The First Book of Calamity Leek

by Paula Lichtarowicz

Books tell you what to believe.
Books explain the world around you.
What if a book had been written to explain a world constructed for you?
What if that world suddenly fell apart?

Calamity Leek needs a new book, but she's going to have to write it herself.

Genres: Fiction, Contemporary, Cults, Young Adult, Book Club, Adult Fiction, Literary Fiction

320 pages, Paperback

First published February 1, 2013

About the author

Paula Lichtarowicz was born in Cheshire and studied English literature at Durham University and psychology at the University of London. When not writing, she makes television documentaries. She lives in London. THE FIRST BOOK OF CALAMITY LEEK is her debut.

Reviews

[Tiffany PSquared · Rating 3 out of 5]

❝I've been thinking, what is it makes us in here so right, and all them out there so wrong?❞

Life was exactly what it was supposed to be until Truly Polperro tried to lift the sky lid. Calamity Leek and her sisters were preparing for their epic battle against all the world's men - just like every other day - but then Truly had to go Out of Bounds.

This was honestly one of the strangest books I've ever read. I kept thinking, "Surely, after this chapter things will become clearer." Not really. The book is written from the perspective of someone deeply indoctrinated in the beliefs that all men are, in fact, demonmales and need to be eradicated, and that she and her sisters had been plucked from the Garden for just such a task.

What I Liked:
- This was definitely an original story.
- Even though you're made aware that the MC has been rescued (that's not a spoiler), nothing about the story is predictable.
- The MC was unwavering in her convictions - even if they were a bit skewed. It made her unreliability... reliable.

What I Didn't Like:
- I've read it and I still feel like I'm in the dark about several key points. Well, maybe not in the dark, but there are some significant grey patches.
- I didn't connect with the MC. I wanted to like her, support her, root for her. Instead, I often found myself feeling frustrated with her. I wanted to shake her and pull the wool out of her brain.
- I thought it was odd that the other sisters were so willing to believe Annie's stories about the Outside instead of standing with and defending Clam - especially since they all grew up the same way.

What I Wanted More Of:
- Explanations! I can't go into that more because spoilers.

This may be the longest I have ever sat and tried to think about how many stars to rate a book. The book was well written and complex. The story was original and compelling. However, it was a difficult, sometimes confusing read. I gave it 3 stars - not as a punishment for anything being wrong, but because this fits in a certain wheelhouse of readers who I think would enjoy it the most. It's certainly not for everyone. I'm sure an AP literature class could have a ball with this one.

[JimZ · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a very peculiar book. And that is an understatement.

This is a disturbing book.

The book is 307 pages long. I’d say for the first 50 pages with doublespeak and weird language I understood very little. What made me keep on pushing was a GR review several days ago in which the reviewer was going to make this a DNF but kept on with it and gave it a very high recommendation. I thought the reviewer said the first 50 pages made little sense (or was it the first chapter…) and I thought to myself, “well so far I’m with the GR reviewer…. So now it will get better. Now less of the doublespeak and weird language and now I will get a grasp of the novel.”

Wrong-o. ☹

Maybe it was like 100 pages that things started to click. And then only some of what I was reading on that page made sense and only some of the prior 100 pages made some sense.

And then after 150 pages, more things started to make sense on the page I was on, and more stuff from the prior 150 pages made sense
.
And then after 200 pages, it all started making sense (past pages and current page) and I couldn’t put the book down and was horrified and was hoping against hope certain things wouldn’t happen.

The author had me in her grip. I was putty. 😳

There are only three blurbs on the front and back cover of this book that are from reviewers. One is from Mark Haddon and he said ‘wonderfully strange.’ I disagree with the word ‘wonderfully’ as if this was a wonderful walk in the woods. I keep on thinking of the term ‘disturbing’….’disturbingly strange’ was more like it. Elle stated…Hypnotic… as much a hymn to reading as a gripping story.’ Yes, I can concur with that. Lady Magazine (UK) stated…’A mash-up of Margaret Atwood and Roald Dahl.’ I have a suspicion that is accurate from the little I have read of those well-respected authors.
So you might be saying why in the hell would I want to read a book where for at least the first third of the book I am in the dark and for the first half of book I am still not totally getting it. I don’t know how to answer that. The author had me in her grip. I was putty. 😳

So what it’s all about? This is on the inside front cover and I think it describes the book as best it can be described without giving away spoilers.
• Fourteen-year-old Calamity Leek and her sisters spend their days tending white roses and memorizing the lessons in Aunty’s Appendix. A multi-volume compendium of show tunes, beauty regimens, and twisted creation myths. Calamity knows the Appendix front to back, and she is Aunty’s favorite, destined for particular greatness. But when her restless sister Truly Prosperro gets too curious about life beyond their Wall of Safekeeping, she cracks Calamity’s world wide open. Calamity needs a new kook. And she will have to write it herself.
• With formidable imagination and brilliant strangeness, The First Book of Calamity Leek draws on fairy tales and doublespeak to tell a story both classic ands keenly modern. Calamity, fearless and wrenching, leads us to question the stories we ourselves live by.”

