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It’s Not Me, It’s You
An achingly funny story about how to be your own hero when life pulls the rug out from under your feet. From the author of the bestselling YOU HAD ME AT HELLO
Delia Moss isn’t quite sure where she went wrong.
When she proposed and discovered her boyfriend was sleeping with someone else – she thought it was her fault.
When she realised life would never be the same again – she thought it was her fault.
And when he wanted her back life nothing had changed – Delia started to wonder if perhaps she was not to blame…
From Newcastle to London and back again, with dodgy jobs, eccentric bosses and annoyingly handsome journalists thrown in, Delia must find out where her old self went – and if she can ever get her back.
Delia Moss isn’t quite sure where she went wrong.
When she proposed and discovered her boyfriend was sleeping with someone else – she thought it was her fault.
When she realised life would never be the same again – she thought it was her fault.
And when he wanted her back life nothing had changed – Delia started to wonder if perhaps she was not to blame…
From Newcastle to London and back again, with dodgy jobs, eccentric bosses and annoyingly handsome journalists thrown in, Delia must find out where her old self went – and if she can ever get her back.
531 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2014
About the author
Mhairi McFarlane
44 books11.7k followersMhairi was born in Scotland in 1976 and her unnecessarily confusing name is pronounced Vah-Ree.
After some efforts at journalism, she started writing novels. It’s Not Me, It’s You is her third book. She lives in Nottingham, with a man and a cat.
After some efforts at journalism, she started writing novels. It’s Not Me, It’s You is her third book. She lives in Nottingham, with a man and a cat.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 1,581 reviews
March 10, 2023
Great story, wonderful characters.
Delia has to rebuild her life when she discovers her live-in boyfriend has cheated on her. She takes off for London, leaving everyone behind, to spend time with her Bestie and get over her heartbreak - and maybe reinvent herself.
Delia is an aspiring comic book creator. She's never been published, but like the superhero character in her comic book, Delia is now ready to try anything to push forward with her life. But her new life in London gets complicated: Delia's new boss is a cad - and Adam, an investigative journalist - tries to persuade Delia to help expose him. Out of the frying pan, into the fire!?!
McFarlane writes intelligent novels, with insightful observations on human motivations and relationships. McFarlane is also the BOSS of great endings. I've read many a book where the storytelling was utterly stellar, but where the ending was rushed or floundered about - that is rarely the case with Mhairi McFarlane.
It's Not Me, It's You had a ravishing ending - it was just THE BOMB!!
I have to say, Adam had me totally fooled, and towards the end, when he finally "pounced" I was "awwwwwing" for quite some time! Loved it! Highly recommended!
Delia has to rebuild her life when she discovers her live-in boyfriend has cheated on her. She takes off for London, leaving everyone behind, to spend time with her Bestie and get over her heartbreak - and maybe reinvent herself.
Delia is an aspiring comic book creator. She's never been published, but like the superhero character in her comic book, Delia is now ready to try anything to push forward with her life. But her new life in London gets complicated: Delia's new boss is a cad - and Adam, an investigative journalist - tries to persuade Delia to help expose him. Out of the frying pan, into the fire!?!
McFarlane writes intelligent novels, with insightful observations on human motivations and relationships. McFarlane is also the BOSS of great endings. I've read many a book where the storytelling was utterly stellar, but where the ending was rushed or floundered about - that is rarely the case with Mhairi McFarlane.
It's Not Me, It's You had a ravishing ending - it was just THE BOMB!!
I have to say, Adam had me totally fooled, and towards the end, when he finally "pounced" I was "awwwwwing" for quite some time! Loved it! Highly recommended!
January 16, 2022
Nice and cute story about Delia who goes through some heart-breaking events in life and is forced to change direction and make some choices. I wouldn't say that this novel was absolutely mind-blowing, but it was definitely interesting, relaxing and at times quite funny. I was expecting a chick-lit novel, and that was exactly what I got.
"It's Not Me, It's You" did become quite predictable, especially towards the end, and it wasn't as hilarious as I had heard it would be. Still, I loved how this story mingles Delia's life with cartoonish art and a parallel storyline that went really well with the story. I would say that this is a great book for when you need a relaxing read that will make you feel good and put a smile on your face.
"It's Not Me, It's You" did become quite predictable, especially towards the end, and it wasn't as hilarious as I had heard it would be. Still, I loved how this story mingles Delia's life with cartoonish art and a parallel storyline that went really well with the story. I would say that this is a great book for when you need a relaxing read that will make you feel good and put a smile on your face.
June 2, 2021
Nein, sorry, aber das war nichts für mich.
Ich mag humorvolle Liebesromane, aber dieser konnte meinen Humor so gar nicht treffen.
Die Sprache hat mir nicht gefallen, der Humor hat mich nicht erreicht.
Die meisten Charaktere fand ich unsympathisch bzw. konnte mich so gar nicht in sie hineinversetzen. Ich fand sie viel zu überzogen dargestellt teilweise und nicht authentisch.
Die Geschichte an sich fand ich irgendwann auch nicht mehr interessant, aber da ich höchst ungerne Bücher abbreche, habe ich es bis zum Ende gelesen, einige Passagen allerdings dann nur noch überflogen.
Das Buch bekommt zwei Sterne, weil ich den Anfang des Buches durchaus noch mochte...
Ich mag humorvolle Liebesromane, aber dieser konnte meinen Humor so gar nicht treffen.
Die Sprache hat mir nicht gefallen, der Humor hat mich nicht erreicht.
Die meisten Charaktere fand ich unsympathisch bzw. konnte mich so gar nicht in sie hineinversetzen. Ich fand sie viel zu überzogen dargestellt teilweise und nicht authentisch.
Die Geschichte an sich fand ich irgendwann auch nicht mehr interessant, aber da ich höchst ungerne Bücher abbreche, habe ich es bis zum Ende gelesen, einige Passagen allerdings dann nur noch überflogen.
Das Buch bekommt zwei Sterne, weil ich den Anfang des Buches durchaus noch mochte...
October 22, 2014
Okay, so, me giving a Mhairi McFarlane book ALL THE STARS is getting boring and commonplace, I know. But I wouldn't even want to buck the trend if I could. These books are such a high point, things to look forward to with indecent impatience, the Christmas dinner of my reading year.
What was unexpected was 'It's Not Me, It's You' taking over as my favourite Mhairi read (putting it up there in my Top Reads Ever). I always love a Mhairi heroine and wish she was my best friend but Delia was just too perfect. I want her to cook for me, I want her wardrobe, I want to drink wine and discuss storyboards with her. I think that not a small amount of Mhairi's success is down to just that - writing amazing women that other women want to be friends with (writing amazing men too... Adam [and even Paul, to an extent] being particularly enthralling here).
And of course Mhairi's just hilarious. Reading this book I laughed so hard I almost dropped my Kindle in the bath (therefore reading this book in the bath not recommended). I laughed so hard reading whilst lunching at my desk that I misted a colleague with a light spray of semi-chewed jacket potato (and she laughed too when I showed her the offending passage, so that's all okay). As a recovering Londoner myself I love the sharpness with which she catches the Big Smoke, but as with her other books, Mhairi makes me want to see more of GB, in this case Newcastle which sounds delightful.
Anything more I say will no doubt just be echoed in the hundreds and hundreds of 5 star reviews that will avalanche when this gem is released. I already want to read it again.
What was unexpected was 'It's Not Me, It's You' taking over as my favourite Mhairi read (putting it up there in my Top Reads Ever). I always love a Mhairi heroine and wish she was my best friend but Delia was just too perfect. I want her to cook for me, I want her wardrobe, I want to drink wine and discuss storyboards with her. I think that not a small amount of Mhairi's success is down to just that - writing amazing women that other women want to be friends with (writing amazing men too... Adam [and even Paul, to an extent] being particularly enthralling here).
And of course Mhairi's just hilarious. Reading this book I laughed so hard I almost dropped my Kindle in the bath (therefore reading this book in the bath not recommended). I laughed so hard reading whilst lunching at my desk that I misted a colleague with a light spray of semi-chewed jacket potato (and she laughed too when I showed her the offending passage, so that's all okay). As a recovering Londoner myself I love the sharpness with which she catches the Big Smoke, but as with her other books, Mhairi makes me want to see more of GB, in this case Newcastle which sounds delightful.
Anything more I say will no doubt just be echoed in the hundreds and hundreds of 5 star reviews that will avalanche when this gem is released. I already want to read it again.
May 19, 2015
There are books you read because they widen your horizons or make you think of things in a new light. Then, there are books you read because you want something dependable--you know how things are going to turn out and that's just a-okay. It's Not Me, It's You definitely falls into the latter group.
