Vengeful Monster

Monsterous Heirs #1

by J.R. Gray

Is stalking just a one sided meet cute?

Ash Conrad throws his meticulously curated life plans out the window to attend an Ivy League. In a country he’s never been to, against family tradition, all in the hope of gaining entrance to an ancient and exclusive secret society.

The Legacy of Power isn’t just an elite secret society, it’s where the heirs of the criminal underworld play. Admittance would guarantee Ash access to the type of people who might help him save his brother.
But first he has to get through Rurik Locke.

Son of the world’s most notorious assassins, Rurik’s family founded Legacy. He’s a ruthless, violent enigma of a golden retriever—who’s not above a little stalking—and is utterly obsessed.

Ash needs his help, but Rurik’s chaos threatens every aspect of the careful structure he’s built to survive.

They’re about to find out the skeletons in their closets are a lot more intertwined than they realize, and Ash will have to let Rurik in to save them both.

Genres: M M Romance, Dark Romance, Dark, Secret Society, Enemies To Lovers, Forced Proximity, College

448 pages, Kindle Edition

First published September 15, 2026

About the author

When not staying up all night writing, J.R. Gray can be found at the gym where it's half assumed he is a permanent resident to fulfill his self-inflicted masochism. A dominant and a pilot, Gray finds it hard to be in the passenger seat of any car. He frequently interrupts real life, including normal sleep patterns and conversations, to jot down notes or plot bunnies. Commas are the bane of his existence even though it's been fully acknowledged they are necessary, they continue to baffle and bewilder. If Gray wasn't writing…well, that's not possible. The buildup of untold stories would haunt Gray into an early grave, insanity or both. The idea of haunting has always appealed to him. J.R. Gray is genderqueer and prefers he/him pronouns.

Reviews

[Rachael Hamilton · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'm a sucker for a secret society and a problematic MMC who can't keep his hands off the one person he shouldn't touch. That is the exact dynamic between Rurik, and Astor. Rurik had me cracking up. He might be wild, but he's definitely not a psychopath (his mom got him tested!) I'm obsessed with his determination to be the only one allowed to haunt Astor. No invisible demons allowed.

I did struggle to become fully invested. The plot moved a bit slower than I expected, and I had a hard time keeping track of all the side characters and their significance. I usually love unsolved mysteries, but here the hints dropped in a way that left me feeling like I'd missed a page rather than curious. I kept rescanning for context instead of being excited to keep reading. Luckily, the second half picked up with some interesting reveals, and it wrapped up well. I have a feeling that now that I understand the world, the next book is going to be fantastic.

[⋆⁺₊⋆꒰ ͜͡ ➸cait⋆⁺₊⋆ · Rating 2 out of 5]

Update: 09/19 I went through the published copy thanks to KU.
I do have some stuff I'm gonna mention when it's not almost 4:40am lmao.
But overall, my star rating has not changed even though there are changes made to the book.
I feel comfortable now putting in the 2 star rating.
---
Update:09/18/26 It's now been out for several days. I'm going to keep my word and go back through the published version to compare.... as soon as I have time.
I will not forget, because I'm genuinely curious myself.
---
Update 09/11/26: My star rating on the copy of the book I read vs. what I hope gets published I have a feeling will be two different things.
Or, at least I hope.
However, without knowing for sure, I'm going to withhold a star rating until release day and pick up the ku version to see how many corrections are still needed, if any, and rate from there.
My conscience will not let me do it any other way to be the most fair to both the author and my own credibility.

This has real potential to hit big in the dark romance community.
it just needs a lot of work from where we received it to do so.

Btw, he posted his special edition paperback or hardcover or something, I'm blanking on which format... It's absolutely stunning.
I have hopes that it's fixed perfectly bc of that alone.

TWs
⊹ there's a ton listed in the front of the book but there's one thing that is a huge theme in the first chunk of the book and that's non-con... not even dub-con, it's non-con.
Which turns to dub, then of course consensual.
It plays into the story, as this one is dark af, like AS FUCK, but it's definitely non-con.
⊹ stalking and stalking and stalking - but rurik is the best character so it's fine.
if you have CSA trauma, prob best to skip this one. i'm pleading with you to skip this one, actually. the payback that gets like 5% isn't worth the other 95% for you.
⊹ descriptive sleep-paralysis.
there's more but those are the ones that stick out in my memory.

---

09/10/26 directly after reading
I have to think really hard about the rating of this one...
I have questions I'd like to ask the author before giving a rating - he says in the beginning this is an early copy... but how early?

I have an entire book full of edits that are needed.
The first 20%? Could be cut down at least 10%...

So, if the copy that is actually released is way different than what I read the rating would be different than it is right now.

I KNOW we aren't supposed to rate arcs based on these kinds of things but when they effect about 65% of my reading experience....

However, I have a feeling people are going to be OBSESSED with Rurik.
Ahhhhhhhhh.
I have more notes on this than I've taken in a while but I'm not ready to post them all yet.

Received this ARC for free from TAA for a voluntary rating and review - opinions given are always my own.

[Julia · Rating 3 out of 5]

No one’s ever gonna convince me this isn’t a God of Fury fanfic, but I had fun.

[Xi Rai · Rating 1.5 out of 5]

Edit 19. september:
There has been an update to the book in kindle, I'm not gonna read it again, but good for all the people who come after me and probably have a better experience than me.
So take my review with a grain of salt I guess. It probably does not fit the version that is on Kindle now.
(I am actually glad that probably some of the issues got fixed, the new version is longer? The pages don't fit mine at all anymore....)
But I repeat: I did NOT read an ARC, I bought the book on Kindle, so I didn't judge an ARC harshly, I judged a book that was released on day 1 of release. Hence, I let this here. There is no way for me to "correct" it to current state without rereading the book, which I do not plan in the near future.
There is no way for me to judge how good the current version of the book is.

-----

This book is seriously pissing me off. I did buy it on release day, I did not read the ARC version.

I will explain in more detail, but first, something about me.
I have read books of this author before, some were a real hit for me, and some were a total miss. Though, if they were a miss for me, it wasn't because the story / writing / editing was bad. The reason always was "It's me, not the book." I didn't vibe with how the tropes were executed. e.g. The himbo was too himbo-y for me. The MMM was more MM + MM with basically cheating until it reached the MMM phase. I love MMM, but I don't enjoy a love triangle. So it's me...not the book.
Hence, I was exited for this new series, because it sounded so up my ally. Yes give me an obsessive golden retriever psychopath boyfriend.
I am ready, I was awaiting this so hard.

And the story COULD have been so good. But this time it is seriously the book, not me.

The editing is shit. I'm sorry but I have to say it as harsh as that.
I will elaborate, but I need time to lookup quotes and add them. Things an editor should have done.
This book felt rushed, poorly edited, with plotholes so big that even my stupid ass can smell them. And I'm not a native speaker, I usually just vibe with the plot. I barely notice plotholes.

I don't know what happened with this book, but it's really really pissing me off, because I bet with a month more, some beta readers and sweat these issues could have been fixed and we would have received a nice story, not world breaking. But a solid 4 stars for me.

