Strangers and Neighbors: What I Have Learned About Christianity by Living Among Orthodox Jews

by Maria Poggi Johnson

The compelling, insightful, and challenging memoir of a Christian woman's exploration of her faith while living in community with strictly Orthodox Jews. As Maria Johnson "I knew that Christianity is rooted deep in Judaism, but living in daily contact with a vital and vibrant Jewish life has been fascinating and transforming. I am and will remain a Christian, but I am a rather different Christian than I was before."

Genres: Nonfiction, Christianity, Christian, Religion

164 pages, Paperback

First published November 1, 2006

Reviews

[Sleepless Dreamer · Rating 4 out of 5]

When I was in Berlin, I stayed with a Protestant friend who's studying theology. We spent the vast majority of our time together talking about religion, teaching each other ideas, and sharing our thoughts about them. On Friday evening, she joined me in a synagogue and on Sunday morning, I came with her to church. The entire experience was magical because both of us entered this exchange with a sincere urge to learn more, to celebrate the beauty of a different religion. We had equal interest in each other. 

This anecdote brings me precisely to this book. Johnson is a Catholic theology researcher. She moves into a new neighborhood with many Orthodox Jews. This short book is about her thoughts on Judaism, Christianity, theology and their connection as she begins to engage with her neighbors. Some parts of this book are insightful and thoughtful. However, there were definitely some moments that made me, a Jew, uncomfortable. 

I'll start with the good. Johnson's descriptions of Jewish life are so so accurate, poignant and well, just beautiful. From Unorthodox to Unchosen: The Hidden Lives of Hasidic Rebels, I think we're all used to seeing Jewish Orthodox life as heavy, confining and unpleasant, something to flee from. Johnson brings to life the amazing elements of having a community, the beauty of living a religious life and the meaningful aspects of tradition. It's easy for secular people to assume Orthodox Jews are confined to their religion instead of seeing it as a choice. This is really my first time reading a description of Orthodox Judaism that gets it.
  
Beyond getting Orthodox Judaism right, I feel that she understands Judaism more than the average book that talks about Jews. Her curiosity and passion fly off the page. She describes the ups and the downs with so much grace and accuracy. I felt seen, I felt that she was fair and genuine. I felt that she truly cares about representing us as we are (and yeah okay, I say we although I'm not Orthodox, mostly because I'm still deeply involved with those communities and interpretations of Judaism, I recently realized that I enjoy being the edgy person at the Orthodox table more than I actually like non-Orthodox spaces. Remarkably, despite everything, I feel at home in Orthodox communities). 

Her attitude about religious co-existence was also wonderfully refreshing. She respects her neighbors and in return, they respect her. They let her into their community. As an outsider, but still, she takes part in their life. She writes about the way their religious life intertwined with hers and truly, I wish we would all have that approach about those around us who are different. There's a point where she says this was possible because of their different religions. If they were Catholic or if she was Reform, they couldn't do it. It's an apt remark and truly unfortunate that we allow space for diversity but only within the framework of different religions . 

And yet, some parts of this book weren't great. Every time she tried to compare between Judaism and Christianity, I felt deeply uncomfortable. There's room for such comparisons, surely, but it needs to be done with more sensitivity. The biggest miss is that Johnson somehow doesn't realize the connection between Christianity and Judaism is not equal. Do you know who says Judeo-Christian? Only Christians and mostly with mistakes about Judaism along the way. 

Orthodox Jews don't learn about Christianity because they don't care about it. The reason why her Orthodox friends aren't interested in debating theology with her isn't because Jews are scarred from all of the Christian antisemitism. It's far beyond that. Orthodox Jews aren't going to engage with her on this because they simply believe she's wrong. Talking about Jesus, going to an Easter egg hunt, lighting a Christmas tree, these things are seen as bad within the Orthodox community. They're seen as dangerous for Jews. 

My Orthodox friends were shocked when I told them I went to a Protestant prayer. Judaism doesn't allow entering churches, technically the entirety of Christianity is avodah zarah, it's idolatry (interestingly, Islam isn't because the trinity is seen as not monotheistic). It felt like Johnson didn't quite grasp how serious these things are.   

And well, the reason why the Jews didn't try to convince her to be religious is because she's not Jewish. If she was a secular Jew, I guarantee that they would not shut up about theology. Orthodox Jews don't think the world would be a better place if everyone was Jewish but they do believe the world would be a better place if every Jew was religious. 

She writes about the conversion of Cornelius and doesn't realize that I, as a Jew, don't see things this way. Jesus is great and there's definitely much to learn from his teachings but I simply don't see any religious aspects about him. Judaism doesn't believe in the idea of God having a child, there's a very clear definition of what the Messiah is and it's not Jesus. What Orthodox Jews would see in Peter isn't a Jew rediscovering a new perception of God- it's a Jew losing the derech, losing their religion and culture. 

