What do you think?
Rate this book
Women and Girls with Autism Spectrum Disorder
The difference that being female makes to the diagnosis, life and experiences of a person with an Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) has largely gone unresearched and unreported until recently. In this book Sarah Hendrickx has collected both academic research and personal stories about girls and women on the autism spectrum to present a picture of their feelings, thoughts and experiences at each stage of their lives.
Outlining how autism presents differently and can hide itself in females and what the likely impact will be for them throughout their lifespan, the book looks at how females with ASD experience diagnosis, childhood, education, adolescence, friendships, sexuality, employment, pregnancy and parenting, and aging. It will provide invaluable guidance for the professionals who support these girls and women and it will offer women with autism a guiding light in interpreting and understanding their own life experiences through the experiences of others.
Outlining how autism presents differently and can hide itself in females and what the likely impact will be for them throughout their lifespan, the book looks at how females with ASD experience diagnosis, childhood, education, adolescence, friendships, sexuality, employment, pregnancy and parenting, and aging. It will provide invaluable guidance for the professionals who support these girls and women and it will offer women with autism a guiding light in interpreting and understanding their own life experiences through the experiences of others.
248 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2015
492 people are currently reading
4291 people want to read
About the author
Sarah Hendrickx
11 books116 followersSarah Hendrickx is an autistic author, speaker and freelance writer. She is author of 8 published books on a variety of subjects - autism, cookery and overseas living. Sarah also writes monthly columns on overseas living for Standard Issue magazine and Mediterranean Gardening and Outdoor Living magazines as well as articles for web and print.
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 30 of 238 reviews
September 16, 2021
This book was really disappointing. Even though it aims to represent women with autism through all phases of life, it’s basically the female version of the Sheldon Cooper autism stereotype. Most of the women included are described as “masculine” (because they don’t subscribe to patriarchal beauty standards and apparently masculinity is the default), self absorbed, cold, lacking empathy, etc. I get that that’s what the women she interviewed were like and that’s fine, I just wish she’d have made more of an effort to find more diverse women to talk to. The gender and sexuality chapter is really bad. She dedicates pages and pages to transgender women (who were probably diagnosed when they were children), but the section on sexuality literally includes one trans lesbian, one cis lesbian, one lesbian who thinks she wouldn’t have to be a lesbian if she had better social skills (???) and one straight woman who is disgusted by lesbians and thinks that a family needs to be made up of a mother and a father... I don’t know why the author thought it was necessary to include blatant homophobia. Overall it’s just pretty old fashioned.
February 4, 2022
As a woman on the spectrum, I read this book going "woah this is me" over and over. I love the multitude of quotes from autistic women throughout. Every page I was realizing new things about myself.
The only thing I didn't love was the chapter on gender and sexuality. The language, especially around trans experiences, is woefully out of date. I understand that the author is cis and trying to include queer experiences, but just know going in that the language isn't great. That said, it also seems like she's drawing a lot of her language from the words of actual queer people.
I definitely recommend this book to anyone who is or knows a woman with autism. It's really helpful on understanding how various behaviors and needs are connected!
The only thing I didn't love was the chapter on gender and sexuality. The language, especially around trans experiences, is woefully out of date. I understand that the author is cis and trying to include queer experiences, but just know going in that the language isn't great. That said, it also seems like she's drawing a lot of her language from the words of actual queer people.
I definitely recommend this book to anyone who is or knows a woman with autism. It's really helpful on understanding how various behaviors and needs are connected!
May 20, 2015
Reading this book many things resonated with our experiences. The author details how ASD presents differently in girls and that the average age for diagnosis was 8. That they are happy with a group of imaginary friends rather than real life people- which is one of the things I find hardest to accept for her.
So many things that our daughter experiences were discussed in this book and I found it fascinating.
Clothing- ‘universally, for those responding there was a strong preference for clothing that was comfortable, soft, stretchy, loose and smooth’. This explains why she only likes elasticated waists and not a buttoned waistband.
Sleep is often a problem- our daughter thinks it is a waste of time and likes to see both ends of the night.
Seeking adult intervention rather than with peers. She has always preferred to have a familiar adult with her than a friend the same age.
I would highly recommend this book for families with a young daughter on the ASD spectrum.
So many things that our daughter experiences were discussed in this book and I found it fascinating.
Clothing- ‘universally, for those responding there was a strong preference for clothing that was comfortable, soft, stretchy, loose and smooth’. This explains why she only likes elasticated waists and not a buttoned waistband.
Sleep is often a problem- our daughter thinks it is a waste of time and likes to see both ends of the night.
Seeking adult intervention rather than with peers. She has always preferred to have a familiar adult with her than a friend the same age.
I would highly recommend this book for families with a young daughter on the ASD spectrum.
April 14, 2022
an okay starting point but at the same time the sample size for the author’s personal research seemed awfully small, and certain observations heavily biased. at times it also felt a bit cringe and like i was reading a facebook post of a middle aged cis karen (one dimensional take on women in general, showcasing neurotypical women as only interested in gossip, makeup and fashion, and autistic girls being in direct opposition to these particular topics which just doesn’t sit right with me and feels more personal than universal).
May 15, 2024
This was certainly better than a lot of other books I've read on autism, but I also didn't love it. Even though a lot of quotes by autistic women are included I felt like they didn't really represent a large part of the spectrum. I did relate to some things some of the women mentioned, but there were also many things I did not relate to at all. That wouldn't have been much of an issue -as all autistic women are different- had the author not made generalisations about all autistic women based on these quotes/her personal experiences. The chapter on gender and sexuality is also pretty bad and the Dutch translation unfortunately wasn't that great either. Still, for professionals who lack knowledge about autistic women this could be an informative read.
August 18, 2020
A fantastic overview on autism with many contributions made by girls and women with ASD.
July 18, 2025
Wspaniała książka, zniuansowana, bliska życiu, pokazująca ogromną różnorodność neuroróżnorodności. Czytałam z wielką przyjemnością.
May 3, 2022
Enjoyability: 2
Usefulness: 4
I am relatively educated on the matter and the book is a bit boring and repetitive for me, the chapters are neither terribly cohesive nor insightful, and mostly consist of a tepid overview of the topic and lots of very brief testimonies. On one hand, it’s good to give so much space to these women’s experience, on the other it doesn’t really cut it for people who are looking for a more “professional” take.
Some of the opinions of the author piss me off because she comes across like an older pick-me girl, especially towards the end. I am not a mother myself and as much as I understand there is a generational gap between the author and me, yet I don’t have the highest opinion of women who make the conscious (as much as driven by societal expectations) choice to become mothers, but are so critical of motherhood and rant about how exhausted by it and unsuited for it they are, because I’m afraid with all probability, their children can read too.
Nevertheless, I think this is a greatly useful book to lend to your loved ones who want to make the effort to understand where you are coming from and how you go about your life as an autistic woman. I myself will surely do so.
Usefulness: 4
I am relatively educated on the matter and the book is a bit boring and repetitive for me, the chapters are neither terribly cohesive nor insightful, and mostly consist of a tepid overview of the topic and lots of very brief testimonies. On one hand, it’s good to give so much space to these women’s experience, on the other it doesn’t really cut it for people who are looking for a more “professional” take.
Some of the opinions of the author piss me off because she comes across like an older pick-me girl, especially towards the end. I am not a mother myself and as much as I understand there is a generational gap between the author and me, yet I don’t have the highest opinion of women who make the conscious (as much as driven by societal expectations) choice to become mothers, but are so critical of motherhood and rant about how exhausted by it and unsuited for it they are, because I’m afraid with all probability, their children can read too.
Nevertheless, I think this is a greatly useful book to lend to your loved ones who want to make the effort to understand where you are coming from and how you go about your life as an autistic woman. I myself will surely do so.
March 2, 2023
Er staan geweldige zinnen in dit boek. Zoals alleen al het slot, waarin de auteur vrouwen met autisme een hart onder de riem probeert te steken:
"Julie zijn volmaakt zoals je bent. Ja, jullie zijn een beetje raar, maar dat is prima. Jullie voelen je misschien niet zo erg een ‘vrouw’, maar dat is ook oké...En jullie hebben helemaal gelijk als het gaat om tasjes. Je hebt er maar één nodig, en dat is een rugzak."
