Color of Surrender

by Lucia Laurence

Todd

My life is exactly how I built it. Successful. Solitary.

Under control.

No attachments. No unwanted feelings. No mess.

Be the one holding all the cards, and no one gets to hurt you. Walk away first, and no one gets to leave you.

It’s a state of affairs I have zero interest in changing, least of all for some compulsively-ironed, square-as-can-be…Squarespace of a man who has the audacity to turn me down when I offer him the night of fun he obviously needs.
And when next Monday rolls around and said Squarespace turns out to be my new coworker? Why, that’s just an opportunity for a little entertainment to liven up my work weeks.

Ari Lopez should be effortless to dismiss. He’s quiet, obnoxiously rule-following, and so far from my usual type, it’s not even funny. Worst of all, he insists on calling me Theodore, even after I’ve made it perfectly clear that’s something no one gets away with.

Except, the longer I look at him (hey, I’m just bored, alright?) the harder it is to look away. The more I try to get under his skin, the more it feels like somehow, he’s the one getting under mine.

And don’t even get me started on those long lashed, hazel-blue eyes of his. I am only human, after all.

As for the…things…he’s starting to make me feel? Well, the less said about any of that, the better.

When a fake-boyfriend scheme gives me the perfect excuse to get closer to him, I tell myself I’m only doing it for a laugh.

Oh, and the benefits. Don’t forget about those.

I mean, what other reason could there possibly be?

Ari

I’ve accepted that some things are simply not meant for me.

Romance. Relationships. Being wanted by someone who actually means it.

And really, it’s alright. I have safe, comfortable routines, work I enjoy, a best friend determined to keep my life interesting, and a loving, albeit sometimes overwhelming family.

That does not mean I never wonder what it would be like to have more…I just know better than to expect it.

Especially from a man like Theodore Lancaster.

Theodore is everything that terrifies arrogant, rude, loud. Confident, intrusive, sharp-edged, and impossible to ignore. Beautiful in a way that sucks the air from the room and leaves me breathless. From the moment he becomes my new coworker, he seems determined to turn my carefully ordered life into something chaotic and deeply inconvenient.
So when my well-meaning mother calls with yet another blind-date setup and I panic my way into inventing a boyfriend, the last name I should give her is Theodore’s.

Naturally, it is the first one my brain supplies.

Now Theodore and I have an arrangement. A few rules. A few appearances together. A very clear understanding that none of it is real.

Which would be much easier to remember if he weren’t so surprisingly convincing.

Or if I weren’t starting to wish that maybe he wasn’t just pretending after all.

Color of Surrender is a high heat, enemies(ish)-to-lovers MM romance between a self-proclaimed a**hole and the sweet but snarky coworker whose attention he unaccountably craves. Their story features fake dating, hard-won vulnerability, hurt/comfort, first times, swoon-worthy amounts of possessive protectiveness, and enough tension and chemistry to give human resources a heart attack. Color of Surrender is book 3 in the Colors of Us series, but has its own HEA and can be read as a standalone.

Genres: M M Romance, Slow Burn, Fiction, Contemporary Romance

541 pages, Kindle Edition

Published October 13, 2026

Reviews

[Shanice · Rating 2.5 out of 5]

It took me TWO WEEKS to write this review.
I finished this book about two weeks ago, and immediately after finishing it, I started typing out my thoughts. But I was so genuinely angry that I told myself, "You know what? Put the review down, walk away, and come back when you've had time to process everything."

Well, guess what?

THE ANGER DID NOT DISSIPATE. IT GREW.

The longer I sat with this book, the more frustrated I became. I even talked it over with another ARC reader who ended up DNFing it, and at that point, I realized I had finished this book simply out of perseverance.

Because I did not enjoy this book. Not one single bit.

And I genuinely cannot remember the last time I hated a fictional character as much as I hated Theodore. Or Todd. Or whoever the hell we were dealing with at any given moment.

Let's start there.

~~TODD. THEODORE. WHAT THE FUCK WAS HAPPENING?!~~

There were so many moments throughout this book where I was genuinely confused about what was happening with Theodore and this Todd persona. At one point, I was wondering if Todd was supposed to be an alter ego or if we were dealing with some kind of dissociative identity situation because the internal dialogue was just THAT confusing to me.

We would have moments where Theodore was essentially having conversations with himself, saying things along the lines of Todd not being able to do something regardless of what Theodore wanted.

And I'm sitting there thinking, WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT MEAN?!

I kept waiting for some kind of explanation that would help me understand this dynamic, but I never felt like I got one that adequately addressed my confusion. Maybe there was something I missed, but the way it was presented made parts of the story incredibly difficult for me to follow.

And unfortunately, that wasn't even my biggest issue.

~~THE MISCOMMUNICATION. DEAR GOD, THE MISCOMMUNICATION.~~

Listen, I can handle miscommunication in books. I understand that characters have trauma, insecurities, fears, and emotional baggage that prevent them from communicating effectively. I GET IT!!

But there is a LIMIT.

We were dealing with this nonsense until somewhere around 65% of the book. Hell, I'll be generous and say 63.5%.

THAT IS A LONG-ASS TIME.

And the thing that frustrated me the most was that these weren't always situations where the characters simply couldn't communicate. There were MULTIPLE opportunities for Theodore and Ari to have actual conversations, and they just...didn't.

Instead, they would make these ridiculous, arbitrary assumptions about each other, get upset over conclusions they had created in their own heads, and then continue the same exhausting cycle.

There would be moments where Theodore was actually being decent to Ari, and then Ari would turn around and be unnecessarily mean. Then the roles would reverse.

I WAS TIRED.

At first, I couldn't stand Theodore. Then I got to a point where Ari started getting on my nerves. Eventually, I disliked BOTH of them.

And that's a problem when I'm supposed to be rooting for these two people to fall in love.

~~WHERE WAS THE ROMANCE?! NOT HERE FOLKS~~~

I'm serious.

Where were the swoon-worthy moments? Where was the emotional connection that was supposed to make me believe these two belonged together?

Because I wasn't feeling it.

The constant back-and-forth stopped being entertaining or endearing relatively early for me. It became exhausting, and I reached a point where I genuinely didn't care whether they ended up together.

Actually, let me correct that.

I WANTED THEM TO SEE OTHER PEOPLE.

And I say that with my whole chest.

By the end of this book, I didn't feel like Theodore and Ari had developed the kind of healthy relationship that would make me believe they could work through their issues together.

Theodore had a tremendous amount of personal trauma and self-hatred to address. Ari had his own emotional issues that needed attention. And while I understand that relationships aren't always perfect, I needed to see more meaningful growth from both of them.

Unfortunately, I didn't feel like I got that.

SPOILERS BELOW — PROCEED AT YOUR OWN RISK TW!!

One of my biggest frustrations was the timing of Theodore's emotional breaking point.

Around 65% of the book, we finally begin to understand just how deeply Theodore hates himself. We see how much he has internalized his pain and how his self-destructive behavior has affected his life and relationships.

There is a moment where it's implied that Theodore is struggling with thoughts of not wanting to wake up anymore, and that becomes a significant turning point in the story.

And I want to be clear about something.

That was genuinely heartbreaking.

Despite how much I disliked Theodore throughout the book, I could recognize the pain he was experiencing. There was something incredibly sad about seeing someone who hated himself so much that he couldn't recognize his own worth.

