These Secret Years

by August Jones

Genres: M M Romance, Sports, Friends To Lovers

482 pages, Kindle Edition

Published August 28, 2026

About the author

August Jones (She/They) is an author of queer romance and a voracious reader of smut. She resides in Texas with her family, pets, and books. However, she reads mostly on her phone because she’s cheap, it has a built in backlight, and it’s almost always in her hand.

If you ever discover her real name, don’t tell her, just read the books she’s published (you’ll like them) and thank her later with a rating or review. Mwah!

Books: KU, Paperback, & Audio
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Reviews

[Sim-fully Ever After · Rating 5 out of 5]

5🌟 | 3🌶️

This book completely blindsided me with how deeply I ended up feeling everything.

Knight and Sullivan completely pulled me in, and I loved how their relationship grew from something secret and complicated into something neither could walk away from. Knight’s patience, protectiveness, and devotion to Sullivan absolutely got me.

This book put me through every possible emotion. Sullivan’s journey broke my heart, while the softer moments between them, especially Knight supporting his music, gave me so many reasons to smile. I also adored the found family and how much these characters changed over the years.

This was so much more than the fluffy college romance I expected, and I honestly wouldn’t change that. I cried, got angry, swooned, and desperately needed that HEA after everything these two went through.

If you like your romances emotional, character-driven, and a little devastating, this one is worth picking up.

~~~~

A huge thank you to August Jones and The Author Agency for the ARC! 😍 All my bookish thoughts are completely my own. ✨

[Mikaela (risqué.romance) · Rating 5 out of 5]

✨May contain spoilers✨

I don’t think I’ve ever loved any of August’s books the way I absolutely fell in love with this one. It was so beautiful from how the emotions are splayed right open and I was here for how it made me feel.

Knight and Sullivan are so perfect for one another. I truly fell in love with how Knight was with Sullivan. When he finds out what Sullivan had been going through, I felt for Knight. I wanted to protect Sullivan no matter the cost just exactly like Knight did.

And ugh, I love how Knight helps Sullivan when he becomes his tutor. My favorite part was when Knight got Sullivan a freaking violin. Perfect guy right there. I’m such a fan of when a character gives gifts and this hit the spot so perfectly.

This book hit all the emotions, especially when a certain situation happens towards the end of the book. And that’s when one of the MC’s goes through a tough time.

So much in this book I wanted to hurt Quinn and Adrian. My heart broke when Sullivan tried to leave and god 🥺

I really loved Sullivan and everything about him. His girlfriend, Chelsea, I couldn’t even find it to hate her because she had been through some stuff. I also loved the conversation that Chelsea and Sullivan had about being queer. I was in it for that conversation.

If you’re not expecting to go through your emotions and have your heart break multiple times; you’re out of your mind. I just love seeing the transition of these amazing characters. The found family in this book has to be one of my favorite to say the least.

I hope we get to see some of these characters in the meant future.

If you’re looking for a book that makes you cry and feel so many emotions, makes you wanting to throw your kindle across the room, a protective mc, this book is for you. If you have certain triggers, I would recommend not going into this book blind but this book is sooooo amazing!

I received a copy of this book and this is my honest review.

[Emily · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was my very first ARC read and one I was very excited to read. If you’re looking for a fluffy MM college romance this is not the book for you. However if you’re looking to have your heart repeatedly stomped on then put back together, this is the book for you. I’m a reader who will happily let an author destroy me for 500 pages if I know I get my happy ending.
I thought the story taking place over the course of 4 years might end up dragging but it really didn’t. Most of Knight and Sullivan’s time apart happened off page. Sullivan is a profoundly broken human when we met him and, frankly, is still pretty fucked up at the end. Knight seems to (mostly) have his shit together, but things are not always as they seem.
There was surprisingly little of actual football in the story so if actual sports in your sports books aren’t your thing, this is a good choice. 4 stars instead of 5 for the third act breakup and subsequent rushed ending. Overall I really enjoyed this book and will definitely purchase it.

[Jay T · Rating 5 out of 5]

Well, I've cried my eyes out because this book took me through SO many emotions 😭 Knight and Sullivan's story was messy, emotional, bittersweet and beautiful.

I loved their first interactions because the banter and chemistry were already giving. Sullivan is such a sweetheart, and my heart genuinely hurt for everything he had to carry.

Knight was also such a soft boy underneath that big football-player exterior and I loved watching him grow.

The coming-of-age aspect was beautifully written because we actually get to see them change over the years. The angst was really ANGSTING and these two had me going through it with all the separation, fear and misunderstandings. 😭

I loved the family dynamics, the music and football aspects and how their individual struggles shaped their relationship.

This book made me cry, frustrated me, warmed my heart and still had me rooting for these two.

A beautiful, emotional journey with a hard-earned happy ending, I loved every bit of it 💗

[Nicole · Rating 4 out of 5]

I went into this book blind and am so glad I did because it allowed me to just enjoy it and not have any preconceived notions about it. I was very invested in Sullivan and Knight's relationship from day one. Knight is just an absolute sweet heart! His part of the story really makes you wonder if there are other professional athletes out there struggling the same way he did, which if they are...really breaks my heart. Everyone should have the ability to love who ever they want to love. When it came to Sullivan's story...wow! What a freaking tear jerker. I know why he did what he did but in the end I'm not sure he would have done it the same way if he had a do over. It goes without saying I hated Adrian and Quinn with every bone in my body. As the book got close to the end I was seriously doubting I would get my much sought after HEA. Both Sullivan and Knight seemed to be at a cross road and neither was willing to bend. I hope we get books about the supporting characters. I absolutely loved the twins and D. They were a great addition to the story. I feel like there is more to them that needs to be told. Overall it was a great book and am so glad I got the chance to read it.

[Brittany Crabtree · Rating 4 out of 5]

I received this book as an ARC but these are my honest thoughts and opinions. Let me start by saying please please read the trigger warnings. This book was absolutely beautifully written. Unfortunately, this one just wasn’t for me. I usually enjoy a high angst book but this one was a little overwhelming. I was stressed the entire time. I felt like i couldn’t really enjoy the story itself because I was waiting for the eventual sexual assault that was going to happen at every break from school. That was probably a completely me thing so i still gave this book 4/5 stars because the story and writing style was genuinely beautiful.