Dat van die tasjes is echt geweldig! Het vat eigenlijk alles samen: de afkeer van opsmuk en tierlantijnen, zoals tasjes, sjaaltjes, make-up, hakken, panty's en ga zo door. Ik loop zelf eeuwig met mijn rugzak rond en die zin is daarmee dus ook een ontmaskering. Oeps, ja ik ben zo.
En zo was dit hele boek eigenlijk een feest van herkenning: al mijn rare gewoontes en 'kwaaltjes', die ik niet zal specificeren, kwamen erin voor. En dat geeft ook een gevoel van NIET 'alleen zijn', wat veel autistische vrouwen - die veelal pas laat in hun leven gediagnosticeerd worden - vaak wel heel lang voelen. Alleen met hun raarheden en hun beperkingen, die zorgen dat ze niet zo soepel kunnen functioneren als van hen verwacht wordt.
"Ik heb het gevoel dat ik mijn leven al vele keren opnieuw begonnen ben."
Ook zo'n herkenbare zin uit het boek, dat een mix is van gedachten over andere onderzoeken naar vrouwen met autisme en over de gesprekken die de auteur zelf voerde met autistische vrouwen van verschillende leeftijden. In het boek staan ook heel recente onderzoeken, bijvoorbeeld over het testosterongehalte van vrouwen met autisme, waardoor ze zich echt wezenlijk anders voelen dan andere vrouwen en zich vaak meer op hun gemak voelen bij jongens en mannen: een meer directe vorm van communicatie, andere gespreksonderwerpen en minder focus op mode, make-up en dat soort zaken. En zelfs de genderdysforie die veel vrouwen met autisme voelen, het gevoel niet helemaal te passen in het hokje van man of vrouw, blijkt in zekere zin een symptoom van hun autisme te zijn. Dat kan voelen als een opluchting, of er nu wel of niet uiteindelijk naar gehandeld wordt.
Andere dingen die aan de orde komen zijn relaties met vrienden, partners en collega's op het werk. Er staan mooie conclusies in, die ook voor mij heel geldend voelen, zoals dat vrouwen met ASS een weg naar hun eigen versie van succes moeten vinden, die ze pas later in hun leven bereiken dan veel neurotypische leeftijdsgenoten. Een aantal vrouwen gaf aan een baan onder hun niveau uit te voeren, om energie over te houden voor randzaken.
Intellectueel bekwamere en zelfbewustere personen leren al van jongs af aan wat er vereist is en wat onacceptabel wordt gevonden in het leven. Typerende diagnostische kenmerken van ASS kunnen daardoor verborgen blijven, schrijft Hendrickx. Maar dit gaat vaak wel ten koste van energie en bijna alle autistische vrouwen ervaren op verschillende punten in hun leven daarom momenten van langer- of korterdurende uitputting. Het leven kan voelen als een lang gevecht tegen allerlei stressgerelateerde klachten en daarbij dan nog het moeten blijven functioneren in de wereld, ook sociaal en financieel.
Er staan ook positieve dingen in het boek (uiteraard), zoals dat vrouwen met autisme boven de 40 vaak een gelukkigere fase krijgen in hun leven, omdat ze aanvaarden wie ze zijn en wat er wel en niet mogelijk is, ze zich hiervoor niet meer schamen, opkomen voor wat ze nodig hebben, de juiste medicatie vinden en weten wat ze moeten doen om zich rustig en blij te voelen. En ook tijd hiervoor reserveren. De druk is eraf en je hoeft niet meer te doen alsof je iemand bent die je niet bent. Dat scheelt een hoop energie! Om niet meer het onmogelijke van jezelf te (hoeven) vragen. En dankzij hun late diagnose voelen deze vrouwen eindelijk wie ze zijn en dat ze ergens bij horen, na hun hele leven het gevoel gehad te hebben dat ze nergens bij hoorden. Alleen dat al kan nieuwe energie geven!
"Julie zijn volmaakt zoals je bent. Ja, jullie zijn een beetje raar, maar dat is prima. Jullie voelen je misschien niet zo erg een ‘vrouw’, maar dat is ook oké...En jullie hebben helemaal gelijk als het gaat om tasjes. Je hebt er maar één nodig, en dat is een rugzak."
Dat van die tasjes is echt geweldig! Het vat eigenlijk alles samen: de afkeer van opsmuk en tierlantijnen, zoals tasjes, sjaaltjes, make-up, hakken, panty's en ga zo door. Ik loop zelf eeuwig met mijn rugzak rond en die zin is daarmee dus ook een ontmaskering. Oeps, ja ik ben zo.
En zo was dit hele boek eigenlijk een feest van herkenning: al mijn rare gewoontes en 'kwaaltjes', die ik niet zal specificeren, kwamen erin voor. En dat geeft ook een gevoel van NIET 'alleen zijn', wat veel autistische vrouwen - die veelal pas laat in hun leven gediagnosticeerd worden - vaak wel heel lang voelen. Alleen met hun raarheden en hun beperkingen, die zorgen dat ze niet zo soepel kunnen functioneren als van hen verwacht wordt.
"Ik heb het gevoel dat ik mijn leven al vele keren opnieuw begonnen ben."
Ook zo'n herkenbare zin uit het boek, dat een mix is van gedachten over andere onderzoeken naar vrouwen met autisme en over de gesprekken die de auteur zelf voerde met autistische vrouwen van verschillende leeftijden. In het boek staan ook heel recente onderzoeken, bijvoorbeeld over het testosterongehalte van vrouwen met autisme, waardoor ze zich echt wezenlijk anders voelen dan andere vrouwen en zich vaak meer op hun gemak voelen bij jongens en mannen: een meer directe vorm van communicatie, andere gespreksonderwerpen en minder focus op mode, make-up en dat soort zaken. En zelfs de genderdysforie die veel vrouwen met autisme voelen, het gevoel niet helemaal te passen in het hokje van man of vrouw, blijkt in zekere zin een symptoom van hun autisme te zijn. Dat kan voelen als een opluchting, of er nu wel of niet uiteindelijk naar gehandeld wordt.
Andere dingen die aan de orde komen zijn relaties met vrienden, partners en collega's op het werk. Er staan mooie conclusies in, die ook voor mij heel geldend voelen, zoals dat vrouwen met ASS een weg naar hun eigen versie van succes moeten vinden, die ze pas later in hun leven bereiken dan veel neurotypische leeftijdsgenoten. Een aantal vrouwen gaf aan een baan onder hun niveau uit te voeren, om energie over te houden voor randzaken.
Intellectueel bekwamere en zelfbewustere personen leren al van jongs af aan wat er vereist is en wat onacceptabel wordt gevonden in het leven. Typerende diagnostische kenmerken van ASS kunnen daardoor verborgen blijven, schrijft Hendrickx. Maar dit gaat vaak wel ten koste van energie en bijna alle autistische vrouwen ervaren op verschillende punten in hun leven daarom momenten van langer- of korterdurende uitputting. Het leven kan voelen als een lang gevecht tegen allerlei stressgerelateerde klachten en daarbij dan nog het moeten blijven functioneren in de wereld, ook sociaal en financieel.
Er staan ook positieve dingen in het boek (uiteraard), zoals dat vrouwen met autisme boven de 40 vaak een gelukkigere fase krijgen in hun leven, omdat ze aanvaarden wie ze zijn en wat er wel en niet mogelijk is, ze zich hiervoor niet meer schamen, opkomen voor wat ze nodig hebben, de juiste medicatie vinden en weten wat ze moeten doen om zich rustig en blij te voelen. En ook tijd hiervoor reserveren. De druk is eraf en je hoeft niet meer te doen alsof je iemand bent die je niet bent. Dat scheelt een hoop energie! Om niet meer het onmogelijke van jezelf te (hoeven) vragen. En dankzij hun late diagnose voelen deze vrouwen eindelijk wie ze zijn en dat ze ergens bij horen, na hun hele leven het gevoel gehad te hebben dat ze nergens bij hoorden. Alleen dat al kan nieuwe energie geven!
January 30, 2019
Super livre sur l'autisme chez les femmes, je crois que je l'ai trouvé encore plus complet que le Simone qui était pourtant ma bible sur la question jusque là. Vraiment indispensable pour toute personne concernée/se questionnant sur le sujet.
July 12, 2023
Exactly what I was looking for! Excellent! And confirms to me that research is sorely lacking about adult women on the spectrum.
