I Am Fartacus

I am Fartacus #1

by Mark Maciejewski

It’s jocks vs. nerds as a tween and his cadre of misfits go to hilarious lengths to bring down their enemies in this laugh-out-loud MAX novel.

Chub is a short, accidentally bald, middle school outcast with no chance of ever becoming one of the popular kids. With help from his personal band of like-minded misfits (not to mention tactics gleaned from the Colonel, a US military vet with toenail issues), Chub’s determined to bring down his nemesis, class hero and now potential class president, Archer, or the Arch—the very guy who betrayed Chub with the lice-killing potion that left him bald as a billiard ball. If the Arch gets to be president, Chub knows his life is officially over.

Chub’s got a lot of dirt on the Arch: embarrassing photos and underwear about to fly from the school flagpole, for starters. But then he discovers that there are some very dangerous skeletons in Archer’s closet, and more at stake than just a few middle school reputations.

With a lot of help from his friends, Chub sets off to bring down an evil empire—and inadvertently become the least likely hero that Alanmoore Middle School’s ever seen.

Genres: Humor, Middle Grade, Childrens, Realistic Fiction, School

Unknown Binding

First published April 18, 2017

Reviews

[David · Rating 5 out of 5]

You guys, this book. Remember when you were a male teenager and would buy Backstreet Boys stuff and claim it was for your sister, and you'd always stay up late with her to watch their new videos to be a good little brother? And you'd defend them because they were your sister's favorite band and their music was actually pretty good in an "I'm not out yet and it's crap that society unfairly but, in this case, accurately labels me gay because I crush on boy bands, but at this time and age, I'm so not gay" kind of way? Oh, no one else? Well don't worry, because anyone can enjoy this book and you don't have to pretend it's for the kid you don't have or the nephew who hates books and generally disappoints you. This story is hilarious, and the characters are so relatable and loveable. They are mostly sideline kids that didn't get a voice in grade school because you're a jerk, Darrell, and no one cares how far you can throw a football! Yeah, give the underdogs a platform and let them tear down the hostile pillars of grade school society with butt chowder and purple kangaroos! Let Fartacus reign!

[Karen Kline · Rating 5 out of 5]

Hang on to your toilet seats, middle school readers, this book is going to strike a loud, booming chord with many of you. Meet Chub an 11-year-old from an immigrant family who’s pretty sure his parents are gonna send him to live with his Polish uncle to dig potatoes if they find out about all the trouble he’s been causing at Alanmoore Middle School. It will all be worth it, though, if Chub can expose the school’s most popular jock-cum-student-body president for the traitor he is. Archer or “The Arch” (as in “arch nemesis,” get it?) has been on Chub’s most despised list since second grade when a hair-raising incident renders Chub bald. Quirky characters and situations abound in this prank-filled book with a plot that the target audience will relate to. There’s Chub’s friend Moby, who has a tendency to go missing at predictable times based on his daily bathroom rituals or when he’s expected to trim his grandfather’s toenails. And there’s Shelby, the vintage-sweater-wearing thespian who is determined to wedge herself into Chub’s cadre of calamity-creating ne’er-do-wells. Goofball bathroom language abounds that will keep some reluctant readers turning pages just to see what wince-worthy shenanigans happen next. Maciejewski is cooking up his next book in the series -- Electric Boogerloo-- for fans that can’t get enough.

[mindy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ok, so this was not supposed to be a deep thinker, just a bunch of fun. The basic premise is an unpopular boy named Chub is plotting revenge on his former best friend 'The Arch' who is (obviously) the most popular boy in school.

I mean, you already know this plot. It's nothing new. But what I love is the adult references. At one point, the principal is talking about TPS Reports and of course the middle school is Alanmoore Middle. I was giggling through the book.

This was such a nice break from all my thrillers and trashy romance

[Donna · Rating 5 out of 5]

I Am Fartacus has the elements of timeless Middle Grade humor that crosses over into one adults will love to read too. The main character Chub has "voice" that readers will both relate to and find completely entertaining in a laugh out loud way. Chubs "cadre" is filled with vivid characters with their own rich character arcs. Themes of acceptance of others, teamwork and forgiveness is not pounded into the reader, but delivered with humor and unique storyline.

[Allison · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is hilarious! The main character Chub's voice is unique and delightful, and the book is full of subtle and not-as-subtle references to pop culture that will make kids and adults smile, when they catch them. I also loved the complexity of the characters and plot - things aren't always what they seem, and I liked it that way.

[Daniel Chan · Rating 4 out of 5]

I loved it! The character interaction was amazing, and though I thought it was a little too fast, the plot was good! The only thing was, the author could have made the plans more complicated or complex.

[Patricia · Rating 5 out of 5]

A funny middle grade debut with a great cast of secondary characters. It's tough not to like this short, bald anti-hero and his Cadre of Evil.

[Beth · Rating 5 out of 5]

I got to read an ARC of this middle grade novel. Great humor, wonderful characters. Your kids will love it!

[Rob Vlock · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book had me laughing out loud more times than I can count. Chub, the main character, is just the kind of kid I wish I knew in 6th grade -- more likable than Greg from Diary of a Wimpy kid, funnier than Percy Jackson and balder than... well, just about any other 6th grader you know. Plenty of fart jokes to enjoy (even if you won't admit you enjoy them) but a very on-point message about how cruel the pursuit of popularity can be. I loved this book! Thanks, Mark Maciejewski! I may not be able to pronounce your last name, but I can't wait to read your next book!