The basis of this book is not unusual: Young woman's life is turned upside down (by a cheatin' boyfriend, of course) and heads off to the big city where her world is opened up and she realizes her own strength. Obviously, this formula works as it is a common trope in Contemporary Fiction.
Because of that, I can't fault this book for being predictable. I think I would have been disappointed if the book did not follow the expected path. There is something comfortable about reading a book where you know what is going to happen--I don't want that for every book that I read, but it is nice from time to time.
I say all this because a predictable plot is not my issue with this book.
Frankly, this book was a good 100-150 pages too long and with 1 or 2 too many plots. We have 3 major arcs here--Delia and her cheating boyfriend, Delia and her amoral boss and the journalist who wants to bring him down, and Delia and her internet Troll who becomes her friend. Any one of these plots on their own could have been a book, but McFarlane tries to weave all three into one narrative.
The problem is that she doesn't really do so in a way that three plots work together. Instead, it seems like she deals with plot A for a few chapters and then drops it for plot B, drops plot B for a nod towards plot C, and then back to plot B until it is time to go to plot A. Because of this, I found it hard to get tied into any of the arcs she has going.
I also felt that she dragged things on too long. There was a point in this book, and 3/4 of the way through, where McFarlane should have ended it. Yes, there was some character resolution in the last 1/4 of the book, but that could have been addressed earlier. By the time that I got to that last part of the book, I just didn't care any more.
I also felt that one of the plots mentioned above (no spoiler...) should either have been elevated or eliminated. At the start of the book, it was by far the most interesting plot, but McFarlane never develops it from its initial burst and it left me feeling confused as to why, if she wasn't going to follow it through, why she would bother to include it.
I was hoping for a fun, frivolous read with this book, but instead, I was left scratching my head and wishing the author had done a few more rounds of editing and re-writing before publishing this.
I received a copy of this book in return for an honest review. I received no other compensation for this post.
The basis of this book is not unusual: Young woman's life is turned upside down (by a cheatin' boyfriend, of course) and heads off to the big city where her world is opened up and she realizes her own strength. Obviously, this formula works as it is a common trope in Contemporary Fiction.
Because of that, I can't fault this book for being predictable. I think I would have been disappointed if the book did not follow the expected path. There is something comfortable about reading a book where you know what is going to happen--I don't want that for every book that I read, but it is nice from time to time.
I say all this because a predictable plot is not my issue with this book.
Frankly, this book was a good 100-150 pages too long and with 1 or 2 too many plots. We have 3 major arcs here--Delia and her cheating boyfriend, Delia and her amoral boss and the journalist who wants to bring him down, and Delia and her internet Troll who becomes her friend. Any one of these plots on their own could have been a book, but McFarlane tries to weave all three into one narrative.
The problem is that she doesn't really do so in a way that three plots work together. Instead, it seems like she deals with plot A for a few chapters and then drops it for plot B, drops plot B for a nod towards plot C, and then back to plot B until it is time to go to plot A. Because of this, I found it hard to get tied into any of the arcs she has going.
I also felt that she dragged things on too long. There was a point in this book, and 3/4 of the way through, where McFarlane should have ended it. Yes, there was some character resolution in the last 1/4 of the book, but that could have been addressed earlier. By the time that I got to that last part of the book, I just didn't care any more.
I also felt that one of the plots mentioned above (no spoiler...) should either have been elevated or eliminated. At the start of the book, it was by far the most interesting plot, but McFarlane never develops it from its initial burst and it left me feeling confused as to why, if she wasn't going to follow it through, why she would bother to include it.
I was hoping for a fun, frivolous read with this book, but instead, I was left scratching my head and wishing the author had done a few more rounds of editing and re-writing before publishing this.
I received a copy of this book in return for an honest review. I received no other compensation for this post.
November 24, 2021
A quirky and strange, but fun read with charming characters.
Delia finds herself at a breaking point in life. She gets fired from her job and proposes to her boyfriend of ten years only to find he is cheating on her with a younger woman. Delia is an aspiring artist who creates comics. She decides to move to London with her best friend, all the while debating whether to go back to her boyfriend.
Delia soon finds herself working for a sketchy PR firm in London. She meets Adam who is a journalist and an enemy of her boss. He tries to strike a deal with her to undermine the disreputable company. Secrets are uncovered and sides are taken. Delia and her friends work to scheme against and take down her devious boss.
Delia becomes independent and builds a new life for herself where she is in the drivers seat. She learns to take risks and not settle. The storyline felt a bit random in its events, but it came together at the end and wasn’t too predictable. I liked how Delia became more confident in herself throughout the book. The characters were all endearing, hilarious, and unique.
Overall, a lovely, light, and enjoyable audiobook.
Delia finds herself at a breaking point in life. She gets fired from her job and proposes to her boyfriend of ten years only to find he is cheating on her with a younger woman. Delia is an aspiring artist who creates comics. She decides to move to London with her best friend, all the while debating whether to go back to her boyfriend.
Delia soon finds herself working for a sketchy PR firm in London. She meets Adam who is a journalist and an enemy of her boss. He tries to strike a deal with her to undermine the disreputable company. Secrets are uncovered and sides are taken. Delia and her friends work to scheme against and take down her devious boss.
Delia becomes independent and builds a new life for herself where she is in the drivers seat. She learns to take risks and not settle. The storyline felt a bit random in its events, but it came together at the end and wasn’t too predictable. I liked how Delia became more confident in herself throughout the book. The characters were all endearing, hilarious, and unique.
Overall, a lovely, light, and enjoyable audiobook.
May 1, 2025
I've become accustomed to McFarlane's leisurely, meandering stories of a heroine's journey at a pivotal moment in her life, and It's Not Me, It's You is the classic, winding women's fiction/romance I now expect from this gem of an author. I mostly loved every minute of it, except for a few nail biting parts when Delia detours from the right choice to the clearly wrong one. The wrong choice moments in the book are downright harrowing, even though I understand the likelihood (i.e. "realism") of screwing up one's life from time to time in order to get to a better place: happiness, honesty, self-actualization, true friendships, and, of course, Love.
Reminiscent of the plot of If I Never Met You, Delia discovers at the start of the novel that her long-term partner has been cheating on her, but in this story, she bolts rapidly from that devastation and sets off on a radically new life in London. Even though McFarlane loves the northern regions of England, I thought the London sections of the book worked really well here. Delia's new array of urban friends and antagonists breathe life into her stale existence and change her profoundly. I was so there for every new experience, and maybe more than any other McFarlane book, I could not begin to predict the things that would happen in this exuberant and somewhat crazy tale. At times I felt like I was reading an older Susan Elizabeth Phillips madcap story of a downtrodden heroine destined to be her own hero. That is certainly one of the big themes of the story - Delia must save herself, especially when the good choices involve risk.
I love all of McFarlane's heroines, and even though each is distinct, there is a similarity to them now that I've read all of this author's books. They are witty and empathic, somewhat inclined to booze it up, loyal to loved ones, and sensitive and vulnerable people trying to make sense of an often harsh world. Delia felt like all of those things, maybe even more so than usual. Those she most cares about are the most vulnerable, like her developmentally-challenged adult brother Ralph, who lives in his parents' home playing solitary video games while working in fast food, an agoraphobic techie who forms a solid friendship with Delia only through text and Skype, a shy lesbian musician coping with discrimination, and her elderly, ugly dog, Parsnip, that languished in a shelter before Delia picked him out as the most priceless of all the dogs there. Delia seeks the good in everyone and fears being worn down by the cynicism and dishonesty in life. I felt protective of her, and so it's a huge relief when the actual hero of the novel pretty quickly sizes her up and feels protective too. This is a book with a few potential love interests, and so I will refrain from revealing his name. However, those who read McFarlane's books should be able to locate him quickly, as his story follows a pattern of the unlikely hero who in the end turns out to be just what the heroine needs. I'll say that I loved him without any hesitation. I actually laughed out loud when he blew through a door in all his glorious brashness and made his first dramatic appearance. I screamed internally, "It's him!" The hero here is everything, though McFarlane readers know to be prepared for a long development of his character. And the widely touted love letter he sends her at the end of the book is magical - one of the best things this author has ever written.
Sadly, this is my last unread McFarlane book. I can't believe she existed as a writer out there for years without me even knowing of her writings. She has easily become one of my favorites. Now I wait for August 22 to read a new one. Sigh~
Reminiscent of the plot of If I Never Met You, Delia discovers at the start of the novel that her long-term partner has been cheating on her, but in this story, she bolts rapidly from that devastation and sets off on a radically new life in London. Even though McFarlane loves the northern regions of England, I thought the London sections of the book worked really well here. Delia's new array of urban friends and antagonists breathe life into her stale existence and change her profoundly. I was so there for every new experience, and maybe more than any other McFarlane book, I could not begin to predict the things that would happen in this exuberant and somewhat crazy tale. At times I felt like I was reading an older Susan Elizabeth Phillips madcap story of a downtrodden heroine destined to be her own hero. That is certainly one of the big themes of the story - Delia must save herself, especially when the good choices involve risk.