[Alia · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was fantastic. August did it again. Knight was such a wonderful person. We know he has his reasons for taking his time but once he was in he was all in. Sullivan - oh Sullivan. He was so hurt and Knight came in and wanted to help and protect him. I love it when one or both characters have to take the time to work on themselves before they can be with their person and this was executed perfectly and so realistically. I cannot wait to see what’s next from August jones!

[Jine · Rating 5 out of 5]

You ever read a book that’s really good 5 stars but it absolutely breaks your heart?! Yeah this is it! I didn’t know
Much going in but Jesus it was a rough one!
So we have knight and Sullivan
Knight is a football prodigy and Sullivan is a music prodigy
Knight is gay but very much in the closet because of football and Sullivan is figuring out who he is!
Their first encounter at uno and then the front was spicy! They connected through sex a lot of the times more than their words
My heart absolutely was destroyed by Sullivans story! He’s been groomed since he was 16 by a rich benefactor basically Adrian who’s helped him with school and a car and his moms home but it’s gotten out of hand especially with Adrian’s husband Quinn what he did to Sullivan before he got out was absolutely brutal!
They had to fight so hard to be together to have the stolen moments and for each other to trust
Knights life has been difficult too he’s so far in the closet and it seems like his dad wants him to choose something other than football and we truly don’t see the reason why until
His dad suddenly passes away and it’s because they knew he was gay and didn’t want him to go through the scrutiny!
But what got me the most was after sullivans assault they couldn’t get back to them he was so traumatized but knight was also terrified of hurting him in the process!
So so many tears my chest physically hurt after reading but I need more of their story! I need to see them in their happy atmosphere choosing each other!!
Fav quotes

Deandre passes a bottle of Jim Beam to me. I take a long drink of it, and Knight watches me do it. I take a long drink of it, and Knight watches me do it. I realize I’m staring back at him as his gaze drops from my eyes to my mouth to my throat as I swallow. He’s been flirting with me.

“Are you straight?” he comes out and asks. “I don’t know,” I tell him. My answer makes him blink several times in quick succession. “Oh.” “Was that what you wanted to know?” “Yeah, I guess so.” “I wish I could give you a better answer,” I say. “I’m still figuring things out.” “Yeah, all right.” “Is there like…something about me that made you think⁠—” “No.” He shakes his head firmly. “No, nothing like that. I just…you’re gorgeous.” He takes a long shaky breath. “I just said that.” Despite the chill, I’m suddenly, very, very warm. “You think?” “I don’t know how anyone wouldn’t. You’re like—extremely good looking. I can’t be the first person to ever point it out.”

“Can I kiss you?”“Yes,” I whisper. “But only if you want to.”“I do,” he says. “I like you, Knight.” “Thanks.” “You seem kind. Are you?” “I think so. I like to think so.”“Jesus, is that your heart?” “Yeah.”“You okay?” “I don’t know.” “Is there anything else you want to tell me?” “I’ve never done this before,” I blurt. “What? Been kissed?” “Not by a guy.” “Oh. Well, I don’t have all that much experience either, if that helps.”

“What do you think about someone who takes advantage of another person for their own gain?” Or pleasure.

“I am but a possibility. And that’s one of them. But I’m not only talking about myself.” I’m thinking of Adrian and what he’s done to me. How twisted up and confused he’s made me about myself. About my body and my self-worth. About losing control of myself and trying to scrape it back by any means necessary.

when Sullivan is kissing me, it feels somehow more important than football, all the good I can do with all the NFL money, or the legacy I feel meant to carry on. Maybe that’s an exaggeration, but it seems equally important for sure.

“You’re attracted to me?” His head pops up in surprise. “Of course I am.”

“Maybe.” “Yeah, I’ll miss you, too. If it makes you feel any better.” It does, but I definitely don’t want him to elaborate on that. “We should hook up in the fall,” he adds out of nowhere. “Really? Like—hook up?” He shrugs a shoulder. “If you want.” “But you just made it sound like you’d want to. I was clarifying what you meant by it.”

“I need, this. You know? You get it?” “Of course I don’t get it. But I’ve got you,” he says. “Yeah?” I kiss him hard again before he can answer.

I feel everything. Claimed. Exactly the way I wanted to be,

“You look different, but I still think you’re beautiful. I really do hope you’re okay.”

I hope Knight is loved the way he deserves to be loved. The way he’s used to being loved. I hope the sad boy finally finds a way to be happy.

“Then I’m gonna ask again. How do you want me?” A silent sob shakes my chest. “I want you to fuck me like you love me.”

“Do you miss me?” I ask, my voice unable to hide the fact that I’m crying. “Yeah. I do. Do you miss me?” “Yeah.” “Okay. Are you all right?” he asks again. “Do you ever think you were a mistake?” He’s silent. Not even a breath comes through. I check the phone to make sure the call is still connected. Then he says, “Sometimes.” “Cause life would go on, right?” “It’d be a hell of a lot less beautiful.” “Without you?” I laugh shortly. “Maybe.” “Without you,” he says. “Without your face. Without your music.”

“You should call me again tomorrow,” he says. I nod to myself. “Yeah. Okay.” “And listen to the song, all right?” “Right. I thought you forgot.” “No way. I’m gonna listen to it, too. You can tell me how stupid I am when we talk tomorrow, okay?” I smile. “Okay.” “Promise?” “I promise.” The song, when it comes through via a text, is “Titanium.”

It’s not until morning that I realize what he did by sending me that song and making me promise to call him back. He kept me alive another day.

Knight presses a kiss against the side of my head. He says, “I need you to do something for me.” I nod, waiting for it. “I need you to ask him how he’d like to wrap this arrangement up. At least then you’ll know his end game.”“You don’t think I spent this whole semester training you to be strong and fit just to let you go get yourself hurt again, do you? I need you to look in the mirror, Sullivan. I need you to see what I see. And then go there and be the man they thought they could keep down.” I clutch at his shirt. “Don’t let go,” I whisper. “I won’t if you won’t.” “I won’t,” I say. Not ever. I’ll love him forever.

My dad’s always talking about how smart I am, so what the hell good is that if I can’t put together a plan to make the guy I love happy and keep him safe.

The bruise on his forehead, the cut on his lower lip, the blackened cheekbone. Worse, the cast around his lower right arm, covering most of his hand.

“Who the fuck did that to you?” He keeps shaking his head. As deliberately as I can, I step inside, shut the door, and keep my distance. “Sullivan?” “It’s over,” he whispers. “What do you mean it’s over?” “I mean, I just…I don’t have to go back. It’s over. I’m fine. It’s done.”

“Do you ever want…more?” He and I look at each other for a long time before he says exactly what I knew he’d say. “Do you?” “I always did,” I say in barely more than a whisper. His nod is subtle, but his hand squeezes mine. “We can’t have that though, right?” “Can’t we?”

“Was that Knight Winters?” “Yeah.” “Cute,” she says. “He’s too young for you,” I say without turning around. And too gay. And he’s mine.

“Merry Christmas,” Knight says. “Merry Christmas.” With that, he opens the door wider, and I see what he’s done here. The tree, the lights, the decorations, and I hear the music. Tchaikovsky. The Nutcracker. The shape of dreams come true. Iwasn’t expecting Sullivan to react so strongly to what I did with the lake house. I guess I figured—it’s Christmas. Seems obvious I would have put a tree up, right? Like who wouldn’t do that?