[Margaret Boling · Rating 4 out of 5]

12/28/2017 ~~ Funny, especially for people who like pranks and fart humor (but the title says that, right!) Requires some suspension of disbelief, especially near the end when tweens are impersonating adults at the gaming tables. I appreciated the growth of Chub as he came to understand the rivalry between him and The Arch was unsustainable.

Note: I won a copy of this book from the author in a twitter give-away.

[GRACE A OMOLOYIN · Rating 5 out of 5]

Good read

This is a good book for elementary school student as well as adults. Moto - be nice, even to your enemies cause things aren't always what they seem to be from the outside.

[WKPL Children's/YA Books · Rating 5 out of 5]

Miss Lisa gives this book a 5 star rating for kids in 4th-8th grade.

[Lois Brandt · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a fun book! The plot is a page turner with unexpected surprises. Unique descriptive language without weighing down middle grade readers. Just the right amount of scatological humor. I also appreciate that Chub comes from an immigrant family that is struggling a bit financially. The difficulty kids have pronouncing Chub's given name, the conflict with the parents over old world/new world values, all feel authentic. Definitely on the gift list for the middle schoolers in my family.

[Maggie · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is awesome! Super funny. I love Chub and his cadre, especially the secondary characters of Moby and Shelby. It's a joy to read and I would recommend it to anyone who likes to laugh their butt off. It's perfect for middle school readers who are ready for a more complex plot with risks and challenges, but still like a happy ending.

[T. · Rating 5 out of 5]

Chub is the best bald middle school prankster of all time!

[Penelope Wright · Rating 4 out of 5]

It was a really funny book that I read out loud to my kids, and I really wanted it to be a five star review, but there were a few things that knocked off a star. First, I felt like the ending was rushed, with lots of unanswered questions left: are Chub's parents going to send him to Poland? Who is Mr. X? What's the deal with Mr. Mayer? Why wasn't he even playing in the poker tournament? It sort of felt like the author wrapped it up too quickly because he had to, like the publisher was all "I gave you 85,000 words, and not a single conjunction more." I also felt like there were too many reference that only an adult would get. On the first page, a phone book is referenced. My kids are 12 and 14 and they've never seen a phone book in their lives. I also had to explain to them what a Sizzler was. There were a few things like that. So, four stars it is.

[Annalee Schnebele · Rating 3 out of 5]

A story about middle school nemesises, a bald prankster, and all sorts of middle school foibles. As much fart and bowel movement jokes as one would expect for a book of this title, but a pretty fun and engaging story full of mysteries, plotting, and revenge.

Recommended for middle school students who are looking for a funny book about the underdog getting back at the bullies. Not quite as funny as I am a Genius of Unspeakable Evil, but a great funny book about those who are your friends and those who used to be.

[RG Halleck · Rating 5 out of 5]

BUY THIS BOOK FOR YOUR BOYS!!! (and a copy for yourself)
4th-7th grade boys need books. This is one. It’s daring, suspenseful, and LOL funny.
Best reviews below:
Donna (Sep 24, 2016)
Allison (Jan 14, 2017)
Karen Kline (Feb 23, 2017)
Rob Vlock (Apr 27, 2017).

[Hannah Foulger · Rating 3 out of 5]

Overall funny and sharply written. However, I did find a grammatical error and it had a fair amount of sexist humour.

[Séan Brazier · Rating 4 out of 5]

Kids thought it was really hilarious

[Michael · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good book, interesting characters, and very well described.

[Janene Keegan]

It was a cute book about true friendship, read it to my son.

[LeeAnn · Rating 4 out of 5]

This isn't groundbreaking, but it's a perfect kind of school story. Middleschoolers will love it, and so will their parents.

[Kristen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Patrick loved it!

[Wendy MacKnight · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ths book made me laugh out loud from the first line and never let go of my funny bone for the rest of the book! Maciek, AKA Chub, is in a battle of wits and pranks against his arch-nemesis (and former friend) Archer Norris. With the help of his friends Moby and Shelby, along with the rest of his cadre, can they put Arch in his place and restore balance to the school? Can the band of outcasts save the day? Hilariously funny, witty, and just plain fun, kids are going to gobble this up!

[Sally · Rating 5 out of 5]

I just loved the voice of this snarky, funny, self-deprecating, outrageous, perfectly potty-humored main character. He was so real and true, I still feel like I can hear his voice in my head. Actually, I think I knew him when I was eleven. His name was Clark and he lived down the street from me.... Like I said, "REAL!" Kids will relate. A fun read!

[Amanda Hosch · Rating 5 out of 5]

From the very first line this middle grade novel grabs your attention: "Once, in front of pretty much the whole school, Moby cut a fart so loud it sounded like a phone book being ripped in half." The jokes, pranks, and hilarious times at Alanmoore Middle School come courtesy of Chub and his cadre of evil villains as they get their revenge on Chub's nemesis The Arch, aka the most popular kid at school. Of course, their hijinks don't go exactly as planned. And perhaps Chub may not be the evil mastermind that he thinks he is, and well, The Arch, may not be that bad either. Or they may be! You'll have to read it to find out. Be prepared for some snorting-out-loud jokes!

[Jennifer]

4-7th grade boys will probably like it.

[Rebecca]

I just couldn't get into this. The main character isn't likeable, and all the bathroom humor is just not my thing. I could see a lot of kids really liking this, though.