Notes
• To Calamity Leek and her sisters, I, a male, would be considered a ‘demonmale’.
• This book reminds me of the movie, The Truman Show. And sort of “The Silence of the Lambs”.
• This was Paula Lichtarowicz’s first novel. She studied English Lit at Durham University and has a master’s degree in psychology from the University of London. She wrote this book before she studied for her master’s.

Reviews (I am looking forward to this because as usual I have not read the reviews prior to writing my review…I hope somebody says something good about this book):
• From a blogger (yep, she and I are on the same page): https://postcardsfrompurgatory.com/20... (Her last three sentences in the review: If you’re really struggling to put this novel in context, if you feel like you’re groping with both hands and grasping nothing, I have two words for you: Miss Havisham. And that is all.)
• There are some spoilers in the review: https://www.independent.co.uk/arts-en...
• From a blogger, and there are some spoilers in the review: https://www.thedailyopinion.co.uk/boo...
• From a blogger, and I liked it and there were no real spoilers in the review: https://leeswammes.wordpress.com/2013...
• Interview of the author by someone who works for Foyles, a UK bookshop (actually several of them in the London area): https://www.foyles.co.uk/Paula-Lichta... (I like the last two sentences of the interview in which she was asked whether she thought this book would be made into a film: I worry about the reductive aspects of film, where various interpreted interior worlds must be boiled down to a screen-printed singularity. At the moment I like the Calamity I have in my head, just as she is, and I'd like other people to experience her in their own head, in their own ways too.

[Leanna · Rating 4 out of 5]

I've never read anything like this!

This crazy book started off with a super-confusing first chapter, during which I had absolutely no idea what I was reading. The blurb about this book (the "Calamity Leek needs to write her own book" one) did not prepare me for what I was getting into. My first thoughts were: huh? wha-whaat? what am I reading? what is going on??

Once I got over my initial absolute confusion, things just kept getting better.

This book is about perspective. It's about worldviews, and how we create them. It's about how we understand the world around us, restricted though our experience may be. It's about storytelling, and discovery, and I loved it.

So, on to the story. I don't want to give away too much (much of the enjoyment of this book is discovering everything as you go), so I'll just say that our narrator, Calamity Leek, has been raised in a strange, secluded, unusual environment. At first when reading, you think that you're reading the ramblings of a crazy girl, but gradually you begin to read between the lines, and form a picture of Calamity's environment. She lives with numerous sisters and their Auntie. She has a book - The Appendix - which basically is the go-to source of information about everything in their small world. We get to hear excerpts from The Appendix, particularly the Story of Creation (which is told early on and which really clears up a lot of the confusion of the beginning chapters).

The beauty of this book lies in the elaborate world that Calamity has created. She is so completely immersed in this world that the Outside World is a mysterious, dangerous place. Interestingly, we also get chapters of the book which occur "after" the main story. The perspective we get in these "after" chapters really adds to the mystery that builds throughout the book. If it had just been a continuous story without the "after" chapters, I don't think I would have enjoyed it as much. But it was those chapters that first led me to suspect that something about Calamity's world wasn't quite right.

We follow the story of the sisters in The Garden until it meets up with those later chapters, and eventually the entire mystery becomes clear. The girls were kidnapped, some when they were just babies, and have been living in isolation in this farm in Wales, not ever having experienced the "real world" outside. All that they know, they "learned" from Auntie and the Appendix, which resulted in their strange male-fearing views. The creativity of the world-building that went into creating the beliefs that the girls were taught was incredible. It even made sense in a warped sort of way.

The theme of nature vs. nurture certainly played out on the side of nurture in this story.

And then, the very end of the story was the most interesting part of all. To see how the different sisters dealt with what happened, and how they dealt with being "Outside". The last few sentences, narrated by Calamity herself, created a huge amount of tension that is left to the reader's imagination to solve. I love the somewhat open-ending of the story - we do have a conclusion to the main events in the book, but are also left with the question: what will Calamity do? And is she in fact "ready" to handle the Real World?

I loved this book, and if you don't mind a "settling in" period at the beginning of a book, when you don't really know for sure what's happening (be reassured that it does all get explained), I would definitely say: read it!

I received an e-copy of this book for review from the publishers via NetGalley.