It was interesting to see how she changed her perspective after meeting Jews but at times, it felt almost fetishizing, as if she uses these Jews to enforce her own religion. I'm convinced that if she would have let her Orthodox friends read it, they wouldn't be happy. 

Moreover, it had this energy as though she had learned about Jews through the Bible and now suddenly got to meet Jews as a relic of her Christianity. Judaism is a cohesive religion without any connection to Christianity but the same can't be said about Christianity so I understand why she might feel this way but she could afford to tone it down. We don't walk around going, "we're the descendants of Moses!!", we do not perceive ourselves as the contradicting force to Jesus. 

To conclude, this book is quite a mixed bag. It raises a lot of interesting ideas to think about. As someone who enjoys theology, I loved seeing my own religion through her eyes. Johnson did a fantastic job at bringing Judaism to life. True, this book could be more sensitive to the feelings of Orthodox Jews themselves but as a whole, I liked what she did.
 
What I'm Taking With Me
- I'll answer the question. I don't remember the first time I learned about the Holocaust- it seems like it was always there. Judaism is about life so even if all of our holidays are about nearly dying, we still focus more on that. There's no big Jewish mourning time that she's not being invited to (I mean, there are the fasts but I get the feeling that's not what she meant). 

-When I learned about Christianity, at first I felt offended. It feels like Christianity took some parts of Judaism, ignored the vast Jewish canon and removed the essence of it. I have no negative feelings about any kind of religious behavior but it's frustrating that Johnson doesn't acknowledge that for religious Jews, Jesus is at best irrelevant.    

-  Shabbat is the best thing ever, like seriously, I look forward to Shabbat every week (no studying! no stress! no assignments! lots of sleep!)

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This book was simultaneously really eye-opening but also annoying. I'm not sure how it was able to be both so accurately.

Review to come! I can't believe I'm so behind on reviews again, ack.

[Oriyah N · Rating 4 out of 5]

I picked this book up on a whim (based on the cover and title. Really, when will I learn?!), and then read the description and felt disappointed. It wasn't the kind of thing I was likely to learn much from, and therefore not much chance I'd enjoy it. As it turns out, I was pleasantly surprised. Hearing the author's unique viewpoint on Judaism as someone who is extremely knowledgeable about both Judaism and her own religion, Catholicism, with the former being learned not just from books, but "on the ground, running" [is that an actual phrase or did I just bastardize another one and use it in the entirely wrong context? Guilty! :-P]) was really interesting - and the author's kindness and intellectual honesty really shone through.

Of course, she does have very different religious viewpoint (and therefore different worldview) than my own, but this also contributed to my enjoyment of the book. Her recognition that her religious affiliation is faith-based was made extremely apparent by her description of the beginning of Christianity (I actually laughed at what a stretch the actual source for their doctrine even is - sorry if that's unkind, but it screamed boo-hockey to me) and enjoyed how the author recognizes that her relationship with her neighbors only works because they are of different faiths, as well as her knowledge that halachikally observant Jews do not appreciate having Christianity explained to them without solicitation and definitely do not appreciate being proselytized to. I also got a little chuckle at her daughter's statement to a non-observant Jew that, "Hmm, you must be one of those Jews who don't know their mitzvahs." (P. 122.)

Despite her fairly thorough knowledge (from her position), she didn't get EVERYTHING right. Her assertion that the Jewish kids in her neighborhood can't even eat an apple from her fruit-bowl may be accurate, but that would be because the parents felt it would be easier to have a black and white "no eating in her house" rule rather than actual halacha. Her translation of a mitzvah is also off...but Poggi-Johnson does readily acknowledge that she is sure she doesn't fully "get it" and all in all she seems like a really kind and admirable person.

The only thing I strongly disagreed with was her supposition that Jesus is coming back and will be recognized as our savior, and that we'll (therefore) greet him with a resounding "Baruch Hashem." Not happening, lady.

[Kate Kuykendall · Rating 3 out of 5]

Not a life changing read, but enlightening. Written with humor and tact. It made me think a little more about how I can emulate the Jews in my devotion to my own faith.

[Aubrey · Rating 5 out of 5]

A quick, humorous, informative, and wonderful read.
I know very little about Judaism, and it was humbling for me to realize that fact.
I am cultivating more respect and understanding as a Gentile following in the footsteps of the chosen people. (Chapter 10 was a tremendous help with this)
As a result of this book, I have respect for their love for the Torah. (See Psalm 1). This love is not necessarily the result of legalism but rather a true love of obedience and God. This has helped me see the legitimate difficulties that ensued between the Jews and the new believers during the creation of the Church (See Acts 10-15.) For example, circumcision and keeping the Sabbath were both important and even practiced by Jesus, but how were the new believers supposed to handle this?

