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Lolly
Bailey
He tastes like cotton candy and freedom. Like the best and worse ideas I’ve ever had.
College started off with a bang. Did I embarrass myself a few times? Absolutely. But, everything was going as planned. My grades were good, my parents were happy, and I managed to get a dorm room all to myself senior year. With my two best friends at my side, I was well on my way to pharmacy school, a wife, a house with a picket fence, and credit card debt. The American dream. That is, of course, until I met the man that turned my world upside down.
Now, working at the local pharmacy, I find my thoughts still drifting to brown eyes and a brilliant smile. To dorm room kisses and stolen glances. I spent the last two years slowly putting the broken pieces of my heart back together. Hoping that, against all odds, I could become a version of myself I can be proud of. Sometimes I wonder what he’d think of the man I am now.
Lolly
Kissing him is like touching something forbidden. It’s intoxicating. I can’t decide if this is the best or worst decision of my life…
I solemnly swore to never entertain another straight guy. Raised my right hand, had a witness and everything. The problem is that I can’t seem to stay away from him. That beautiful boy with green eyes and a soft smile. Even after years apart, he’s still on my mind, and on my heart. It’s like he carved something of himself so deep inside me I can’t buff it out. It’s exhausting missing someone you can’t have.
These days, balancing my freelance work while being a full-time caregiver has put a significant damper on my social life. I miss my friends, but the group chat has yet to stop pinging with inappropriate GIFs and ridiculous banter. I took their advice and tried the dating scene. Of course I did, I’m literally in my prime. But I’m one, “what do you do for fun,” away from deleting my account. The thing is, none of these guys scratch the itch. None of them are… him.
Lolly is a second chance romance that explores finding strength in darkness, beauty in the broken, and forgiveness through pain. A story of love and loss, of demolition and rebuilding. Even lost in darkness, through love, anyone can be found.
This book includes heavy themes related to mental health, grief, identity, and coping with trauma. This book is only intended for readers 18 and up.
He tastes like cotton candy and freedom. Like the best and worse ideas I’ve ever had.
College started off with a bang. Did I embarrass myself a few times? Absolutely. But, everything was going as planned. My grades were good, my parents were happy, and I managed to get a dorm room all to myself senior year. With my two best friends at my side, I was well on my way to pharmacy school, a wife, a house with a picket fence, and credit card debt. The American dream. That is, of course, until I met the man that turned my world upside down.
Now, working at the local pharmacy, I find my thoughts still drifting to brown eyes and a brilliant smile. To dorm room kisses and stolen glances. I spent the last two years slowly putting the broken pieces of my heart back together. Hoping that, against all odds, I could become a version of myself I can be proud of. Sometimes I wonder what he’d think of the man I am now.
Lolly
Kissing him is like touching something forbidden. It’s intoxicating. I can’t decide if this is the best or worst decision of my life…
I solemnly swore to never entertain another straight guy. Raised my right hand, had a witness and everything. The problem is that I can’t seem to stay away from him. That beautiful boy with green eyes and a soft smile. Even after years apart, he’s still on my mind, and on my heart. It’s like he carved something of himself so deep inside me I can’t buff it out. It’s exhausting missing someone you can’t have.
These days, balancing my freelance work while being a full-time caregiver has put a significant damper on my social life. I miss my friends, but the group chat has yet to stop pinging with inappropriate GIFs and ridiculous banter. I took their advice and tried the dating scene. Of course I did, I’m literally in my prime. But I’m one, “what do you do for fun,” away from deleting my account. The thing is, none of these guys scratch the itch. None of them are… him.
Lolly is a second chance romance that explores finding strength in darkness, beauty in the broken, and forgiveness through pain. A story of love and loss, of demolition and rebuilding. Even lost in darkness, through love, anyone can be found.
This book includes heavy themes related to mental health, grief, identity, and coping with trauma. This book is only intended for readers 18 and up.
- GenresM M RomanceSecond Chance
399 pages, Kindle Edition
Published September 29, 2026
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 62 reviews
September 26, 2026
6⭐️
Someone hold my hand, this book broke me but healed me at the same time.
This story will be one of those I’m never going to forget, i was simply captivated by this story, I felt so many emotions, I was crying I was sweating but most of all I fell in love with the characters Lolly and Bailey but I also fell in love with this whole book itself.
I couldn’t stop crying and shaking. I had to keep paying and I devoured this book as well doing all this. I didn’t want it to end, I was captivated by this book and the writing, it flowed so well and it portrayed so many real world experiences and feeling And it just made me feel every single emotion and I just can’t get enough. I cried so hard when I finished I Don’t ever want to let them go.
The time jumps in this book to me felt it was needed especially after what happens…. But even though the time part happened Their love was a tether it was bound to bring them back together. And that part alone was so powerful and cute to watch them come back together.
This book really shed light on that grief never goes away and it can come back out of nowhere and all the feelings and emotions and more will be there and you just have to love your person through it. Love can help guide got where you can feel safe and loving someone through the grief and pain can be so powerful. Love matters in so many ways and especially in grief it can make a difference. This aspect alone was so beautiful and it touched my heart more ways than one
For this being a debut novel this is one of the best debuts I’ve read. It had so many moments where I couldn’t stop crying because it touched my heart in more ways than one. Bailey my baby boy his journey of recovery from addiction and etc and then both Bailey and lolly going through life through all the pain, the grief the trauma these beautiful souls found each other, they learned to love they experienced hardships but also they learned how to live live through all the hardships that life gives us. But they simply were always meant to be. There was always that connection that they had that fate always drew them together and it was beautifully crafted their love their story but also the way this book talked about addiction and recovery and grief and growing through life and learning to love yourself and etc, this book means so much to me.
Their relationship is one I’m never going to forget, Bailey and Lolly are and forever will be apart of me. These boys deserve the world, my radiant lights I’m so happy they found each other over and over again. This love story was more than that it was a real life example of how finding your person really helps you get through the hardest days and that you should never give up, you matter you are enough, you are loved even if it never feels like it but you do. This book really showed so many emotions and feelings and experiences that are going to relate to people and this book did such a wonderful job giving a book to people that may relate and make them feel seen in so many ways
To Bea Lyle I’m so proud of you in every shape and form I was there throughout your journey of this beautiful story and seeing it all come together ughh this book means more to me than you would ever know. I’m so proud of you , you did it you have created a book that will forever be loved in my heart but I know it’s going to forever be loved by everyone too. Never give up, keep shining my radiant friend, you deserve the world and thank you for giving me and everyone Lolly and Bailey.
🍭💜😭💋 🍭💜😭💋 🍭💜😭💋 🍭💜😭💋🍭💜
Favorite Quotes + Scenes:
⭐️
“You like me on my knees for you, green eyes?”
“God, yes.”
I fucking mean it. Seeing this beautiful man kneeling before me is unlike anything I’ve ever witnessed.
⭐️
How can anyone be expected to say goodbye when the hello is still so beautiful?
⭐️
-I want to stay here forever. With him. Ascending. My maestro, my Lolly.
⭐️Tell me your story, green eyes. Let me re-write the ending
⭐️
Kiss me like it’s been years since you were last able to breathe. Kiss me like you’re feeling what I’m feeling right now because I can’t stand another fucking second of it.”
“Green eyes, you were always everywhere. In every sunset, in every song. Everywhere.”
“I want to breathe again,”
🍭💜😭💋 🍭💜😭💋 🍭💜😭💋 🍭💜😭💋🍭💜
⭐️
“I want you,”
“I want all of you, Lolly. The sunsets and the rain. I want to carry your pain with you, beside you. To celebrate you and support you in every way that you’ll let me.”
“I want to be a soft place for you to land. And I need you to know that I’m not afraid of this—of what we have. I want to hold your hand when you need to watch the planes fly over.”
“I want your laughter and your tears. Your darkness and your light, I want it all Bailey”
⭐️
I didn’t realize how much I’ve missed this. Missed him. But I feel it now. That emptiness I couldn’t place that followed me everywhere? It’s gone. He’s the missing piece and I’ve been trudging through life without it. He’s my tether, my stronghold, and I was so lost without him that I didn’t even notice.
⭐️
He tastes like home. Like everything I forgot to look for when he wasn’t around. He’s all the beauty I’ve missed, all the good I’ve overlooked.
🍭💜😭💋 🍭💜😭💋 🍭💜😭💋 🍭💜😭💋🍭💜
⭐️
“I’ve got you angel.”
“Thank you”
I hope he knows he doesn’t have to say a word. That it’s okay for him to need me. It’s okay to let me love him in this way. That I would do it a thousand times over. Love him when he’s broken, with the same heart that loves him when he’s putting me back together.