[Blair · Rating 3 out of 5]

In the first chapter of this novel, the reader is introduced to Calamity Leek, a girl living a distinctly peculiar life - locked away in a self-contained world 'behind the Wall', along with her thirteen (similarly unusually-named) 'sisters'. It's evident from the start that there is something very odd about Calamity's existence and what she believes about both the place she lives in, and the world outside it. A few pages later, in the third chapter, we find Calamity full of anger and confusion, but in a more recognisable setting - what seems to be an ordinary hospital room. She has started writing her own book, to take the place of a tome she relied upon in her previous life. As Calamity writes her story, the strange and shocking truth of that life unfolds.

The book is narrated entirely by Calamity, so we see everything through the filter of her limited, manipulated worldview. Of the 'sisters', Calamity is the one who believes most fervently in the stories she has been told, and it is her refusal to accept there may be any problems with those stories that forms the basis for much of the plot. At the same time, Calamity is so naive that it is easy for the reader to see past her beliefs and understand something of the real story. Beyond that, it's quite difficult to describe what happens and how events unfold without spoiling everything. (With that in mind, I will note here that you might want to stop reading my review now if you have plans to read this book - I have put main plot spoilers under the requisite tags, but some other issues I have mentioned, though they are discussed in general terms, might also be considered spoilers. I don't want to ruin the book for anyone - particularly as I think I enjoyed it more because I didn't any preconceived idea of what was going on and had to make up my own mind.) Obviously, it's evident from the start that Calamity and the other girls have either escaped or been liberated from their 'prison' (or is it? Our heroine certainly seems to feel otherwise) but there's no moment of revelation and no immediate point of understanding for the reader. Instead, the real story trickles through slowly via Calamity's memories of events and conversations.

There's a lot to enjoy and admire about this original debut, which had me glued to the page from the beginning. Although the book is written from the point of view of a child (Calamity's exact age is never specified, but her emotions and learning are so stunted that it feels appropriate to term her as such) and full of phrasing that verges on the annoying, the narrative never put me off - probably because the irritating bits are tempered by humour. There's a very good balance of light and dark throughout and the speed at which the revelations filter through is perfect. Unfortunately, there are significant issues with the plot and, to some extent, the characterisation. Namely: I couldn't truly believe that two people could be so insane in so many different ways, yet still hold together such a complex operation and keep a large group of girls of various ages hidden from the world. I don't know anything about how orphanages are supposed to work, but surely, where children are involved, there would always be some form of outside regulation? Not just (as seems to be the case here) the police, council and whoever else assuming the church are taking care of it all? The more I thought about it the more it seemed obvious that this would never have been possible. I felt similarly about how Calamity was treated in the aftermath of her 'escape': it didn't seem that she had been given any sort of psychological assessment or therapy while in hospital, in fact the few nurses and doctors mentioned appeared to react to her beliefs with nothing more than a slightly bemused attitude! Given the length of her period in captivity, as well as the immediately evident strangeness of her beliefs and those of her 'sisters', this was just beyond unrealistic.

By the end, I found myself a bit conflicted about this book. I found it compelling, I loved the weirdness of it, and I've found myself thinking about it a lot since I finished it, so clear is the picture in my head of the world the girls inhabited. But I also feel that if you start examining the story in any detail whatsoever, it just falls apart: not only in the sense that it isn't believable, but because it's really unclear what the author was trying to achieve with it, what it's actually supposed to mean. I really couldn't figure out whether it was supposed to be interpreted from an ultra-feminist point of view (the literal demonisation of all men and the construction of an all-female, self-sufficient society - if only on a small scale) or whether it's actually incredibly anti- feminist (because the perpetrators of these views are presented as crazy, dangerous, murderous, and because ultimately their experiment fails completely). I also felt the story was trying to make a point about religion and/or terrorism (the religious tones of the stories they were told, and the whole idea of being sent off to 'War', particularly underlined this) but I'm really not sure exactly what this was, and I get the feeling the author was never quite sure either. I would also have liked to know a lot more about the lives of 'Mother' and 'Aunty' before the abductions began - I know the point was that you only saw and heard what Calamity did, but... This was a good example of an author using a child narrator to avoid having to study their adult characters' behaviour in detail, and of unspecified 'madness' being cited as the reason for all kinds of actions.

This book has far too many flaws for my rating to go any higher than three stars, but I would still recommend it. I think what really infuriated me was that the good bits were really, really good - I couldn't help but want to know about everything in the fullest detail, and when the climax and conclusion of the story failed to provide that, I was left frustrated. If you accept the flaws and stick with it, though, there's a great, dark, tantalising (and quite brutally funny) ending which makes up for some of that.

