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Orphans, Assassins and the Existential Eggplant
You'll love the talking eggplant! Take a quirky, fun, medieval journey with a gorgeous alchemist, teenage genius and a tiny, wisecracking, 600-year-old eggplant.
In this award-winning novel, you'll travel through strange but real medieval events with a heroic trio on a quest that's both weird and wonderful. And that's not all:
--Roll across continents on horses, ships and camels with a well-versed, naive and
love-struck teenager.
--March across medieval Europe with an army of misfits led by a boy prophet.
--Train with stoned and unlikely killers who terrorize Middle East rulers.
--Peek inside Hassan i Sabbah's ancient library of mystical and profane literature.
--Touch the petrified body of the world's first man, Adam.
--Get juicy gossip from a fresh, fast-talking, funny vegetable.
Orphans, Assassins and the Existential Eggplant shimmies through the early 13th century with a female alchemist, teenage prodigy and the one-and-only ancient, shrunken and truly heroic eggplant that can speak to whomever wears it.
In search of the fabled Lost Stone of Eden, they cross Europe and the Mediterranean with the Children's Crusade, hijack a caravan in the Sahara desert, live with hashish-fueled Assassins in the mountains of Persia and rediscover paradise on the island of Bahrain.
Orphans, Assassins and the Existential Eggplant won the Silver Medal Winner for Historic Fiction in The Wishing Shelf Book Awards, 2015.
In this award-winning novel, you'll travel through strange but real medieval events with a heroic trio on a quest that's both weird and wonderful. And that's not all:
--Roll across continents on horses, ships and camels with a well-versed, naive and
love-struck teenager.
--March across medieval Europe with an army of misfits led by a boy prophet.
--Train with stoned and unlikely killers who terrorize Middle East rulers.
--Peek inside Hassan i Sabbah's ancient library of mystical and profane literature.
--Touch the petrified body of the world's first man, Adam.
--Get juicy gossip from a fresh, fast-talking, funny vegetable.
Orphans, Assassins and the Existential Eggplant shimmies through the early 13th century with a female alchemist, teenage prodigy and the one-and-only ancient, shrunken and truly heroic eggplant that can speak to whomever wears it.
In search of the fabled Lost Stone of Eden, they cross Europe and the Mediterranean with the Children's Crusade, hijack a caravan in the Sahara desert, live with hashish-fueled Assassins in the mountains of Persia and rediscover paradise on the island of Bahrain.
Orphans, Assassins and the Existential Eggplant won the Silver Medal Winner for Historic Fiction in The Wishing Shelf Book Awards, 2015.
282 pages, Paperback
First published February 19, 2015
12 people are currently reading
257 people want to read
About the author
J.T. Gillett
1 book1 followerJ.T Gillett holds degrees in philosophy and journalism from the University of Oregon and studied at Naropa Institute’s Jack Kerouac School of Disembodied Poetics.
His accomplishments include meditating with Allen Ginsberg, chanting inside the Great Pyramid, climbing Mt. Shasta, marrying the woman of his dreams and raising two children who turned into amazing adults.
By day, he works as a writer and editor for a leading Global 2000 writing agency based in Ashland, Oregon and hikes the beautiful mountain trails on weekends. At night, he creates stories that combine reality with fantastic, peculiar characters and events--and sometimes he writes them down.
His stories and poems have appeared in a variety of Literary Journals since 1978, including City Lights Review 6 (1994), edited by Lawrence Ferlinghetti.
His accomplishments include meditating with Allen Ginsberg, chanting inside the Great Pyramid, climbing Mt. Shasta, marrying the woman of his dreams and raising two children who turned into amazing adults.
By day, he works as a writer and editor for a leading Global 2000 writing agency based in Ashland, Oregon and hikes the beautiful mountain trails on weekends. At night, he creates stories that combine reality with fantastic, peculiar characters and events--and sometimes he writes them down.
His stories and poems have appeared in a variety of Literary Journals since 1978, including City Lights Review 6 (1994), edited by Lawrence Ferlinghetti.
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Displaying 1 - 17 of 17 reviews
July 23, 2015
In Orphans, Assassins, and the Existential Eggplant, you get a sense very quickly that this will be an extraordinary book.