“Why would you do this for me?” “I did it for us,” I tell him. “Why?” “Because I thought we’d like it. Maybe because we need it.” His eyes close, and he drops his chin nearly to his chest. “I want you so much,” he whispers. “How?” he asks, looking back up at the tree. “How do we do it?” “I mean…are you okay keeping a secret?” Finally, he looks at me, and with a level of sincerity that seems wrenched from the deepest part of him he says, “Yes.”

“Okay, good,” I say. “You’re mine, then. It’s official.” He laughs, a soft, genuine laugh. “No. You’re mine.”

“Hey, honey. So glad you could come all this way. I’m making your favorite for dinner.”

“I think I’m just gonna say it.” My heart thumps a thousand times in a second. “Okay.” “I love you.” “I love you, too.” “Okay, good. So that’s done.” I cup his face and give him another long, closed-mouth kiss. “By the end of the week, maybe we’ll be engaged.” The hand on my waist squeezes. “I’d say yes if you asked.” Settling my head on his bicep, I say, “Then let’s just pretend I did.” “You okay if I touch your cheek?” I nod, my gaze never leaving his.

“Well, without getting all emotional about it, in my head, I was like—if I have this memory—of you and me—then whatever happened when I went to Detroit, I could just block out. Or like—pretend. I could say to myself, I’m not theirs. I’m Knight’s.”

“Did it work?” “It did that time. I made it through the summer.” “We talked all during that summer,” I remind him. “I remember that, too. And yeah, I also remember there were some dark spots.” “I thought you were gonna…” I can’t say it. Don’t want those words in the universe. “I know. But you were always there. And It’s probably a lot to put on someone to say hey—you saved my life—but, well…I can’t argue otherwise either.”

“I love you so fucking much,” he whispers. “I love you, too.” All he has to do is say the word, and I’ll change my entire life for him. It’s not even a question anymore. When I’m with him, he is the only place on earth I know I belong, and I’d give up anything to stay here.

“Sullivan,” I begin, but he cuts me off fiercely. “I can’t do this.” “I know. That’s why we need to take it slow.” “Slow? It’s been nearly a year. This is glacial. It’s bullshit. I can’t do it anymore.”“What I’m telling you is that I don’t think this isn’t going to work. I don’t think I’m what you need anymore, and I don’t think you can be who I need either.” His words don’t quite register. “This isn’t going to work,” I repeat slowly. “This, meaning us?” He sighs. “Yeah.”

“To start with, I love you⁠—” “Whatever,” he bites out. “Not whatever. Would you rather be with someone who didn’t? Who doesn’t know you or any of your triggers? You want to just take your chances, and maybe it’s okay, or maybe you get re-traumatized, and then what?” “I told you once that I needed your help moving past something. I wanted you to help me play the violin again⁠—” “That was all wrong.” “For you. It was all wrong for you, but it was what I needed.” “And look at you now—playing violin again just fine without recreating some disgusting pervert putting his hands all over you where they never belonged.”

“This doesn’t have to come between us,” I tell him. “It’s already between us.” I swallow hard. He’s right about that, too. He steps forward again, this time wedging himself between my partly spread thighs. In a softer voice, he says, “I want you to take me back.” I put my hands on his hips and make sure he can feel them, asserting them there like if I hold him to the earth, he can find his center again. “You know what would be cool?” “What?” “If you wanted to re-create something good. Something between us. The truck, maybe.” “I’m not asking for a re-enactment. I’m asking for some force applied only when necessary.” “You’re right,” I tell him. “I don’t think I can do that.” “What are you saying then? We’re over?”

“It means you’re gonna get drafted in April, and you’ll wind up where? Florida?” “California,” I say because San Francisco is way more likely to trade up to get me. Their team is a disaster, under new ownership and, according to my agent, I’m the exact kind of player they need to build a team around. If I’m lucky, Deandre will wind up there, too. “Well, I’m staying here,” he says. “I’ve decided to go to grad school.” This is news, and it’s a blow, too. “When were you planning to tell me that?” “I’m telling you now,” he says almost coldly. “So either way it doesn’t work.”

“I think we need a break,” he says softly. “These years—I think we were exactly what each other needed. I can’t imagine them without you. You made it bearable.” Oh fuck, this is really happening. He’s got a speech and everything. I swallow hard and try to keep my face stoic. “But?” “But…we were always different. Now we might as well be from different planets. I think our lives—the time we’ve spent in this place—decided to push us apart instead of closer together.” “I don’t see it that way…” “No?” “No.”

“Did any of this mean anything to you?” he asks. “I told you it did,” I say. “Other than ‘making life bearable’,” he says with air quotes. “I love you,” I tell him, adding some firmness to the words. “As a friend, or…” “As everything.” “But when I mentioned having a future, what? Did you just tune that part out?” “No. But I never really thought it was possible.” “Even when I was willing to come out?” “Yeah, even then.” “But when we were here over the summer—when you drove all the way up to be with me and stay with my family—could you at least see it then?” “Maybe? But I also kind of saw you quitting football at that point. I didn’t know what you were gonna do. And then you just came back stronger.” He tilts his head slightly to regard me. “You’re stronger, too, you know?” “In some places.”

“But you think you’ll be better off if you just get rid of me.”
“Tell me how you think we can still be in each other’s lives when we’re thousands of miles apart? How does it work?” “I’m not even gonna get into that if you’re just gonna shit all over it and tell me it can’t work. You’re acting like you’re trying to teach yourself how to hate me.” “Or maybe I’m just scared.” “Is that it?”

“You and I have been through so much,” he says with meaning. “It really sucks that you don’t even want to try. It makes me feel like—like I was never anything to you.” My posture wilts. “I don’t know how you can say that.” “I don’t know how you can walk away.” “I don’t want to.” That comes out loud, and he flinches. “Then what the fuck?” he cries. “If it’s not about me, and it’s not about keeping the secret, do you just want to be single again that badly?”

“I don’t want someone else.” That’s like the one thing I’ve realized over the last week. I can be okay if it’s just me and the music, but the idea of someone other than Knight by my side? Unthinkable. “Are you sure?” “Yes,” I exhale harshly. “Then let it be me.” God—he’s so…so…him. He knows all my weak spots, can see the space opening up, and he’s gonna drive his play right through it. “Why would you want it to be me?” I argue. “I might be stronger, but what if that’s only because I’ve had you propping me up? And you’re as scared of me as I am of not being enough for you.”

“I’ve only ever been scared of one thing—and that’s losing you. You’re more than enough for me. You’re fucking plenty. You’re everything if I’m being totally honest. And if I get scared of hurting you and losing you, then you wanna know what would really suck? If you broke up with me for it.”

“I handled that badly.” “Yeah—you fuckin’ did. And you’re not doing much better right now, either. Say what you want, Sullivan. Say what you really, really want. If there weren’t anything stopping you—if you were actually free—what would you want?” The truth bursts loose. “I’d want you and me. I’d want us to outlast everything. I’d want us to have the best secret love story in the history of love stories, but⁠—” “No. Shut up. No buts. That’s it. If that’s what you want, then that’s what we do. We commit, right fucking now to making this work no matter what. If I’m for you and you’re for me, then we take that ball and run it all the way into the end zone. It’s not like we’ve got no one to help us. It’s not like football is a year-round game. And it’s also not like I don’t love you more every goddamn day.”