[Maya Panika · Rating 5 out of 5]

It was quite a while before I began to enjoy this. The style is peculiar. It was hard work. For the first several chapters, I had absolutely no idea what was going on (and not sure if I cared very much, either). But then, just as I was wondering if anything was ever going to happen (or indeed, make any sense at all), the fog began to lift, the story began to emerge, the horror of the situation showed its petticoats and suddenly, I was absolutely riveted to the tale of poor, damaged Calamity Leek and her ‘sisters’, who live monastic lives, cloistered behind the high walls of a garden they are forbidden to leave. All their lives, they have lived in strict accord with the rules of their bizarre religion. Until the day that Trudy Polperro dared to peek over the wall…

The story is weird and the characters, positively bizarre – like Aunty, the girl’s apparent guardian: a failed theatrical wannabee, straight out of Julian Clary’s Devil in Disguise. And the even weirder Mother, in her wheelchair and sunglasses, a grotesque straight out of Psychoville.

Extreme, bizarre, surreal and riveting. Very strange and very good.

[Jane · Rating 4 out of 5]

An extraordinary name, an extraordinary world, and an extraordinary story.

Calamity Leek lives a closed world, in a sheltered rose garden surrounded by a high brick wall, one of twelve ‘sisters’ being brought up by the grand, imperious ‘Mother’ and her loyal second-in-command, ‘Aunty’.

Their way of life, everything in their world is governed by a book they must learn by heart. It defines their history, their culture, their view of the world beyond the wall. Everything. And what a strange world it is, with its own dialect, distinctive naming conventions, and a lifestyle that is an odd mixture of the mediaeval and the boarding school.

At first I really wasn’t sure if I was in the past, the present or the future. But as the story progressed I saw patterns I picked up subtle hints, and I came to understand exactly where I was.

That was so well done. The story was told entirely from Calamity’s point of view and yet I both could see what was going on and understand that she could not.

One day Truly Polperro did the unthinkable. She climbed and climbed so that she could look over the wall into the wider world. The world where she and her ‘sisters’ would be going one day to make changes for the better. And then she fell.

What did Truly see? Did she ‘injuns’ who patrolled the great forest beyond the world? Did she see ‘demonmales’? The girls’ was to one day go beyond the wall, to help in the fight against the evil hoards of ‘demonmales’ who made the world such a dreadful place.

Truly was gravely injured and in no state to say much, but she made it clear that what she saw was not what she had expected. Opinion among the ‘sisters’ as to just what it was and just what they should do was sharply divided.

Calamity was their leader, the keeper of the book, and she kept faith with ‘Mother’ and ‘Aunty’ and everything they had taught her. But Dorothy was a bright girl, a rising star, and she wanted to look further and find out more.

Who would prevail?

I hoped and prayed that Calamity would recognise the reality of her situation before before it was too late.

Her credulity, her faith in everything she had been taught, was heart-breaking.

Her world was an extraordinary place, bringing together British traditions, Hollywood musicals, European folklore, and a wealth of little touches from here, there and everywhere. It so inventive, so unique and so beautifully realised.

And those girls! They had their own vocabulary, distinctive turns of phrase, there were so many things that made them distinctive. But I understood the different roles they played in their community, how their relationships worked, and all of that rang so very true. They were real human girls, especially as they chattered and squabbled.

This wasn’t an easy book to read, I had to come to terms with a different world, I had to consider so many ideas that were being thrown into the air, I had to take in so many details, but I found that close attention was richly rewarded.

The language, the intensity, the originality. I really can’t compare this to any other book.

I’ve said a little about the world of Calamity Leek, and there is much, much more to be learned from reading her story.

There were a few things that didn’t quite work, a few small flaws in the logic, but overall the story succeeded. And very much on its own terms.

The richness of the prose, the wealth of ideas, the promise that was always there of much more to come, kept me turning the pages until the very end. A wonderful end that brought everything together beautifully.

[Chaitra · Rating 3 out of 5]

Strange book. I'm not sure what I think about it. I did not hate it, neither did I find it tedious. I wasn't overwhelmed and I guessed what was happening pretty early so it wasn't off-putting. But, I didn't love it either.

I found it terrifying, because I can easily imagine the situation depicted in the book. That there are people crazy enough to do such a thing goes without saying. I can also believe how easy it is to be brain-washed, especially when young and by people pretending to love you. But, I didn't think it radically original, as it does happen in the real world. But it's a neat concept, and generally well executed.

What bothered me though is Calamity Leek, the narrator. She is teacher's pet, sells her sisters out for cake, and doesn't have an independent thought in her head. She has a reason to be so, she's the guardian of the appendix, the bible for these poor girls inside the walled garden. But it makes her completely predictable and boring. It's also false advertising on the book blurb, because she never questions anything, even given the overwhelming evidence in her face. She's also unlike anyone else in another respect. It's amazing how well the other girls seemed to be coping when taken out of that environment, as opposed to Calamity. Surely there would be a few more traumatized sisters?