ALL THE QUOTES
I realised how incredibly logical, routine-orientated and systematic I am, but with no interest in technical things like he has. My fascination is people and how they operate (most typically articulated by a frown and 'Why do they do that?'). I realised that I struggle enormously socially, yet do social events anyway at great mental cost to myself, because I am supposed to, whereas he will just say 'no' and avoid any discomfort. comparing herself prior to her autism diagnosis with her autistic husband
this study also found minimal overlap between the neuro-anatomical features of males and females with autism, suggesting that males and females with autism may actually be neurally and cognitively distinct.
Boys showed more repetitive, restricted behaviours than girls, and girls showed more communication deficits, sleep problems and anxiety.
It is suggested that women with autism are able to apply the systematic nature of their autistic brain (Baron-Cohen 2002) to the study and replication of people skills in order to imitate and participate socially. However, the mechanical (rather than intuitive) basis of these strategies means that at times of stress, in unexpected situations or after a period of time, it may be impossible for them to be maintained (Lai et al. 2011).
they present a very capable front that cannot be maintained beyond certain limits, after which it collapses (and sometimes so does she). What has not yet been measured is the toll that this socially typical facade takes on the individual over a period of time.
What some people find frustrating, how-ever, is that frequently specialist knowledge stops at the point of diagnosis (Eaton 2012), leaving individuals and families without significant follow-up support or expertise from then onwards.
Parents whose daughters receive a diagnosis of autism later in life often say that they ‘just knew' something was different about their child when she was a baby, or certainly often from a very early age - well before any current formal indicators of diagnosis could possiblv be
She misses many non-verbal cues and especially struggles with facial expressions and tone of voice and will regularly ask if someone is cross/ happy with her as she isn't sure. (Parent of girl with autism)
There will usually have been some kind of non-verbal or subtle sign that other children do not want her to play, [but] she misses it and the situation escalates. (Par-ent of girl with autism)
The fight or flight response to unexpected situations and occurrences is well documented in autism...Parents can feel that their daughter 'should' be sociable, and they experience extreme guilt and sadness at her perceived isolation, whereas the child herself feels quite happy, calm and at home engaged in her own interests.
We are able to change routines if we do it slowly and give her a good explanation and a long enough presentation period
Animals in general are a popular interest as they are far easier to deal with than people for many females with autism: their intentions are clear (no hidden agendas), their nonverbal language is minimal (cats don't pull too many facial expressions), their needs are easily identified and their attachment and affection are unconditional and unchanging.
Gave my soft toys idiosyncratic or functional names - Best Ted, Fat Ted ('Fat' used in a descriptive rather than a derogatory sense). (Woman with autism) Ha my daughter did that too! Whitey cat, Blacky cat, Daddy cat(he was big) etc
Not only does reading offer a solo escape from a chaotic world, it also provides knowledge and data that may help the girl to manage that world once she has to to it.
Food can represent sensory tolerances, control, preference for sameness and predictability (and therefore avoidance of new and unknown experiences), as well as a different understanding of the social role of food. There are specific criteria and rules regarding colour, texture, type
The individual themselves may have taken great care in avoiding certain clothing or textures - the results may look 'careless' or atypical, but may be anything but.
She is incredibly sociable and seeks interaction with anyone she meets...With adults it can make her vulnerable - she wanted to cuddle the telephone engineer and the dog food man my daughter when she was 2 hopped in the lap of a homeless guy sitting on the city sidewalk. We were all horrified including the guy who immediately stuck his hands in the air so we’d know he wasn’t touching her
Playtime was very difficult. I didn't know how other kids just sort of knew what to do and who to play with. So, I just hung out by myself, wandered around the playground, sometimes standing weirdly in a group of kids, not saying much, thinking that was enough to be included and considered a part of whatever game they were playing. Mostly I just watched.
Seeking adult interaction, rather than peer interaction, from a young age appears to be a common feature of many girls on the autism spectrum...Mothers and grandparents were favourite companions, with some girls not requiring or seeking anyone in the world other than these people.
in general, these girls were quiet- unusually quiet. This quietness does not alert professionals to any potential difficulties - quiet is harmless and isn't causing any trouble.
Despite being often outwardly capable, most of the women I asked reported lifelong issues with changes to plans and routines. women with autism are more likely to internalise the anxiety and stress they feel around change, not wanting to draw attention to their inability to cope with the situation. This leads other people to believe that they are coping, when in fact they are not.
It may be that for some children with ASDthere really is no point or functional benefit in them attending a group play setting and that the distress caused outweighs any possible benefit gained. This notion is difficult for many parents to acknowledge
Among those women questioned, art and English topped the list of favourite subjects at school. These are not the typically expected 'male' ASD topics (usually involving maths and IT), which may add to the difficulty in considering an ASD diagnosis...Many were voracious readers and most happy when engrossed in a book during the school day.
Teachers are predominantly female and perhaps, given their people-focused, flexible, communication-based career choice, may be quite different in personality from their young, female charges with ASD.
One girl did not eat at lunchtime because the dining area was intolerable for her, mainly because of the noise (cutlery, scraping chairs, banging plates, incessant chatter) but also because of the smell, visual overload and social elements (where shall I sit?). This stress can be exacerbated when there is the requirement to navigate the complex female social world of working out allegiances and nonverbal signals. I found out after the fact that my daughter in middle school hid in the library instead of going to the cafeteria
even if you have a doctorate, you still need to be able to answer a phone or make the tea. She may not be able to do either of these things.
it very hard to work out where you belong when you are brilliant at things that others find hard, but useless at things that others find easy.
The majority of these women are getting through each day with an often sophisticated set of compensatory behaviours, personas and clever strategies for avoiding certain situations without anyone knowing.
As years go by, you get better and better at camouflaging and compensating for the external behavioural characteristics of autism. You make the impression of functioning normally by cognitively compensating for what you do not sense or know intuitively
I love my sense of duty, my sense of rightness and justice, and my honesty. I will change to a shop because it is WRONG to keep it if it isn't mine (woman with autism).
As an adult, people often ask if I am OK. I really don't know what my face is saying. (Woman with autism)
Jokes, sarcasm and a tendency to take things literally can cause confusion, anxiety and a general feeling of stupidity at not having 'got it'. This is not to say that women with autism do not have a sense of humour, and they may be quick-witted with their own jokes; but the jokes of others may be lost on them at times.
There is preference for routine, sameness and a dislike of change - specifically, change that is implemented by others. All of these elements encompass the same basic stressors: I don't know how to make sense of this and how to maintain control'. Controlling possessions, tasks and environments reduces stress and anxiety. Women with autism are generally not team-players and prefer to go it alone when doing tasks and projects.
Even when I look relaxed, the constant awareness that things could go wrong at any second never leaves me.
Leaving home can feel like an effort, a foray into hostile territory, and therefore some women can be in of getting 'stuck' in their place and rarely venturing out.
Interestingly, despite the number of women who described their more male gender identity, the only transgender people who responded to my requests for participants were transwomen -
male to female transgender people. I had no responses from cisgender females now living as men.
On being asked why she thought that there were more trans-people within the autism community, one transwoman replied: Maybe because autistic people aren't influenced by others and are more likely to just be themselves. That's my best guess.
MIsreading cues, naivety and taking what others say and do at face can all lead to problems, particularly for a vulnerable woman. Women with autism believe what they are told and assume that other people have good intent because they themselves do. If you cannot determine on an individual basis who is and who may be a , due to being unable to intuitively pick up the signals and read the context of the situation, you are left with two choices: trust everyone or trust no one.
It's a great ongoing project that allows me to research things, obsess, and shop online. I would say my baby is my new special interest. (New mother with autism)
Rudy Simone (2010) describes mothers with autism as 'unconventional yet conservative moms; strict, , logical, protective and intellectually stimulating'...I actually have no idea what people without children do with themselves. I'm not sure how I'd have coped with such a fluid existence.
I feel unwell most of the time; either a headache, stomach ache, feelings of anxiety or general fa-tigue. They're nothing serious, but there's always something that means I feel less than 100%. Simply existing just seems to be hard work. ( woman with autism)
I am very sensitive to various fabrics which can cause redness, tiny red dots and itching. All my clothes have to be washed in liquid, fragrance-free laundry detergent.(woman with autism)
They found that almost twice as many women with autism experienced PMS than non-autistic controls. PCOS was mentioned by a number of the women I questioned as being something that they had been diagnosed with and this does appear to be a relatively common feature for women with autism.
