Vessels: A Love Story

by Daniel Raeburn

When Dan, a writer with a passion for underground comics, and his wife Bekah, a potter dedicated to traditional Japanese ceramics, met through a mutual friend, they swiftly fell in love. “Of all the women I’ve ever met,” Dan told a friend, “she’s the first one who felt like family.” But at Christmas, as they prepared for the birth of their first child, tragedy struck.


Based on Daniel Raeburn’s acclaimed New Yorker essay, Vessels: A Love Story is the story of how he and Bekah clashed and clung to each other through a series of unsuccessful pregnancies before finally, joyfully, becoming parents. In prose as handsomely unadorned as his wife’s pottery, Raeburn recounts a marriage cemented by the same events that nearly broke it.


Vessels is an unflinching, enormously moving account of intimacy, endurance, and love.

Genres: Memoir, Nonfiction, Grief, Medical, Autobiography

192 pages, Hardcover

First published March 14, 2016

About the author

Daniel Raeburn is a writer and critic known for Chris Ware and the memoir Vessels. His essays have appeared in The New Yorker and elsewhere. A recipient of multiple fellowships, he lives in Chicago and teaches nonfiction at the University of Chicago.

Reviews

[Jill Elizabeth · Rating 5 out of 5]

I knew this would be an emotional read but I was wholly unprepared for the degree to which this book destroyed me. It absolutely gutted me and I don't think I can even write about it without weeping.

Five stars.

[Juan Gargiulo · Rating 5 out of 5]

Dan is my writing teacher at the University of Chicago. And he teaches us the importance of maintaining an ethical relationship with our own memories. He is always imparting gems of wisdom onto his students, many of which he generously credits to his own writing teachers, knowing fully well that they probably heard the same advice from their own writing teachers.

I bought this book because it was written by my teacher. But I finished the book---and am giving it five stars---because it is an extraordinary work of literature. The story is as heartbreaking as it is spellbinding. This 176-page book is one of the smallest on my shelf, but it is an emotional haymaker. The size of the book is testament to years of editing and cutting. This was the story he couldn't bring himself to talk about, and so he wrote it--in as few words as possible. Every word is important. There might be seven adverbs in the entire book. I read this memoir with the critical editor eye Dan has taught me to read with and I scratch my head. There is nothing to cut.

Dan teaches us that it's amazing what you can get away with leaving out. And now he shows us. The book is amazing both in content and in structure. An outstanding accomplishment.

[Penmouse · Rating 4 out of 5]

Author Daniel Raeburn has written a sad, poignant and sweet book about love and loss. He details his experiences with the love and loss of multiple babies after his wife, Bekah, goes through numerous pregnancies.

At the end of the book you will discover why his wife continued to lose babies and hopefully this information will help other women who are trying to give birth.

To the author I loved how you wrote of Irene. In parting I will write "Goodnight Irene" to end this review.

Recommend.

Review written after downloading a galley from Edelweiss.

[Emily Timco · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was provided with a copy of this book from the publisher through edelweiss for review.

This book is so full of emotion. It takes place over quite a few years, although the timeline isn't always exactly clear. Now, I'm only 18, and have never been pregnant or lost a child, however for years now I have been terrified that something like this will happen to me. Why? Because it happened to my parents. My mother miscarried three times before finally having me, she's never talked too much about it, but she was told she couldn't have children, but my parents tried anyways. They tried and they failed, again and again, one pregnancy lasted about 20 weeks. I have three brothers and sisters all older than me that i'm grateful for, because without them I wouldn't exist.

During this entire book all I could think of was how much I want my mom and dad to read this, how I think it would help my mom get some sort of closure shes never been able to have.

I didn't cry during this book, but I read it with a heavy heart and I really, really enjoyed it.

[Jenny · Rating 5 out of 5]

I tried to read this slowly, but the book is a quick read. Having said this, I don't mean that this book is fluff; it deals with some serious and dark stuff.

I knew this was a memoir about the author and his partner's experience with miscarriages, although this happily ends with a successful pregnancy. I was pregnant at the time, and I had a very easy pregnancy, but there were days when the baby would be moving and I thought of Bekah's experience at 6 months, when she experienced what she later knew were her baby's "death throes."

I'm glad this book was written and the author's narrative was both descriptively spare.

[Rebecca · Rating 1 out of 5]

I feel really horrible giving a negative review of a 1. a book about such a sensitive topic and 2. a book about someone's actual life, but the writing style just really did not suit my tastes and I feel that this powerful story could have been written differently to have more impact. 100% just my opinion though, as I don't feel that it would be right for me to try to tell someone how to tell their personal story.

[Katherine Pederson · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a very powerful book about pure loss. I've never been a mother, nor want to be, but the author brought me into HIS experience of losing a child and children-to-be. I hesitate to call a book about child-loss as "refreshing"; this is a realistic and totally heartfelt love story to his wife and his first daughter. It's not maudlin nor sappy. Some readers may be confused about time lines, but the way the author presents his thoughts are authentic. Wow...thank you for sharing Dan.

[Lisa · Rating 3 out of 5]

It was beautiful and heartbreaking. The writing style was choppy and at times, hard to follow, but I think it was written in the way thoughts come across when recollecting something painful. There aren't a lot of books out there about stillbirth and miscarriages. There certainly aren't many written from the perspective of the father.

[Lindsey · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a mother whose firstborn was also stillborn this book moved me in so many ways. I’ve read many books/memoirs on stillbirth, this might be my favorite one.

[Babette · Rating 2 out of 5]

When does a writing style become a gimmick? This book forces the reader to ponder the question.

