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I'll Seize the Day Tomorrow

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More information to be announced soon on this forthcoming title from Penguin USA.

248 pages, Kindle Edition

First published October 9, 2012

21 people are currently reading
1408 people want to read

About the author

Jonathan Goldstein

26 books135 followers
Radio Work

Many of Goldstein's pieces have been featured on the PRI radio show This American Life where he is a contributing editor. From 2000 to 2002 he was also a producer of the show.

Currently, Goldstein hosts a show on CBC Radio One called WireTap, a program featuring stories told over the phone. He was also the host of the CBC summer radio program Road Dot Trip in 2000 and has contributed to shows like Dispatches and Outfront.

Written work

In 2001, Goldstein's debut novel, Lenny Bruce Is Dead, was published by Coach House Books. Goldstein also co-authored Schmelvis: In Search of Elvis Presley's Jewish Roots with Max Wallace, an account of a Hasidic Elvis impersonator and Rabbi's quest to trace the Jewish roots of Elvis Presley. His latest book, Ladies and Gentlemen, the Bible! was published in April 2009 by Riverhead. Goldstein has also been published in The New York Times Magazine, Saturday Night, The New York Times, The Walrus, GQ, the Journey Prize Anthology and the National Post. He has also self-produced a number of small publications, most notably carwash the size of a peach.

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5 stars
177 (20%)
4 stars
333 (39%)
3 stars
252 (29%)
2 stars
65 (7%)
1 star
16 (1%)
Displaying 1 - 30 of 117 reviews
Profile Image for Donna Parker.
337 reviews21 followers
September 21, 2012
Since I esteem the interesting view on life offered by Jonathan Goldstein I was prepared to esteem this book, and I did, esteem it, like it, love it, ingest it, delight in it, suchlike, but it actually did something else, gasp, it made me think, no, not because it was profound or deep, but quite the opposite. The very thought running-oningness, the very shallow nothingness of it made me ruminate. Perhaps because I could see myself in this, not the actual situations, but the vague meanderings of his mind. Goldstein is clever, but in a I-just-happen-to-be-clever way, just how his mind works, not because he’s working at it, let’s face it, I doubt he’d want to work that hard, but that’s what I like, just thoughts, just feelings, just being instead of working so hard at being the best, or the brightest, or the funniest, or thinking up things to put on YouTube or tweets…just enjoying people for themselves instead of the disengaged, narcisexisting, side-show building twits the world is eroding into. I won this from the Goodreads First Reads program, but its worth buying. Shallow not callow, funny without trying and naturally witty. I found myself more than laughing, giggling, nay, chuckling, maybe both. I liked that and the circles it spun me around in, soothing and stimulating all in one big lumpy inane hammock of droll.
Profile Image for Teck Wu.
329 reviews66 followers
July 6, 2021
Sometimes witty, sometimes meh. I love the interluding short stories though. 3.5stars because of them.
Profile Image for Sterlingcindysu.
1,666 reviews79 followers
April 23, 2013
These are the thoughts of a man turning 40, but really, they sounded like those of a man turning 60. Maybe there's not much difference if you don't have any kids to complain about college bills in your 40s. Some people are just born "old" and I think JG is one of them. Considering how often he's drinking coffee in the book he never seems to have much energy.

None of this is to say that it's not funny--it is. I've never heard of the author before, so all his jokes, experiences, etc are new to me. He thinks an awful lot about food, which I think is probably (unfortunately) true as you get older.

Throughout the book he mentions Melba toast--I haven't heard of that in decades and thought maybe it was an Canadian thing (just like the long johns). Near the end he mentions a change in how he can't obtain it any longer and it struck a note with me, how often do I appreciate something because of the cost?

I received this as an ARC and will be passing it around. I wished I would have saved it for an upcoming flight--this would be perfect for that, or a beach read that you can pick up and get into quickly. But I wanted to say that I didn't get the cover with the slice of cheese and maybe that will change in the final copy. Olives would have been a better choice!

Profile Image for Frederic  Germay.
37 reviews39 followers
August 14, 2013
"I'll Seize the Day Tomorrow" is a top-notch read, almost Vonnegutian in a way. Goldstein's book seems like a literary adaptation of Curb Your Enthusiasm, except all of Goldstein's friends are Larry Davids and he's the bumbling buffoon upon which the hilarious rudeness gets heaped. I recently did an interview with author and he described himself as a schlimazel surrounded by schlemiels. Katoves aside, this schlocky schmendrick views Goldstein as more of a maven mentsch.

