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Dating: Which Rules Can I Break? A Smart Women's Guide on Finding Love and Relationship Through Online Dating
There are a multitude of online relationship books for women offering advice and rules at varying levels of sexism that I could quote verbatim throughout this text (don’t email or message men first, don’t respond to emails over the weekend because it makes it look like you’re not busy, wait at least 24 hours before responding to a message). You might even find it to be somewhat helpful, especially if the man you’d like to date is supportive of traditional gender roles that reinforce a patriarchal society. But all the stuff that matters boils down to a few basic
1.Know yourself and what you want—figure out your nonnegotiable requirements in your mate, and be honest about them. If you truly wouldn’t ever be attracted to someone who is half a foot shorter than you, admit it to yourself. If you would only consider marrying a man of your religious background, be honest about that, too. Equally as important, be honest about the things that you prefer, but which wouldn’t be deal-breakers. Maybe it’s okay that he doesn’t like to swim or can’t carry a tune or is bald.
2.Be yourself. You might very effectively get a man by manipulation or by keeping quiet certain details about yourself, but your relationship won’t be as fulfilling as if he knows those things about you and loves you anyway.
3.Be wise. Let your family or friends know where you’ll be and with whom. Be clear about what your expectations are and when they change. Men don’t like to be toyed with any more than women do. It is also important to choose a man with both of your futures in mind. People who expect drastically different things out of life may find it more challenging than it’s worth to try to bind those futures together. A wise person admits when the two of you are stronger apart than together and will choose to let go before you’ve committed for life.
4.Understand that people are complex. Most actions stem from multiple causes, making motivations hard to determine and emotions difficult to pin down. As if people in the present are not complicated enough, we change constantly, and to expect your Mr. Right to stay the same person he is now is unfair to both of you. You will both change. Choose someone you can see yourself facing changes with together, so that you are never the surprised, confused divorcée saying, “He just isn’t the person I married anymore.”
This book is not a rulebook to memorize or a promise that you’ll find love in 90 days or less. Those books already exist. This book is meant to encourage you on your quest to find Mr. Right and offer pointers to help you navigate the virtual world into the physical world. Some of those pointers come from my own experience with online dating sites, and some are backed up by research.
7 THINGS YOU WILL LEARN FROM THIS BOOK
1.Which dating site is right for you?
2.How to sum up your life for the profile?
3.Which profile pictures to use?
4.How to choose who to meet?
5.How not to get addicted scrolling down the profile.
6.How to know if you’ve found the right person.
7.What if you just can't settle?
SCROLL UP TO BUY THE BOOK NOW!
1.Know yourself and what you want—figure out your nonnegotiable requirements in your mate, and be honest about them. If you truly wouldn’t ever be attracted to someone who is half a foot shorter than you, admit it to yourself. If you would only consider marrying a man of your religious background, be honest about that, too. Equally as important, be honest about the things that you prefer, but which wouldn’t be deal-breakers. Maybe it’s okay that he doesn’t like to swim or can’t carry a tune or is bald.
2.Be yourself. You might very effectively get a man by manipulation or by keeping quiet certain details about yourself, but your relationship won’t be as fulfilling as if he knows those things about you and loves you anyway.
3.Be wise. Let your family or friends know where you’ll be and with whom. Be clear about what your expectations are and when they change. Men don’t like to be toyed with any more than women do. It is also important to choose a man with both of your futures in mind. People who expect drastically different things out of life may find it more challenging than it’s worth to try to bind those futures together. A wise person admits when the two of you are stronger apart than together and will choose to let go before you’ve committed for life.
4.Understand that people are complex. Most actions stem from multiple causes, making motivations hard to determine and emotions difficult to pin down. As if people in the present are not complicated enough, we change constantly, and to expect your Mr. Right to stay the same person he is now is unfair to both of you. You will both change. Choose someone you can see yourself facing changes with together, so that you are never the surprised, confused divorcée saying, “He just isn’t the person I married anymore.”
This book is not a rulebook to memorize or a promise that you’ll find love in 90 days or less. Those books already exist. This book is meant to encourage you on your quest to find Mr. Right and offer pointers to help you navigate the virtual world into the physical world. Some of those pointers come from my own experience with online dating sites, and some are backed up by research.
7 THINGS YOU WILL LEARN FROM THIS BOOK
1.Which dating site is right for you?
2.How to sum up your life for the profile?
3.Which profile pictures to use?
4.How to choose who to meet?
5.How not to get addicted scrolling down the profile.
6.How to know if you’ve found the right person.
7.What if you just can't settle?
SCROLL UP TO BUY THE BOOK NOW!
38 pages, Kindle Edition
First published April 19, 2015
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