personality, and also found out some good things about themselves through the dates.
Their experiences made me realize that I don't know about my relationship and even myself well.
Actually, I want to try some of the dates they had. But I don't think I can do all of them. I mean I'm afraid that some of the dates might destroy our relationship. So I think Brook and Jill are kind of brave, or maybe they were somewhat confident that their relationship was not that fragile. Anyway, they had a profitable experience and wrote this intriguing book.
I did enjoy it and though some things deeply.
(I received this book for an honest review.)
February 25, 2021
This book was super cute- taking stunt non-fiction to the next level. This couple put themselves through rigorous challenges on the road to deciding whether or not to get married. Challenges included borrowing a baby for a weekend, swapping phones for 24 hours, and disclosing all financial information. Some of the challenges seemed like a great idea- such as the one where they spent a week of evenings away from screens and played board games and just hung out. Others seemed a little extreme- trading credit cards for a month?! Asking close friends and family to complete a survey as to whether or not they belong together?! Asking close friends to “act out” how they perceive the couple in various stressful situations (which, of course, basically turned into a roast)?! Hanging out with each other’s exes to see what went wrong there?!
At the end of the book they list all 40 dates and recommend that you follow them while you are still dating. I just don’t think a lot of them are necessary. Very charming and entertaining, but not something I’ll be replicating!
At the end of the book they list all 40 dates and recommend that you follow them while you are still dating. I just don’t think a lot of them are necessary. Very charming and entertaining, but not something I’ll be replicating!
January 12, 2016
Brook and Jill have written a great book to help you test your relationship. They do say right away that this isn't the make or break type of test, but it will certainly help you challenge yourself and your relationship.
The "Test" contains 40 various dates/challenges that you can do that will test your relationship on one (or more) various fronts (sex, money, etc.) Some are definitely more adventurous and challenging than others, but all can provide some type of insight into you and your relationship.
It's a good read and a fun set of things to do with your significant other!
The "Test" contains 40 various dates/challenges that you can do that will test your relationship on one (or more) various fronts (sex, money, etc.) Some are definitely more adventurous and challenging than others, but all can provide some type of insight into you and your relationship.
It's a good read and a fun set of things to do with your significant other!
October 3, 2025
I hope these two learn to build a life and family without the need for “challenges” or “dates” to navigate hard conversations. I almost didn’t continue on in this book because the characters in the early chapters were insufferable. Felt like hearing from middle schoolers. They do progress through the book, but it felt like reading the evolution of characters. My guess (hope?) is that this was a bit contrived to dramatize the progress through the book/dates. Would not recommend as an actual book on marriage or relationships. Felt more like trivial fiction to me.
February 23, 2016
I thought this was a fun read! It was like a Bravo show with lovable characters. A nice, light read. Very creative.
October 30, 2022
I read this book to see if anything would be useful in improving my own marriage, and honestly, I think there was some points to come out of it. However, this couple's marriage was clearly not my own, with different issues of their own to solve.
Brook and Jill navigate their various hangups into major sections, Trust, Money, Kids, etc... with each section consisting of a few 'dates', a colloquialism for relationship tests. The first part of this book was painful and not relatable to me because I am simply monogamous and we haven't had any issues on this front. I don't relate to any of the cheating or desire to cheat that Brook seems to have. If I were to suggest 'speed dating' to my wife to test our relationship, it would probably cause some issues! Also, it was confusing that Brook was a dude's name. I thought at first that this book followed multiple couples, one of which was a lesbian couple.
It was very tempting to say "Oh this doesn't apply to our marriage; nor does this. I guess our marriage is good then!" but that's not really the point. The money section was the first area where I related a little. A lot of the early tests were about compatibility, and testing areas that might not be obvious at first. It was only further in the book that part of their transformation was more illuminating. Brook says about his change: p137 "I didn't find any shortcuts on that journey, and no one cheered a ... step of it. At the end, at best, you got a skeptical nod -- Okay, it looks like you might meet the minimum requirements now." I genuinely appreciated that acknowledgement that no one owed him anything, just because he tried a little.
Thankfully, the rest of the book followed this sort of thought train. Where does the relationship suffer or not function optimally because of my behaviour, how can I change it, and how do I make it happen? As I read through the book, I asked my wife about things I had not thought to ask, or hadn't in awhile. Most things were good, but there were definitely a few areas that we can still improve!
Overall, this wasn't a hard read, and while much of it didn't apply to our relationship, there were small nuggets of insight in between the pages.
Brook and Jill navigate their various hangups into major sections, Trust, Money, Kids, etc... with each section consisting of a few 'dates', a colloquialism for relationship tests. The first part of this book was painful and not relatable to me because I am simply monogamous and we haven't had any issues on this front. I don't relate to any of the cheating or desire to cheat that Brook seems to have. If I were to suggest 'speed dating' to my wife to test our relationship, it would probably cause some issues! Also, it was confusing that Brook was a dude's name. I thought at first that this book followed multiple couples, one of which was a lesbian couple.