Well that didn't happen, as you see...by my review.
Here a short summary, it's still not spoiler free, but well I tried to keep it spoiler free as far as possible to bring my point to the surface.
I will elaborate later with quotes in a longer explanation.

1. Schrödingers Psychopathy
(Both things were stated in the book for the same person.)
2. Supposed to be smart people are really dumb
(Imagine a secret society, giving new entries complicated riddles to solve or else they won't enter... Imagine the same people being really dumb about stuff.)
3. The Astor Paradox
(Editing issue. Relative of Ash is calling him Astor in front of someone from the society by accident and the guy just...idk, ignores and forgets it for 150 more pages (at least more than 100) and is then surprised Ash is Astor... while he was looking for Astor for a reason for years. Did...the name...not ring a bell, when it was mentioned before even if it was a casual mention and shit was on fire, but...Astor is not a common name?)
4. General editing
(There is lots of writing errors, grammatical errors. First I ignored it... but when even I as a non-native speaker get sick of it...that's not good.)
5. Bodies are not bodying
(At times it felt like there were 3 hands on MMC2. Just ONE example of a few.)

After this one, there is spoilers, lots of them:
----------
1. Schrödingers Psychopathy
Page 18: "Maybe my psychopathy can smell him." thought by Rurik
Page 68: "I'm not a psychopath. My mom had me tested." Says Rurik.
After that Psychopathy is mentioned in Rurik's thoughts. He knows he is a psychopath and it's clear, but he doesn't tell Ash/Astor about it again. Astor also calls him a psychopath in his thoughts. So yeah they are on the same page about Rurik, but still, it was clearly, in words, stated Rurik is no psychopath. I thought ok cool maybe he "only" has antisocial personality disorder... or whatever.
Until:
Page: 291: "I already disclosed I was a psychopath." Says Rurik.
No Rurik, you in fact didn't. You explicitly said, you got tested. And yes I scrolled in my kindle because I was sure he said "I got tested I'm not." And I was right. This is a serious editing error, that pisses me off. This should not slip. It's a big issue for context in this book in my opinion.

2. Supposed to be smart people are really dumb
So Rurik and his brothers are in this secret society. There is different trials the pledges have to overcome to be a part of that society. Some tasks of that include riddles in multiple steps. So you got to be smaaaaaart to solve them and go on to the next trial.
For people who make these riddles and solve these riddles... They are seriously dumb. (See the Astor Paradox).
But there is other instances. Rurik figures out where Ash lives but needs like 200 pages to figure out it's not just some random house Ash lives in, but a very prestigious one. He stalks Ash, does he never realise only 2 other people and bodyguards come and go? Does he never question this? He doesn't btw.
Also after realising what happened to Astor by the hands of Ruriks own father, Rurik does not figure out that Ash's father has an in on it, which was obvious asf, because Ash tells him about how Ash's father disregards that one situation that happened.
I can just add the meme of "Are you dumb?"
Also he states that he has his eyes always on Ash after thwy KILLED Ash's father but Rurik's father goes missing, but neither him, nor his brothers or friends think, that Rurik's father could maybe attack Ash at the initiation party? After all they found out? When they know that Rurik's father has been sneaking around the school under their noses? How unlikely would it be that Ruriks father tries to steal away Ash during a ceremony where everyone wears masks, and I mean Rurik just already knows his father and Ash's father have infiltrated the school and convinced a doctor to make a false report and all that shit. And STILL Rurik loses Ash out of sight. Multiple times. I wanted to throw my kindle. That's so not streetsmart for a bunch of mafia and yakuza babies, who have murdered and are into real bad shit.

3. The Astor Paradox
So this is spoiler heavy, but I need to explain my standpoint.
So Astor is in the College under a Fake Name Ash.
Ruriks Parents got divorced because his father had an affair. The children are all behind their mother and hate their father and want to kill him for the affair for 2 years already, but they also want to kill the affair partner. (For one your dad is a grown up asshole. Hating the affair partner? Sure, but trying to hunt him down? What exactly is the persons fault if they...maybe not knew? Because the kids also don't know what the affair partner knew or not.) They are not able to track down the affair partner. They do know the name though. So this is the gist of the situation. Rurik does not know Ash's real name. Astor has cousins at the College who know his real name and occassionally missname him.
So Rurik stalks Ash and sees him at a bar with a girl. He finds out it's someone he knows (K, part of the secret society) and asks her, who she is here with, while he saw her 5 seconds ago with Ash.
Page 205: Ash's Cousin (Viv) says "Astor - I mean Ash. My Cousin."
(Viv is btw the same person as K, 2 names one person for...reasons I guess)
So no biggie can be overseen and I thought, mhm maybe he will figure out that Ash is really Astor, maybe there is a whole secret thing going on...a little mystery. Maybe Ruriks father slept with Ash's dad? And that name was somewhere mentioned as his son...uuuh fun.
Page 206: "But then the name she said clicks. Astor. My blood runs cold. She said Astor. I almost missed it in my rage. It can't be related."
So he goes on a few pages again and again, that he has an itch about the name, wondering if its Ash's brothers name.
But then...for around 100 pages...it doesn't even come up again. It's just...kind of forgotten.
We then learn that Rurik's father cheated on his mom with "Astor Hastings".
Like.... do his spider senses tingle because Viv called Ash Astor? NO THEY DON'T. He doesn't dare to ask Ash who Astor is. Technically Ash doesn't need to tell him. Really...how dumb do you want to be. It is not a common name. And on top...why does he not ask Viv who is part of the secret society, who Astor is??????? "Yo bro, what's the name of Ash's brother btw? He talked about him, and I forgot his name *wink wink*" or a sidelined "Whats your dad's name btw? and your brothers? Because I want to know everything about you baby."
It takes until page 327 until Rurik realises Ash is Astor. And just because he finds a photo of Ash's family...with his father in it. Astor Hastings is the assumed affair partner of his dad. Shocker.
Ngl this was so dumb.
Secret Society. Smart people who make riddles for new candidates.

And sorry but the argument of "He didn't want to believe it so he pushed it away" is so weak. Rurik invades 99% of Ash's privacy and needs to know everything about him, but here he's just like "meh, it happened but...I'm kind of ignoring the signs." The signs being a 1km² red flag.

