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Finding Masculinity: Female to Male Transition in Adulthood
"Living out something you've spent countless hours daydreaming about and wondering about is an experience that isn't easily put into words." - Will Krisanda
Finding Masculinity is a collection of stories from a small cross section of the transgender male community that shares insight into the diversity of life experiences of transgender men, beyond the traditional narrative.
This anthology examines the many facets of life that transition impacts; transitioning on the job, emotional and spiritual growth, family, navigating the medical community, as well as romantic relationships. The stories within come from scientists, teachers, fathers, veterans, and artists who share how being visible as the masculine humans they identify as has developed, changed, and evolved their sense of masculinity.
Finding Masculinity is a collection of stories from a small cross section of the transgender male community that shares insight into the diversity of life experiences of transgender men, beyond the traditional narrative.
This anthology examines the many facets of life that transition impacts; transitioning on the job, emotional and spiritual growth, family, navigating the medical community, as well as romantic relationships. The stories within come from scientists, teachers, fathers, veterans, and artists who share how being visible as the masculine humans they identify as has developed, changed, and evolved their sense of masculinity.
352 pages, Paperback
First published May 12, 2015
23 people are currently reading
440 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 13 of 13 reviews
January 6, 2018
What you take away from this book depends on what your motive is for picking it up. It’s a goldmine of information if you want to learn more about what it means to be F to M trans. It must be a feast of recognition if you are trans.
This book saw the light because the authors realized that there were many pieces of information lacking in available narratives about how others experience transition in different aspects of their daily life, beyond the most-often discussed medical transition. Finding Masculinity attempts to find the answers to questions like ‘how does transitioning to a masculine-identified person affect how we approach the world?, ‘how does this process impact our relationships’, ‘and what about our careers and our families’?
I’m amazed by and thankful for the willingness of transgender people to put themselves out there on the internet via YouTube, FB groups, and in this book. They share their struggles and successes with a still mostly ignorant world. But above else with others that have not/only just yet embarked on their personal journey after having walked around with a sense of unease, a feeling of not belonging in the body that’s assigned to them. This book makes crystal clear that for many trans folks the road to becoming the gender they were all along is not without fear and concerns about how coming out as trans will affect their family, friends, health and career.
These are exactly the aspects the authors focus on. In a book that feels longer than its 180 pages due to its information density and the intensity of the shared experiences, the authors have divided Finding Masculinity in multiple sections, namely: introductions, emotional and spiritual transition, family, relationships, medical community and transitioning on the job.
The foreword by Nick Krieger is excellent, and turns out to be an appetizer for what’s to come: a series of well-written engaging stories that are rich in detail. Though it’s not necessary to read these sections in chronological order, it’s probably a good idea to start with a bunch of the introductions that cover early childhood and upbringing, handling strict societal gender roles, (often) coming out as lesbian and figuring out that this doesn’t seem quite right either, and ultimately: finding happiness.
As the blurb mentions, Finding Masculinity is a collection of stories from a small cross section of the transgender male community. If you therefore expect thorough coverage of, for example, sexually fluid trans men, you may end up disappointed. The interviewed men are mostly straight males in their early thirties. Furthermore, all of these men are American, meaning that a good deal of their experiences are culturally determined due to US law, healthcare and procedures, and last but certainly not least: the religious conservatism that luckily plays a minor role in, for example, the Netherlands.
Of course, this inevitably means that if you are looking for specific information on certain aspects of the F to M transition, chances are you will not find it in this book. By no means do I want to downplay the difficulties a waiter or freelance editor may experience when transitioning on the job, but personally, I’d be very interested in how trans men in high-profile positions in the corporate world, and possibly in the public eye, handled their transition. I’m sure they must be out there, but I can also understand that a trans man in the prime of his career is probably less likely to speak openly about such a private matter as transitioning. Which is why I’m not too disappointed that one is not featured in this book.
This book saw the light because the authors realized that there were many pieces of information lacking in available narratives about how others experience transition in different aspects of their daily life, beyond the most-often discussed medical transition. Finding Masculinity attempts to find the answers to questions like ‘how does transitioning to a masculine-identified person affect how we approach the world?, ‘how does this process impact our relationships’, ‘and what about our careers and our families’?