From chapter 10:

“It is God’s story, and it is not for me to wish it otherwise. But I am torn in all directions when I read these chapters [referring to Acts 10 and 15:]. It is not a shallow, triumphalistic account of “how we shook off the shackles of tradition,” but a tense story of faithful Jews struggling to understand God’s will and to make a decision that will have huge implications for all of God’s people. The stakes are high, and there is tragedy among the triumph. The world was won for Christ, but the cost was very high. The daring decisions of the story’s heroes,Peter and James and Paul, are noble in part because as these men steered the fledgling Church into uncharted waters, they must have known how much would be lost.”


Isn’t it wonderful to see something, or someone, in a new light?

[Lindsay Bruce Smith · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book, not for its educational value (although I learned a lot of stuff I didn't know about orthodox judaism) but for its entertaining and humorous style. I also learned a lot about the roots of my own faith and I appreciate that Professor Johnson has done the hard academic work and presented me with easy to read, accessible information. This book is not a complete guide to Christianity any more than it is a fully informed guide to Judaism; it is what it says on the cover, a summary of what the author herself has learned about her own faith through living in a predominantly Jewish community.

[Bryce DeFigueiredo · Rating 3 out of 5]

A nice book about the author’s experience as a Christian living in a community with a lot of Orthodox Jews. It had a lot of fun anecdotes about navigating differences in religion and culture and gave me a glimpse of what daily life is like for many Orthodox Jews. It’s not heavy on theology or history and is mostly a collection of experiences woven together to paint a picture.

[Skylar Burris]

A Catholic lives close to an Orthodox Jewish community in PA, hangs out with Orthodox Jews, and writes about what she has learned from them as a Christian. It sounded interesting to me as a Christian who has a deep admiration for Judaism, but when I sampled it, I just didn't get the impression it would be very insightful. I think maybe it's a book for Christians who don't know much about Judaism.

[Rivkyk · Rating 4 out of 5]

I admit that I picked it y because as Jew, with a connection to the community the author is writing about, I was curious. I found her explanations and understanding of them community very astute. Her explanations of Christian theology both interesting and a little difficult to read. All in all, a solid read.

[Sara · Rating 4 out of 5]

Got mostly right, which is rare when others write about Jews. I always enjoy reading what they all think of us. This was pretty respectful with few errors.

[Mandi Scott · Rating 5 out of 5]

Maria Poggi Johnson’s book “Strangers and Neighbors” offers a fascinating, sensitive and humorous account of two different religions co-existing in the same neighborhood together. As a devout Catholic and theology professor, she shares her experiences while living and raising a family in an ultra-orthodox Jewish neighborhood. Her insights into Judaism’s special relationship with G-d, and how this new understanding enhanced her own faith, are inspiring and thought provoking. Her accounts of Jewish and Christian neighbor-kids playing together while learning to accommodate each other’s differences are truly endearing and genuinely funny. For those looking for a feel good, yet educational, book, this one fits the bill.

[Karen Childress · Rating 5 out of 5]

A Gentile Among Jews

If you are a Christian with an inexplicable love for Judaism, you need to read this book. It puts everything into a perspective that you’ve carried within you, but may not have been able to express to your Christian friends beyond the fact that Jesus was Jewish.
I was recommended this book by an Orthodox friend, and I’m glad I read it. There are several gems to be taken away from it.

[Steve Gross · Rating 3 out of 5]

W@arm and thoughtful, but the author has adopted the Magic Jew syndrome - all the Orthodox people in her book are smart and tolerant and good. She could have used some input from a (admittedly, hard-to-find) non-Orthodox committed Jew.

[Casertalaura · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very interesting!

[Millie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Engaging on every level. The author impressively walks a fine line between respectful humor and irreverent honesty. I found myself experiencing a range of emotions because the topic is fascinating and the writing is insightful. I definitely have a new perspective on Judaism, Christianity and-- as a result-- my own journey of faith.

[Maren bosley · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really loved the things that I learned from this book. The author very carefully and lovingly helped me gain a better understanding of Orthodox Jews and their deep devotion and loyalty to their faith. I would love to live in their neighborhood with them! The book was very readable and made me chuckle at times too.

[Susannah · Rating 3 out of 5]

A honest look at faith and living one's faith written by a woman who is Catholic who lives in an Orthodox Jewish community. She shares what she has learned from them. A good look into a Christian home and the life of Orthodox Jews.

[Rest · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very informative book on the tradition of Jews. I understand few practices of Jews.

[Ashleigh Heagy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Quick easy read. Thankful for the glossary! Humorous and brings light to the orthodox Jewish community

[Linda Garfield · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wonderful well-written personal account of friendship despite enduring differences. Very enjoyable read!