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Cuando él te engaña: Cómo sanar las heridas del engaño y la traición
Por la autora del bestseller Cuando el amor es odio
"Mentir es un arma segura para demoler la autoestima y destruir relaciones. Esta utilísima guía nos muestra cómo detectar las mentiras en aquellos que amamos para luego confrontarlos, y trabajar para superar la traición de modo que podamos renacer más fuertes y sabias que nunca."
Ellen McGrath
¿Alguna vez te ha mentido aquel que amas?
En este libro, directo y práctico, Susan Forward nos ofrece un perfil de la amplia gama de mentirosos que existen, nos enseña a manejar las mentiras de los hombres -desde las inofensivas hasta las más destructivas- y nos provee con estrategias prácticas para detenerlos antes de que arruinen nuestra relación y, sobre todo, nuestra vida.
Una vez que descubrimos la verdad sobre aquel a quien amamos y sus mentiras ¿qué hacemos? Forward comparte con nosotras métodos prácticos y probados para sanar las heridas producidas por la decepción, la mentira y la traición. En este libro, la autora ofrece todas las técnicas tanto conductuales como de comunicación que necesitamos para lidiar con las mentiras de la pareja, diciéndonos exactamente qué decir, cuándo y cómo responder a sus reacciones y cómo exponer nuestras condiciones para seguir adelante con la relación. Valiéndose de la lucidez y la calidez que la caracterizan, Susan Forward nos ayuda a decidir si nuestra relación aún tiene arreglo y nos muestra cómo superar la duda y el arrepentimiento cuando nos damos cuenta de que no lo tiene. Ya sea que nos quedemos o nos vayamos, lo más importante es que podemos aprender a confiar y a amar nuevamente.
296 pages, Kindle Edition
First published January 1, 1999
27 people are currently reading
1048 people want to read
About the author
Susan Forward
27 books596 followersOne of the nation’s leading therapists, as well as a best selling author, dynamic lecturer and frequent talk-show guest. In addition to her private practice, she has served as a therapist, instructor and consultant for many Southern California psychiatric and medical facilities. She is the author of the #1 New York Times best sellers Men Who Hate Women and the Women Who Love Them and Toxic Parents. She also hosted her own nationally syndicated program on ABC Talk Radio for six years.
from http://www.susanforward.com
from http://www.susanforward.com
Ratings & Reviews
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Displaying 1 - 20 of 20 reviews
October 31, 2011
This is one of the books that helped open my eyes after leaving a relationship with a sociopath liar. It is an important book for anyone who is in the healing process and who needs help in understanding the reasons people get entangled in a web of lies and the psychology behind the compulsive liar.
July 28, 2014
This book was really a ..."good read" (pun intended!) :-) It was very difficult for me to read, but very helpful in realizing some things.
A quote from the book REALLY stuck with me.
"Even if we yell and scream at them when we discover that they lied, once the dust settles, most of us will opt for the comforting territory of rationalization. In fact, many of us are willing to rewire our senses, short-circuit our instincts and intelligence, and accept the seductive comfort of self-delusion.”
I tried to initiate conversations about feeling that something wasn't right, but instead I settled for lame excuses. That was my bad. I was rationalizing...and believed what I was told.
My gut was telling me, something was wrong. Each time I asked, I was told I was being "suspicious", and they were getting tired of ME asking them questions about it. WTH?
I started second guessing myself.!
Maybe I WAS making a big deal out of nothing. Maybe they really hadn't been secretly texting someone, and spending evenings/nights with some one when they were out of town. Maybe all the excuses I was getting....were legitimate. (yeah, they weren't).
The author addresses that in the book, when you start second guessing yourself, and what your gut is telling you, as opposed to what they are telling you. This book has SO much information about different types of liars, how they twist and manipulate , and how SMOOTH and believable they are. Now , of course they are with some one else, and I am made out to be the "crazy" one. The book also addresses how it is easier for them to make the other person a villain, it is easier for them to rationalize the way they treated the person.
The book explains about the different types of lies there are as well.
I am a LOT better educated, but it was a tough book to read. The book has helped me with healing and moving forward. Just about everything I was told by this person was a lie. Hard to believe, but true.
