Nice Girls Win: How Kind Women Can Create the Lives They Deserve

by Kelly Ehlers

STOP APOLOGIZING FOR EXISTING. START WINNING AT LIFE.

Ever been called a Nice Girl, as if your only option is to stay quiet, wait your turn, and accept less than you deserve? Who decided being nice means you don’t get to take what’s yours?

For too long, women have been forced into a binary Be the Ice Queen who burns bridges to get ahead, or the Nice Girl who gets left behind picking up the pieces.

We’ve been conditioned to believe our kindness is a liability. That our empathy somehow weakens our ambition. So we shrink ourselves to fit into rooms that were never designed for us… and wait for permission that never comes.

Kelly Ehlers is tearing up that script.

In Nice Girls Win, Ehlers—an award-winning founder, entrepreneur, and leader who scaled multi-million-dollar businesses while navigating pregnancy discrimination and corporate gaslighting—reveals how to turn “nice” into a powerful, strategic advantage in work and life.

This isn’t about becoming harder. It’s about becoming smarter, more confident, and unapologetically self-led.

Inside this bold, practical blueprint for women’s empowerment, leadership, and personal growth, you’ll learn how

Activate Your Use emotional intelligence as a strategic edge to command respect and influence any roomBurn the Invisible Stop overgiving, reclaim your time, and set boundaries that protect your energyExecute the Strategic Build confidence and self-worth by saying no without guiltManifest Your Own Stop negotiating for less and start claiming what you actually deserve
Winning isn’t about self-abandonment; it’s about self-preservation. It’s time to stop playing small… and start owning the world.

You don’t have to choose between being kind and being powerful.

Buy your copy now and start taking what’s yours.

Genres: Nonfiction, Self Help, Professional Development, Business

284 pages, Paperback

Published September 28, 2026

About the author

I wrote Nice Girls Win because I realized I had spent two decades building successful companies while quietly losing myself in the process. This book is the permission slip I wish I had.

Kelly Ehlers is a marketing strategist, entrepreneur, and one of the country's first social media consultants. She is the founder of Evoke Brand Strategies, a four-time Inc. 500 agency that has worked with Kraft Heinz, L'Oreal, Marriott, and GE Appliances, and Tease Media, a B2B media platform reaching more than 600,000 beauty professionals.

After 25 years helping the world's most recognized brands find their voice, Nice Girls Win is the first time she is using her own.

She is also launching the Nice Girls Win podcast alongside the book and speaks on marketing, leadership, and women reclaiming what they deserve.

Reviews

[Colleen Kellas · Rating 3 out of 5]

Thank you netgalley for giving me ALC in exchange of my complete and honest Opinion.

I learned really quickly that I was not the books intended audience. as someone who doesn't have children or am planning on starting a buisness most of the examples given in this book we not applicable. I am sure this works for some other women in the world and power to them. I just dont think its for me. I have suffered with social anxiety for most of my life and this books advice is mostly "Just go and do it" which wont help me.

Song: Who runs the world by Beyonce

[Gee · Rating 5 out of 5]

You know what? Heck yeah girl! “Nice Girls Win” tackles themes of workplace discrimination, feelings of burnout, domestic obligations, carrying the burden of the mental load, the need for external validation, comparison culture, people pleasing, etc. All the heavy hitters every woman can relate to.

As women, we are conditioned to be docile, submissive, palatable, and accommodate others. Ehlers takes those notions and chucks them out the window. I loved how this book juxtaposes embracing those softer parts of yourself, while still being unapologetically assertive enough to maintain boundaries and forge your way in the world.

I listened to this, but the book format has spaces for you to write notes or perform the exercises discussed– which I would take advantage of if I had eyeball-read it. And on that note: I loved that this was narrated by the author because she made this audiobook feel like a soothing, affirming, and empowering conversation with a friend and not preachy.

Be sure to grab a copy when it’s released on September 22, 2026!

Thank you to Kelly Ehlers, Big Circles Media, LLC, and Independent Book Publishers Association (IBPA) for providing this ALC for review consideration via NetGalley. All opinions are my own.

[Amber · Rating 4 out of 5]

In Nice Girls Win, Kelly challenges everything women have been taught about power, ambition, leadership, and success. Through personal stories, hard-earned lessons, and practical strategies, she reveals why kindness isn't a weakness. It's one of the most powerful advantages you can bring to your career, business, and life.

This was a good motivational book that serves as a reminder that you can be nice and still say no, while taking care of yourself and your needs.

Thank you to the author for the gifted copy of this book. All opinions are my own.

[Allie Duax · Rating 4 out of 5]

Alright, I know a lot of people (myself included) loosely read self-help books, picking and choosing chapters that pertain the most to them while skipping some others. But this one, I read (well, listened) the entire damn thing and loved every second of it.

The impact this book left on me honestly kind of shocked me. It caused me to reflect on so many aspects of my life - where I want my career to go, how I can speak up in a crowded room, the good and not so good impacts of people pleasing, learning how to say “no”, putting myself first, escaping the feeling of burnout, etc.

Finishing this book, I feel empowered to reframe the term “nice”. It doesn’t mean you need to be the quiet, keep-to-yourself, and always saying “yes” girl. You can be nice yet still voice your opinion, be loud, and put yourself FIRST - you CAN set boundaries for yourself so you can be the version of yourself, not only for you but for those around you (spouse, kids, friends, etc.)

I highly recommend this to any woman who may work in the corporate world, is experiencing burnout, or is honestly just trying to figure out their dang life!!

Thank you NetGalley and Kelly Ehlers for an advanced copy of this book!!

[Kim · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really connected with this book. There were so many inspiring pieces of advice. I listened to this on audio, and I highly recommend buying the actual book because there are “Nice Girl Notes’ throughout that help you see where you are in your journey to get what you deserve! The author was clear about women’s place in the workforce is a problem with “the system.” It is not a problem with women’s competence. The author is also very clear about not allowing to grind yourself into the ground. This doesn’t make you more valuable in the workforce.

