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Fiction Writing Basics #1
Nine Day Novel-Authorphobia: Laugh at Your Fear of Writing: Suck Less for Author Success
Can’t take the first step in becoming an author? Afraid you’ll suck at writing?
Have you ever…
Heard that little voice inside your head, whispering that your writing sucked? Simply felt too terrified to start writing? Had the wind knocked out of your sails—been critiqued by a “well-meaning” person—and decided that they were right and gave up? Read and read motivational books on writing only to end up more fearful afterward? Compared yourself to “successful” writers and decided that you’ll never measure up?
If so, congratulations! You’re a writer!
And I’ll tell you what no other motivational mushery book about becoming an author will tell you—in the beginning…
We all sucked when we first started.
I’ll tell you a little secret. All those authors you want to be just like? The “Stephen Kings” and the “Nora Roberts"… The list of successful authors to envy is endless. But you know what? When they started, the first sentence each one of those authors you want to be wrote … sucked. The only difference between them and you?
The successful authors overcame their fear of writing!
I used to be a yearning and scared-to-death wannabe author. I’m assuming that if you’re reading the book description of a book called Authorphobia, chances are high you’re looking for a little bit of writer inspiration and motivation like I was—you may be having a little fear of failure about becoming a writer. But all the motivational “la la” books never spoke to my writing soul … so I’m doing what I always do, writing a book to fill that void.
The best way to overcome your fear of writing?
Let me suggest that before you read another tired book that starts out with “FEAR is just False Expectations Appearing Real,” you embrace the one thing that will crush your writer fear faster than anything I know—humor.
Learn to Laugh Fear in the Face
My goal with this book was to get down and dirty with your fears and expose the naked truth of them—show them for what they are. Common, communicable if you’re not careful, controllable, and ultimately conquerable using the one thing that human beings have always relied on to survive dark nights in the forest of our irrational fears. Nervous, naughty, sometimes a little nasty sarcastic wit.
This is not your grandma’s writing inspiration book.
At the publication of this book, there are at least a dozen “Author quote, ‘authorpreneur’, get over your fear, there-there Johnny or Sally, everything will be okay, hand-holding” books you could read that’ll have you convinced in no time that all this author stuff is easy-peasy lemon squeezy. This … is not one of those books.
Are you ready for some reality?
This book will:
Help you laugh at your fear of the word “suck.” Introduce you to the “Goldberg the Goalie” technique for fear-busting. Give you some of the best old-dead-author quotes you’ll ever read. Show you tons of “suck-busters” to help you start writing. Poke fun at just about every sacred cow of writing I could think of.
Have you ever…
Heard that little voice inside your head, whispering that your writing sucked? Simply felt too terrified to start writing? Had the wind knocked out of your sails—been critiqued by a “well-meaning” person—and decided that they were right and gave up? Read and read motivational books on writing only to end up more fearful afterward? Compared yourself to “successful” writers and decided that you’ll never measure up?
If so, congratulations! You’re a writer!
And I’ll tell you what no other motivational mushery book about becoming an author will tell you—in the beginning…
We all sucked when we first started.
I’ll tell you a little secret. All those authors you want to be just like? The “Stephen Kings” and the “Nora Roberts"… The list of successful authors to envy is endless. But you know what? When they started, the first sentence each one of those authors you want to be wrote … sucked. The only difference between them and you?
The successful authors overcame their fear of writing!
I used to be a yearning and scared-to-death wannabe author. I’m assuming that if you’re reading the book description of a book called Authorphobia, chances are high you’re looking for a little bit of writer inspiration and motivation like I was—you may be having a little fear of failure about becoming a writer. But all the motivational “la la” books never spoke to my writing soul … so I’m doing what I always do, writing a book to fill that void.
The best way to overcome your fear of writing?
Let me suggest that before you read another tired book that starts out with “FEAR is just False Expectations Appearing Real,” you embrace the one thing that will crush your writer fear faster than anything I know—humor.
Learn to Laugh Fear in the Face
My goal with this book was to get down and dirty with your fears and expose the naked truth of them—show them for what they are. Common, communicable if you’re not careful, controllable, and ultimately conquerable using the one thing that human beings have always relied on to survive dark nights in the forest of our irrational fears. Nervous, naughty, sometimes a little nasty sarcastic wit.