And if you haven't listened to his programme, Wiretap, on CBC One - I highly recommend it. This book is arguably the companion piece to his show, and it's a delightfully absurd bit of entertainment with wisdom and wit glistening on every page.
538 reviews
October 21, 2013
My favorite kind of book: smart, funny, sad, introspective, deep yet shallow at times as well. I learned what "Weltschmerz" means from this book. Look it up!

Here are some of my other favorite quotes:

from the very first page:

"Though we pretend otherwise, we're all our ages at once. I decide to start putting my shoes on the wrong feet whenever I need to remind myself of that. To this end, I will also take up skipping, though only late at night when no one is around. This, too, will make me feel young. But also insane."


from p. 28:

"'Speaking of spice,' I say, 'what do you think your Spice Girl name would be? Angry Spice?'
'I don't have a Spice Girl name. I have a fighting name: The Gefilte Fist. What's your Spice Girl name?'
'Paprika.'"

from p. 196

"Maybe that's all life is--an accumulation of things that are initially weird and that, over time, become less so. A moustache. A tattoo. A leopard-print do-rag. You bundle all these weird things together to form this even weirder thing: who you are."
Profile Image for Christina Walkinshaw.
129 reviews
July 7, 2020
SOOOO funny!! I read this book in public and people at other tables would look up from their meals to see what I was reading. (Or maybe they were looking for the server. It's not clear.) If anyone is nearing turning 40 this for sure is the perfect read. But honestly, this book will make anyone who's literate laugh.
Profile Image for Kelly Hancock.
96 reviews3 followers
February 27, 2024
Read when I belatedly learned that Spotify cancelled the Heavyweight podcast to itch my deprived Jonathan Goldstein heart. This man could shit on a log and I’d read the hell out of it. But no really, it was a treat reading his diary of sorts leading into his 40th year of life and I laughed lots throughout
2 reviews
March 3, 2022
A Review of My First Second Hand Book

This year I decided my new years resolution was to read more. It doesn't matter what kind of books, pure drivel or highly acclaimed, just read any books that engage me. So I bought "I'll Sieze the Day Tomorrow" second hand on the internet, as it's no longer in print where I live. Partway through though, I realised I was always getting a perfumed smell from the pages. I've never been a fan of perfumed things. So sometimes it smacks me right in the soft part of my nostrils. "Maybe this is just what it would have smelt like brand new? Maybe it's a Canadian publisher thing?", I thought.

I did find it fascinating that you could see where the first reader was up to from all the dog tags they left behind - it's almost like sharing your Disney account with a friend. I heard on a Radiolab episode that you can learn a lot about a writer by analysing the meta text of their literary work, and I wondered how much you could learn about a reader from their dog tags? This reader always read in shorter intervals than me, they would stop reading halfway through a chapter, and the intervals are roughly the same length. Perhaps they only had a short commute 🤔 maybe they just have a short attention span. Then one day, I realised the smell, the smell is the smell of perfumed toilet paper and bathroom!!! This book was somebody's book to shit to. The dog tags - probably how long it took for this guy to drop the kids off at the pool. The audacity of this second hand seller! Selling people their dunny books!? Only someone who defiles books with dog tags would be ok with selling on their shitting books!

I imagine all the time the book must have been in their bathroom to absorb the smell of their perfumed toilet paper into every page. I imagine it sitting in a pile of books in a basket shared with spare toilet rolls. The basket is sitting on a red tiled floor in a big sunny bathroom. Just in reach to the left, the white porcelain toilet. I realise it's the bathroom of my best friend in primary school, the only other person I knew who's family read books while taking a shit. Maybe even they couldn't smell that their books were perfumed by toilet paper bathroom smell, while they're still in the bathroom.

I want to tell Jonathan in an email "you know that book you wrote and isn't in print anymore?" I'd say, "Yeah well people bought it to shit to." "What does this say about you and me?!"
Profile Image for Sara.
326 reviews5 followers
September 10, 2015
I love this guy. He's a nut, very bright, and very funny. I actually laughed out loud when reading this very loosely connected collection of musings, and I'm not usually a laugh-out-louder. I had to keep stifling myself because my husband was sleeping next to me in bed. I especially love the way he talks about his friends and parents. I could read an entire book about his father alone.