Thanks to Net Galley, the publisher and the author for the audio version of this book in exchange for my honest opinion.

[Lindsayrosereads · Rating 5 out of 5]

" You can be nice and successful. You can be nice and strong. You can be nice and still say no. You can be nice and ask for exactly what you deserve Nice isn't either/or. It's yes/and)."

At first glance, Nice Girls Win sounds like a familiar leadership and self-help book. But Kelly Ehlers takes a different approach by challenging the idea that women have to become harder, louder or more “like men” to succeed.

Instead, she asks us to rethink what nice actually means.

Part memoir, part self-help and part guided self-reflection, this book encourages women to look honestly at what they want, what they deserve and how they personally define success. Not what society, coworkers or everyone around them says success should look like but what feels meaningful to them.

As someone with 20 years in corporate sales training, there were several moments when I felt personally called out. In the best way. This book made me pause, reconsider how I want to be seen and start making new plans for how I want to show up and ultimately define my own version of winning.

My biggest takeaway was the reminder that kindness and strength are not opposites. You can be nice and successful. Nice and confident. Nice and still say no.

Nice Girls Win challenges women to stop shrinking themselves to be more acceptable and start protecting their joy, boundaries, ambition and sense of self without guilt.

A thoughtful, encouraging and interactive read for women who are ready to redefine success on their own terms.

A huge thank you to the author for gifting me an advanced copy! I want to lend it to every woman I know!

[Jade · Rating 4 out of 5]

★ 4 Stars. Review of advanced listeners copy received from NetGalley.

Okay, I honestly didn't expect to love this as much as I did, but wow. If you’re like me and constantly struggling with people-pleasing, carrying the mental load, or feeling completely burnt out, you need to listen to this one.

What I loved most about listening to the audiobook is that Ehlers isn't telling us we have to become cutthroat ice queens to succeed. She basically says keep your kindness, but use it as a strategic weapon instead of letting people walk all over you. The narrator's voice is super clear and powerful too, which made it really easy to stay hooked and actually absorb what she was saying instead of zoning out.

Also—major bonus—she actually gives you assignments where you have to stop and write things down. I'm a sucker for that kind of stuff because it forces you to do the actual work on your boundaries and self-worth rather than just nodding along and forgetting about it five minutes later.

If you're in a bit of a confidence slump or just feeling stuck lately, definitely give this a listen.

[Dedra ~ A Book Wanderer · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'm currently in a self-help phase of my life, working on long-buried issues that have finally surfaced from spiritual trauma, to being a people-pleaser, to putting everyone else first. And it's not pretty. So I ran across this book, read a sample of it, and decided to give it a try, despite knowing nothing about the author. While I did find plenty to use and inspire me, it's mostly geared towards women in careers. But it's easy to apply these lessons to any other areas of life.

I enjoyed the positivity, the concrete helps, the honesty she used to lay out that being nice AND winning can take a lot of work, but it's the best way to be at peace with yourself and others.

She provides a link to a downloadable and printable workbook to use along with the book, although I felt like it wasn't complete. There were many sections in the book that suggest writing responses, but weren't included in the workbook. I found it easier to just use my own journal. It's a lot of information in a short amount of pages, so I found it more helpful to read through it and then go back and work through it like a workbook.

I especially appreciated the chapter about our war with our bodies and aging. She reminds us that we can't heal if we don't love our bodies, that negative thoughts breed negativity and stress, which lives in the body. It can sound frou frou, but for as long as I can remember, my stress reveals itself through my body. It's something I'm always working on.

She also highlighted that we deserve to have fun and find joy. We don't have to earn it by checking off everything on our to-do list. It's essential for our health and should be a priority just like any other activity in our life.

I highlighted so many passages, but here are some of my favorites:

Speaking up is a high-value act of kindness that prevents resentment from building over time.

The hardest part of course-correcting is realizing that when you stop people-pleasing, you will lose people. Not everyone wants the authentic version of you...

Visibility is the practice of being findable for the people you are meant to help.

When you are able to say, "this is no longer for me," you create space and energy for the next thing to arrive.

I received a complimentary copy of this book. Opinions expressed in this review are completely my own. Thank you to Big Circles Media and Netgalley for providing me with an advance copy.

[Katelyn Klein · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was fortunate enough to receive an advanced copy of Nice Girls Win from the author. I was delighted by the fresh tone and healthy perspective Kelly provides her readers. Nice Girls Win is peppered with anecdotes from Kelly’s childhood, young adult, and current life. She has outlined her path with witty stories that kept me engaged, advice that I took to heart, and writing prompts to help break through some of my personal trappings.

As a mother of teenage daughters, this book sends a powerful message that I want my girls to hear, understand, and live out. Nice is not a weakness, it’s a tactical advantage. Nice can disarm a room. Nice does not mean being a pushover. Nice means treating others how you want to be treated. The world is full of too much hate and mean girl BS. This book is a refreshing wake-up call that you don’t have to beat someone down to lift yourself up.

As a woman trying to embrace this next stage in my life, I felt empowered by Chapter Four: ‘Nice Girls Aren’t Falling Behind.’ Kelly nailed it when she asks, ‘How Long is the Runway?’, pointing out that being in your late 40’s doesn’t mean it’s almost quitting time. There are still new hills to climb and ways to grow and shift. The micro practices for owning your own timeline were insightful and inspiring to complete. Again, the focus isn’t being like someone else; it’s creating your own path.

This book delivers to both the young girls just starting out and to the seasoned women who aren’t letting their age tell them it’s too late. I will be adding Nice Girls Win to my repertoire of gifts for all the women in my life. Highly recommend this read!