Besides the whole concept of a talking eggplant (I'm not kidding), there are the wonderful descriptive passage spread liberally throughout the book:
"If Hamdan could read the buxom clouds scattered above the horizon, or the delirious zebra fish swimming below, he'd know he'd be dead before the sun would rise again."
So goes one of the many fables touched on in this epic ride through the author's imagination. And, while we are mere readers along for the ride, we are nevertheless transported along with him across sand dunes and through castles, always with an upbeat, quirky bent that defies any kind of generalization.
We follow the protagonist, Aaron Sloopshire, as he encounters a menage of unique and memorable characters in a variety of scenarios, many that leave you weak from laughter -- especially at the sarcastic wit of the loquacious eggplant.
At one point, they come upon a strange and lonely woman in the Egyptian desert:
"She had become accustomed to the voices of the wind and sand, and was enraptured by the blood-and-bones in their voices. For the first time in quite awhile, she was certain she was alive. . . . (the woman) looked like a ghost with a suntan."
In another instance, Aaron has been kidnapped by a nefarious old man named Hassan and forced into service as an assassin. But, before he can carry out his first commission against a knight, he receives a startling revelation: a young woman with whom he had fallen in love early in the book is in the castle with the knight. But she is now a grown woman, and does not remember him at all. She stabs him, but he disarms her quickly and reflects on this unhappy chance encounter:
"While he bandaged his cut, Aaron suddenly saw the world in a brand new light. It was as if someone had sucked the wind out of him and sewed him up so no air and no light could get in. Just darkness."
What finally happens to Aaron in this unlikely, but well-told tale, I'll leave you as the reader to discover. At its core, this is a book with many layers -- although it is written with a deceptively light touch.
I give it five stars, and offer congratulations to a gifted first-time author.
Besides the whole concept of a talking eggplant (I'm not kidding), there are the wonderful descriptive passage spread liberally throughout the book:
"If Hamdan could read the buxom clouds scattered above the horizon, or the delirious zebra fish swimming below, he'd know he'd be dead before the sun would rise again."
So goes one of the many fables touched on in this epic ride through the author's imagination. And, while we are mere readers along for the ride, we are nevertheless transported along with him across sand dunes and through castles, always with an upbeat, quirky bent that defies any kind of generalization.
We follow the protagonist, Aaron Sloopshire, as he encounters a menage of unique and memorable characters in a variety of scenarios, many that leave you weak from laughter -- especially at the sarcastic wit of the loquacious eggplant.
At one point, they come upon a strange and lonely woman in the Egyptian desert:
"She had become accustomed to the voices of the wind and sand, and was enraptured by the blood-and-bones in their voices. For the first time in quite awhile, she was certain she was alive. . . . (the woman) looked like a ghost with a suntan."
In another instance, Aaron has been kidnapped by a nefarious old man named Hassan and forced into service as an assassin. But, before he can carry out his first commission against a knight, he receives a startling revelation: a young woman with whom he had fallen in love early in the book is in the castle with the knight. But she is now a grown woman, and does not remember him at all. She stabs him, but he disarms her quickly and reflects on this unhappy chance encounter:
"While he bandaged his cut, Aaron suddenly saw the world in a brand new light. It was as if someone had sucked the wind out of him and sewed him up so no air and no light could get in. Just darkness."
What finally happens to Aaron in this unlikely, but well-told tale, I'll leave you as the reader to discover. At its core, this is a book with many layers -- although it is written with a deceptively light touch.
I give it five stars, and offer congratulations to a gifted first-time author.
January 5, 2017
This book was entered and was a silver medal winner in The Wishing Shelf Book Awards. This is what our readers thought:
Title: Orphans, Assassins and the Existential Eggplant
Author: J T Gillett
Star Rating: 5 Stars
Number of Readers: 32
Stats
Editing: 10/10
Style: 10/10
Content: 10/10
Cover: 9/10
Of the 32 readers:
32 would read another book by this author.
30 thought the cover was good or excellent.
28 felt the blurb was enticing.
10 thought the well-developed characters were the best part of the book.
12 thought the pacing was the best part.