But my problem was that **we didn't reach this level of understanding until approximately 65% of the book.**

WHY DID WE HAVE TO WAIT THAT LONG?!

I would have appreciated seeing this development much earlier, maybe around the 40% mark, so we could spend more time exploring his emotional growth, his healing, and how that affected his relationship with Ari.

Instead, I felt like we spent the majority of the book being frustrated with Theodore, only to finally understand the depth of his struggles when we were already well past the halfway point.

And then what happened?

SEX. SEX. AND MORE SEX.

Now, y'all know I love a good spicy romance. I have absolutely no problem with spice scenes, especially when they contribute to the emotional development of the relationship.

But by the time we got to that part of the book, I was so disconnected from Theodore and Ari romantically that I genuinely did not care.

And do you know how rare it is for me to stop reading mix sex scene to get on tik tok or insta?

BECAUSE I DID.

I was over it.

I felt like so much of the final portion of the book was dedicated to their physical relationship and navigating their newfound romantic connection, but I needed MORE than that.

I needed to see the emotional work.

I needed to see actual communication.

I needed to see Theodore and Ari address the issues that had kept them apart for the majority of the story.

Instead, it felt like we went from an exhausting cycle of miscommunication, multiple breakups, and emotional turmoil to suddenly trying to convince me that these two were ready to build a relationship.

And I just wasn't convinced.

Even when Ari's family became aware of their relationship and we got those moments of love and acceptance, I couldn't fully appreciate them because I was still frustrated with everything that had happened beforehand.

I wanted to enjoy those moments. I really did.

But I had spent so much time disliking these characters that the emotional payoff simply wasn't there for me.

AND LET'S TALK ABOUT THE PACING AND WRITING.

There were several moments where I genuinely struggled to follow what was happening.

Between the internal conversations involving Todd and Theodore, the flashbacks, and the way certain conversations were presented, I sometimes found myself having to reread sections just to understand what was going on.

I don't mind complicated characters or nonlinear storytelling. In fact, I appreciate stories that explore difficult emotional subjects. Especially if it helps with character development.

But I need the execution to make sense.

I felt like the book spent far too much time keeping the characters emotionally stagnant and then tried to accomplish too much development in the final third.

And by that point, I was exhausted.

Theodore's struggles deserved exploration. Ari's feelings deserved exploration. Their relationship deserved more than what felt like a rushed attempt at reconciliation after spending most of the book hurting each other. I mean really hurting each other back and forth.

I needed the emotional development to match the amount of conflict we had endured.

And for me, it simply didn't.

FINAL THOUGHTS

I know this review sounds harsh, but I genuinely sat with my feelings for two weeks before writing it because I wanted to make sure I wasn't reacting solely out of frustration immediately after finishing the book.

Unfortunately, time didn't change my opinion.

If anything, it made me realize just how much the story didn't work for me.

I didn't enjoy the relationship dynamic. I didn't connect with the romance. I found the miscommunication excessive, the character development insufficient, and certain storytelling choices unnecessarily confusing.

There were emotionally significant moments that I could appreciate, particularly when we began to understand Theodore's struggles with himself, but those moments weren't enough to overcome my overall frustration.

I believe Sky and Maddie may be getting the next book, but unfortunately, I don't think I'll be continuing with the series. If the next story follows a similar pattern of prolonged miscommunication, I already know it's not going to be for me.

And that's okay. Not every book is going to work for every reader.

My rating: 2.5/5 stars.

And let me tell you, I went back and forth about that rating because there were moments when I genuinely wanted to give it two stars.

Ultimately, I can recognize that there were elements of the story that had potential, particularly the exploration of Theodore's mental and emotional struggles. But the execution, the pacing, and the relationship itself left me incredibly disappointed.

I finished this book because I was determined to finish it, not because I was enjoying myself.

And honestly?

By the time Theodore and Ari finally figured out they wanted to be together, I had already decided I didn't want them together.

That pretty much sums up my entire reading experience.

[Tonya Druckenmiller · Rating 5 out of 5]

I freaking LOVE Todd! His snarkiness and internal dialogue absolutely crack me up. The way he fights himself over his feelings while desperately clinging to his carefully controlled life? I gobbled that right up! Watching him slowly unravel over Ari was EVERYTHING.

And Ari—he’s just so dang sweet and painfully insecure. He genuinely believes Todd despises him, yet he still gives as good as he gets. I loved watching this quiet, rule-following sweetheart get under Todd’s skin without even trying. And Todd calling Ari “sweetheart?” Swoon-worthy! 😍

I loved watching these two get inevitably drawn to each other. Their “fake” dating only adds to that delicious magnetic pull, especially as Ari turns Todd’s belief that romance isn’t for him completely upside down. Watching Todd realize he wants so much more than he ever intended? YES, PLEASE.

And the HEA? EVERYTHING. ❤️

I don’t know how Lucia does it, but every book just keeps getting better. Absolutely loved this one—my favorite so far!

**I received a complimentary copy of this book.**

[Jen · Rating 5 out of 5]

I fell so hard for these characters. I felt so immersed in their lives and their feelings... it was incredible! Theodore is hard to like at first, especially when he keeps hurting poor Ari. The more you read though, the more you discover how broken and lonely Theodore really is. It doesn't excuse his behavior though, and there are some scenes that are rather painful to watch, from both sides. I really felt like I was drowning in the hurt and the turmoil, just like they were. It was just so intense! 🤯

When Theodore finally breaks down and gives in to his feelings for Ari, it is so incredibly heartbreaking, and so satisfying. It was everything... 😭😭😭

I've loved the previous books in this series as well, but this one is just on a whole other level. I don't know how she's gonna top this, but I can't wait to read the next one! She is definitely an author that I'll be keeping a close eye on. 💗

[Ema · Rating 5 out of 5]

Its an enemies to lovers workplace romance where both characters were severy hurt in the past and carry a lot of deep trauma. Ari is a very anxious sweetheart who feels very deeply for others, todd is an asshole through and through. I was screaming at Ari to leave him behind in the beginning of the book bc he deserved so much better. But then Aris continued presence in his life forces him to reconnect with his feelings and come back to being Theodore who as we learn was bullied and overlooked most of his life and than decides to be an asshole to protect himself. Very emotional and very fulfilling book

[Juniper · Rating 5 out of 5]

WOW! I loved, loved, loved this book! But that’s no surprise coming from this author. I always connect so deeply to her characters. They always feel so complex and real; they speak my soul’s language. Color of Surrender has everything I want in a romance: deeply relatable emotional themes, characters who feel painfully real, incredible chemistry, vulnerability, and a slow burn that absolutely had me sweating. I also felt like Lucia infused more humor into this book than her previous ones, and I loved that. The humor brought some much-needed lightness without ever diminishing the emotional weight of the story or the characters. I was hooked from the jump. Even books I ultimately love can take a little time to settle into, but this one had me fully invested from the very beginning.

At the heart of the story are two people who couldn’t seem more different on the surface. Ari has resigned himself to being alone forever, with no relationship or sexual experience, not even a first kiss. He’s kind, friendly, observant, and a chronic people-pleaser who remembers the little things about everyone around him and uses those to make them feel special whenever possible. I related to Ari very deeply! So much of his inner monologue resonated with me, and I felt like I understood him almost immediately.