4. General editing (Seems like at least one error has been fixed automatically by kindle? Idk if the book got redownloaded, but I didn't imagine these errors, I swear. I double checked them. I'll cross them out if I see they have been changed, but I'll probably forget about this in a bit....Also DAMN all the pages do not fit anymore, I guess they did upload another version. I doubt I'm gonna read it again....)
The amount of weird grammar and wrong written words... This is not an "All-List" just a few examples (Mainly from later, because it started to really annoy me.)
- Page: 51: "He drags the skull closer so we're nearly face to face." Scull, you mean scull right? Or are your hands around his skull while you draghim sideways while both of you are in a scull?
- Page 254: "He managed to grab the taser again and tires to press it to my skin." Another spelling mistake. I mean I get what was meant, but with the amount of mistakes...meh.
- Page 315: "He wants to make sure his investment is appreciating the way he expects." I'm not a native speaker and nails roll up. Look, I know shit about tenses, I slept in these classes. I chose my tenses by "Feeling" After reading hundreds of books and fanfictions in english. It's "Appreciated" right? I mean correct me if I am wrong.
- Page 343: "You were a child, and he is an adult." If we speak about the past (2 years ago), we should use past tense. Sue me, but He was an adult.
- Page 344: "He's words ignite a tiny spark of hope." Yeah maybe his words do.
- Page 354: "Hey, let he who is capable of hitting two birds throw the first stone!" <- what? Just what. Probably should be him?
- Page: 358: "You said this place has a place I can hook up to the ethernet" Probably meant this palace has a place, but it did sound stupid.
- Page 389: "I wanted him buried like that. Make sure he's..." Sounds wonky tense wise.
- Page 397: Rurik got the keys for the Rolls Royce. Rurik makes the bodyguards sit in the back. Someone, no clue who tbh, says "I want to drive the Rolls." Is it Rurik? If yes, you already have the keys, you talked about an appointment before, I mean where is the sense in that statement? It's also not followed up on...unneeded statement.
- Page 404: "When I come around the trees, I see Rurik standing there wearing the huge smile he does and my heart melts." <- I mean this just sounds really wonky. Why are we not just saying "I see R standing there with a huge smile (on his lips). Sue me, but it doesn't sound eloquent... it sounds wonky asf.

5. Bodies are not bodying
This was something that came to my attention from the start, when it comes to "sexy" scenes between the two MMC's.
Usually I have a distant picture in my mind how the situation is with the two bodies. But in this book? Damnit was it chaotic.
- First example starts on page 80.
Rurik stalks Ash and is in his room when Ash wakes up. Rurik silences Ash with a hand over his mouth. Ash tries to defend himself, but fails.
So one hand on Ash's mouth, he brings his other hand around Ash's neck. Both hands occupied. Rurik pins Ash back against the wall, knee between Ash's legs to incapacitate him. Ash grabs Ruriks neck in return, but Rurik isn't having it and prys Ash's hand away. With...what hand. It's not the one on his mouth because he keeps threatening Ash to not scream. So ok the Hand on Ash's neck is gone. Gotcha. Rurik pins Ash's wrists (YES PLURAL) above Ash's head against the wall.
Ash growls a little and withdraws back.... where? He is pinned against the wall?
Little talky bla, he removes the hand from his mouth and keeps it on Ash's jaw.
They have a Talky Talk again. Ash makes a real effort to fight himself free. And Rurik grabs Ash's wrist and pins it above his head together with the other wrist. Excuse me Mr. Author...wasn't that fist already pinned there? What hand is he even using, when Rurik Hand 1 pins (maybe one, maybe two) wrists above Ash's head and the other is on his chin/throat?).
But it gets even funnier. Because then Rurik shoves a hand between them to touch his well...bulge. Where does that hand come from????? Is Rurik an octopus? This scene was....confusing.

- Second example is the first penetrative scene, which threw me off so much too, it is a primal CNC scene. Just as a warning if you do not want to know. I will try to keep sexual details out of the explanation.
Rurik attacks Ash and throws him on the ground. Ash is on his back, because he gets an knee between the two. Rurik counters every attempt of Ash to get free. Ruriks hips pin Ash's down. Clothes get ripped off, hands are touching Ash's body yada yada. Pants are around Ash's ankles. Rurik removes enough clothes for this to work. They kiss face to face. They fuck... not exactly face to face but close enough for Ash to put his hands under Rurik's shirt. And Rurik leaves marks on Ash's neck. So yeah you get the position kind of...until you don't.
Rurik pulls back, flips Ash over and continues. And I quote Page 247:
"He pulls back and I cling to him, needing his weight, but he flips me over and drives back into me, falling forward to completely cover his body with mine."
So.... Ash is on top? Rurik flipped them, so Ash is riding him? Nope.
Because a few sentences later we get this gem:
"He slows, (...) smiling into my neck, collapsing on top of me." So he had flipped Ash on his belly, but why is Ash on top of him then?
This made no sense and should have been found in editing and betareading.


Minor Inconveniences
- Can we not name a sidecharacter King, when he is going to interact with an actual King? Why did the dude need to be named "King"?
- Can we explain why K is Viv apart from "I want to keep my identities separated.". Can we at least get an explanation why "K" why not V....? why a single letter?
- for a dark romance, the murder and torture really felt flat and skipped over.
- we never got to see Rurik's mom's reaction to the reveal. We were robbed.

All in all, this is just not the standard I am used to by this author. I don't know what went wrong, maybe there was pressure to release the book, or they accidently released an early ARC version instead of the finished product. I don't know. There is so many more points that annoyed me a little, but not enough to mention.
And it's really sad, because I know this could be a book that I'd eat up and would be giddy about. I liked the characters, I liked the representation of mental illness, I liked the "plottwist" in general who Astor is. I enjoyed him getting revenge. I even liked the buildup of the relationship. And while I always prefer a verse couple, I was fine with strict roles, because it fits their relationship. I mean I was even fine with skipping the murder scenes. (All of them? They were all alive when we last saw them... the murders were...kind of skipped over btw, we also never got Astor meets the mom and explains it. We don't get the Mom's shock to the reveal...sad.)
This could have been a fun read, not much to think about, just a psychopahic golden retriever murder muffin and his grumpy controlling black cat. I eat that shit up usually.

I am even struggling to give a final rating.
It's probably a 1,5*.

I like the potential this book had, the story idea. I like the vision so much.
I hate the editing though.
It reads like a midway draft.
And I paid for it. I did not sign up for an ARC. So... I have to judge it by that standard.
If I had received that copy a month or two away from release and I would have been told "we gonna fix the issues", this would have been a solid 3-4* for the story and the fun I had with Rurik and Ash.
I'm pretty sure at this stage it would be hard to erase ALL plotholes...but I could have vibed with it probably.

I wanna highlight, that my intention is not to "slander" the author. I usually do not write such long reviews, haven't done any as detailed with quotes and my thoughts in this depth ever.
All I want is to get this book in a good version as a 2nd in this series, because I do not want to give up on this author...yet. I had some really good hours with past books...and am probably just very disappointed by the quality of this book.
I am aware that one does not simply "Write" and it's good.
So I wonder at what stage this all went wrong... was it time pressure? Has the editor changed? A genuine wrong upload to Kindle? (I used Amazon Germany to buy it, don't know anything about the process...don't know if that matters.)

*big sigh*
I should probably not waste my time with such long reviews....

[Monikat · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really, really enjoyed this.
The set up reminds me very much of another beloved book but was different enough that made everything interesting. Being the first book in the series, it introduced many new characters which took time to get used to. I'm sure we'll get to meet them all better in the following books (I can't wait 🤗)
Rurik....he was something else. At first so annoyingly persistent and pushy, but turned into a loveable puppy. A fierce protector. A great mc. (A Nikolai iykyk)
Ash, poor sweet dark gloomy cloud Ash, needs time to come around. And lots of help despite his fierceness and competency. (A Brandon iykyk). Dark, dramatic and funny. This book had it all and I couldn't put the book down.
On my favorites list💯

[Sabrina · Rating 5 out of 5]

I had so much fun reading this book. Rurik and Astor/Ash completely pulled me in, and their dynamic was everything I wanted.