This is not your grandma’s writing inspiration book.
At the publication of this book, there are at least a dozen “Author quote, ‘authorpreneur’, get over your fear, there-there Johnny or Sally, everything will be okay, hand-holding” books you could read that’ll have you convinced in no time that all this author stuff is easy-peasy lemon squeezy. This … is not one of those books.
Are you ready for some reality?
This book will:
Help you laugh at your fear of the word “suck.” Introduce you to the “Goldberg the Goalie” technique for fear-busting. Give you some of the best old-dead-author quotes you’ll ever read. Show you tons of “suck-busters” to help you start writing. Poke fun at just about every sacred cow of writing I could think of.
- GenresWritingNonfiction
189 pages, Kindle Edition
First published May 29, 2015
16 people are currently reading
53 people want to read
About the author
Steve Windsor
13 books35 followersSteve Windsor was born in Augsberg Germany to US Military parents. So he doesn’t know a bit of German.
University of Washington—check—alumni association after me for money.
MBA—almost—too much beer.
Mortgage—check—check—check—no mas, por favor, no mas.
Wife—she’s wonderful
Kids—wonder-fuller
La la la. You don’t want to read about that do you? Here’s the good stuff
Me? I'm just a guy who wants to watch the Apocalypse with some 3D glasses, a monster bucket of popcorn, and a Pina Colada. (Hey, don't judge me. I like the foo-foo drinks. They taste better.)
I like a good bad-guy … or bad good-girl, for that matter. What's wrong with that?
I think the world needs some good anti-heroes. Ones that we can rely on to set things right. An ornery brute or brutess who can clean up everything that needs cleanin' up ... except themselves.
And I would use an ellipsis ... for a dramatic pause ... and another one ... just to piss off my editor ... right before I tell you that sometimes … I mess up movie quotes.
My editor says that ellipses are annoying—I don't use many of them. (Totally lying—she made me put that in here)
I think Vin Diesel was too nice in Pitch Black. (Probably his best movie) So was Beatrix Kiddo in Kill Bill, for that matter. (1 and 2, thank you)
Andrew Vachss is my hero. You should definitely read his novels.
And I love George R.R. Martin because he’s not afraid to whack a hero.
You think I'm harsh? Two words—Chuck Wendig. Trust me, you should read him.
Sarcasm—Flirty chit-chat.
Cynicism—A little toe tickle under the dinner table.
Condescending contempt—ooh, talk dirty to me.
Straight-up stringing a long line of colorful profanity together as speech—Check please! Call us a cab!
On Profanity:
Battlestar Galactica (the new one) I mean, come on, “Frack?” That was profanity genius.
Betty White—Lake Placid. All I'm sayin'.
X-files—episode… I don’t remember, but they “bleeped” all their cursewords … by actually saying “bleep!” Genius!
Also, HBO—The Wire. Where my two favorite detectives carry a whole scene with one word as continual dialog. That word? "Firetruck." (It's a SNL skit—Google it)
And Firefly? Get outta here. Cussing in Chinese? Frackin genius.
So I guess you can tell I like a colorful vocabulary in a character.
I'm Steve Windsor, and I approve this bio message
University of Washington—check—alumni association after me for money.
MBA—almost—too much beer.
Mortgage—check—check—check—no mas, por favor, no mas.
Wife—she’s wonderful
Kids—wonder-fuller
La la la. You don’t want to read about that do you? Here’s the good stuff
Me? I'm just a guy who wants to watch the Apocalypse with some 3D glasses, a monster bucket of popcorn, and a Pina Colada. (Hey, don't judge me. I like the foo-foo drinks. They taste better.)
I like a good bad-guy … or bad good-girl, for that matter. What's wrong with that?
I think the world needs some good anti-heroes. Ones that we can rely on to set things right. An ornery brute or brutess who can clean up everything that needs cleanin' up ... except themselves.
And I would use an ellipsis ... for a dramatic pause ... and another one ... just to piss off my editor ... right before I tell you that sometimes … I mess up movie quotes.