I love all of McFarlane's heroines, and even though each is distinct, there is a similarity to them now that I've read all of this author's books. They are witty and empathic, somewhat inclined to booze it up, loyal to loved ones, and sensitive and vulnerable people trying to make sense of an often harsh world. Delia felt like all of those things, maybe even more so than usual. Those she most cares about are the most vulnerable, like her developmentally-challenged adult brother Ralph, who lives in his parents' home playing solitary video games while working in fast food, an agoraphobic techie who forms a solid friendship with Delia only through text and Skype, a shy lesbian musician coping with discrimination, and her elderly, ugly dog, Parsnip, that languished in a shelter before Delia picked him out as the most priceless of all the dogs there. Delia seeks the good in everyone and fears being worn down by the cynicism and dishonesty in life. I felt protective of her, and so it's a huge relief when the actual hero of the novel pretty quickly sizes her up and feels protective too. This is a book with a few potential love interests, and so I will refrain from revealing his name. However, those who read McFarlane's books should be able to locate him quickly, as his story follows a pattern of the unlikely hero who in the end turns out to be just what the heroine needs. I'll say that I loved him without any hesitation. I actually laughed out loud when he blew through a door in all his glorious brashness and made his first dramatic appearance. I screamed internally, "It's him!" The hero here is everything, though McFarlane readers know to be prepared for a long development of his character. And the widely touted love letter he sends her at the end of the book is magical - one of the best things this author has ever written.
Sadly, this is my last unread McFarlane book. I can't believe she existed as a writer out there for years without me even knowing of her writings. She has easily become one of my favorites. Now I wait for August 22 to read a new one. Sigh~
August 18, 2018
This flows along excellently with plenty of dialogue. It’s a fun light read which I’ve needed over the past couple of days.
It’s smart, it’s funny and it’s very touching.
I read this in paperback format from the haul I have on my shelf.
It’s smart, it’s funny and it’s very touching.
I read this in paperback format from the haul I have on my shelf.
April 17, 2020
At the onset of writing this review I was still hmm'ing and haw'ing over my rating for this one (but by the time you see if it'll have a nice shiny star value up above) because sadly I'm still comparing everything to DON'T YOU FORGET ABOUT ME. This had a similar ish vibe to McFarlane's latest, IF I NEVER MET YOU, in regards to where our leading lady finds herself relationship-wise at the beginning of the book but things spiral out much differently and I appreciated that.
"Compared to the usual idiots I meet, he wasn't a git. He was pleasant. He was.. benign."
"Tumours can be benign."
"That is so fucking deep! Write that down."
I found this one easier to connect to on the emotional front than I did her latest, and I loved the complexity she made in the story's romantic villain (I have to quantify this because there's an actual villain). That's the thing about this author's books; I'm discovering that you may not always enjoy the journey, or love every second of it, but it's all so painfully real and genuine and complex. You can't fault her for that. This one did err a bit into the unreality with regard to where our lady finds herself along the journey to self-discovery and reflection and it was that bit I didn't quite love. But it did get us on the road to the end game.
"Oof. One night with you and he's turned into a love-letter writer. You must have an incredible pelvic floor."
Additionally, I also appreciated how this could've gone an obvious route with regards to romance but it took a left turn along the way and I like that McFarlane made us wait a bit instead of just giving us the first available option. Well done.
So, again, yes, I enjoyed, one bit even had me howling so loud and long they probably heard me in the UK, but all around love, full body sobs of sadness or joy or both? Not quite and no. It does deserve a round up, though, because ontop of everything good or great mentioned? We have yet another fantastic female duo of besties, a delightfully awkward but also beautiful family dynamic (shout out to Ralph because he's amazing!), and one of the best love letters I've had the pleasure to read. Delia might not have been my favourite McFarlane heroine (Georgie4ever), but I have absolutely no regrets about reading this or spending time with these characters.
3.5 stars
---
This review can also be found at A Take From Two Cities.
"Compared to the usual idiots I meet, he wasn't a git. He was pleasant. He was.. benign."
"Tumours can be benign."
"That is so fucking deep! Write that down."
I found this one easier to connect to on the emotional front than I did her latest, and I loved the complexity she made in the story's romantic villain (I have to quantify this because there's an actual villain). That's the thing about this author's books; I'm discovering that you may not always enjoy the journey, or love every second of it, but it's all so painfully real and genuine and complex. You can't fault her for that. This one did err a bit into the unreality with regard to where our lady finds herself along the journey to self-discovery and reflection and it was that bit I didn't quite love. But it did get us on the road to the end game.
"Oof. One night with you and he's turned into a love-letter writer. You must have an incredible pelvic floor."
Additionally, I also appreciated how this could've gone an obvious route with regards to romance but it took a left turn along the way and I like that McFarlane made us wait a bit instead of just giving us the first available option. Well done.
So, again, yes, I enjoyed, one bit even had me howling so loud and long they probably heard me in the UK, but all around love, full body sobs of sadness or joy or both? Not quite and no. It does deserve a round up, though, because ontop of everything good or great mentioned? We have yet another fantastic female duo of besties, a delightfully awkward but also beautiful family dynamic (shout out to Ralph because he's amazing!), and one of the best love letters I've had the pleasure to read. Delia might not have been my favourite McFarlane heroine (Georgie4ever), but I have absolutely no regrets about reading this or spending time with these characters.
3.5 stars
---
This review can also be found at A Take From Two Cities.
October 23, 2019
I think I may be a fan of Mhairi McFarlane. But that's in spite of this book. While I liked Delia well-enough, I hated how weak she was and that she'd even consider getting back with the cheating weasel Paul. Cheating is a hard-no for me and while I can see getting past it given sincere regret and the right circumstances, this was very much not it. Paul lied. Constantly. Worse, Delia kept catching him in his lies so getting wobbly on the whole "will I go back?" just felt stupid.
So that I kept through this without even thinking I wanted to stop is a testament to McFarlane's skill. I enjoyed getting to know Delia and see her growing into herself and taking on deliberate disruptions to her plans as a way of becoming more. I liked her friendship with Emma and making her way in London and figuring out the whole Kurt vs. Adam holy war.
But the romance was sub-par, not least because it took so long before I could even identify a romance that didn't feel icky. And I really hate when and I particularly hate that . I mean, that seriously broke me and cemented that three-stars was as far as this would ever get.
So three stars it is. McFarlane does great characters. And the story and setting was interesting and evocatively written. I'll definitely be looking up more of her work to enjoy. I hope this isn't the representative sample, though.
A note about Steamy: Like much chick-lit, there isn't much steam. This story had one sex scene that wasn't very explicit. It was just barely enough to qualify for the Steam tag, frankly.
So that I kept through this without even thinking I wanted to stop is a testament to McFarlane's skill. I enjoyed getting to know Delia and see her growing into herself and taking on deliberate disruptions to her plans as a way of becoming more. I liked her friendship with Emma and making her way in London and figuring out the whole Kurt vs. Adam holy war.
But the romance was sub-par, not least because it took so long before I could even identify a romance that didn't feel icky. And I really hate when and I particularly hate that . I mean, that seriously broke me and cemented that three-stars was as far as this would ever get.
So three stars it is. McFarlane does great characters. And the story and setting was interesting and evocatively written. I'll definitely be looking up more of her work to enjoy. I hope this isn't the representative sample, though.
A note about Steamy: Like much chick-lit, there isn't much steam. This story had one sex scene that wasn't very explicit. It was just barely enough to qualify for the Steam tag, frankly.
November 5, 2014
This was my first read from Mhairi McFarlane but I was very excited given how highly fellow bloggers speak of her work. I wasn't therefore put off the the book's 500+ pages. A book of that length has to be really good for me to invest my time, and actually time just flew by as I was reading this book, so engrossed was I in the world and characters that McFarlane has created.
It's always a sign that you are onto a winner when you are laughing from the very first page. Very rarely does a book make me actually laugh out loud but I did with this one many times. It's a seriously funny read at times, but also one that touches on some emotional and serious subjects as well. Also, the humour is believable and not that ridiculous, over the top silliness you often get in this genre. It's the perfect pick me up, and I really looked forward to my spare time so that I could continue reading this book. From the beginning it was clear that McFarlane has a unique and original voice in chick lit. In what is an incredibly crowded genre I look for authors who are exciting and can stand out from the crowd. McFarlane is one of those authors and I just loved her writing. I will be abandoning the review TBR to check out her earlier books as soon as possible.