Theodore, meanwhile, has spent years hiding behind “Todd,” a self-proclaimed asshole who is almost the exact opposite of the chronically overlooked, bullied pushover he used to be. At the beginning, I was honestly worried I was going to have to work to fall in love with him. The way he treats Ari upon their first meeting made me want to scream, cry, and throw my Kindle across the room. I’m not big on bullies, and I have a very hard time falling for an MC who uses toxic masculinity or a power imbalance as an excuse to hurt someone. Thankfully, that never became the story. As I got to know Theodore, I began to understand that Todd wasn’t simply the asshole he appeared to be. He was a complicated collection of defenses built around someone more vulnerable underneath.

What we come to understand is that Todd isn’t really a separate version of Theodore so much as the armor he built around himself. Theodore was the person who had been overlooked, bullied, and hurt, while Todd was created to make sure that person could never be vulnerable in quite the same way again. Getting to see both sides of him, and more importantly, getting to see what happens when Ari begins to recognize Theodore through the slowly increasing number of cracks in that armor, was one of my favorite parts of the book.

I also loved really getting to see these characters’ insides alongside their words and actions. We understand their fears, insecurities, coping mechanisms, and attachment styles, which made their behavior feel so much more meaningful. That’s especially true in the way Ari gradually comes to recognize the person underneath “Todd.” Ari actually calls him Theodore all along, never Todd, and there are these fleeting moments when Ari catches glimpses of someone softer and more vulnerable before the walls inevitably go back up. Watching those walls come down brick by brick, only to be rebuilt when Theodore gets scared, was incredibly affecting. By the time he finally allows Ari to see all of him, he is fully broken and completely raw, with so many emotions and fears suddenly exposed that he doesn’t quite know what to do with them. I wanted to wrap this man in a giant mom hug and tell him that I saw him and that I was so proud of him, which is particularly impressive considering how nervous I was that I wouldn’t like him at the beginning. Talk about a redemption arc!

Ari and Theorore’s first time is the best and most beautiful I’ve ever read. I was crying by the end. What made it so extraordinary had almost nothing to do with the physical act itself and everything to do with what was happening emotionally. The slow burn had truly earned this moment. Theodore was finally allowing himself to be completely vulnerable, while Ari was experiencing physical intimacy for the very first time. The way Theodore slowed down, not just for Ari but for himself, was so important. His attention to every tiny change in Ari’s expression, his breathing, the little sounds he was making, his body language, and the look in his eyes made the entire scene feel incredibly intimate. There was so much trust, tenderness, fear, desire, and emotional exposure packed into those moments. Theodore’s voice cracking, his tears, asking Ari to stay, and Ari making that promise reduced me to a puddle on the floor. It felt like the first time for both of them in every sense that mattered.

That emotional intimacy, delicate and intricate, yet nearly unbreakable like the silk of a spider’s web, is what makes their connection so powerful throughout the entire book. Theodore has historically struggled to communicate through words, and at times, his body becomes the only language he can actually use to express what he can’t say: desire, fear, affection, vulnerability, and the desperate need to be seen and wanted. For Ari, physical intimacy has never existed separately from the emotional connection he’s always longed for. He has no other frame of reference, no past experiences to draw from; there’s only this person, this connection, every minute touch carrying the weight of something entirely new. The tension between them almost (or maybe it does) becomes too much to bear. This whole scene is so well written and so powerful that I genuinely forgot to breathe more than once.

Along with this intensity, I also loved the humor woven throughout the heavier material, Theodore’s increasingly desperate “oh f*ck no” moments, the evolving chapter titles, Mara’s busybody wisdom, Skye’s fierce loyalty, and sweet little Sam. I would also be remiss if I didn’t mention one of my favorite plot points/tropes! When sweet, usually passive, people-pleasing Ari reaches his limit and stands up for Theodore, I was 100% there for it! I just love these moments when someone sees the person they love being mistreated and simply decides, “No. This ends now.” It’s even better when that protector is someone like Ari.

Finally, I found the ending to be deeply satisfying, especially because it didn’t try to force redemption where redemption wasn’t deserved. I really, truly appreciated that. This reflected reality for so many people, especially in this community. Forgiveness and reconnection aren’t always possible, and they aren’t always healthy.

Color of Surrender made me laugh, ache, and cry, but more than anything, it made me fall completely head over heels in love with two beautifully complicated men. Their journey toward each other was every bit as important as where they ultimately ended up, and I loved every step of it. By the end, I wasn’t just rooting for their happily ever after – I believed in it. Infinity Stars! ❤️

[Fee_Reads_Fiction · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have loved all the books in this series but this one is probably my favourite yet.
Todd is an a*hole, there is absolutely no denying it. Theodore, however is adorable. So kind and caring and just craves to be loved. Ari is an absolute sweetheart. He thinks he can't read people but he sees through the whole Todd act and falls for the beautiful man that is hiding underneath.

We get a little of everything in this one- enemies to lovers, work-mates to lovers, forced proximity, fake dating, grumpy/sunshine. Choose your favourite trope- they're all there but they all make sense to the story.

I loved how we knew what we were getting from each chapter by the title and by reading them you watched Todd's spiral. He definitely loved Ari hard from early on, he just needed to learn to love himself too.

Ari was impossible not to love. Sweet, shy was the greenest of green flags. Despite his social anxieties he was so strong when he needed to be for Theodore.

This is just a beautiful, relatively low angst read. Another wonderful romance from Lucia.

[QueerPageTurner · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was my first book by this author, and the story grew on me as it unfolded.

Ari is the sweetest, most anxious muffin. He's a 32-year-old virgin who is beloved by his family and friends, but feels hopeless in the love department. When he's dragged out for his birthday by his friends to a gay bar, he meets Todd, a smarmy, over-confident dude looking for a meaningless hook-up. When the two do NOT hit it off (Ari is an excellent judge of character), they part ways on poor terms.

As fate would have it, the two end up in forced proximity, and then even more distressing, in a fake dating situation, which forces them to get to know each other with some major ruptures and hurt along the way.

Ari is insecure and inexperienced, so his lack of confidence tends to get in his way. Todd/Theodore has been hurt deeply in the past and shut himself off from any kind of vulnerability or care. Miscommunication is inevitable with these two and their wounds.

I really disliked Todd in the beginning (as you're meant to), but it was almost too unpleasant being with his inner world. The primary critique I have is that italics are overused for emphasis, which sometimes interrupted the flow of how a sentence read. I kept trying to ignore the italics to improve the experience, though it was a bit difficult to immerse myself in the story at times.

Once Theodore and Ari start actually building something real (around the 50% mark), the story transformed into something I really enjoyed and wanted to savor. That's when it became a book I couldn't put down.

There are deep themes of attachment trauma, self-protective coping that isolates, learning how to communicate bravely, facing your worst fears, and feeling accepted for who you are as you are - those things I loved and wanted more of.

Ari and Theodore's relationship blossoms beautifully as they grow and learn to trust themselves and each other. The epilogues are satisfying and heartwarming, plus you get little peeks into the other couples from prior books in the series. I cannot wait for Skye's story in the next book - as Ari's best friend, Skye plays an important role in the book and was so endearing.

Yummy spice, especially as everything is a first for Ari, and lots of it which I enjoyed quite a bit. Those two definitely can't resist having their hands and mouths all over each other at many points. *naughty grin*

Overall, it was a fun read, and I loved where it ended up despite a bit of a rocky start.