My editor says that ellipses are annoying—I don't use many of them. (Totally lying—she made me put that in here)
I think Vin Diesel was too nice in Pitch Black. (Probably his best movie) So was Beatrix Kiddo in Kill Bill, for that matter. (1 and 2, thank you)
Andrew Vachss is my hero. You should definitely read his novels.
And I love George R.R. Martin because he’s not afraid to whack a hero.
You think I'm harsh? Two words—Chuck Wendig. Trust me, you should read him.
Sarcasm—Flirty chit-chat.
Cynicism—A little toe tickle under the dinner table.
Condescending contempt—ooh, talk dirty to me.
Straight-up stringing a long line of colorful profanity together as speech—Check please! Call us a cab!
On Profanity:
Battlestar Galactica (the new one) I mean, come on, “Frack?” That was profanity genius.
Betty White—Lake Placid. All I'm sayin'.
X-files—episode… I don’t remember, but they “bleeped” all their cursewords … by actually saying “bleep!” Genius!
Also, HBO—The Wire. Where my two favorite detectives carry a whole scene with one word as continual dialog. That word? "Firetruck." (It's a SNL skit—Google it)
And Firefly? Get outta here. Cussing in Chinese? Frackin genius.
So I guess you can tell I like a colorful vocabulary in a character.
I'm Steve Windsor, and I approve this bio message
Ratings & Reviews
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Displaying 1 - 14 of 14 reviews
July 20, 2015
The author warns that this is not your average writing book, and he’s right. He sets out to prove that the fear so many of us have of writing is unfounded. More importantly, that every author — whether just starting out or having been writing for decades — fears writing. Some more than others, of course. Those who fear it less, or are able to set the fear aside, are the writers who become successful. Steve Windsor claims we can all be the latter. That our fears control us only as long as we let them, and that fearing something as harmless as sitting down at the keyboard is pretty silly in the first place. The book itself is filled with the sort of pithy quotations Steve Windsor claims to hate, which is why I can’t give it a higher score. It seems to just scratch the surface of what lies beneath those fears that keep us far away from the keyboards, and the advice offered within is common sense, and often, redundant. I was hoping for more interesting revelations, more useable techniques to get my butt in the writing chair (and keep it there), and, frankly, more fun. Instead, I found the book rather dull and didn’t come away with a single new idea after reading it.
April 27, 2016
Nice concept, but no helpful advice. Once you read through the first chapter and feel reassured that others experience "authorphobia" too, the book just becomes a bunch of rambling & self promotion for the author's other books.
Read
June 15, 2015FEAR THE WRITING PHOBIA NO MORE…THE CURE IS HERE!
Authorphobia is not just another book on writing. And for that I am glad. I've personally read enough of those over the years to say another book on how to write a book isn't what this writer needed. I needed a book on overcoming the one thing that stops me from writing: FEAR. That is what Authorphobia is...a book on kicking your fear-based writer self in the ass. Authorphobia gives you what 99% of the other books don't...real in-your-face-hard hitting truths about why most people who say they want to write a book never get around to doing it. They are too busy doing something else, or there is always another garden to tend to or a chair top repair before actually getting around to writing.
So, what is Authorphobia by Steve Windsor? It is the book every author needs to read before reading all those books on how to write. What's the use of reading a book on how to create your first draft if you never get past the first line because you froze up as soon as you sat down to write? FEAR. If I had had this book ten years ago I would have gotten a lot more accomplished. All the while I thought I was just "being too busy" to write.
Why do I recommend this book?
It gets to the heart of the problem and issues that "real" writer's face; We suck at writing, and we want to overcome this. Steve Windsor pulls no punches and comes at the reader full on with his personal stories of sucking--something we can all relate to, if the love of writing is what you have, but the FEAR of sucking is what holds you back.
How is AUTHORPHOBIA different from other writing books?
Most writing books will tell you what to write, how to write, where to write, and even what time to write. But most would-be-authors never even get this far, even after reading a book on how-to-write-a-novel in seven days. You might read a book on how to create the perfect outline, or awesome characters, or crafting the perfect finale for your book. But the reality is, most people won’t get this far. Other books on writing will tell you that your problem is procrastination or, "if you just focus on turning off your distractions" you will be able to pound out prose like a pro. They don't tackle the real problem that most people really face: If I write, I'm going to SUCK at it, so as long as I can put off writing, I won't have to face the inevitable truth that I'm a terrible writer."