I loved our main character Delia straightaway. I especially liked that she isn't the typical character you sometimes get in this genre, she's a very unique character and definitely the sort of person you would just love to be friends with. Unfortunately though her life is about to take a turn for the worse. She proposes to her boyfriend Paul, who accepts rather unenthusiastically. Soon after Delia receives a text from Paul, intended for the girl he has been having an affair with, expressing his horror at the proposal. Awkward. These scenes and the ones that follow almost make you want to look away but you can't, it's too addictive and you really feel for Delia as she tries to make sense of it all, and worries about what her future now looks like as a possible single woman.
Delia is such an easy character to root for. Leaving Newcastle for London, a temporary visit with best friend Emma soon sees Delia with a job in a PR firm, and perhaps a new life in London, though even that isn't without its problems given that she soon finds herself making decisions she isn't entirely comfortable with, and her lecherous boss Kurt doesn't exactly help matters. Through her work she meets Alex who she takes an instant dislike to, and their instant love/hate relationship soon gets very exciting indeed. Meanwhile Paul isn't giving up without a fight, and Delia's life in Newcastle is never far away. At times I was just as torn as Delia. Paul appears sincere at times, you almost find yourself wanting her to forgive him but screaming at her not to at other times. This certainly makes the book a little less predictable because you really don't know what's going to happen.
The book has an eclectic mix of characters, including Peshwari Naan or, The Naan. The Naan is an Internet troll who, before leaving her job at the council in Newcastle, Delia was on the hunt for, as he was falsifying quotes from members of the council. Striking up a correspondence with The Naan, Delia soon finds herself with an Internet friend and also finds how easy it is to be more open and honest than you often are in real life. I enjoyed the scenes, or rather emails/texts between the two and it was definitely a fun and different way to tell the story. I also had a soft spot for Delia's brother Ralph, somewhat of a loner with childlike qualities there are some nice scenes between the siblings. Best friend Emma is also a fantastic character, to have that one friend you can turn to no matter what is very comforting for those that do and luckily Delia had Emma.
With everything going on, as I said the story never felt all that predictable and despite having an idea of two of where the story might go McFarlane throws more than one curveball to keep readers on their toes before taking them to what was a brilliant and very satisfying ending. Most books you finish, and move straight on to another one however the story and characters in this book were so good that I'm still thinking about them now. I was gutted when I reached the final page and wasn't ready to say goodbye. I'd love to read more about Delia in the future, in a full length novel or even as a cameo in a future book. This is easily one of the best chick lit books that I've read this year and one that I have no hesitation in recommending. I absolutely loved it.
Thanks to the publisher for the review copy.
It's always a sign that you are onto a winner when you are laughing from the very first page. Very rarely does a book make me actually laugh out loud but I did with this one many times. It's a seriously funny read at times, but also one that touches on some emotional and serious subjects as well. Also, the humour is believable and not that ridiculous, over the top silliness you often get in this genre. It's the perfect pick me up, and I really looked forward to my spare time so that I could continue reading this book. From the beginning it was clear that McFarlane has a unique and original voice in chick lit. In what is an incredibly crowded genre I look for authors who are exciting and can stand out from the crowd. McFarlane is one of those authors and I just loved her writing. I will be abandoning the review TBR to check out her earlier books as soon as possible.
I loved our main character Delia straightaway. I especially liked that she isn't the typical character you sometimes get in this genre, she's a very unique character and definitely the sort of person you would just love to be friends with. Unfortunately though her life is about to take a turn for the worse. She proposes to her boyfriend Paul, who accepts rather unenthusiastically. Soon after Delia receives a text from Paul, intended for the girl he has been having an affair with, expressing his horror at the proposal. Awkward. These scenes and the ones that follow almost make you want to look away but you can't, it's too addictive and you really feel for Delia as she tries to make sense of it all, and worries about what her future now looks like as a possible single woman.
Delia is such an easy character to root for. Leaving Newcastle for London, a temporary visit with best friend Emma soon sees Delia with a job in a PR firm, and perhaps a new life in London, though even that isn't without its problems given that she soon finds herself making decisions she isn't entirely comfortable with, and her lecherous boss Kurt doesn't exactly help matters. Through her work she meets Alex who she takes an instant dislike to, and their instant love/hate relationship soon gets very exciting indeed. Meanwhile Paul isn't giving up without a fight, and Delia's life in Newcastle is never far away. At times I was just as torn as Delia. Paul appears sincere at times, you almost find yourself wanting her to forgive him but screaming at her not to at other times. This certainly makes the book a little less predictable because you really don't know what's going to happen.
The book has an eclectic mix of characters, including Peshwari Naan or, The Naan. The Naan is an Internet troll who, before leaving her job at the council in Newcastle, Delia was on the hunt for, as he was falsifying quotes from members of the council. Striking up a correspondence with The Naan, Delia soon finds herself with an Internet friend and also finds how easy it is to be more open and honest than you often are in real life. I enjoyed the scenes, or rather emails/texts between the two and it was definitely a fun and different way to tell the story. I also had a soft spot for Delia's brother Ralph, somewhat of a loner with childlike qualities there are some nice scenes between the siblings. Best friend Emma is also a fantastic character, to have that one friend you can turn to no matter what is very comforting for those that do and luckily Delia had Emma.
With everything going on, as I said the story never felt all that predictable and despite having an idea of two of where the story might go McFarlane throws more than one curveball to keep readers on their toes before taking them to what was a brilliant and very satisfying ending. Most books you finish, and move straight on to another one however the story and characters in this book were so good that I'm still thinking about them now. I was gutted when I reached the final page and wasn't ready to say goodbye. I'd love to read more about Delia in the future, in a full length novel or even as a cameo in a future book. This is easily one of the best chick lit books that I've read this year and one that I have no hesitation in recommending. I absolutely loved it.
Thanks to the publisher for the review copy.
January 13, 2020
When an author can make you hold a 500+ page print book well after the time it's usually lights out (though I'd still be reading typically), makes you laugh out loud more than once, and presents a complicated scenario that shows a human side to cheating and manages to still convey the complexity long term relationships, it's a 5 right?
Well at least a 4, but it's a 5 bc I love a Batman hero.
Well at least a 4, but it's a 5 bc I love a Batman hero.
March 25, 2016
War das schön <3
March 26, 2016
4.5 stars - Incredible. I really loved it.
While trudging through a 1000+ page novel by Dickens, I wanted something light and entertaining to read on the side. My trusted GR reviewers had raved about this one, and they were absolutely correct. It delivered and easily exceeded expectations.
It starts off running when the main character, Delia, finds out her life-mate of 10 years has been having an affair. From there the author takes you on a delightful, heartfelt journey that travels though all kinds of witty and sarcastic places. I love how she included so many subplots and touched on all the things that make life complex instead of just focusing on a romance plot. Because in real life we can't put everything else on pause to fix one issue, no matter how significant it may be.
The subplots are what really made this stand out from what could have otherwise been a generic rom-com. The story also covers change (moving and the awkwardness of a new job), and drives home the importance of going after the life that you truly want instead of lazily staying in the one that has happened to form around you. I also enjoyed the point on pets being family and valuing those precious friendships (human) where the person has become more like family to you.
Really enjoyed this one and loved the author's quotable prose and realistically flawed characters. Top all of this off with a memorable love letter to rival Jane Austen and I'm an instant fan. I'll definitely be looking for more of her books in the future.
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Favorite Quote: Uncovering an affair wasn’t a one big fact headline story. It was like Metroyshka dolls, lies inside lies inside lies.
First Sentence: Ann clomped over in her King Kong slippers, with a yoghurt, a spoon and a really annoyed expression.
While trudging through a 1000+ page novel by Dickens, I wanted something light and entertaining to read on the side. My trusted GR reviewers had raved about this one, and they were absolutely correct. It delivered and easily exceeded expectations.
It starts off running when the main character, Delia, finds out her life-mate of 10 years has been having an affair. From there the author takes you on a delightful, heartfelt journey that travels though all kinds of witty and sarcastic places. I love how she included so many subplots and touched on all the things that make life complex instead of just focusing on a romance plot. Because in real life we can't put everything else on pause to fix one issue, no matter how significant it may be.
The subplots are what really made this stand out from what could have otherwise been a generic rom-com. The story also covers change (moving and the awkwardness of a new job), and drives home the importance of going after the life that you truly want instead of lazily staying in the one that has happened to form around you. I also enjoyed the point on pets being family and valuing those precious friendships (human) where the person has become more like family to you.