I received this book via NetGalley for review.

[Leena · Rating 5 out of 5]

Well. That was effed up.

It's a better experience if you don't know anything about this story, going in. Some I'm going to focus on other aspects of the books. Such as:

- The incredibly strong narrative voice
- The fact that this book gave me literal nightmares
- The author keeps messing with you, which I found hilarious
- Just when you laugh, some detail is revealed and you want to barf
- Then, showtunes

Yeah. So, I recommended this one to my husband - to be read immediately. It was certainly right up my alley. The cover said it was a blend of Margaret Atwood and Roald Dahl, which is a pretty accurate assessment. But I'm very excited that it is Paula Lichtarowicz's first book (right?), because that means there are more to come. I'm in.

[Renita D'Silva · Rating 4 out of 5]

Loved this quirky, very original, hard-to-put-down story. Calamity's voice is brilliant and I adored the way the juxtaposition between the world she believes and the real world. I loved the way the truth was revealed to us bit by tantalizing bit. The ending though...it left a sour taste in my mouth, but then that is my opinion. I suppose it suited the story and Calamity, but oh, I wish it had ended differently.

[Haley Wynn · Rating 4 out of 5]

I picked this novel up on a blind whim; while I was casually gliding through the fiction section at my local bookstore, I happened to see the word "Leek" and decided to look at the book. I think I literally screamed giddy squeals when I discovered the most appealing blurb on the back: "A mash-up of Margaret Atwood and Roald Dahl. " - Lady Magazine (UK)

Seeing as I am a fan of Margaret Atwood's fine works of literary art, I thoroughly enjoyed every quirky, obscurely referenced page and struggled with putting it down. The writing style caught me off guard, as it is what I call "first-person literal" (which essentially means that the first-person narrative is written in the exact words and speech style as the character), however much like The Grapes of Wrath I quickly adapted to it and even thought it added originality to the character and the story as a whole. Paula Lichtarowicz has a master's degree in Psychology, which became very clear, therefore I found the collation of psychological sub-topics quite fitting and added depth to the story's point.

If you liked The Handmaid's Tale and The Vegetarian, you will gush, splendidly lovely tears of joy and excitement when you read this novel. It was fabulous!

[Kara · Rating 5 out of 5]

Maybe I should have tried harder, but the language and the plot were so confusing that I had to give up. But, after reading the reviews, it sounds like I would have been rewarded, had I stuck with it. Maybe I'll try again.

UPDATED: tried again. Pushed through the first confusing chapter and this ended up being one of the best books I read in 2016! Couldn't put it down. Hard to review without giving too much away. This book tells the tale of on Ms. Calamity Leek, who finds herself in a most unusual situation -- at least from the reader's perspective. We move back and forth in time with Calamity and come to value perspective, and the human ability to grow and change. The themes are very relevant to our current political environment. Characterization was excellent, and the writing was rich, once you let yourself go inside Calamity's head.

[Krista · Rating 2 out of 5]

I almost set this book down after the first few chapters, when I had NO CLUE what was going on. It did become more clear as the book went on and I'm glad I finished, but it was definitely one of the strangest books I've ever read.

The book is written from the voice of Calamity Leek, who is secluded with her "sisters" and we don't quite know what is going on until over halfway through the novel. I cannot tell in this review because the discovery is one of the main positives in this story. I would have given it three stars because I did find myself enjoying it near the end, but then the ending was very unsatisfying for me so I'm sticking with just 2.

Weird. I would love to chat with anyone else who has read this book!

[Layla · Rating 2 out of 5]

If I was designing a book I was definitely going to like, it might have looked something like this one – coming of age, speculative fiction, strong female narrative voice, school setting, dystopia, cult-ish, character-driven, quirky premise, good reviews. A bit like the brilliant Never Let Me Go. And yet this book infuriated, disturbed and bored me in equal measures. Its technique of slowly revealing what’s happening is just too slow – and confusing and tedious. The characters who should have compelled me left me apathetic. The language annoyed me. The big reveals at the end had insufficient impact because I had ceased to care much. Nicely conceived, poorly executed.

[kels · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was a rough start. It threw me into the middle of a story, and I had a bit of a struggle in getting my bearings. But it still hooked me in, made me want to figure out what was going on, so I continued reading.

And it gradually became a very different story from what I was anticipating. It's all about perspective. As I kept going, I felt a bit off-centre, reading about a girl who I was fairly sure was becoming something of a sympathetic villain. And while Calamity's character arc is entirely realistic and understandable, it was also heartbreaking and disappointing.