I’m amazed by and thankful for the willingness of transgender people to put themselves out there on the internet via YouTube, FB groups, and in this book. They share their struggles and successes with a still mostly ignorant world. But above else with others that have not/only just yet embarked on their personal journey after having walked around with a sense of unease, a feeling of not belonging in the body that’s assigned to them. This book makes crystal clear that for many trans folks the road to becoming the gender they were all along is not without fear and concerns about how coming out as trans will affect their family, friends, health and career.
These are exactly the aspects the authors focus on. In a book that feels longer than its 180 pages due to its information density and the intensity of the shared experiences, the authors have divided Finding Masculinity in multiple sections, namely: introductions, emotional and spiritual transition, family, relationships, medical community and transitioning on the job.
The foreword by Nick Krieger is excellent, and turns out to be an appetizer for what’s to come: a series of well-written engaging stories that are rich in detail. Though it’s not necessary to read these sections in chronological order, it’s probably a good idea to start with a bunch of the introductions that cover early childhood and upbringing, handling strict societal gender roles, (often) coming out as lesbian and figuring out that this doesn’t seem quite right either, and ultimately: finding happiness.
Looking back I can see in sharp and poignant relief the moment in which I was faced with this realization. I was in kindergarten of first grade, happily playing toy monster trucks with some of my male classmates. From atop a small playground above me came a mocking inquiry from three older girls as to why I was playing trucks with boys. The implication of course being that I was a girl, and shouldn’t be acting like a boy. In response to their teasing I gripped my monster truck in hand and defiantly thrust it skyward retorting: ‘Would a girl have this!?” There was a pause, followed by laughter: “You think you’re a boy??”
Sometimes I thought my parents were keeping a secret from me, a secret too controversial for someone my age to understand. I thought they had my penis surgically removed when I was a baby because they already had two boys. In the shower, I would search for the scar, looking to find any evidence to help me understand.
As the blurb mentions, Finding Masculinity is a collection of stories from a small cross section of the transgender male community. If you therefore expect thorough coverage of, for example, sexually fluid trans men, you may end up disappointed. The interviewed men are mostly straight males in their early thirties. Furthermore, all of these men are American, meaning that a good deal of their experiences are culturally determined due to US law, healthcare and procedures, and last but certainly not least: the religious conservatism that luckily plays a minor role in, for example, the Netherlands.
Of course, this inevitably means that if you are looking for specific information on certain aspects of the F to M transition, chances are you will not find it in this book. By no means do I want to downplay the difficulties a waiter or freelance editor may experience when transitioning on the job, but personally, I’d be very interested in how trans men in high-profile positions in the corporate world, and possibly in the public eye, handled their transition. I’m sure they must be out there, but I can also understand that a trans man in the prime of his career is probably less likely to speak openly about such a private matter as transitioning. Which is why I’m not too disappointed that one is not featured in this book.
Living out something you’ve spent countless hours daydreaming about and wondering about is an experience that isn’t easily put into words.
June 13, 2021
Grew repetitive at 36% (130/360) both in the experiences described, as well as the blandness of the writing.
A very long read for what it is - bland expressions of various trans-men's experiences of their trans identity, prior to transition. Perhaps if the stories were selected based on some factor, they could be reduced to more "striking" experiences, akin to one for every kind of trans-masculine experience, but alas - it is more so of a blender of random stories instead.
A very long read for what it is - bland expressions of various trans-men's experiences of their trans identity, prior to transition. Perhaps if the stories were selected based on some factor, they could be reduced to more "striking" experiences, akin to one for every kind of trans-masculine experience, but alas - it is more so of a blender of random stories instead.
April 9, 2023
I really wanted to like this collection of trans men/trans masculine people telling their stories however it just felt a bit flat. A lot of the stories had the same format and they weren't very varied (most of the stories consisted of the guys included believing they were lesbians in youth before coming to terms with their true identities). I felt like the author should have looked out for a more diverse range of trans men as I felt like too many chapters overlapped.
March 2, 2019
As with any anthology, there were highs and lows. I'm glad to have the perspective of adults since so much of the literature currently is for teens (which is great, it's just I'm not a teen), but the men featured were not very diverse in terms of socioeconomic class, race, sexuality, etc.
February 22, 2020
Helped to understand
As a person who is transitioning later in life it helped me understand that it’s okay to have a different narrative. I can do this regardless of who accepts this.