[Cara · Rating 5 out of 5]

Color of Surrender is the third book in the series.

It´s a enemies(ish) to lovers, between two men deeply affected by past trauma, but who have two different ways of showing it.

Ari is a “green flag”; he suffers from anxiety, but he’s deeply empathetic toward others. No matter how you treat him, if you need him, he’ll be there for you.

Todd appears in Ari’s life one night at a club after a flirtation that goes nowhere, because Todd treats Ari like a consolation prize when he’s actually the best man he could ever find. They run into each other again at work, as colleagues on the same project and in the same office. At first, I didn’t like Todd, but that was because I didn’t know him. He’s carrying a heavy burden—such deep emotional trauma that he’s emotionally detached from everything. Until Ari’s presence “forces” him to reconnect with his feelings. That’s when the facade crumbles and the character I like emerges.

I loved the book and can’t wait to read the next one.

[Jennifer · Rating 4 out of 5]

Interesting plot and enjoyably written. And no AI! The first half to 3/4 of this book was fantastic, and the last part was also good but overly repetitive and missed a couple opportunities for bigger character development. I loved the neurodivergent rep but it also felt a little impersonal in a way like the author maybe didn’t have firsthand experience with it. Side characters were 2 dimensional. Overall a fun read.

[Gem McGuire · Rating 5 out of 5]

Tropes
🖤Neurospicy
🖤Hurt Comfort
🖤Slow Burn
🖤Opposites attract

Going to preface this with a warning that I am a bad person and don't always read books in order, so this was actually the first Lucia Laurence book I read even though it is the third in the series. I wasn't lost in it, but I will be going back and reading the others now.

This book was an odd one for me. Todd is a really unlikeable character, and every part of me wanted something better for Ari for most of the book. Like, if a friend of mine was dating Todd, I would 1000% put him in the bin he is a walking red flag. However, Theodore is adorable and is so sweet and protective of Ari that you can't help but love him.

Ari is really a sweet baby angel of a person, and every part of me wanted to protect him. The fact that Theodore doesn't try to "FIX" Ari or even comment on the fact that he is not neurotypical was amazing. Even when he was being Todd, he did not use this as a button to hurt him. I am also neurospicy, so this was a really nice contrast to what normally happens with red-flag people. Even at Peak Todd, he did not go there.

Ari is a really strong character; he stands up for himself with Todd right from the first interaction. He shows Todd how to find his way back to Theodore and how to love without having to put up a wall. The ending of this book was everything I wanted.

[Holly Deacon · Rating 5 out of 5]

Todd Lancaster is exactly the kind of man who thinks he has everything figured out. He’s successful, confident, independent, and very deliberately alone. He likes being in control, he likes having the upper hand, and most importantly, he likes never giving anyone enough of himself to have the chance to hurt him.

Then Ari Lopez walks into his life and completely screws up the plan. 😂

Ari is basically Todd’s complete opposite. He’s quiet, organised, rule-following, sweet, a little snarky, and living a life built around routines and safety. He’s also convinced himself that romance isn't really something meant for him. He can admire it from a distance, but actually being loved? Being chosen? That feels like something that happens to other people.

I absolutely loved watching these two circle each other because Todd starts off thinking Ari will be nothing more than an entertaining distraction. He deliberately pushes his buttons, teases him, tries to get reactions out of him, and cannot understand why this seemingly straight-laced, predictable man has suddenly become the most interesting person in the room.

Except Todd's little game starts becoming a problem when he realises he actually cares.
And watching that happen was EVERYTHING.

Todd's emotional journey was probably my favourite part of this book. Beneath all that arrogance and confidence is a man who has built an entire life around not needing anyone.

And Ari's journey hit me just as hard. He's spent so long accepting that love and being wanted aren't really for him that when Todd starts showing him another possibility, it takes time for Ari to believe it. There was something incredibly emotional about watching him slowly realise that he doesn't have to settle for being the safe, convenient option. He deserves someone who actively chooses him.

And then eventually choosing each other? Yeah. That got me. 🥹

Their fake relationship was such a fun way to force them together because obviously neither of them was going to admit what was happening without a little help. What starts as an arrangement with rules and boundaries gradually becomes something neither man can keep pretending is fake.

The best part is watching those boundaries disappear....
The teasing becomes genuine concern.
The attraction becomes attachment.
The possessiveness becomes impossible to disguise.
And eventually, pretending they're together becomes a whole lot harder than simply admitting they actually want to be.

There are plenty of moments that made me smile, plenty of banter, plenty of tension, and definitely enough possessive/protective Todd moments to keep me very happy. 😂❤️‍🔥 But there are also moments where the walls come down and you get to see just how much these two actually need each other.

And that's what made this more than just a hot fake-dating romance for me.
It's about two men who have both convinced themselves they don't need more. One because he's terrified of being hurt. The other because he's convinced he'll never be wanted. And somehow, they become exactly what the other person needs.

And Todd and Ari absolutely stole my heart. ❤️

So looking forward to what's next!!!

[Amanda Winter · Rating 5 out of 5]

WOW, I loved this one! Lucia Laurence has delivered another emotional, beautifully written romance with complex characters, incredible chemistry, and plenty of humour to balance out the angst.

Ari is an anxious, painfully insecure sweetheart, while Todd is an absolute asshole who had me screaming at Ari to RUN because he deserved so much better!

But watching Todd slowly unravel as Ari breaks through his carefully constructed walls was EVERYTHING. The more we learn about the person hiding beneath Todd’s tough exterior, the more you understand him. His character development was fantastic, and seeing him learn to be vulnerable and accept love had me completely invested.

The fake dating, slow burn, and delicious tension were SO good, and Todd calling Ari “sweetheart”? SWOON! I loved watching these two find their way to each other and realise they deserved so much more than they ever believed possible.

Emotional, funny, angsty, and full of heart. I laughed, I ached, and I completely fell in love with these two. And that HEA? EVERYTHING!

Tropes:
Enemies to Lovers
Workplace Romance
Fake Dating
Slow Burn
Hurt/Comfort
Trauma & Healing
Grumpy x Sunshine
Emotional Walls
Redemption Arc
HEA

[SJ · Rating 5 out of 5]

First of all, I absolutely loved this book! I was almost immediately invested in these guys as we got introduced to them in the first two chapters. I wanted to throttle Todd, aka not Theodore, and keep Ari safely tucked away. As their cringe and not so meet-cute progresses, the deuchier Todd got.
Despite their first interactions, the more I got to know them, the more I was rooting for them both.

This book had just the right mix of fun/light-hearted and emotional heartache. The spice was definitely spicing after all the build-up and the verbal sparring that had me laughing out loud. The tension between Todd, aka Theodore and Ari, was so thick, and the mutual pining had me grinning from ear to ear. Their fake dating situation was so freaking good, as was the redemption arc, I ate it up.

Absolutely 1000% recommend. It was such a great time.

Tropes:
Fake dating
Workplace
Opposites attract
Forced proximity
One bed
Enemies(ish)-to-lovers
Virgin
Protective/Possessive MC
Slow-burn/High heat
Anxiety rep
Touch starved
Dual POV

Check TW

Thank you, GRR and Lucia Laurence, for the opportunity to read this book.