The option of not having to maintain variety is very appealing and I still struggle with that today. I still think the monotony feels safer than having variety because there's less information to take in and it's easy to predict.
Problems with identifying emotional responses (alexithymia) from physical sensations can form part of this difficulty as they may not actually know how they are feeling and/ or be able to articulate that into words.
I generally need some guidance, coaching or feedback to help me deal with and interpret situations as a lot of my anxiety results from my inability to process information in real time. (Woman with autism)
Work is probably the single greatest challenge for women with autism due to the long-term nature of the social relationships that are developed...Success in employment involves immersion into a neurotypical world. This can be a social step too far for some women with autism and they may end up working in jobs below their ability and/or unable to work full time,
I am new to office life and I feel with most things it starts off well but then you are expected to master everything. I am still getting lost in the building and asking questions about things others are clear on. (Woman with autism)
A woman with autism may not be able to 'keep quiet' if she feels that a situation is plain wrong. Office politics and 'sucking up' to the boss are not in her social tool box and this can cause others to dislike her socially, despite her being skilled at her job.
People appreciate my attention to detail, and I enjoy repetitive routine tasks that other people don't seem to like doing,
I was interested in knowing how these women felt they would perform best. Self-employment, part-time, working from home and working alone featured most frequently in the responses of the women questioned. There was no mention of earning large incomes or achieving a high-status career position by anyone. It appears that spending your days doing something that does not exceed your limitations is the priority for these women.
Autism is just a thing that you have, it doesn't have to define you. It's not the most interesting thing about you. Know your limits and explore as much as you can within them. Autism doesn't have to be a prison!(Woman with autism)
ALL THE QUOTES
I realised how incredibly logical, routine-orientated and systematic I am, but with no interest in technical things like he has. My fascination is people and how they operate (most typically articulated by a frown and 'Why do they do that?'). I realised that I struggle enormously socially, yet do social events anyway at great mental cost to myself, because I am supposed to, whereas he will just say 'no' and avoid any discomfort. comparing herself prior to her autism diagnosis with her autistic husband
this study also found minimal overlap between the neuro-anatomical features of males and females with autism, suggesting that males and females with autism may actually be neurally and cognitively distinct.
Boys showed more repetitive, restricted behaviours than girls, and girls showed more communication deficits, sleep problems and anxiety.
It is suggested that women with autism are able to apply the systematic nature of their autistic brain (Baron-Cohen 2002) to the study and replication of people skills in order to imitate and participate socially. However, the mechanical (rather than intuitive) basis of these strategies means that at times of stress, in unexpected situations or after a period of time, it may be impossible for them to be maintained (Lai et al. 2011).
they present a very capable front that cannot be maintained beyond certain limits, after which it collapses (and sometimes so does she). What has not yet been measured is the toll that this socially typical facade takes on the individual over a period of time.
What some people find frustrating, how-ever, is that frequently specialist knowledge stops at the point of diagnosis (Eaton 2012), leaving individuals and families without significant follow-up support or expertise from then onwards.
Parents whose daughters receive a diagnosis of autism later in life often say that they ‘just knew' something was different about their child when she was a baby, or certainly often from a very early age - well before any current formal indicators of diagnosis could possiblv be
She misses many non-verbal cues and especially struggles with facial expressions and tone of voice and will regularly ask if someone is cross/ happy with her as she isn't sure. (Parent of girl with autism)
There will usually have been some kind of non-verbal or subtle sign that other children do not want her to play, [but] she misses it and the situation escalates. (Par-ent of girl with autism)
The fight or flight response to unexpected situations and occurrences is well documented in autism...Parents can feel that their daughter 'should' be sociable, and they experience extreme guilt and sadness at her perceived isolation, whereas the child herself feels quite happy, calm and at home engaged in her own interests.
We are able to change routines if we do it slowly and give her a good explanation and a long enough presentation period
Animals in general are a popular interest as they are far easier to deal with than people for many females with autism: their intentions are clear (no hidden agendas), their nonverbal language is minimal (cats don't pull too many facial expressions), their needs are easily identified and their attachment and affection are unconditional and unchanging.
Gave my soft toys idiosyncratic or functional names - Best Ted, Fat Ted ('Fat' used in a descriptive rather than a derogatory sense). (Woman with autism) Ha my daughter did that too! Whitey cat, Blacky cat, Daddy cat(he was big) etc
Not only does reading offer a solo escape from a chaotic world, it also provides knowledge and data that may help the girl to manage that world once she has to to it.
Food can represent sensory tolerances, control, preference for sameness and predictability (and therefore avoidance of new and unknown experiences), as well as a different understanding of the social role of food. There are specific criteria and rules regarding colour, texture, type
The individual themselves may have taken great care in avoiding certain clothing or textures - the results may look 'careless' or atypical, but may be anything but.
She is incredibly sociable and seeks interaction with anyone she meets...With adults it can make her vulnerable - she wanted to cuddle the telephone engineer and the dog food man my daughter when she was 2 hopped in the lap of a homeless guy sitting on the city sidewalk. We were all horrified including the guy who immediately stuck his hands in the air so we’d know he wasn’t touching her
Playtime was very difficult. I didn't know how other kids just sort of knew what to do and who to play with. So, I just hung out by myself, wandered around the playground, sometimes standing weirdly in a group of kids, not saying much, thinking that was enough to be included and considered a part of whatever game they were playing. Mostly I just watched.
Seeking adult interaction, rather than peer interaction, from a young age appears to be a common feature of many girls on the autism spectrum...Mothers and grandparents were favourite companions, with some girls not requiring or seeking anyone in the world other than these people.
in general, these girls were quiet- unusually quiet. This quietness does not alert professionals to any potential difficulties - quiet is harmless and isn't causing any trouble.
Despite being often outwardly capable, most of the women I asked reported lifelong issues with changes to plans and routines. women with autism are more likely to internalise the anxiety and stress they feel around change, not wanting to draw attention to their inability to cope with the situation. This leads other people to believe that they are coping, when in fact they are not.
It may be that for some children with ASDthere really is no point or functional benefit in them attending a group play setting and that the distress caused outweighs any possible benefit gained. This notion is difficult for many parents to acknowledge
Among those women questioned, art and English topped the list of favourite subjects at school. These are not the typically expected 'male' ASD topics (usually involving maths and IT), which may add to the difficulty in considering an ASD diagnosis...Many were voracious readers and most happy when engrossed in a book during the school day.
Teachers are predominantly female and perhaps, given their people-focused, flexible, communication-based career choice, may be quite different in personality from their young, female charges with ASD.
One girl did not eat at lunchtime because the dining area was intolerable for her, mainly because of the noise (cutlery, scraping chairs, banging plates, incessant chatter) but also because of the smell, visual overload and social elements (where shall I sit?). This stress can be exacerbated when there is the requirement to navigate the complex female social world of working out allegiances and nonverbal signals. I found out after the fact that my daughter in middle school hid in the library instead of going to the cafeteria
even if you have a doctorate, you still need to be able to answer a phone or make the tea. She may not be able to do either of these things.
it very hard to work out where you belong when you are brilliant at things that others find hard, but useless at things that others find easy.
The majority of these women are getting through each day with an often sophisticated set of compensatory behaviours, personas and clever strategies for avoiding certain situations without anyone knowing.
As years go by, you get better and better at camouflaging and compensating for the external behavioural characteristics of autism. You make the impression of functioning normally by cognitively compensating for what you do not sense or know intuitively
I love my sense of duty, my sense of rightness and justice, and my honesty. I will change to a shop because it is WRONG to keep it if it isn't mine (woman with autism).
As an adult, people often ask if I am OK. I really don't know what my face is saying. (Woman with autism)
Jokes, sarcasm and a tendency to take things literally can cause confusion, anxiety and a general feeling of stupidity at not having 'got it'. This is not to say that women with autism do not have a sense of humour, and they may be quick-witted with their own jokes; but the jokes of others may be lost on them at times.
There is preference for routine, sameness and a dislike of change - specifically, change that is implemented by others. All of these elements encompass the same basic stressors: I don't know how to make sense of this and how to maintain control'. Controlling possessions, tasks and environments reduces stress and anxiety. Women with autism are generally not team-players and prefer to go it alone when doing tasks and projects.
Even when I look relaxed, the constant awareness that things could go wrong at any second never leaves me.
