What do you think?
Rate this book
The Forked Tongue Revisited: A handbook for treating people badly
This book is not comforting; it does not reassure. It does not teach anything a decent person needs to know. It is a book about BDSM, but it will teach you nothing about tying knots, swinging floggers or spanking. It does not attempt to reach the vanilla public. This book addresses control, it addresses change. The recreational uses of humiliation, conditioning, psychological torture, hypnotism and interrogation techniques are explored and laid bare, broken into usable steps and understandable, applicable concepts. It is a workshop of ruin, the tools necessary to cement lasting alteration and unforgettable experiences for those few who truly crave them.
Note: The is the "revisited" addition that includes additional transcriptions from classes and lectures as well as memorial content that sheds additional light on the author and his work.
Note: The is the "revisited" addition that includes additional transcriptions from classes and lectures as well as memorial content that sheds additional light on the author and his work.
- GenresBDSMSexualityNonfiction
266 pages, Kindle Edition
First published January 1, 2008
50 people are currently reading
188 people want to read
About the author
Fannie Flagg
58 books4,874 followersFannie Flagg began writing and producing television specials at age nineteen and went on to distinguish herself as an actress and writer in television, films, and the theater. She is the author of the New York Times bestsellers Daisy Fay and the Miracle Man, Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistle Stop Cafe (which was produced by Universal Pictures as "Fried Green Tomatoes"), Welcome to the World, Baby Girl!, Standing in the Rainbow, and A Redbird Christmas.
Flagg’s film script for "Fried Green Tomatoes" was nominated for both the Academy Award and the Writers Guild of America Award and won the highly regarded Scripters Award. She lives in California and Alabama.
Flagg’s film script for "Fried Green Tomatoes" was nominated for both the Academy Award and the Writers Guild of America Award and won the highly regarded Scripters Award. She lives in California and Alabama.
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 14 of 14 reviews
August 13, 2022
You are the authority figure in a Kafka nightmare.
This was the first kink how-to book I remember seeing that interested me enough to pick it up, and I'm glad I did. Flagg takes the risk-management approach that some people are going to do this stuff anyway (mmhmm, yes I will) so they might as well know how to do it well and what the risks are, and then uses that aproach to outline possibilities of power dynamics and some high-risk activities by which they can be enforced.
After one of my favorite pieces of writing I've seen on safety, consent and desire, Flagg goes into a chapter on creating structure in power dynamic relationships that actually made the concept tangible to me. Like Flagg, I find the concept of long and detailed contracts irritating at best - the glamor is lost on me - so his approach of separating out protocol, ritual and rules was something I could easily connect with and use to find the parts that worked for me.
This structure established, the next five chapters - on hypnofetish, mindfuck, humiliation, conditioning, interrogation - similarly addressed the component concepts of each kind of play and then offered examples in action. Flagg makes a point throughout of how many of these things work best (or sometimes, work at all) by being extremely personal, and the examples are presented to highlight this: they come with enough context to understand why, for that specific bottom, the choice worked, and they're often presented alongside an example that is different if not opposite to emphasize the personal nature of each choice.
The hypnofetish chapter is perhaps the least directly instructive, and in fact mostly forgoes direct instruction on the premise that in-depth information on how to induce hypnosis is accessible and better obtained from those with more expertise. The limited instruction is focused on how to connect hypnosis methods to your kinks or other intentions, and Flagg continues on to explore what you can do with hypnosis and identify what you can expect out of it.
I really appreciated the mindfuck chapter for honing in on how to make mindfuck work. The longest chapter and the most example-heavy, it is based around building the conceptual tools for mindfuck and then showing how to implement them, as well as how not to. It's well paired with the humiliation chapter that follows, which works along a similar conceptual focus. The humiliation chapter is, by the way, worlds apart from humiliation guides and workshops that I've seen in the past. It wastes no time telling that some people find being called a slut or forced to crossdress humiliating, and where possible focuses on why various actions can effect certain desired feelings, as well as attempting to separate out what some of those feelings are. They're the two activity-focused chapters I felt I took the most away from that I can most immediately apply to my kink.