🍭💜😭💋 🍭💜😭💋 🍭💜😭💋 🍭💜😭💋🍭💜
⭐️
I want him. Crave him. Miss him when he’s not with me.
“Green eyes, What have you done to me?”
⭐️
I feel his kiss everywhere. It’s in my lungs, in my mind, under my skin, and in the air I breathe. His hands on my back feel so steadfast it’s liberating. I don’t have to be anything for him. I don’t have to be strong, there’s no pressure to be anything or anyone in this moment. It’s perfect.
The smile on his lips pulls the breath from my lungs. I want to always see that smile. Always be the reason.
Someone hold my hand, this book broke me but healed me at the same time.
This story will be one of those I’m never going to forget, i was simply captivated by this story, I felt so many emotions, I was crying I was sweating but most of all I fell in love with the characters Lolly and Bailey but I also fell in love with this whole book itself.
I couldn’t stop crying and shaking. I had to keep paying and I devoured this book as well doing all this. I didn’t want it to end, I was captivated by this book and the writing, it flowed so well and it portrayed so many real world experiences and feeling And it just made me feel every single emotion and I just can’t get enough. I cried so hard when I finished I Don’t ever want to let them go.
The time jumps in this book to me felt it was needed especially after what happens…. But even though the time part happened Their love was a tether it was bound to bring them back together. And that part alone was so powerful and cute to watch them come back together.
This book really shed light on that grief never goes away and it can come back out of nowhere and all the feelings and emotions and more will be there and you just have to love your person through it. Love can help guide got where you can feel safe and loving someone through the grief and pain can be so powerful. Love matters in so many ways and especially in grief it can make a difference. This aspect alone was so beautiful and it touched my heart more ways than one
For this being a debut novel this is one of the best debuts I’ve read. It had so many moments where I couldn’t stop crying because it touched my heart in more ways than one. Bailey my baby boy his journey of recovery from addiction and etc and then both Bailey and lolly going through life through all the pain, the grief the trauma these beautiful souls found each other, they learned to love they experienced hardships but also they learned how to live live through all the hardships that life gives us. But they simply were always meant to be. There was always that connection that they had that fate always drew them together and it was beautifully crafted their love their story but also the way this book talked about addiction and recovery and grief and growing through life and learning to love yourself and etc, this book means so much to me.
Their relationship is one I’m never going to forget, Bailey and Lolly are and forever will be apart of me. These boys deserve the world, my radiant lights I’m so happy they found each other over and over again. This love story was more than that it was a real life example of how finding your person really helps you get through the hardest days and that you should never give up, you matter you are enough, you are loved even if it never feels like it but you do. This book really showed so many emotions and feelings and experiences that are going to relate to people and this book did such a wonderful job giving a book to people that may relate and make them feel seen in so many ways
To Bea Lyle I’m so proud of you in every shape and form I was there throughout your journey of this beautiful story and seeing it all come together ughh this book means more to me than you would ever know. I’m so proud of you , you did it you have created a book that will forever be loved in my heart but I know it’s going to forever be loved by everyone too. Never give up, keep shining my radiant friend, you deserve the world and thank you for giving me and everyone Lolly and Bailey.
🍭💜😭💋 🍭💜😭💋 🍭💜😭💋 🍭💜😭💋🍭💜
Favorite Quotes + Scenes:
⭐️
“You like me on my knees for you, green eyes?”
“God, yes.”
I fucking mean it. Seeing this beautiful man kneeling before me is unlike anything I’ve ever witnessed.
⭐️
How can anyone be expected to say goodbye when the hello is still so beautiful?
⭐️
-I want to stay here forever. With him. Ascending. My maestro, my Lolly.
⭐️Tell me your story, green eyes. Let me re-write the ending
⭐️
Kiss me like it’s been years since you were last able to breathe. Kiss me like you’re feeling what I’m feeling right now because I can’t stand another fucking second of it.”
“Green eyes, you were always everywhere. In every sunset, in every song. Everywhere.”
“I want to breathe again,”
🍭💜😭💋 🍭💜😭💋 🍭💜😭💋 🍭💜😭💋🍭💜
⭐️
“I want you,”
“I want all of you, Lolly. The sunsets and the rain. I want to carry your pain with you, beside you. To celebrate you and support you in every way that you’ll let me.”
“I want to be a soft place for you to land. And I need you to know that I’m not afraid of this—of what we have. I want to hold your hand when you need to watch the planes fly over.”
“I want your laughter and your tears. Your darkness and your light, I want it all Bailey”
⭐️
I didn’t realize how much I’ve missed this. Missed him. But I feel it now. That emptiness I couldn’t place that followed me everywhere? It’s gone. He’s the missing piece and I’ve been trudging through life without it. He’s my tether, my stronghold, and I was so lost without him that I didn’t even notice.
⭐️
He tastes like home. Like everything I forgot to look for when he wasn’t around. He’s all the beauty I’ve missed, all the good I’ve overlooked.
🍭💜😭💋 🍭💜😭💋 🍭💜😭💋 🍭💜😭💋🍭💜
⭐️
“I’ve got you angel.”
“Thank you”
I hope he knows he doesn’t have to say a word. That it’s okay for him to need me. It’s okay to let me love him in this way. That I would do it a thousand times over. Love him when he’s broken, with the same heart that loves him when he’s putting me back together.
🍭💜😭💋 🍭💜😭💋 🍭💜😭💋 🍭💜😭💋🍭💜
⭐️
I want him. Crave him. Miss him when he’s not with me.
“Green eyes, What have you done to me?”
⭐️
I feel his kiss everywhere. It’s in my lungs, in my mind, under my skin, and in the air I breathe. His hands on my back feel so steadfast it’s liberating. I don’t have to be anything for him. I don’t have to be strong, there’s no pressure to be anything or anyone in this moment. It’s perfect.
The smile on his lips pulls the breath from my lungs. I want to always see that smile. Always be the reason.
September 15, 2026
Okay… the only proper way to start this review is to say
5 FREAKING STARS!!! ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
I don’t even know where to begin honestly Lolly and Bailey had me by the throat I couldn’t put this down their story was absolutely emotional and beautiful these beautiful hurting boys were everything! And I’m absolutely a sucker for second chances give me them all!! Lolly and Bailey both just absolutely went through so much my heart just hurt for both of them I just wanted to grab them and hug them so hard! But they were both there in each other’s minds and watching them find each other again was great! And god don’t get me started on Lolly and baileys friends they were the absolute best friends they both could have I was literally crying half the time because of how good their friends were to them!! This whole book I was laughing,crying kicking my feet it was an amazing debut book and you feel and see the hard work and love and vulnerability that was put into it!!i
5 FREAKING STARS!!! ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
I don’t even know where to begin honestly Lolly and Bailey had me by the throat I couldn’t put this down their story was absolutely emotional and beautiful these beautiful hurting boys were everything! And I’m absolutely a sucker for second chances give me them all!! Lolly and Bailey both just absolutely went through so much my heart just hurt for both of them I just wanted to grab them and hug them so hard! But they were both there in each other’s minds and watching them find each other again was great! And god don’t get me started on Lolly and baileys friends they were the absolute best friends they both could have I was literally crying half the time because of how good their friends were to them!! This whole book I was laughing,crying kicking my feet it was an amazing debut book and you feel and see the hard work and love and vulnerability that was put into it!!i
September 14, 2026
ARC REVIEW: 6 ⭐️ PERFECTION
This book made me cry actual tears A LOT OF THEM! And coming from a anti-depressie baddie not a lot can conjure that much emotion from me 😅😩
This second chance romance is extremely devastating and achingly beautiful and my only regret is not reading it slower because I'm not ready for it to be over 😭 These broken boys finding love and healing together despite all odds and tragedy will warm your heart in a way that feels like home.
Lolly recovering from his own trauma and grief meets Bailey a clumsy adorable nerd at a party. Bailey quickly discovers he's not as straight as he thought he was. They are magnetized and go all in, that is until a family member discovers them and Bailey pushes Lolly away. Both never really recover from the loss but move on nonetheless. Bailey experiences a devastating loss in his life leading him to escape in the only way he knows how, alcohol. Yet despite it all they always find their way back to each other, real life soulmates. They find family and healing together ❤️🩹
As a person in recovery from addiction and a person who has had to bury way too many friends this story left me raw and exposed in a way that I didn't know I needed. I'd been feeling pretty numb lately and this book cut through the indifference, forcing me to endure the pain, to remind me I am alive. To remind me of the gift of love and recovery. 🥹
This book made me cry actual tears A LOT OF THEM! And coming from a anti-depressie baddie not a lot can conjure that much emotion from me 😅😩
This second chance romance is extremely devastating and achingly beautiful and my only regret is not reading it slower because I'm not ready for it to be over 😭 These broken boys finding love and healing together despite all odds and tragedy will warm your heart in a way that feels like home.
