Hoodwinked: Ten Myths Moms Believe & Why We All Need to Knock It Off

by Karen Ehman, Ruth Schwenk

In Hoodwinked, Karen Ehman and Ruth Schwenk offer moms advice and “we’ve been there” encouragement as they tackle the challenges they face due to myths they believe. Myths such as “I am doing it the right and only way” put up fences between moms who may tackle mothering a little differently instead of building bridges of encouragement between them. Lies such as “I am my child’s choices” tempt moms to wrongly believe that if their child makes a bad choice then they must be a bad mom.



This audiobook will enable mothers to:



• Identify the six myths of motherhood our current culture perpetuates
• Replace the lies with the truth of what God says in scripture
• Form new thinking patterns to help them align their thoughts with God’s
• Forge healthy, supportive relationships with other moms of all ages and stages
• Confidently embrace the calling of motherhood as they care for their families in their own unique way



A six-session video Bible study is also available.

Genres: Parenting, Nonfiction, Christian, Christian Living, Relationships, Faith

Audio CD

First published November 1, 2015

About the author

Karen Ehman is a speaker, a New York Times bestselling author, a contributing writer for Proverbs 31 Ministries Encouragement for Today online devotions and a teacher in the First 5 Bible study app. She has written 21 books and Bible studies including Keep It Shut: What to Say, How to Say It, and When to Say Nothing at All and the 2020 ECPA devotional book of the year Settle My Soul. She is a graduate of Spring Arbor University and serves as President-Elect of their Alumni Board of Directors. She has been featured on TODAY Parenting, Redbook.com, Foxnews.com, Crosswalk.com, YouVersion.com, and is a monthly columnist for HomeLife Magazine. Her passion is to help women live their priorities as they reflect the gospel to a watching world. Karen is married to her college sweetheart, Todd, and is the mother of six children: three biological and three in-laws by marriage—although she forgets which ones are which. She enjoys collecting vintage Pyrex kitchenware, cheering for the Detroit Tigers, and spending her days feeding the many people who gather around her mid-century dining table to process life and enjoy her county fair blue-ribbon winning cooking.

Reviews

[Mercedes Cordero · Rating 4 out of 5]

I didn't have high expectations when I first began reading this book. The authors sometimes try too hard to be funny and witty. Some of the motherhood myths were not myths for me at all. I thought I wasn't going to be able to relate. But I was wrong. It took me a while to get there, but I did right when I got to chapter 7. Yep, it got me good. Up until that chapter I was going to recommend this book to women thinking about becoming moms, to those who are pregnant and the ones who are just starting now. But Hoodwinked was written with everyone and almost every motherhood problem in mind. The advice given is biblically sound, based strongly on Scripture, always taking us back to God, His mercy, His grace, His plan and purpose for us.

The authors did a great job focusing on what really matters (our relationship with God) and redirecting the readers' attention to our need for God's wisdom and strength when raising our children. Also, exaggerated wittiness aside, the book is written so that you feel as if you were among friends, wise, caring friends. A great book to read before having children or if you're raising your kids right now.

We always have doubts, nagging little voices telling us we don't know what we're doing, or that we are doing it wrong. And it's a good thing, too, because it means we care, it means we want to do our best. But my big take away with this book was this: I am not perfect and I cannot do it all. If that were the case, I wouldn't need God and my son wouldn't need God. Through my imperfections, I pray that my son can see God's grace, mercy, and providence. That gives me peace in this motherhood journey.

[Jillian Gilbey · Rating 3 out of 5]

I only read this book because it was gifted to me by a dear friend. There are some golden nuggets in here, but this is not likely to be a book I pick up again.

First, it reads like a blog that was transitioned into a book. The language is very casual, almost like talking with your friend in a normal conversation. Perhaps that is a plus for some, but to me it made the authors appear less informed on the topic. I think the goal was to be authentic and relatable. It just fell short for me there.

Second, I have some theology concerns. For instance, the authors made this assertion, “You my friend are the artist, who with God’s help, is patiently and persistently shaping a new creation.” (pg. 109). I truly think the author has this backwards. God is the artist and we are merely a tool that He uses to shape our children into a new creation. This idea gives far too much credit to us as parents, stealing the glory from God and the work of the Holy Spirit. I simply can’t agree with her point on this.

Third, I felt there was a disconnect between the real life stories they told and the point they were trying to make. It almost felt like they were trying to force a story into a point where it didn’t fit.

Ultimately, I would say this is a book to skim. Find the golden nuggets and learn from them because they are there. There is value in some of what these ladies are saying. However, read it with caution and measure everything that is said against the Word of God.

[Janka H. · Rating 3 out of 5]

I like the concept - to knock off some myths that make moms suffer/go into hiding. But unfortunately I am missing some depth here. Some of the myths does not seem like a true problem to me or they were proven wrong quite the time ago. And there is more topics related to the motherhood - like the marital relations, the wider families, financial issues, isolation, mental health issues and so on.
Also these days it is no secret that the motherhood is hard - so many moms share their experience and honest views on various platforms like blogs etc., and also their own solutions. The debate is very much going on these days!
So I would like for this book to go deeper, to confront the reality more.
But I like the orientation to God, this is always an answer (albeit not an easy one! Some of the hardest fights were fought on knees).