I loved Rurik SO MUCH!! He was hilarious, completely unhinged, ridiculously obsessed, and somehow so damn endearing at the same time. I love all kinds of psychos, but I think my favorite will always be the psycho sunshine/golden retriever type. Rurik gave me Niko vibes many times, so obviously that helped a lot too 🤪

My heart really hurt for everything Astor/Ash had been through. There were moments when I thought this could become a difficult read for me, but then Rurik would come along with his beautifully chaotic energy and somehow make everything feel a little lighter. He was exactly what Astor/Ash needed. I loved watching him slowly realize how much peace Rurik brought into his life, while Rurik was over there ready to obsessively research every problem just so he could find a way to help him 🥹

And their relationship? The obsession, the devotion, the possessiveness, the way they became each other’s safe place… I ate it all up. I especially loved the little pieces of sea glass and what they came to mean. That was such a beautiful detail and one of my favorite parts of their story 💚

I laughed so much while reading this, and I loved getting to watch these two find their way to each other. I’m already really excited to see what’s coming next in this series.

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
3.5 🌶️

[Colleen E. · Rating 1 out of 5]

Poor imitation of God of fury (GOF). It’s embarrassing. how similar it is to GOF. The morally gray MMC character was a poor imitation of Nico. Nico watched Bran from the bushes this MMC watched the guy in a tree.
The writing was also very choppy.

[Kiandra &#x1f98b; · Rating 2 out of 5]

Well….. I don’t know about this one 🫠 I usually love this author but this writing was not working for me this time.

[Melissa Mejia · Rating 5 out of 5]

I had the pleasure of receiving this as an e-ARC and voluntarily will be giving my honest review. Man this book has plenty of twists and turns!! I absolutely loved this storyline with a secret society and two very opposite MCs and that ending chefs kiss!! Can’t wait ti read more from this Author!!

“Is stalking just a one sided meet cute?

Ash Conrad throws his meticulously curated life plans out the window to attend an Ivy League. In a country he’s never been to, against family tradition, all in the hope of gaining entrance to an ancient and exclusive secret society.

The Legacy of Power isn’t just an elite secret society, it’s where the heirs of the criminal underworld play. Admittance would guarantee Ash access to the type of people who might help him save his brother.
But first he has to get through Rurik Locke.

Son of the world’s most notorious assassins, Rurik’s family founded Legacy. He’s a ruthless, violent enigma of a golden retriever—who’s not above a little stalking—and is utterly obsessed.

Ash needs his help, but Rurik’s chaos threatens every aspect of the careful structure he’s built to survive.

They’re about to find out the skeletons in their closets are a lot more intertwined than they realize, and Ash will have to let Rurik in to save them both.”

[Flora.reads.books · Rating 1 out of 5]

The plot in this book has more holes than Swiss cheese. 💀

I can't believe I read the whole thing. I did this to myself, and I regret everything.

It could've been good, but it's extremely poorly executed. So much wasted potential and so many freaking plot holes. 😩😩😩 And I felt absolutely nothing for either MMC.

Oh, and cats can't snap you out of sleep paralysis. I don't know where the author read that, but it's BS. 😅 I have sleep paralysis AND seven cats. Cats can make you feel safer, but they can't magically snap you out of an episode because they sensed it. That's ridiculous. 😂 Unless you have a magical cat, but in that case, let's not make it a general rule, yeah? Yeah.

[MM.Romancebooks · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book had me in a chokehold the entire time. I am OBSESSED with these two. 😭❤️
I wholeheartedly loved Rurik and his absolute obsession with Ash, and Ash was just so precious. My heart hurt for him so much.
The plot twist had me even more on edge, and I felt so bad for everything he was going through.
But what I loved most was Rurik and Ash together. Rurik was so completely committed to him, he never distrusted Ash or doubted him and there was something so wholesome about that unwavering devotion. I genuinely believed in their love and their connection.
The way everything between them was so explosive from the very beginning, the depth of the connection they built, and especially the way Rurik helped Ash heal… it was EVERYTHING to me. Their relationship completely stole my heart.I had butterflies in my stomach throughout reading their story and felt so connected to them. WOW’
Definitely one of my top reads of the year. I loved it so, so, SO much. ❤️‍🔥
CHECK TRIGGER WARNINGS!
(THERE ARE A LOT OF Questionable Scenes in the beginning & it deals with a lot of CSA!
Don’t go in blind if you have any triggers please❤️)

[Kate · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is what MM romance perfection looks like. Your welcome.

“He’s not just a snack. He’s my last fucking meal. Worth death row for. He can end me himself if he’ll let me bury myself inside him first.”

Seriously loved this.

[Anna-Maria Kronegger · Rating 2 out of 5]

Feels like a poor people's version of God of Fury.
Characters are missing some depth for me, I feel like it was published prematurely.

And don't get me started on all the mistakes, I am not a native speaker and dyslexic, so if I pick up on a lot of mistakes there have to be a lot. Did no one proofread this book? Once there was even a chapter with the wrong person at the beginnen (it said Rurik but was Astor's POV, or the other way around).

Honestly with so many mistakes I am glad I have Kindle unlimited, I would have been pissed if I paid for that book. never had this feeling before with any of the authors books.

[Gem McGuire · Rating 5 out of 5]

ARC Review

I was lucky enough to get my hands on an ARC of this book, and it was my first J.R. Gray book too boot. What a beautiful first impression. I loved the dynamic of Ru and Ash. The juxtaposition of Rurik, a golden retriever, psychopathic chaos goblin, and Astor, the very buttoned-up, undiagnosed but definitely on the spectrum prince, was amazing. I loved every second of their love story. The trauma that Ash has lived through is spoken about periodically, and I had guessed the twist prior to it being talked about; it was done without being explicit, but for some reason made it worse for me. It genuinely rattled me, and I felt so bad for both of them.

The only criticism of this book was that the end felt rushed. It spent so much time on the relationship that the ending felt like it was an afterthought. The revenge Ru and Ash took for the trauma inflicted on them felt incomplete. However, the love story was glorious. The spice scenes are a grey area of consent, but so well done that it doesn't feel like trauma with a bow on it.

Rurik is now a favorite MC for me. He was so funny and well written. The forbidden marshmallow did me in a little, though. I do think that we would be friends. I have also shipped some of the other characters in the books; I can't wait to see what the rest of this universe brings.

[This.Girl.Readss · Rating 5 out of 5]

Obsessed would be an understatement! I loved Rurik & Astor so much! Rurik, a lovable psycho and Astor, is his complete opposite but somehow, they work. Once Ru decides he wants Astor, he never changes his mind. He stalks him, joins him in his morning rows and basically sticks to him like glue until Astor starts to come around. It was a little slow in places but I was enjoying the ride so much, I didn’t mind. It was humorous, dark, mysterious and I loved it. There were so many amazing side characters too so I hope we get to see more of all of them in the future.

[Moon · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book is a complete rip-off of God of Fury. Nothing is original. If you don't believe me, read God of Fury by Rina Kent, then try this. It is nothing more than a Great Value version of what Rina Kent did years ago. I am shocked that authors are doing this. I saw the same thing happen with Sarah J. Maas after ACOTAR became popular. I mean, there is inspiration, and then there is straight-up copying with a few minor tweaks. Unfortunately, this is the latter.

