I was so excited for this one. I had been really looking forward to reading it, especially because the premise felt incredibly relatable: a PhD student in her late twenties forced out of her PhD and back home to live with her mother. It felt, at least initially, like I was reading about myself. The struggles surrounding doctoral life, financial insecurity, ambition, uncertainty, and that strange feeling of being stuck while everyone around you seems to have already found their footing felt very true to the experiences of many PhD students.
Unfortunately, the book did not deliver on that potential for me. The first six or so chapters were genuinely engaging. The opening pulled me in quickly, established an interesting situation, and made me want to see where the story would go. I love murder mysteries, stories about killers, and horror, and I usually enjoy books that combine those elements with a more personal or character-driven story. Here, however, I gradually lost interest once the initial hook wore off. The book does a good job of getting your attention at the beginning, but I found it increasingly difficult to remain invested in what followed.
I also struggled with some of the book's approach to diversity and description. There were moments when the attention given to the racial or ethnic identity of certain characters felt conspicuous and overly deliberate. The protagonist repeatedly notices and identifies the skin colour or ethnic background of characters of colour, including a Middle Eastern man and a Black woman whose afro and skin colour are specifically described, while white characters generally receive no equivalent visual identification. As a Middle Eastern reader myself, I found some of these descriptions particularly distracting because they sometimes made characters of colour feel as though they were being presented as visual markers of diversity rather than simply as people occupying the same world as everyone else.
This became especially noticeable because the descriptions seemed to draw attention to difference without always giving that difference a meaningful function within the scene. It started to feel less like natural observation from the protagonist and more like the narrative was reminding me that these characters were diverse. That effect pulled me out of the story rather than making the world feel more representative. There was so much potential here, particularly in the premise and in the portrayal of a young academic whose plans have fallen apart. I wanted to connect with this book, and for a while I really thought I would. The opening gave me exactly the kind of story I was hoping for, but the later chapters gradually lost the momentum and emotional investment that had made me so excited to begin with. A disappointing read, especially because the premise felt so personally promising.