[AM · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of the things I really liked about this book was they didn't over generalize. Too many books about marriage and motherhood make assumptions, and this one didn't. This book regularly applied the thoughts, "If you have a husband," or "if you've adopted." In that way I felt it was a book for every mom, no matter your circumstances.

[Lexi Zuo · Rating 5 out of 5]

I LOVE Karen Ehman. She is so down to earth, but always shares practical wisdom. This book was no exception. Just what I needed in this season of motherhood with little. I particularly enjoyed chapter 3 about the "right way in motherhood". Her cautions to not add to scripture on what it means to mother the right way, was very convicting. Highly recommend!

[Alyssa (alyssathebookdragon) · Rating 3 out of 5]

I liked the concept of this book and it was nice to remind myself to not beat myself up so much with being a mother. Nobody is perfect. A lot, of not all, mothers have the same concerns and worries. The authors jumped around a lot, and it didn’t really dive deep into scripture like I was expecting too. I did like it, but I don’t know if I would recommend it. 🤷🏻‍♀️

[Lensey · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a great book! Now granted there are some parts I skimmed over, but there are some parts that my heart NEEDED to hear. I’ll be sharing this one with my mom friends! It’s an awesome resource no matter how old your kids are, and it would also make a great gift for moms-to-be. The resources in the back are an added bonus!

[Aimee W. · Rating 4 out of 5]

I wish I could give it a 3.8–it’s better than 3 stars but not actually a 4 Star for me. (I rarely give books 5 stars unless I LOVE them). Overall, I liked what they said and I think moms of younger children would especially benefit from reading this.

[Sandra · Rating 3 out of 5]

Good info, but after reading various books on the same subject (parenthood), this just didn't have much depth. It was well over half way through the book that I was able to get some "take aways". This would've been a great read as a new first time mom. I read it alone and not with a group, so I imagine that having a discussion while going through the book would've been more valuable.

[Kelly · Rating 2 out of 5]

I wish I had known going into this that this book is from a Christian perspective. I don't have a problem with that but I found it very heavy handed and would have viewed it differently before reading with that information. The narrator was also not my personal preference.

[Christy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Fun and encouraging, there’s something in this book for every mom. I especially appreciated the resources in the appendix- yearly inventory for moms, weekly prayer schedule, Bible verses, etc. Great book for a baby shower, but also should re-read by the time kids are teenagers.

[Sunny Pullen · Rating 5 out of 5]

I wish that this book had been in publication back in 2002 - when I became a mom. It is still a helpful and encouraging read for moms of older children as well. The last chapter was the biggest encouragement to me "Myth #10: My Child's Bad Choice Means I'm a Bad Mom".

[Cherish · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great book. Definitely made me rethink how I view different parenting styles.

[Tara · Rating 5 out of 5]

Moms can be encouraged by this book - I know I was!

[Bethany · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of the best and most helpful books I've read on motherhood!

[Dominique Egbers · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very practical and uplifting. Definitely recommend to any mom.

[Christal Byma · Rating 3 out of 5]

Practical information for moms of young children. I did like the bonus prayer features in the back of the book.

[MrsMJ · Rating 3 out of 5]

Good points. Applicable information. Realistic examples.

[Melody Slagter · Rating 4 out of 5]

The bonus material at the end is helpful for practical application of the truths stored in the book!

[Cheesepuff · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fantastic books for discouraged moms. I was so encouraged by the stories and just knowing I was not alone and some of my struggles in motherhood. Will refer to my clients and friends.

[Michele · Rating 4 out of 5]

Enjoyed it more than i expected

[Sara Haynes · Rating 2 out of 5]

Book was OK. More for expecting or new moms.

[Laura · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this book right after my first son was born and with the way Christian mom groups can be these days, it was a wake up call that I didn't want to be one of those judgemental moms who clings more to the decisions made about her family than her Savior. As believers, we can all be reminded what our true purpose is when raising kids. Things like breastfeeding vs. formula, stay at home vs working, and any other mom camp you can think of will try to separate us from desperate community with other moms. This book helped remind me, in practical ways, that I cannot let that be my identity as a follower of Jesus.

[Amy · Rating 5 out of 5]

The myths of motherhood... how many of us as moms struggle with the ideal image of motherhood? What actually depicts the perfect mom? Do we trust the TV shows, social media, a peek into our friends lives, or that Proverbs 31 woman in Scripture? How can we know if we are doing this thing right, or failing miserably? Where is the line between myth and reality?

Karen and Ruth have co-written this book to help enlighten us. At least, those of us who are willing to admit, in spite of the outward image we portray, we really don't have a clue, much less have it all together. The first key is to pursue a relationship with Jesus, and then to follow up by discerning the lies of our enemy the devil. As long as he keeps us beat down and discouraged on this motherhood journey, we will fail, but we don't have to.

