This 'book' was laughably bad, and excruciatingly descriptive. Especially the sex scenes. They were so badly written, well, some of it was actually a little disgusting, like
The swell of my desire matched his and I coated him with my own thick juices, only spurring him on more.
Spare me these details, please.
Okay, so a while back, my boyfriend and I had this conversation about why being "physically attractive" is so important, seeing as neither of us is, conventionally, and going by that aspect alone, that we were both doomed to die alone. Thing is, oh NA writers of the world, being physically attractive doesn't matter. The intelligence, integrity, and character of the person does. Ted Bundy was considered conventionally attractive, just so you know. So was Jeffrey Dahmer. Bundy killed more than thirty women, and Dahmer killed seventeen men. Still find them attractive? But I digress. My point is, stop harping on about how attractive your characters are! Jeez! "Angelic face", "broad shoulder and chest", "deep blue eyes", "delicious green eyes"... mention it once, and it's okay, mention it a hundred times, and face my wrath forever. Why is it so motherfucking important that they be so goddamned attractive? Why? Why? Why? He's an ex-con, for godssake! I mean, yeah, he was framed or something, but if I had an ex who'd spent close to fifteen years in prison, I wouldn't surrender my body and soul to him within the first three days that he got exonerated! Why, you ask? Because that's what sensible people do.
If I have to hear the words 'brother', 'cock', and 'claim' again, so help me god! Like I got the point, your biker club is like family, you think with your penis, and you're a misogynistic douchebag who thinks he owns his women. Do not keep emphasising it on every page, dammit! And the sex scenes, oh, you wanna know about the sex scenes?
He reared up once, then plundered me with his cock.
Tell me you didn't burst out laughing at this? If you didn't, it's no problem. There's plenty more where that
came
from.
The rational part of my brain realized maybe we should have used protection. But oh, I didn’t want to. I wanted to feel every drop of Dex’s desire. And I was covered.
I just...well, I had so many thoughts about this. Starting with, how in the name of flipping bollocks can you not have used protection?! Also, that is too descriptive to come across as sexy, or even not gross.
He spurted deep and hot inside me and somehow, I found a way to spread myself even wider to take it all in. I wanted it. All of it. I wanted him like this forever, it seemed. I would have let him do almost anything to me.
I mean, how does one get so descriptive during sex? I need to learn this from these authors! Also, Dex is capable of having a go at it mere seconds after having ejaculated. And I mean literally seconds! Ummm, the human body does
not
work like that, especially if you're forty. That's biology for you.
I could go on, but there's so much more to talk about. Like how Dex thinks he owns Ava and that she shouldn't have been allowed to make her own decisions
in his absence
. And, I mean, it's not like the girl decided to shoot heroin, she enlisted in the army, because, you know, that's what people do! But no, the ex-con, who disappeared from her life because he got arrested when he flew into a testosterone-fuelled rage thinks it's okay to come back into Ava's life and dictate what she should or should not have done some ten years ago. Not only that, he yells at his "brother" Sly for not stopping her! I mean, you asshole, it was her decision! Thankfully, Sly's not as much as a douche, so he responds with a refreshingly sensible line:
“...And what she did mattered. It wasn’t for me to take that away from her. And it’s not for you either. If you don’t see that, you probably don’t even deserve her.”
Dex still likes strutting about the place like he owns Ava's ass, though. Because,
even though I’d given up my claim on her long ago,
she was still his.
This girl was different and I meant to make her mine.
What is that even supposed to mean? Dear god, can someone tell me what it means to make someone 'yours'?
I trained her body for mine all those years ago and it seemed we hadn’t lost a step.
Umm? Excuse me? What?
She may have had doubts but I didn’t. Ava was mine. I would give her space, but she belonged with me.
Again with the 'belonging', man?
Her body belonged to me now and forever.
I think I should just stop questioning this.
Alright, so Ava, though was infinitesimally more likable than Dex, she was, well, she was kind of daft. She usually says things like "I usually don't do action X, but person Y has Z superpower, so they can convince me to do X". Like how she never has sex in the backseat of a car, but because she and Charlie were horny, they had sex in the backseat of a car. Or like how she usually didn't answer questions, but Joleen had the interrogation powers of a CIA agent, so she answered her questions. You get my drift. It's no wonder that Dex thinks he can order her about, she gives in too easily. She's lived most of her adult life under the impression that she belongs to a man who probably had no chance of getting out of prison. She thinks such gems as
my body’s need to be claimed by him almost scared me.
And
He could make me a slave to it if I let him. And oh, I wanted to let him.
And my favourite,
The club still thought of me as Dex’s woman and so did he.
He’d claimed me all those years ago. My body was sure, even if my head spun with doubt.
All this claiming and belonging is making my head spin.
Ava also considers herself competent to give others advice on their love and sex lives even though her own is in a complete shambles. The point where it was absolutely cemented in my head that she was stupid was when this happened:
“That makes me feel so old.” “How do you think it makes me feel?” “Forty isn’t old, Dex. But she’s good?”
I mean, she's a good 6 years younger to him, and
she
can feel old, but he at forty cannot? Wut?
Oh, also, there's this character, Dr. Brancheau, who's mentioned about 5 times in the book, and his first name which has been mentioned twice, is different each time. Dear god, what were your editors doing, dear lady?
But tell you what, I had a ball making snarky Kindle notes on this one, so it wasn't all for nothing!