[Arlene Allen · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'm not sure what book some people read but this most certainly is not "a mashup of Margaret Atwood and Roald Dahl" - unless those authors were run over by a Stephen King. And it's certainly no fairy tale (not even the Grimmest of Grimms) unless you consider Lord of the Flies" a fairy tale.

This is nothing short of a horror novel of the twisted psychological kind, so disturbing it might keep you up at night.

Unfortunately describing the plot in detail spoils some of the twists and turns but I'll try. Fourteen year old Calamity Leek believes she lives the most idyllic of lives with all of her sisters inside a walled garden full of roses. She is looked after by her beloved Aunty, who teaches them all they need to know of life from Aunty's own Appendix. When one of her sisters sneaks over the garden wall, Calamity's life takes a bizarre turn and nothing will ever be the same for her again.

The book demonstrates how over time one can be made to believe almost anything, especially children, and how some never recover when everything they thought they knew to be true is challenged. It is also a novel of revenge, abuse, and madness. What happens to the children in this book is the stuff of nightmares and there is a good deal of cruelty to animals, so consider yourself warned. It's a subtle horror that insinuates itself into the psyche and the ending will leave you stunned.

It's extremely well written and I found it hard to put down. I am definitely looking forward to more of this author's work.

By the way, you'll never hear theatrical musicals the same way ever again.

[Katy Kelly · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a great read! So glad I asked NewBooks for a review copy.
A truly original viewpoint on the characters' unique situation. This is a book that you have to be careful discussing as you wouldn't want to spoil the surprises and plot for other readers.
It starts with confusion - just what is going on? Where are these girls and why?
Slowly and in drips, their situation is made clearer, lots of 'ohhhhh!' moments.
I was reminded of Boy in the Striped Pajamas for the narrator and confusion and Into the Darkest Corner in terms of the split time periods - while Charity is at St Emily's and at a later date, not.
She's a great choice of narrator. The obvious choice would have been Annie, the girl struggling to see the truth of their lives, not Charity who is so enamoured and blind to the truth that she will not see what the others want to.
Loved this, loved the significance of the names, the dropped clues, the 'outside' chapters and the killer ending!!
Read it, and if you do, don't give up after a couple of chapters... All will be made clear.

[Bookread2day · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read the paperback version. I highly praise Paula Lichtarowicz who has managed to write a very original book that stands out alone. The First Book Of Calamity Leek is a very beautiful book. Each page is dazzling with a prose of words like poetry. Each short chapter had me twitching that wanted me to read on and to know more. The story is told in a very special way that boosts fantasy and illuminates imaginative vibrant characters that each have an inspirational creative voices. I have never read anything quite like this before. This short story is told by calamity Leek who lives with her sixteen sisters in a Garden behind the Wall of Safekeeping who are governed by a book of rules. I highly recommend this extraordinary book because it very utterly different. I hope that many readers will enjoy The First Book Of Calamity Leek as much as I have.

[Mysia Thatcher · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow... This book is strange. This book is crazy. This book is so good! You have to go into it knowing that you aren’t going to have any idea what’s going on for the first 50-100 pages. Somewhere in there, you’ll start understanding what Calamity is talking about, but you still won’t have a clue what is going on in her bizarre world. But stick with it, you’ll get there, and you’ll be glad you did.

Now, I wouldn’t and won’t recommend this book to everyone, not even some of my most avid book-loving friends. Not only is the style of storytelling not easy to manage, the story itself is not for the faint of heart. There are some “Call the Midwife” aspects, but told from the innocent and naive perspective of a child.

We’re told this is Calamity’s first book. If there’s a second, I’ll be reading it!

[Samantha · Rating 4 out of 5]

I mean, really I'm probably at a 3 1/2 stars on this one. what I will give it is points for originality. it was written in unusual language. not quite a clockwork orange, but you had to figure out where you were when the author drops you right in the middle of it.

