*** 4.65 ***
A buddy read with the addicted to Brandon Sanderson's genius and humor!!! We are all 13 year old when we read this series:):):)
".....Unfortunately, I know that some of you Hushlanders have trouble counting to three. (The Librarian-controlled schools don't want you to be able to manage complex mathematics.)
This obvious explanation of our terrible mathematical abilities is the reason I had to re-check several times to make sure I was reading the right book in order... I had already gone through the first two, also in order i might add, and was psyched to read the next one in line. Book 3 did not disappoint. No, it was not very different nor did Alcatraz grow with 15 years in a month the way they like to do with the soap-opera newborns - they don't have dramatic use beyond someone trying to steel them or prove that the supposed mother is not the biological parent... Once they hit toddler's age, they are soap=opera dead zone, so they grow into upper teens in a week... But no, Alcatraz has chosen, for some very inexplicable reason, to go through the most awkward time of teenage development and is sticking with the age of 13. And he has a crush! It is adorable! It took him a while to understand what was happening, but at one point he was mercilessly given an unprovoked hug by the object of his affections, and everything became complicated between them... Mostly, Alcatraz finds himself not knowing what to say and sticking his foot in his mouth in peculiar circumstances... Sad, realy... It could have been avoided if he had grown himself even with only 5 years. By then, he would have known exactly how to be cool in front of hot, be it sword wielding, girls:):):)
"... Bastille got teary eyed. Then she hugged me.
Girls, might I make a suggestion at this point? Don't go around hugging people without warning. To many of us (a number somewhere near half), this is akin to pouring an entire bottle of seventeen-alarm hot sauce in our mouths.
I believe that at this point in the story, I made several very interesting and incoherent noises, followed – perhaps – by a blank expression and then some numb-faced drooling. Someone was talking. ". . . I cannot interfere with the rules of Crystallia, Bastille."
I fuzzed back into consciousness. Bastille had released me from her unprovoked, unregistered hug and moved on to speak with her father. ...
Tell me this isn't adorable!!!
.... ".....I braced myself for another hug (known in the industry as a "teenage boy forced reboot") but she just stood there, then cursed under her breath and hurried out after her mother. I was left trying to figure out just when things between us had grown so awkward.
(I was tempted to think back on all the good times we had spent together. Bastille smacking me in the face with her handbag. Bastille kicking me in the chest. Bastille making fun of something dumb I'd said. I would probably have a good case for abuse if I hadn't also (1) broken her sword, (2) kicked her first, and (3) been so awesome.)..."
Honestly, if I want to include all the wonderful quotes from this book, I will have to just add the whole of it to the review... It is full of humorous, sad, and very tender moments and I think every person who loves to read for the pleasure of reading would not be sorry if they spend some time reading those short, but full of gems books!!!
So, Grandfather is the greatest, some librarians can be good, Al's mother might actually care for him, literary critics could be good people, despite their ugly dancing, and Al's father is a jerk! At least he is for now, unless he has some agenda and has to hide his feelings from his son... I am hoping for the latter, since otherwise he would be the worst father EVER! (I might be exaggerating slightly, but he realy bugs me with how he is treating Alcatraz! )
.... "I'm no poet. Anytime I try to write poetry, it comes out as insults. I probably should have been a rapper, or at least a politician. Regardless, I sometimes find it hard to express beauty through words...."
Yeaaa, I am not good at the expressing with words thing, but I am sooooooo glad Brandon Sanderson IS!!! You guys have to read it! This is how the author describes his own work, kind of....:
.... "...."They're fun, Mother," he said. "Meaningless, really, but as a diversion I give the genre three out of four marks. This one here was terrible, though. It had all the elements of a great story – a mystical weapon, a boy on a journey, quirky sidekicks. But it ended up ruining itself by trying to say something important, rather than just being amusing."...
I wish all of you Happy Reading and a lot of laughter!!!!