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Johnny Real Estate
Trouble has a way of finding Johnny Tee. That's why after years of consorting with organized crime types, he is set on finding a legitimate job and making a go of it as a functional member of society. Of course we all know he will fail miserably. As a new trilogy begins, Johnny is off to joing the world of real estate. It's escrows. It's leins. It's a bunch of other terms he doesn't know and isn't learning. That's okay because Johnny is a born salesmen But it's also not okay because he's a born idiot.
122 pages, Paperback
Published May 13, 2015
4 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 8 of 8 reviews
May 25, 2015
Johnny Dee decides he needs a job in order to impress his girlfriend, Roxy Mullins. He wants a profession which requires absolutely no experience and so decides to become an real estate agent. He manages to get a job at Hoffman and Mills where he's given a seemingly impossible task called The Gauntlet by his boss, the power crazy Kenny Mills.
Johnny doesn't take no for an answer, adopting an unconventional approach to his work.
This book is very funny and original and the writing is fast paced with plenty of twists and turns. Johnny Tee is completely lacking in common sense, self obsessed and totally oblivious to the people around him and the effect he has on them, but, at the same time, he's a determined risk taker. Due to a certain naivety, Johnny fails to see the dangers and this leads him into all sorts of tricky situations.
An enjoyable, unpredictable and entertaining read.
Johnny doesn't take no for an answer, adopting an unconventional approach to his work.
This book is very funny and original and the writing is fast paced with plenty of twists and turns. Johnny Tee is completely lacking in common sense, self obsessed and totally oblivious to the people around him and the effect he has on them, but, at the same time, he's a determined risk taker. Due to a certain naivety, Johnny fails to see the dangers and this leads him into all sorts of tricky situations.
An enjoyable, unpredictable and entertaining read.
June 13, 2015
Oh My GAWD!
What a great little read. A few pages of guffaws and out and out laughs. I am an instant fan. I'm going to download the rest of the series for when I need to cheer up.
This sums it up for me when Johnny says, "Basically, all you need to know is that ninety percent of what goes on in the street is maniacal hallucinations"
He's a great character, following in the steps of Don Quixote. His Sancho is an intern he's dubbed paper. Somehow, by sheer willpower, and nothing else, he sells a bunch of real estate while getting his arse kicked. You can't help but admire him, and yet ..wonder about his sanity.
Loved it. You just gotta read it to get it.
What a great little read. A few pages of guffaws and out and out laughs. I am an instant fan. I'm going to download the rest of the series for when I need to cheer up.
This sums it up for me when Johnny says, "Basically, all you need to know is that ninety percent of what goes on in the street is maniacal hallucinations"
He's a great character, following in the steps of Don Quixote. His Sancho is an intern he's dubbed paper. Somehow, by sheer willpower, and nothing else, he sells a bunch of real estate while getting his arse kicked. You can't help but admire him, and yet ..wonder about his sanity.
Loved it. You just gotta read it to get it.
June 24, 2015
The comedic writing style is the strength of this book just like your favorite mustard on a hot dog, however the downside is that this hotdog is ALL mustard, with a sketchy plot and almost no physical descriptions of people or environments. The story of a street bum’s accidental employment in Real Estate and his subsequent improbable success is a reasonable premise, but the word length here is too long for a short story and too short for a novel. To be fair to the genre, it would be nigh on impossible to keep the same rollicking style of writing happening for a full 80 thousand words, however the plot of selling four unsellable houses seems to demand more space than it is given.
There are flashes of comedic brilliance in the writing, for example …
• … and massaged my favorite scalp. Although I think she was actually just checking for lice.
• “That’s right, Karen. I was just saying that any bum off the street could outsell you. And like magic, who should crawl out of the gutter and into the office, but this rotten slug.” I did take offense at this comment, but somehow it seemed like I had a job …
• “Anybody want to talk about listings? The best way to use them, what works best with them, the general basic definition of what one is?” The room cleared. “Can somebody at least point me to the sugar?”
• … I then attempted to make casual conversation, but when I asked her what a listing was she came up with a whole bunch of names she hadn’t thought of before. I leaned back and put my feet up on my desk. It was hard with Karen hitting me.
Those (and about a dozen more scenes) generated genuine guffaws of appreciative laughter from me, and the writing that joined the scenes together certainly showed competence.
The Point of View is consistently through Johnny’s thoughts, with occasional pieces of dialog inserted. OK, that works to let us know where Johnny’s head is and perhaps allows for more comedy flashes than is possible with a standard dialog & description story, but it leaves out a heck of a lot of detail that could enhance the reader’s experience. We know very little about Roxie, his red headed girlfriend, and why she hangs around with a bum who lives on the streets, yet she could add a valuable perspective on Johnny.
In the end the story becomes a set of humorous anecdotes about improbable ways of selling houses tied together with a few ‘suspend-your-disbelief’ events that appear to save Johnny’s skin. Deus ex machine with regular whiffs of laughing gas. The motivations and believability of secondary characters such as Kenny Mills (his new boss) and Paper (the intern) are not the strongest feature of the book and only makes sense if you accept that all of this is seen through Johnny’s eyes and doubtless filtered through his egocentric view of the world. If you imagine that you’re sitting in a bar and an unknown stranger is regaling the audience with tall tales of his early life as a Real Estate agent then the story becomes easier to accept.
I would recommend reading one of these stories in the series to pass an idle hour, but with no sustained development of plot or character I fear that reading the other Johnny Tee stories would generate a vague déjà vu experience akin to perusing an extended anthology of Dad Jokes. (Disclosure: I’ve only read this one book in the series).
There are flashes of comedic brilliance in the writing, for example …
• … and massaged my favorite scalp. Although I think she was actually just checking for lice.
