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13 days and 02:03:29
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Bitches, I’ve Arrived: The Ultimate Baby Guide
Not yet published
Expected 18 Aug 26Win a free kindle copy of this book!
13 days and 02:03:29
100 copies available
U.S. only
This isn’t about what’s easiest for you. It’s about what’s best for your baby.
Let’s get something Adriana Bachmann, the “Baby Whisperer,” is not here to please anyone. She’s here to help your babies. That’s the whole point of Bitches, I’ve The Ultimate Baby Guide.
Find out how to help your baby sleep well without either of you enduring the stresses of sleep deprivation. Say goodbye to popular but harmful practices, parenting gimmicks, and sales-focused influences. Learn to recognize warning signs that something is wrong. Discover common-sense traditional methods that lead to your baby’s long-term well-being.
Bitches, I’ve Arrived is full of knowledge that helps babies from newborn to six months develop in a healthy and sustainable way. In clear, no-holds-barred language, Bachmann obliterates popular myths about raising a healthy baby and replaces them with a proven, holistic approach.
Let’s get something Adriana Bachmann, the “Baby Whisperer,” is not here to please anyone. She’s here to help your babies. That’s the whole point of Bitches, I’ve The Ultimate Baby Guide.
Find out how to help your baby sleep well without either of you enduring the stresses of sleep deprivation. Say goodbye to popular but harmful practices, parenting gimmicks, and sales-focused influences. Learn to recognize warning signs that something is wrong. Discover common-sense traditional methods that lead to your baby’s long-term well-being.
Bitches, I’ve Arrived is full of knowledge that helps babies from newborn to six months develop in a healthy and sustainable way. In clear, no-holds-barred language, Bachmann obliterates popular myths about raising a healthy baby and replaces them with a proven, holistic approach.
282 pages, Kindle Edition
Expected publication August 18, 2026
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Displaying 1 - 2 of 2 reviews
July 31, 2026
Adriana promises that her Jaja Method will "teach you how to confidently read your baby."
Jaja is about two things:
1) Ensuring your baby eats enough.
2) Training your baby to sleep through the night.
Adriana readily admits that she lacks a formal education relating to babies.
She asserts that she makes up for that deficiency with significant experience.
That's a plausible claim if she stayed in her lane, but she sometimes strays.
For example, after spending a page telling you that she respects pediatricians and is not one, she writes, "I'm not saying vitamin K and erythromycin cause [my third child's] astigmatism, but in my experience, many families choose to question routine interventions like vitamin K."
I'm also not a doctor, and I know that not all countries give a shot of vitamin K to newborns.
So I asked a couple of AIs if vitamin K is tied in any way to vision problems later in life, as Adriana implies.
Answer: hell, no.
She also writes, "I recommend waiting 5-10 minutes to sever the umbilical cord."
She provides scant evidence for doing this.
Experts say 1-3 minutes is enough (cutting after a few seconds is too quick).
Anticipating people like me, she questions the traditional evidence and the studies.
But if you do that, you can throw out anything.
Another thing that annoyed me was that every chapter ends with a testimonial.
I understand Adriana wants to drum up new clients with this book, but it speaks about her methodology: anecdotes trump statistics.
Ultimately, a testimonial isn't convincing.
If she had hundreds of clients, I'm sure some will love her.
How many felt her services were a waste of money?
We'll never know.
There's plenty of sound, practical advice in this book, based on her extensive experience.
However, it's best to retain a skeptical eye when reading this book.
I'm no baby expert, but if there's one thing I've heard many parents say, "Every baby is different."
As a result, it's tough to generalize.
Sometimes your baby turns out well DESPITE what you do, not BECAUSE of it.
In general, I'd trust Mayo Clinic's generalizations over Adriana's advice.
But there are certainly some wise nuggets in this book.
Jaja is about two things:
1) Ensuring your baby eats enough.
2) Training your baby to sleep through the night.
Adriana readily admits that she lacks a formal education relating to babies.
She asserts that she makes up for that deficiency with significant experience.