[bookygirl · Rating 5 out of 5]

I swear every book in this series just keeps getting better!

Color of Surrender is the third book in Lucia Laurence's Colors of Us series. Though there are brief references/light connections between the stories, each book truly does work as a standalone.

Color of Surrender follows self-proclaimed a**hole Todd, who is the perfect example of the old adage "hurt people hurt people". After being deeply betrayed by his previous boyfriend years ago, and enduring years of emotional abuse from his self-absorbed parents, Theodore turned himself to "Todd", swearing to never be hurt again. I think anyone who has ever been hurt because they were "too soft" can empathize deeply with the desire to harden yourself - if you reject everyone before they can reject you, then you can't get hurt, right? This approach has worked for Todd for years, until he meets Ari.

Deeply introverted, Ari is Todd's perfect foil. Seeing the connection grow between the two, the frustrating attraction both try to fight, and the final acceptance of their feelings is organic and beautiful. I felt so much for both throughout the story, and adored the mutual hurt/comfort they provide. Despite being a lengthy book, the story just flew by, and I would have happily read hundreds of pages more of these two.

Another stellar romance by Lucia Laurence! Can't wait for the next book!

[SNik · Rating 5 out of 5]

Third in series (Colors of Us), but can be read as a standalone. Adversarial to lovers. Coworkers. Opposites attract. Fake dating. Hurt/comfort. Slow burn. Dual POV. Heed content warnings.

Todd/Theodore tries hitting on Ari while at a bar and gets turned down, but now they are coworkers sharing an office and he can’t help wantung to get under Ari’s skin. However, everything about how awful he acts confuses Ari when he sees bits of the real Theodore peek through which he knows he can’t trust.

Gosh, get ready to really dislike Todd/Theodore. The awful behavior and thoughts are an armor, but it takes a long while for Theodore to get his act together. Meanwhile, he can’t help falling for Ari and finds himself wanting to change and protect Ari - even from himself. Ari is a terrific character, successful and intelligent and tries very hard to manage his own expectations as he has his own struggles, but he can’t help but wish for something more with Theodore even as he is disappointed over and over again. The writing in this is beautiful, the anguish each character feels was heartbreaking at times, and when things got spicy they were beyond steamy. A terrific read, with a couple deserving of happiness, and how hard they work to get there was emotional.

[Regina Marie Hatley · Rating 5 out of 5]

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ | 🌶️🌶️🌶️. 5

There is something soooo sweet about “only soft for him” and Theodore was exactly that when it came to Ari. Theodore or Todd as he went by was an as*hole and he took pride in that, until Ari… although this was a slow burn I would say slow emotional burn because these two definitely had the chemistry and tension right away. Now, the emotional slow burn tugged on my heartstrings because just when you thought all of the walls had come down BOOM you had to slam on the breaks before crashing, you got little byt little but once Theodore let go of Todd ooooooooh victory was soooo sweet. Because sweet sweet Ari deserved Theodore and Todd could be for everyone else. And I think that’s the part that made me laugh and feel giddy because Theordore knew thatbonly his Ari, his sweetheart would hett this side of him but not before they both put one another through an emotional roller coaster.

[Lu · Rating 5 out of 5]

I knew I was going to love this book regardless but Lucia had be straight up crying and refusing to go to bed until I finished it

I thought these characters were so well written. If anyone has been with Lucia for the other two books you know that Todd is an ass. He's not likeable. But him having his own story and struggling with himself and his identity you cannot help but fall for him.

The chemistry between him and Ari, the push and pull. It was magical. Real enemies to wtf to lovers. Also I do love an oblivious idiots to lovers trope.

You should all read this book. Devoured, no notes

[Ashley · Rating 4 out of 5]

A SWIRL OF WONDERFUL WORDS PUT INTO A STORY.

I like how this author writes and creates! I like the characters and the emotions they wrought from me. Good read! This is an ARC review.

[theshadyivy]

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ 🫦🫦🫦

Oh this story. 🥺🖤

Sweet and soft and warm — and at the same time absolutely full of emotional battles raging quietly inside both MMCs. The contrast is everything.

This is the story of Todd — or Theodore, depending on which version of himself he is willing to show you — and Ari, two characters who appear to be complete opposites on the surface and yet are, deep down, achingly similar. 💙

Ari is a snarky, brilliant nerd who made peace early with the idea that his issues meant certain things simply weren’t meant for him. That some doors were just... not his to walk through. And then he runs into Todd again after a brief bar encounter and everything shifts. 👀

Todd works very hard to live up to his self-proclaimed assholery. He has built that persona brick by brick and he wears it like armour. 😏 But Theodore is still in there — quieter, softer, more real — and when Ari, aka Squarespace, needs a favour, the walls start coming down. One crack at a time. 🥺

The banter between them is razor sharp and completely irresistible. And watching an MMC fight his own softness because he genuinely believes it makes him weak? That wrecked me in the best possible way. 😮‍💨🖤

I love everything Lucia writes and this one is no exception. Go read it if you love slow burn tension that makes you want to shake the characters and kiss them at the same time, hidden softness underneath layers of carefully constructed walls, and a love story that sneaks up on you before you even realise it’s happening. 🖤✨

📊 Virgin
📊 Slow Burn
📊 Mental Health Rep
📊 Past Trauma
📊 Stuttering MMC
📊 Fake Dating
📊 Verse MMCs, Frotting, Handjob, BJ

147/26

[Bree Vass · Rating 5 out of 5]

Oh my gosh.... I don't know where to start. 🖤🖤🖤
I think I said this with Book 2 as well, when I thought after reading Tristan & Jesse's story (👀👀). I didn't know how a couple could possibly be portrayed as well...but yet again, Lucia had to prove me wrong. 😂😅

The way Theodore/Todd and Ari wiggled their way into my soul is utterly unfair. If you're reading this a few chapters in, trust the process because that redemption arc is so worth it. Also, I'm a straight up miscommunication trope, hater, but I've never read it so beautifully constructed. 🤌🏽🤌🏽

🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

[Michelle Exploringwithchapters · Rating 5 out of 5]

TODD. TODD. THEODORE. We need to talk. You drove me a bit crazy for a good portion of this book. I get it though, and that chapter made me cry a bit. ARI is perfect - SO GLAD you were able to take the blindfold off and your head out of, well your own ass. These two made a perfect book 3. I am so glad Theodore got his HEA. Loved the cameo from Color of Sunshine. AND LETS GO! I will take book 4 like NOW. I think this one is going to be HOT! A little miscommunication in this one, but we did have a guarded reserved self proclaimed ass hole dating a first time 31 year old virgin. Shit happens.

[Heather O'Dell · Rating 5 out of 5]

Color of Surrender is book three in Lucia Laurence’s Colors of Us series. And what an amazing series it is! This book focuses on Todd, the obnoxious cousin of characters from Color of Sunshine and Color of Home.

Todd is an arrogant jerk, and he knows it. He built his personality from scratch to make sure he never got hurt by anyone, and frankly, he is proud of it. He considers himself average, not much to look at, but knows he can use his body to get a man for a quickie whenever he wants, and then be left alone as he wishes.

Ari is a shy guy with tremendous anxiety and a stutter that comes out strong when he is especially anxious. He has come to believe that love is for other people; he’s never allowed himself to try to have a deeper connection than friendship. His anxiety gets in the way and he is ashamed of his stutter. Ari’s mom worries for him and constantly tries to set him up on dates.