Lolly recovering from his own trauma and grief meets Bailey a clumsy adorable nerd at a party. Bailey quickly discovers he's not as straight as he thought he was. They are magnetized and go all in, that is until a family member discovers them and Bailey pushes Lolly away. Both never really recover from the loss but move on nonetheless. Bailey experiences a devastating loss in his life leading him to escape in the only way he knows how, alcohol. Yet despite it all they always find their way back to each other, real life soulmates. They find family and healing together ❤️🩹
As a person in recovery from addiction and a person who has had to bury way too many friends this story left me raw and exposed in a way that I didn't know I needed. I'd been feeling pretty numb lately and this book cut through the indifference, forcing me to endure the pain, to remind me I am alive. To remind me of the gift of love and recovery. 🥹
Review of advance copy received from Author
Prepare to have every feeling experienced in this book. Does it give you a cute second chance love story. Yes. Does it give the spice and heat? Yes. But it's also going to touch on the real, raw and emotional side of things that people go through. This story combines the light and dark of love and life and tears you apart. But then it puts you back together in the best way. I appreciated the book being in two parts. I feel it added to the story in that format because we do get a time jump so in the end it all fits beautifully. This is a debut book from the author, but it didn't read like a debut. It earns its spot in my recommendations list. For those needing a cute and sometimes heartbreaking read, this one is for you.
Review of advance copy received from Author
💙💙💙 ARC Review 💙💙💙
Thank you to the author for this ARC.
5/5 ⭐️
3/5 🌶
This book was a total rollercoaster of events and feelings and I was there for all of it. A beautiful, lovely story of loss, grief, growth, low lows and high highs, second chances, religious repression and so much love. Bea delivers a stunning debut!
Bailey and Lolly are so cute and so beautiful together. Between the two of them Lolly is definitely the rock and he is so gentle and reassuring with Bailey. At the same time Bailey goes through a journey of growth which felt authentic and powerful. The addiction rep was very well done. At the end of the day, this is a story about the power of love and the resilience of the human spirit.
Funny story: I picked this up without remembering the tropes and was hit with each one like a hammer - bam, second chance, bam hurt/comfort, bam, addiction rep. That's truly the way to read this.
10/10 Would recommend!!!
Thank you to the author for this ARC.
5/5 ⭐️
3/5 🌶
This book was a total rollercoaster of events and feelings and I was there for all of it. A beautiful, lovely story of loss, grief, growth, low lows and high highs, second chances, religious repression and so much love. Bea delivers a stunning debut!
Bailey and Lolly are so cute and so beautiful together. Between the two of them Lolly is definitely the rock and he is so gentle and reassuring with Bailey. At the same time Bailey goes through a journey of growth which felt authentic and powerful. The addiction rep was very well done. At the end of the day, this is a story about the power of love and the resilience of the human spirit.
Funny story: I picked this up without remembering the tropes and was hit with each one like a hammer - bam, second chance, bam hurt/comfort, bam, addiction rep. That's truly the way to read this.
10/10 Would recommend!!!
Review of advance copy received from Author
I had the absolute pleasure of doing a beta read of this book which I received from the author. I have so many amazing things to say about this book and will write a more in depth review soon. I am floored by the beauty and depth of this story and of Lolly & Bailey. Please do yourself a favor and put this on your TBR immediately
- Second Chance
- Addiction Rep
- Bi-awakening
- Found Family
- Mental Health rep
- Second Chance
- Addiction Rep
- Bi-awakening
- Found Family
- Mental Health rep
September 20, 2026
This is a 6 star!!!!! Oh my god I went and read reviews before I read it so I was scared but oh my god this was insane! This story will wreck your emotions but put you back together!
This is the story of Bailey and Lolly
Their meet cute was adorable! Lolly is out and proud but Bailey is straight! But Bailey spills a drink on Lolly at a party and they kiss! But Bailey freaks out and runs! Lolly is patient though he doesn’t know but Bailey is from a very conservative family! They start their relationship in secret of course but they see consumed with each other they can’t get enough! They are so happy at like 30% so you know the pain is coming LOL when he’s seen by his cousin he pushes Lolly away and then his dad has a heart attack and he pushes him further!
Bailey poor Bailey goes through so much grief and loss and then his alcohol problems
Lollys past is awful he’s lost his sister in a accident and he’s now dealing with his mom with dementia and it’s heartbreaking to see him deal with it all
So these broken trauma filled boys had so much against them
Baileys loss lollys trauma baileys recovery Lolly almost losing him when he overdosed it was so much!
There’s a time jump but I feel like it was needed
Lolly is taking care of his mom and Bailey is working as a pharmacist and what do you know Lolly walks into the pharmacy to get things for his mom!
The spark the intensity is still there! Lolly gets to see his green eyes again!
The love they had didn’t die it festered until they could see each other again!
These boys went through hell to get back to each other and it was worth the tears honestly! They were so happy to see each other Bailey with his slutty little glasses and Lolly with his wings!
I was worried about Bailey’s family truly but they accepted Lolly and his mom thanked him for saving Bailey!
Ugh I loved them so much it was such a beautiful story! Don’t worry we get plenty of spice with our heartbreak!
This is the story of Bailey and Lolly
Their meet cute was adorable! Lolly is out and proud but Bailey is straight! But Bailey spills a drink on Lolly at a party and they kiss! But Bailey freaks out and runs! Lolly is patient though he doesn’t know but Bailey is from a very conservative family! They start their relationship in secret of course but they see consumed with each other they can’t get enough! They are so happy at like 30% so you know the pain is coming LOL when he’s seen by his cousin he pushes Lolly away and then his dad has a heart attack and he pushes him further!
Bailey poor Bailey goes through so much grief and loss and then his alcohol problems
Lollys past is awful he’s lost his sister in a accident and he’s now dealing with his mom with dementia and it’s heartbreaking to see him deal with it all
So these broken trauma filled boys had so much against them
Baileys loss lollys trauma baileys recovery Lolly almost losing him when he overdosed it was so much!
There’s a time jump but I feel like it was needed
Lolly is taking care of his mom and Bailey is working as a pharmacist and what do you know Lolly walks into the pharmacy to get things for his mom!
The spark the intensity is still there! Lolly gets to see his green eyes again!
The love they had didn’t die it festered until they could see each other again!
These boys went through hell to get back to each other and it was worth the tears honestly! They were so happy to see each other Bailey with his slutty little glasses and Lolly with his wings!
I was worried about Bailey’s family truly but they accepted Lolly and his mom thanked him for saving Bailey!
Ugh I loved them so much it was such a beautiful story! Don’t worry we get plenty of spice with our heartbreak!
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
Read
September 26, 2026RTC
Review of advance copy received from Author
I was a husk by the end of this I cried so much!
This emotionally destroyed me! What do you mean Bailey went through all of that?!
The love and connection between a lolly and Bailey was beautiful. I adored the reverence Lolly had for Bailey. His kindness and patience with him was wonderful.
And Bailey. That man went through it! Nats death was heartbreaking and then the alcoholism. And don’t get me started on Peyton because I’ll just go on a tirade of swear words!
Beautiful story but my god I need a cuddle and someone to stroke my hair after reading.
This emotionally destroyed me! What do you mean Bailey went through all of that?!
The love and connection between a lolly and Bailey was beautiful. I adored the reverence Lolly had for Bailey. His kindness and patience with him was wonderful.
And Bailey. That man went through it! Nats death was heartbreaking and then the alcoholism. And don’t get me started on Peyton because I’ll just go on a tirade of swear words!
Beautiful story but my god I need a cuddle and someone to stroke my hair after reading.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
September 4, 2026
Oh my god this was a journey!
Lolly and Bailey go through so much and it was beautiful (if at times painful) to watch their story and love grow!
This book touches on a lot of hard topics so check your TW’s but I highly suggest you take the time to give these beautiful broken boys a chance!
This is a debut by Bea and you can tell she writes from personal experience and from the heart and it shows!
I laughed, I cried, I giggled and kicked my feet and even hurt a little but in the best way!
Each of these boys has their own demons to face and when together everything seems to fade away for them! It’s beautiful ❤️
Thank you Bea for the ARC!
Lolly and Bailey go through so much and it was beautiful (if at times painful) to watch their story and love grow!
This book touches on a lot of hard topics so check your TW’s but I highly suggest you take the time to give these beautiful broken boys a chance!
This is a debut by Bea and you can tell she writes from personal experience and from the heart and it shows!