Conditioning and interrogation were the most directly instructive chapters. The conditioning one is well done; it didn't contain much I didn't already know, but it pulled what I did know into a framework I found useful. The interrogation chapter, on the other hand, caught me by surprise with how much I did know. (Apparently I've been using one of the techniques mentioned in interpersonal non-kink contexts and knowing it sets people off guard and totally not understanding what I was doing or what impact exactly it was happening. Yikes. Sorry.) So, now I have a better sense of what those tools are that I've been using, and how to use them better as well as identify when others are using them. These are the two activity-focused chapters that gave me the most meat to chew on.
It ends with a brief acknowledgement of questions people bring in to this sort of play and a validation of choice as a response, followed by Flagg's experience in finding his way through kink and leather communities to this play, in which he repeats what I already knew but can always bear being reminded: most kink isn't like this, many kinky people want nothing to do with this, many find this kind of activity reprehensible, abusive, or problematic, or simplify it to role play and never get to the point of terror. Beyond as a reminder, it was helpful to me to hear someone with different experiences in different communities sharing this specific one.
I wish it was about three times as long, but I appreciate the size as being very easy to pass on to, um, people who I'd like to see doing some bad bad things.
This was the first kink how-to book I remember seeing that interested me enough to pick it up, and I'm glad I did. Flagg takes the risk-management approach that some people are going to do this stuff anyway (mmhmm, yes I will) so they might as well know how to do it well and what the risks are, and then uses that aproach to outline possibilities of power dynamics and some high-risk activities by which they can be enforced.
After one of my favorite pieces of writing I've seen on safety, consent and desire, Flagg goes into a chapter on creating structure in power dynamic relationships that actually made the concept tangible to me. Like Flagg, I find the concept of long and detailed contracts irritating at best - the glamor is lost on me - so his approach of separating out protocol, ritual and rules was something I could easily connect with and use to find the parts that worked for me.
This structure established, the next five chapters - on hypnofetish, mindfuck, humiliation, conditioning, interrogation - similarly addressed the component concepts of each kind of play and then offered examples in action. Flagg makes a point throughout of how many of these things work best (or sometimes, work at all) by being extremely personal, and the examples are presented to highlight this: they come with enough context to understand why, for that specific bottom, the choice worked, and they're often presented alongside an example that is different if not opposite to emphasize the personal nature of each choice.
The hypnofetish chapter is perhaps the least directly instructive, and in fact mostly forgoes direct instruction on the premise that in-depth information on how to induce hypnosis is accessible and better obtained from those with more expertise. The limited instruction is focused on how to connect hypnosis methods to your kinks or other intentions, and Flagg continues on to explore what you can do with hypnosis and identify what you can expect out of it.
I really appreciated the mindfuck chapter for honing in on how to make mindfuck work. The longest chapter and the most example-heavy, it is based around building the conceptual tools for mindfuck and then showing how to implement them, as well as how not to. It's well paired with the humiliation chapter that follows, which works along a similar conceptual focus. The humiliation chapter is, by the way, worlds apart from humiliation guides and workshops that I've seen in the past. It wastes no time telling that some people find being called a slut or forced to crossdress humiliating, and where possible focuses on why various actions can effect certain desired feelings, as well as attempting to separate out what some of those feelings are. They're the two activity-focused chapters I felt I took the most away from that I can most immediately apply to my kink.
Conditioning and interrogation were the most directly instructive chapters. The conditioning one is well done; it didn't contain much I didn't already know, but it pulled what I did know into a framework I found useful. The interrogation chapter, on the other hand, caught me by surprise with how much I did know. (Apparently I've been using one of the techniques mentioned in interpersonal non-kink contexts and knowing it sets people off guard and totally not understanding what I was doing or what impact exactly it was happening. Yikes. Sorry.) So, now I have a better sense of what those tools are that I've been using, and how to use them better as well as identify when others are using them. These are the two activity-focused chapters that gave me the most meat to chew on.