[Lionelle Pmuls (That's Slump Backwards & It's What I Do)]

DNF
- Going to try again later

I'm just not in the right set of mind to read this kind of story. I'm a bit sad bc I was super excited
This was on me. I love JR Gray's books so I imagine this book is no different 💗

[SJ · Rating 5 out of 5]

"Is stalking just a one sided meet cute?"

Yes! The dark MM rom-com itch has been scratched so good.

Gahhhhh Rurik and Ash are goals. So freakin adorable together. Their top-notch verbal sparring was seriously so good, I was giggling and kicking my feet. Their connection and dynamic were undeniable and beautiful.

I love an unhinged psycho with golden retriever vibes. Ruric is an absolute delight. He's cheeky, and I love him. His inner monologue alone had me laughing out loud with how outrageous he was.

Aston, aka Ash, is a total grumpy little brat and total black cat. I just wanted to hug him. I loved seeing his defenses come down for Ruric.

I was not expecting the emotional gut punch I got there in the end. I loved this book from beginning to end.

Tropes:
College
Secret society meet-cute
Secret identity
Masked MMC
Obssesed Stalker
Golden retriever × Black cat
Possesive/Protective
Touch starved
Kink
Primal
Awekening
First times
Touch him and ☠️
Hurt/Comfort
Found family
Dual POV

Check TW


Thank you, TAA and J.R. Gray for the opportunity to read this book.

[Julia (bookish.jka) · Rating 4 out of 5]

“My blood sings when he kisses me like he does, with all the chaos in the universe sparking through him and from him to me. It’s a type of being alive that has no right to exist. Pure happiness like a drug.”

Well apparently stalking IS a love language!

Astor and Rurik are obsessive, possessive, morally questionable and spectacularly bad at leaving each other alone. Throw in an elite Ivy League secret society, criminal families, revenge, danger and plenty of “mine” and Vengeful Monster is a dark, dirty and entertaining ride.

Did it completely blow me away? No. Did I have a good time with these two and their deeply questionable life choices? Absolutely!

What To Expect:

🖤 MM romance
🖤 Dark academia
🖤 Secret society
🖤 “Mine”
🖤 Possessive obsessive
🖤 Criminal families
🖤 Revenge trope
🖤 Enemies to lovers
🖤 All the spice
🖤 Morally questionable men
🖤 HEA

3.75 rounded up to 4 ⭐

[Amanda Winter · Rating 5 out of 5]

Angst, obsession, unhinged psychopaths… yes please!

Rurik and Ash/Astor are complete opposites, but somehow they fit together perfectly. I was hooked from the start by their anything-but-cute meet-cute and the instant chemistry between them.

Astor is dealing with so much, and what he goes through is absolutely heartbreaking. He deserved so much better, and I loved seeing Rurik step in and help him face his monsters.

And Rurik? This man is unhinged in the best way! He becomes completely obsessed with Astor, and while Astor is constantly telling him to leave him alone, Rurik is basically like, “Nope. You’re mine.” The way he takes care of his family while being completely relentless when it comes to Astor was everything.

Their dynamic is intense, a little toxic, completely obsessive, and somehow incredibly sweet at the same time. I loved watching them find their way to each other.

And that plot twist?! WHAT?! I absolutely did not see it coming, and that ending was seriously chef’s kiss.

J.R. Gray definitely knows how to deliver the angst, obsession, and feels. I also loved the supporting cast so much that I now want a book for every single one of them!

Tropes:
✨ Enemies/strangers to lovers
✨ Obsessive/possessive MC
✨ Forced proximity
✨ Hurt/comfort
✨ Morally grey/unhinged MC
✨ Dark romance
✨ Secret society
✨ Protective MC
✨ Found family
✨ HEA

[MeadowsLovesBooks · Rating 5 out of 5]

“I can’t get deep enough inside you,” he whispers against my ear. “I want to crawl inside your skin and inhabit you completely.”

*Check content warnings before reading*

This was a fabulous and fun read (even with the heavy themes and trauma with poor Ash.) Rurik had me laughing throughout with his crazy antics. He is unhinged in the absolute best way and once he “imprints” on Ash, it’s all over for both of them. I’m very intrigued to see where the series takes us, given the fascinating cast of characters we meet.

Read this if you’re into a college age John Wick-ish style dark romantic suspense!

🗡️ Murderous golden retriever
🗡️ Touch him and die…seriously
🗡️ Secret Society
🗡️ Stalking as a love language
🗡️ The family that kills together, stays together

Highly recommend!

[Nena Taylor · Rating 4 out of 5]

I love secret societies and the academic setting. I really loved the character Ruoik, he was something else. Possessive, adorable, a huge flirt, stalker he was cool. I didnr really care so much for Ash, he just kinda seemed like a side character even tho he was always a main character. I don't know how to explain it lol I had fun with this one

[Rei · Rating 5 out of 5]

THIS IS WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT WHEN I SAY I LOVE A WELL BALANCED DARK ROMANCE! This was total perfection. JR gives us the darkness, some big time heavy humor (I love MCs who make me cackle *forbidden marshmallows*), a heavy dose of delicious spice, and some properly planned out trauma that’s detailed enough to make you feel the feelings but also not super triggering.

I tend to collect favorite characters like they’re Pokémon and I’m happy to report the Rurik is one of my new fighters prepared for battle. And this energetic psycho is prepared to take anyone down! JR described him perfectly as a murderous golden retriever. His vibe was such a spot on match for prickly little black cat Ash. That boy is feisty, armed with all the snark. I was obsessed with their banter, but loved the care Rurik showed for Ash even more. There’s something special about MCs who just know the person belongs to them and proceeds with life like it is what it is and it’s not up for discussion 😂.

[ashlee ❤ · Rating 5 out of 5]

Astor + Rurik

-dark mm romcom
-secret society
-black cat x golden retriever
-psycho/stalker
-royalty
-masked men

well damn. haha these boys were both kinda psychos but i always love a psycho whos down bad!! my favorite, baby ru! lol get your man king!

[amanda Williams · Rating 5 out of 5]

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Vengeful Monster by JR Gray

Rurik and Ash (Astor) are total opposites, but somehow they fit together perfectly. I absolutely loved watching these two come together.

What Ash/Astor goes through is heartbreaking. Everything he has endured is just awful, and the fact that someone who is supposed to be “on his side” could treat him that way? Absolutely not. He deserved so much better.

And Rurik…🔥 This man is just BADASS. The way he takes care of his family is honestly so sweet, but the way he goes after Ash/Astor? His obsession is on a whole other level. 😂🔥 And honestly? I was HERE FOR IT.

These two have such an intense dynamic, and I loved every bit of it.

And that ending??? CHEF’S KISS. 💋💋💋

JR Gray definitely knows how to give us the angst, obsession, and feels. **Go read this book.

