Balancing the Big Stuff: Finding Happiness in Work, Family, and Life

by Miriam Liss, Holly H. Schiffrin, Brigid Schulte (Foreword)

While the current conversation about work-family balance and “having it all” tends to focus on women, both men and women are harmed when conditions make it impossible to balance meaningful work with family life. Yet, both will benefit from re-evaluating what it means to have it all and fighting for changes in their relationships and society to make greater equality possible. Here, Miriam Liss and Holly Hollomon Schiffrin discuss the ways in which we all define “having it all” and how we can obtain it for ourselves through a better evaluation of what we want from ourselves, our families, our jobs, and each other. Determining a 50/50 division of labor around the house may not be the thing that works for everyone. Working from home or not at all may not be the thing to bring us satisfaction, but learning what studies show and how to feel balanced and make those decisions to bring balance is crucial. The authors argue that people can find balance in their roles by doing things in moderation. Although being engaged in both parenting and work is good for well-being, people can avoid the pitfalls of over-parenting and over-working. They show that balance can come from a meaningful consideration of what happiness and contentedness mean to us as individuals, and how best to achieve our goals within the limitations of our current circumstances. They illustrate that balance is not simply an individual problem. Social issues such as the lack of parental leave, flexible work schedules, and affordable, high quality child care make balance difficult. With attention now on the issue, they argue that it’s time men and women advocate for better services and better opportunities to achieve balance, happiness, and success in all their roles.

Genres: Nonfiction, Self Help

450 pages, Kindle Edition

First published January 1, 2014

Reviews

[Brigid Schulte]

YOU MUST READ THIS BOOK! Wonderful and insightful research to shed light on what's out of balance in our lives and how to find that sweet spot on the inverted U curve of life

[Stephanie K · Rating 5 out of 5]

5/5 ⭐️
I need to laminate certain pages of this book and carry it with me everywhere. This book is gold and lays out cumulative research and suggestions on what it means to have it all and be truly happy (spoiler: it isn’t what most of us think). Will definitely be rereading and gifting this book.

[Story Circle Book Reviews · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book's subtitle sums it up nicely: Finding Happiness in Work, Family and Life. That's exactly what Liss and Schiffrin discuss in this timely and well-researched book that should be a must read for men and women alike.

Authors Liss and Schiffrin write that the key to all of life is "finding the sweet spot" where "not too much of any one thing, but just enough of everything" brings intrinsic motivation to an individual. And at the heart of this intrinsic motivation are three things: autonomy, competence and relatedness. This is not a book about "mommy issues." In fact, this isn't even a book solely about women's issues. Finding happiness in all of life is an issue for everyone—male or female.

The authors tackle such issues as finding balance, balancing multiple roles, parenting, the benefits of work, child rearing principles, corporate expectations, money, integrity and gender differences.

It may come as a surprise to some, but authors Liss and Schiffrin boldly pronounce that "there can be too much of a good thing!" Using sound research to back up their statements, they point out that balance is not always a guaranteed path to happiness but go one step further:

What really matters is whether people involve themselves in activities that allow them to meet their needs for autonomy, competence and relatedness... Being meaningfully involved in both work and family life creates more opportunities to feel a sense of autonomy, to feel competent, and to make meaningful social connections.

With my own children grown and gone from my house, one might think that this information is no longer relevant to me. But I found this book to be validating and enlightening to this grandmother who is well into her sixth decade and questioning her current work/home life balance.

I would highly recommend this book to my children, my co-workers and friends. My thanks to the authors for taking the time to so thoroughly explore this subject and for presenting it in a factual yet friendly and encouraging way.

by Lee Ambrose
for Story Circle Book Reviews
reviewing books by, for, and about women

[Jeremy's Readings · Rating 4 out of 5]

All my new year resolutions in one book