Leaving home can feel like an effort, a foray into hostile territory, and therefore some women can be in of getting 'stuck' in their place and rarely venturing out.
Interestingly, despite the number of women who described their more male gender identity, the only transgender people who responded to my requests for participants were transwomen -
male to female transgender people. I had no responses from cisgender females now living as men.
On being asked why she thought that there were more trans-people within the autism community, one transwoman replied: Maybe because autistic people aren't influenced by others and are more likely to just be themselves. That's my best guess.
MIsreading cues, naivety and taking what others say and do at face can all lead to problems, particularly for a vulnerable woman. Women with autism believe what they are told and assume that other people have good intent because they themselves do. If you cannot determine on an individual basis who is and who may be a , due to being unable to intuitively pick up the signals and read the context of the situation, you are left with two choices: trust everyone or trust no one.
It's a great ongoing project that allows me to research things, obsess, and shop online. I would say my baby is my new special interest. (New mother with autism)
Rudy Simone (2010) describes mothers with autism as 'unconventional yet conservative moms; strict, , logical, protective and intellectually stimulating'...I actually have no idea what people without children do with themselves. I'm not sure how I'd have coped with such a fluid existence.
I feel unwell most of the time; either a headache, stomach ache, feelings of anxiety or general fa-tigue. They're nothing serious, but there's always something that means I feel less than 100%. Simply existing just seems to be hard work. ( woman with autism)
I am very sensitive to various fabrics which can cause redness, tiny red dots and itching. All my clothes have to be washed in liquid, fragrance-free laundry detergent.(woman with autism)
They found that almost twice as many women with autism experienced PMS than non-autistic controls. PCOS was mentioned by a number of the women I questioned as being something that they had been diagnosed with and this does appear to be a relatively common feature for women with autism.
The option of not having to maintain variety is very appealing and I still struggle with that today. I still think the monotony feels safer than having variety because there's less information to take in and it's easy to predict.
Problems with identifying emotional responses (alexithymia) from physical sensations can form part of this difficulty as they may not actually know how they are feeling and/ or be able to articulate that into words.
I generally need some guidance, coaching or feedback to help me deal with and interpret situations as a lot of my anxiety results from my inability to process information in real time. (Woman with autism)
Work is probably the single greatest challenge for women with autism due to the long-term nature of the social relationships that are developed...Success in employment involves immersion into a neurotypical world. This can be a social step too far for some women with autism and they may end up working in jobs below their ability and/or unable to work full time,
I am new to office life and I feel with most things it starts off well but then you are expected to master everything. I am still getting lost in the building and asking questions about things others are clear on. (Woman with autism)
A woman with autism may not be able to 'keep quiet' if she feels that a situation is plain wrong. Office politics and 'sucking up' to the boss are not in her social tool box and this can cause others to dislike her socially, despite her being skilled at her job.
People appreciate my attention to detail, and I enjoy repetitive routine tasks that other people don't seem to like doing,
I was interested in knowing how these women felt they would perform best. Self-employment, part-time, working from home and working alone featured most frequently in the responses of the women questioned. There was no mention of earning large incomes or achieving a high-status career position by anyone. It appears that spending your days doing something that does not exceed your limitations is the priority for these women.
Autism is just a thing that you have, it doesn't have to define you. It's not the most interesting thing about you. Know your limits and explore as much as you can within them. Autism doesn't have to be a prison!(Woman with autism)
September 5, 2015
I have read several books on this topic now (Aspergirls, M is for Autism, Aspergers and Girls) and I think this is the best. The book covers so many scenarios faced on either a day to day basis or throughout life by women with aspergers. It also tackles misconceptions about women on the spectrum and how these are both harmful for those seeking a diagnosis and those who are already diagnosed. I feel every female on the autistic spectrum could benefit from reading this and develop their self understanding. I bought this book after watching one of Sarah Hendrickxs youtube videos about autism and anxiety. I am now hoping to read her other books as she writes and talks about autism in a way only someone who has actually experienced it can.
July 19, 2023
I was pleasantly surprised by this book. Going by the title, I was expecting it to be a bit outdated, what with the medicalization of ‘autism spectrum disorder’ and then the person-first language (many autistic people prefer the identity-first ‘autistic person’ as opposed to ‘person with autism’). Both of these suggested that this book was going to be an old school look at autism, but nope, it’s actually pretty up-to-date.
First off, I liked the anecdotes, stories and thoughts from the autistic women scattered throughout the book. Some of them made me laugh (the woman not interested in making new friends, unless she comes across someone to help her with IT and then maybe she has an opening). Others held a strong sense of recognition (the woman who spent school playtimes alone at the ‘naughty wall’ because she didn’t know what else to do at playtime). Mainly, it was just comforting to read about women with similar or least understandable life experiences to myself; who (mis)understand the world in a lot of the same ways that I do.
My absolute favourite chapter was ‘Adult Relationships’, which took a look at autistic women making and maintaining friendships in adulthood. What I liked was that it went beyond, ‘Yeah, autistic women are bad at having friends’, to actually inquire, ‘Do autistic women want friends? And if so, what do those friendships look like?’ This approach is so important for, number one, not taking for granted that autistic people have the same social needs at neurotypicals (we don’t), and number two, for giving agency to autistic people to have a say in what they want their relationships to look like. This moves away from the deficit model that autistic people can’t form and maintain ‘normal’ relationships and therefore they are deficient, to one that’s more like autistic people can and do form relationships that take their own shapes, often formed around shared interests rather than socializing, and that they tend to get on better with other neurodiverse people. This takes away the neurotypical yardstick as the be all and end all of relationships and adds much needed diversity to the picture. Much appreciated!
My least favourite chapter was the gender and sexuality one. Now, I appreciate that this topic is a quagmire, and it’s far beyond the scope of the book to really get into exactly what is happening with the high proportion of autistic people identifying as trans, but I felt like this chapter forgoes even meaningfully questioning this. There’s some patter about it being the right route for some and not for others, but it holds firm to the idea that gender is this real, solid thing and doesn’t even question gender being a product of socialization. And hey, you know what group of people struggles with intuitively picking up socialization? Yeah. Which then becomes an ethical concern, I would say, when medical interventions are presented as a solution to 'incorrectly' learnt socialization. If you’re going to have a chapter that talks about gender in relation to autism, it feels amiss to not at least suggest that there are concerns in this field.
A couple of last things I want to say about this book: it occasionally veers a little too close to ‘not like other girls’ territory. When this is autistic contributors, it’s kind of a free pass in my opinion, but when it’s the writer herself, I want better. Occasionally there is a distinct whiff of, ‘Other women are emotional, don’t say what they mean, and they like impractical shoes and handbags’. Look, we can find ways to talk about being autistic women without denigrating neurotypical women or distancing ourselves from them, I think.
And then at the very end, in the wrap up, there’s a bit that I felt was incongruous with a lot of what has been said before. It’s about how late diagnosis can be a good thing because it means you haven’t spent your life limiting your aspirations. Okay, let’s unpick this by refuting the idea that, “You can do anything you set your mind to!” is a helpful message for disabled people. If you are an autistic person, you’ve probably learnt by now that you have limits and if you keep pushing through those limits, you’re probably going to bring yourself to a level of mental and/or physical harm. Until this point, the book has made this very point itself! Almost every autistic person I’ve come across has had a period of non-functioning breakdown/shutdown/meltdown due to stress from exceeding limits for too long. So this idea that not knowing about your autism so you just keep pushing yourself… Yeesh. Unhelpful and unrealistic advice that edges too close to the idea of disability being a bad thing.
But overall, liked this book a lot, found it fun to read, and I can absolutely see it being a valuable contribution, particularly for those involved in the diagnosis of autistic women and girls.
First off, I liked the anecdotes, stories and thoughts from the autistic women scattered throughout the book. Some of them made me laugh (the woman not interested in making new friends, unless she comes across someone to help her with IT and then maybe she has an opening). Others held a strong sense of recognition (the woman who spent school playtimes alone at the ‘naughty wall’ because she didn’t know what else to do at playtime). Mainly, it was just comforting to read about women with similar or least understandable life experiences to myself; who (mis)understand the world in a lot of the same ways that I do.