[Jine · Rating 5 out of 5]

5 stars is not enough i am emotionally unwell! LOL oh my god this was the best book I’ve read this year so far! So we have Rurik and Ash! Ash is trying to get into this secret society because he needs protection for his brother who’s going to be king! The first time Rurik lays eyes on Ash in his mask he’s like yep he’s mine that’s it! Despite Ash repeatedly saying I’m straight Ru does not care because he can see how Ash’s body responds to him! So Ru does what any sane person does and stalks him LOL just a little light stalking and he can see that Ash is wound very tight and he has a strict schedule so he starts joining him early in the morning for rowing! Ash gets used to his presence so much so he starts looking for him!
Ash is reluctant at first but oh does his body betray him!! So slowly but surely he gives into Ro; Ro isn’t supposed to interact with him because of the rules of the legacy but he does anyway the way he’s so protective over Ro is so damn cute! He gives him little nicknames and leaves him little pieces of sea glass that match the color of his eyes! Ash is under so much pressure because he believes that his brother will be in trouble if he doesn’t have extra protection so he tries to keep in good faith with his godfather!
This story had SO many twists and turns I gasped SO much! I loved their story what they had to go through to get a happy ending! There’s blood and gore and ooooh the spice was spicing! I’ll never ever look at a capri sun the same way again LOL
I love how we have interesting and funny supporting characters in Ash’s cousins Viv and Finn and Ros brothers and best friends
Ro really is a giant golden retriever because anytime Ash does something he likes he lights up like a Christmas tree!
Ash has demons one in particular a sleep paralysis one and Ro vowed to kill it and oh boy did he!!
The epilogues were absolutely perfect!! I had so many fav quotes from this one!!

“I have a sword you can experiment with,” I tease. “Isn’t that what we’re doing?” he asks, my innuendo seeming to go right over his head as we circle each other.

“Not everyone is as good with the equipment as they claim to be!”

“You look good under me. Just how I pictured it.” I force the blades closer to his face.

“Where did you come from, little monster?”

“Good morning, pretty boy,”

When it’s a job, it’s all ‘you’re a savant’ and ‘doing the family name proud,’ but when it’s a guy you want to fuck suddenly, it’s ‘concerning behavior’ and ‘everyone is worried about you’.

If I’m going to take this newfound Ash Stalker™ (got to make it official) identity thing seriously, I should get one of those high-powered lens cameras for research, obviously.

“Stop fighting this. You know you want to let me in, baby.”

Why did I even enjoy the flicker of happiness in my day? There happiness in my day? There must be something wrong with me. Maybe I’m developing Stockholm’s. I hate the disappointment seeping into my chest. What is wrong with me? I didn’t want him here. 

“I had a thing that went long. I would have been here. Don’t be mad, baby.”  “I’m not mad. I enjoyed the peace.” I’d never admit I looked for him this morning. Embarrassing. I am clearly showing signs of mental decline. I need therapy not to give in to him.  “You don’t have to admit it to me. I can just tell.” He presses his face into the back of my neck, making a shiver run up my spine. 

“I’m not a psychopath. My mom had me tested.”

Rurik spots me. A smile stretches across his face. He’s like a fucking murderous golden retriever. All of him a contradiction. He bounces, like he’s excited to see me, and I’m sure he’s about to come over when a guy throws an arm across his chest. 

“You better not have fucking let her touch you.” Anger fills my brain with a thick fog. “I’ll kill her if she put a single finger on you.”

“Rurik.” I groan, and I can’t believe the sound is coming out of me.  “Yes, baby?” He flicks the ball of his tongue piercing against my lips.  “I can’t.” My words tremble.

A tiny piece of green sea glass sits there.

But I believe in my baby and I’m not exactly against helping him a little, if he decides to be nice.

“I bet you missed me.” I hate that he’s right. “No, really, Rurik.”  He groans, getting in my space. “I love when you say my name. Do it again.”  “You’re making me regret saying it the first time.”  He leans in, bringing his face a breath from mine. “I don’t believe you.” 

“And I’m going to keep not believing you as long as you make those sounds, beautiful.” 

“Rurik…” “Fuck. You’re killing me.” He presses his forehead into mine but still doesn’t kiss me. “You like me saying your name that much?” I rub my nose over his, not even realizing what I’m doing until it happens.

“Are you saying you want to kiss me, Ash?” 

He kisses me. He. Kissed. Me.

“Are you going to do anything to hide that?”  “What?” I glance down at myself.  “The python you look like you’re smuggling in your trousers.”  “Aw, baby, do you not want anyone else to see my python?”

“Everyone fucks in the library. It’s like a college rite of passage.”  “Everyone?” His eyes darken, and he snatches my wrist, preventing me from going further. “So you’ve fucked someone here before?”  “Are you jealous?” And my cock is even harder than before. “What would you do to them if I had fucked someone in here?”  “Answer the question, Rurik.” He’s never used this tone with me, and I’d be full of shit if I said I didn’t like it. 

“I’m not jealous, and I’m not a conquest.”  “You are so much more than a conquest, baby

I force my lids to lift, glancing up into his face. I shouldn’t have. I’ll never be able to forget the way he’s gazing at me. A type of worship, a reverence, like he’s ready to kneel at my altar, is etched into the molecules he’s made of. 

“You’re doing so good.” His words bury themselves in my senses until I’m sure I won’t be able to taste or smell anything but him for days.  “I have no idea what I’m doing.” I break our kiss, and he fights me with his hold on my jaw. “Trust me.”

“All mine.” “Give it to me,” I demand. Rurik pries his eyes open. “How badly do you want it?”  “It’s mine.”

Rurik looks me right in the eyes with his huge grin. “If I could pop a straw in it and drink your 💦 like a Capri Sun, I would.”

“Aw, you’re the baby. My baby.”

“I see you trying to mask your reactions. Don’t.”  “I can’t help it. I’ve been trained to my whole life.”  “Not with me.”

“I’m sure there are plenty of other people to occupy your mind.” “There isn’t room for anyone else where you exist.”

“Fuck…Ru…” He moans the nickname, and I don’t even fucking care if it’s on purpose. My entire life’s goal is now to get him to say it again.

“Is this okay?” “You’re perfect, baby boy.”

Rurik rips me open and climbs inside, whether I want it or not.  But now that I know what it feels like to be filled by him, I dread when I must return to empty.

You’re delusional.”  “I told you, I’m not. My mom had me tested.”

“What do you want me to call you if not by your name?”  “You could try ‘baby,’ but that will probably do the same thing, so maybe…Ru?” 

“I think you’re having a nightmare again.” Rurik wraps an arm around me, yanking me into his arms. 

“That’s better,” he murmurs against the back of my neck while stroking his fingers just under the hem of my shirt. “Relax. I’m here.” “You’re okay.” He presses his lips just under my hairline. “Did you have a bad dream?” The care is unmistakable, and my body leaves the panic behind faster than I believed possible.  He so easily broke me from the sleep paralysis. 

“Yes.” He is so proud of himself, but he’s also soft. “My brother used to have panic attacks, too. We didn’t grow up like normal kids. My mom tried, but it’s just not possible. It never really affected me or Locke, but Nik is much more sensitive than I am. Like he got a double dose of feelings and took all of mine. We saw a lot of shit kids probably shouldn’t see. So I had my therapist teach me how to help. I used to sleep next to him so I’d wake up if he’d start to panic, and then I’d help him breathe.” 