Really enjoyed this one and loved the author's quotable prose and realistically flawed characters. Top all of this off with a memorable love letter to rival Jane Austen and I'm an instant fan. I'll definitely be looking for more of her books in the future.
-------------------------------------------
Favorite Quote: Uncovering an affair wasn’t a one big fact headline story. It was like Metroyshka dolls, lies inside lies inside lies.
First Sentence: Ann clomped over in her King Kong slippers, with a yoghurt, a spoon and a really annoyed expression.
February 24, 2022
I honestly don’t know how to rate Mhairi McFarlane’s books anymore – but I continue to inhale them one after the other, so I guess that merits a 4 ⭐️
Hilariously, this book has almost the EXACT SAME plot as the last Mhairi McFarlane book I read, If I Never Met You, following a 30-something heroine after her 10+ year relationship has imploded due to cheating. This iteration of that template was published 6 years before If I Never Met You and is a little rougher around the edges, but in a way that I actually enjoyed, and I ended up much preferring It’s Not Me, It’s You. Despite its truly whacky plot, I found Delia charming as a protagonist, and her antagonism / rapport with the eventual hero of the book was more winning to me than the Fake Dating shenanigans of Laurie and Jamie in If I Never Met You.
Hilariously, this book has almost the EXACT SAME plot as the last Mhairi McFarlane book I read, If I Never Met You, following a 30-something heroine after her 10+ year relationship has imploded due to cheating. This iteration of that template was published 6 years before If I Never Met You and is a little rougher around the edges, but in a way that I actually enjoyed, and I ended up much preferring It’s Not Me, It’s You. Despite its truly whacky plot, I found Delia charming as a protagonist, and her antagonism / rapport with the eventual hero of the book was more winning to me than the Fake Dating shenanigans of Laurie and Jamie in If I Never Met You.
May 14, 2016
4,5. Me ha encantado. Por su planteamiento que podría haber estado cargado de clichés y sin embargo está lleno de escenas y diálogos que no esperas. Por el mérito e ingenio que tiene Mhairi. Es cierto que esperaba que el romance se insinuara un poco antes y éste no empieza a intuirse hasta la mitad del libro pero cuando aparece - y sobre todo a partir del 80% - tiene un efecto perfecto. El final es de lo mejorcito de la historia o puede que los protagonistas ya me hubieran conquistado y necesitaba esa guinda final.
Un gustazo, la verdad.
Un gustazo, la verdad.
April 30, 2015
This review can originally be found on Olivia's Catastrophe: http://olivia-savannah.blogspot.nl/20...
As soon as I saw this book on Edelweiss I had to request it! I had read You Had Me At Hello a while ago and absolutely loved it. Ever since then I discovered that this book was to be published the next year (this year) and I was anticipating it for SO long. And then finally I had it! I was a bit surprised that this chick-lit book was about 600 pages. What could possibly go on in this novel that needed so much detail and pages?
This book follows Delia after she discovers that the man she has been dating for years has cheated on her. And she moves to London to start a new life for herself. I loved Delia’s character. She was creative, humorous and had her own independent way of thinking. She also draws a comic which helps her come to decisions on what she wants to do and guides her in her life problems. I got the impression that if I ever met her in real life I would like her a lot!
I found that this book had a very realistic way of dealing with the idea of an affair and a break up. I have never experienced anything like that being only sixteen, but I did get the impression that all the thoughts that ran through Delia’s head were ones people in this situation could be thinking, and that was she did was mostly justified as well.
When she is in London Delia meets Kurt who gives her a very dodgy job. There’s Emma, her best friend from university and Steph her workmate. And then there is also Adam, who manipulates her into becoming a double agent in her workplace. I kind of liked Adam from the beginning and his character kept growing on me because we would never be sure of the reasons for what he did. There is also an online friend who Delia makes and talks to throughout the novel.
There is a love triangle in this book BUT DON’T PANIC because it is one of the most justified love triangles you can ever read about. Of course you are going to get conflicted feelings when you have been with someone for ten years and then you are trying to move on and find someone else, but still have feelings for your old mate. So in that essence, there is a faint love triangle. But mostly I would call it twisted emotions.
There is a lot of referencing in this to other things, like movies and telly shows. There is a lot of British language and I can tell that this is a very British read (which doesn’t mean others won’t like it). But if you aren’t understanding the references and so on I would understand how other people could be confused. I did think some descriptions of setting were a bit overdone and could’ve been better written with much simpler language. But then again, I think that is all part of her writing style.
The only reason that I didn’t give the book the full five stars was that it became a bit long and dragged out in pages (back it being 600 pages long again!) I feel like it could’ve been cut down in some places. But at the same time, I couldn’t stop reading and thoroughly enjoyed it as well. So it was all good ^.^
As soon as I saw this book on Edelweiss I had to request it! I had read You Had Me At Hello a while ago and absolutely loved it. Ever since then I discovered that this book was to be published the next year (this year) and I was anticipating it for SO long. And then finally I had it! I was a bit surprised that this chick-lit book was about 600 pages. What could possibly go on in this novel that needed so much detail and pages?
This book follows Delia after she discovers that the man she has been dating for years has cheated on her. And she moves to London to start a new life for herself. I loved Delia’s character. She was creative, humorous and had her own independent way of thinking. She also draws a comic which helps her come to decisions on what she wants to do and guides her in her life problems. I got the impression that if I ever met her in real life I would like her a lot!
I found that this book had a very realistic way of dealing with the idea of an affair and a break up. I have never experienced anything like that being only sixteen, but I did get the impression that all the thoughts that ran through Delia’s head were ones people in this situation could be thinking, and that was she did was mostly justified as well.
When she is in London Delia meets Kurt who gives her a very dodgy job. There’s Emma, her best friend from university and Steph her workmate. And then there is also Adam, who manipulates her into becoming a double agent in her workplace. I kind of liked Adam from the beginning and his character kept growing on me because we would never be sure of the reasons for what he did. There is also an online friend who Delia makes and talks to throughout the novel.
There is a love triangle in this book BUT DON’T PANIC because it is one of the most justified love triangles you can ever read about. Of course you are going to get conflicted feelings when you have been with someone for ten years and then you are trying to move on and find someone else, but still have feelings for your old mate. So in that essence, there is a faint love triangle. But mostly I would call it twisted emotions.
There is a lot of referencing in this to other things, like movies and telly shows. There is a lot of British language and I can tell that this is a very British read (which doesn’t mean others won’t like it). But if you aren’t understanding the references and so on I would understand how other people could be confused. I did think some descriptions of setting were a bit overdone and could’ve been better written with much simpler language. But then again, I think that is all part of her writing style.
The only reason that I didn’t give the book the full five stars was that it became a bit long and dragged out in pages (back it being 600 pages long again!) I feel like it could’ve been cut down in some places. But at the same time, I couldn’t stop reading and thoroughly enjoyed it as well. So it was all good ^.^
March 31, 2017
I'm officially obsessed with this author. She's also kind of on shit list because, a) I've stayed awake until 2am two nights running - and on busy work week - because I was completely unwilling to leave the world inside of this book (her fault) and, b) the Parsnip incident*. Hard. Fucking. Limit.
So anyway, thanks to the sleep deprivation, my eyes are now like pissholes in the snow and I've drifted into that strange, dreamlike state where I can't always be sure whether I'm awake or napping, but in spite of that, I still know with some certainty that I loved everything about this book.
The story really resonated with me, especially the whole idea of taking stock of your life and wondering what choices have led you here and what alternatives might've taken you elsewhere. Delia has been with her boyfriend for ten years, but shortly after she decides to move things along with him, she discovers that he's been boffing someone else. Omg that hurt to read, I was sad, angry and so fired up, if I'd had a kipper, I'd have stuffed it up his exhaust pipe.
So st 33 Delia is facing some life altering choices, and everything she thought she knew has splintered, forcing her to question every aspect of her life and who she is. There's real pathos and melancholy in this, but at the same time the characters are minutely observed and the warmth and humour had me gripped. I was rooting for Delia and loved watching her come back to life and find the life and love she deserve, but her brother Ralph also deserves a special mention, an unusual character, the contrast between his life choices and his sister's added another level of depth that was unusual for a chic-lit.
There was even a little hint of smut in this, albeit of the very tame variety. Still, you can't have it all.
Complete story, highly recommended.
*The Parsnip incident
So anyway, thanks to the sleep deprivation, my eyes are now like pissholes in the snow and I've drifted into that strange, dreamlike state where I can't always be sure whether I'm awake or napping, but in spite of that, I still know with some certainty that I loved everything about this book.