I've never heard of this book before - for a minute, looking it up on goodreads, I thought, they're not going to find it. I was drawn to the cover, which is beautiful and the title, which is odd. it's a debut novel. what sold me were the cover blurbs - mark haddon saying it was wonderfully strange, which, I don't know what else he said, but that made it sound more whimsical than it was. I mean, it is wonderfully strange, but it's a very dark book. then a british magazine called it "a mash-up of margaret atwood and roald dahl". well, I love margaret atwood and I love roald dahl, so I was intrigued. that's more accurate - if you are thinking of the darker parts of dahl and the darker parts of atwood. although not the feminist parts of atwood. it's not a very feminist tale - which is not at all to say it's sexist or anything like that, it's just kind of "not all men!" in its perspective. and, I mean, we all know not all men. (if you are going to read it, probably don't read the rest of the review because spoilers, which will make you not have to figure out what's going on at the beginning of the novel).

except the girls in the story, because they've been kidnapped and raised by two crazy women who were themselves raised in a home for girls and did not have a good go of it in the world. so everything is told from the perspective of a girl, calamity leek, who has been raised in isolation with her "mother", her "aunty" and a bunch of "sisters". they pick roses to sew the petals into cushions and butcher pigs as practice for their adult life. it's very earthy and calamity is a narrator who you - well, you know she's deeply messed up. it hops around in time a little, that's all quite skillfully done - it's one of those things that you just read and barely notice beyond, oh, ok, this bit's what's happening now, the other is backstory, oh, we've hopped back a bit more, ok, we've gone forward again, just to orient yourself as you read. but probably the author agonized over how to tell the story and where to break off and all of that. so well done. it reads smoothly.

so yes. very unique. I enjoyed reading it. I thought of grey gardens - what if those two were raising a bunch of kidnapped girls. it is quite dark though.

[Jocelyn · Rating 5 out of 5]

Echoing Mark Haddon's cover endorsement, "Wonderfully strange." That it is. This might be the most novel novel I've read this year (55 books up to now.). Lichtarowicz's Calamity Leek is cleverly done, amazing and mesmerizing. Beginning the book I felt completely confused, but at the same time hooked. It is a tale of 16 young girls living in a walled garden isolated from the outside world. The dialogue is intriguing, the language in some ways archaic. Plenty of names to remember and keep sorted. (All the farm animals have names too.) The authority figures are Aunty who calls her charges nieces, and mother who lives mainly in seclusion and when she does make her grand appearances she rides in a motor powered wheelchair. Aunty carries a Mr. Stick. The education is selective and peculiar, all from Aunty’s Appendix, a large binder which she adds to regularly. They learn about the demonmales, and fear the sun (also considered male) and are in terror of ending up in Bowels with the devil. One of their number, Maria Liphook is locked up in isolation and considered looney. They have a strange idea of how they were “grown” by mother. Their idea of the outside world comes from Showreels, musicals in which Aunty starred in her heyday and sings to the children all those classic songs. It is in the Fairy Tale genre, and fairy tales as we know are often dark, not for the squeamish.

And I guess you could compare it to Margaret Atwood’s speculative novels, in particular The Handmaid’s Tale, but… Apart from the high wall, the control and seclusion of a group of women for misogynous reasons, the author’s styles are quite different.
Paula Litchtarowicz has a light way of suggesting things without actually going into the finer details, and what she doesn’t say speaks volumes. The story is told through a 14 year old’s eyes (a naive teenage, in many ways simple, childlike) so the reader has to read between the lines. If, and when, Calamity enters the outside world the shock will be calamitous for her and those close to her. Yep, this is one disturbing book.
This is a book that I could read again. It contains so much food for thought. Oh and humour too.

[Aine · Rating 5 out of 5]

Calamity Leek lives with her 23 sisters behind the Wall of Safe-keeping, under the guardianship of Aunty and Mother, with The Appendix to instruct them how to live good lives. It is through Calamity's eyes (and her wonderful turn of phrase) that we learn of the Outside, of the demonmales that threaten them and of the war that the sisters are preparing to wage. We learn of Dorothy's logic, Annie's curiosity and Maria's descent into madness. However, while some of her sisters start to question their beliefs, Calamity clings to faith and unshaking belief in The Appendix. She is torn between the sisters she loves and her need to save them from themselves.

The First Book of Calamity Leek is a fantastic (quick) read. The story isn't necessarily layered, but the beauty of the book is in the dual telling: Calamity's words and how their meaning for her is different than their meaning for the reader. She earnestly repeats how Aunty refers to the sisters has her "little golden tickets" without deriving any of the meaning from it that the reader does. I love the character of Calamity; although her contrast to Annie is probably intended to show Annie's curiosity and perseverence in a positive light, Calamity also shows fierce determination to hold on to the things she loves. For me, this quote just about sums her up: "Can I thump on your pot, Clam? See if it hurts?" Well, I let her, and it does".

[Artemiz · Rating 4 out of 5]

The First Book of Calamity Leek by Paula Lichtarowicz is one really strange book.

At first I thought this story is about girls in a loony-pin, then in a nunnery, then in a cult. Then was said they where in Wales, so I thought they where in nunnery's asylum for abused girls. For a while there I was reminded of a movie Sucker Punch. Then again I was more inclined that it was a cult that raises girls for human-trafficking. At the end come out it was "Nunnery's orphanage" for abducted girls who where raised in a "cult" for selling to the highest bidder whom they would kill shortly after arriving. I told you - really strange book.