[Robyn Turp · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for providing this ALC in exchange for an honest review.

I’ve never been someone who dreams of scaling a multi-million-dollar business or building a global brand. The standard "believe to achieve" manifestation mindset and relentless hustle-culture advice really isn't meant for me. Corporate ambition just isn't my path.

However, where this book completely won me over was its exploration of motherhood, the mental load, and the suffocating expectations society places on women.

When the author writes about the "invisible contracts" we sign—the unspoken agreements to always keep the peace, prioritize everyone else’s comfort, and silently carry domestic obligations—I am literally living in this right now. The parts discussing the exhaustion of trying to meet impossible, conflicting expectations as a parent felt deeply validating and painfully accurate.

You don't need to want a corner office to gain something from this book. The chapters on learning to say a "strategic no" and refusing to play the martyr at home resonated with me just as much as they would a CEO. If you can look past the corporate framing, the message about reclaiming your self-worth, setting firm boundaries, and no longer shrinking yourself is something every mother, and woman, needs to hear...now I just need to try and put it into practice!

[Cassie · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book definitely spoke to me as someone who feels like she is a “nice girl” (insert standard phrase of being an eldest daughter, only big sister, gifted child, people pleasing millennial).

Premise:
Ever been called a Nice Girl, as if your only option is to stay quiet, wait your turn, and accept less than you deserve? Who decided being nice means you don’t get to take what’s yours?

For too long, women have been forced into a binary trap: Be the Ice Queen who burns bridges to get ahead, or the Nice Girl who gets left behind picking up the pieces.

This book was a short, fast read that gave me a lot of validation. Plus, the dedication was 🔥

[Reader · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’m not even completely finished reading and I stopped to write a review. As a specialist in Wellness and a spokesperson for Living a Well Lived Life I cannot emphasize enough the importance of these messages of self worth and necessary personal boundaries! Kelly is so right, if we are so worn down with other people’s “stuff” we won’t be healthy or happy enough to be there for the people and goals we actually care about. The messages are simple yet poignant and the prompts are easy but super helpful. Loving Nice Girls Win and feeling very heard!! Thanks Kelly, this is Must read.

[Abby Bartlett · Rating 5 out of 5]

Have you ever walked into a meeting and felt tension in the air? I’m talking Don Draper style male dominated boardroom. In Nice Girls Win, Kelly reminds us that we earned our spot in that boardroom. She teaches us that a quick laugh, a genuine connection, or body language can squash the tension immediately. She wants us to win not by stretching ourselves thin, but by saying no where we can, use warmth as a superpower, and to own the respect we earned. Kudos to Kelly for opening up on her own personal challenges, for overcoming them, and for taking this opportunity to help create other rising leaders…on their own terms.

[Tara · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book spoke to me before the chapters even began. The prologue section about what you deserve especially stood out. This is a hard thing for me because of things I've been through. I don't really ever ask "what do I deserve?", but I'm going to start.

Stopping the apology loop also stood out because I am always the first one to apologize. I am going to work on building my confidence.

The I'm fine explosion is me to a T. I am constantly just saying I'm fine until it bubbles over. I need to be more honest with myself and other people. Kelly hit it perfect by saying about wearing a mask.

[Demetri Papadimitropoulos · Rating 3 out of 5]

When Competence Becomes a Vanishing Act
Kelly Ehlers’s “Nice Girls Win” Asks What Happens When Being Capable, Kind, and Indispensable Leaves a Woman Missing From Her Own Life
By Demetris Papadimitropoulos | August 28th, 2026

Disappearance is not always dramatic. Sometimes it looks like competence. In Kelly Ehlers’s “Nice Girls Win: How Kind Women Can Create the Lives They Deserve,” it looks like a successful company, children, crises absorbed before anyone else notices them, and the reflexive promise, “I’ll take care of it.” Ehlers begins not with failure but with the stranger terror of succeeding at a life in which she can no longer quite locate herself. Crying in the snow while throwing a ball for her dog, she discovers that achievement has not prevented absence. The question is already there: What if the qualities that made you indispensable also made it possible to vanish?

Ehlers learned that lesson early and in the body. She remembers clipping a hurdle, wrenching her ankle, and being told by her mother to get up; later, a frightened heifer drags her over rocks because her father has ordered her not to release the halter. Pain is something to override. Endure, minimize it, win if you can. Niceness enters as both grace note and leash. Be pleasant while persevering; accommodating while excelling. Take the hit without becoming unpleasant about it. The adult Ehlers eventually sees the bargain clearly: approval comes cheaply when suffering looks effortless.

Much of “Nice Girls Win” tries to break that bargain without discarding the warmth that helped create it. Ehlers wants to rescue niceness from weakness, passivity, and the vaguely beige compliment bestowed on women who have caused nobody any inconvenience. Her Nice Girl is warmer and harder to exploit: generous without martyrdom, ambitious without becoming punitive, capable of saying no without staging an operetta of guilt. This could have been another rebrand of female self-improvement. It becomes more interesting when inspiration gives way to behavior. Kindness means more when it can be withheld. A yes extracted by fear of disappointing someone is compliance wearing lip gloss.

Equally revealing is Ehlers’s refusal to exempt herself. She recalls working from a hospital setting after giving birth and pushing the anxiety of her own overperformance onto an employee. At the time, she treated such behavior as evidence of professional seriousness. In retrospect, the refusal to acknowledge limits looks less like toughness than a demand she passed down the hierarchy. That admission prevents grievance from hardening into innocence. Ehlers was injured by demanding systems, but she also absorbed them well enough to reproduce some of their demands. A survival skill can become a management style after the emergency has passed.