“I’ll do anything to keep you forever,” I tell him.

“Just say okay and you love me.” “Tip of the iceberg,” he murmurs before pressing a soft kiss to my nose. “Fuck you for making me want to know more about icebergs right now.” I feel his smile when he presses his mouth to mine again. “Here’s what you need to know. They are vast, and most of the important things about them all lie beneath the surface.” “Is loving you enough?” I ask. “Loving each other is a start.” “Just the tip?” “There’s the prodigy. Yeah. It’s just the tip.” “In terms of the rest, I’m yours,” I promise him. “Whatever that means, and whatever it takes.” His kiss is deep and long, and I’m so happy that it happened here. In a ruin that only love and time can heal. The shape of our love is infinity.

Knight, the young redshirt freshman I met across a shitty card table. Knight the shy, repressed boy in the woods. Knight, the hometown hero’s son. Knight, the Saginaw High School prom king. Knight, the guy who held me crying in a dark tunnel. Knight, the man who wouldn’t let me go no matter how hard I pushed him away. Knight, the survivor who’s teaching me every day how to survive. Knight, my first love. My everything. The shape of infinity. The shape of stars. The shape of secrets and freedom. The shape of a sound so haunting and beautiful, I’ll forever follow where it leads.

[Nancy Bennett · Rating 4 out of 5]

ARC REVIEW
THESE SECRET YEARS di August Jones

Recensione: These Secret years è un romanzo autoconclusivo di August Jones. La storia è ambientata al college e descrive ben 4 anni. I protagonisti sono Knight, giocatore di football americano e Sullivan, musicista prodigio. I due si conosceranno nel primo weekend del primo anno di college durante un torneo di Uno. I due da subito proveranno attrazione l’uno per l’altro e cominceranno questa storia tira e molla che durerà anni. I due provengono dalla stessa cittadina e infatti i due si incontreranno spesso a casa. Knight è da subito attratto e molto preso da Sullivan, ma volendosi concentrare solo sulla sua carriera di giocatore professionista, gli chiede di tenere la relazione segreta. Anche Sullivan ha molti segreti e questo li porterà ad avere una relazione fatta di alti e bassi. Sullivan è il primo per Knight e ammetto che verso i primi capitoli ho tifato molto per la loro relazione… ma poi… Non lo so… Questo romanzo mi ha fatto arrabbiare.
Ma prima partiamo dalle cose belle di questo libro: la scrittura di August Jones è meravigliosa, ti fa entrare dentro il libro e ti dimentichi anche di dove ti trovi. Ammetto che ero molto spaventata per il numero di pagine (490) e temevo di metterci una vita a leggerlo invece me lo sono divorata! Ho adorato Knight, è il mio preferito in questa storia e anche i gemelli e Deandre li ho adorati. Una delle mie scene preferite del libro è stata quando Sullivan entra in una casa abbandonata e che è una di quelle che la madre di Knight sta cercando di vendere. Sullivan la ama perché gli piace il suono che producono i suoi strumenti musicali nella camera da letto. Sentendo la musica, Knight andrà a controllare e troverà Sullivan.
I due all’inizio mi piacevano e volevo vedere come procedeva la storia. Io adoro le storie ambientate al college e si, sapevo che ci stava angst ma pensavo fosse dovuto o al padre di Knight, ex giocatore professionista o da parte del padre di Sullivan.. Invece l’angst lo crea Sullivan: sin da quando aveva 16 anni un uomo più grande di nome Adrian lo ha preso sotto la sua ala e con la scusa di insegnargli a suonare, ha abusato sessualmente, insieme al marito, di lui. L’uomo gli paga il college ma ad ogni break lo rivuole a casa sua a Detroit per fargli quello che vuole. Dire che ho provato schifo e disgusto per lui e il marito è poco.
Ma questo trauma non permette a Sullivan di maltrattare Knight. Perché io non li ho mai visti davvero presi, anzi, non ho mai visto Sullivan preso da Knight. Knight si è innamorato quasi subito di lui e purtroppo da poco prima di metà libro mi sono chiesta perché Knight si fosse fissato con uno come Sullivan che a parole diceva di tenerci ma a fatti… beh a fatti era meglio se entrambi restavano da soli! Ho avuto vibes da red flag da Sullivan e purtroppo nemmeno l’epilogo mi ha tolto questa sensazione. Troppi problemi irrisolti… Dopo che Knight scopre che Sullivan e la tipa si sono lasciati, ha scoperto che Sullivan fa sesso a pagamento al college, tutti lo sanno, ma è un segreto 👀 (Questa cosa dei segreti è la base del libro, anche se alla fine Knight ha solo il segreto di essere gay, mentre Sullivan ne ha 7843686857683 di cui a Knight non parla e la cosa mi infastidisce perché o si fida di Knight o no).Knight si offrirà di fargli da tutor per delle materie dove non va bene, ma saranno solo amici e non faranno più sesso…(ovviamente richiesta da parte di Sullivan perché a Knight basta che Sullivan respiri per prostrarsi ai suoi piedi).Continuo a pensare che Knight si meriti qualcun altro accanto, ma si è fissato con Sullivan, purtroppo!
Una cosa che mi ha fatto innervosire (si, sempre per Sullivan!!) è che al 90% vuole tornare amico con Knight e ovviamente quando manca un capitolo alla fine si lasciano.
Non so se classificarlo romance, purtroppo io non ho percepito un briciolo di amore e sentimenti in questo libro ma solo tanta tristezza per Knight e rabbia verso Sullivan che non ha avuto una crescita.
5 stelle ad August Jones che è meravigliosa come autrice.
5 stelle a Knight perchè è stato stupendo e meraviglioso tutto il libro (e no, aver paura di fare coming out in uno sport seguitissimo come la NFL non è una colpa, anzi!)
5 stelle agli amici di Knight e Sullivan che avrei voluto conoscere meglio.
1 stella ad Adrian e Marito.
2 stelle a Sullivan perché a parole dice di tenere a Knight ma con i fatti non ci è riuscito. Mi ha dato l’impressione di stronzo egoista dalla prima interazione con Knight.
Libro consigliato solo a quelle persone che nell’angst ci sguazzano. Io ci sguazzo molto meno! ;)
Ho ricevuto una copia ARC in cambio della mia recensione sincera.


English Review: These secret years is a standalone new book by August Jones. I love August Jones and I loved her “bay area bros” series so much! This book is very angsty, my poor heart was shattered when I finished this book. The main characters are KNight, a football player and Sullivan, a Music prodigy. There is the poor-rich boy trope and the college trope that I love. The book is beautifully written, August Jones is amazing, one of my favourite authors. I loved the book, Knight is an amazing character and I wanted to hug him during the book, i felt sorry for him, he wasn’t very lucky with love. He fell in love with Sullivan, another college student. They met the first time at home during a Uno Challenge party. The attraction between them is like a fire and Knight is obsessed with him. Their relationship is 4 years long but not always happy. Ever since Sullivan had 16years old, Adrian, a music teacher, abused him with his husband for years and every college break, he wants him at their home to keep abusing him. Adrian and his husband were horrible and disgusting, I hated them. This book has a lot of angst, and i won’t recommend for fainty hearts. I received an ARC copy in exchange of my honest opinion. Thank you August Jones and The Author Agency!

[AnnaKitt · Rating 5 out of 5]

“The shape of our love is infinity.”

I’m honestly not sure where to even start with this one.
This is such an amazing, complex story, and I mean complex in the best possible way. There are so many layers to it, and they start unfolding right from the very beginning.