How do people let things they love just fucking walk around with all the goddamn hazards that exist?!  Oh no. Exactly what I just thought hits me.  Love. Well, that escalated quickly. 

“Did I help?” “Yes.” He hesitates. “Usually, a person grounds me and snaps me out of it. But I felt so heavy, like even you couldn’t bring me out of it. And I just kept expecting you to be an illusion. For you to turn into the demon because I wasn’t coming out of it.” “So it helps when I touch you?” “Yes.” He practically melts into me. “It’s basically stopped happening since you’ve been staying here.

And now I got beef with a fucking demon in Ash’s brain. That seems fine.

I need you.” I can’t believe I’m admitting it but I do. More than anything else in the world.

“Obviously. I go to a lot of effort to have a romantic date night and make sure you get exactly what you asked for, you should be grateful.” I really don’t think appreciation is too much to ask for.  “We are not dating.” He tries to lift me off his chest, and it’s kinda adorable.  “Aw, baby. Yes, we are.” As if he had a choice. Adorable he thinks so.

I get him tucked into bed, then go to the window and set a piece of sea glass on the sill

“What does it do to you?” He coils around me tighter, like he’s going to squeeze me to death, but it’s strangely comforting. I have no other choice than to breathe with him. I swallow back a sob. “Everything.”

Rurik is the light I didn’t know I needed. “Because.” He kisses my neck. “I.” He bites the spot. “Help.” He finds my lips and looks into my eyes. “All I want to do is make you happy.”  I smile, this time genuine. “You do.” 

“It’s too much for you to hold by yourself.” “I know.” “I’ll help anyway I can.” I believe him.

“I want to crawl inside your skin and inhabit you completely.”  “I want you to stay here forever.”  “No one else is ever allowed to touch you again. You are mine.”

“What are you feeling?”  “My stomach is all funny. Like someone shook me like a snow globe.”  He blinks then starts laughing.  “I didn’t realize I was being funny. I could be dying!” Ash grabs the back of my head, pulling me in for a kiss. “Are you nervous for me to meet your siblings?”  “Nervous? No! I’ve never been nervous about anything in my life. I don’t even think I can feel that.” I bite his lip then kiss him harder, nearly pulling him into my lap.  “It sounds like butterflies in your stomach.” He’s still holding back a laugh.  “Preposterous! Maybe I gave myself a stomach ache with forbidden marshmallows.” I side-eye him. Ash shudders and gags. “There’s something seriously wrong with you.”  “I already disclosed I was a psychopath.”

“I like it,” Ash says quietly.  I turn on him, gasping. “Excuse me? What do you like?”  “I like knowing this isn’t how you are with everyone.” Ash looks at his hands like it’s embarrassing. But he’s not the one with his best friend and brother spilling all his secrets. “That this version is only for me.”  “I’m melting. Like the forbidden marshmallow!” I climb into his lap again, covering his fucking cute ass face in kisses. “It is only for you.”

This fucking psycho arsehole did it. He made me fall in love with him. 

And the way he looks at me. Like he’s obsessed. I can’t get enough of it. I only wish I’d let him in sooner. I wasted so much time pushing away the best thing I’ve ever had. I know I don’t deserve Rurik, but I can’t let go. 

‘I don’t want to think about the demon having your eyes.’

“I’ve been looking for my father’s affair partner for over two years, ever since I found out his name.”  “What’s his name?” “Astor Hastings.”

“I’m not leaving you.” He’s words ignite a tiny spark of hope.  “Don’t make promises you can’t keep.”  He drags my head up by my hair. “You’re never getting away from me.” “But—” “I told you. I own you. I’ve already planned our wedding.”

“I mean, yes, I’m a psychopath. I’ve told you that, but why do you say so?” “You already know how fucked up I am, and this is just another level. I’m neurotic and need a schedule, or I’ll go mad. I fixate. My dreams and a literal demon haunt my sleep, making me relive my trauma over and over. I can barely stand to be touched. Do you know how fucking broken I am?” The more I say the more I’m convinced he’ll come to his senses and just leave. “Then on top of all that, I’m the cause for your family’s ruin. Why the fuck would you still want me?”

A smile spreads over his lips as I speak, getting bigger with each word. And when I stop, he kisses me with it.  “You honestly want all of that?”  “You make me happy. I like your quirks and your schedule, even if getting up that early is a crime against your morning boner and my ability to enjoy it. You didn’t cause anything. My father dug his own piece of shit grave. He’ll be gone soon. My mom deserves so much better and has it with her girlfriend. I told you I’m killing the fucking demon, so he’s out. I’m not sharing,” Rurik says, and I think he actually believes he can. “And if I can’t strangle it with my bare hands, I’ve got lots of other stuff to try. I’ve been doing research.” “Research?” “Yes. Do you not research problems you want to solve?”  “There’s no cure for sleep paralysis…”  “No, but there are ways to manage it. Including treatment for trauma, a regular sleep schedule, which means your schedule keeping is good, and some other stuff I’m looking into.” He’s really been digging into this, and again, I’m blown away by how much he cares, how well he takes care of me. 

“You really planned our wedding?” I ask again when I realize he didn’t answer.  “You didn’t answer if this was too soon. I mean, you just got used to me calling us boyfriends. So I’m trying to act normal or whatever.”  “You can do that?” I deadpan.  “Act yes, be no.”  All I can do is laugh. But things feel a little lighter and for that I’m thankful. “Are you going to tell me what you planned?” Now I’m fucking curious.  “I have a few plans. One traditional and the rest contingency, in case you don’t go for it. Like I always do.” He smiles, clearly proud of himself. 

“It’s already better because I have you. I survived it. It can only get better from here, right?”

Ash growls into my mouth, and I’ve never been so hard in my life. “Are you getting possessive?” “No one else touches what’s mine.” “Fuuuuck. Come on. I need to see you alone.” I drag him to his feet.

“I regret to inform you that I’ll be murdering Gustav,” I announce because it feels right.

“Had I not gone to Exitier and met Rurik, you might have died before any of us realized what was going on. And I’d have been fucking locked up somewhere with Mikel, with no hope of escaping. Yes, my father put me in a worse position and sold me to Mikel, but he was doing that no matter where I went, and at least at Exitier, I found Rurik before it got much, much worse.”

“Oh! You mean you’re in a relationship with this young man?!” Uncle Frederik lights up and gets to his feet. “Forgive me. It’s been a long night with lots of processing. I’m delighted to hear this!” “You are?” I ask carefully. “Yes! Your mother would have been so excited to have a gay son. She used to take me to drag shows, for Heaven’s sake. Made me wear a disguise so I wouldn’t be recognized. It was a whole thing.” He smiles at the memory.

“Are you not turned on by my murder clothes, baby? Murder is a lot unsexier than they make it out to be in the movies.”

He’s hurt Rainier, and Frederik, and Viv, and Finn, and maybe most of all Rurik. I’ll never forgive my father for that. “I want you to tell me the truth.” I look my father in the eyes. “You sold me to Mikel?”