That early training gives the book’s treatment of martyrdom its bite. Ehlers notices the covert vanity that can hide inside endless helpfulness. People-pleasing may look altruistic from across the room, but up close it can contain a demand: notice what I do, understand what I sacrifice, reassure me that I matter. Resentment is the invoice that arrives later. Here her slogans become tools rather than branding: the “Invisible Ask,” the “Warm No,” the “Quiet Win,” a boundary imagined as a map rather than a wall. They work because they convert emotional weather into observable behavior.

Rhythm, in Ehlers’s hands, behaves like a keynote. Her sentences arrive in bursts: anecdote, confession, command, fragment, joke, challenge, affirmation. She favors emphatic short lines, rhetorical questions, paragraphs built to be underlined. The voice is candid, profane, affectionate, and occasionally exhausting. Propulsion comes more naturally to her than restraint. A good observation may be restated, metaphorized, turned into a maxim, then followed by an exercise that asks the reader to discover it again. In a workbook, this is rehearsal. In an argument, the landing gear can stay down after the plane has landed.

Its weakness grows directly from that confidence. Ehlers writes against apology, so the prose rarely apologizes; she writes about visibility, so she makes herself conspicuous. Her paragraphs do not enter a room sideways. The assurance that works when she says a boundary may preserve a relationship becomes less trustworthy when she turns to physiology, manifestation, energetic frequency, and the responsiveness of reality. The voice stays almost perfectly level while the evidentiary ground changes beneath it.

Put Chapter 8 beside the later manifestation chapters and the book exposes its hardest contradiction. Ehlers argues with the tradition represented by Sheryl Sandberg’s “Lean In,” objecting to empowerment advice that converts structural failures into private homework. Childcare, discrimination, class disparities, racism, unequal domestic labor, and hostile workplaces are not all confidence problems in costume. Sometimes the room is badly built; asking women to become more resilient inside it can amount to asking them to upholster their own trap. Her shorthand is useful: distinguish the “me” problem from the “system” problem. Her answer is collective as well as personal: build different rooms, bring other women in, and tell a deficiency in yourself from one in the structure.

After Chapter 8, that standard begins to wobble. Ehlers increasingly assigns unusual causal power to internal alignment. Gratitude becomes frequency; visualization becomes biological rewiring; desired outcomes are approached through energetic states. As a description of directed attention, the practice needs little defending. Deciding what one wants can change what one notices, asks for, attempts, and persists at. That is consequential enough without cosmic machinery.

Problems arrive when metaphor presents itself as mechanism. Ehlers’s gratitude practice, visualization, and future-self exercises do not need scientific grandeur; they weaken when speculative explanation arrives with the confidence of settled fact. The issue is not spirituality. A self-help memoir may believe in God, the universe, synchronicity, or all three before breakfast. The issue is causation: “this practice changed how I lived” is not “this is how reality works.” Ehlers is so committed to certainty that qualification can sound almost impolite. Yet qualification is sometimes simply accuracy.

A simpler claim does more work than the larger ones: self-erasure can masquerade as virtue. The Nice Girl who never says no may be praised for generosity while teaching everyone that her time is endlessly available. The mother who remembers every appointment becomes the household’s unpaid operating system. The employee who accepts every extra assignment converts fear into labor. Competence is not merely tiring here; it is self-reinforcing. The more reliably a woman carries, the more gets handed to her. Ehlers’s answer is choice: generosity that can survive a boundary.

Desire, though, is where the book finally becomes more than a boundary manual. Ehlers begins numb, with much to appreciate and little access to wanting. Her park-bench ritual starts with gratitude, then adds the more dangerous question: What do I deserve? The word recurs until Chapter 17, when she answers in comic abundance: a waterfront home, family closeness, wealth, philanthropy, travel, tenderness, books, stages, grandchildren, pajamas, tea, sunsets, a boat, cold rosé. Minimalists may require smelling salts. But the excess has a purpose. A woman who could not feel her life can finally describe one.

In Chapter 17, the inventory is more emotionally convincing than metaphysically convincing. Its value lies less in whether the universe delivers than in the act of articulation itself. Many women become fluent in everyone else’s preferences while treating their own as optional data. Dinner? Whatever you want. Vacation? I’m easy. Weekend? Doesn’t matter. Ehlers catches the small evasions through which desire can atrophy. Her remedy is almost comically direct: decide. Risk being inconvenient. Want something before proving it useful to somebody else. “Deserve” may be a morally loaded verb, but the exercise beneath it is lucid.

Money, too, becomes most interesting when stripped of mystique. Chapter 10 treats wealth less as status than as exit capacity: the ability to leave a destructive relationship, refuse a bad client, pay employees well, help a friend, or absorb the cost of saying no. Ehlers’s history of building a company while she and her husband were cash-strapped gives the subject friction. The chapter weakens when abundance becomes magnetic and financial success is tied too neatly to energetic alignment. The cleaner proposition survives: refusal is easier when it does not threaten survival.

Its breadth has a price: repetition. Visibility, bodies, risk, fun, money, confidence, and manifestation often drink from the same conceptual well: protect your energy, stop outsourcing validation, define what you want, notice your body, take the risk, say no, practice gratitude. Because Ehlers wants “Nice Girls Win” written in and revisited as a workbook, recurrence has a pedagogical purpose. Still, several chapters feel less like new rooms than freshly rearranged furniture. The manuscript could lose pages without losing substance.

The repeated “nice girls…” chapter titles slowly sabotage the phrase they keep repeating. Nice girls are confident; nice girls say no; nice girls have boundaries; nice girls become visible; nice girls take risks; nice girls define success; nice girls win. By the end, Ehlers’s Nice Girl barely resembles the manageable figure the phrase evokes. She is assertive, financially autonomous, comfortable disappointing people, willing to walk away. One begins to wonder whether Ehlers has reclaimed the category or simply built a woman sturdy enough to outgrow it.