One day, Todd is out at a bar and sees what he considers “limited options” for a good time. In walk two gorgeous guys who are clearly a couple, and a friend who looks miserable! Instantly, Todd names him Captain Buzzkill. That’s sweet Ari, whose best friend Skye decided that Ari needed to get out and let loose for his birthday.

When Todd sees no better option, and kind of thinks Captain Buzzkill is not all that bad, he approaches. Ari sees this impossibly hot man coming to hit on him and doesn’t know what to do! Things don’t go well.

Ari is at work some time later and finds the extra desk in his office set up. his new office mate is none other than Todd! And Todd is loving watching Ari squirm. After all, Ari did turn him down at that bar.

But why can’t Todd take his eyes off Captain Buzzkill, who he now calls Squarespace, because he’s such a square. And why does he care what Ari thinks of him?

And when Ari’s mom tries to set him up on yet another blind date, he blurts out that he already has a boyfriend and that his name is Todd! Fake dating ensues, and the sexual tension is intense! And suddenly Todd doesn’t want to be such a jerk toward Ari.

I was ready to keep hating Todd, but he was redeemed. There is a hard-earned happily ever after here, but it takes time. And we get to see characters from the first two books coming back, as this book’s timeline overlaps the others, so we get some context around what happened in the other books, but from Todd’s perspective.

I highly recommend all three books in this series:
Color of Sunshine, Color of Home, and Color of Surrender. And I am so pleased to know that more stories in the series are coming!

[Jessica · Rating 5 out of 5]

I stayed up until midnight in the first sitting with this one, made it all the way to 70%. Loved the pining, the will they won't they, wanted to punch Todd in the face...and Ari, sweet, innocent Ari. I wanted him to be loved so badly and I was really hoping Theodore would come to be the man I knew he could be, I'm so glad I was right. Such a lovely story of redemption for Todd. Really enjoyed this one and was so glad to ARC read again :)

[K.M. Trent · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’ll start off by saying I have deleted and rewritten this at least three times now because I keep turning it into an essay instead of a review. How can I say everything I loved about this book in one short review? There is simply SO much I love about it!

I’ll start off by saying how extremely honored I am to not only have the opportunity to alpha-read this book, but to beta-read it as well. (And I may have it tucked away in the part of my library I reserve for comfort re-reads because this, like all of Lucia’s books, is high up there!)

I loved Color of Surrender for the moments, the tension, and the character development. Watching Todd slowly break all of his rules. Watching Ari learn to stand up for himself. By the end of the book, they are both so much better than how they started, but still heavily flawed and human. Their romance doesn’t cure deep-rooted anxiety or decades of self-loathing, but it gives them both anchors to work on themselves and each other.

I don’t really know how to put everything I felt reading this book. The beginning is almost funny to read with Todd’s snarky inner monologues and his pick-me, attention-seeking behavior, while Ari does everything in his power to ignore him and his undeniable attraction to him.

The amount of tension between the MCs that neither of them knew how to handle. The barricades between Todd’s unwillingness to let them get closer and Ari’s misconceptions about Todd and his intentions. Going back to see everything that made Todd the person he is today, and watching him unravel it all. Breaking alongside him as he sheds piece after piece until he’s down to his rawest, most vulnerable state. Then the tension breaks, the barricades fall, and all that’s left is the two of them and their most fundamental need for each other.

It’s a book that will have you laughing and crying and scoffing with amusement at their ridiculousness, but it’ll also have you swooning in a way that Lucia is so good at getting people to swoon with the way we fall in love with her characters and the inevitable, undeniable way they fall. Like broken pieces glued back together in the most seamless, beautiful way.

If I have nothing else to say about this book, it’s simply that it’s my favorite that she’s written so far. Theodore made me laugh all the way up until he made me just want to hug him, and Ari reminds me so much of my favorite person that I couldn’t help but love him completely (and yes, that also means he’s my favorite of all of Lucia’s characters so far, and will most likely always be!)

Some of my favorite moments:

“His eyes aren’t brown like I’d assumed. And they don’t just seem big because of those Poindexter glasses.  Up close, really looking, I can tell. They’re just…big. Big and dark hazely-blue, surrounded by thick, black lashes. Slightly nervous, waayy expressive, f*ck me please eyes.”

“It depends on who’s asking.” I say it like it doesn’t matter.  F*ck but it matters.  “Only your uncle gets to call me Theodore.  To everyone else, I’m Todd.”

“And then he laughs.  He just f*cking laughs.  A harsh, biting scoff that cuts so deep, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to unhear it.”

“The splash of color against the washed-out beige of my paper bag of an office stops me short. Variegated deep ruby red and green so dark, it’s almost black. Large, thick, glossy leaves fanning out from a straight, sturdy stem. A ruby ficus, set front and center on my desk.”

“A sharp intake of breath on the other end of the call. A shifting rustle, like he’s sitting up in bed. “Theodore, wh-what’s wrong?” Everything. Me. “I need you.”

“That’s all I want, Theodore. I just want to be yours.” “You are mine, sweetheart.”

The most f*cking gorgeous, dark hazely-blue. It’s all there is outside the pleasure that seizes me. My forehead hits the wall in front of me, and my knees threaten to give out as his name breaks from me.

“When I’ve finished with my food, Theodore reaches for my empty box, stacking it neatly in his. A small blade of grass falls from it as he does, and I can’t help laughing again at the way he wrinkles up his nose, flicking it off the leg of his jeans as soon as he notices.
He looks up with a smirk I would once have found infuriating. Now, it only adds to the dizzy joy building in my chest. “You really think you and your ironing fetish have any room to talk, sweetheart?”

“Theodore doesn’t deserve this. And you don’t deserve him.” My voice trembles, but it’s all anger. Like that night in Theodore’s office, the night I still regret with my whole heart, there’s no hint of a stutter slowing my words. This time though, I know I mean them exactly as I’m saying them.”

I want to tell him how beautiful he is. How I can’t take my eyes off of his. Off the little crease that’s formed from the way his eyebrows are pulled together in pleasure. Off the soft, open-mouthed bow of his lips. There’s too much emotion choking me though. Filling me as completely as his hot, thick c*ck tunneling deep inside me. All I can manage is his name. Ari—

Softness mingles with the heat in his eyes, and, as always, I’m filled with gratitude. For him. For us. For the knowledge that he believes me.

[Mark F · Rating 4.75 out of 5]

My latest read was Color of Surrender, the third book in Colors of Us, an interconnected series by Lucia Laurence. I was fortunate enough to be given an ARC of this book, - Thank You, Lucia! - but this review is given voluntarily. This is the story of Ari “Squarespace” Lopez, a man in his early 30’s who’s just about ready to give up on the idea of ever being in a relationship and now finds himself in the position of having to share an office with the man who tried to hook up with him at a club just a couple of nights earlier. Angry that his advances were thwarted, this man, Theodore “Todd” Lancaster, a self-professed a-hole, tries to get under Ari’s skin every chance he gets. It was first meant to annoy him but morphed into something else. Eventually, Todd starts rethinking the lonely life he created, no longer wishing to be the man who avoids attachments and feelings, something he did due to being hurt in the past. Add to that a fake dating scheme to stop Ari’s mother from trying to set him up, yet again, and things change - feelings, dynamics, the work environment, and eventually both their lives. In the best way possible.

