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Dear Diary #6
Fighting Back
Following the death of her mother, Amber Makepeace moves in with her cousin, but when a local bully begins picking on her, she fights back. Original.
185 pages, Mass Market Paperback
First published August 1, 2000
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29 people want to read
About the author
Cheryl Lanham
8 books39 followersCheryl Lanham was born on 11 October 1948 in the Appalachian mountains of West Virginia, USA. Her family moved to Southern California in 1959 and she grew up in Pasadena. After graduating from California State University, she decided to work her way around the world and took off for England. She didn’t get much further because she met Richard James Arguile, the Englishman who became her husband, got married on May 1976, and had two children, Matthew and Amanda. While working in international shipping, she decided to pursue her dream and become a writer – which, of course, is the best job ever. She has written romance novels as Sarah Temple, and Young Adult novels as Cheryl Lanham. As Emily Brightwell, she is the author of the “Mrs. Jeffries” mysteries.
Cheryl Lanham Arguile returned to California, where she lives with her husband and a cranky old cat named Kiwi.
Cheryl Lanham Arguile returned to California, where she lives with her husband and a cranky old cat named Kiwi.
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Displaying 1 - 3 of 3 reviews
November 13, 2015
This book was so REAL.
This is really what school is like. I’m glad it had a semi-happy ending, though it’s still really disconcerting and sad that Amber had to go to her lawyer (which I didn’t even know about when I was young and getting bullied…still don’t, actually) to get a bully at her school to stop. The fact that none of her family, friends, or counselor seemed to give a damn really says it all: You can’t trust anyone in this world (although I like to think Chris meant it at the end when he said he would’ve done something to help her out. Still though, not everyone has a boyfriend like that). These people are really lucky that Amber is still so loving and caring and trusting towards them even after the whole ordeal. Actually, they’re lucky she wasn’t suicidal or unstable. I don’t consider all of this a flaw though, because unfortunately, it’s COMPLETELY realistic. I could relate so much to what was going on: Not only the specifics, such as having someone bully/harass/threaten/name-call/humiliate/trip you/fuck around with your property, but also the basic feeling a FEAR every time you’re forced to be around that person. And that’s one of the key things right there when it comes to bullying: FEAR. People don’t understand that it’s not simply a mere annoyance or inconvenience—when you’re truly bullied, you are AFRAID of being around the person. And it may not be physical harm you’re afraid of—you could be afraid of what they’re going to do next to humiliate you, intimidate you, verbally abuse you, make you feel like shit—There were SO many times when I was a kid that I was literally SCARED every morning when I woke up to go to school. I would fake sick as much as possible, just to stay away from people, because no matter how many times I tried to tell my teachers and counselors what was going on, they just would never do anything about it. They are there for their paychecks, and that’s it. This is why school is NOT a privilege, and not a safe place at all. Anyone who believes that myth is crazy.
Speaking of the devils (the counselors), that’s another thing this book got right. Contrary to popular belief, the majority of counselors are NOT these innocent, caring people who are there to help you. They are in fact, any random person who has a PhD in victim-blaming, who are there to make money off of other peoples’ suffering, and spend their days sitting in nice, quiet, comfy offices. Up until that damn kid comes in and god forbid, tries to get somebody to stop the person who is making their life a living hell. The counselor then goes, Oh shit, now I actually have WORK to do. *put on fake smile* And then, they go on about a bunch of bullshit, like how it’s not a big deal (notice how they’re basically telling you they know more about your own situation than you do, even though they weren’t there), how you should just “ignore” them (because THAT’S an option when you’re forced to be in the same vicinity as this person, and so easy for the person sitting behind the protective office walls to say), and that you’re just overreacting. They may not say it in those exact words, because they have to keep up the façade of “kind, caring, helpful counselor”, but like Amber, I was basically always treated like I was the problem, for wanting to be able to exist without being shit on all the time. People like Mr. Mullins need to be fired right away, and should never be allowed to work with kids ever again.
So I found this book scarily relatable. The only two reasons I gave it 4 stars instead of 5, is that A) Sometimes the writing would be a little too slow for me at times. It would just sort of have a lot of exposition on what she would do during the day, what she would wear, etc. which slowed the story down a little bit. And B) I was expecting a more climatic ending. In fact, I thought there might’ve been a twist where someone who seemed good at first (like Chris) would turn out bad, especially during the part where she was getting chased home but couldn’t really see the person. But the story turned out to be kind of predictable—aside from the lawyer part, I knew somehow she would win, but I would’ve liked for it to have been more eventful. In fact, I think it would’ve been sweet if she’d gotten revenge on him in a way that didn’t involve her lawyer—like, humiliating or intimidating him the same way that he’s done to countless others, and will continue to do. Because like she said, she really just sent him away to a different school where he will continue to do it to other kids. So in the grand scheme of things, the problem isn’t REALLY solved, it’s just solved for her. But I guess we can’t get everything.
Another great thing would’ve been if Mr. Mullins had gotten fired, along with Dragon lady. She was very realistic too, as I’ve had ageist idiot adults be rude to me too, for ENTIRELY no reason, when I walk into an office. When I haven’t even done anything. Just for existing, as though I don’t belong, when THEY’RE the ones at a fucking high school, so of course there are going to be teenagers around. Those adults need to stay home if they can’t handle it.