The author's have shared ten myths. Some myths that hit home for me were:

Mothering comes naturally,
I am "just" a mom
Motherhood is all consuming and all fulfilling
Everything depends on me
I have to do it all right or my child will turn out wrong
Motherhood is a rat race
I believe I have struggled a little with all that these myths. I always wanted to be a mom, and God created us for motherhood so it would seem women would have a natural bent. In reality, motherhood is hard work, and it is necessary to train ourselves for the task, and cut ourselves some slack. Have you ever felt like being "just" a mom isn't enough? Sometimes others seem to imply that. I was also impacted by the chapter Motherhood is a Rat Race. It especially focused on living with purpose. Recognizing the value of our time and the short amount of time we really have to impact our children's lives. Evaluating our priorities and setting goals is very important. There is a special section in the back of the book that has a yearly evaluation and questions to help us take inventory of our lives. The book also includes lots of other valuable information to help you in this mothering game. Motherhood is hard work, but doesn't have to be faced alone.

I could go on and on with all the valuable information in this book, but I will spare you my words and I am sure you will enjoy it much more when you read it for yourself. This book would be an asset to any home and any mother would be blessed to have one. I plan on keeping mine around for a while.

I was blessed with this book by Zondervan and iconmediagroup in exchange for my honest review.

[Julie D. · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book has opened my eyes to things I believed about motherhood and my role in it! I didn't realize I believed I had to be so perfect as a mom, but I realized in reading this book, that I did.

I can remember when my children were younger and they would do something that wasn't a good choice and I looked at it as a reflection of my parenting! It was horrifying if they did something like have a tantrum or didn't behave properly in a social setting because I just knew that others knew what a bad mom I was! I know a lot of this belief came from my own mother who felt the same way.

I really liked how the authors broke this book into ten common myths because it made it easier to read and I also realized that I could relate to them all! I'm sure if you're a mom, you'll find you can relate to a lot of them, too.

We don't have to mother like others do or make the same choices our friends or family member do. This book gives us permission to be the mom we want to be and we don't have to be perfect! Hallelujah! We also can enjoy motherhood because it's one of the greatest jobs ever!

The only bad thing I have to say about this book is that I wish it would have been around 20 years ago when I was first mothering my children!! It would have saved me a lot of angst and given me permission to just enjoy my children without the pressures of being "super mom". However, even though my children are grown, I still found so much to pull from this book to help me be more confident in my mothering now.

I really love this book and I give it 5 out of 5 stars! If you're a mom, please get this book now!

[Kenzie · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this book as a part of the launch team prior to the release. I felt like a fraud reading the entire time, because only now am I pregnant with my first, and not actually a mom yet. That being said, I am thankful for the chance to read the book and learned more than I thought that I would, since I have no prior experience with mothering. I have enjoyed Karen Ehman's books before; her writing is easy for me to engage with, but this was my first time reading Ruth Schwenk, and she was a little too sunny for my tastes. I found myself reading one of her chapters and thinking, in disbelief, that her life was really the way she described it. I look forward to putting this book on a shelf and finding it again in a year or two, when I have a kid running around and rereading it with a new perspective, it'll be a good reminder of those myths that I didn't think had anything to do with me.

[Sarah Wiley · Rating 5 out of 5]

I think a part of me actually believed that some of these myths I had already figured out. I though this would be a good read but I didn't realize how much it would really speak to where I was as a mom. There was a great deal of underlining, starring, and circling for me in this book! None of us is "perfect" and many times we can be hoodwinked before we even realize it. The messages in this book are not just for moms starting out, although I do think I will be using it as a gift for newbies often, but also for the mom who, like me, thought she already new most of the myths of motherhood. We all have that much needed reminder to knock it off when it comes to believing the myths of motherhood. This is that reminder I needed!

[Angie Tolpin · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book and study is fantastic! The topic is near and dear to my heart as a woman, wife, and mom. The topics covered are very complimentary to my first online bible study "Redeeming the Division: The Quiet Fight Between Women."
Which you can find out more about here: http://quiet fight.angietolpin.com/

Hoodwinked focuses on the issues that mothers typically face when being in competition with one another and exposing the lies women believe with regard to how they should perform as a mom.

So good.

[Kristen Gebbia · Rating 5 out of 5]

My favorite parenting book ever! Karen and Ruth are both very honest and personable. You'll feel like you're sitting down over a cup of coffee to have a great chat with two moms. You'll laugh, maybe cry, and definitely be convicted in a good way over the motherhood myths you've been believing. But not only do the authors identify the myths, they also show you how to replace those lies with Gods truth. I borrowed this book from the library, but I'm going to buy my own copy now because this is a book I know I'll be referencing many times over the next several years.

[Joann Rodriguez · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the best book I have ever read for moms. So full of encouragement, wisdom and love for moms. Doesn't matter if you are a work at home, work outside the home or a stay at home mom this book is for you. God has used this book to open my eyes and bless me and hopefully the wisdom I gained from reading this book will be used to bless other moms around me. I love this book.