I like to get the negatives out of the way first so that my reviews could end on a positive note. Happily, there’s just one slight negative, and it’s nothing strong enough to have an impact on my rating of this book. It’s the overuse of the word “mine”. I get it, Todd is overly possessive, but the use of that word could have been less and still made the point. One other note, while I found the book’s cover to be nice enough, I’d much rather have the character art that the author has shared on social media as the cover. Just my preference, and it has no bearing on my rating of the book.

As for the characters themselves, they were so wonderfully written that I couldn’t help but fall in love with them. The main characters will live rent free in my brain for a long while, and to me, that shows what a wonderful impact this story had on me. In the end, they were just too sweet for words. Ari, patient, kind, and loving, with his quirky, caring, supportive nature, who really was the driving force in helping Todd to see what life he could have if he only tried to understand that he deserved it. I teared up several times for Todd, who built up such strong walls to protect himself from ever being hurt again, too easily giving in to his self-deprecating, self-doubting behavior. And yet, he was open to change once he saw what kind of life he could have with Ari. When he eventually started to let the walls crumble, he revealed himself as such a loyal, caring, protective, very attentive, loving man. The road wasn’t easy, but so worth the trip. The banter and humor of both their personalities helped soften the tough parts of the story, giving me quite a few laughs. And I truly appreciate how both Theodore and Ari put in the effort to recognize when self-sabotaging behavior was rearing its ugly head, and would stop their inner dialogue before spiraling. This showed they were serious about each other and dedicated to becoming the best versions of themselves in order to strengthen their relationship.

The other characters were well-written as well, with shout outs to Skye, Mara, Sofia, Marco, and Sam, for all their love, acceptance, and support. But as for Theodore’s parents, nobody needs nor deserves people like that in their lives.

Regarding the spice level, all I can say is it was HOT, so hot in fact that it just tripled the effects of global warming. So hot, it melted the snow that hasn’t even fallen yet. So hot, my kindle was glowing red. So hot, I may need to use the air conditioning throughout the winter. So hot, I had to wear sunscreen while reading…at night! You get what I’m trying to say? Seriously, it was hot, and I’m not complaining because it showed how the physical acts blended so well with the emotional aspect of their relationship as a couple.

If you couldn’t already tell, I loved this book. The storyline, the characters, and the love, they all came together so beautifully, leading to such a sweet HEA. All that taken into account, I give this a 9.5 out of 10, rounded to a 4.75 for a 1-5 scale. And now I look forward to reading the previous books in this series, as well as the upcoming ones.

“I liked the pretty ones best, but I hated leaving the sad ones that no one wanted by themselves.” – Theodore, talking about his plants. To me, this statement says so much.

[Karen Moreno · Rating 4 out of 5]

Color of Surrender by Lucia Laurence is a character-driven romance that explores vulnerability, trust, and the courage it takes to let someone see beyond the version of yourself you present to the world.


Theodore (Todd) and Ari Lopez make for an intriguing pairing. Theodore’s sharp tongue, arrogance, and abrasive attitude make him difficult to warm up to initially, while Ari is quieter, more reserved, and most comfortable when he can lose himself in his work. Their contrasting personalities create an interesting dynamic, particularly as it becomes clear that neither man is quite as straightforward as he first appears.


One of my favorite aspects of the book is the contrast between Theodore’s outward confidence and his internal struggles. His thoughts often reveal a vulnerability that his behavior attempts to conceal, making him a more layered character than his first impression suggests. Ari is equally compelling in his own way. His intelligence, professional competence, and loyalty ensure that his stutter is only one part of his characterization, rather than the defining feature of who he is.


The romance is a slow burn, with physical attraction developing more quickly than emotional intimacy. I enjoyed watching their connection take shape through workplace interactions, moments of tension, and the gradual loosening of their defenses. Their dual points of view are particularly effective here, revealing how differently they interpret their interactions and how easily insecurity can complicate an emerging relationship. At times, I wanted them to stop overthinking and communicate more honestly, but their hesitation felt consistent with their individual struggles.


Laurence’s writing works best when emotion emerges through internal narration and small shifts in the characters’ behavior. The prose gives readers plenty of insight into both men, although the pacing occasionally suffers from repetitive internal monologues. Some feelings and insecurities are revisited after their significance is already clear, and tighter editing could have made the emotional beats more impactful without sacrificing the introspective style.


The explicit content complements the romantic tension, but the relationship’s strongest element is the gradual movement toward emotional openness. Beneath the attraction is a more meaningful question: what happens when the defenses that once protected you begin to prevent you from experiencing the connection you want?


Overall, Color of Surrender delivers an introspective, opposites-attract romance with compelling character contrasts, workplace tension, dual POVs, and spice. Although I would have preferred a tighter pace in places, I remained invested in Theodore and Ari’s developing relationship. Readers who enjoy romances that prioritize internal conflict and gradual emotional connection over an immediately established partnership will likely appreciate this one.


For me, the heart of the story lies in the idea that surrender isn't necessarily about losing control. Sometimes, it means finding the courage to stop hiding and allow yourself to be truly known.

[Isabelle Nachtsheim · Rating 4 out of 5]

I went in thinking I’d get an easy, workplace/forced-proximity/fake-dating MM romance. What I actually got was all those tropes plus complex and compelling MCs and realistic mental health rep. Theodore and Ari were both endearing in their own ways and seeing their relationship develop along with their own personal growth was so heartwarming. I thoroughly enjoyed this book. It was emotional without getting overly heavy and romantic without getting cheesy. A great balance and a great read. And we love some inexperienced MC spice.
Rating: 4 stars
Spice: 2.5 chili peppers

What I loved:
-I couldn’t necessarily explain why, but the mental health rep in this book just felt more authentic compared to other books. Maybe it’s because the growth took actual time and didn’t just immediately happen because they met their love interest. Maybe it’s because the characters’ experiences were consistent and not just one quick panic attack that lasts for a few minutes and then everyone moves on. Whatever the reason, I appreciate it.
-An MC who actually is kind of an asshole, but you understand why, and he grows from it instead of just being an irredeemable jerk all the time
-Actually cute pet names. Sometimes pet names give me the ick, but I liked these ones.

What didn’t work so well for me:
-This is pretty niche and probably won’t bother people as much as it got to me, but the use of italics for word emphasis felt a bit excessive. Whenever I read passages that utilize italics like this, I have to reread the sentence or read it extra slowly so I can make sure I’ve got the emphasis correct in my head, and I felt like I was doing it frequently enough that it kind of distracted me from the story.

Thank you to the author, Lucia Laurence for my ARC ✨ this review is entirely my own opinion.


