Hated It
What an absolute struggle. Reading this was like wading through a swamp of melodrama and unnecessary detail, while trying not to trip on the whiplash personalities of the characters.
We follow the Ryan family, made up of the mother Sarah, who has delusions of grandeur beyond her station, the father Benjamin, who is 90% alcohol and 10% absent, eight unruly sons and one daughter, the supposed main character, Maura. Sarah and Benjamin only seem to like each other long enough to make a baby and as they are so wrapped up in themselves, this leaves the kids so poorly parented they may as well not have any parents. The oldest son, Michael, decides that the hand he has been dealt is not good enough and naturally turns to crime in an attempt at earning money and a better life. Of course, as his siblings grow up, they all join him on his ventures, Maura included. You’d think with such a large cast of central characters, there would be at least someone for any reader to latch onto. You’d be wrong. With the exception of Maura & Sarah, all the other characters in this book seem to have a personality transplant every chapter, sometimes every page. And never changing to anything admirable. It really felt like Cole had a single list of twenty odd traits and was just recycling them every few pages. Some of the reactions given were also totally off the wall and not in keeping with the cookie cutter character we had become accustomed to up until that point. One example was Michael finding out Maura was dating a policeman. Despite him having a ton of officers in his pocket and touting the phrase ‘look after your womenfolk’ all book, he absolutely loses it and almost punches Maura in the face. And the weird part is, neither of them ever speak about this incident again. The rest of the book, they become incredibly close as if the entire thing never happened. Cole also fell into the trap of having so many siblings in the family, that about four of the sons were suffering from the character equivalent of white room syndrome. They supposedly all looked like Michael, but this felt like a cheap cop-out and most of the time I could just see Maura in a room with a bunch of blurred faces.
And then there is Sarah. The matriarch. A totally deplorable bitch. Accountability is not a word Sarah knows. Everything that goes not exactly as she planned is never her fault, it’s always someone else’s. As each scene with her in passed, her actions became more heinous and my hate for her grew. She treats her children like accessories, popping them out one after the other while simultaneously neglecting her existing ones each time. When Maura is born, her eight sons haven’t eaten in about two days! And of course, this isn’t Sarah’s fault. It’s her husband’s. As if she isn’t capable of getting a job, or not getting pregnant. One point later in the book Michael states that after every birth, Sarah was more than happy to get back to romping with Benjamin almost immediately, even after several stillbirths! Then there is turning a blind eye to her son’s criminal actions until it’s too obvious. And of course, them all being in a gang is not her fault either. When Roy comes to her to admit he’s knocked up his girlfriend at eighteen, she essentially forces them to marry and settle down. And then when the marriage starts crapping out and Sarah catches his wife in the act of abusing their four year old daughter, instead of dragging this child beater across the coals, she allies with her and cusses out Roy for ‘not being there for his wife.’ And this is a friendship that stays for the rest of the book, as if her daughter-in-law isn't an abusive drunk. That's Roy's fault too. When Benjamin has a heart attack, it's the child beater Sarah calls instead of any of her own children. This message doesn't get passed on and the kids show up hours later. Also their fault. Sarah’s reaction to Maura getting pregnant, at seventeen, isn’t to get her to marry the guy. Instead she marches her off to a backstreet abortionist and holds her own daughter down while the procedure is performed. It goes wrong and Maura nearly dies, losing her ability to have children. Does Sarah ever blame herself for this? Nope! It’s Maura’s fault and Sarah even has the audacity to call Maura a ‘neuter’ later in life as well as tell anyone that will listen that Maura aborted her own child. It was infuriating and I don’t normally condone violence, but Michael should have slapped his mother into next week for this. Sarah’s own treatment of Michael is also frustrating. At first, as he starts giving her money, she shows it off to everyone on the street. But soon she learns he is gay. And how he is getting this money. And this goes against Sarah’s ideals of what life she wanted for him. It eventually culminates with Michael and Maura cutting her off, except Michael still sends Sarah money every week. And Sarah takes it, despite not even acknowledging his existence. When he dies, she sheds not one tear, even wishing that she was burying Maura as well! And when she finds out Michael left her a great deal of money, she tries to act all holy than thou by saying she wants to leave it to the children’s hospital because she ‘doesn’t want his blood money’. As if this bitch hasn’t been taking his money all these years. And that Michael hadn’t already left Save The Children £50k. She even kicks off the climax by happily selling her children out to the police. Her stupid arse thinks this will ‘save her boys’, not realising that it leads to the police planning their deaths. She doesn’t give a toss about Maura at this point. And yet when Benjamin has his heart attack, Sarah is begging her only daughter to stay with her and sleep in the same bed because she ‘doesn’t want to be alone’. Excuse me mam, being alone is being kind to you. On top of all this, she is also crazy religious, praying all the time and thinking that she is always doing the right thing. There was no self-reflection to her character whatsoever and I hate that Cole gave her a happy ending. Whether or not Cole intended her to be the villain, Sarah is, and she didn’t deserve a drop of happiness.