Repetition also changes the word “winning.” As a child, Ehlers understands it through endurance and hierarchy: get up, hold on, finish. Later it means growth, recognition, and keeping every plate spinning. The book wisely withholds its final definition until those versions have been dismantled. By Chapter 18, winning has become private: a personal scoreboard, a choice about what counts, a life measured by whether its owner feels present inside it. The summit no longer matters because somebody else is below. That reversal gives the modular workbook something like a plot.

Of the books orbiting the same problem, two sharpen Ehlers by contrast. Mel Robbins and Sawyer Robbins’s “The Let Them Theory” offers release through letting others behave as they will; Ehlers prefers intervention and structure-building. Tara Mohr’s “Playing Big” also addresses female self-silencing and ambition, though Ehlers mixes founder memoir, management vocabulary, and spirituality more freely. She is less interested in helping women perform hostile environments gracefully than in asking why they should keep accepting the assignment.

People keep handing work to the person who reliably says yes, and Ehlers understands that trap with unnerving accuracy. The woman she keeps describing is scheduler, emotional buffer, household project manager, reliable colleague, birthday rememberer, emergency contact. No workbook can abolish the conditions behind that labor, and Ehlers knows it. The contradiction appears when later chapters forget what Chapter 8 understood. Agency matters. Constraints do too. A philosophy becomes less humane when every disappointment can be reread as insufficient alignment.

Overstatement grows from the same quality that gives the book its voltage: Ehlers believes in momentum. The next brave thing, the next reframing, the next room entered with shoulders back. But escalation can masquerade as development. If gratitude helps, more gratitude starts sounding transformative; if visualization helps, visualization starts sounding causal; if attention changes behavior, positivity starts sounding like a law. “Nice Girls Win” does not need that escalation. Changed behavior is ordinary only until one remembers how difficult it is.

Utility is not the same as persuasion. I land at 79/100, or 3/5 stars. Its practical and emotional intelligence repeatedly approaches a higher tier, then loses precision when certainty outruns evidence. Ehlers persuasively describes what women can change in their behavior, relationships, and definitions of success. She is less persuasive when those changes become an explanation of reality. The frustration is simple: the smaller argument is already substantial.

Like the book’s best passages, Ehlers herself refuses to become neat. She can be competitive, tender, vain, funny, ambitious, embarrassed, and self-correcting within a few pages. Those contradictions keep authority from becoming sainthood. She is not presenting a finished self. She leaves the seams visible where an old idea of strength had to be unpicked.

One wishes she trusted those seams more. Her story already contains the proof she needs: pregnancy discrimination toughness could not prevent, achievement overwork could not make meaningful, leadership habits she had to unlearn, resentment exposing false generosity, money making refusal possible, boundaries clarifying love. The ordinary world supplies enough evidence. She need not make it vibrate.

Still, Ehlers’s excess is not wholly detachable from her charm. A more cautious “Nice Girls Win” might also be a duller one. There is pleasure in watching an author who carried too much decide that she now wants everything. The corrective arrives with confetti, but the book’s best reversal is quieter. Ehlers was raised to think winning meant continuing no matter the cost. By the end, the harder achievement is knowing what not to carry, whom not to please, which room is not worth entering, and what desire remains after the audience leaves. A woman who has spent years holding everyone else’s bags finally sets some down and discovers that her hands are free.

[ailada · Rating 3 out of 5]

Thank you NetGalley for the ARC!
-
Some solid advice on boundaries, confidence, and remembering that burnout isn’t a personality trait. I appreciated the reminder that women aren’t the problem, the system is. However, a lot of the advice boiled down to “just do it,” which, thanks, anxiety is cured!

The examples also felt geared towards aspiring CEOs and mums, and listening to a workbook on audio isn’t exactly ideal.
Useful reminders, a little too much motivational cheerleading, and not quite the life-changing wisdom it thinks it is.

[Angel (ACC REVIEW MEDIA) · Rating 5 out of 5]

UPDATE:
I was blessed to have the time to come back and finish this book properly, and I’m so glad I did.
Nice Girls Win went from a 4-star read to a 5-star read for me.

The more time I spent with it, the more empowering, motivating, and thought-provoking it became. This book made me reflect on the ways women are often taught to make themselves smaller, quieter, more agreeable, or more accommodating — and how kindness does not have to mean sacrificing confidence, ambition, boundaries, or success.

What I love most is that Kelly Ehlers never suggests women have to become harder or less compassionate to succeed. The message is that you can be kind, confident, ambitious, successful, and completely yourself at the same time.
The interactive and workbook portions are such an important part of the experience, and I’m glad I waited until I could actually give them the attention they deserved.

This will without a doubt be a reread for me — the kind of book I can see myself reaching for when I feel a little lost and need a reminder of who I am, what I’m capable of, and that kindness does not have to come at the expense of ambition.


So many women are taught, directly or indirectly, that being kind means being accommodating, agreeable, quiet, or willing to put everyone else first. This book pushes back on that idea and makes the case that kindness and ambition absolutely can coexist.

Kelly Ehlers encourages women to embrace confidence, boundaries, authenticity, and success without feeling like they have to become harder or less compassionate in the process. That message alone is one I think a lot of women need to hear.

This is also a very interactive book, and I think that is probably where much of its real value lies. It isn't meant to be something you simply fly through and put back on the shelf. There are opportunities to stop, reflect, and actually engage with what you're reading.

And that is exactly why I'm putting it aside for now.
I simply don't have the time at this moment to give the interactive portions the attention they deserve, and I don't want to rush through them just to say I finished. I would much rather come back to this when I have the space to actually do the work.

So this isn't a DNF. It's a “I'm coming back when I can do this properly.”

The message is empowering, the concept is strong, and I think Nice Girls Win could be an incredibly valuable read for women learning that they don't have to choose between being kind and going after the life they want.