It was very tempting to say "Oh this doesn't apply to our marriage; nor does this. I guess our marriage is good then!" but that's not really the point. The money section was the first area where I related a little. A lot of the early tests were about compatibility, and testing areas that might not be obvious at first. It was only further in the book that part of their transformation was more illuminating. Brook says about his change: p137 "I didn't find any shortcuts on that journey, and no one cheered a ... step of it. At the end, at best, you got a skeptical nod -- Okay, it looks like you might meet the minimum requirements now." I genuinely appreciated that acknowledgement that no one owed him anything, just because he tried a little.
Thankfully, the rest of the book followed this sort of thought train. Where does the relationship suffer or not function optimally because of my behaviour, how can I change it, and how do I make it happen? As I read through the book, I asked my wife about things I had not thought to ask, or hadn't in awhile. Most things were good, but there were definitely a few areas that we can still improve!
Overall, this wasn't a hard read, and while much of it didn't apply to our relationship, there were small nuggets of insight in between the pages.
June 29, 2017
40 dates till I do.
There are 23 days left until 'I do', or 'I will'- we haven't ironed out vows yet.
My pastor loaned us this book to read after our first meeting with her regarding our wedding.
She had given us some of the scenarios to think over and I found them intriguing and well- thought out.
I had no idea how entertaining, readable and relatable the actual book would be.
I immediately appreciated how differently Brook and Jill think, write and exist.
It was refreshing. They are each great writers in their own way. Haha but I was legitimately thrown off by their mention of 'Book Writer 2.0' or whatever. I'm like, wait, what, there's an app for that? I think it was a joke... ?
I just feel like Brook and Jill would be great people to know. Preparing for marriage, even navigating the relationship with my fiancé, has inevitably brought my attention to how his mother and my mother (and fathers) acted in situations, how our siblings have begun to build their adult lives, and how our friends and other relations have approached monogamy.
I felt in tune with Brook and Jill. Each couple our age still has idiosyncrasies, as they well highlight when they reiterate that the only two people who actually know your relationship are you and your partner.
I couldn't put the book down. I procrastinated reading the last few pages. Help! It's one of those moments where I fear the next book will never measure up to the joy of the last. ... Sequel!?
Thank you. I will recommend this book to all married and engaged friends.
Blessings on your union.
There are 23 days left until 'I do', or 'I will'- we haven't ironed out vows yet.
My pastor loaned us this book to read after our first meeting with her regarding our wedding.
She had given us some of the scenarios to think over and I found them intriguing and well- thought out.
I had no idea how entertaining, readable and relatable the actual book would be.
I immediately appreciated how differently Brook and Jill think, write and exist.
It was refreshing. They are each great writers in their own way. Haha but I was legitimately thrown off by their mention of 'Book Writer 2.0' or whatever. I'm like, wait, what, there's an app for that? I think it was a joke... ?
I just feel like Brook and Jill would be great people to know. Preparing for marriage, even navigating the relationship with my fiancé, has inevitably brought my attention to how his mother and my mother (and fathers) acted in situations, how our siblings have begun to build their adult lives, and how our friends and other relations have approached monogamy.
I felt in tune with Brook and Jill. Each couple our age still has idiosyncrasies, as they well highlight when they reiterate that the only two people who actually know your relationship are you and your partner.
I couldn't put the book down. I procrastinated reading the last few pages. Help! It's one of those moments where I fear the next book will never measure up to the joy of the last. ... Sequel!?
Thank you. I will recommend this book to all married and engaged friends.
Blessings on your union.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
August 20, 2017
There are people out there who believe in romance and there are people who believe in the scientific method and then there are people who believe in both. I am super on the same page as the authors and loved their commitment to determining their commitment to each other. Some of the experiments were meh (being handcuffed for 24 hours) or terrible (DO NOT ever attempt to play act each other's personalities/neuroses!) but most of them were inventive and a brilliant approximation of marriage (biggest call-out: pretending to have a baby wake you up every three hours for a week!). As a book, sometimes the narrative felt constrained by the formula, but I enjoyed being on this journey with them as they discovered more about each other and their relationship.
December 16, 2018
While I know this book is intended for those in a budding relations and while I am very happily married, I actually think this book could be a fun way to reconnect with a spouse. It’s intentions are to make sure you are compatible with your significant other, but there’s also an emphasis on dedicating specific, allotted time to each other (which sometimes falls by the wayside when you’re running around after little kids, helping your parents, traveling for work, etc). There are also simple reminders about good communications techniques with your partner and ways to have fun together (or spice things up a bit too!) Easy, enjoyable read written by a couple that admits to not always being perfect, but who are committed to giving their relationship their best and their all!