It ends with a brief acknowledgement of questions people bring in to this sort of play and a validation of choice as a response, followed by Flagg's experience in finding his way through kink and leather communities to this play, in which he repeats what I already knew but can always bear being reminded: most kink isn't like this, many kinky people want nothing to do with this, many find this kind of activity reprehensible, abusive, or problematic, or simplify it to role play and never get to the point of terror. Beyond as a reminder, it was helpful to me to hear someone with different experiences in different communities sharing this specific one.
I wish it was about three times as long, but I appreciate the size as being very easy to pass on to, um, people who I'd like to see doing some bad bad things.
January 28, 2023
Enlightening...
this book is packed with some really dark stuff. It is not for most people. Another bdsm nonfiction writer wisely wrote in their book that bdsm allows us the opportunity to explore things that are normally found in toxic people, but with a loving partner. This book is the epitome of that sentiment. If you're going to play these kinds of games, best make sure your partner loves you more than the game.
this book is packed with some really dark stuff. It is not for most people. Another bdsm nonfiction writer wisely wrote in their book that bdsm allows us the opportunity to explore things that are normally found in toxic people, but with a loving partner. This book is the epitome of that sentiment. If you're going to play these kinds of games, best make sure your partner loves you more than the game.
September 18, 2008
This is the first and by my best guess the only bdsm-related book I'd recommend on a real-book site. Worth reading even if it's not your thing.
October 11, 2025
I was so torn on my rating for this.
This book is broken up into three parts (three "books" as they call it):
Book 1: a collection of essays and reflections on Flagg (the author) and his life, the connections that he had, and the experiences those close to him had with him.
Book 2: The actual text of the book.
Book 3: a collection of transcripts from various podcasts or classes.
To be frank, Book 1 was almost enough to make me put this in the DNF pile. That section was 1-2 stars for me. Some of the recollections raise up my haunches and have me questioning if anyone here understands consent or boundaries. And yes, I understand that the book is about "treating people badly" but some of the stories seem to tell of a person who didn't give a shit about anyone around them and saw the whole word and playthings regardless of negotiation. These were *definitely* people I did not want to be taking any advice from.
But I pushed through, and I'm really glad I did.
The actual book was well through out, relatively detailed (for such a short text), and seemed to understand nuance in behaviors and actions. The book is mostly about mental play, but mental play can be brought into so many aspects of kink play and even in life. I feel like so much can be extrapolated from what the author suggests and recommends. And best of all: he understands individuals enough to encourage the reader to use or discard anything that works for them! It seems to be a complete 180 from the person the first essays were describing.
The final book I was about 50/50 on. There are transcripts from 2 classes, which are essentially just retellings of the main book. But the final two transcripts, from the podcast, are very interesting and discuss different topics.
Overall: as a book it it's entirety I would probably do 3-4 stars, but for The Forked Tongue as it's own text it is a strong 5 in my book!
This book is broken up into three parts (three "books" as they call it):
Book 1: a collection of essays and reflections on Flagg (the author) and his life, the connections that he had, and the experiences those close to him had with him.
Book 2: The actual text of the book.
Book 3: a collection of transcripts from various podcasts or classes.
To be frank, Book 1 was almost enough to make me put this in the DNF pile. That section was 1-2 stars for me. Some of the recollections raise up my haunches and have me questioning if anyone here understands consent or boundaries. And yes, I understand that the book is about "treating people badly" but some of the stories seem to tell of a person who didn't give a shit about anyone around them and saw the whole word and playthings regardless of negotiation. These were *definitely* people I did not want to be taking any advice from.
But I pushed through, and I'm really glad I did.
The actual book was well through out, relatively detailed (for such a short text), and seemed to understand nuance in behaviors and actions. The book is mostly about mental play, but mental play can be brought into so many aspects of kink play and even in life. I feel like so much can be extrapolated from what the author suggests and recommends. And best of all: he understands individuals enough to encourage the reader to use or discard anything that works for them! It seems to be a complete 180 from the person the first essays were describing.
The final book I was about 50/50 on. There are transcripts from 2 classes, which are essentially just retellings of the main book. But the final two transcripts, from the podcast, are very interesting and discuss different topics.
Overall: as a book it it's entirety I would probably do 3-4 stars, but for The Forked Tongue as it's own text it is a strong 5 in my book!