As a person who is transitioning later in life it helped me understand that it’s okay to have a different narrative. I can do this regardless of who accepts this.
Read
March 27, 2021Didn't end up reading the whole thing. Got about halfway through.
January 3, 2024
Good book. Just started to get repetitive.
July 13, 2016
I received a copy of this free in exchange for an honest review.
This is a collection of essays by trans men on various elements of their coming out and becoming the men they were meant to be. It is a good and important read for anyone who wants to begin to understand what it’s like to have been designated female at birth and come to understand oneself as male.
As much as I enjoyed the anthology, and as much as I believe it should be read widely, I did have a few issues. The first was that the format did not work for me at all. It felt as though these men were sent a list of interview questions and instructed to answer it school-essay style. I felt that some of what appeared in the section introducing the contributors was restated in their later sections, and I found myself skimming at times. It would have worked far better for each person to simply have told his story in one complete chapter. They felt a bit too blog-post for my taste, and not all were particularly well-written (barring Mitch Kellaway, who was an absolute delight to read).
The second thing I noticed was that it was overwhelmingly representative of straight/opposite-sex-partnered, white, middle-class, exclusively male-identified people between mid-twenties and early forties. I found that (again, except for Mitch Kellaway–specifically his essay on fatherhood and transition) there was a focus on a particular type of masculinity rather than a broad range of what makes a man or how one develops manhood. There was a heavy emphasis on medical transition as well. Perhaps the experiences of the editors sculpted the book’s landscape, or perhaps they have in mind to continue their work. I would love to see follow-ups that focus on men of color, non-binary male-spectrum people, men who chose not to medically transition, youth, and men who came out/transitioned late in life. Hopefully, if this book gains traction, that can become a reality.
Despite those concerns, I still strongly recommend this as a first step book on the experiences of trans men. This is one of many necessary books on the subject of what it’s like to be trans in current western society.
This is a collection of essays by trans men on various elements of their coming out and becoming the men they were meant to be. It is a good and important read for anyone who wants to begin to understand what it’s like to have been designated female at birth and come to understand oneself as male.
As much as I enjoyed the anthology, and as much as I believe it should be read widely, I did have a few issues. The first was that the format did not work for me at all. It felt as though these men were sent a list of interview questions and instructed to answer it school-essay style. I felt that some of what appeared in the section introducing the contributors was restated in their later sections, and I found myself skimming at times. It would have worked far better for each person to simply have told his story in one complete chapter. They felt a bit too blog-post for my taste, and not all were particularly well-written (barring Mitch Kellaway, who was an absolute delight to read).
The second thing I noticed was that it was overwhelmingly representative of straight/opposite-sex-partnered, white, middle-class, exclusively male-identified people between mid-twenties and early forties. I found that (again, except for Mitch Kellaway–specifically his essay on fatherhood and transition) there was a focus on a particular type of masculinity rather than a broad range of what makes a man or how one develops manhood. There was a heavy emphasis on medical transition as well. Perhaps the experiences of the editors sculpted the book’s landscape, or perhaps they have in mind to continue their work. I would love to see follow-ups that focus on men of color, non-binary male-spectrum people, men who chose not to medically transition, youth, and men who came out/transitioned late in life. Hopefully, if this book gains traction, that can become a reality.
Despite those concerns, I still strongly recommend this as a first step book on the experiences of trans men. This is one of many necessary books on the subject of what it’s like to be trans in current western society.
February 6, 2016
I was surprised by how young the 15 participants in this were. The oldest is 41, with most in their early 20 or thirties. I thought it would also be more international in scope as I was led to believe from the intro, only two were not from the United States--one in Canada and one in London. Liked the way the book was set up with facets of transition. But because of this, the connection with the indivdual is lost. All female to male transgender.
June 29, 2015
This book has many stories from a variety of transgender men on varying topics from the emotional and spiritual to family, relationships, work and the medical community. I found the book to be very informative and I think that people who are transgender or who have loved ones who are transgender will find the book to be helpful. I received this book free to review from Netgalley.
February 18, 2016
Collection of trans men about their (adult) transitions—the effects, relationships, pitfalls, experience. Valuable for someone who is looking to find folks whose experience is similar. Didn't hold my interest; needed editing.
Read
July 20, 2017Really great book. Loved hearing the variety of the individuals.
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