My absolute favourite chapter was ‘Adult Relationships’, which took a look at autistic women making and maintaining friendships in adulthood. What I liked was that it went beyond, ‘Yeah, autistic women are bad at having friends’, to actually inquire, ‘Do autistic women want friends? And if so, what do those friendships look like?’ This approach is so important for, number one, not taking for granted that autistic people have the same social needs at neurotypicals (we don’t), and number two, for giving agency to autistic people to have a say in what they want their relationships to look like. This moves away from the deficit model that autistic people can’t form and maintain ‘normal’ relationships and therefore they are deficient, to one that’s more like autistic people can and do form relationships that take their own shapes, often formed around shared interests rather than socializing, and that they tend to get on better with other neurodiverse people. This takes away the neurotypical yardstick as the be all and end all of relationships and adds much needed diversity to the picture. Much appreciated!
My least favourite chapter was the gender and sexuality one. Now, I appreciate that this topic is a quagmire, and it’s far beyond the scope of the book to really get into exactly what is happening with the high proportion of autistic people identifying as trans, but I felt like this chapter forgoes even meaningfully questioning this. There’s some patter about it being the right route for some and not for others, but it holds firm to the idea that gender is this real, solid thing and doesn’t even question gender being a product of socialization. And hey, you know what group of people struggles with intuitively picking up socialization? Yeah. Which then becomes an ethical concern, I would say, when medical interventions are presented as a solution to 'incorrectly' learnt socialization. If you’re going to have a chapter that talks about gender in relation to autism, it feels amiss to not at least suggest that there are concerns in this field.
A couple of last things I want to say about this book: it occasionally veers a little too close to ‘not like other girls’ territory. When this is autistic contributors, it’s kind of a free pass in my opinion, but when it’s the writer herself, I want better. Occasionally there is a distinct whiff of, ‘Other women are emotional, don’t say what they mean, and they like impractical shoes and handbags’. Look, we can find ways to talk about being autistic women without denigrating neurotypical women or distancing ourselves from them, I think.
And then at the very end, in the wrap up, there’s a bit that I felt was incongruous with a lot of what has been said before. It’s about how late diagnosis can be a good thing because it means you haven’t spent your life limiting your aspirations. Okay, let’s unpick this by refuting the idea that, “You can do anything you set your mind to!” is a helpful message for disabled people. If you are an autistic person, you’ve probably learnt by now that you have limits and if you keep pushing through those limits, you’re probably going to bring yourself to a level of mental and/or physical harm. Until this point, the book has made this very point itself! Almost every autistic person I’ve come across has had a period of non-functioning breakdown/shutdown/meltdown due to stress from exceeding limits for too long. So this idea that not knowing about your autism so you just keep pushing yourself… Yeesh. Unhelpful and unrealistic advice that edges too close to the idea of disability being a bad thing.
But overall, liked this book a lot, found it fun to read, and I can absolutely see it being a valuable contribution, particularly for those involved in the diagnosis of autistic women and girls.
August 28, 2023
Ever since I learned that autism presents quite differently in girls and boys I’ve been keen to learn more so I can self-diagnose those around me… just kidding… 😳👀 ultimately the criteria for diagnosis of ASD is based on how it presents in boys, which has led to gross under-diagnosis of girls with the condition. Some points I have learned:
-Girls are much better at mimicking the behaviour of those around them and ‘masking’ than boys are, which is why autism appears to be less common
-Autism is linked with depression and anxiety, and those who are autistic are 4x more likely to develop it compared to someone who is neurotypical
-They often enjoy solitude and do not need much social interaction- they’re happy with their own company
-Individuals with autism appreciate structure and consistency and require a routine which they can follow- this will make them feel secure
-They feel emotions much more intensely than their neurotypical counterparts, and also have heightened sensory inputs. This is a takeaway for my job as well- while most kids may feel reassured by a gentle pat or a little squeeze of the shoulder, this would have the opposite effect in someone with autism.
-There are things that are naturally understood by neurotypicals which may not come naturally to those with autism, eg reading body language, understanding the need for hygiene, even how to use the toilet (initially)
I am of course generalising what is a spectrum of disease but I think these are characteristics shared by most individuals. As for the book itself, I enjoyed that it included both research and anecdotes from women and girls with ASD, but it was a bit repetitive at times. I think its intended audience was more for experts in this subject area rather than stinky ol me 😗
-Girls are much better at mimicking the behaviour of those around them and ‘masking’ than boys are, which is why autism appears to be less common
-Autism is linked with depression and anxiety, and those who are autistic are 4x more likely to develop it compared to someone who is neurotypical
-They often enjoy solitude and do not need much social interaction- they’re happy with their own company
-Individuals with autism appreciate structure and consistency and require a routine which they can follow- this will make them feel secure
-They feel emotions much more intensely than their neurotypical counterparts, and also have heightened sensory inputs. This is a takeaway for my job as well- while most kids may feel reassured by a gentle pat or a little squeeze of the shoulder, this would have the opposite effect in someone with autism.
-There are things that are naturally understood by neurotypicals which may not come naturally to those with autism, eg reading body language, understanding the need for hygiene, even how to use the toilet (initially)
I am of course generalising what is a spectrum of disease but I think these are characteristics shared by most individuals. As for the book itself, I enjoyed that it included both research and anecdotes from women and girls with ASD, but it was a bit repetitive at times. I think its intended audience was more for experts in this subject area rather than stinky ol me 😗
April 12, 2021
Lovingly labelled "unique and quirky" by my parents, and diagnosed with OCD and anxiety in high school, I only wore pajamas and sweatpants from 8th grade onwards because I could not stand the texture or clinginess of jeans. I ate the same breakfast hotpocket every day for four years. I still will eat the same food for weeks. I have a strict routine where I do the same thing every day (and I mean every day) and will panic and cry if someone changes it on me. I go nonverbal in crowds, get migraines from crowds, have thrown up, passed out, gotten panic attacks from being surrounded by people. I have a hard time following multiple conversations and keeping conversations going or knowing how to respond. I spend many hours going over conversational scripts. I hate eye contact and have been lectured about it ever since I was a small child sitting in the corner silently at all family reunions. (And at home for that matter, I'm big on corners and specific chairs.) I don't have a wide net of friends. I have intense special interests - cats, art, reading. I have journals filled with thousands of character names and short biographies for each written in coded language from my own fantasy world. ANYWAY, the list goes on.
And I was like, ah, yeah, I'm weird and I'll never understand why. I watched a vlog a month or so ago now and there was a moment where I was like, ah. I related to everything she said. Thus I started watching vlogs and TEDtalks from women diagnosed with ASD every night, and that's how I came to this book. I saw this author's lecture on youtube and thought I'd give it a try.
...Every highlight is something I related to.
It was especially helpful for me to know my mental health diagnosis in high school are common comorbidities of ASD, but it was disheartening to read how many girls are missed with diagnosis, and that up until recently it wasn't considered something girls could get at all. It's extremely hard to get a diagnosis as an adult. I'm not saying that I'm definitely ASD, but it would make a lot of sense to me and would be a great relief if I was. Either way it certainly helps to learn more about it.
I will say that I did not like the LGBT section that much, and I think it would benefit from someone with a gender studies degree looking over it. I think the quotes provided were poorly chosen.
And I was like, ah, yeah, I'm weird and I'll never understand why. I watched a vlog a month or so ago now and there was a moment where I was like, ah. I related to everything she said. Thus I started watching vlogs and TEDtalks from women diagnosed with ASD every night, and that's how I came to this book. I saw this author's lecture on youtube and thought I'd give it a try.
...Every highlight is something I related to.
It was especially helpful for me to know my mental health diagnosis in high school are common comorbidities of ASD, but it was disheartening to read how many girls are missed with diagnosis, and that up until recently it wasn't considered something girls could get at all. It's extremely hard to get a diagnosis as an adult. I'm not saying that I'm definitely ASD, but it would make a lot of sense to me and would be a great relief if I was. Either way it certainly helps to learn more about it.
I will say that I did not like the LGBT section that much, and I think it would benefit from someone with a gender studies degree looking over it. I think the quotes provided were poorly chosen.
June 26, 2024
This was a slow but very meaningful read for me. The book is a well referenced but still very readable account of the fundamental differences that being female makes to those on the autism spectrum, from diagnosis to living every day in a neurotypical world. Some of the chapters about the special linguistic abilities of young ASD girls I could have written myself and the additional research on food that was contributed by Jess Hendrickx was particularly illuminating.
Thank you Sarah Hendrickx for spending over a decade of your life on this important topic which, like all medical issues to do with the female experience, has been undervalued and under researched.