I’m giving it 4 stars because I truly feel that I got 4 stars out of this book. It was so engaging, and I cannot wait to sit down, take the time it deserves, and completely immerse myself in the workbook portion.

[Karen · Rating 2 out of 5]

Thank you to NetGalley, the author, and publisher Big Circles Media, LLC for this 2-star audio ARC.

The author herself narrated the audiobook, which is something I particularly enjoy in nonfiction. I often feel a deeper connection to the material when I hear it directly from the person who wrote it. I listened to this audiobook during my early morning workouts, and for the first couple of days, it really worked for me. While I wasn't hearing new ideas, I still felt motivated and empowered. I found myself heading into my hectic mornings and busy workdays thinking, I've got this.

But, things changed.

Around the 41% mark, the tone of the book shifted significantly for me. The author began referencing other self-help books and authors, not to build on their ideas or offer thoughtful critiques, but seemingly to point out what she felt was wrong with them. This approach felt at odds with the very premise of Nice Girls Win, which promises to show readers "how to turn 'nice' into a powerful, strategic advantage in work and life."

I couldn't help but wonder: is that really happening when you're putting down other authors and their journeys?

I've read or listened to three of the books she specifically mentioned. While I didn't find those books particularly life-changing either, they never relied on criticizing others to make their point. Because of that shift, I struggled to get through the remainder of the book and the reason for the two star rating.

[Melodi · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a NICE guide on how to win as a Nice Girl! The premise absolutely delivers on its promise, offering an encouraging and refreshing perspective. I don't usually gravitate toward self-help books, but I genuinely enjoyed this one. The advice feels approachable, practical, and empowering without becoming overly preachy or repetitive.

What stood out to me most was the author's sincerity. Her genuine personality shines through the pages, making the experience feel more like receiving advice from a friend than reading a traditional self-help book. I even had the pleasure of exchanging emails with her, and she was just as warm and authentic in our correspondence! (I received this book as an ARC.) Overall, an enjoyable and uplifting read that I'd definitely recommend!

[Ella (DearFuturePublisher) · Rating 5 out of 5]

Nice Girls Win is a battle cry for every woman who was taught that being good meant putting herself last. It dares us to stop shrinking, stop apologizing for wanting more, and reclaim the space we were taught to surrender. Being kind was never the problem. Believing we had to disappear to prove it was.

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Sometimes a book finds you at exactly the right moment, and Nice Girls Win somehow found me when I really needed it.🤍 I was scrolling through emails, responding to authors and readers, when I received an email from Kelly asking if I would be interested in reading her book. Right now, I'm working, raising a child, managing a household, and trying to build a business of my own. I'm pouring into a lot of things and, if I'm being completely truthful, I'm running on empty.

Then Kelly described her book as "dismantling the idea that women have to choose between being kind and being powerful."

Okay. You have my attention.

I accepted the book.

And less than five pages in, she asked a question I was completely unprepared for: "What do you deserve?"

She follows it with: “I would bet that 99% of women have never thought about that phrase in their lives. Want? Sure. Like to have? Of course. But deserve?”

I couldn't answer it.

My brain immediately started finding reasons I shouldn't even be asking the question. What about those who don't have a roof over their heads? What about people who don't have enough food? Why do I deserve more than they do?

And somewhere in that spiral I realized... that's the point.

I couldn't even consider what I deserved without immediately making it about somebody else.

Then came another line that felt uncomfortably personal: “Women are often so used to serving others that they lose the ability to identify their own desires.”

Hi. Hello. It's me. 🙋‍♀️ But also, why you gotta call me out like that?

So I kept coming back to two questions: What do I desire? What do I deserve? And I wish I could tell you I reached the end of the book and suddenly had beautiful answers written in my journal.

I don't.

I'm still struggling with the word deserve.

And maybe that's why this book affected me so much.

It made me recognize how much of my thinking about ambition, gratitude, boundaries, motherhood, work, and wanting more has been shaped by what I've been taught a “nice” woman should be. I'm still unpacking how much of that came from family, religion, society, and myself.

Meanwhile, I'm tired. I'm giving a lot of myself away. I'm learning to say no. I'm trying to establish better boundaries. I'm also realizing that wanting more for myself doesn't mean I'm ungrateful for the life I already have, because I have so much to be grateful for.

Anyways. Apparently I'm having a small existential crisis courtesy of Kelly Ehlers, so that's cool. 😂

But I'm also leaving this book ready to actually do something with those realizations. I'm going to start using the journaling exercises instead of simply thinking about the questions and moving on. I'm passing this copy to another woman in my life, because I genuinely think women need to have these conversations with themselves. And I'm probably buying myself another copy. Because I'm not finished with this book yet.

I still don't know exactly what I deserve. I don't have some perfectly defined vision of the life I'm supposed to build from here. But I do know I'm tired of pouring from an empty cup and calling it being a “nice girl.”

Maybe I don't need all the answers yet.

Maybe I just need to stop feeling guilty for asking the question.

What do I deserve?
I'm ready to find out.

✨Because this nice girl is ready to win. ✨

[Brit Talks Books · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 ⭐️

I received an advance copy of *Nice Girls Win* through NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. As always, these are my genuine thoughts and opinions on the book.

I was lucky enough to immersive read this one using both the e-book ARC and audiobook, and I really enjoyed experiencing it in both formats.

I think this is a great introduction to self-help for someone who hasn't read much of it but wants to explore things like setting boundaries, building confidence, practising gratitude, and figuring out how to build a life you actually love.

REWIRE YOUR BRAIN! Neuroplasticity, baby! 😂

For someone who has read a lot of self-help, some of the concepts may feel familiar or repetitive, but honestly, I didn't mind that. A lot of these are things we KNOW we're supposed to do, but knowing something and actually exercising that muscle every day are two different things. I liked the reminders to find gratitude in small, everyday things, like the sun on your face, the smell of coffee, or your dogs. It's easy to forget those little things when you're just going through everyday life.