• “That’s right, Karen. I was just saying that any bum off the street could outsell you. And like magic, who should crawl out of the gutter and into the office, but this rotten slug.” I did take offense at this comment, but somehow it seemed like I had a job …
• “Anybody want to talk about listings? The best way to use them, what works best with them, the general basic definition of what one is?” The room cleared. “Can somebody at least point me to the sugar?”
• … I then attempted to make casual conversation, but when I asked her what a listing was she came up with a whole bunch of names she hadn’t thought of before. I leaned back and put my feet up on my desk. It was hard with Karen hitting me.
Those (and about a dozen more scenes) generated genuine guffaws of appreciative laughter from me, and the writing that joined the scenes together certainly showed competence.
The Point of View is consistently through Johnny’s thoughts, with occasional pieces of dialog inserted. OK, that works to let us know where Johnny’s head is and perhaps allows for more comedy flashes than is possible with a standard dialog & description story, but it leaves out a heck of a lot of detail that could enhance the reader’s experience. We know very little about Roxie, his red headed girlfriend, and why she hangs around with a bum who lives on the streets, yet she could add a valuable perspective on Johnny.
In the end the story becomes a set of humorous anecdotes about improbable ways of selling houses tied together with a few ‘suspend-your-disbelief’ events that appear to save Johnny’s skin. Deus ex machine with regular whiffs of laughing gas. The motivations and believability of secondary characters such as Kenny Mills (his new boss) and Paper (the intern) are not the strongest feature of the book and only makes sense if you accept that all of this is seen through Johnny’s eyes and doubtless filtered through his egocentric view of the world. If you imagine that you’re sitting in a bar and an unknown stranger is regaling the audience with tall tales of his early life as a Real Estate agent then the story becomes easier to accept.
I would recommend reading one of these stories in the series to pass an idle hour, but with no sustained development of plot or character I fear that reading the other Johnny Tee stories would generate a vague déjà vu experience akin to perusing an extended anthology of Dad Jokes. (Disclosure: I’ve only read this one book in the series).
July 22, 2015
It’s difficult to describe Johnny Real Estate, but a good start is that it’s one of the most unique novellas I’ve ever read with a free from style that’s surprisingly refreshing and a pleasure to read. All this despite a really odd structure. While the goal of the protag is clear, and the obstacles are easy to understand, there’s no stakes to care about and no clear character arc. Logic can’t be applied to Johnny’s motivations, and his total lack of understanding of reality disconnects him to the occurrences that surround him. Those two facts alone should immediately make any book unreadable, and yet this story’s an ABSOLUTE BLAST. I’m not sure if it’s the Hunter S. Thompson-esque free flowing thoughts or the Homer Simpson-like obliviousness, but Johnny Tee is infinitely likable. He has simple goals that, thanks to his personality, are almost impossibly unattainable, and the reasons why are basic but still far beyond his grasp. And yet by page ten you’re firmly in his corner, hoping he somehow pulls a rabbit out of the hat he doesn’t have.
It’s a short work, and easy to consume in one sitting, and I have to say I’m really glad I read it. I can’t imagine a better way to spend 99 cents. It’s got charm, a sense of humor, and a soul. It’s goofy and fun, and weird and wonderful, which is amazing because most people who perform this type of writing fail horribly, creating boring tripe that’s hard to endure, but Nick Tory manages to do something unique and just so cool. I’m surprised it took me this long to hear his name.
It’s a short work, and easy to consume in one sitting, and I have to say I’m really glad I read it. I can’t imagine a better way to spend 99 cents. It’s got charm, a sense of humor, and a soul. It’s goofy and fun, and weird and wonderful, which is amazing because most people who perform this type of writing fail horribly, creating boring tripe that’s hard to endure, but Nick Tory manages to do something unique and just so cool. I’m surprised it took me this long to hear his name.
April 3, 2016
I'm not sure what I liked the most about this book. The story is fast, clear, out of the ordinary and the simplicity of it makes you want to find out more. The writing is funny with a good sense of humor, absolutely enjoyable to read and very innovative in its own kind.
There is nothing logical about Johnny, you can expect anything to happen. He is entertaining and he is not even trying to be so. I don't know why, but Johnny somehow reminds me of a honey badger.
I am looking forward to read the rest of these series. Such great piece of work!
There is nothing logical about Johnny, you can expect anything to happen. He is entertaining and he is not even trying to be so. I don't know why, but Johnny somehow reminds me of a honey badger.
I am looking forward to read the rest of these series. Such great piece of work!
July 2, 2016
Johnny Tee is an anti-hero and his misadventures are so hilarious. After his past with not so legal jobs, he is trying to get into the Real Estate work in this book to have a legitimate job. Each time you think Johnny is not that big and idiot, he proves you wrong--in a very funny way.
The author, Nick, has created a character that is surely going to be remembered for a long time. That's because it's such an original character and there are only very few books that could make you laugh these days. This book is recommended for anyone who loves anti-hero in funny books.
The author, Nick, has created a character that is surely going to be remembered for a long time. That's because it's such an original character and there are only very few books that could make you laugh these days. This book is recommended for anyone who loves anti-hero in funny books.
September 15, 2015
I have really enjoyed reading these books. They have kept me entertained all week.
I think this one is my favourite. I don't know if it's because I already had expectations from main character or the fact it's going in a different direction but I have to say they are all Highly recommended. If you have a quirky sense of humour this should be right up your street.
I think this one is my favourite. I don't know if it's because I already had expectations from main character or the fact it's going in a different direction but I have to say they are all Highly recommended. If you have a quirky sense of humour this should be right up your street.
June 23, 2015
This book is just completely hilarious. So strange and so funny.
Displaying 1 - 8 of 8 reviews