The story really resonated with me, especially the whole idea of taking stock of your life and wondering what choices have led you here and what alternatives might've taken you elsewhere. Delia has been with her boyfriend for ten years, but shortly after she decides to move things along with him, she discovers that he's been boffing someone else. Omg that hurt to read, I was sad, angry and so fired up, if I'd had a kipper, I'd have stuffed it up his exhaust pipe.
So st 33 Delia is facing some life altering choices, and everything she thought she knew has splintered, forcing her to question every aspect of her life and who she is. There's real pathos and melancholy in this, but at the same time the characters are minutely observed and the warmth and humour had me gripped. I was rooting for Delia and loved watching her come back to life and find the life and love she deserve, but her brother Ralph also deserves a special mention, an unusual character, the contrast between his life choices and his sister's added another level of depth that was unusual for a chic-lit.
There was even a little hint of smut in this, albeit of the very tame variety. Still, you can't have it all.
Complete story, highly recommended.
*The Parsnip incident
September 6, 2017
Mhairi McFarlane is simply incapable of writing a book I don´t love. This one was a bit slow in the beginning but I still enjoyed it.
July 28, 2023
Reread: 4 stars, love!
Read 1:
Well that one was like a ride in the washing machine, on spin.
How ironic: Delia the 'resident sleuth’, who hadn’t noticed her other half had another life.
I can write this review having read all of Mhairi’s books (YAY). It’s Not Me It’s You was a little bit: If I Never Met You and Who’s That Girl. There are always notes of her other stories in her books, because she has a certain style. They do not however, ever feel regurgitated, just like safe reading.
The first 40% of this fell short for me, I didn’t actually feel safe, I felt uncertain, three star territory. I can’t tell you how happy I am, that the second half was amazing and worth it and five stars. Why did I worry? She always brings it home.
The more she got to know him, the less handsome, and more attractive he became. When he laughed, his face contorted into goofy joy. She loved the way he’d shoot her a direct look after deadpanning, and then crumple with delight if she laughed with him.
Okay, so I don’t take kindly to not knowing who my love interest is, this aspect gave me sweaty palms. We had the end of a long term relationship and while I can’t relate to that, I can imagine it. I have given my whole twenties to my husband and whoa if I found myself at 33 and in Delia’s shoes, hmmm. It was written realistically well. I shed tears over Parsnip, too and their bond over him (we both love our cat like a child here). As I mentioned with the washing machine, there was plenty of back and forth, and while dramatic, I come away forgiving of that.. because of THE END.
So there was another two possible guys, I was anxious. Alas, I felt everything between Delia and He Who Won’t Be Spoiled. Mhairi’s books might not really be romance, but the romance is just so all encompassing when it comes. They always have this banter that connects the two so well. I can’t get enough. When I read the love letter, I was so emotional and choked up and in love with him. It alone made me love this book, forever.
How did you say to someone, as greeting: I’ve pushed all the chips on red. Here I am, I’m yours. I hope you meant it.
We had some very special—old and new—friendships in this. I felt so touched, so many times. All of the Ralph stuff too, what a darling he was. The parsnip scene with him—also killed me.
'Oof one night with you and he’s turned into a love letter writer. You must have an incredible pelvic floor.’
This wasn’t as funny as her other books, more serious, but I still laughed heaps. There was one particular cat story that had me going!
It has brought me immense happiness reading all of Mhairi’s books
Read 1:
Well that one was like a ride in the washing machine, on spin.
How ironic: Delia the 'resident sleuth’, who hadn’t noticed her other half had another life.
I can write this review having read all of Mhairi’s books (YAY). It’s Not Me It’s You was a little bit: If I Never Met You and Who’s That Girl. There are always notes of her other stories in her books, because she has a certain style. They do not however, ever feel regurgitated, just like safe reading.
The first 40% of this fell short for me, I didn’t actually feel safe, I felt uncertain, three star territory. I can’t tell you how happy I am, that the second half was amazing and worth it and five stars. Why did I worry? She always brings it home.
The more she got to know him, the less handsome, and more attractive he became. When he laughed, his face contorted into goofy joy. She loved the way he’d shoot her a direct look after deadpanning, and then crumple with delight if she laughed with him.
Okay, so I don’t take kindly to not knowing who my love interest is, this aspect gave me sweaty palms. We had the end of a long term relationship and while I can’t relate to that, I can imagine it. I have given my whole twenties to my husband and whoa if I found myself at 33 and in Delia’s shoes, hmmm. It was written realistically well. I shed tears over Parsnip, too and their bond over him (we both love our cat like a child here). As I mentioned with the washing machine, there was plenty of back and forth, and while dramatic, I come away forgiving of that.. because of THE END.
So there was another two possible guys, I was anxious. Alas, I felt everything between Delia and He Who Won’t Be Spoiled. Mhairi’s books might not really be romance, but the romance is just so all encompassing when it comes. They always have this banter that connects the two so well. I can’t get enough. When I read the love letter, I was so emotional and choked up and in love with him. It alone made me love this book, forever.
How did you say to someone, as greeting: I’ve pushed all the chips on red. Here I am, I’m yours. I hope you meant it.
We had some very special—old and new—friendships in this. I felt so touched, so many times. All of the Ralph stuff too, what a darling he was. The parsnip scene with him—also killed me.
'Oof one night with you and he’s turned into a love letter writer. You must have an incredible pelvic floor.’
This wasn’t as funny as her other books, more serious, but I still laughed heaps. There was one particular cat story that had me going!
It has brought me immense happiness reading all of Mhairi’s books
November 8, 2016
"Det var magien ved Ræven, den hjalp hende til at fokusere og få styr på sig selv, den fortalte en inspirerende historie. Den viste hende, hvad hun skulle sigte imod."
'Det er ikke mig, det er dig' er en af de sjoveste, mest hyggelige og styrkende bøger, jeg længe har læst.
Bogen er realistisk og Delias stemme i historien var så ægte og jordnær, at hun kunne have været hvilken som helst kvinde - de følelser hun har, situationerne hun gennemgår og hvordan hun takler det hele, det kunne lige så godt have været mig.
Altså hvis vi, uden at sige for meget, springer over 'spiondelen' - det virkede lidt fjollet, selv om det, på sin egen sære facon, passede så perfekt ind i historien.
Jeg synes virkelig, at Delia er en fantastisk karakter. Hun er så sød, virkelig en jeg kunne identificere mig med - hvor skørt det end lyder - og så er hun bare skøn.
Det er virkelig bøger som denne, jeg kobler allerbedst af til. Bøger der ikke føles som læsning og med karakterer der pludselig føles som veninder - præcis som Delia gjorde.
På den måde føltes hele min læsning faktisk som en sjov, spøjs og spændende historie, fortalt af en tæt veninde og jeg elskede det.
"Uf. En nat med dig, og så forvandler han sig til en kærlighedsbrevskriver. Du må have en utrolig bækkenbund."
Jeg elskede i høj grad også hele tegneseriedelen af bogen - det var som om at få et blik ind i Delias hoved og jeg synes virkelig ideen er perfekt.
Det understreger virkelig hele temaet med, at vi engang i mellem må være vores egen superhelt - at vi nogle gange ikke skal reddes, men i stedet skal redde os selv.
'Det er ikke mig, det er dig' er den type bog, der giver en varm fornemmelse i kroppen og som bringer et ægte smil frem - absolut fantastisk og virkelig anbefalelsesværdig.
'Det er ikke mig, det er dig' er en af de sjoveste, mest hyggelige og styrkende bøger, jeg længe har læst.
Bogen er realistisk og Delias stemme i historien var så ægte og jordnær, at hun kunne have været hvilken som helst kvinde - de følelser hun har, situationerne hun gennemgår og hvordan hun takler det hele, det kunne lige så godt have været mig.
Altså hvis vi, uden at sige for meget, springer over 'spiondelen' - det virkede lidt fjollet, selv om det, på sin egen sære facon, passede så perfekt ind i historien.
Jeg synes virkelig, at Delia er en fantastisk karakter. Hun er så sød, virkelig en jeg kunne identificere mig med - hvor skørt det end lyder - og så er hun bare skøn.
Det er virkelig bøger som denne, jeg kobler allerbedst af til. Bøger der ikke føles som læsning og med karakterer der pludselig føles som veninder - præcis som Delia gjorde.
På den måde føltes hele min læsning faktisk som en sjov, spøjs og spændende historie, fortalt af en tæt veninde og jeg elskede det.
"Uf. En nat med dig, og så forvandler han sig til en kærlighedsbrevskriver. Du må have en utrolig bækkenbund."
Jeg elskede i høj grad også hele tegneseriedelen af bogen - det var som om at få et blik ind i Delias hoved og jeg synes virkelig ideen er perfekt.