Readers’ Comments
‘A fantastically fun adventure. A very quirky sort of read. Enticing cover and blurb.’ Female reader, aged 55
‘There’s only one word to describe this writer: ‘Creative’. Oh, and ‘Imaginative’. Actually, ‘thoroughly entertaining’ would work perfectly. Oops. That’s two words. Anyway, he’s really good.’ Male reader, aged 26
‘There’s so much to this novel, I don’t know where to start. Firstly, it’s funny. Very funny. I laughed a lot. Then there’s the rich array of characters, all of them fascinating in one way or another. There’s also a plentiful supply of fantasy, and a hefty topping of myths and legends. Loved every page of it.’ Male reader, aged 52
‘Eggplant’s cool!’ Male reader, aged 21
‘This author is a very gifted writer. He is able to disguise a history lesson in a thoroughly entertaining and fast-paced novel. His descriptive work is particularly strong.’ Female reader, aged 43
‘A fantastically-funny, totally unputdownable history lesson. A Silver Medal Winner and highly recommended.’ The Wishing Shelf Book Awards
Title: Orphans, Assassins and the Existential Eggplant
Author: J T Gillett
Star Rating: 5 Stars
Number of Readers: 32
Stats
Editing: 10/10
Style: 10/10
Content: 10/10
Cover: 9/10
Of the 32 readers:
32 would read another book by this author.
30 thought the cover was good or excellent.
28 felt the blurb was enticing.
10 thought the well-developed characters were the best part of the book.
12 thought the pacing was the best part.
Readers’ Comments
‘A fantastically fun adventure. A very quirky sort of read. Enticing cover and blurb.’ Female reader, aged 55
‘There’s only one word to describe this writer: ‘Creative’. Oh, and ‘Imaginative’. Actually, ‘thoroughly entertaining’ would work perfectly. Oops. That’s two words. Anyway, he’s really good.’ Male reader, aged 26
‘There’s so much to this novel, I don’t know where to start. Firstly, it’s funny. Very funny. I laughed a lot. Then there’s the rich array of characters, all of them fascinating in one way or another. There’s also a plentiful supply of fantasy, and a hefty topping of myths and legends. Loved every page of it.’ Male reader, aged 52
‘Eggplant’s cool!’ Male reader, aged 21
‘This author is a very gifted writer. He is able to disguise a history lesson in a thoroughly entertaining and fast-paced novel. His descriptive work is particularly strong.’ Female reader, aged 43
‘A fantastically-funny, totally unputdownable history lesson. A Silver Medal Winner and highly recommended.’ The Wishing Shelf Book Awards
July 26, 2015
Even if this isn’t your usual style of book—venture out of your comfort zone and hitch on for the ride.
I probably wouldn’t have given this book a second glance if I hadn’t read the book review by Paul Rerucha. The image of him reading the book as he flew to Hawaii, and enjoying it so much that his wife kept asking him what was so funny as he giggled and laughed in his seat caught my attention, and I decided to read it.
Orphans, Assasins and the Existential Eggplant was a fun read—I giggled too…but it was more than that. The book was like nothing I’ve ever read before—a mixture of myth, history, fantasy, youthful dreams and reality. It was entertaining and thought provoking. Who could imagine a shriveled up eggplant as a conduit of guidance, wisdom, sarcasm and humor. I was amazed when Layla gave the priceless piece to Aaron Sloopshire in the first place.
I was glad that I went along for the ride—
I recommend this book to anyone who wants to try a different piece of literature!
I probably wouldn’t have given this book a second glance if I hadn’t read the book review by Paul Rerucha. The image of him reading the book as he flew to Hawaii, and enjoying it so much that his wife kept asking him what was so funny as he giggled and laughed in his seat caught my attention, and I decided to read it.
Orphans, Assasins and the Existential Eggplant was a fun read—I giggled too…but it was more than that. The book was like nothing I’ve ever read before—a mixture of myth, history, fantasy, youthful dreams and reality. It was entertaining and thought provoking. Who could imagine a shriveled up eggplant as a conduit of guidance, wisdom, sarcasm and humor. I was amazed when Layla gave the priceless piece to Aaron Sloopshire in the first place.
I was glad that I went along for the ride—
I recommend this book to anyone who wants to try a different piece of literature!
June 14, 2015
Where to start? This book is downright magical. So far from what I usually read, I was very pleasantly surprised with its parable-like storytelling. It’s got everything: adventure, magic, a love interest, an epic villain, and some profound life lessons. The writing is such that you don’t realize you’ve made it through half the book - it’s ornate and so wonderfully detailed. You can tell a great deal of effort was put into the creation of this epic read. As others mentioned, I too felt sad when it ended, completely vested in the characters and wandering plot. Gillett really gives the reader a unique treat with the story, and I definitely recommend you grab a copy today!