Here is just a small sample of one of his observations:

"I'm not the only one at work worried about germs. All day long, we rub antibacterial soap into our hands. It has the effect of making us look like the evil, scheming characters in a Renaissance drama. If only people could be so obvious about their secret schemes! It would make buying a used car easier, though dating impossible."

Love it! Recommended.
Profile Image for Kate.
193 reviews33 followers
October 7, 2021
This was enjoyable and I did actually laugh out loud a few times, which is rare for me when reading a book. I was maybe in a weird place when I finished it so it left me feeling a little melancholy. I can identify with his overall schlubbiness and reluctant knowledge that he'll never be able to change, but for someone who works very hard to paint himself as a loser, he certainly has a lot of friends calling him and dropping by.
Profile Image for Sonya.
315 reviews14 followers
July 6, 2014
I recognized a lot of the stories from Wiretap episodes, and enjoyed them just as much in reading as hearing Jonathan Goldstein narrate them on the radio. A fun (and hella fast!) read. I just started it this morning! #triplespacing #fatmargins
Profile Image for Al.
186 reviews6 followers
April 28, 2018
I’m a big fan of Wiretap and Jonathan’s new show, Heavyweight, so I enjoyed this quite a bit. But I can’t imagine anyone with no context or history with Jonathan enjoying this very much.
Profile Image for Aaron Esthelm.
282 reviews2 followers
December 13, 2023
This book shines at times (like Goldstein's bald head) and is a bit stale at others (Like leftover melba toast in an office desk).

This book follows Goldstein's impending 40th birthday. Having listened to the authors podcast
-Heavyweight- he offhandedly mentioned he wrote a book. Being a fan of his humor style I decided to pick it up and im glad I did. Comparing him 10 years ago to the man he is today is very interesting. While the book follows him through feeling unaccomplished and dissatisfied with his lot in life his present day life seems to have all the trappings that he was yearning for in this book! Goldstein is now married and the host of his very own podcast in New York City. As a comparison piece this was super interesting to see how much hes changed and how much hes stayed the same.
Some of his friends like Gregor and Marie-Claude are people he has had on his podcast and they make appearances in his book which was great to see. While others like Tucker I have yet to see mention of. All of this to say that Goldstein has come a long way since the writing of this book and I think he should be proud of that.

The stories that he tells are funny and written exactly as he talks in his podcast and thats just the way I like it.
Profile Image for George.
1 review1 follower
January 2, 2020
The subtitle of this book should be “or: How I learned to stop worrying and Love the Melba Toast.”
If you’re reading this book then you are more than likely a fan of Jonathan’s radio shows and podcasts. You know the humor. You know the style. He makes you laugh out loud. He makes you think.

THIS is the book I wish would have written! I’ve been trying for years (unsuccessfully) and Jonathan Goldstein has done it (successfully). If you are a fan of Wiretap and Heavyweight this will be the companion piece. It’s the coffee table book to show off your love of the comedy mind of JG.
Gregor’s foreword and afterword puts the whole project over the top for me. I’ve never read a better or funnier bookends to the meaty musings in-between. I want more!
16 reviews
September 10, 2021
I had so many laugh out loud moments when reading this book. Jonathan and his family are probably just as weird as the rest of us are in private, but he has a great gift for capturing and probably exaggerating their traits in short little stories. There is so much wit throughout the book, in Jonathan’s own musings and in his characters. There are also some short stories that are weird takes on common motifs or parodies of well known stories. Some of these were brilliant, others less so, in my view.
137 reviews1 follower
September 17, 2018
I adore Jonathan Goldstein. His self-deprecating, witty, vulnerable narrative voice peels back layer after layer of Goldstein's personality and his flaws in an original, refreshing way. I applaud his dialogue with his audience and his ability to keep me turning pages long into the night on a school night.