This is where Authorphobia comes in. Steve Windsor knows the real mind of a person who wants to write. He understands that "itch" we all have to be that writer that finishes a book, and to have that secret longing, no matter how much time has passed, to write a novel.
Here are just a few of my favorite quotes from the book:
"Your definition of “success” is just over the horizon—your next book. Write that next book."
"If you want to write a novel, and even if you just think you want to write one, skip the fear that you’ll suck part."
"But despite what you think, the universe wants you to write. Messengers come in all shapes. Start listening."
"Being a great writer is about you writing. And at first that writing will suck. Get over it. We all sucked when we first started."
But my favorite of all:
"The writing I do now, and the writing you’ll do at any point
in your life, will be influenced by the cumulation of all the
events of your life. Were you to have never lived that life,
your writing from that experience wouldn’t be possible."
Now, in addition to the great suggestions Steve gives for writing, here are some of the core subjects:
1. Work hard at writing--don't be lazy.
2. Learn the rules of writing;
3. Writing as great therapy;
4. Steve's list of FEAR SUCKS
5. Kicking criticism
6. Suggestions for busting through your excuse-ridden reasons for not writing;
7. The REAL reasons why you should write;
8. Ditch the comparison routine; stop comparing yourself to other writers!
Not only do I recommend this book, but, you need it to get the ball rolling. If you are stuck at getting a book written, or you have written a book already and you are stuck at getting th next one written, Authorphobia is the SHOVEL that will remove the S***. I wish I had this ten years ago [I alrwady said that but it's true] because I would have spent more quality time writing and being creative than quantity time playing games and watching videos.
Steve shares his most profound wisdom, humor, and honesty in this book. You can really connect with him because its obvious he cares about writing and he cares about writers.
This book “Authorphobia” does exactly what it promises: it grabs you, gives you a reality shake, and says “You are a writer!” and whatever fear you have, you still have it, but now you know what to do with it.
So get to it!
And from a writer that has been dealing with the "suck" most of his life, thanks Steve Windsor for this great book.
Authorphobia is not just another book on writing. And for that I am glad. I've personally read enough of those over the years to say another book on how to write a book isn't what this writer needed. I needed a book on overcoming the one thing that stops me from writing: FEAR. That is what Authorphobia is...a book on kicking your fear-based writer self in the ass. Authorphobia gives you what 99% of the other books don't...real in-your-face-hard hitting truths about why most people who say they want to write a book never get around to doing it. They are too busy doing something else, or there is always another garden to tend to or a chair top repair before actually getting around to writing.
So, what is Authorphobia by Steve Windsor? It is the book every author needs to read before reading all those books on how to write. What's the use of reading a book on how to create your first draft if you never get past the first line because you froze up as soon as you sat down to write? FEAR. If I had had this book ten years ago I would have gotten a lot more accomplished. All the while I thought I was just "being too busy" to write.
Why do I recommend this book?
It gets to the heart of the problem and issues that "real" writer's face; We suck at writing, and we want to overcome this. Steve Windsor pulls no punches and comes at the reader full on with his personal stories of sucking--something we can all relate to, if the love of writing is what you have, but the FEAR of sucking is what holds you back.
How is AUTHORPHOBIA different from other writing books?
Most writing books will tell you what to write, how to write, where to write, and even what time to write. But most would-be-authors never even get this far, even after reading a book on how-to-write-a-novel in seven days. You might read a book on how to create the perfect outline, or awesome characters, or crafting the perfect finale for your book. But the reality is, most people won’t get this far. Other books on writing will tell you that your problem is procrastination or, "if you just focus on turning off your distractions" you will be able to pound out prose like a pro. They don't tackle the real problem that most people really face: If I write, I'm going to SUCK at it, so as long as I can put off writing, I won't have to face the inevitable truth that I'm a terrible writer."