“Hypothetically, to save me a trip, would now be a good time to ask you for your permission to ask Ash to marry me? Too soon? I’m just gauging how that would go.” Did he really just… After killing… To my fucking uncle? I can’t with him. I pinch the bridge of my nose. “Not a day after you’ve meet him while you’re still wearing my dad’s blood.”

“As much as you want, my love.” Rurik freezes, and I realize what I said. “I, umm⁠—” “Your love?” I can hear the smile in his voice. “You were just telling my uncle you were going to marry me. I don’t think it’s that far⁠—” He shuts me up with a kiss. “I love you.” I melt into his lips, tears welling up in my eyes. “I love you.” His smile gets impossibly wider. “I’m never letting you out of my sight again. You belong to me.” “I know I do.”

“He doesn’t just like you. You’re like the sun he orbits around. He doesn’t do anything without looking for you.” Rainier glances over at them. “What, really?” “Did you not know? Even while shooting. He keeps checking on you, and when he’s close, his hands are always on you.” My cheeks pink. “I’m sorry. I know. He’s overly aggressive with the touching. He’s going to have to learn some decorum.” “It’s good for you, I think.” Rainier gives me a knowing smile.

Ash lays his head on my shoulder, and we watch the fire. “Thank you.” “For what, baby?” I tug him closer. “For everything you’ve done this year.” He glances up at me. “You are worth it. I’d do it a hundred times over.” “I don’t know why.” “Because I love you, baby.” Breaking the rules, I push his mask up and raise mine at the same time

“Baby!” He wraps his arms around me and picks me up, spinning me in a circle. “We’re finally rowing together! I knew I’d get you.”

“Really, Ru, what made you want to get a cat?” “You can’t call me that in public! Now I’m hard.” I grin. “Answer the question, boyfriend.” He groans, eyes widening. “Do that again.”“I read cats can sense sleep paralysis and they learn to get you out of it.”

I see another piece of sea glass on one of the steps. I bend down and pick it up and, in the process, see another.

I see they are paper lanterns, some floating in the air, others drifting. There has to be hundreds of them. I turn back to question Rurik, and he’s down on one knee. He holds up a little piece of sea glass. “Did you know penguins give their partners pebbles?” “No? What are you talking about?” “Penguins gift their partner little pebbles to build nests. They do it as a sign they want to build a nest with the other penguin. If the other penguin accepts the stones, they become a mated pair.”

I think of all the times I’ve found little pieces of sea glass on my windowsill or tucked into my things. He started soon after we met. He’s been leaving them for me for so long. Has he been pebbling me? I smile. “I want to build a life with you. But pebbles weren’t right. I couldn’t just leave you rocks.

I’m not that out of my mind. But you changed how I see everything, so when I found the little piece of glass on the river after we rowed one morning, I knew it was a sign. You are the green-tinted glass that changed how I view the world. I want to build our nest out of bright colors because you make my life brighter.” He holds up another piece of glass for me to take. “This is why you’ve been leaving me these?”“I had to start small. Building our nest.”

“I want to build a life with you. I knew I had to bring you to the water. It’s where I fell in love with you all those mornings. To our place. Even if it is and always will be the worst time of day.” He hands me the bag, and I press it into my chest. “You are so fucking romantic.” I wipe my eyes. He grins. “You make it as easy as breathing.” “How did you know all of this back then?” “I’ve always known.” He pulls out a tiny ring box, and my heart stops. “Will you be my husband, Astor?” It’s a band with little green stones inlaid in the textured silver like a river through the ring. It’s the most beautiful ring I’ve ever seen. It tied in the sea glass, and the river where we spent so much time. I dive at him, crying while kissing him, wrapping my arms around his neck. “Is that a yes?” he asks between kisses. “It’s a yes.” He breaks the kiss, growling at me when I try to attack him again. “Let me put the fucking ring on you!”

[Savannah · Rating 4 out of 5]

There’s a lot of things to love about this book. Ru with his obsessive, possessive, golden retriever ways. Astor is with stoic, yet secretly spicy side. Plus a throng of badass side characters aka Viv, the secret society, etc.

For me, this is one of those books you can’t help but enjoy for the main MMC’s but you stay for the unexpected aka the demon that plagues Astor’s dreams. However, I wasn’t totally prepared for the twist at the ending.

I do have to agree with other reviews that the pacing was a tad bit slower thus prolonging the story. Nevertheless, because I loved Ru’s antics and the inevitable fall by Astor (again who can’t help but love Rurik’s crazy self) it’s four stars from me.

[Vanessa V · Rating 3.5 out of 5]

3.5 ⭐️ rounded up

This book is somewhere between a 3 and a 4⭐️ for me, but I’m going to round it up because I really enjoyed the story and the characters! And by the end of the book, my curiosity was definitely piqued for the rest of the series.

Rurik absolutely made this book for me! I love a happy, lovable psychopath 😂 And the way he pursued Astor was kind of cute. I mean, everybody would want a man sitting in a tree branch outside their window, interested in their hobbies, right? 🤷‍♀️😂

Where this book made things a little difficult for me was the flow of the writing. I see the book playing out like a movie in my head while I’m reading, and sometimes I found myself thinking, “Wait… how did we suddenly change rooms?” 😂 Or somebody would start talking and I’d think, “Oh… there were other people here?” 🙈

The changes in setting sometimes felt a little too abrupt, and in my head it basically caused an image freeze 😂🙈

I don’t know if I’m explaining this properly, but I like my characters to stand up… walk to the door… and then enter another room. Not just suddenly teleport there 😂

But in the end, the story won me over, and I’m glad I didn’t give up on the book. The characters kept me invested, and now I’m definitely curious enough to see where the rest of the series goes.

READ THIS IF YOU LIKE

✨ A sunshine psychopath
✨ “I don’t want him… but I miss him when he stops stalking me” 😂
✨ Secret societies mixed with aristocrats
✨ A completely crazy family

[Karina Liebiedieva · Rating 4 out of 5]

8/10 Слухайте, а це було прям непогано, хоча точно хтось тут надихнувся НікоБреном, ахаха👬🏳️‍🌈. Динаміка така ж само, теж таємне товариство🗡️, теж таємниці🤔, травми🌪️ і психічні розлади у всіх☺️😅Мені не вистачило опису життя персонажа Рюріка, простигосподи (я спрочатку в голові читала інакше якось), ще вона трошки затягнута, проте згадок росіян немає

[Chasary Mendez · Rating 4.75 out of 5]

Advance readers copy from the author review

Omg! This book had it all. J.R. Love their writing.

Astor a prince!! Is trying to protect his brother and decides to join the legacy (secret society) his first trial is when he meets Rurik and oh my gosh how fun was that! Let’s just say “why you’re obsessed with me” vibes. ASTOR is also dealing with his own monsters.

RURIK Our happy go lucky psychopath until you piss him off. He’s instantly becomes obsessed with Astor. Astor is constantly telling Ru to leave him alone but Ru is like “No way You’re Mine” he helps Astor with his monsters while he dreams. He finally wins Astor over and that’s when the plot twist comes in I was like WTF!

ASH & RU are complete opposites in every way but they fit so well together the way they both care and love each other is a bit toxic but when you truly look at it it’s also beautiful.

I can’t wait and I hope they’re is a book 2!