Thank you Sarah Hendrickx for spending over a decade of your life on this important topic which, like all medical issues to do with the female experience, has been undervalued and under researched.
Read
June 11, 2023[11.06.2023]
Nie daje oceny bo to nie książka do oceniania.
Pierwsze wydanie za granicą 2015 więc myślę że trzeba brać to pod uwagę.
Innaczej się czyta nie będąc osoba w temacie, a będąc rodzicem czy sama osoba zainteresowana (no po prostu osoba której to dotyczy)
Momentami czułam takie "tak to o mnie" innymi momentami "Czy ja tu nie pasuje ?" pamiętajmy Spektrum Autyzmu to SPEKTRUM więc nigdy wszystko nie będzie się zgadzać tym bardziej jak ma się to i ADHD i w ogóle. Momentami czytało mi się to po prostu smutno i z żalem.
Bo mam żal do siebie do swojego życia etc.
Ale się akceptuje.
Ostatnie rozdziały w tym o starzeniu się bardzo mnie to zdołowało.
Czy ta książka coś mi dała? Tak na pewno.
Na pewno kiedyś jeszcze przeczytam coś w tym stylu bo to chyba była naukowa. Nie jestem pewna.
Mniejsza o to jak chcesz zgłębić temat etc nawet jak nie jesteś w temacie to myślę że spoko pozycja
Nie daje oceny bo to nie książka do oceniania.
Pierwsze wydanie za granicą 2015 więc myślę że trzeba brać to pod uwagę.
Innaczej się czyta nie będąc osoba w temacie, a będąc rodzicem czy sama osoba zainteresowana (no po prostu osoba której to dotyczy)
Momentami czułam takie "tak to o mnie" innymi momentami "Czy ja tu nie pasuje ?" pamiętajmy Spektrum Autyzmu to SPEKTRUM więc nigdy wszystko nie będzie się zgadzać tym bardziej jak ma się to i ADHD i w ogóle. Momentami czytało mi się to po prostu smutno i z żalem.
Bo mam żal do siebie do swojego życia etc.
Ale się akceptuje.
Ostatnie rozdziały w tym o starzeniu się bardzo mnie to zdołowało.
Czy ta książka coś mi dała? Tak na pewno.
Na pewno kiedyś jeszcze przeczytam coś w tym stylu bo to chyba była naukowa. Nie jestem pewna.
Mniejsza o to jak chcesz zgłębić temat etc nawet jak nie jesteś w temacie to myślę że spoko pozycja
May 17, 2015
A Review: Women and Girls with Autism Spectrum Disorder by Sarah Hendrickx
My interest in this book is personal, having family members representing both the female and male side of Autism Spectrum Disorder, with the female members having had a harder time getting a diagnosis – so I jumped at reading and reviewing ‘Women and Girls with Autism Spectrum Disorder’ thirsty for information on the subject.
In our case, one adult female in her 60’s remains without a formal diagnosis, and two teenage nieces, aged 13 and 15 respectively are currently going through the diagnostic process (with one recent formal diagnosis) much later in life than my own son who was diagnosed aged 10. This has meant that my son was supported through the transition to secondary school, whereas the females have had none. The subsequent effort of ‘struggling on’ without help will inevitably have a huge impact on their later lives as adults, although of course we cannot measure it.
‘Women and Girls with Autism Spectrum Disorder’ is an intelligently written and very informative book, well-researched and full of facts and figures reflecting on the manifestations of ASD in male and female subjects, and the need for varying diagnostic criteria based on the differences between them.
I found this book very interesting, but it was quite heavy going, particularly bearing in mind the number of references to other works; a necessary requirement for a research based piece of writing requiring supporting information. Although only around 248 pages, the ‘layperson’ would possibly not sustain attention for the duration of the book, with the reading audience likely consisting of students, academics, and professionals working in this specific field .
Overall I applaud the author’s commitment to the subject; ASD is widely misunderstood in the Neurotypical world, even by mainstream school teachers, GPs and surgeries who may be the first approached in seeking an assessment, and who should therefore have a working knowledge of the condition in their everyday employment. To acknowledge further that what may diagnose ASD in a male, may not be the same as the deciding diagnostic factors in a female can only help towards further provision of the necessary support and care of more people with this condition, particularly from youth.
I give this book 3 stars out of 5.
March 20, 2016
I read this book as I have been interested in reading it for a while. I heard Hendrickx deliver a lecture for my course on Autism in September 2015 and she was an inspiring and interesting person. I am now planning an assignment and research project about women with autism in a College environment so reading this book seemed to be a great place to start. I enjoyed the fact that the book was interspersed with Hendrickx's own experiences as a woman with autism and the direct words of others involved in her research project. This enabled a wider range of topics to be discussed such as puberty, employment and ageing and its relation to women. In quite a lot of areas the topic has not been looked at in any depth before as most research studies about autism have specifically focussed on men and some still believe that autism is only present in men and boys. The book details indicators of autism in women and the ways it differs from classic male autism. I have learned a lot from the book. I have read the book on line and it the first time I have read a whole book on the computer not a kindle or other paper version. This was due to it being available in my university on line library. I will recommend this book to all interested in autism, specifically issues surrounding women and autism and psychology.
November 23, 2020
Having listened to several of Sarah's presentations on YouTube, I was familiar with a lot of the narrative so for me the value was in the quotes from autistic women themselves. These have really highlighted to me that the female autistic experience is quite different to the male-based clinical diagnosis criteria.
August 2, 2024
4,5 ⭐️ Boeken als deze geven een belangrijk, doch niet limitatief, beeld van ervaringen van vrouwen met ASS. Een groep die groter is dan we weten, omdat zo velen niet of pas op latere leeftijd worden gediagnosticeerd. Voor velen zal dit boek enige (of veel) erkenning bieden, en hopelijk steken veel neurotypische mensen hier ook het een en ander van op.
Hoe schrijnend het eigenlijk is dat, mede door de maatschappelijke genderverwachtingen, meisjes en vrouwen gezien worden als minder als er niet of maar deels wordt voldaan aan het plaatje van sociale conformiteit, en dat het moeten voldoen aan ridicule en ongeschreven sociale normen zo belastend is dat het ziek maakt? Hoe schrijnend is het dat anders zijn en anders informatie verwerken en denken vrijwel standaard leidt tot afwijzing, terwijl de unieke talenten en positieve kanten niet worden gezien of gewaardeerd? Daar kan de maatschappij als geheel nog het een en ander van leren… 🤔
Hoe schrijnend het eigenlijk is dat, mede door de maatschappelijke genderverwachtingen, meisjes en vrouwen gezien worden als minder als er niet of maar deels wordt voldaan aan het plaatje van sociale conformiteit, en dat het moeten voldoen aan ridicule en ongeschreven sociale normen zo belastend is dat het ziek maakt? Hoe schrijnend is het dat anders zijn en anders informatie verwerken en denken vrijwel standaard leidt tot afwijzing, terwijl de unieke talenten en positieve kanten niet worden gezien of gewaardeerd? Daar kan de maatschappij als geheel nog het een en ander van leren… 🤔
January 21, 2024
asking how much tism does a girl gotta pop to experience one tiny sliver of self awareness is like asking how many hospitals does obama gotta drone strike till democracy. i have a playlist called mpreg sonic birthing vid HD for when i hijack the aux cord for jihad inducing purposes only. in the middling tannins of a 2016 vintage kylie jenner dared to say, “And I feel like this year is really about, just the year of realising stuff.” unfortunately, it is already 2024. when the last fire burns out time too will end, and i hope there isn’t a bonus round.
May 18, 2025
3.5 stars I think. It was very long and very detailed but there’s def some areas for improvement in readability and some topics that weren’t addressed much or could have been addressed better. Her original research sample size was smaller than I’d like.
February 1, 2020
Książka pozwala trochę zajrzeć do głowy dziewczynki/kobiety w spektrum autyzmu oraz zrozumieć trudności, z którymi taka osoba mierzy się na co dzień. Bardzo dobra pozycja dla każdej kobiety, która podejrzewa u siebie ASD, jej bliskich oraz terapeutów i innych specjalistów z zakresu zdrowia psychicznego.