Because my first thought was: this is something else.
Following by: oh, this is going to HURT

“And maybe that’s why everyone’s always going on so much about their first loves.

It’s a cut that never heals because all it can do is bleed.”


It was way before 50% that I knew I was reading a 5🌟 book.
You know that feeling when you just know?

This is not one of those easy, predictable romances where you can see the whole road ahead of you. I genuinely had no idea how this story was going to unfold, and that was probably one of my favourite things about it.

Knight and Sullivan are so different, but both incredibly layered and interesting.
Sullivan, the sassy musician, had me intrigued from the very first pages and kept me on the edge till the very end.

“Welcome to my brain. Ninety-nine percent music and one percent everything else.
I get caught trespassing, and my mind wants to write a fucking etude about it.”

And then there’s Knight, who is basically a walking green flag. A total opposite of your classic star QB. He has such a gentle soul and so much love in him that I wanted to hug him the entire book 💚

“He’s like cotton candy on the inside.
A sugary sweet gay golden boy with sad eyes and a perfect dick.”

Their story is messy.
There is cheating, although not the classical kind, so please don't immediately throw rocks and just trust the process. They make questionable choices. They have questionable relationships. They hurt each other.
AND ME 😭

And that's exactly what made it feel real, frighteningly so.
Because these are 19-something (the story takes 4 years to unfold) year-old college students. They don't have everything figured out. They don't necessarily fall in love once and know exactly what to do with it forever. And even when they do know what they want, life doesn't always give a damn about their plans.

So yes, the story went in directions I absolutely didn't expect, it kept throwing punches, but it never felt OTT, exaggerated or staged.
It felt human.

Sullivan especially kept breaking my heart.
Once you get past that sassy facade and realise just how hard he's trying to make himself unapproachable, only to completely crumble every time Knight reaches for him..😭

“Then I’m gonna ask again. How do you want me?”
A silent sob shakes my chest.
“I want you to fuck me like you love me.”

Did I mention how emotional this story is?
Because Knight and Sullivan's relationship was anything but predictable. I genuinely wasn't sure where are we going almost up until the epilogue 🤯

And heed my warning: read carefully.
Because apparently I was not supposed to be sitting by a hotel swimming pool in the middle of the day, suddenly breaking down in tears over a Nutcracker 😭

The book was heartbreaking throughout, but after about 75% I actually had to start taking breaks because it was just.. too much.

“Knight, my first love. My everything. The shape of infinity. The shape of stars. The shape of secrets and freedom. The shape of a sound so haunting and beautiful, I’ll forever follow where it leads.”


I am still processing this.
I have a ridiculous number of highlights, I feel like I've been dragged through an emotional train wreck, and I am still not okay.

This one is going straight onto my best shelves. So much work and care and love was put into this book, you can actually feel it in every word.
I am incredibly grateful for this ARC 💙

[Finalgirl · Rating 5 out of 5]

A 5-star read, and yet I am struggling to write this review. Mainly because I'm still processing through the emotional damage that August Jones has put me through. This is not an easy fluffy read. It's rough and painful. Beautiful and heartbreaking. Most importantly, realistic.

The traumas Sullivan experiences are not easily fixed and packaged away; he carries them with him, often letting it seep into and poison every aspect of his life. Like real life, he doesn't walk away from years of grooming, sexual and physical abuse whole. Sullivan is systematically broken down, and it is extremely painful to witness. He finds control through self-harm and food withholding. It is not pretty but is human.

Knight's struggle with being closeted is so amazingly realistic. There is no easy answer, but a choice: follow his dreams of being in the NFL hiding who he is and not having a relationship or giving it all up for a possibility for love. Knight loves football, it's who he is, it's all ever wanted. For Knight there is no choice; there is only football and maybe flings here and there. But he doesn't see a future that holds both love and football. The harsh reality of coming out would ruin everything. This is way professional sports players don't come out. Most of the time the reality is one or the other. Theres no room for being queer in the professional sports world. No kissing in an ice rink in front of the entire world after winning the championship game. That is not real life.

There are no easy outs in this story, no neat little bows that wrap everything up nicely, and that is why this novel is perfect and beautiful and oh so very painful. There is an HEA. It might not be a skipping into the future with rose color glasses on tra-la-la ending. But it is beautiful, sweet and so hard won, I think I'll be emotionally damaged for weeks.

There are 40 chapters in the novel, and I am 99% sure I ugly cried at the end of all of them. There may have even been some sounds of anguish. I loved every damn minute of it and wouldn't change a thing. Books that slip under the skin and make you feel all the horrible and beautiful things at once; this is what storytelling and reading are all about.

For me this book is everything, well written, wonderful characters that feel real and human, and a stellar love story dripping in realism. Our MMCs fight tooth and nail, to survive, heal and of course love one another unabashedly. This story will stay with me for a while, and I will most likely end up randomly crying l when I think about it. I am 1000% here for it. I cannot recommend it enough, but check your triggers there's a lot, this is not a soft story, and only you can protect your mental health. It's so beautiful it hurts (and slowly mends).

[Katkejt ☾. · Rating 5 out of 5]

Sullivan • Knight

….

“In a ruin that only love and time can heal. The shape of our love is infinity.” <3.

….

If you been following my reviews, by now you should notice my unconditional love relationship with August’s books. I only have a few gem authors like her but this love was hard earned - with beautiful words.

Every single time I am in awe after reading a story be brought to life. They aren’t perfect - yet what is - but they’re honest. Honesty will always win with me.

They don’t sugar coat or always give what the reader wants. If I wanted what I want - I would pick up a piece of paper and write my own … but there’s a way with words that can’t be teached - it’s in the heart of it all and August has that pure heart for words.

And with that heart Sullivan and Knight came to be. Two characters that from nothing became everything. Slowly, gradually, naturally. Everything. Everything for each other and to each other through years… years of secrets, hurt, intimacy and respect.

This book breaks you through the years before it brings you back together - yet in the same pieces? No, but with so many important new ones stitched together - to heal us with the characters.

These Secret Years brings you a love born out of clandestine meetings, so much yearning, shared secrets and quiet momentoms - turned into eternity.

Thank you, August.

….