I laughed, I cried, I giggled and kicked my feet and even hurt a little but in the best way!
Each of these boys has their own demons to face and when together everything seems to fade away for them! It’s beautiful ❤️
Thank you Bea for the ARC!
Review of advance copy received from Author
SCREAMING, CRYING, SOBBING OH MY GOSH 😭 Every second of this book had me in a GRIP. Bailey and Lolly's story broke my heart and somehow put it back together multiple times. I don't think I will EVER get over these two; both Bailey and Lolly felt so raw and real. I loved how neither of them was 'perfect' and that they both had their own struggles. BAILEY is the SWEETEST soul ever. I loved how shy he became around Lolly and his inner monologue when they were together was everything 🥹 And Lolly?! I loved how understanding, patient, and attentive he was towards Bailey. They balanced each other SOSOSO well and together are perfect.
I also LOVED the side characters; Nat (still crying😭), Jay, Jinx, all of them! Bailey and Lolly both have some of the sweetest and most supportive friends. I loved seeing how much love and support surrounded them. There was so much happening in both of their lives and reading about how everything unfolded was heartwarming and heartbreaking at the same time. There were so many moments where my heart just hurt for them, but seeing them finally get their HEA after everything they went through was so worth it. Bailey and Lolly truly felt like two halves of the same puzzle. Bailey needed Lolly, and Lolly needed Bailey, and watching them find that missing piece and completeness in each other was EVERYTHING. I was hurting alongside them and cried multiple times throughout the book!
Bea Lyle really made me feel SO MUCH from this book. I laughed, screamed, hurt, cried, sobbed, and I genuinely cannot recommend Lolly enough. Just make sure you have enough tissues nearby because you WILL need them. Thank you so much, Bea Lyle, for the ARC! I'm soosososoos grateful I got to read about Bailey and Lolly ❣️
I also LOVED the side characters; Nat (still crying😭), Jay, Jinx, all of them! Bailey and Lolly both have some of the sweetest and most supportive friends. I loved seeing how much love and support surrounded them. There was so much happening in both of their lives and reading about how everything unfolded was heartwarming and heartbreaking at the same time. There were so many moments where my heart just hurt for them, but seeing them finally get their HEA after everything they went through was so worth it. Bailey and Lolly truly felt like two halves of the same puzzle. Bailey needed Lolly, and Lolly needed Bailey, and watching them find that missing piece and completeness in each other was EVERYTHING. I was hurting alongside them and cried multiple times throughout the book!
Bea Lyle really made me feel SO MUCH from this book. I laughed, screamed, hurt, cried, sobbed, and I genuinely cannot recommend Lolly enough. Just make sure you have enough tissues nearby because you WILL need them. Thank you so much, Bea Lyle, for the ARC! I'm soosososoos grateful I got to read about Bailey and Lolly ❣️
October 10, 2026
The snarky humor in this book was actually pretty good, but the writing is WAY too dragged out. The plot is definitely not worth this page count.
Review of advance copy received from Author
Well, I would first like to say I went in blind on this read. And I really was having the BEST time reading this! Lolly and Bailey really are meant to be together. Zero doubts. AS IT TURNS OUT.... the "WHEN" they are meant to be together is the question. And I was not ready for that. The perfect story crumbled to into some serious healing needs. I am giving this 5 stars, but full disclosure, I did not see that plot development occurring. - SO checking triggers would be a good tip.
I loved the author's humor. You could tell that pulled through into the book, because the funny parts were GENUINELY funny! Like laugh out loud funny. The Spice was SPICY!!! Like "suck it out of his hole and kiss me" spicy. Thank you for that gem of a scene! 🥵🥵🥵
These boys absolutely loved each other and that was never in question. Some darker topics were tackled, and it was nice to lean on that.... despite the significant timeline spanning through this book. This was a great introduction to Bea Lyle.
I loved the author's humor. You could tell that pulled through into the book, because the funny parts were GENUINELY funny! Like laugh out loud funny. The Spice was SPICY!!! Like "suck it out of his hole and kiss me" spicy. Thank you for that gem of a scene! 🥵🥵🥵
These boys absolutely loved each other and that was never in question. Some darker topics were tackled, and it was nice to lean on that.... despite the significant timeline spanning through this book. This was a great introduction to Bea Lyle.
Review of advance copy received from Author
I had the honor and privilege to get in early with the development of this story and watch Bea do their magic. I will be fully reviewing this masterpiece of a book soon but, I am aware already from everything I've read from Bea and all the work put into this story, that it's five stars.
It's what makes the exchange of oxygen and carbon dioxide worth it. Art like this!!
It's what makes the exchange of oxygen and carbon dioxide worth it. Art like this!!
Review of advance copy received from Author
This book brought out all the emotions. It’s heavy. It’s dark. It’s sad. But it’s hopeful. It’s light at the end of a very dark tunnel. It’s finding yourself. It’s learning to love yourself before you can love someone else. It’s growth. It’s learning to live and find love even during times of immense grief.
Lolly and Bailey were so beautiful together. They were both smitten with each other at first glance.
Bailey: “Those wings, that voice, those shoulders. I am cooked.”
Lolly: “Oh green eyes, you’re going to be trouble.”
🤭🤭🤭
Even though they go through so much, those feelings just never waiver. Even as time and circumstance keep them apart. They were just meant to be 🥹🥹
Bea - thank you so much for this ARC. A gorgeous debut. A lovely story of resilience and never giving up and true love ❤️
Lolly and Bailey were so beautiful together. They were both smitten with each other at first glance.
Bailey: “Those wings, that voice, those shoulders. I am cooked.”
Lolly: “Oh green eyes, you’re going to be trouble.”
🤭🤭🤭
Even though they go through so much, those feelings just never waiver. Even as time and circumstance keep them apart. They were just meant to be 🥹🥹
Bea - thank you so much for this ARC. A gorgeous debut. A lovely story of resilience and never giving up and true love ❤️
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
Review of advance copy
LOLLY FOREVER!!!
I've read Lolly THREE TIMES now, and somehow this book still has the gall to emotionally destroy me every single time. At first, I was just swooning over Lolly and Bailey. Their connection, their humor, their completely different personalities, and the undeniable sparks between them had me smiling like an idiot. I was having a wonderful time!
Apparently Bea saw that and said, "Oh, you're happy?" Because NOTHING about the beginning of this book prepared me for the amount of angst I was about to experience. THE TEARS I CRIED?! Every time I thought the pain was finally over, HERE CAME ANOTHER WAVE. Reading this book emotionally felt like getting hit by a wave, coming up gasping for air, and before you can even breathe - BAM! ANOTHER ONE. The YEARNING? The time apart, plus feelings that never truly went away? Watching everything finally pour out after being held inside for so long?! I FELT IT. Oh man, and when I reached that climax and I was SOBBING. But was Bea finished with me? NO. She picked up a BRICK and threw it directly at my chest with THAT LINE Lolly said to Bailey. AND DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THE GREEN EYES. Bailey's Lolly's green eyes. STOP IT RIGHT NOW.
You ever hear people say an HEA was earned? THIS. THIS IS WHAT THEY MEAN. Lolly and Bailey went through so much to get to their happily ever after that even when they finally got there, I was suspicious. I was sitting there like, "Okay...what else is going to happen? Bea? BEA?!"
But they made it. Que happy dance! Their love was messy. It was painful and raw. But it was devastatingly beautiful. Bea didn't sugarcoat their trauma or everything these two had to work through. She allowed me to see the ugly, complicated, vulnerable parts of their journey. And somehow, through all of it, these two found their way back to each other. That's what stayed with me. Underneath all the angst and heartbreak is a story about two people who loved each other through some incredibly difficult things and still found their way home.
I've read Lolly three times because that's how deeply this story affected me. Lolly and Bailey are going to stay in my heart for YEARS, and I already know I'm going to remain ridiculously obsessed with them. Bea, YOU COOKED WITH THIS ONE.
I genuinely believe the world needs to read this story because somewhere out there, someone is going to see themselves in Lolly or Bailey. Someone is going to understand their pain. Someone is going to find comfort in watching these two messy, hurting people realize they are still worthy of love and happiness.
Beautiful, devastating, emotional, messy, and completely unforgettable.
LOLLY. FREAKING. FOREVER.
I've read Lolly THREE TIMES now, and somehow this book still has the gall to emotionally destroy me every single time. At first, I was just swooning over Lolly and Bailey. Their connection, their humor, their completely different personalities, and the undeniable sparks between them had me smiling like an idiot. I was having a wonderful time!