February 21, 2019
I loved the talking [and thinking] eggplant! To me, that made the whole silly story enjoyable and made up for the sometimes gross parts. A female alchemist, Layla, and an infatuated teenager, Aaron, set off in search of the "Lost Stone of Eden". Through this medieval romp, they are part of the Children's Crusade, involved with the Assassins Sect and search for a paradisiacal island. The eggplant is a tiny dried one Layla then Aaron wear as a pendant and with whom they can converse. Its sardonic humor, a running commentary on the action, had me in stitches sometimes.
July 21, 2015
I loved the eggplant! Other characters are good, but the book gets really interesting when the eggplant gets into the picture. It's an important character in the book that serves up plenty of sarcasm, humor and historical perspective, since the eggplant is over 600 years old.
May 31, 2015
Excellent book! Can't wait to read more from this author!
July 13, 2015
Won this book right here and I was very amazed at this book with the characters and their journey to find the Eggplant with so much twists and turns. worth reading again and recommending to friends!
July 21, 2015
Excellent read
Incredible story with vivid details an imagery. The way the story is told reminds me of the Alchemist by Paulo Coelho, another amazing book.
Incredible story with vivid details an imagery. The way the story is told reminds me of the Alchemist by Paulo Coelho, another amazing book.
September 8, 2015
Beginning in 13th century Europe, alcehemist Layla has spent ten years in an English castle studying, waiting for news of the Lost Stone, created from a falling star inthe Garden of Eden. Whoever possesses it will have immortality. She is preparing for travel to Egypt after St. Walpurga's eve.
When orphaned Aaron knocks on the castle door, then disappears, fortune smiles on Layla, drawing her away from the castle as the assasains strike. Layla weara a petrified eggplant on a chain around her neck. She is the only one who hears its sarcastic and opinionated comments.
Layla introduces Aaron to the magic of soap and the alphabet as she listens to his tails of cunning and survival. She considers keeping him around as an apprentice. Layla's stories educate Aaron and entertain the reader. Her tavel plans postponed for nearly a year.
I have to add, for any of you Big Bang tv fans, there is a note ain the book about a homunculis.
It is not quite Leonard's version.
With Layla away in London, then delayed far past her expected return, Aaron packs up the essentials and decides to go in search of her. This is where the wild adventures begin.
eventually a time arose where Layla and Aaron decide to go their separate ways, at least for a while. Layla is still in search of the Lost Stone bbut Aaron finds himself searching for something equally as valuable to him. Layla gives him the eggplant to watch over him. Remember, he still is not aware it talks.
It is many years, adventures and odd characters before they would be reunited, although with a tragedy for the eggplant. Fear not I would not give away the ending.
This is an epic comic-tragedy destined to become a classic.
I did recieve this book as part of this blog tour.
The review and opinions expressed are 100% my own.
When orphaned Aaron knocks on the castle door, then disappears, fortune smiles on Layla, drawing her away from the castle as the assasains strike. Layla weara a petrified eggplant on a chain around her neck. She is the only one who hears its sarcastic and opinionated comments.
Layla introduces Aaron to the magic of soap and the alphabet as she listens to his tails of cunning and survival. She considers keeping him around as an apprentice. Layla's stories educate Aaron and entertain the reader. Her tavel plans postponed for nearly a year.
I have to add, for any of you Big Bang tv fans, there is a note ain the book about a homunculis.
It is not quite Leonard's version.
With Layla away in London, then delayed far past her expected return, Aaron packs up the essentials and decides to go in search of her. This is where the wild adventures begin.
eventually a time arose where Layla and Aaron decide to go their separate ways, at least for a while. Layla is still in search of the Lost Stone bbut Aaron finds himself searching for something equally as valuable to him. Layla gives him the eggplant to watch over him. Remember, he still is not aware it talks.
It is many years, adventures and odd characters before they would be reunited, although with a tragedy for the eggplant. Fear not I would not give away the ending.
This is an epic comic-tragedy destined to become a classic.
I did recieve this book as part of this blog tour.
The review and opinions expressed are 100% my own.