July 29, 2025
Excellent BDSM book for the real freaks. The revisited version has a sentimental notes from people that knew Flagg, and it is nice to get a better picture of the man, but they bog down the book a bit. Flagg's own words are well written but his colleagues are not quite as measured. Likewise, the appendices are messy, seemingly they're transcripts of the same seminars that Flagg based the book on, so it's very repetitive.
Skip all the extra bits, read The Forked Tongue itself, and then read the rest if you want to. The man was a real dominant, and worth learning from.
Skip all the extra bits, read The Forked Tongue itself, and then read the rest if you want to. The man was a real dominant, and worth learning from.
July 16, 2023
This book IS comforting. It IS reassuring. And it is a book that a decent person would want to read.
The cover copy is over dramatic. Good hook though.
I found so much that is applicable for beginners and experienced alike. The the very foundations are covered in detail with all the emphasis they deserve.
I liked that there was nothing about knots or suspension or flogger varieties. It would have distracted from the principles.
The cover copy is over dramatic. Good hook though.
I found so much that is applicable for beginners and experienced alike. The the very foundations are covered in detail with all the emphasis they deserve.
I liked that there was nothing about knots or suspension or flogger varieties. It would have distracted from the principles.
February 15, 2024
Very much an 'old guard' exploration of power exchange. I didn't find it shocking in the way that is suggested on the blurb .. perhaps that says more about me than the average reader though!
There were a handful of passages that I photographed as they so beautifully related to myself and my sadist play partner.
There were a handful of passages that I photographed as they so beautifully related to myself and my sadist play partner.
July 9, 2024
pretty good bdsm book
This book is about the things done from the Dominant/Owner/Top side.
This is not an introductory book on bdsm or control, it’s more of a text on reshaping your s-type. How to mess with them with the goal of confirming them to your desires and whims and remake them as you’d have them be.
This book is about the things done from the Dominant/Owner/Top side.
This is not an introductory book on bdsm or control, it’s more of a text on reshaping your s-type. How to mess with them with the goal of confirming them to your desires and whims and remake them as you’d have them be.
October 21, 2025
The main part of the book was informative. The unedited podcasts in the back of the book were overkill. They could have been edited down for content and quality. The front part of the book felt like it was just increasing the page count. It would be nice to have someone expand the mind fucking techniques.
May 10, 2021
Eh, nothing new for me but well written. I got the longer version but really only wanted the meat of it in the middle there, that might contribute to my "eh it was ok" to be honest.
January 20, 2025
Lots to learn from Flagg, I know within the community this is generally a controversial book but is definitely worth a read if this is in your area of interest.
October 20, 2025
This book was not for me, I think this is geared towards people who are new in their kink journey and are not sadomasochists. The book is relatively old at this point and the author passed away. There are some editing errors, but it makes sense why they cannot be corrected at this point.
I would encourage top types to read this book if they are newer and just getting into their kink journey. For me, this had a vibe where a top is a know it all and their bottom is kinda chopped liver. I am also not a bottom or a top, I do both so it kind of rubbed me the wrong way.
I stopped this book about two thirds into it because I just could not keep reading and many of the sections were not of interest to me. I'm not into hypnosis and if that is something you are wanting to know more about, this is not a terrible place to start.
I would encourage top types to read this book if they are newer and just getting into their kink journey. For me, this had a vibe where a top is a know it all and their bottom is kinda chopped liver. I am also not a bottom or a top, I do both so it kind of rubbed me the wrong way.
I stopped this book about two thirds into it because I just could not keep reading and many of the sections were not of interest to me. I'm not into hypnosis and if that is something you are wanting to know more about, this is not a terrible place to start.
March 22, 2017
**Be fore-warned, this book is not meant for those first entering the world of Kink.** Was recommended to me by a mutual friend on FetLife. Is filled with incredible material for anyone who is studiously interested in learning about edge play in more depth, written by a man (who unfortunately is no longer with us) with a vast amount of experience. If this is an area of interest for you, I highly recommend this one!
February 27, 2020
Interesting ideas, but also has very shaky and problematic views on consent. Take with a pound of salt
Displaying 1 - 14 of 14 reviews