I hope your forties treat you well, Goldstein. You deserve all the best. (And please release Heavyweight season 3 soon?)
132 reviews2 followers
October 16, 2019
I picked this up as I'm a huge fan of Jonathan's Heavyweight podcast, and I wanted to hear more. The bite sized snapshots of his day and life are hilarious. His parents are the stars. His friends, long-suffering. Highly recommend.
61 reviews
March 10, 2024
I enjoyed this a lot more than Lenny Bruce Is Dead, which I found very oblique. This had some genuinely laugh out loud moments, and I found Jonathan and all of his fictionalised friends to be very endearing. I read it over a couple of days.
585 reviews9 followers
November 2, 2017
And now, about 3 or 4 mediocre books too late, I am finally giving up on the humorist essay genre of books.
Profile Image for Hannah.
179 reviews
October 9, 2021
I loved Goldstein’s blunt and acute observations, and no-frills humor. Relatably self deprecating, and starkly original.
Profile Image for Mizhelle.
23 reviews
January 23, 2023
Read this book mostly on mornings before starting work. Never failed to give me a good laugh and begin the day on a cheerful note.
Profile Image for guiltlessreader.
387 reviews123 followers
November 11, 2012
Originally posted on my blog Guiltless Reading

So I got this one thinking that I could relate (hint: I'm nearing a round figure myself). But then there are so many dissimilarities that I started out with just a bit of trepidation -- was I ready to listen to a single male yap about his utter hopelessness and aimless life? Would I at least get a good laugh, or would I be forcing myself to find humour in things I couldn't relate to ... like the McRib? (I have never eaten a McRib in my life!)

As I started reading, I remembered Robert Fulghum (author of Everything I Needed to Know I Learned in Kindergarten) for some reason -- albeit Goldstein is decades younger and has more hair on his head.

They share amusing, sometimes profound insights into the most mundane or the most important life moments. Amidst the McRibs and after-work drinks and chattering with male friends Goldstein has moments of introspection with a lucidity and profoundness that made me feel I should be paying more attention to "being in the moment."

For example, a recollection of dinners out as a child:

When dining there, my sister and I usually shared a hamburger, but my dream was to one day have the flaming Pu-Pu platter, a dish of chicken, onion rings, wontons and God-knows-what, all brought to the table ablaze. The diner had to blow it out like a plate full of birthday candles, or a stray Molotov cocktail. To a ten-year-old, a Pu-Pu platter turning dining into an act of heroism.
- page 56, ARC (page may change)

Or welcoming a newborn into the family:

Tolstoy once wrote that every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way and that happy families are all alike. This is not so, as evidence by my father, who is smilingly biting into a home-brought chicken sandwich while seated atop an upturned wastepaper basket, and my mother, who is rubbing disinfectant gel onto her lips, preparing to kiss the newborn.

We all stand around for hours, happily staring at the baby and clutching our chests. How strange to feel yourself falling in love with someone you've only met. And how endlessly fascinating it is to watch someone getting used to being alive. Though perhaps even more fascinating is watching someone get used to being part of our family - page 102, ARC (page may change)

Or if you ever wondered what women really think about men's beards:

I phone Marie-Claude.
"Men have beards," I say. "What do women have for their sadness?"
"Much of our sadness is caused by men's beards," she says.
After a brief conversation, I put the phone down and go shave. After all, there already enough sadness in the world. - page 195, ARC (page may change)

This is a fun read. Not sure how much of this is true but read this tongue-in-cheek; laugh out loud when you're feeling like it; and snicker when it's snide and silly. I found myself many times just snickering to myself -- definitely the best type of humour because it relatable but not trying to be funny.

But if you're in the mood for it, this book is also about introspection and self-examination -- of oneself, the people you interact with on a daily basis, or the simple things that you just do.

One thing that struck me is how lovingly Goldstein talks about his family. I loved his relationship with his parents, particularly his father, who is a equally funny in his own quirky way.

And while Goldstein seems like an utter failure by his obviously high standards (this is supposed to be sarcastic) ... who says you need a wife, kids, a house, and a huge TV? Sometimes it really is about enjoying the ride!

Uh-ohs: I hated the Foreword by Gregor Erlich, "agent to the star" who tries waaaaay too hard to be funny and I guess, to set the stage for the book. No offense to Mr. Erlich, but I really didn't want to hear from him nor did I find him particularly funny. Take note that Erlich reappears with an Afterword, which didn't annoy me as much but again, trying too hard to be funny.

Verdict: A guy's humorous take on his life as he counts down to the big 4-0. A fun read for any male, or for any female wanting a peek into the ... maturing ... male mind.

I won an Advance Reader Copy on Goodreads First Reads


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Fun read! :) Snickering to yourself is good. I needed that :) (Full review coming soon!)
Displaying 1 - 30 of 117 reviews

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