Det understreger virkelig hele temaet med, at vi engang i mellem må være vores egen superhelt - at vi nogle gange ikke skal reddes, men i stedet skal redde os selv.
'Det er ikke mig, det er dig' er den type bog, der giver en varm fornemmelse i kroppen og som bringer et ægte smil frem - absolut fantastisk og virkelig anbefalelsesværdig.
March 5, 2017
This was a very good Chick Lit book. The only problems I had with it was that it was a little bit too long and something that happened near the end of the book that left me wanting to smack Delia in the face and push her in front of a cab.
January 13, 2026
Rereading on Audible 12/2025
Mhairi McFarlane is a master at creating lovable interesting female heroines and matching them up with intriguing mysterious men that they have tons of chemistry with. Her secondary characters are complex and unusual: In this one there is a plethora. There is her best friend Emma, a brilliant lawyer who looks like Marilyn Monroe. "They think they’re dealing with Shirley Temple and discover it’s more Temple of Doom." The internet troll that turns out to be her true friend and a hero (the progression of their friendship and the mystery of who he is a source of anticipation and suspense.) Delia's brother Ralph: Who would have thought I could care so much about an overweight gamer who still lives at home, and fries food for a living? Adam, a ruthless blackmailer who turns into a love interest. Talk about a turnaround! And it made sense! Even Paul, the Cheating Cheater from Cheatville, turns out to have goodness in him. And even the "other woman". And Kurt an evil and dangerous boss even gets off some funny lines and is a source of humor particularly in a hilarious restaurant scene. "‘Fuckin’ troublemakers. If God didn’t want us to eat animals, why did He make them out of meat?’ Our heroine's development and appeal rests with her interactions with all of these supporting players.
Best of all besides the humor, intriguing characters, nailbiting intrigue, lovely romance, and will she or won't she what will she do? suspense, there is some genuine wisdom and insights into the nature of relationships and other things.
My only criticism is with Delia's motivations for compromising her integrity to keep a crap job.
Not half as ashamed as we are at her. Not good in a heroine you want to root for. Even at the end, when she has partially redeemed herself I was still questioning "why?". This book was jam-packed with characters and plot-lines and I was fascinated by every single one. including the fictional fiction character of The Fox.
**re-read on audible** 01/01/2026. Enjoyed this so much. I wasn't so mad at Delia for hanging on to her job this time. I was disappointed she
I really loved the ending. In the end she chose the right path.
Uncovering an affair wasn’t a one big fact headline story. It was like Matroyshka dolls, lies inside lies inside lies.
Mhairi McFarlane is a master at creating lovable interesting female heroines and matching them up with intriguing mysterious men that they have tons of chemistry with. Her secondary characters are complex and unusual: In this one there is a plethora. There is her best friend Emma, a brilliant lawyer who looks like Marilyn Monroe. "They think they’re dealing with Shirley Temple and discover it’s more Temple of Doom." The internet troll that turns out to be her true friend and a hero (the progression of their friendship and the mystery of who he is a source of anticipation and suspense.) Delia's brother Ralph: Who would have thought I could care so much about an overweight gamer who still lives at home, and fries food for a living? Adam, a ruthless blackmailer who turns into a love interest. Talk about a turnaround! And it made sense! Even Paul, the Cheating Cheater from Cheatville, turns out to have goodness in him. And even the "other woman". And Kurt an evil and dangerous boss even gets off some funny lines and is a source of humor particularly in a hilarious restaurant scene. "‘Fuckin’ troublemakers. If God didn’t want us to eat animals, why did He make them out of meat?’ Our heroine's development and appeal rests with her interactions with all of these supporting players.
Best of all besides the humor, intriguing characters, nailbiting intrigue, lovely romance, and will she or won't she what will she do? suspense, there is some genuine wisdom and insights into the nature of relationships and other things.
My only criticism is with Delia's motivations for compromising her integrity to keep a crap job.
Left alone with the last inch of her beer, Delia took stock. She was working for a principle-free sexual harasser who’d spy on and threaten young members of staff he’d sacked, invent cancers, suicides and sex tapes for the press and plotted to throw clients overboard if his machinations were exposed. Not quite what she’d hoped and dreamed for her new life in the capital. Delia was ashamed it had taken her so long to realize what she had to do.
Not half as ashamed as we are at her. Not good in a heroine you want to root for. Even at the end, when she has partially redeemed herself I was still questioning "why?". This book was jam-packed with characters and plot-lines and I was fascinated by every single one. including the fictional fiction character of The Fox.
**re-read on audible** 01/01/2026. Enjoyed this so much. I wasn't so mad at Delia for hanging on to her job this time. I was disappointed she
I really loved the ending. In the end she chose the right path.
In [Paul's] world view, he would always be leading man and she would be his love interest....Now, at last Delia thought of herself as the hero of her own life.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
December 5, 2014
Witty, charming and a little bittersweet, I really enjoyed It's Not Me, It's You, Mhairi McFarlane's third novel.
Delia Moss brushes aside the lacklustre response from her partner of ten years when she proposes, after all he said 'yes' and that was all she wanted to hear. What she can't ignore is the text Paul erroneously sends to her minutes later;
'C...She's proposed. Don't know what to do. Meet tomorrow? Pxx'
C, Delia discovers, is Celine, a twenty four year old student with whom Paul has been having sex for the last few months. Delia is devastated, and after quitting her Council job in the midst of a particularly uncomfortable team bonding seminar, flees to London to stay with her best friend, Emma.
At 33, Delia finds herself having to start again and McFarlane captures her character's initial sense of bewilderment and hurt well and I couldn't help but cheer her on as she slowly gathered strength. Delia has never been a risk taker so she is relieved when she finds a job in a small PR company but it all goes pear-shaped very quickly, her boss is an amoral lecher, and she is blackmailed by a handsome yet unscrupulous journalist, Adam. As the situation grows ever more complicated, Delia is forced into deciding what she really wants to happen next.
An eclectic cast of supporting characters including an internet troll, a Scottish roommate and Delia's fish-and-chip-frying brother add warmth to the story, a disapproving colleague, pompous politician and ridiculous restaurant critic provide the laughs. Parsnip, Delia and Paul's dog, may even bring a tear to your eye.
I was a little disappointed that my digital ARC didn't include Delia's comic strip (I'm assuming the finished copy will) but It's Not Me, It's You is a smart, funny and engaging story of taking risks in love and life.
February 2, 2019
I’m not sure why I love this author. It’s inexplicable. But it doesn’t matter. I am nuts for her long winding stories with blurry hero/bad guys and lots of drinking and bad decisions and incredible humor. I truly don’t want to read anything else.
I think this one was a little darker and sadder than the others. I still think maybe the first one was my favorite. But maybe this one was. I like the awful zany things and weird plots and fabulous supporting cast.
I cannot wait for the next one.
I think this one was a little darker and sadder than the others. I still think maybe the first one was my favorite. But maybe this one was. I like the awful zany things and weird plots and fabulous supporting cast.
I cannot wait for the next one.
February 2, 2022
4 Stars!
What a whirlwind of emotions this felt like for me. It felt so relatable in some senses and it also felt empowering. If I'd of read this a few months ago I feel like it would helped me so much. Seeing Delia grow as a person and come into her own really was my favourite part of this book. Her friendships/relationships that she made and just her overall strength. Some parts I have to admit I questioned her decisions HOWEVER upon reflection it makes sense and it helps to wrap up certain situations.
The downfall of this is the length, I feel like it may be *slightly* too long and some parts in the book felt to be filler.
I however have thoroughly enjoyed this and would definitely recommend especially to anyone who wants to find themselves after a break up.
What a whirlwind of emotions this felt like for me. It felt so relatable in some senses and it also felt empowering. If I'd of read this a few months ago I feel like it would helped me so much. Seeing Delia grow as a person and come into her own really was my favourite part of this book. Her friendships/relationships that she made and just her overall strength. Some parts I have to admit I questioned her decisions HOWEVER upon reflection it makes sense and it helps to wrap up certain situations.
The downfall of this is the length, I feel like it may be *slightly* too long and some parts in the book felt to be filler.
I however have thoroughly enjoyed this and would definitely recommend especially to anyone who wants to find themselves after a break up.
October 8, 2020
I've had a chance to give this some more thought and although I was gonna say it's a 2.5, I think it's actually firmly in the 2 zone.
SPOILER ALERT: this review will contain info on who she ends up with.
Let's start with what I liked.
There was some humor in the book and witty dialogue. This is what usually draws me to books by British authors.
I liked how some of the characters were written, like Emma and Paul. Paul to me was a very real character that you can hate and sympathize with at the same time.
Okay, so onto what I didn't like.