I am so glad though to read a book where, for once, it is not turned into some “let’s feel sorry for the bully instead of the victim” bullshit that I often see so much in both fiction AND in real life, disturbingly. Everybody acts like because a bully MIGHT have a sad backstory (which not every one of them does, some of them have perfect lives and are STILL just shitty people regardless, so wait before you make that assumption), that suddenly gives him/her an excuse to be a dipshit towards others. No it doesn’t. And it is a notion that is EXTREMELY harmful to the ACTUAL victims of their attacks. It’s just so sick and twisted, I was SO grateful to finally read a book where that was not the case. In fact, we really never get to know very much about Jack at all, which I am soooo fine with. Because all that really matters is that he is a bully, and that’s what bullies should be judged on.
This is really what school is like. I’m glad it had a semi-happy ending, though it’s still really disconcerting and sad that Amber had to go to her lawyer (which I didn’t even know about when I was young and getting bullied…still don’t, actually) to get a bully at her school to stop. The fact that none of her family, friends, or counselor seemed to give a damn really says it all: You can’t trust anyone in this world (although I like to think Chris meant it at the end when he said he would’ve done something to help her out. Still though, not everyone has a boyfriend like that). These people are really lucky that Amber is still so loving and caring and trusting towards them even after the whole ordeal. Actually, they’re lucky she wasn’t suicidal or unstable. I don’t consider all of this a flaw though, because unfortunately, it’s COMPLETELY realistic. I could relate so much to what was going on: Not only the specifics, such as having someone bully/harass/threaten/name-call/humiliate/trip you/fuck around with your property, but also the basic feeling a FEAR every time you’re forced to be around that person. And that’s one of the key things right there when it comes to bullying: FEAR. People don’t understand that it’s not simply a mere annoyance or inconvenience—when you’re truly bullied, you are AFRAID of being around the person. And it may not be physical harm you’re afraid of—you could be afraid of what they’re going to do next to humiliate you, intimidate you, verbally abuse you, make you feel like shit—There were SO many times when I was a kid that I was literally SCARED every morning when I woke up to go to school. I would fake sick as much as possible, just to stay away from people, because no matter how many times I tried to tell my teachers and counselors what was going on, they just would never do anything about it. They are there for their paychecks, and that’s it. This is why school is NOT a privilege, and not a safe place at all. Anyone who believes that myth is crazy.
Speaking of the devils (the counselors), that’s another thing this book got right. Contrary to popular belief, the majority of counselors are NOT these innocent, caring people who are there to help you. They are in fact, any random person who has a PhD in victim-blaming, who are there to make money off of other peoples’ suffering, and spend their days sitting in nice, quiet, comfy offices. Up until that damn kid comes in and god forbid, tries to get somebody to stop the person who is making their life a living hell. The counselor then goes, Oh shit, now I actually have WORK to do. *put on fake smile* And then, they go on about a bunch of bullshit, like how it’s not a big deal (notice how they’re basically telling you they know more about your own situation than you do, even though they weren’t there), how you should just “ignore” them (because THAT’S an option when you’re forced to be in the same vicinity as this person, and so easy for the person sitting behind the protective office walls to say), and that you’re just overreacting. They may not say it in those exact words, because they have to keep up the façade of “kind, caring, helpful counselor”, but like Amber, I was basically always treated like I was the problem, for wanting to be able to exist without being shit on all the time. People like Mr. Mullins need to be fired right away, and should never be allowed to work with kids ever again.
So I found this book scarily relatable. The only two reasons I gave it 4 stars instead of 5, is that A) Sometimes the writing would be a little too slow for me at times. It would just sort of have a lot of exposition on what she would do during the day, what she would wear, etc. which slowed the story down a little bit. And B) I was expecting a more climatic ending. In fact, I thought there might’ve been a twist where someone who seemed good at first (like Chris) would turn out bad, especially during the part where she was getting chased home but couldn’t really see the person. But the story turned out to be kind of predictable—aside from the lawyer part, I knew somehow she would win, but I would’ve liked for it to have been more eventful. In fact, I think it would’ve been sweet if she’d gotten revenge on him in a way that didn’t involve her lawyer—like, humiliating or intimidating him the same way that he’s done to countless others, and will continue to do. Because like she said, she really just sent him away to a different school where he will continue to do it to other kids. So in the grand scheme of things, the problem isn’t REALLY solved, it’s just solved for her. But I guess we can’t get everything.
Another great thing would’ve been if Mr. Mullins had gotten fired, along with Dragon lady. She was very realistic too, as I’ve had ageist idiot adults be rude to me too, for ENTIRELY no reason, when I walk into an office. When I haven’t even done anything. Just for existing, as though I don’t belong, when THEY’RE the ones at a fucking high school, so of course there are going to be teenagers around. Those adults need to stay home if they can’t handle it.
I am so glad though to read a book where, for once, it is not turned into some “let’s feel sorry for the bully instead of the victim” bullshit that I often see so much in both fiction AND in real life, disturbingly. Everybody acts like because a bully MIGHT have a sad backstory (which not every one of them does, some of them have perfect lives and are STILL just shitty people regardless, so wait before you make that assumption), that suddenly gives him/her an excuse to be a dipshit towards others. No it doesn’t. And it is a notion that is EXTREMELY harmful to the ACTUAL victims of their attacks. It’s just so sick and twisted, I was SO grateful to finally read a book where that was not the case. In fact, we really never get to know very much about Jack at all, which I am soooo fine with. Because all that really matters is that he is a bully, and that’s what bullies should be judged on.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
May 17, 2022
I read this book in high school and really liked it. Read it again to take me back - ha ha. Probably a 3/5 stars now, but rounded it up because it kept my attention. Shines a light on how serious bulling can be. Definitely a dated book (mentioned pay phones ha) but still relatable.
September 23, 2020
A very realistic view on how detrimental and even dangerous bullying can get. As well as how little teachers and authority figures take it seriously.
Displaying 1 - 3 of 3 reviews