SPOILER OPINIONS BELOW






-Particularly at the beginning of the book, I liked Theodore’s occasional break-the-fourth-wall narration
-Theodore expresses some body image issues but this doesn’t really get addressed? Like there’s a few scenes where Ari calls Theodore beautiful or attractive, but Theodore always seems to deny it or feel uncomfortable. There’s no moment of acceptance or even of Ari fully describing to Theodore what he finds attractive.
-Maybe this is a hot take, but I think Ari should’ve told Theodore he was a virgin before they had sex. It wouldn’t necessarily change anything, but I think a partner should be able to make their own decisions regarding taking someone’s virginity? Losing one’s virginity is seen as a big step for most people and to be the person to take away someone’s virginity can thusly be seen as a big responsibility and some people might not want that responsibility. It might also change conversations around boundaries if there’s a notable difference in experience levels (like in this case).
-This is also maybe a hot take, but I just felt a twinge of discomfort when Theodore called Ari during his breakdown. I’m glad Theodore reached out to someone when he needed it, and I always think it’s better to reach out than feel isolated during a crisis, HOWEVER Ari and Theodore weren’t an established couple at this point and Theodore’s perception of Ari was that he was just a good guy who wasn’t interested in him and was in fact upset with him. While this was of course false, if Ari had truly wanted no relationship with Theodore and just wanted to meet up to make amends and that’s it, Theodore’s call for help would’ve gone very differently and both characters would’ve been set up to fail. It kind of felt like one of those situations where an MC does something outrageous (e.g., stalking) and it’s only seen as attractive because the other MC was into them, otherwise it would’ve been creepy or uncomfortable. This is obviously NOT the same, but I’m just trying to get at the general vibe - like the situation only worked out well because they had feelings for each other.

[Rambling Reader · Rating 5 out of 5]

I see you shiver with...





anticipation.

That line no longer solely belongs to The Rocky Horror Picture Show. In Color of Surrender, anticipation and that delightful, delicious, maddening tension just oozed out of the pages. These boys have both got some baggage, and let's just say that in between the banter and teasing, there are a lot of insecurities that rear their heads and plenty of miscommunications to keep lovers of that trope drooling.

TheodoreTodd was a master class in just how very much you can want to both slap and hug someone at the same d@mn time.

In case you need an example, I present exhibit A:

"Being an @$$hole is fü©king lonely, but I’d rather be a lonely @$$hole than an easy-to-hurt pushover, wearing his heart on his sleeve to get trampled over until there’s nothing left."

Right from the very start, his internals scream sad boy even though the outside screams fü©kboy. The facade he presents to the world is the exact mask that makes us want to scream and protect all our dear sweet boys from his very existence, but nooooooooo. Laurence had to go and give us his POV so that we could understand "Todd" is all just a defense mechanism.

Despite not expecting to, I ended up liking Todd because once you understand why he's pushed Theodore aside, you want to protect him too.

Exhibit B:

"If you never hope for anything from anyone, you never give them the power to hurt you. If you armor yourself with enough I-don’t-give-a-d@mns, no one ever lets you down because they never mattered in the first place."

See? How can we resist the inner broken boy? And when he feels safe and validated enough to be ToddTheodore, he's nothing but a lovable, possessive, needy love bug.

Now, to love Ari, on the other hand, needed no convincing. Our completely inexperienced, woefully unprepared for all the Toddness that's coming his way, quiet boy just reads as a sweetheart from the very beginning. He's good to his friends, loves his family, and is just trying to make it through the world despite his anxieties.

Even though it seems like the last thing he needs, ToddTheodore is perfect for him. The two balance each other out and draw each other out in the best ways. Even when Ari's dealing with TheodoreTodd, despite the insecurities it can stir up, it also lights a fire within him.

The only *slight* drawback for me was that these boys are... well... terrible at expressing themselves to each other. On the plus side, that ratchets up the tension and also keeps the drama brewing, but sometimes I'm not in the mood for the miscommunication trope. In this case, I was, though, so it did not detract at all from my enjoyment of the story, and, having read Laurence's other books, I figured at least one of them would have some trouble sharing all his inner ooey-gooey feelings.

Overall, I think Ari and ToddTheodore's book is my favorite so far, and I loved how Laurence closed out their story. She took the time to give the boys their happily ever after as well as a chance to show us that TheodoreTodd was going to get his too.

[Sandra · Rating 4 out of 5]

ARC Review

Ari Lopez completely stole my heart. 💚 He is anxious, struggles with his self-esteem, and sometimes stutters, making it difficult for him to believe that someone like Theodore could genuinely want him. Beneath his quiet, carefully ordered life, there is a man who longs for more but has almost convinced himself that love isn't meant for him. I just wanted him to see himself the way others could see him.

And then there is Theodore Lancaster… or Todd.

Todd is arrogant, sharp-tongued, and very much an asshole. But as we learn more about his past, it becomes clear that this version of himself is also a form of protection. After being bullied when he was younger, Theodore created Todd as a shield, someone who could hurt others before they had the chance to hurt him. It made me understand why he became this way, even if it didn't make his behavior any less frustrating.

The little moments between Ari and Theodore were some of my favorites. Whenever Theodore's walls came down and we got a glimpse of the man beneath Todd's carefully constructed persona, it felt like being in a garden at sunrise. Everything was tranquil, sweet, and soft. Those moments made me want to sigh and just stay there with them. 🥹

But then Todd would make an appearance again, putting his walls back up and destroying the progress Theodore and Ari had made. I just wanted to shake him and scream, Why are you doing this to yourself? And to Ari? It was so frustrating to watch him push away the very thing he was longing for.

Honestly, Todd was the character I struggled with the most. I understood why he had built this protective persona, but that didn't make it easier for me to connect with him. Seeing Theodore take steps towards vulnerability only to retreat into Todd again made their journey a little difficult for me at times.

Still, I really enjoyed the chemistry between these two, the fake-dating setup, and those softer moments when Theodore allowed himself to be vulnerable. The contrast between his two sides added an interesting layer to the story, and I was rooting for him to finally let go of his defenses and give Ari the love he deserved.

Overall, Color of Surrender was an enjoyable MM romance filled with tension, sweetness, emotional vulnerability, and a journey towards learning to trust someone with your heart.

4 stars from me! ⭐⭐⭐⭐

[Claudia Trevino · Rating 3.5 out of 5]

I could not wait to finish this book to get to this part! I do not always write reviews and when I do they are mostly only ever if I enjoy a book a lot! I think besides this one I’ve only talked about my disappointment in a book one other time? Anyway this book did not make me feel disappointed , what it did make me feel was dislike towards one of the mmc’s. Theodore/Todd, the author clearly wanted to make this mmc an asshole as that is stated many times and well he really was an asshole! So maybe that is not a bad thing because she accomplished writing him as one. I tried reading this book about a month ago and stopped after chapter one because this mmc’s first interaction with Ari the other mmc made me feel uncomfortable. I kept seeing other people recommending it so I picked up again. I had read the first book in this series and I enjoyed it so I said okay why not try again? Anyway I did not get enjoy this book until the 60ish % mark but even then I kept finding reasons to stop and do other things. I know maybe I should have dnf’d it but I wanted to like Todd/Theodore I wanted to feel differently and I did like some aspects of their relationship with Ari which is why I am rating this book 3.50, but I can’t remember if I have ever truly disliked an mmc before to the extent of this one. It wasn’t just how he was with Ari but also towards others. He was mean just for the sake of being mean and because he wanted to feel better? Ari would annoy me sometimes but I don’t really fault him because well if the man I liked was an asshole then maybe I would also react the way he did? Also one thing I struggled with was how long the authors sentences were, it was like the author was trying to fit so much information into one sentence. I don’t recall if this was the case with the other book I read from them. Maybe this is just a me problem but I often had to read a sentence multiple times to understand what was being said.

I feel a bit bad about writing this but I was very frustrated. Not everyone will feel how I feel so this book might still be a positive experience for some people!