Apparently Bea saw that and said, "Oh, you're happy?" Because NOTHING about the beginning of this book prepared me for the amount of angst I was about to experience. THE TEARS I CRIED?! Every time I thought the pain was finally over, HERE CAME ANOTHER WAVE. Reading this book emotionally felt like getting hit by a wave, coming up gasping for air, and before you can even breathe - BAM! ANOTHER ONE. The YEARNING? The time apart, plus feelings that never truly went away? Watching everything finally pour out after being held inside for so long?! I FELT IT. Oh man, and when I reached that climax and I was SOBBING. But was Bea finished with me? NO. She picked up a BRICK and threw it directly at my chest with THAT LINE Lolly said to Bailey. AND DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THE GREEN EYES. Bailey's Lolly's green eyes. STOP IT RIGHT NOW.
You ever hear people say an HEA was earned? THIS. THIS IS WHAT THEY MEAN. Lolly and Bailey went through so much to get to their happily ever after that even when they finally got there, I was suspicious. I was sitting there like, "Okay...what else is going to happen? Bea? BEA?!"
But they made it. Que happy dance! Their love was messy. It was painful and raw. But it was devastatingly beautiful. Bea didn't sugarcoat their trauma or everything these two had to work through. She allowed me to see the ugly, complicated, vulnerable parts of their journey. And somehow, through all of it, these two found their way back to each other. That's what stayed with me. Underneath all the angst and heartbreak is a story about two people who loved each other through some incredibly difficult things and still found their way home.
I've read Lolly three times because that's how deeply this story affected me. Lolly and Bailey are going to stay in my heart for YEARS, and I already know I'm going to remain ridiculously obsessed with them. Bea, YOU COOKED WITH THIS ONE.
I genuinely believe the world needs to read this story because somewhere out there, someone is going to see themselves in Lolly or Bailey. Someone is going to understand their pain. Someone is going to find comfort in watching these two messy, hurting people realize they are still worthy of love and happiness.
Beautiful, devastating, emotional, messy, and completely unforgettable.
LOLLY. FREAKING. FOREVER.
Review of advance copy received from Author
This story is so beautiful and so emotional. You wouldn't know this was Bea's debut novel with how good it is! Lolly and Bailey really stole my heart from the get go. I had the great honor of being a beta reader and it was so amazing to watch this story grow and turn into the amazing journey it now is! Also a nice perk to have your name in the book 😉
Bailey meets Lolly at a party one night and accidently spills his drink on him. Lolly, being the patient and kind man he is, brushed it off and was instantly drawn to Bailey. They end up kissing and Bailey discovers he isn't so straight after all. Neither one of them can stay away from one another after that, but because Bailey is scared of what his family and others will think, he keeps Lolly a secret.
When they are caught kissing by Bailey's cousin, this is when things go down hill. Bailey freaks and shuts Lolly out. Both of them go through some very personal heartaches and don't speak again for another two years. Bailey really goes through it and becomes addicted to alcohol. Watching him struggle was so heartbreaking. It took them a bit of time to find each other again, but once they did, it is very clear their story was never over. This book will put you through all the emotions, but will also heal you by the end.
Bailey meets Lolly at a party one night and accidently spills his drink on him. Lolly, being the patient and kind man he is, brushed it off and was instantly drawn to Bailey. They end up kissing and Bailey discovers he isn't so straight after all. Neither one of them can stay away from one another after that, but because Bailey is scared of what his family and others will think, he keeps Lolly a secret.
When they are caught kissing by Bailey's cousin, this is when things go down hill. Bailey freaks and shuts Lolly out. Both of them go through some very personal heartaches and don't speak again for another two years. Bailey really goes through it and becomes addicted to alcohol. Watching him struggle was so heartbreaking. It took them a bit of time to find each other again, but once they did, it is very clear their story was never over. This book will put you through all the emotions, but will also heal you by the end.
Review of advance copy received from Author
What a unique and beautiful story! Incredibly strong debut by Bea Lyle.
Lolly is the story of Bailey and Oliver, told over the span of years from their first meeting in undergrad, to the realities of life after university. It follows the two through the struggles of accepting one's sexuality, and the battle of overcoming grief, religious trauma, family illness, and addiction.
I honestly don't know quite how to describe this book. If the spicy scenes were removed, it reads much more like romantic fiction than a traditional romance - there is depth and complexity often absent from traditional romance stories. I enjoyed the story from start to finish, and would happily read hundreds of pages more about these characters. I really hope Bea Lyle continues to write more in this world.
Lolly is the story of Bailey and Oliver, told over the span of years from their first meeting in undergrad, to the realities of life after university. It follows the two through the struggles of accepting one's sexuality, and the battle of overcoming grief, religious trauma, family illness, and addiction.
I honestly don't know quite how to describe this book. If the spicy scenes were removed, it reads much more like romantic fiction than a traditional romance - there is depth and complexity often absent from traditional romance stories. I enjoyed the story from start to finish, and would happily read hundreds of pages more about these characters. I really hope Bea Lyle continues to write more in this world.
Review of advance copy received from Author
I don’t even know how to review this book without emotionally malfunctioning 😭
At first I was reading a really nice story,It had such a day to day life vibe,like …I was just following these characters around seeing what they were doing how they were living and what was happening in their lives.
And honestly I really liked that.
Then around 40%…
Something happened with one of the side characters and I HAD to stop reading and go cry. Because it was such a real world thing. It didn’t feel like I was reading fiction anymore. It felt like I was reading someone’s actual story.
And then everything just changes. You think your problems are big and then something happens and suddenly all your priorities change.
This book has grief, addiction,crying,emotional support and a little hurt/comfort And omg did I mention GRIEF?!😭
There was one quote about addiction that actually broke me:
“Addiction does not discriminate. It does not care who you are. It takes, choosing its victim like the rain chooses to fall.”
LIKE????? 😭
And THEN I messaged the author because I was crying and told them how much this book affected me and how much it means to me, and they told me one of the characters was based on their actual friend.
HELLO????
That made it hit even harder.
This book is HEA so dont worry you will get your happily ever after…
But at what cost???? 😭
Did this book break me? Absolutely.
Did I heal? Debatable.
Did I love this book? Yes.
Did it make me cry? Also yes 😭
Would I still tell you to go read it?
YES.
At first I was reading a really nice story,It had such a day to day life vibe,like …I was just following these characters around seeing what they were doing how they were living and what was happening in their lives.
And honestly I really liked that.
Then around 40%…
Something happened with one of the side characters and I HAD to stop reading and go cry. Because it was such a real world thing. It didn’t feel like I was reading fiction anymore. It felt like I was reading someone’s actual story.
And then everything just changes. You think your problems are big and then something happens and suddenly all your priorities change.
This book has grief, addiction,crying,emotional support and a little hurt/comfort And omg did I mention GRIEF?!😭
There was one quote about addiction that actually broke me:
“Addiction does not discriminate. It does not care who you are. It takes, choosing its victim like the rain chooses to fall.”
LIKE????? 😭
And THEN I messaged the author because I was crying and told them how much this book affected me and how much it means to me, and they told me one of the characters was based on their actual friend.
HELLO????
That made it hit even harder.
This book is HEA so dont worry you will get your happily ever after…
But at what cost???? 😭
Did this book break me? Absolutely.
Did I heal? Debatable.
Did I love this book? Yes.
Did it make me cry? Also yes 😭
Would I still tell you to go read it?
YES.
September 13, 2026
Talk about a series of unfortunately events … I think I knew that this story was going to be tragic when everyone was happy at 30% because certainly that happiness was never going to last. This story is so incredibly heartbreaking but there’s something to be said about a relationship that rebuilds you from the ashes and Lolly and Bailey were literal perfection!
October 13, 2026
A beautiful second-chance romance that packs quite the emotional punch. Definitely an impressive debut. I look forward to seeing what this author has in store for us in the future.
Review of advance copy received from Author
rtc
September 12, 2026
I was lucky enough to get an ARC of this book and it didn’t disappoint.
I loved the connection between Bailey and Lolly from the beginning. Not so insta love, just written so well.
I adored the nerdy, silly banter Bailey has to himself and his friends. Genuinely, made me giggle and read quotes to my husband.
I very rarely cry while reading, but this one got me. I was messaging the author a little and understand the importance of Nat and the loss of this character. How Liam and Bailey survived after her broke my heart. I know we only dive into Bailey, but when Liam’s comment about him and Nat being married by now… absolutely lost it. I would love a story for Liam, perhaps with a cutie pink haired person.
Jay is an interesting character too that I’d like to dive into. I must admit Jay and Jinx confused me at the start, but I understand the need for them both 100%.
I’m looking forward to more reads by this author. The spice to emotion was perfect for me and I genuinely devoured in a day. Thanks so much!
