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186 pages, Mass Market Paperback
First published November 1, 2005
But nothing made up for the fact that Blake Kemp thought Violet was fat.
“He thinks I’m fat,” Violet said miserably.
Every single time he walked in, he glared at Violet as if she were responsible for the seven deadly sins.
He’d lost the woman he loved years ago and had never had any inclination to risk his heart again.
His fiancée had died. He was through with love. So Violet had to go.
Her father hadn’t really loved her mother, and it showed to everybody except Mrs. Hardy.
“Delene Crane works with him,” she replied, curious. “She’s a woman.” “He’s known Delene since they were in college together,” he told her. “He doesn’t think of her as a woman.”
Violet made him think of open fireplaces in winter, of warm lamplight in the darkness. Her absence had only served to make him realize how alone he was.
He and Cag Hart had served in the same mechanized division. Few people knew that, because he and Cag didn’t talk much about the missions they’d shared. It forged bonds that noncombatants could not understand.
Involuntarily, his mind went back eight years, to the only woman he’d really ever loved. Shannon Culbertson had been eighteen the year they started dating. It had been love at first sight for both of them.
“Anyway, Julie attacked Libby and Jordan didn’t stand up for her. Jordan made some nasty remarks to Libby.” He shrugged. “I’m not working for any man who bad-mouths my sister.”
How could a living woman compete with a perfect memory?
You don’t keep secrets in a town like Jacobsville. We’re all one big family. We know all about each other.”
Curt was a fine young man with a promising future. And Violet was going to date him.
He knew it was a bad idea, encouraging her. At some point he was going to have to back away from her. He didn’t want commitment.
He hadn’t analyzed his feelings for Violet. He wasn’t going to. Not yet. But she kindled fires in his blood that he hadn’t felt since Shannon Culbertson’s death.
“I make up in intelligence for what I lack in looks,” she murmured.
Too many years of abstinence had left him powerless with Violet’s mouth promising heaven.
Years of abstinence took control of his will. His hands...
He watched her face the whole time, watched fear and pain slowly give way to sharp pleasure.
“I’ve never done this…in broad daylight. And I’ve never watched, Violet,”
She felt him, still inside her, still pulsing softly.
“I didn’t have the presence of mind to think about protection, either.”
“I haven’t had a woman for over two years,” he said bluntly. “I’m sorry. I lost control the minute I started kissing you.”
She’d just had sex with her former boss and he wasn’t a marrying man.
“You’re in love with me. I’ve always known it. There isn’t any other reason that would make you give yourself to a man without marriage.”
He’d never been with a woman who was so violently in love with him. He felt cosseted, valued, possessed.
That hadn’t happened even with Shannon, when he was much younger. Violet lit fires in his body.
“I know you already know it,” she said softly. “But I love you.”
He’d taken advantage of what she felt for him, lost control and put her at risk. Now he had to stand by and wait to find out if she became pregnant, knowing that if she did, he’d be forced to marry her to save her reputation. It wasn’t the best night of his life, despite the lingering pleasure that reminded him of the afternoon.
“He said that he’d never have a child.”
She was pregnant when she died. It was his child. He hadn’t known about it, although he would have married her sooner if he had.
He lost not only his fiancée, but his child as well. He said that just the thought of a child gave him nightmares now, brought it all back to haunt him.”
She might mistake his invitation for something romantic, but that wasn’t the case at all. He felt guilty for what he’d let happen at his house. Violet could be pregnant. He didn’t dare keep his distance until he knew for sure. The woman hadn’t a clue about relationships, and she’d be in a hell of a fix if she really had become pregnant.
He wasn’t ready for marriage and a family. He might never be. Certainly, Violet was hardly the sort of woman he envisioned marrying.
He’d seduced her, out of loneliness and aching hunger.
“You want to sleep with me, with no ties, isn’t that the truth?”
She wanted happily ever after. All he wanted was relief from the nagging physical hunger that was taking him over.
He hated the whole idea of giving up his freedom. He hated the idea of a child in his life. He wasn’t family man material.
Sometimes, a sacrifice was called for. That was what he told himself when he drew Violet into his arms and bent to kiss her with forced enthusiasm.
He was genuinely out of control. His body impaled hers with quick, deft movements that should have been uncomfortable. But she was hungry for him, too. She opened her legs with a shaken little sigh and arched her hips to encourage him.
She was still tingling, but he hadn’t given her enough time. She felt sad; cheated. She didn’t want to say anything. At least he needed her, if nothing more.
He’d never felt such a primitive urge to possess a woman, not even Shannon.
she pulled into her driveway and remembered that he hadn’t said one word about seeing her again during the weekend.
He didn’t call, either.
There’s no way Violet would agree to a termination, so marriage is the only possible resolution.”
He was only marrying her for appearances. He felt trapped. He didn’t want Violet in any way at all, except perhaps physically. It was a harsh blow.
He’d never thought about children, except once, long ago, with Shannon.