I REALLY liked that this is basically a workbook/journal in book form. It actually gives you questions and exercises that make you stop and look at your own thought patterns rather than just reading about these concepts and moving on.

I also appreciated that the author acknowledges we're not all starting from the same place. Things like class, race, sex, and our individual circumstances can affect the opportunities and challenges we experience. I liked that the book recognizes those differences rather than suggesting mindset alone can fix everything.

This may be geared a little more toward career-focused women, but I liked that the author also acknowledges that "work" can mean running a household, organizing kids' schools and activities, managing family life, etc.

Overall, I really enjoyed this one. It's especially great for someone newer to self-help, but even seasoned self-help readers can probably use the reminder that knowing what we should be doing isn't always the same as actually doing it.

[Jaimie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I don't know where to start with this one. Reading something like this is so far outside of my normal, but after seeing several others talking about it, I wanted to step out of my comfort zone and try something different.

I was not disappointed and I honestly did not expect this to hit me the way that it did. This really got me thinking about so many different things in my life both past and present. The themes around workplace discrimination, feelings of burnout, always carrying the burden and putting others first, and people pleasing really resonated with me. I have been a female in the corporate world for 20+ years now and I have felt all of these things.

Some things in here I have already been working on and others I haven't, but this reinforced the fact that I need to think about myself sometimes and what I deserve. That was definitely one of the questions that I could not answer.

The reminder that success can look different for everybody and that we can build something incredible while still pulling other women up with us was one thing I really loved. Often times people forget this. That little bit of support can mean the world. There's enough space for everybody.

The way that she encourages women to embrace boundaries, authenticity, and success without feeling like they have to become harder in the process is what I think a lot of people need to hear.

I listened to this one. Kelly did the narration herself which I actually really enjoyed. There are interactive portions throughout the book which I think are really great exercises, and while I wasn't able to do them while I was listening, I will be going back to them.

One of the things that kept popping into my head as I was listening was how many other people I felt this would resonate with, so what am I going to do with that? I am going to gift some amazing women this book and hope that it will resonate with them the way that it did for me.

Huge thank you to Kelly for reaching out and sharing this book with me. It was definitely something that I needed to hear!

[janine jarman · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’ve been a fan of Kelly’s for years, so I honestly couldn’t wait to read Nice Girls Win. But I didn’t expect it to hit me quite the way it did.

As a salon owner and beauty brand founder, I’ve read a lot of entrepreneur books. And if I’m being honest, sometimes they leave me feeling like I’m supposed to be someone I’m not. So much of the business world can feel very corporate, very formulaic, and honestly, a little stale. Especially when you didn’t go to college or take the traditional path into entrepreneurship.

Nice Girls Win felt different.

It reminded me that there is so much value in the things that don’t always fit neatly into a business plan. Creativity, intuition, connection, personality, curiosity, and joy. The very things that made me want to build something in the first place.

This book gave me permission to lean back into my talents instead of constantly wondering if I’m doing things the “right” way. It gave me that little spark of, oh yeah, this is why I love what I do.

And I especially loved the reminder that success doesn’t have to be a solo sport. We can build something incredible, take up space, win, and still reach back and pull other women up with us.

That part really stayed with me.

I finished this book feeling lighter, more energized, and honestly more excited about my own path. Not because I suddenly have all the answers, but because I was reminded to trust what I already bring to the table.

And that’s what Kelly does so well. She makes you feel like there’s more possibility than you thought, and somehow makes you want to bring everyone you love along for the ride.

If you’re building something of your own, especially if your path doesn’t look perfectly traditional, I really think this is a much-needed read.

[Lovelymisanthrope · Rating 4 out of 5]

I received an audiobook ARC of this novel thanks to NetGalley.
"Nice Girls Win" is a novel that hopes to inspire women to break out of the box they are so often forced into and become the version of themselves that they have always wanted to be. "Nice" may not be all that nice of an adjective. Too often "nice" is synonymous with "pushover", and it may even go as far as "nice" in part means "pushover". But what would life look like if women were nice AND stood their ground?
I think this is a great novel for every woman to read because I think there is something for every woman to gain. This novel is meant to be read while you are doing self-reflection work. So, if you want to get the most out of this novel, you will want to plot out time to be able to journal while you read so you can reflect on your own life.
I appreciated that the author peppered in elements of her own life throughout this novel, but it never felt like it became an autobiography. She always shared her own experiences and mindsets to help highlight the point she was trying to make.
I do think, at times, this novel felt a little redundant. I loved all of the messaging, and I think it presents some really powerful ideas that cause the reader to reflect, but it also suffers from a bit of circular logic and repetition.
I really enjoyed the audiobook of this novel. It was wonderfully produced and I still felt like I was able to do a lot of reflection while listening. I feel like a better version of me after finishing this audiobook.
I definitely recommend this to the woman who wants to tap into her greatest potential.

[Christen · Rating 5 out of 5]

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ (5/5 Stars) — *Nice Girls Win* by Kelly Ehlers
Narration Rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
WOW. I truly needed this book right now.

In a culture that constantly preaches the "girl boss / tiger boss" grindset, *Nice Girls Win* feels like a breath of fresh air. It’s a compelling reminder that we don't have to turn into cold, ruthless versions of ourselves to succeed—we just need to learn how to advocate for ourselves without losing our empathy.

As a self-proclaimed "nice girl" who wears every relatable badge—eldest daughter, big sister, healthcare worker, caregiver, people-pleasing millennial, and someone navigating masked ADHD until I simply couldn't anymore—this book spoke directly to my soul.