March 7, 2019
Going in I thought that this was a cute idea for a book as long as they weren't promoting this as something serious that every couple should go through. Once I read a few chapters and was reassured this isn't a self-help book I settled in and really liked it. I liked both their voices as they alternated but whether it was personality or gender or a little of both, I could relate to Jill a little more than Brook.
Even as someone who's been married awhile there were a few challenges that made me think but there were also a few that I knew were going to be problematic, both for the potential of things going too far and because it just doesn't matter so there's not a lot of positive things to be gained by the risk anyway...the one where they imitated each other and the one where their friends imitated them.
The challenge where they packed for each other made me laugh because it reminded me of a moment I'll never let my husband live down. I went grocery shopping with my mom and when I came home my husband had surprised me by planning a weekend away so the kids were gone and he had my bag ready. I don't like surprises anyway so the first thing I did was cry because if I'd known I wasn't going to see the kids for 2 days instead of what I thought was a quick trip to the store, I would've hugged and kissed them goodbye. Once we got past that hurdle and to the hotel the second "WTF was he thinking?!?!" moment happened...he had packed a shirt for me that I had never worn before because it was a little tight. Obviously that's why he picked it but that wasn't the main issue...It was a Halloween shirt that said, "Are you a good witch or a bad witch?" on it. And our trip was to a book festival. In JULY. Needless to say, we had to make a stop at Target so I could get another shirt. So he got points for trying but it's definitely one of our funnier 'dinner party' stories to retell over and over.
A Few Quotes from the Book
"Picking a partner is the most important decision any of us will ever make, but how are we supposed to make it? Being in love is obviously a good start, but the things that ultimately wreck marriages - money and monogamy, career and kids - are hard to practice for until you're actually hitched. What if she spends too much? What if I'm a bad dad? You can be together for years without ever truly auditioning each other for the Big Job."
"At its best, this Marriage Test shined a light on problems we'd overlooked or issues we avoided confronting. But at its worst, it felt like we'd put our relationship up on a pedestal and instead of admiring its beauty we were circling its faults...The love we shared and the problems we had overcome mattered at least as much as our shortcomings."
"The magic of partnership is finding someone who can love you in spite of yourself, someone willing to adapt to your personality quirks and vice versa."
Find all my reviews at: https://readingatrandom.blogspot.com
Even as someone who's been married awhile there were a few challenges that made me think but there were also a few that I knew were going to be problematic, both for the potential of things going too far and because it just doesn't matter so there's not a lot of positive things to be gained by the risk anyway...the one where they imitated each other and the one where their friends imitated them.
The challenge where they packed for each other made me laugh because it reminded me of a moment I'll never let my husband live down. I went grocery shopping with my mom and when I came home my husband had surprised me by planning a weekend away so the kids were gone and he had my bag ready. I don't like surprises anyway so the first thing I did was cry because if I'd known I wasn't going to see the kids for 2 days instead of what I thought was a quick trip to the store, I would've hugged and kissed them goodbye. Once we got past that hurdle and to the hotel the second "WTF was he thinking?!?!" moment happened...he had packed a shirt for me that I had never worn before because it was a little tight. Obviously that's why he picked it but that wasn't the main issue...It was a Halloween shirt that said, "Are you a good witch or a bad witch?" on it. And our trip was to a book festival. In JULY. Needless to say, we had to make a stop at Target so I could get another shirt. So he got points for trying but it's definitely one of our funnier 'dinner party' stories to retell over and over.
A Few Quotes from the Book
"Picking a partner is the most important decision any of us will ever make, but how are we supposed to make it? Being in love is obviously a good start, but the things that ultimately wreck marriages - money and monogamy, career and kids - are hard to practice for until you're actually hitched. What if she spends too much? What if I'm a bad dad? You can be together for years without ever truly auditioning each other for the Big Job."
"At its best, this Marriage Test shined a light on problems we'd overlooked or issues we avoided confronting. But at its worst, it felt like we'd put our relationship up on a pedestal and instead of admiring its beauty we were circling its faults...The love we shared and the problems we had overcome mattered at least as much as our shortcomings."
"The magic of partnership is finding someone who can love you in spite of yourself, someone willing to adapt to your personality quirks and vice versa."
Find all my reviews at: https://readingatrandom.blogspot.com
July 11, 2020
I was not particularly impressed by the premise of this marriage test, the idea of “auditioning” a potential marriage. I believe that choosing a marriage partner isn’t about finding someone with whom everything is easy, it’s about finding the person who makes you truly want to put in the hard work to make a marriage work.