A quote from the book REALLY stuck with me.
"Even if we yell and scream at them when we discover that they lied, once the dust settles, most of us will opt for the comforting territory of rationalization. In fact, many of us are willing to rewire our senses, short-circuit our instincts and intelligence, and accept the seductive comfort of self-delusion.”
I tried to initiate conversations about feeling that something wasn't right, but instead I settled for lame excuses. That was my bad. I was rationalizing...and believed what I was told.
My gut was telling me, something was wrong. Each time I asked, I was told I was being "suspicious", and they were getting tired of ME asking them questions about it. WTH?
I started second guessing myself.!
Maybe I WAS making a big deal out of nothing. Maybe they really hadn't been secretly texting someone, and spending evenings/nights with some one when they were out of town. Maybe all the excuses I was getting....were legitimate. (yeah, they weren't).
The author addresses that in the book, when you start second guessing yourself, and what your gut is telling you, as opposed to what they are telling you. This book has SO much information about different types of liars, how they twist and manipulate , and how SMOOTH and believable they are. Now , of course they are with some one else, and I am made out to be the "crazy" one. The book also addresses how it is easier for them to make the other person a villain, it is easier for them to rationalize the way they treated the person.
The book explains about the different types of lies there are as well.
I am a LOT better educated, but it was a tough book to read. The book has helped me with healing and moving forward. Just about everything I was told by this person was a lie. Hard to believe, but true.
July 14, 2013
Another outstanding book by Susan Forward! If you have been in a relationship with a pathological (or even periodic) liar, you need to read this book. Only someone who had lived with a deceptive or secretive partner knows the feeling of losing your mind at the same time it appears you're losing your relationship.
Forward helps clarify what is true, honest and sane compared to the things that are sham, fraud and simply crazy. She also helps warn those whose partner may be a sociopath to get out, fast.
Highly recommended! If the title fits your situation, buy it, NOW!
Forward helps clarify what is true, honest and sane compared to the things that are sham, fraud and simply crazy. She also helps warn those whose partner may be a sociopath to get out, fast.
Highly recommended! If the title fits your situation, buy it, NOW!
January 13, 2013
Not a pleasant book at all, but if you have ever taken a tango with a sociopath, this does help restore.
June 2, 2009
Worth reading for anyone who has been betrayed by someone you thought you loved. Especially, if you thought they loved you. Excellent recovery recommendations, responses, and scripts to remember who you are.
January 20, 2016
Some insightful and useful information here that could actually be applied to friendships as well as relationships. I especially enjoyed the chapter on confrontations. I will say that this book is written for women, given how the liar in all of the scenarios is a guy. I would have liked to have seen the author address the possibility of the woman being the liar, just for curiosity's sake. Still it was an excellent read and one I will possibly return to for guidance should any further major conflicts come up in my life.
January 17, 2014
Particularly good chapters regarding recovery from an abusive relationship with a narcissist/socio/psychopath.
November 5, 2014
No one ever wants to discover that someone important in their life has been deceptive. But when that happens, it's important to understand why someone might be that way without taking the deception personally. This book was essential in helping me to understand the many reasons behind deceptive behavior, how to spot red flags, and how to ultimately understand that it wasn't about ME. Learning to trust your own judgment after being majorly deceived is difficult, but this book is my number ONE recommendation in working toward that.
March 2, 2008
Very good feedback on emotional toll that having an untruthful mate can take. Provides some insight into identifying differences in lies of commission vs. lies of omission. Decent read, practical tools to understanding patterns of deception.
December 6, 2015
Eye opening and poignant. A life saver for me. With real practical advice you can use.
June 24, 2019
Very helpful book for anyone who has been betrayed. The author describes the NPD / sociopathic personality and speaks to the victim with next level healing. One of the better books I’ve read on the subject. If you’ve been or are in a deceptive relationship, read this book and get yourself healed.
It’s a long recovery.
Wow! The texting at night and secrets and lies. It’s a sick pattern that they repeat with every woman ! They tell the same sad childhood story to each woman looking for the one it’ll stick with. How about the Madonna / whore complex ? That’s the famous deviant behavior they exhibit. Disgusting mentally sick men.