The biggest gut-punch takeaway for me? My obsession with personal toughness and default setting of "I'm fine, everything is fine. Ehlers puts words to the exact struggle of suppressing your own needs just to keep the peace or keep carrying the load. I am officially trying to erase "I'm fine" from my vocabulary when I am clearly not.

The audiobook narration was absolutely phenomenal. The tone, pacing, and emotional connection made the material fly by and feel completely authentic—like having a wise, reassuring conversation with a friend who just *gets it*.

If you are a high-achieving, care-taking, people-pleasing woman feeling exhausted by the pressure to carry it all with a smile --pick this up immediately

Thank you to NetGalley, the publisher, and the author for providing an ALC of this book in exchange for my honest review.

[Sarah · Rating 4 out of 5]

An easy and enjoyable listen as an audiobook. Lot’s of valuable information, and the author is personable and engaging. Nice Girls Win covers so many important topics, such as workplace discrimination, burnout, remembering to play and have fun, confidence, saying No, setting boundaries, self love and the importance of taking care of yourself. I found so many of the 18 chapters to personally resonate with me and where I am in my life and career. While the book feels geared toward women who are focusing on career growth the author does acknowledge that there are other forms of work outside of a standard career. She mentions the mental load, running a household, caring for children, and managing family life are also work.

I also liked that throughout the book there were prompts to take your own notes, questions were posed and it appears that the print copy of the book would have space to record your answers as you read! I think there would be a lot of value in a print copy of the book to fully take advantage of the workbook portion and reflect during and after each chapter on the information and how it might apply to you as a reader!

This was a refreshing read and I really enjoyed the message that you can be kind and ambitious, you can be compassionate and assertive. Being a nice doesn’t mean being docile, letting people walk all over you or use you. You can reach your goals and be successful without being cold and unfeeling!

ARC via NetGalley

[Melanie Artis Wuertzer · Rating 5 out of 5]

Book: 5 stars!
Narrator: 4.5 stars!

Let me start by saying that if I had not been given a free copy of the audiobook to review, I doubt I would have picked this book up. Self-help “girl boss” books have never been my cup of tea.

First of all, the author would bang me upside the head for using the phrase “girl boss” and her book in the same sentence, and I am sorry! One thing that was so downright surprising about this audiobook was just how much the author tries to pull the listener out of the “girl boss” and “you can do anything you put your mind to” philosophy that we women have been fed for the past two decades, and instead focuses on how a situation makes you FEEL.

Now this is not a “touchy feely” book; the author still expects the listener to work hard in their work and personal lives. However, over and over again the author reminds us that the ability to “say no” needs to come back into our vocabulary.

I don’t know what else to say—I can go on and on about how well this book lays things out without making you feel like either an idiot or a kindergartner. However, if you are anything like me, all you really want to know is, “Does this book suck?”

The answer is no, and I will be picking up a physical copy when it goes on sale.

[Melanie Green · Rating 5 out of 5]

Nice Girls Win rejects the idea that women have to choose between being kind and being taken seriously. Kelly Ehlers argues that empathy, warmth, ambition, boundaries, and confidence can exist in the same person, and that being a “nice girl” only becomes a problem when kindness turns into silence, overgiving, or making yourself smaller.

I have spent a lot of my career in leadership and communications, and this hit on situations I have seen over and over. Women are often expected to be agreeable, capable, accommodating, and somehow never visibly tired by any of it. The sections on saying no, protecting your time, and questioning the invisible rules you have been following felt especially relevant to me.

I listened to the audiobook, which Kelly Ehlers narrates herself, and I think that format suits the material. It feels more like listening to someone talk honestly about lessons she learned the hard way than sitting through a formal business book. I also appreciated that she talks about burnout, mental load, and family responsibilities alongside career ambition rather than pretending work exists in isolation.

My sincere thanks to the publisher and NetGalley for providing me with a free advance listening copy.

[Julie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Nice Girls Win is a no-nonsense motivational book for nice and kind women who need to hear that they deserve to come first. How often do we put everyone else above ourselves and our needs? This book reminds us that winning in life is a personal journey, and that we need to name and focus on what we want. The book has great nuggets of advice to sit with and contemplate, but I most loved the boundaries chapter and the nice girls deserve it all chapter.

Each chapter ends with micro practices to put the topic to work and give you a moment to pause and absorb the message. This is a great book for women of all ages, reminding us we don't have to be a villain to have a happy, successful life.

The audiobook is narrated by the author, Kelly Ehlers, which makes for a nice motivational podcast-style listen, or even an immersive read if you read the print book and listen along. The print book is the best way to consume this message because it serves a dual purpose, being a journal with prompts and space to write your thoughts and feelings.

I received a lovely print copy of Nice Girls Win from the author, plus an audio copy via NetGalley.

[Danny Stojanovska · Rating 4 out of 5]

NICE GIRLS WIN – Kelly Ellhers

Sometimes it's good to step outside our usual reading comfort zone and give a completely different kind of book a chance.

*Nice Girls Win* was a different reading experience for me, as this isn't the type of book I usually reach for. I naturally gravitate more towards thrillers, mysteries and fantasy, but I wanted to try something different, and I'm glad I did.

What I enjoyed most was the message behind the book. It encourages women to stop living according to everyone else's expectations, to recognize their own worth, and to understand that being kind doesn't mean constantly putting themselves last.

I particularly liked the reminders about confidence, personal growth, ambition and finding a version of success that genuinely makes you happy.

Even though this isn't my usual genre, I found the book interesting, enjoyable and thought-provoking. It gave me a different perspective and reminded me that sometimes the best reading experiences come from trying something outside our comfort zone.

It may not have become one of my all-time favourites, but I'm definitely glad I gave it a chance.

Rating: 4/5 ⭐

💗 Sometimes, reading something different is exactly what we need.

Have you ever read a book outside your usual genre and ended up enjoying it more than expected?