September 6, 2015
It's a bit difficult to provide my thoughts on John Gillett's Orphans, Assassins and the Existential Eggplant because it is so unlike anything I've ever read before. It's a fantasy-based, parable-laden, ambitious piece of fiction that manages to cohesively spin a tale that comments on everything from the trials of tribulations of coming of age to the importance of female empowerment. Oh, and there's a talking eggplant who is like the Holden Cauffield of Grecian philosophy
The book has the trio of a witchy lady, an orphan teenager and aforementioned mini-eggplant who are looking for the Lost Stone of Eden. Upon this quest, they visit Europe and other exotic locales and meet some truly original characters, including a cruse made of rogue children. All along the way, the orphaned Aaron Sloopshire begins to question life through his transition from adolescence to adulthood, with no topic too taboo to mention.
Like I said earlier, it's hard to really review a book that is so pure in its intent. John Gillett's clear talent at chronicling a journey of three flawed characters (eggplant included) and their quest for finding sheer happiness is the overarching message here, and I'm all for it.
Like this review? Read more like it at www.readingotherpeople.com
The book has the trio of a witchy lady, an orphan teenager and aforementioned mini-eggplant who are looking for the Lost Stone of Eden. Upon this quest, they visit Europe and other exotic locales and meet some truly original characters, including a cruse made of rogue children. All along the way, the orphaned Aaron Sloopshire begins to question life through his transition from adolescence to adulthood, with no topic too taboo to mention.
Like I said earlier, it's hard to really review a book that is so pure in its intent. John Gillett's clear talent at chronicling a journey of three flawed characters (eggplant included) and their quest for finding sheer happiness is the overarching message here, and I'm all for it.
Like this review? Read more like it at www.readingotherpeople.com
February 21, 2017
Orphans, Assassins and Eggplant
Oh my . . . What a wonderful journey you have taken your readers on J.T. Gullet. The eggplant drew me into the storyline. When i read the synopses and cause my curiosity to flared into purchased your novel. I am not disappointed and went along for the ride into your world of storytelling. At times I did fine the journey long and winded. but the end results was a worthy read.
Oh my . . . What a wonderful journey you have taken your readers on J.T. Gullet. The eggplant drew me into the storyline. When i read the synopses and cause my curiosity to flared into purchased your novel. I am not disappointed and went along for the ride into your world of storytelling. At times I did fine the journey long and winded. but the end results was a worthy read.
August 20, 2017
Orphans, Assassins, and the Existential Eggplant
An excellent read. I enjoyed every page. I highly recommend it for readers from teenagers to grandfathers (which I am one.)
An excellent read. I enjoyed every page. I highly recommend it for readers from teenagers to grandfathers (which I am one.)
March 14, 2022
Pretty much what it says on the tin can. Yes, including the eggplant. Bizarre, silly and wildly entertaining, this weirdly delightful tale, set in the 13th century and across various countries on different continents, involves adventure, magic, quests, the Children's Crusade, the "original" assassins... and a sentient, talking eggplant, which really tells you all you need to know about how wonderfully, ridiculously out there the whole thing is.
January 23, 2022
Surprisingly good
I started the book with no expectation whatsoever due to its weird title. But soon found myself glued with it as there were new elements introduced into the story one after another.
Weird title but really good. Love the story especially the Eggplant.
I started the book with no expectation whatsoever due to its weird title. But soon found myself glued with it as there were new elements introduced into the story one after another.
Weird title but really good. Love the story especially the Eggplant.
September 25, 2015
I liked this book, but not as much as I had hoped. I liked the characters, but the plot was somewhat predictable and therefore was so-so, possibly because it felt a bit disjointed. It did have a feel about it that was similar to the writing in the 1001 nights while being a new story and that was good. I also like the alchemical angle which remained fairly practical rather than going into symbology as too many of those books do.
December 27, 2016
A very entertaining book fictionally chronicelling lives during times of the Crusades.
Normally I do not like reading books with elements of unreality being so prevalent. But this book was very enjoyable and well written. The many alchemical references really made the period believable. Character and plot development was done well. Throughout, the eggplant was amusing and entertaining. I recommend this book to lovers of historical fiction.
Normally I do not like reading books with elements of unreality being so prevalent. But this book was very enjoyable and well written. The many alchemical references really made the period believable. Character and plot development was done well. Throughout, the eggplant was amusing and entertaining. I recommend this book to lovers of historical fiction.
Displaying 1 - 17 of 17 reviews