Read
November 9, 2025jak to dobrze w koncu czuc sie zrozumiana
November 10, 2022
I appreciate the information about the differences in clinical diagnoses and the findings of various research on the topic. What I don’t understand is the particular line of comparison with women without an asd diagnosis. The author almost makes it sound like neuro-typical women have no problem with patriarchal sex roles, being and feminine and they loovve to play the relationship game. Wtf!? Have we moved to a timeline where feminism never happened and the only gender nonconformity we observe probably comes from women with asd. I wonder if this is most reasonable interpretation of the findings about the hormonal and behavioural “masculinising” of girls and women with asd. The particular interpretation, in my opinion, has two main problems:
1. The author conflated correlation with causation and further the direction of that causality when it comes to sex roles and “femininty vs masculinity”.
2. In my opinion, if one is writing a book about the experience of women and girls on a particular topic, then maybe she had better considered reading a little about the history of neurotypical women and their struggle/fight against the sex roles and patriarchy. Without this larger societal context, as I said above, the interpretation is half-cooked and ignorant.
I also have an issue with the use of “neurotypical”. So, this book is about the difficulties sometimes impossiblity of diagnosing female autism due to the shortcomings of medical and psychiatric science as well as societal norms that make it easier for women to be overseen. For the comparison (between neurodivergent and neurotypical) to make sense one has to make sure that everybody in either group is rightfully assigned to that group. Yet, the author seems to suggest that until a woman is diagnosed with “neurodiversity, she is neurotypical.”
On another note, I don’t understand why a male (who prefers to live a feminine life) has been included in this book this person probably have been diagnosed as a child and therefore matched the diagnostic panel of the male standard. I guess, it is the case that proves the rule of disregard for women’s medical and mental health.
There is also some homophobia in some of the anecdotes that doesn’t really have to be in the book. We didn’t need to read such opinions of such gender nonconformists.
1. The author conflated correlation with causation and further the direction of that causality when it comes to sex roles and “femininty vs masculinity”.
2. In my opinion, if one is writing a book about the experience of women and girls on a particular topic, then maybe she had better considered reading a little about the history of neurotypical women and their struggle/fight against the sex roles and patriarchy. Without this larger societal context, as I said above, the interpretation is half-cooked and ignorant.
I also have an issue with the use of “neurotypical”. So, this book is about the difficulties sometimes impossiblity of diagnosing female autism due to the shortcomings of medical and psychiatric science as well as societal norms that make it easier for women to be overseen. For the comparison (between neurodivergent and neurotypical) to make sense one has to make sure that everybody in either group is rightfully assigned to that group. Yet, the author seems to suggest that until a woman is diagnosed with “neurodiversity, she is neurotypical.”
On another note, I don’t understand why a male (who prefers to live a feminine life) has been included in this book this person probably have been diagnosed as a child and therefore matched the diagnostic panel of the male standard. I guess, it is the case that proves the rule of disregard for women’s medical and mental health.
There is also some homophobia in some of the anecdotes that doesn’t really have to be in the book. We didn’t need to read such opinions of such gender nonconformists.
January 18, 2023
i found this book very informative as someone who is seeking a diagnosis for myself and researching around the topic, but i did have a few issues with it.
firstly, the goods:
- comprehensive and easy to digest information about different stages of life and how ASD manifests in those stages - this was helpful for me understanding my feelings of alienation, distress and meltdowns when i was a child.
- the chapters about friendships, relationships and pregnancy / parenthood were particularly illuminating (and validating)
- it’s awareness of areas that are distinctly lacking in research felt really important - especially for that of comorbidity, health conditions and ageing with ASD
the bads:
- perhaps it is just a product of the early 2010s “not like other girls” phenomenon, but there was a distinct presence of unchecked internalised misogyny not only from the author but also from the sample group questioned. the NT woman being “obsessed with boys, makeup and gossip” felt incredibly lack lustre in its attempts of truly understanding why autistic women feel alienated from neurotypical women.
- the whole chapter on sexuality and gender was just… written in poor faith, i think. it was incredibly cis-centric (though, again, perhaps a product of its time) and used a lot of patronising language in regards to nonbinary and trans masc individuals in particular, though i was interested in the trans women who were interviewed and their experiences with their transness intersecting with their ASD.
overall, this book was certainly helpful for my understanding of ASD and reflected a lot of my experiences to a T. i just think that some topics should have been approached with more grace than they were, and more understanding should have been made for queer people on the spectrum.
firstly, the goods:
- comprehensive and easy to digest information about different stages of life and how ASD manifests in those stages - this was helpful for me understanding my feelings of alienation, distress and meltdowns when i was a child.
- the chapters about friendships, relationships and pregnancy / parenthood were particularly illuminating (and validating)
- it’s awareness of areas that are distinctly lacking in research felt really important - especially for that of comorbidity, health conditions and ageing with ASD
the bads:
- perhaps it is just a product of the early 2010s “not like other girls” phenomenon, but there was a distinct presence of unchecked internalised misogyny not only from the author but also from the sample group questioned. the NT woman being “obsessed with boys, makeup and gossip” felt incredibly lack lustre in its attempts of truly understanding why autistic women feel alienated from neurotypical women.
- the whole chapter on sexuality and gender was just… written in poor faith, i think. it was incredibly cis-centric (though, again, perhaps a product of its time) and used a lot of patronising language in regards to nonbinary and trans masc individuals in particular, though i was interested in the trans women who were interviewed and their experiences with their transness intersecting with their ASD.
overall, this book was certainly helpful for my understanding of ASD and reflected a lot of my experiences to a T. i just think that some topics should have been approached with more grace than they were, and more understanding should have been made for queer people on the spectrum.
May 8, 2023
I expected more from this book. It feels like the author only scratched the surface of the issue. She takes answers from interviewed women with autism and presents some conclusions, but does not support them with sufficient studies or evidence. I was buying it until the chapter about parenting, where most presented issues and behaviors are very common for most mothers, regardless, neurotypical or neurodivergent. This got me thinking and questioning everything of what I've read.
If the author herself has autism and did not include a control group of women without autism how can she tell which behaviors are typical of ASD? Especially when she clearly is biased towards neurotypical women and presents lots of internalized misogyny. She quotes several sexist opinions without an ounce of disclaimer. Even at the very end, she writes that we are different species. That's especially shameful in the book about such a patriarchal issue, which is omitting women in medical studies.
Unfortunately, author does not stress that fact. How she describes it you would think that it was all just some unfortunate misunderstanding. Not a standard practice of excluding women from studies and treating us like smaller men in symptoms, and in dosing as well. Which led to worse diagnose and treatment for women.
Oh, how disappointing 😞
If the author herself has autism and did not include a control group of women without autism how can she tell which behaviors are typical of ASD? Especially when she clearly is biased towards neurotypical women and presents lots of internalized misogyny. She quotes several sexist opinions without an ounce of disclaimer. Even at the very end, she writes that we are different species. That's especially shameful in the book about such a patriarchal issue, which is omitting women in medical studies.
Unfortunately, author does not stress that fact. How she describes it you would think that it was all just some unfortunate misunderstanding. Not a standard practice of excluding women from studies and treating us like smaller men in symptoms, and in dosing as well. Which led to worse diagnose and treatment for women.
Oh, how disappointing 😞
September 5, 2021
Absolutely brilliant book. I was diagnosed about seven years ago, and as an adult it feels like you have to, in a sense, rediscover yourself in the light of the new information. This book, with all its insights into the complexities of women on the spectrum, was like a breath of fresh air. At times it felt like someone had been looking into my own life, so relevant was the experiences of others and the research and findings done about certain traits common to women and girls. I liked how the author was open about her own experiences too, it softened the often authoritative nature of, what often can seem a very logically written book. I thought the section on pregnancy was a bit vaguer than I would have liked, but overall the book was very informative and offered some very helpful suggestions.
I loved how respectful the book was, also. It doesn't do as some autism books have, and in a sense see neurotypical people as the enemy. And the final chapter is so encouraging and inspiring! It's so nice to read a book that can make you see the autism in a positive light instead of it being this huge problem we feel we somehow have to fix.
I would definitely recommend this, to both autistic women and girls, and to the people who love and care for them. A definite keeper.
I loved how respectful the book was, also. It doesn't do as some autism books have, and in a sense see neurotypical people as the enemy. And the final chapter is so encouraging and inspiring! It's so nice to read a book that can make you see the autism in a positive light instead of it being this huge problem we feel we somehow have to fix.
I would definitely recommend this, to both autistic women and girls, and to the people who love and care for them. A definite keeper.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 238 reviews