“It makes the shittiest sound, but it reminds me of a time where music meant freedom and good, beautiful things. I can’t reclaim my innocence at this point, but I can remember it.” // “I think about you, you know?” // “Then what is this?” - “This is summer.” // “For making wanting hurt the way it does.” // “Anywhere I want?” - “Everywhere.” // “When I finally lift my head to look at his face again, it’s like he’s been waiting for me to notice him.” // “I remember we didn’t kiss that morning, but he gave me a really long hug before he left. Longer than usual, like he didn’t want to leave any more than I wanted him to.” // “It’s not until morning that I realize what he did by sending me that song and making me promise to call him back.” // “I need you to look in the mirror, Sullivan. I need you to see what I see.” // “Wish I was, too.” // “Inhale two, three, four, exhale, two, three, four, five, six, inhale…” // “Because he’s the best person. The most valuable everything. The most wonderful secret I’ve ever kept.” …

….

Hazlett - last night you said you missed me

….

*I reviewed a complimentary copy of this book. All thoughts are my own. 

….

[Donna Jackson · Rating 4 out of 5]

✨ARC REVIEW✨

Sullivan and Knight are total opposites and come from two different worlds but they can’t get enough of each other. In the beginning, For their own reasons, they both know that their agreement as friends with benefits has an expiration date and can’t become anything serious, no matter how badly they both want something more. Knight is desperate to know everything about Sullivan but Sullivan only gives him so much and that kills Knight. They both have their own secrets but Sullivan especially keeps his locked up tight.

Sullivan has music and Knight has football so their worlds rarely meet but that doesn’t stop them from thinking about the other. The instant connection these two had, the way Knight couldn’t tear his eyes away from Sullivan when they first met was so sweet and I loved seeing the way their relationship grew into something neither of them expected.

I am obsessed with how this story spanned over several years and you could see how Knight and Sullivan changed and how their relationship became more as well. They always kept coming back to each other and just couldn’t give up on what started as just a hookup.

Knight is such a pure and sweet soul. He would do anything for Sullivan and I loved how he was just so enamored by Sullivan the moment he saw him and it just spiraled from there, even though he felt like he shouldn’t want him.

Sullivan had been through so much. He had been wronged by so many people and had trouble trusting people but he trusted Knight more than anyone and felt safest with him.

This book deals with a lot of heavy topics and it absolutely crushed me but The love that Sullivan and Knight had for each other will stick with me and oh my god they really stole my heart.

[Bethany Hall · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thank you @theauthor.agency for the digital copy to review!

I have loved every @authoraugustjones book I’ve read, but this is far and away her best work yet. Absolutely stunning. I struggled to put the book down. I read it on my breaks at work. I stayed up practically holding my eyelids open to read it. I immediately messaged August when I was done telling them how much I loved it.

Knight and Sullivan’s love story is *not* for the faint of heart. There is a lot of trauma, repressed feelings about themselves, shame, outside factors, and a lot, lot, lot of learning what it means to be abused for years and how it affects you and your relationship. Not only that - the third act had me on my knees crying because I could relate so hard to what Knight was going through.

Knight is so patient and kind and loving and scared and confused and dedicated and hopeful and strong and protective. He is so thoughtful and when he loves it’s with his whole heart. He has an amazing friend group, a great and supportive (mostly) family, and he really is doing his best to be who he is.

Sullivan has been dealing with so much. He’s scared and loving and hopeful and hurting and traumatized and thoughtful and so strong. He lost so much of himself so young and didn’t realize what was happening to him until it was too late to back out. He also had a friend who supported him but he needed more than one.

I cannot go too far into details or I will get into spoiler territory but if you want a book that will make you *feel* all of the things, full of beautiful moments, with lots of spice to grow a relationship, boy do I have a book for you. The growth, the love, the devotion, the care, the everything. I cannot get over this book. I love it too much.

This one is *special* and I feel like there could be more in this universe or is that just wishful thinking??? Regardless - this is the best August Jones book yet and just trust me and read it. Pete Cross would have my back on this too (we are big August Jones fans).

Xoxo. Thank you @authoraugustjones for always indulging me. I adore you.

[Josephine Thornton · Rating 5 out of 5]

I received an advance copy of THESE SECRET YEARS via Author and Agency. All opinions are my own.

THESE SECRET YEARS
by August Jones

🏈college football star x music prodigy
 🎼forbidden love/secret affair 
🏈high angst 
🎼opposites attract 
🏈grumpy/ sunshine 
🎼rich boy/poor boy 
🏈coming of age 
🎼who did this to you? 
🏈hurt/comfort 
🎼mm romance


Rating: 5 / 5

The story focuses on Knight and Sullivan. They first met on the first day of freshman year. Knight is a football star who's hiding that he's gay, and Sullivan is a music whiz who's unsure about his sexuality. The book covers all their experiences and how their relationship changed during college. I loved this book. Reading this made my heart ache and my eyes well up with tears. Sullivan went through some really terrible stuff. It was like I was a friend, seeing them over the years.

It was heartbreaking to hear about what Sullivan endured. He wasn't, in my opinion, good for Knight. His actions made me want to shout at him.

Knight was, without a doubt, one of the best book boyfriends. He remained humble despite being the star QB. He was really nice and sweet to everyone. Sullivan was everything to him. His story had a lot of ups and downs but still tried to be a better person.

Wow this book was amazing. This is a must-read for fans of college MM romance.


Check the Triggers


My Fav Quote:

"Knight, my first love. My everything. The shape of infinity. The shape of stars. The shape of secrets and freedom. The shape of a sound so haunting and beautiful, I'll forever follow where it leads." (from an advance copy — may change before publication)

[Michelle Exploringwithchapters · Rating 5 out of 5]

There isn't much of August Jones work that I don't love. She has a way of writing, that connects in a deeper way, no matter what it is. If it is humor, or banter, or spice. It just hits a little different when it's written by August. One thing I know I can count on when I read August Jones, is that it will be believable, and authentic. The heat will be heated, squirm in your seat heated. And the hurt will be, well.... you guessed it. I spent the last 50% of this book off and on crying. If that is a hard no for you, let me also share that I don't often read high angst/ hurt stories- so my reaction may not match yours.

Generic/ but could be viewed as a Spoiler thought: These guys were meant to be together, and it did take several years for them to figure that out, and then they had to figure out how. NFL football does not have a lot of gay quarterback representation if you know what I mean. I felt ok reading the first half of the book because I knew they were supposed to be together. The second half of the book had our boys mostly on the same page. And thankfully so, because as the story unfolds and the backstories are revealed, you just need that connection to fall back on, and keep you strong.

This book does have a HEA, but August takes you right up to the end before she completely lets you have it. It was beautiful, and painful, and so fucking real. And I am so glad I allowed myself to read it.