This is where Authorphobia comes in. Steve Windsor knows the real mind of a person who wants to write. He understands that "itch" we all have to be that writer that finishes a book, and to have that secret longing, no matter how much time has passed, to write a novel.
Here are just a few of my favorite quotes from the book:
"Your definition of “success” is just over the horizon—your next book. Write that next book."
"If you want to write a novel, and even if you just think you want to write one, skip the fear that you’ll suck part."
"But despite what you think, the universe wants you to write. Messengers come in all shapes. Start listening."
"Being a great writer is about you writing. And at first that writing will suck. Get over it. We all sucked when we first started."
But my favorite of all:
"The writing I do now, and the writing you’ll do at any point
in your life, will be influenced by the cumulation of all the
events of your life. Were you to have never lived that life,
your writing from that experience wouldn’t be possible."
Now, in addition to the great suggestions Steve gives for writing, here are some of the core subjects:
1. Work hard at writing--don't be lazy.
2. Learn the rules of writing;
3. Writing as great therapy;
4. Steve's list of FEAR SUCKS
5. Kicking criticism
6. Suggestions for busting through your excuse-ridden reasons for not writing;
7. The REAL reasons why you should write;
8. Ditch the comparison routine; stop comparing yourself to other writers!
Not only do I recommend this book, but, you need it to get the ball rolling. If you are stuck at getting a book written, or you have written a book already and you are stuck at getting th next one written, Authorphobia is the SHOVEL that will remove the S***. I wish I had this ten years ago [I alrwady said that but it's true] because I would have spent more quality time writing and being creative than quantity time playing games and watching videos.
Steve shares his most profound wisdom, humor, and honesty in this book. You can really connect with him because its obvious he cares about writing and he cares about writers.
This book “Authorphobia” does exactly what it promises: it grabs you, gives you a reality shake, and says “You are a writer!” and whatever fear you have, you still have it, but now you know what to do with it.
So get to it!
And from a writer that has been dealing with the "suck" most of his life, thanks Steve Windsor for this great book.
March 3, 2017
New writer? Need a boost?
Laugh and know why you're so damned scared to write. Read this. This guy will pull your fears apart and make you chuckle while he does it. Very punny humor - but I am a nerd, so...
Laugh and know why you're so damned scared to write. Read this. This guy will pull your fears apart and make you chuckle while he does it. Very punny humor - but I am a nerd, so...
December 27, 2015
I'M READY!!
I gave this a five star rating for many reasons, but one in particular. My unaldutareted fear within the last three years of not writing because of fear. I would look over all my work and think ugh this sucks. Why am I even writing if I'm going to suck this badly, why do I even think I can write as a career? Albeit a secret career I good no one I aspired to do with my life. If I kept it a secret I must suck even worse than I think!
After two years of not wanting to type anything being unmotivated. Feeling extra sucky, this book has DONE IT. It has gotten me over my fear and my unwillingness to put my foot down and
telling that fear to suck it. All of this just happened within the last past 4 hours.
I've never read any of your other books Mr.Windsor but after this one I'm pretty much sold on buying the rest of your series! I'm only 22 and I've gotta lot of years to suck at this thing but I want to start sucking now rather than later! Thanks a lot!
I gave this a five star rating for many reasons, but one in particular. My unaldutareted fear within the last three years of not writing because of fear. I would look over all my work and think ugh this sucks. Why am I even writing if I'm going to suck this badly, why do I even think I can write as a career? Albeit a secret career I good no one I aspired to do with my life. If I kept it a secret I must suck even worse than I think!
After two years of not wanting to type anything being unmotivated. Feeling extra sucky, this book has DONE IT. It has gotten me over my fear and my unwillingness to put my foot down and
telling that fear to suck it. All of this just happened within the last past 4 hours.
I've never read any of your other books Mr.Windsor but after this one I'm pretty much sold on buying the rest of your series! I'm only 22 and I've gotta lot of years to suck at this thing but I want to start sucking now rather than later! Thanks a lot!
September 12, 2015
3.5/4 stars
Great motivation and for helping new writers to get into and not be scared about writing; of course the author goes through many "stop the suck" examples and quotes and even some jokes while funny or amusing may not be suitable for a younger person.
overall, interesting and somewhat motivating read but hard to her into after a while which is why it took much longer to finish - I couldn't get into it. Maybe by making self-help books read like muster novels they may read quicker.