I loved the connection between Bailey and Lolly from the beginning. Not so insta love, just written so well.
I adored the nerdy, silly banter Bailey has to himself and his friends. Genuinely, made me giggle and read quotes to my husband.
I very rarely cry while reading, but this one got me. I was messaging the author a little and understand the importance of Nat and the loss of this character. How Liam and Bailey survived after her broke my heart. I know we only dive into Bailey, but when Liam’s comment about him and Nat being married by now… absolutely lost it. I would love a story for Liam, perhaps with a cutie pink haired person.
Jay is an interesting character too that I’d like to dive into. I must admit Jay and Jinx confused me at the start, but I understand the need for them both 100%.
I’m looking forward to more reads by this author. The spice to emotion was perfect for me and I genuinely devoured in a day. Thanks so much!
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
Review of advance copy received from Author
✨ARC Review✨
⭐️ 4.75/5
🌶️ 3.5/5
Main characters: Bailey & Lolly
Side characters: Nat, Liam, Jay, Jinx
Page count: 504
First person, dual POV.
Such a gorgeous and devastating debut novel. The absolute passion and soul deep connection Bailey and Lolly shared was everything. They went through so much. There is a lot of pain and devastation, and so many lessons learned in this book. Bailey needed growth but there was a broken path before him. He struggled, he suffered, and in the end he needed to figure out what he was living for. And then there’s Lolly, who is such an amazing character. Truly one of the more unique characters I have read about in a long time. He had a presence that felt very grounding and steadying but he also felt ethereal in many ways. I loved the descriptions of his style and how he chose to express himself through his appearance. Picturing the two of them together was amazing because I don’t think they physically could have been more different from each other. But I think that’s part of why they worked. They were so different from each other that they were absolutely fascinated and obsessed.
There was also a cast of wonderfully supportive side characters in this book. Bailey and Lolly both had a few fiercely loyal and protective best friends in their lives. These relationships were crucial, not only to the storyline, but also to both of their sanities. I loved these relationships and felt these characters were incredibly vibrant and special.
I can’t recommend this enough! Definitely be prepared to have your heart shredded! 🤍
⭐️ 4.75/5
🌶️ 3.5/5
Main characters: Bailey & Lolly
Side characters: Nat, Liam, Jay, Jinx
Page count: 504
First person, dual POV.
Such a gorgeous and devastating debut novel. The absolute passion and soul deep connection Bailey and Lolly shared was everything. They went through so much. There is a lot of pain and devastation, and so many lessons learned in this book. Bailey needed growth but there was a broken path before him. He struggled, he suffered, and in the end he needed to figure out what he was living for. And then there’s Lolly, who is such an amazing character. Truly one of the more unique characters I have read about in a long time. He had a presence that felt very grounding and steadying but he also felt ethereal in many ways. I loved the descriptions of his style and how he chose to express himself through his appearance. Picturing the two of them together was amazing because I don’t think they physically could have been more different from each other. But I think that’s part of why they worked. They were so different from each other that they were absolutely fascinated and obsessed.
There was also a cast of wonderfully supportive side characters in this book. Bailey and Lolly both had a few fiercely loyal and protective best friends in their lives. These relationships were crucial, not only to the storyline, but also to both of their sanities. I loved these relationships and felt these characters were incredibly vibrant and special.
I can’t recommend this enough! Definitely be prepared to have your heart shredded! 🤍
Review of advance copy received from Author
Lolly is devastatingly beautiful. It does not pull punches or shy away from the ugly and broken parts of being alive. It is rooted deeply in what makes us most human - devastation, pain, love, and wonder. Bea Lyle understands that we cannot fully live without loss, that joy and grief are not enemies but rather light and shadow - both of which are required for any true depth or meaning.
For me, Lolly is broken into two distinct halves: Before and After.
The Before represented youth, innocence, naïveté, hope, immaturity, being driven by other people's ideas and expectations of us, and the blissful ignorance that many of us carry before our first encounter with real grief.
And After is where our scars live, the marks left on us once we've been touched by darkness. The After is what we do with life once we've been broken. This is where courage asks us whether we are brave enough to be vulnerable once we know the true cost of loss and heartbreak.
Both can contain laughter and love, slutty glasses and angel wings, touch and friendship but what they mean and how we carry them are different in the Before versus in the After. We can only truly know ourselves once we've grappled with the shadows.
Bailey and Oliver (Lolly) have lived very different lives. Lolly has already been touched by tragedy when we meet him; his sense of self is strong and hard won, the losses he has endured are unimaginable. Through that, we see ways he's chosen beauty and love and hope despite the pain and suffering. His soul is bright and beautiful, and the confidence he carries is what undoes Bailey from moment one. In the Before, Bailey has not yet met himself. He has a soft spirit littered with uncertainty. He is immediately drawn to Lolly without understanding why.
Their chemistry is immediate and undeniable. I wanted that love to be enough. We all do when it's young and new. But life usually has other plans, and such is the case for these two.
When the unimaginable happens (and f**k does it hurt), we are plunged into grief and its frequent companion, addiction. As a therapist who often works with people who experience addiction, Bea Lyle shows us how adaptive it can be to reach for that next drink or that next pill when the pain is bigger than our body can hold. When the pain makes breathing feel impossible, another sip, another drag might be the only thing that gets us to the next breath, the next heartbeat. Sometimes we only survive BECAUSE of addiction, but there is a cost and inevitably the thing that kept us alive becomes the thing that's killing us.
None of us escape this life without being touched by loss, and Lolly (the book) is, at its core, about the inseparable twins, love and grief. I will forever remember Bailey's friend Liam guiding Bailey to his house, keeping him on the phone and catching Bailey when he collapses (I fell in love with Liam in that moment). I will remember Jay fighting for what Oliver deserves - someone who celebrates him loudly and unapologetically. I will remember the mothers who raised these men and the power of a mother's love. And of course, I will remember Master Beto the goldfish - he's pretty awesome for a goldfish.
And yes, there's a lot of spice in Lolly both early on and later in the book. Especially later in the book - WOW. I imagine those were some sore holes and throats there at the end. It's pretty high heat and satisfyingly so.
But the beauty of this story is in the different ways we can let love in, even after we've been broken. That beauty and pleasure and joy and awe can exist alongside suffering, loss, heartbreak, and regret. That we do not have to choose, but instead we can increase our capacity to feel it all, and its all the better when we don't have to do it alone.
For me, Lolly is broken into two distinct halves: Before and After.
The Before represented youth, innocence, naïveté, hope, immaturity, being driven by other people's ideas and expectations of us, and the blissful ignorance that many of us carry before our first encounter with real grief.
And After is where our scars live, the marks left on us once we've been touched by darkness. The After is what we do with life once we've been broken. This is where courage asks us whether we are brave enough to be vulnerable once we know the true cost of loss and heartbreak.
Both can contain laughter and love, slutty glasses and angel wings, touch and friendship but what they mean and how we carry them are different in the Before versus in the After. We can only truly know ourselves once we've grappled with the shadows.
Bailey and Oliver (Lolly) have lived very different lives. Lolly has already been touched by tragedy when we meet him; his sense of self is strong and hard won, the losses he has endured are unimaginable. Through that, we see ways he's chosen beauty and love and hope despite the pain and suffering. His soul is bright and beautiful, and the confidence he carries is what undoes Bailey from moment one. In the Before, Bailey has not yet met himself. He has a soft spirit littered with uncertainty. He is immediately drawn to Lolly without understanding why.
Their chemistry is immediate and undeniable. I wanted that love to be enough. We all do when it's young and new. But life usually has other plans, and such is the case for these two.
When the unimaginable happens (and f**k does it hurt), we are plunged into grief and its frequent companion, addiction. As a therapist who often works with people who experience addiction, Bea Lyle shows us how adaptive it can be to reach for that next drink or that next pill when the pain is bigger than our body can hold. When the pain makes breathing feel impossible, another sip, another drag might be the only thing that gets us to the next breath, the next heartbeat. Sometimes we only survive BECAUSE of addiction, but there is a cost and inevitably the thing that kept us alive becomes the thing that's killing us.
None of us escape this life without being touched by loss, and Lolly (the book) is, at its core, about the inseparable twins, love and grief. I will forever remember Bailey's friend Liam guiding Bailey to his house, keeping him on the phone and catching Bailey when he collapses (I fell in love with Liam in that moment). I will remember Jay fighting for what Oliver deserves - someone who celebrates him loudly and unapologetically. I will remember the mothers who raised these men and the power of a mother's love. And of course, I will remember Master Beto the goldfish - he's pretty awesome for a goldfish.
