When Gifted Kids Don't Have All the Answers: How to Meet Their Social and Emotional Needs

by Judy Galbraith, Jim Delisle

Gifted kids are so much more than test scores and grades. Still, it’s sometimes difficult to see past the potential to the child who may be anxious, lonely, confused, or unsure of what the future might bring. This book, now fully revised with updated information and new survey quotes, offers practical suggestions for addressing the social and emotional needs of gifted students. The authors present ways to advocate for gifted education; help gifted underachievers, perfectionists, and twice-exceptional students; and provide all gifted kids with a safe, supportive learning environment. Complete with engaging stories, strategies, activities, and resources, this book is for anyone committed to helping gifted students thrive. Includes online digital content.

Genres: Education, Parenting, Nonfiction, Teaching, Psychology

471 pages, Kindle Edition

First published March 31, 2002

About the author

As a former classroom teacher and specialist in gifted education, Judy Galbraith , MA recognized a clear need for books to help children and teens navigate life’s challenges. Judy founded Free Spirit Publishing in 1983 becoming the first publisher to focus on self-help materials to help young people lead better lives. Her first books, and the first titles for Free Spirit Publishing, grew out of her master’s thesis paper and they're still in print today...The Gifted Kids’ Survival Guides (for ages 10 & under and for teens).

Not having a business or publishing background, Judy learned about growing Free Spirit the hard way. “I always tell people that I’ve done just about everything wrong...once. I’m a strong believer in the importance of persistence in the face of challenges. With every mistake or bad thing that might happen in our lives, there’s always, always an opportunity to learn, improve, and grow. By modeling this mindset for children and teens through our deeds and through resources such as the ones we create at Free Spirit, we can help young people do and be their best in all areas of their lives. I grew up around books, and I firmly believe they have the power to inspire, inform, and transform.”

Judy is proud of the accolades Free Spirit’s books consistently garner from professionals, but she says, “How do we know our books really work? The letters from our readers. Almost every day we receive fan mail about how our books have helped someone. Those letters make it easy for us to stay true to our mission which is to provide children and teens - and the adults who care about them—with the tools they need to succeed in life and to make a difference in the world.”

In addition to The Gifted Kids’ Survival Guides, Judy is the coauthor of What Teens Need to Succeed: Proven, Practical Ways to Shape Your Own Future; What Kids Need to Succeed: Proven, Practical Ways to Raise Good Kids; and When Gifted Kids Don’t Have All the Answers: How to Meet Their Social and Emotional Needs.

Judy served ten years on the Board of Directors of Search Institute, a nonprofit research organization dedicated to advancing the well-being of children and adolescents. From 2007–2010, she was a member of Minnesota 4-H Foundation Board of Trustees. In 1996, Galbraith received the E. Paul Torrance Creativity Award; in 2004, she was named the Midwest Publisher of the Year; and in 2011, she was awarded with the California Association for the Gifted (CAG) Ruth A. Martinson Award. She has appeared on Oprah and been featured in Family Circle and Family Life, as well as numerous other magazines, newspapers, and broadcast and electronic media. She is a member of the Association of Booksellers for Children, the Association of Educational Publishers, the Midwest Independent Publishers Association, and the National Association for Gifted Children.

Judy grew up in Green Bay, Wisconsin, received a degree in education from the University of Wisconsin at Steven’s Point, and holds a master’s degree in guidance and counseling of the gifted from Norwich University, Vermont. She is a sailor and enjoys adventure travel, reading (of course!), community activism, and taking long walks with her rescue dogs, Sally and Twiggy. Judy lives with her partner, Gary, in Minneapolis, Minnesota.

Reviews

[Tanya · Rating 3 out of 5]

Whereas previously, I saw "gifted" kids as "smart" kids, I did not realize until I became a parent that there are heavy burdens socially and emotionally that are a part of the definition of gifted, which is unlike the smart kids. This book examined how to deal with children that are filled with anxiety, perfectionistic attitudes, and uncertainty. It described how they feel lonely, alienated, and confused because of their asynchronous development and lack of support from peers, teachers and other adults. The target audience for this book was teachers and administrators, not parents, but I gained valuable insight about ways to help create a supportive environment.

The topic of identifying gifted children was one of the most interesting to me, particularly as this is the first step of the process in getting children the kind of education and support they need. In reading this book, it made me more aware of the politics of having a label of "gifted" and more deeply, the difficulties in obtaining appropriate support.

Some additional resources pointed out in the book that I may want to research as they pertain to journaling as a strategy for support of gifted children are:
1) Write Where You are: How to Use Writing to Make Sense of Your Life, A Guide for Teens by Caryn Mirriam-Goldberg
2) The New Diary: How to Use a Journal for Self-Guidance and Expanded Creativity by Tristine Rainer.

I really liked the first-person stories and felt they added insightful examples to the teaching points.

[Sheridan · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a book geared for teachers who are working with gifted kids.

As a parent, there was some good information, but it wasn't very useful. So, I wouldn't recommend it for parents.

However, I think it was great for a teacher and I would hope that all teachers would read it. It is statistically likely that almost every classroom has at least one gifted child in it. This books gives ideas on how to figure out which children may be gifted. It also has a lot of great ideas on how to teach gifted kids.

[Mike Boyd · Rating 4 out of 5]

I used to work with a woman who would refuse to help her "gifted" kids, saying that "if they're all 'that,' then they can figure it out themselves." I referred her to this book, a great book in helping adults understand that "gifted" kids are a) still kids, and b) have many of the same issues that regular kids have, if not worse in terms of social skills. The book includes a number of first person narratives that, in all honesty, got old for me as a first time reader. At first they add to the point, but after awhile seem to clog the pacing of the book. Still, I highly recommend this for teachers, parents, and anyone who works with advanced students.

