I take no issue with the translation- rather, it was the literary French, with its flowery sentences and circling of the real issue, that threw obstacles in my path. However, I struggled through the prose, not my cup of tea, for the insights hidden below, and I am glad I did.
Thematically, the short autobiographical essays read as a coherent piece, even though they were collected from across decades of work. The puzzle posed by Sebbar is clear: growing up as she did completely separated from Arab Algerians by her father's choice not to raise his children as arabophone and separated from pied noir society by the artificial bubble of her life in her parents' idealized republican bubble, Sebbar never inherited a stable, comprehensive identity. I thought the afterword illuminated this nicely with the comparison to Said and his writing on exile. The answers Sebbar finds in asking questions about her parents' choices are less clear.
She reframes her father's choice not to pass along Arabic or an Algerian cultural reference. Rather than internalized racism, this choice becomes a demonstration of anti-colonial agency, a self- and society-protective way of denying the colonizer access to the inner self, even if the colonizer is in this case his own wife and daughters. Fascinating- but Sebbar asserts this is her conclusion without ever really explaining how and why she got there. She is less forgiving with her mother, whose decision not to learn Arabic or engage meaningfully with Arab or Berber Algerian culture is almost not touched by Sebbar at all, merely observed at a distance as though painful.
In reframing her novels' heroines as the always-inaccessible Arab mother she never had, Sebbar is making a claim on their identity while acknowledging she will always stand apart. It works, largely thanks to her sensitivity and fatalistic acceptance that her Arab heritage will never be a simple frame of self-reference because it was never a personally-lived experience.