With that rant over with, let’s move onto the titular ‘dangerous lady’, Maura. She is the MC, but honestly it shouldn’t take seven chapters (over a hundred pages) to get to following her. And she wasn’t even worth the wait. I was scrambling throughout to work out why Cole decided to call her a dangerous lady. Maura is a drip. As threatening as a fluffy duckling. She spends the entire book either pining over her policeman lover, or just riding the coattails of her brothers, Michael specifically. Rather than getting her hands dirty with the crimes, she simply dictates to others what is going to happen. The only time I can recall that she gets properly involved is when she kneecaps someone. And that’s near the end. Like well done Maura, have a fucking brownie. Her physical descriptions were also very strange. Every single time she sounded ridiculous, almost clown like. But apparently she was this hot woman with huge breasts. Something that came up so much I was starting to wonder if Maura’s descriptions were written by a man cause it really was giving creepy old guy pervving. I just couldn’t see how she was a strong independent woman, when even at the end of the book, she was relying on all the men around her. The worst part of her character was the consequences of her abortion being her turning point to go into business with Michael. It left an awful taste in my mouth, as if the author was saying the only choice in life for a woman is to be married and a mother, or to be a single miserable career woman. Cole basically fridged Maura’s baby. But forgot to develop Maura’s character thereafter.
The blurb of my copy talks about Maura putting her ‘heart on the line’, indicating that the romance is central to the plot. The blurb is a dirty rotten liar. There is a romance, but it has as much spark as a wet match. Maura meets Terry when she is sixteen. And he is twenty-four. Yes the age of consent is 16 in the UK. But that doesn’t mean a 24 year old knocking about with someone who isn’t even an adult yet isn’t creepy. He of course is blindly handsome. But he is also a policeman. Which apparently is a conflict, despite Michael having already got half the police force on the take. Maura decides not to tell Terry that she is a Ryan and begins sneaking around behind her family’s back to see the guy. Because a relationship built on lies is one definitely worth rooting for. They date for eight months, shagging away, before Terry discovers who she really is. I don’t understand how you can have that long a relationship and not even know your girlfriend’s last name. Upon finding out, he dumps her. His job is more important (how charming). Maura at this point is pregnant, because why use contraception? Instead of telling him, she decides to just accept the dumping and head home, lost as to what to do. This made zero sense as up until this point, Maura had quite distain for her family and was hoping to get married and get away. Yet when she is presented with exactly that opportunity, she keeps her mouth shut. Of course, we all know what happens once she gets home and tells her mother. It demonstrated how mind-numbingly stupid Maura was. Thereafter, she spends the next twenty years thinking about Terry and what could have been, as if she had been left with no choice. Any time she comes across him later in life, there is supposedly all this chemistry. For someone she dated less than a year and who discarded her like a crisp packet. It is Terry who Sarah ends up giving the information of her children’s crimes to, and he is then responsible for almost getting them killed. And what does Maura do? Have a heart to heart with him! The worst part was that at the end, Terry and Maura fly away together to Gibraltar. Which is what should have happened when he found out she was a Ryan. They basically wasted twenty years of their lives, and about three hundred pages.
The entire book could have been half its length if it wasn’t for all the filler Cole randomly shoved in. Did we really need a backstory for every single minor character that was going to be killed off the following page? Cole seems to think so. Did we really need scenes that added nothing to what was going on during the chapter? Apparently. I wouldn’t mind so much if all this extra fluff served as a breather between all the thrilling crime action, except there was barely any thrills. Every time a plotline got interesting, Cole dropped it and moved us along to five or six years later, only summing up what happened in a throwaway line to cover herself. A Greek gang has one of the brothers bumped off while in prison. Do we see the back and forth of this gang war? No. There is trouble with the ice cream and hot dog businesses, resulting in a yard being blown up. Do we see more of this? Nope. One of the brother’s double-crosses Michael and gets him murdered. Do we see the retaliation and fallout of this? The double crossing brother’s death? Of course not, that would be way to interesting!
This forgetting of storylines did leave some gaping holes in the story. The Ryan’s were supposedly very well known by everyone, even being in the papers. But no one has nicked them. I know they had a lot of officers on their side, but I’m not buying that every single policeman was and that no one was questioning it. Cole also forgot details. During the climax Terry keeps being referred to a young. Even though he was 44 by then. Maura’s aborted baby is referred to as Sarah’s first grandchild. As if Roy’s daughter born when Maura was only five, suddenly didn’t exist. Maura was apparently the apple of Benjamin’s eye, but we never see this. Little family traditions of the Ryan’s were referred to in passing, but also never seen. On the other hand, phrases were repeated regularly, sometimes on the same page. It was all really a lot of talk and no substance. There was also a disturbing amount of racism and sexism throughout. I understand that it was set from the 50s to the 80s where stereotypes and social practices were different to today, but I felt like it missed the mark. Instead of placing the reader firmly in the setting, the comments came out of no where and almost slapped you in the face. There is an entire scene in the climax where Maura is on the phone to her friend, who is fretting about her daughter dating someone of a different religion. For half a page it is racist remark after racist remark between the two women. The scene has zero effect on anything that happens in the climax. It’s just there. It really felt like being racist for racist sake. And finally, Cole seemed to be preaching this idea that the rich were worse than the criminal gangs of London, except they got away with it because money. Not only is this such a cliché trope of these types of stories, but also ironic considering as by the end Michael and Maura were worth well over a million and were paying people off to keep themselves out of prison. They literally were the bad rich guys who got away all the time.
I was expecting this book to be a nail biting story of gangland London and instead got a boring meandering plot full of unlikeable characters. This may work for you if you like soap operas but personally I wouldn’t waste my time with it.