[Renee Doucette · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is worth reading if you interact with any gifted or advanced learners. There are loads of practical strategies. Information about GT kids compiles wide ranging research in the field. The beginning acts as an introduction to gifted kids, like many professional texts in this area, so a review or a section to skip depending on your experience. I've read a lot about GT SEL needs this school year, and I found this to be a resource that I know I'll return to many times.

[Cmaurer · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book is intended as a guide for teachers so while I'm not the intended audience there were some interesting tips and framing for parents. I appreciated the multiple perspectives the authors approached in capturing diverse ways giftedness shows up. Much of the book felt pretty outdated and not enough attention was given to discriminatory practices. I also felt there was a very strong emphasis on shaping identity as 'gifted' which I am not sure I agree with.

[Jervaise · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very easy to read for teachers and parents. Discusses all elements of gifted in a thoughtful and complete way. Good examples and options for lessons embedded in the text—a lot of potential to reproduce with own gifted students.

[Sortal · Rating 3 out of 5]

This focuses exclusively on an American context and often doesn't generalise to gifted education elsewhere. Delisle has wonderful keynotes and presentations on YouTube, which I highly recommend instead of this book.

[Kokeshi · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you are a teacher this is the book for you.

[Kristen Fort · Rating 2 out of 5]

Some of this book was cringe worthy.

[Julianne Read · Rating 4 out of 5]

Lots of good info - especially for social emotional needs.

[Jeanette Beaulieu · Rating 3 out of 5]

Was hoping for more solutions not just examples after examples of what giftedness is and looks like. Perhaps I didn't read the description well enough

[Brett Van Gaasbeek · Rating 2 out of 5]

I read this title for a group study of educators for gifted instruction certification, so to be fair I was not enthralled by the subject-matter so as to pick up this book on its own merit. While some of the book was useful in helping the reader to understand the gifted student, it was lacking in real tangible support for true change within the system. Most of the book was espousing the importance of instruction and support for this subset of students, yet most schools could never afford such programs and support staffing and most state governments have yet to provide adequate legal status and funding for them either. So, this becomes a book that is long on the preaching and short on the practice.

[Gregory · Rating 3 out of 5]

I am not a teacher, but this book called to mind teachers that I had in my past and elements of my life growing up as a gifted kid (and the person that I am now). I was very fortunate to have had the teachers I had. I felt that the frustrations, quandaries, and challenges met by such students in their schooling were chronicled very well, with a good breadth of examples. I was surprised that George Betts's autonomous learner module was not mentioned, but its shared tenets are addressed piecemeal throughout the book.

I recommend this book not as the authority on education of gifted students, but definitely as a strong, helpful resource.

[Catherine Gillespie · Rating 3 out of 5]

Although When Gifted Kids Don’t Have All the Answersis really geared toward teachers in a classroom setting I did find it a helpful source for conversation starters. After reading this book I feel even more respect for teachers who handle rooms full of gifted kids of different types and levels, and was glad that I only have to focus on my three scholars for now! If you’re reading it from a parenting perspective, the book does have several great ideas for how to talk to your kids about things like perfectionism and goal setting.

{Read my full review here}

[Sunshine Moore · Rating 3 out of 5]

Not what I was hoping for, which would have been more insight for how a parent can provide better social and emotional support for gifted children. I also need advice for handling children in a single family with different learning styles and types of giftedness. I'm afraid my underachieving spacial-visual child is being unfairly compared (by herself and others) to her overachieving math minded older sister. It's not a bad book, but it is intended more for the classroom than the home.

[Alisha · Rating 4 out of 5]

What a great book for working with gifted students! It is FULL of activities for teachers who work primarily with this population, or are trying to integrate them into a regular ed classroom. And it looks at giftedness from the "emotional and social" perspective, which is so important to understand when working with a gifted student.

[Callie Cox · Rating 4 out of 5]

Interesting read as a former gifted kid — there are few explanations given to us as to why our education was different but this can give some answers to those who grew up in this era. New iterations of this book might include references to ASD & ADHD and integrate special education concepts with neurodivergence & individualized education plans to promote integration.

[Lori · Rating 3 out of 5]

I think this is a great resource for teachers. I gained some insight into the "gifted" world as viewed by professionals. I need to read something geared for parents if it is going to be useful to me for my son.

[Mandy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Highly recommend this one for teachers of the gifted, parents of the gifted...and the gifted themselves.

Full of lots of great information...and great explanations.

[Debbie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Must have for parents of gifted kids

[Kristi · Rating 5 out of 5]

Read a year ago.... It was a great book, answered a lot of questions for me!

[Kylie Fager · Rating 4 out of 5]

Helpful, I am clueless in this area and it helped me to see past the norm.

[Marnie Cushing · Rating 5 out of 5]

Outstanding! I'm going to have my daughter read this while she's studying to become a teacher!

[K Kenny · Rating 5 out of 5]

A very interesting look at perfectionism and procrastination in children with high IQ and ability.

[Susie Colfer]

It was okay, but more for a classroom setting than home.

[Heidi · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you're a parent of gifted children, this is an excellent guide on nurturing them, advocating for them, and understanding them. I loved it.

[Stephanie · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book provided a succinct background on the field of GT education, followed by a narrow focus on gifted kids' social-emotional needs.

[Jennifer · Rating 3 out of 5]

Not a bad book, but definitely geared towards teachers and not parents. Might be worth picking up and re-reading in a few years.

[Bridgette Harrell · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very informative!!

[Andreana · Rating 4 out of 5]

I had to read this for a GT training but I actually enjoyed it. It reminded me of growing up as a gifted kid and gave me some fresh ideas for teaching my gifted students.