And yes, there's a lot of spice in Lolly both early on and later in the book. Especially later in the book - WOW. I imagine those were some sore holes and throats there at the end. It's pretty high heat and satisfyingly so.
But the beauty of this story is in the different ways we can let love in, even after we've been broken. That beauty and pleasure and joy and awe can exist alongside suffering, loss, heartbreak, and regret. That we do not have to choose, but instead we can increase our capacity to feel it all, and its all the better when we don't have to do it alone.
Review of advance copy received from Author
I received an advance copy from the author for my honest review.
This story 😭 😭 😭 😭 It will absolutely put you through the wringer but it delivers you safely on the other side like you're enveloped in a warm hug.
Wow... I dont even know how to put into words how to describe this book. The way it was written was so unique and I absolutely loved it. You had some short chapters going back and forth between characters POV. Then you had some longer chapters. Then there were some (1000% needed) time jumps. It was brilliantly put together.
Bailey, Bailey killed me and I think it's because I see Soooo much of myself in him. His character arc was heart wrenching and healing.
The two Bailey quotes I relate to the most:
"I try to relax, nonchalantly posturing myself in a way that appears as if I am, in fact, both invested and participating. Maybe even contributing. I rest my left elbow on my thigh and tilt my head just enough to feign intrigue. I’ve learned some tricks over the years. Ways to appear maybe a modicum less awkward than I naturally am. I’ve felt separate from my peers since kindergarten. I knew, even then, that I was different. My skin didn’t fit right and I never effortlessly knew what to say or do like my friends did. "
“I love the ocean. The smell of the salt in the air, a cool breeze while the waves crash against the shore.” He smiles, then a huff of laughter escapes his lips. “But I fucking hate sand so much the thought of it touching me makes me sweat.”
(the thought of wet sand physically makes me sick)
Lollys response to the sand quote had me tearing up at how PERFECT it was. “If we ever go to the ocean I’ll be sure it’s somewhere like Glass Beach or Aruba where we can enjoy it without the sand.” 😭 not questioning, just here's how we can solve that for you.
Here are some of my favorite parts with no context:
How he got the nickname lolly. Freckles. Princess. Green eyes. Slutty little glasses. Wings. Feather. Piercings.
This story 😭 😭 😭 😭 It will absolutely put you through the wringer but it delivers you safely on the other side like you're enveloped in a warm hug.
Wow... I dont even know how to put into words how to describe this book. The way it was written was so unique and I absolutely loved it. You had some short chapters going back and forth between characters POV. Then you had some longer chapters. Then there were some (1000% needed) time jumps. It was brilliantly put together.
Bailey, Bailey killed me and I think it's because I see Soooo much of myself in him. His character arc was heart wrenching and healing.
The two Bailey quotes I relate to the most:
"I try to relax, nonchalantly posturing myself in a way that appears as if I am, in fact, both invested and participating. Maybe even contributing. I rest my left elbow on my thigh and tilt my head just enough to feign intrigue. I’ve learned some tricks over the years. Ways to appear maybe a modicum less awkward than I naturally am. I’ve felt separate from my peers since kindergarten. I knew, even then, that I was different. My skin didn’t fit right and I never effortlessly knew what to say or do like my friends did. "
“I love the ocean. The smell of the salt in the air, a cool breeze while the waves crash against the shore.” He smiles, then a huff of laughter escapes his lips. “But I fucking hate sand so much the thought of it touching me makes me sweat.”
(the thought of wet sand physically makes me sick)
Lollys response to the sand quote had me tearing up at how PERFECT it was. “If we ever go to the ocean I’ll be sure it’s somewhere like Glass Beach or Aruba where we can enjoy it without the sand.” 😭 not questioning, just here's how we can solve that for you.
Here are some of my favorite parts with no context:
How he got the nickname lolly. Freckles. Princess. Green eyes. Slutty little glasses. Wings. Feather. Piercings.
October 1, 2026
This was a JOURNEY. Lolly and Bailey’s story broke my heart and somehow put it back together more than once.
I loved that this wasn’t just a cute second-chance romance. Yes, there’s plenty of sweetness, chemistry and spice, but it also dives into some really raw and emotional topics. These two have their own struggles to work through, and watching them find comfort and strength in each other was beautiful, even when it hurt.
Bailey is the sweetest soul, and I loved how shy and flustered he became around Lolly. And Lolly? He was so patient, understanding and attentive with Bailey. They balanced each other so well, and I loved that neither of them was perfect. They both felt incredibly real.
I also really liked the two-part structure and the time jump. It worked really well for their story and gave everything a chance to come together in the end.
I laughed, I cried, I giggled and kicked my feet, and yes, my heart hurt a little along the way. This is Bea Lyle’s debut, but honestly, it didn’t feel like one. You can feel how much heart went into these characters and their story.
Definitely check the TWs because this book tackles some heavy topics, but if you’re looking for a second-chance romance that will give you all the feels, Lolly and Bailey are absolutely worth the journey.
I loved that this wasn’t just a cute second-chance romance. Yes, there’s plenty of sweetness, chemistry and spice, but it also dives into some really raw and emotional topics. These two have their own struggles to work through, and watching them find comfort and strength in each other was beautiful, even when it hurt.
Bailey is the sweetest soul, and I loved how shy and flustered he became around Lolly. And Lolly? He was so patient, understanding and attentive with Bailey. They balanced each other so well, and I loved that neither of them was perfect. They both felt incredibly real.
I also really liked the two-part structure and the time jump. It worked really well for their story and gave everything a chance to come together in the end.
I laughed, I cried, I giggled and kicked my feet, and yes, my heart hurt a little along the way. This is Bea Lyle’s debut, but honestly, it didn’t feel like one. You can feel how much heart went into these characters and their story.
Definitely check the TWs because this book tackles some heavy topics, but if you’re looking for a second-chance romance that will give you all the feels, Lolly and Bailey are absolutely worth the journey.
Review of advance copy received from Author
I'm having a hard time deciding on a rating for this book. I liked it until I didn't and then even when the things that I didn't like went away, my enjoyment never fully recovered. But the things I did like, I really liked, I just *wanted* to like it overall more than I did.
I was seriously vibing with this book until about 40% when the separation hits. Unfortunately, this book suffered from a similar problem as another book I recently read wherein internalized/external homophobia is the driving source of the break up, but that pressure is never FELT by the readers. Bailey even mentions in his internal dialogue that his parents were very accepting, and the only thing we have to go on is his cartoonishly dickish cousin that pops up twice. It was even more frustrating in hindsight when his parents had absolutely no problem with him being bi, it just cheapened the whole drama to me. Sometimes, a reveal that the separation was needless adds to the tragedy of it all, but here, it just annoyed me.
But this is a second chance romance, so I was prepared to let it slide until we get Peyton. I'm sorry, but I don't want to read about an MC genuinely liking another person, thinking about them, dreaming about them, comparing them to the other MC, actively pursing a new relationship and being in one, it just soured the romance for me. They were together for longer than he and Lolly originally were! (When Bailey says later on he didn't try for a relationship after Peyton it's kinda like...okay, sure, you didn't have a relationship for 2 years after the 6+ month long one you had mere months after the "fling" with Lolly...that's nice?) I get that that relationship is the crux of his biggest regrets, but I don't think that relationship was needed for him to feel guilt about Nat, like it could have been achieved another way. Nothing was on page, but it rubbed me the wrong way like OP action would. And then he just kinda hates her and uses her as an emotional crutch until he discovers the truth, like just break up with her, man. A few mentions of other people from both MCs, which normally barely registers, but it just added on top of the OP issues for me.
I will say that Nat's death crushed me, I definitely cried when Liam put his ring in the casket with her...now THAT story is a tragedy. They both obviously had feelings for each other but never said anything and now nothing can ever come of it. Heartbreaking, really. I fully understand this needing to happen in the story, I just don't think Bailey needed to be in a relationship that contributed to her death.
Again, with second chance romances, I need the one who does the wronging to work for it. I could have let go the fact that they only come back together by chance since it was only 2 years, but I needed Bailey to do more here, even though I didn't really hold it against him as a character, weirdly. Lolly does the pursuing both times and the second time it just didn't sit right with me. Bailey talks a big game and I think he does back it up, but it was disappointing Lolly drove the relationship again.
I wanted to be happy when they were finding their way back to each other and had all the sweet and sexy moments (the smut was VERY enjoyable, I will say that) but I just kept thinking about something that annoyed me and I had to actively put it out of my mind to try to enjoy the happiness, but lines would just hit me wrong and I'd be annoyed all over again.
Would these things annoy others? Idk, I have seen nothing but 5/6 star reviews so YMMV obviously. But, they annoyed me lol.