[Lindsay Shae · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thank you for sharing your heart.

[Claire · Rating 5 out of 5]

With spare prose Daniel tells his story - starting with never wanting to have children, updated by finding "the one" and then the complexities of human reproduction. Read it in an evening.

[Chris Waterford · Rating 5 out of 5]

A raw memoir covering a relationship that dealt with miscarriages, a stillbirth and the delight of children. It's honest, heartfelt and well written.
8/10

[Cody Boteler · Rating 5 out of 5]

Beautiful. Gut wrenching. Brilliant prose.

[Devan Seavey · Rating 5 out of 5]

Heartbreaking story that helped put words to the feelings of losing your baby before you meet them!

[Jemima Barnes · Rating 5 out of 5]

devastating

[audrey bowers · Rating 5 out of 5]

Finished the entire thing in one sitting.

[Jeff · Rating 2 out of 5]

Not what I was looking for. 2.7 stars.

I pre-ordered this book after being told about it in our support group. As a husband who has lost a baby, I've found no books written from the man's perspective. With this book I was hoping that it would be helpful and provide insight to those who have gone through this horrible life experience. If you haven't lost a baby, this book will provide a decent description of what the grief process is like. For me this book contained very little that was insightful, new, or helpful.

One of the quotes on the back of the dust cover says "There’s not a spare syllable here, and the telegraphic style has the odd effect of amplifying these profound questions, allowing them to resonate fully." The style of this book is different but I believe it is to it's detriment. I think Raeburn could have spared a few more words because parts could be confusing. It is hard to resonate fully when you have to read a sentence or paragraph multiple times because of a telegraphic writing style.

[Susan Burke · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a dark look into the lives of two very ordinary people, highlighted only by the pottery created, the whimsy and practical. I had no idea what this book was about, grabbed off the library shelf; and taken down a black hole into loss of a child, not one, or two, but three. How does anyone come back from this? Through sheer determination and love; love of the loss, love of the child who would come afterwards. I have miscarried. I know what that feels like. I have never given birth to a stillborn baby, thank God, and can't imagine what that would feel like, other then immense and tragic loss and a lifetime of grieving. And grieve they did, especially the dad. His emotion was so intense. He was distraught and he became compulsive about his lost daughter. Sad and very tragic story. I will read the jacket more carefully next time. The prose and style of writing was very good, but the content just too heavy for me right now.

[Amber · Rating 4 out of 5]

I won this book on a Goodreads giveaway and I am glad that I did. Daniel Raeburn takes the time to ask serious questions about life, and how he has reflected upon his own has made me think more about my life and what good things have come from bad experiences. He has a depth to his memoir that I do not think is often shown in many memoirs with the elegance as his. I only gave it four out of five stars, because when he speaks to characters in his book does not have the proper grammatical quotations, or periods, and exclamation points where they would be appropriately required. This drove me nuts while reading it, but I did try to focus on the chapters as a whole, and in how they have impacted his life. I definitely recommend reading this book as it is a quick read as well. It is worth your time.

[Cai · Rating 4 out of 5]

Dan Raeburn’s memoir, VESSELS, is a moving tale about the author and his wife’s journey to become parents, which began with a very disturbing stillbirth, and continued through several miscarriages. Along the way to a finally satisfying ending, the wife’s health was fragile and the couple’s marriage was tested in innumerable ways. The writing is spare and resonant, poetic in some places. My only quibble with the book is that so many small moments are treated with a sense of trembling importance, it is sometimes difficult to discern where our deepest concern should lie.

[Marika · Rating 4 out of 5]

Stillborn. That one compound word has such weight and grief to it. Author Daniel Raeburn writes in a achingly beautiful voice about his, and his wife's first child, a daughter Irene, who was stillborn. Anyone who has gone through a similar experience will identify with Daniel's and Bekah's journey, no matter if the circumstance were a bit different. In the end, this is a love letter to all who read it.

[ari]

Rating this feels like a disservice. So does seeing people give low ratings because the writing style doesn't suit their taste or that they didn't obtain anything that would help them cope with their grief. When one is not the bearer of the story, one also does not have the right to tell someone whether their way of telling the story is right or wrong.

Thank you for sharing, Dan. I finally know why you always refer to your audience with she/her pronouns.

[Lauren]

I can't rate this one because it was so hard to read, and also because it's a person's actual life. What a horrible, sad little book. It's written really beautifully, but it's just so devastating. Really graphic, too.

[Tra · Rating 4 out of 5]

Goodreads Giveaway
Daniel Raeburn beautifully documents this memoir of love and loss. It is beautiful. It is raw. It is an important book to be read by anyone who has has experienced loss or who has loved or longed to love.

[Andrew Mitchell · Rating 5 out of 5]

Dan Raeburn's prose style is understated and whip-smart. He writes movingly about loss, grief, and what it means to be a parent. The deep truths he writes are accessible even to this 23-year-old reader.

[Brittany Beadles · Rating 5 out of 5]

I won this book through a Goodreads Giveaway. This was an excellent read. It was very emotional at times. I would definitely recommend reading this book!

[Brett Stanciu · Rating 4 out of 5]

Vessels is an exquisite memoir, with a stunning central metaphor. Read this book.

[Katie · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is the saddest book I've ever read. The second half felt a little disjointed, but the writing was still beautiful and I won't forget this story.

[Natalie · Rating 4 out of 5]

How easily we can be unborn, how hard it is to live with the undead.

A harrowing account of still birth and multiple miscarriages; yet a beautiful meditation of the life that the dead can give you.