[Hailey · Rating 5 out of 5]

My goodness this book makes you work for it!
August wasn’t lying when she named the book These Secret YEARS!

The angst!!! It was non-stop! And I could not put it down!

I absolutely adore these boys so damn much! Knight and Sullivan are just perfection!

What Sullivan has been dealing with since he was so young broke my heart for him, I wanted to jump into the book and just rescue him from it all. And Knight, not knowing what was happening but still just being his perfect self and being there for Sullivan in any way he could – it was just everything and more!

The angst I felt with these two was ridiculous. When August said this book had high angst – she meant it. But it’s something that kept me hooked reading this beautiful pair’s story. I was rooting for them the whole time.

The lake house – love! I love all the memories the boys have here, i love what it means to them both.
The truck full of blankets – and how that night transpired – be still my beating heart!

A brilliant book about love, overcoming the sh*t life throws at you, surviving, being free and ultimately helping each other heal.

The journey and the angst was so worth it and I would do it all over again just to read Knight and Sullivan’s story for the first time again.

And August – if what you say in your acknowledgements is true about these boys, I need more! SO much more!

I can’t stop thinking about them!

[Britney · Rating 5 out of 5]

I don’t even know where to begin.

I loved this book.
Loved. Loved. Loved it.

I cried—and I am not a crier. I scoff at criers. (KIDDING. Mostly.) But August Jones moved me to tears, and honestly, that alone should tell you how deeply this story got under my skin.

Reading These Secret Years reminded me why I’ve always loved her writing. August writes with so much honesty—even when that honesty is ugly. The darker emotions. The truths we don’t want to admit. The ways insecurity, grief, fear, and imposter syndrome can make us miss opportunities, hurt people we love, and fall painfully short of who we want to be.

She lets her characters be imperfect.

Really imperfect.

And somehow, that makes their love feel even more beautiful.

This isn’t a dark romance. Knight and Sullivan aren’t pulled together because of some trauma bond. They’re just college kids who find each other quietly, secretly, and completely.

Their bond is built through shared confidences, stardust, beautiful ruins, flickering flames, hollowed halls, fresh-cut grass, tree bark, Yeti coolers, long gazes, passion, and yearning… So much yearning.

It was secret, but it was never small. Their love felt powerful, life-altering, selfless, and certain. The kind of devotion I’m not even sure I could imagine on my own. And maybe that’s why writers like August Jones matter. Because sometimes we need someone else to show us what a love like that could look like.

Verdict:
Beautiful, aching, intimate, and deeply human. This book didn’t just make me feel—it reminded me why I read romance in the first place.

ARC Disclosure: I received a complimentary e-book copy of this title as an Advanced Reader Copy (ARC) in exchange for an honest review. As always, all thoughts and opinions are my own.

[Mal · Rating 5 out of 5]

I believe this is one if the hardest books I’ve read. Not because it’s graphic or in any way gratuitous in it’s plumbing of the depths of trauma and coercion but because Jones forces you to feel the trap, the utter closure of options you cannot possibly choose without giving something precious up, how the exchange of future security and happiness asks you to trade in your core and vulnerability now, dupes you, coerces you into giving up your power. Even now writing this review has me choking up, reminding me of how i cried while i read, unable to avoid the writing like i normally would to get past a particularly hard part.

The story has facets sharpened with immense loss but also swaths of healing. There is love and connection and family and friendships, beautiful layers making up this book that I couldn’t put down for 3 days. Also that ending had me flying high, completely euphoric, goosebumps when he says *readcted*

Knight and Sullivan’s love story is genuinely beautiful, lovingly built by the author and asks you to read it with grace. This might be one of my favourite stories by August Jones.

Here is what you can expect but this story is so much larger than the sum of it’s parts:

🏈college football star x music prodigy
🎼forbidden love/secret affair
🏈high angst
🎼opposites attract
🏈grumpy/ sunshine
🎼rich boy/poor boy
🏈coming of age
🎼who did this to you?
🏈hurt/comfort

[MJ · Rating 5 out of 5]

✨ARC REVIEW✨

Rating: 4.75/5⭐ (rounded up)
Spice: 3/5🌶️

WHAT TO EXPECT:
🏈college football star x music prodigy
🎼forbidden love/secret affair
🏈high angst
🎼opposites attract
🏈grumpy/ sunshine
🎼rich boy/poor boy
🏈coming of age
🎼who did this to you?
🏈hurt/comfort
🎼mm romance

Trust August Jones to write an emotionally unrestrained story that hurts and heals you until the very last page.

These Secret Years is an unfiltered epic love story between two unlikely people: two people on different ends of the spectrum in terms of school majors/careers, family relationships, and financial situations. Unexpectedly, Sullivan and Knight compliment each other in ways only true soulmates can.

This is a high angst story that’ll leave you feeling raw and exposed, but completely proud of how far these two main characters come, together and apart.

The book does end on more of a HFN note, but it’s impossible not to believe in their love for one another to go the distance. If anything, I think Jones just might have more of their story to tell…we shall see (and hope)!

**I received an ARC and this is my honest review.**

[Mandy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow. I just loved this! I might have to sit with it a bit before I can come up with a more articulate review. But I loved Knight from the start. He was not your typical "Star QB" and I loved that about him. His mom said he has a "gentle soul" and I felt that in all of his interactions. Especially with Sullivan, and I loved the way he was with Sullivan. It took me a little bit to warm up to Sullivan, but that is just who he is and you learn why as their story evolves. August does such an amazing job at fleshing out characters and truly making you feel what they feel. I loved watching these boys throughout the years and all the stuff they go through together. I love that this one is jam-packed with emotion and learning and loving and healing and all the wonderful- and not so wonderful -things that make each of these guys who they are. It's about a football star and a music prodigy, but it's about So. Much. More. This one dug in and touched my heart and I'm going to be thinking about these guys for awhile. I really do hope we get to revisit them some time in the future.

[Megan · Rating 4 out of 5]

“I need you to look in the mirror, Sullivan. I need you to see what I see. And then go there and be the man they thought they could keep down."
I clutch at his shirt. "Don't let go," I whisper.
"I won't if you won't."
"I won't," I say. Not ever.
I'll love him forever.”

4.5 ⭐

I received an advance copy of this book, and I can confidently say August never disappoints. Knight and Sullivan have truly won my heart, this story had me laughing, crying, smiling, and completely swept up in every emotion from start to finish. I went in with no clear expectations, but what I read was wayyyy better than anything I could have imagined.

We meet Knight, our star quarterback who is nothing like the usual archetype. He is a gentle soul, and genuinely one of the kindest, most loving characters I have ever encountered. His deep care for Sullivan shines through in every interaction, and though he endures a great deal, he emerges stronger and more compassionate than before.