I like the availability and openness of the author but sometimes the jokes or multiple quotes can be too much.
However, I did like a lot of quotes here. Very true and eye opening )song quotes).
Great motivation and for helping new writers to get into and not be scared about writing; of course the author goes through many "stop the suck" examples and quotes and even some jokes while funny or amusing may not be suitable for a younger person.
overall, interesting and somewhat motivating read but hard to her into after a while which is why it took much longer to finish - I couldn't get into it. Maybe by making self-help books read like muster novels they may read quicker.
I like the availability and openness of the author but sometimes the jokes or multiple quotes can be too much.
However, I did like a lot of quotes here. Very true and eye opening )song quotes).
June 26, 2015
Nine Day Novel-Authorphobia von Steve Windsor ist ein Schreibratgeber innerhalb seiner Reihe Nine Day Novel, der ein ganz besonderes Thema anspricht - die Angst vorm Schreiben.
Der Autor schafft es, diese oftmals nur eingebildete Furcht aus jeder erdenklichen Perspektive zu betrachten und Hintergründe zu erforschen. Stets wird dabei versucht dem Leser Motivation zu schaffen, was wunderbar gelingt durch einen lockeren Schreibstil, vielen Tipps, die Angst loszuwerden, und der Beschreibung des eigenen Werdegangs.
Der Autor schafft es, diese oftmals nur eingebildete Furcht aus jeder erdenklichen Perspektive zu betrachten und Hintergründe zu erforschen. Stets wird dabei versucht dem Leser Motivation zu schaffen, was wunderbar gelingt durch einen lockeren Schreibstil, vielen Tipps, die Angst loszuwerden, und der Beschreibung des eigenen Werdegangs.
June 21, 2015
I found it!
I have purchased a few of the books in the Nine Day Novel series. I have made some progress reading them. Don't get me wrong, they are excellent. I just had questions, because, to me, it seemed Mr Windsor was starting in the middle. Authorophobia was the beginning I was looking for, and what a beginning it is. Authorophobia grabs you by the genitals and pulls you from the block of your own creation. I read it in one morning.
I have purchased a few of the books in the Nine Day Novel series. I have made some progress reading them. Don't get me wrong, they are excellent. I just had questions, because, to me, it seemed Mr Windsor was starting in the middle. Authorophobia was the beginning I was looking for, and what a beginning it is. Authorophobia grabs you by the genitals and pulls you from the block of your own creation. I read it in one morning.
June 28, 2015
I enjoyed reading this book. I found myself chuckling quite a bit as I read. Steve has found his own voice and shares his knowledge in a friendly and chatty way. If you like books that make you feel like you're having a chat with the author over a coffee, you'll like this. Oh..and the information on how to combat Authorphobia is great too!
February 26, 2016
Helpful, and entertaining
Most of the writing books I have come across are more like a lecture. These books are more like a conversation with a friend. They are both entertaining, and helpful. This was the first in the series that I have read all the way through, but I bought all I could find.
Most of the writing books I have come across are more like a lecture. These books are more like a conversation with a friend. They are both entertaining, and helpful. This was the first in the series that I have read all the way through, but I bought all I could find.
June 14, 2017
One of the best books on any aspect of writing I've ever read--engaging, inspiring, and spot-on. Highly recommend for authors at any stage of their careers. I've written a few dozen books and still found it helpful. Because, hey, we all suck sometimes (or at least are afraid that we do). Writers, pick it up!
July 4, 2015
I like Steve Windsor's writing style. It's humorous, short, and usually gives me some insight. Authorphobia is the third Nine Day Novel book I've read and I enjoy the series. It's a nice little emotional burst for anyone still struggling with writer's doubt.
June 29, 2015
I love Steve's writing style...he's funny, helpful and just gets it. I was nodding my head, chuckling out loud and wincing at the hard truths in this book. I'll definitely be reading the other books in this series!
Read
December 14, 2015Not going to rate this one. It wasn't for me but someone else may find it enlightening.
Displaying 1 - 14 of 14 reviews