That's a plausible claim if she stayed in her lane, but she sometimes strays.
For example, after spending a page telling you that she respects pediatricians and is not one, she writes, "I'm not saying vitamin K and erythromycin cause [my third child's] astigmatism, but in my experience, many families choose to question routine interventions like vitamin K."
I'm also not a doctor, and I know that not all countries give a shot of vitamin K to newborns.
So I asked a couple of AIs if vitamin K is tied in any way to vision problems later in life, as Adriana implies.
Answer: hell, no.
She also writes, "I recommend waiting 5-10 minutes to sever the umbilical cord."
She provides scant evidence for doing this.
Experts say 1-3 minutes is enough (cutting after a few seconds is too quick).
Anticipating people like me, she questions the traditional evidence and the studies.
But if you do that, you can throw out anything.
Another thing that annoyed me was that every chapter ends with a testimonial.
I understand Adriana wants to drum up new clients with this book, but it speaks about her methodology: anecdotes trump statistics.
Ultimately, a testimonial isn't convincing.
If she had hundreds of clients, I'm sure some will love her.
How many felt her services were a waste of money?
We'll never know.
There's plenty of sound, practical advice in this book, based on her extensive experience.
However, it's best to retain a skeptical eye when reading this book.
I'm no baby expert, but if there's one thing I've heard many parents say, "Every baby is different."
As a result, it's tough to generalize.
Sometimes your baby turns out well DESPITE what you do, not BECAUSE of it.
In general, I'd trust Mayo Clinic's generalizations over Adriana's advice.
But there are certainly some wise nuggets in this book.
Review of advance copy received from NetGalley
I haven't had a newborn in a long time, but I'm currently babysitting a babe who struggles a lot with reflux/gas/contact napping, and I really enjoyed the straightforward information. Suggestions can helpful, but the way Adriana approaches the topic leans more towards being given orders, which was life saving when I was in the early days of new motherhood.
The best and most helpful advice I got when my son was struggling to gain weight was from the nutritionist at the health department. She said "this is how much you have to feed this baby in a day. I don't care what you feed him: breast, dairy, soy. I don't care how much he eats at one feeding. I don't even care if he takes the full allotment in one sitting. Feed him this much in a 24 hour period." And just the relief of being told exactly what to do, without the moral superiority of the breast-is-best side of the aisle...it was such a burden lifted. This book is like that. Between the no nonsense directives and the multiple reassurance that being uncomfortable is not going to break your child, I wish I had read this 13 years ago.
That being said, there is a fair amount of encouragement to question medical providers, and I'm iffy on that part. On the one hand, I work in pharmacy and good lord some of the ways doctors have tried to unintentionally end their patients is terrifying. On the other, I've met the general public, and I don't like the idea of them making decisions based on information from viral Facebook posts. Which is exactly what a large portion of people do well enough already without the encouragement and validation of an otherwise lovely baby book.
Thank you for the opportunity to read an early copy through Netgalley.
The best and most helpful advice I got when my son was struggling to gain weight was from the nutritionist at the health department. She said "this is how much you have to feed this baby in a day. I don't care what you feed him: breast, dairy, soy. I don't care how much he eats at one feeding. I don't even care if he takes the full allotment in one sitting. Feed him this much in a 24 hour period." And just the relief of being told exactly what to do, without the moral superiority of the breast-is-best side of the aisle...it was such a burden lifted. This book is like that. Between the no nonsense directives and the multiple reassurance that being uncomfortable is not going to break your child, I wish I had read this 13 years ago.
That being said, there is a fair amount of encouragement to question medical providers, and I'm iffy on that part. On the one hand, I work in pharmacy and good lord some of the ways doctors have tried to unintentionally end their patients is terrifying. On the other, I've met the general public, and I don't like the idea of them making decisions based on information from viral Facebook posts. Which is exactly what a large portion of people do well enough already without the encouragement and validation of an otherwise lovely baby book.
Thank you for the opportunity to read an early copy through Netgalley.
Displaying 1 - 2 of 2 reviews