Then there is Sullivan, our quiet yet sassy violinist. He carries a difficult past and considerable trauma, yet always tries to do his best. There were moments I felt frustrated on his behalf, but he always found a way to redeem himself, and my affection for him only grew.

Their relationship unfolds in layers: strangers, lovers, strangers, friends, and lovers once more, and while it follows a winding path, it never feels disjointed or repetitive. It is crafted with such care, and the narrative remained compelling throughout. The other characters are equally well-written, and I particularly loved D (his book when?! LOL)

I would not change a single thing about this book. I look forward to revisiting it on release day, when I can mark and highlight my favourite quotes. It was a privilege to read this story early, and to meet these two characters who have meant so much to me.

Make sure to check your TW before reading. If you don’t have any, I suggest going in blind. Happy reading!

[Tracy~Bayou Book Junkie · Rating 4 out of 5]

4 Stars

This story was so frustrating at times. Once you get Sullivan’s full story and what he’s going through, you can understand his actions, but throughout the first half of the story he just wasn’t likable. I wanted to give up and close the book so many times because I just really disliked Sullivan.

Now, when it came to Knight, I absolutely adored him from the very beginning of the story. He was so sweet and caring.

This wasn’t an easy read. It was beyond angsty and every time I thought oh, finally, they get to be happy, the author threw another curveball in their way. They truly had to work for their happy ending and I wasn’t sure they’d ever get there.

The story was enjoyable, but for me, there was too much inner-dialogue at times and I often felt I just wanted to skip ahead to get to the meat of the story. Still, it’s a recommendable read, just be sure to bring your tissues and perhaps a punching bag for to get out your frustrations.

*book provided to Bayou Book Junkie in exchange for an honest review*

[Richelle Zirkle · Rating 4 out of 5]

Knight and Sullivan had me in my feels for this one. I questioned how so much time would be covered over the span of this story, but I think that part is really well done and essential to the story unfolding. I loved meeting them as new college students and seeing how they grew and evolved as characters. Knight, the up and coming quarterback, is an interesting soul with his love for homes and his habit for gathering friends and making them family. Sullivan is an extraordinary musician and composer. His relationship status is complicated. He’s dealing with his demons, his traumas, and baggage in the best way he can, and just trying to survive for much of the story. These two go from strangers to lovers to friends to something more as they discover who they’re meant to be and the space they're meant to occupy. The secondary characters along for the journey make their struggles and successes and highs and lows all the more meaningful, and I hope we see them again.

[Candice Lee · Rating 4 out of 5]

Arc Review

Knight and Sullivan are really put to the test through this. I will be honest and say that Knight is far more likeable than Sullivan, Sullivan comes off as such an ass in the beginning. I know why but it makes it harder to like them. I mean you still want him to get out of his situation and you’re rooting for him but sometimes you just wish he was kinder to himself and others. As the book progresses you see more of the why and you can’t help but feel for him and understand him.
Knight is so kind, and your heart can’t help but break for him as he navigates his secret.
These two loved each other so completely and through everything. They turned out to have amazing support from their friends and family with how hard they had to work for their happiness you can’t help but hope it is their forever. They have earned it!

[Kristen Houghton · Rating 4 out of 5]

ARC Review (and thank you so much for the ARC!). Oh Knight and Sullivan. These two perfectly imperfect boys! Knight was smitten from the beginning and Sullivan, I had concerns that he was just going to play Knight the whole time or hurt him, but trauma does weird things to your brain so I do get where he was coming from.
Their relationship is a slower burn, and it’s quiet, it’s transactional which Knight isn’t a fan of but Sullivan’s trauma and circumstances are always there in the background. Their love story overcomes so much, they learn so much about life and each other and trust is hard for Sullivan but Knight is so well named and proves himself over and over again. Honestly this is a story of love overcoming everything and it’s lovely but though at times because of both of their circumstances, the shadows they have to stay in. It’s very human and makes you think what battles people are going through. Very well written and paved out.

[Marni Ortiz · Rating 5 out of 5]

These Secret Years !!
Oh my gosh guys , where do I even start to find the right words that could clearly describe what a truly phenomenal story this was and is . That could express the connection I felt to knight and Sullivans characters and how 100 % in love I fell with their journey. Fun , steamy , beautiful, heartbreaking, heartfelt- those are only a few words I can think of to describe their story . I loved that neither was perfect, that both had to overcome obstacles and challenges to find their happy ending. I loved how they supported one another, how they became each others safe place . Add into that the angst and the humor and the witty banter , the family and friendships, the drama , the second chances . I really was completely blown away in all the best ways and I most definitely could not get enough of these two , smiling, laughing, crying and cheering so freaking hard .

[ErikaWasReading]

Did I DNF? Yes. Would I still absolutely recommend this book? ABSOLUTELY YES.

I know it’s cliché to say, “it’s not you, it’s me.” But in the case of These Secret Years, it is 100% me.

I read the trigger warnings and knew what I was getting into. However, I didn’t take into account that this content and these dark topics were in August Jones' incredibly skilled hands and would leave me feeling so beyond angsty.

This book is heavy in a very beautiful way, and I am just not in the place to continue. Sullivan is a complicated person in an incredibly complicated situation, and while Knight is a sweetheart, his situation is not easy either.

But, please, please, please do not take my DNF as a slight against this book. August Jones is an amazing writer, and this book deserves an audience.

[bookygirl · Rating 4 out of 5]

A strong, complex romance between two complicated men.

These Secret Years is a story told over several years of college between the closeted football player Knight and the emotionally scarred Sullivan. Both characters are complex, flawed, and traumatized in their own ways, but are a great example of how two broken people can help each other heal.

Much of the story is told apart, making the moments between the two even sweeter when they happen. It took me a while to get fully into the story, as it is definitely a slow burn, but once I did I devoured the rest. Overall a very strong romance!

[AGD · Rating 3 out of 5]

August Jones is a fantastic author whose books have delighted me since The Handler. That said, this one just didn’t grab me and hold me hostage like her previous books. I know Sullivan was having REAL, hard-to-come-back-from problems, but I just didn’t like that guy and I definitely didn’t understand what Knight, this perfect human specimen, saw in him. I really love the way Jones writes, however, and will always be reaching for her next book even though this one didn’t float my boat. I think I might just be aging out of reading about college kids, no matter how well the characters are written.