Usually when I read a book I envy the author for having such a imagination to come up with such a stories - not this time ... this time I wonder what kind of hurt has she herself lived through to come up with such a story.

It was a good book, you just got to be ready to read something shocking.

[Kristy · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was one of the most interesting I've read-- I saw one description that called it a combination of Roald Dahl and Margaret Atwood, and I think that's pretty accurate, as odd as it is to imagine. The language and descriptions were so unique and actually a challenge to read... they got easier as it went on, because you started getting more and more context and clues.

The thing that made this book extra special was the choice of narrator. Usually in dystopian-style (though this book isn't exactly a dystopian novel... I can't think of the exact word of what it would be), the narrator is the outlier, the rebel, the outcast, the one plotting against the establishment, having their eyes opened, wondering about the past or the outside or the other or whatever. But Calamity Leek is a die-hard believer. It throws a totally different spin on the story. Overall would definitely recommend!

[Kris · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is a cautionary tale about dogma, what happens when shitty people raise kids, a horror tale about not having the ability to think for oneself, and the bad, bad affects of peer pressure.

Calamity is not a hero, or even very likable and I wish the author would write two additional books about these characters. The first one about Calamity’s realization of how weak brained she is, including every last detail on the soul crushing guilt that would come with that realization. The second one from Annie St. Alban’s POV, as I identify her as the true protagonist.

So why four stars, since it seems like I didn’t like it? Here’s why. I did like it. Just because I don’t like or connect with Calamity, doesn’t mean it’s not a good story. It is well written, different, an appropriate use of the second person POV, and it made me have a lot of emotions. Emotions such as contempt, loathe, frustration, and rage. Honestly though, I couldn’t put the book down.

[Jen · Rating 1 out of 5]

One of the most frustrating books I've read in a long time. Mainly because of our narrator Calamity Leek who's intriguing at first while you're trying to figure out what's going on in this story, but turns out to be the dumbest, dullest character I've ever met in a setting that had the potential to be so great. While I respect that this book didn't take the typical dystopian perspective of a rebel-type who fights back against the society in which she lives, I still found myself wishing Clam would at least eventually open her eyes and be open to ideas contrary to what she'd been taught all her life. A good metaphor for how many people view the world, but I didn't need that life lesson reinforced. The language was annoying and nothing in this story felt real to me. It was all too much and not enough at the same time.

[Lucy Ashby · Rating 4 out of 5]

I had no idea what this book was about before I started reading it, and after the first few pages I did not think that I was going to enjoy it. However when it dawned on me what was going on I was compelled to keep reading and found that I could not put it down.

This is a tragic tale about a group of young girls, but it is told very cleverly and with humour. There are many moments you can't help but smile at even though you are increasingly aware of the sinister meaning behind them.

I don't want to talk about the story as looking back I am glad that I did not know what to expect when I started reading. But if you enjoy a dark tale, one that is sadly not completly outside the realms of possibility, I would recommend giving this a go.

[For Books' Sake · Rating 4 out of 5]

"A fantastical, peculiar, and brilliantly-executed début, Paula Lichtarowicz’s The First Book of Calamity Leek is a rollicking take on dystopian fiction.

The eponymous, teenage Calamity Leek lives in a sheltered rose garden along with her ‘sisters’ – an all-female world entirely unto itself, surrounded by a high brick wall, and ruled over by the distant, tyrannous ‘Mother’ and her henchman ‘Aunty’." (Excerpt from full review at For Books' Sake.)

[Lavender Sparrow · Rating 3 out of 5]

As calamity Leek herself would say
Well
Well what a dark and emotional story.

To start with you have to be committed to reading this because it is completely confusing and doesn't make one bit of sense. But stick with it and everything will become clear.

The blurb doesn't really give you much information, just enough to make you want to read it so I was totally unprepared for what was at its heart a very tragic tale.
Normal I wouldn't read this kind of book but it was almost written like a fairytale which I can never resist.

A beautiful written story that has left its mark on me.

[thelittlestpickle · Rating 2 out of 5]

This was gifted to me, so I felt obligated to finish it, but I wish I hadn't LOL

I found it intriguing from a reverse-convert perspective, but genuinely hated Calamity. Doublespeak is always exhausting for me, but especially in this context. This is probably only the second time I've ever said this, but I think this would be much more effective as a film. Or at least with anyone else as the narrator.

[Anna · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 stars. i love a good weird book and this was definitely a very good, very weird book. if you don't mind not having a clue what's going on for the first couple of chapters but watching it all unfurl with horror and intrigue then i definitely recommend