Well, first of all, Delia. Some many times while reading this I just found myself annoyed and sometimes a little disgusted by her behavior.
For one she seemed incapable of discerning what is right from what is wrong. What is truth (or as close as you can get to it) and what is absolute BS. She keeps jumping between Adam (who let's be honest is a bit of an A-hole for the first half of the book) and her boss Kurt, who is a liar, a perv and is obviously doing some shady stuff. Seriously, what is there even to think about? Just stay away from BOTH.
Me: NOOOO, DO YOUR OWN THINKING AND COME TO A CONCLUSION YOURSELF WOMAN!
Then we have her relationship with Joe. Joe is an internet wiz who has social anxiety. Although they weren't friends and Delia can't even remember him, they used to work together at the city council. Apparently, Joe is happy to be a listening ear, hack, create websites and marketing for both Delia and her brother, and the only thing he wants in return is... her friendship. Sorry but in my book if a "friend" only ever messages to complain about her life, asks me to help make a career out of her hobby, asks me to hack into someone's files, AND asks me to help her brother set up a youtube channel, I would say that is one exploitative friend and stop taking their calls. Other than the bit where Delia learns about Joe's social anxiety which led him to stand her up, we see no hint that Delia tries to engage with him in any conversation that is not about her.
Then the relationship part.
I mean it was just a mess. There were so many plotlines interlacing anyway, between Paul and his cheating, Joe the mysterious internet wiz who she might fancy (just for the first 3rd of the book though of course), Adam who is trying to do an expose on her boss, and her boss he wants to get her into bed, then of course Paul again who is desperate to win her back.
I will stop here before I decide to pull it down to one star.
(Review by Yara)
SPOILER ALERT: this review will contain info on who she ends up with.
Let's start with what I liked.
There was some humor in the book and witty dialogue. This is what usually draws me to books by British authors.
I liked how some of the characters were written, like Emma and Paul. Paul to me was a very real character that you can hate and sympathize with at the same time.
Okay, so onto what I didn't like.
Well, first of all, Delia. Some many times while reading this I just found myself annoyed and sometimes a little disgusted by her behavior.
For one she seemed incapable of discerning what is right from what is wrong. What is truth (or as close as you can get to it) and what is absolute BS. She keeps jumping between Adam (who let's be honest is a bit of an A-hole for the first half of the book) and her boss Kurt, who is a liar, a perv and is obviously doing some shady stuff. Seriously, what is there even to think about? Just stay away from BOTH.
‘Oh what, and I was supposed to blindly trust in everything you said?’
‘No, you were meant to do your own asking and thinking and come to a conclusion yourself. It seems you did. Team Kurt all the way.’
(2 minutes or one page later)
‘I can’t believe I ever trusted a word out of your mouth,’ Adam said.
‘The feeling’s mutual,’ Delia said, turned on her heel and left him there.
It wasn’t. She finally believed everything he said.
Me: NOOOO, DO YOUR OWN THINKING AND COME TO A CONCLUSION YOURSELF WOMAN!
Then we have her relationship with Joe. Joe is an internet wiz who has social anxiety. Although they weren't friends and Delia can't even remember him, they used to work together at the city council. Apparently, Joe is happy to be a listening ear, hack, create websites and marketing for both Delia and her brother, and the only thing he wants in return is... her friendship. Sorry but in my book if a "friend" only ever messages to complain about her life, asks me to help make a career out of her hobby, asks me to hack into someone's files, AND asks me to help her brother set up a youtube channel, I would say that is one exploitative friend and stop taking their calls. Other than the bit where Delia learns about Joe's social anxiety which led him to stand her up, we see no hint that Delia tries to engage with him in any conversation that is not about her.
Then the relationship part.
I mean it was just a mess. There were so many plotlines interlacing anyway, between Paul and his cheating, Joe the mysterious internet wiz who she might fancy (just for the first 3rd of the book though of course), Adam who is trying to do an expose on her boss, and her boss he wants to get her into bed, then of course Paul again who is desperate to win her back.
I will stop here before I decide to pull it down to one star.
(Review by Yara)
June 22, 2024
5 Stars
An exhilarating journey through self-discovery, new beginnings, adventure, hijinks, the pursuit of truth and justice, and the whirlwind of falling in love!
What's it about? This is the story of Delia, who after proposing to her beloved, after 10 years together, discovers that he's been having an affair. She moves to London to try to make sense of who she is and what she wants, meeting a cast of eccentric characters, including a very persistent, very handsome, and very infuriating journalist!
The best bits: McFarlane is a master at infusing humour into heartbreaking situations and weaves such an intricate web of characters and settings that you find yourself too entangled to put the book down, even though it's one o'clock in the morning and the kids will be up in four hours!
This book is filled with witty dialogue, laugh-out loud hilarity, and so many twists that the pages practically turn themselves as you fall head-over-heels for Delia and her own roller-coaster ride.
The characters are so well developed and such an integral part of the story. I was most impressed by the fact that nothing, and no one, seems to be mere formulaic "filler". Each character plays an integral part in Delia's self discovery.
And Adam! Oh, Adam! Ms. MacFarlane has managed to create a hero with brains, wit, adventure, self-control, good judgement and amazing card-writing skills! Seriously, I crash-landed in love with him!
Recommended for: If you love strong female leads, secret loves, secret identities, funny attempts at espionage, heroes with personality, and humour on every page, you will LOVE this book!!!
An exhilarating journey through self-discovery, new beginnings, adventure, hijinks, the pursuit of truth and justice, and the whirlwind of falling in love!
What's it about? This is the story of Delia, who after proposing to her beloved, after 10 years together, discovers that he's been having an affair. She moves to London to try to make sense of who she is and what she wants, meeting a cast of eccentric characters, including a very persistent, very handsome, and very infuriating journalist!
The best bits: McFarlane is a master at infusing humour into heartbreaking situations and weaves such an intricate web of characters and settings that you find yourself too entangled to put the book down, even though it's one o'clock in the morning and the kids will be up in four hours!
This book is filled with witty dialogue, laugh-out loud hilarity, and so many twists that the pages practically turn themselves as you fall head-over-heels for Delia and her own roller-coaster ride.
The characters are so well developed and such an integral part of the story. I was most impressed by the fact that nothing, and no one, seems to be mere formulaic "filler". Each character plays an integral part in Delia's self discovery.
And Adam! Oh, Adam! Ms. MacFarlane has managed to create a hero with brains, wit, adventure, self-control, good judgement and amazing card-writing skills! Seriously, I crash-landed in love with him!
Recommended for: If you love strong female leads, secret loves, secret identities, funny attempts at espionage, heroes with personality, and humour on every page, you will LOVE this book!!!
Read
December 27, 2015A great beach read with a sweet heroine warming your heart. You will cheer Delia on as she finds her way through heartbreak and discovers much about herself.
Great cast of characters, all wearing their hearts and emotions on their sleeves. You become very familiar with each one adding to the full spectrum of the narrative. Likable cast given their questionable choices and missteps. You find yourself struggling and hurting along with healing as Delia and Paul attempt to recover. Delia’s heartbreak is quite affecting, her strength admirable, her rollercoaster of emotions plausible. Tough situation to find yourself in, can’t imagine what I would do myself after ten long years together, I could only speculate.
Great one liners will leaving you chuckling throughout the book, McFarlane possesses a comedic gift.
Must say at over 500 pages there were times the story dragged, omitting 200 pages wouldn’t hurt. I do wish more focus was on Delia and Paul as opposed to her new job with Kurt, hearing of her shady boss became tiresome dragging the read, feeling every bit of the whopping 500 pages.
Charming story of one young woman defining herself through heart wrenching circumstances for her and her alone and no one else.
For this and other reviews visit http://ravenhairedgirl.com
Great cast of characters, all wearing their hearts and emotions on their sleeves. You become very familiar with each one adding to the full spectrum of the narrative. Likable cast given their questionable choices and missteps. You find yourself struggling and hurting along with healing as Delia and Paul attempt to recover. Delia’s heartbreak is quite affecting, her strength admirable, her rollercoaster of emotions plausible. Tough situation to find yourself in, can’t imagine what I would do myself after ten long years together, I could only speculate.
Great one liners will leaving you chuckling throughout the book, McFarlane possesses a comedic gift.
Must say at over 500 pages there were times the story dragged, omitting 200 pages wouldn’t hurt. I do wish more focus was on Delia and Paul as opposed to her new job with Kurt, hearing of her shady boss became tiresome dragging the read, feeling every bit of the whopping 500 pages.
Charming story of one young woman defining herself through heart wrenching circumstances for her and her alone and no one else.
For this and other reviews visit http://ravenhairedgirl.com
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