Despite my bad first impression, though, it becomes clear through the course of the book that Jill and Brook come to understand this idea, that marriage is hard work. The challenges of the marriage test help them recognize and begin this hard work as a team, and it was truly a pleasure to read as they came to support each other more and more.
Despite my bad first impression, though, it becomes clear through the course of the book that Jill and Brook come to understand this idea, that marriage is hard work. The challenges of the marriage test help them recognize and begin this hard work as a team, and it was truly a pleasure to read as they came to support each other more and more.
August 2, 2020
One of the smartest books on getting ready to be married I've ever heard of, much less read! Their "dates" help them develop a deeper understanding of each other, provided growth in their communication, and even led to laughter and closeness. I would ABSOLUTELY recommend this book to people thinking of getting married, or even couples who are already married, yet feel that there's something missing in their relationship!!
I cannot recommend this book more highly. If I were headed for marriage or had a life-partner capable of participating, I would probably tie them to a chair until they agreed to take part! :D
I cannot recommend this book more highly. If I were headed for marriage or had a life-partner capable of participating, I would probably tie them to a chair until they agreed to take part! :D
November 3, 2021
Suggestive things to do before we commit to any relation especially if we are looking for a long term commitment. The 40 dates are great and allows us to see where we may have our concerns. It is a great idea for any couple especially when indecisive on there relationship. The speed date is truly remarkable makes us see what we have versus what is out there. The idea of a card for those common bills was also great. A great read but work best if both parties are doing it together not suggestive of one. Definitely recommend it.
November 29, 2024
I can’t believe I read this book
Firstly, if you had asked me in the beginning if these two would get married I would have said no. It was just so contrived and really a bit ridiculous. I have decided anyone who grew up with phones computers and social media cannot have an honest real conversation. Terrible. Sorry. I hope you are having more fun now that you are married but I doubt it.
Firstly, if you had asked me in the beginning if these two would get married I would have said no. It was just so contrived and really a bit ridiculous. I have decided anyone who grew up with phones computers and social media cannot have an honest real conversation. Terrible. Sorry. I hope you are having more fun now that you are married but I doubt it.
April 6, 2018
While this particular couple was a bit beyond my economic class, making a lot of their lives about as fantastical as "Lord of the Rings", I found this book sweet and enjoyable. They lessons they learned can be applied to couples of any financial standing, so I was able to picture myself in many of the parts (which was my goal, so, success!)
December 5, 2020
I’m not sure why I had this in my to read list ... was it free? Recommended? Was I drunk or overtired when I added it? Not sure but it was ok, interesting I guess, a little too planned out for me as far as figuring out relationship compatibility. I mean Allen & I probably wouldn’t have made it through the 40 dates if we’d done this first but here we are, 20 years later.
May 5, 2017
Cheesy but good. They bring up lots of eye-opening relationship points that most don't consider before marriage. Happy for the couples success! Not so happy that it's pointing to my current relationship not being such a successful one, so I owe the authors a bittersweet gratitude.
July 1, 2017
Fun, interesting book. Sometimes the couple felt immature and I was annoyed with them and how unsure they seemed to be about being with each other, but overall interesting concept and they addressed some important issues in relationships.
December 15, 2018
This was an interesting read about a couple's journey from boyfriend and girlfriend to husband and wife. The "Quality Time" dates made the most sense to me and I might even try them out myself! A few issues with editing but otherwise a good, easy-to-read book
July 21, 2020
Totally recommend this book
Practical advice that's funny, tough, courageous and smart
I love that you hear each partner's opinions, input from the therapist, input from some friends. Makes it feel so accessible, including the toughest times.
Practical advice that's funny, tough, courageous and smart
I love that you hear each partner's opinions, input from the therapist, input from some friends. Makes it feel so accessible, including the toughest times.
March 2, 2023
My friend Minjun shared this book with me when we are having dinner in Boston; I believe she said that this was her colleague and her husband. I liked how honest they were, and they seem like a really interesting couple. Some of the date ideas were phenomenal.
June 19, 2023
+ 1 whole star for bravery and emotional honesty.
This was half absurd and half very sweet and loving. I recognized many hard-earned lessons from my own long 2-part relationship. I appreciated the humor.
This was half absurd and half very sweet and loving. I recognized many hard-earned lessons from my own long 2-part relationship. I appreciated the humor.
February 15, 2025
3.5
It’s cute, not too preachy. By the time we get to the vows, you kind of feel like you know the couple.
I’m already married, but it was fun to see comparisons and similarities to conversations my husband and I had before the I Do.
It’s cute, not too preachy. By the time we get to the vows, you kind of feel like you know the couple.
I’m already married, but it was fun to see comparisons and similarities to conversations my husband and I had before the I Do.
December 29, 2018
The most honest book I have ever read about relationships.
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