I received an ARC from the author; this review is my own, honest opinion.
I was seriously vibing with this book until about 40% when the separation hits. Unfortunately, this book suffered from a similar problem as another book I recently read wherein internalized/external homophobia is the driving source of the break up, but that pressure is never FELT by the readers. Bailey even mentions in his internal dialogue that his parents were very accepting, and the only thing we have to go on is his cartoonishly dickish cousin that pops up twice. It was even more frustrating in hindsight when his parents had absolutely no problem with him being bi, it just cheapened the whole drama to me. Sometimes, a reveal that the separation was needless adds to the tragedy of it all, but here, it just annoyed me.
But this is a second chance romance, so I was prepared to let it slide until we get Peyton. I'm sorry, but I don't want to read about an MC genuinely liking another person, thinking about them, dreaming about them, comparing them to the other MC, actively pursing a new relationship and being in one, it just soured the romance for me. They were together for longer than he and Lolly originally were! (When Bailey says later on he didn't try for a relationship after Peyton it's kinda like...okay, sure, you didn't have a relationship for 2 years after the 6+ month long one you had mere months after the "fling" with Lolly...that's nice?) I get that that relationship is the crux of his biggest regrets, but I don't think that relationship was needed for him to feel guilt about Nat, like it could have been achieved another way. Nothing was on page, but it rubbed me the wrong way like OP action would. And then he just kinda hates her and uses her as an emotional crutch until he discovers the truth, like just break up with her, man. A few mentions of other people from both MCs, which normally barely registers, but it just added on top of the OP issues for me.
I will say that Nat's death crushed me, I definitely cried when Liam put his ring in the casket with her...now THAT story is a tragedy. They both obviously had feelings for each other but never said anything and now nothing can ever come of it. Heartbreaking, really. I fully understand this needing to happen in the story, I just don't think Bailey needed to be in a relationship that contributed to her death.
Again, with second chance romances, I need the one who does the wronging to work for it. I could have let go the fact that they only come back together by chance since it was only 2 years, but I needed Bailey to do more here, even though I didn't really hold it against him as a character, weirdly. Lolly does the pursuing both times and the second time it just didn't sit right with me. Bailey talks a big game and I think he does back it up, but it was disappointing Lolly drove the relationship again.
I wanted to be happy when they were finding their way back to each other and had all the sweet and sexy moments (the smut was VERY enjoyable, I will say that) but I just kept thinking about something that annoyed me and I had to actively put it out of my mind to try to enjoy the happiness, but lines would just hit me wrong and I'd be annoyed all over again.
Would these things annoy others? Idk, I have seen nothing but 5/6 star reviews so YMMV obviously. But, they annoyed me lol.
I received an ARC from the author; this review is my own, honest opinion.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
Review of advance copy received from Author
I went into this book with high expectations after hearing several glowing reviews, and it definitely delivered! Lolly and Bailey were so sweet together, and I really loved their connection.
This book was an emotional roller coaster. The spice and romance were very fast-burn, and by the time they were so happy around the 30% mark, I just knew something terrible was coming. And it did. 😭
Everything that happened felt so abrupt, and it was absolutely heartbreaking to read what happened to Nat. Then, to have Bailey get scared and leave Lolly? I was BROKEN.
The whole situation with Jake felt a little silly to me. I struggled to understand why Bailey couldn't just shake it off and not care, but I also understood that it was a big deal to Bailey and that he still had some maturing to do. He needed to process his grief, work through everything that had happened, and come to terms with his sexuality and what that might mean when it came to telling his family.
It was hard to watch Bailey struggle through his grief and go down a path of self-destruction, but I was equally proud of him when he finally started working through everything. I especially loved seeing his friendship with Liam grow even stronger after everything they went through, and after Bailey was finally honest with Liam about Lolly.
And when Bailey and Lolly finally reunited… I loved every minute of it. Lolly was so patient, understanding, and romantic with Bailey, and their chemistry and connection were SO good. 🥹 I thought the author did a great job showing Bailey's growth and maturity throughout the last third of the book, and there were some really beautiful moments of healing.
I also really enjoyed seeing Lolly slowly process losing his mom while the two of them were reconnecting. It added another emotional layer to the story and gave us a glimpse into what he was going through.
My biggest complaint is that I felt like this book was much more centered around Bailey's journey, and I would have loved more insight into Lolly and what he experienced during the two years they were apart. I wanted to understand more of his emotional journey and what those two years were like for him.
That being said, I still really enjoyed this book and the emotional journey it took me on. It had plenty of angst, heartbreak, healing, and, of course, a beautiful second-chance romance.
If you like an angsty second-chance romance with themes of addiction, grief, healing, and plenty of emotional baggage, definitely add this one to your TBR!
This book was an emotional roller coaster. The spice and romance were very fast-burn, and by the time they were so happy around the 30% mark, I just knew something terrible was coming. And it did. 😭
Everything that happened felt so abrupt, and it was absolutely heartbreaking to read what happened to Nat. Then, to have Bailey get scared and leave Lolly? I was BROKEN.
The whole situation with Jake felt a little silly to me. I struggled to understand why Bailey couldn't just shake it off and not care, but I also understood that it was a big deal to Bailey and that he still had some maturing to do. He needed to process his grief, work through everything that had happened, and come to terms with his sexuality and what that might mean when it came to telling his family.
It was hard to watch Bailey struggle through his grief and go down a path of self-destruction, but I was equally proud of him when he finally started working through everything. I especially loved seeing his friendship with Liam grow even stronger after everything they went through, and after Bailey was finally honest with Liam about Lolly.
And when Bailey and Lolly finally reunited… I loved every minute of it. Lolly was so patient, understanding, and romantic with Bailey, and their chemistry and connection were SO good. 🥹 I thought the author did a great job showing Bailey's growth and maturity throughout the last third of the book, and there were some really beautiful moments of healing.
I also really enjoyed seeing Lolly slowly process losing his mom while the two of them were reconnecting. It added another emotional layer to the story and gave us a glimpse into what he was going through.
My biggest complaint is that I felt like this book was much more centered around Bailey's journey, and I would have loved more insight into Lolly and what he experienced during the two years they were apart. I wanted to understand more of his emotional journey and what those two years were like for him.
That being said, I still really enjoyed this book and the emotional journey it took me on. It had plenty of angst, heartbreak, healing, and, of course, a beautiful second-chance romance.
If you like an angsty second-chance romance with themes of addiction, grief, healing, and plenty of emotional baggage, definitely add this one to your TBR!
Review of advance copy received from Author
At 30% in I knew this book was going to absolutely destroy me, but also be on my highly coveted list of “books I wish I could read for the first time again”.
5.5/5⭐️
4🌶️
It was one of the BEST books i have ever read. Absolutely loved all of it, even if it had me ugly sobbing (which is so soooo rare for me to even tear up at books).
The journey that Bailey and Lolly took to find their happiness had some major ups and downs that had me wishing there was more time in the day to read.
Our poor baby Bailey and his struggles, I dont know if he would have done well with somebody else as his partner that wasn’t Lolly. Even if Lolly was maybe a little more broken than Bailey, he still was the lighthouse in Baileys rough seas.
The spicy scenes were long and plentiful, all while not taking away from the story, or making it just all about the physical part of their relationship.
The chapters being short I felt like make it so much easier to read, I could stop much easier instead of trying to find a place in 30 page chapters. The length of the book was perfect, and every part was 100% needed for the story. Had me wanting more of them cause they are absolutely perfect angel boys.
I can’t say enough good things about this book. I was absolutely enamored, and seriously wish i could read again for the first time. It was amazing and highly highly recommend.
5.5/5⭐️
4🌶️
It was one of the BEST books i have ever read. Absolutely loved all of it, even if it had me ugly sobbing (which is so soooo rare for me to even tear up at books).
The journey that Bailey and Lolly took to find their happiness had some major ups and downs that had me wishing there was more time in the day to read.
Our poor baby Bailey and his struggles, I dont know if he would have done well with somebody else as his partner that wasn’t Lolly. Even if Lolly was maybe a little more broken than Bailey, he still was the lighthouse in Baileys rough seas.
The spicy scenes were long and plentiful, all while not taking away from the story, or making it just all about the physical part of their relationship.
The chapters being short I felt like make it so much easier to read, I could stop much easier instead of trying to find a place in 30 page chapters. The length of the book was perfect, and every part was 100% needed for the story. Had me wanting more of them cause they are absolutely perfect angel boys.
I can’t say enough good things about this book. I was absolutely enamored, and seriously wish i could read again for the first time. It was amazing and highly highly recommend.
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