It’s a long recovery.
Wow! The texting at night and secrets and lies. It’s a sick pattern that they repeat with every woman ! They tell the same sad childhood story to each woman looking for the one it’ll stick with. How about the Madonna / whore complex ? That’s the famous deviant behavior they exhibit. Disgusting mentally sick men.
November 27, 2023
I feel like every single book in this genre is about women who are hurt by men. It’s very possible for men to be hurt by women. It’s very possible for men, in positions of power, who society would otherwise look at as holding all the cards, to be hurt.
While I found this book helpful in certain ways- it made me feel as if perhaps I wasn’t completely alone in what happened with me- the perspective from which it is written doesn’t align with the reality through which I lived and I’m currently living. Nothing seems to.
While I found this book helpful in certain ways- it made me feel as if perhaps I wasn’t completely alone in what happened with me- the perspective from which it is written doesn’t align with the reality through which I lived and I’m currently living. Nothing seems to.
September 7, 2025
"El corazón sabio sabe que las heridas causadas por el engaño y la traición de una pareja no implican que el daño y el impedimento sean permanentes..."
Un libro fundamental para comprender como las mentiras y el engaño pueden destruir una relación de pareja.
La autora divide el libro en dos partes, en la primera analiza las mentiras, la forma en la que los hombres mienten, como las mujeres se mienten y la mente de los sociópatas. En la segunda parte se analiza como afrontar las mentiras y sanar.
Lo recomiendo ampliamente.
Un libro fundamental para comprender como las mentiras y el engaño pueden destruir una relación de pareja.
La autora divide el libro en dos partes, en la primera analiza las mentiras, la forma en la que los hombres mienten, como las mujeres se mienten y la mente de los sociópatas. En la segunda parte se analiza como afrontar las mentiras y sanar.
Lo recomiendo ampliamente.
March 31, 2021
This book was so powerful and empowering. I felt very validated by the stories that Dr. Forward told and her step by step plan of what to do when you have been lied to, betrayed and hurt by the person who is supposed to love you the most. This is mostly about marriage relationships but could easily apply to friendships as well. If you are going through a betrayal and are struggling for solid ground, this book could be very helpful to you.
January 6, 2023
Even though this book is more than two decades old, it is very relevant for women dealing with a cheating partner. The author chooses to focus on heterosexual relationships with male cheaters and women victims, which is, obviously, a bit limiting. Nonetheless, her stories of woman dealing with the aftermath of a devastating betrayal is compelling. The writing is simple and easy to digest, so much so that I read the book within two days.
August 22, 2024
Bardzo ciekawy poradnik, jak reagować na kłamstwo lub zdradę najbliższej nam osoby. Udawać, że wszystko jest w porządku, czy konfrontować? Zaufać ponownie, kontrolować, a może zakończyć związek?
Autorka twierdzi, że w wielu przypadkach wybaczenie utożsamiamy z udawaniem, że nic się nie stało. A to nie prowadzi do uzdrowienia relacji.
Polecam. Wiadomości przydatne również do wykorzystania w relacjach z innymi osobami z naszego otoczenia.
Autorka twierdzi, że w wielu przypadkach wybaczenie utożsamiamy z udawaniem, że nic się nie stało. A to nie prowadzi do uzdrowienia relacji.
Polecam. Wiadomości przydatne również do wykorzystania w relacjach z innymi osobami z naszego otoczenia.
May 12, 2022
This book helped me through one of the hardest times in my life. Having examples of unfaithful partners made me feel less alone, and less like it was my fault.
Highly recommend for people who have experienced an unfaithful partner.
Highly recommend for people who have experienced an unfaithful partner.
January 4, 2023
It was pretty good but I skipped all the parts of how to make a relationship with a liar work. But in that era, you had to find ways to cope I guess.
July 4, 2022
I believe that this book revealed that I have lied in my own life to my wife and children. It was very eye opening and I will be sure to be honest from now on . I saw myself in some of the men in this book . I hope men will read this and do a mental check up on their own lives. Very much worth the read . Kevin
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August 9, 2014Where is it?
Displaying 1 - 20 of 20 reviews