The Sea is Wide: A Memoir of Caregiving

by Rundy Purdy

When Rundy Purdy was twenty-four he began caring for his grandfather who was sick with Alzheimer's. This started a three year battle against inevitable decline, a journey across confused days and long nights.

With compassion, hope, and a strong dose of gritty realism, The Sea is Wide tells the story of how a grandfather and his grandson crossed the wide sea of Alzheimer's. It is a tale of losses, but even more of things found in spite of what is lost. It is about giving bedtime stories, hugs, and a lot of coffee. It is a story of laughter even in the presence of sadness.

The sea of Alzheimer's is wide, but it can be crossed. In writing that is by turns uplifting and poignant, Rundy shares his journey of perseverance and love.

Louise O'Keefe, PhD, CRNP says, “It is a must-read for those taking care of loved ones suffering from Alzheimer’s and for those in the medical and nursing profession. I will definitely recommend this book to my patients and nursing students.”

351 pages, Kindle Edition

First published May 21, 2015

About the author

Rundy Purdy is the author of the two novels The Stuttering Bard of York, and its sequel The Stuttering Duke of York. He has also published a book about his time caring for his grandfather, who suffered from Alzheimer's, titled "The Sea is Wide: A Memoir of Caregiving". To help other caregivers he created the website http://www.caregivingreality.com

Rundy enjoys writing, drawing, and thinking but not necessarily in that order. When he has time he likes to bike, walk, and build things. Creativity in its many forms is a delight for him.

Reviews

[Diane Lybbert · Rating 4 out of 5]

I absolutely love memoirs. Some can be pretty self-serving and annoying, some can be introspective and heart-breaking. Purdy's book is the latter. Called in at age 24, he lives with his Grandma and Grandpa after Grandpa is diagnosed with Alzheimer's. With no medical background or caregiving experience, he feels his way through the progression of the disease over 2+ years, always keeping his Grandpa's dignity at the top of his priorities. With love, and a LOT of patience, he cares for Grandpa in unique and effective ways. I was surprised over the course of the memoir that he didn't consult with geriatric doctors or Alzheimer's experts to get information and advice (or if he did consult anyone, he didn't mention it). He let his love for Grandpa, and Grandpa's own declining abilities lead the way. His Grandma had a heart condition, and was not well and strong, either, but his focus was always on Grandpa. Some reviews chastise Grandma for her seeming lack of compassion for Grandpa, and not helping him more. But, I think she was dealing with her own failing health (and possibly a bit of resentment that she was not the one getting the extra care). So I cut her some slack on that one. This is an excellent memoir. There are still a few grammatical/punctuation errors that could be cleaned up, but overall a wonderful read.

[Patty Boyte · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book has been sitting on my tbr pile for quite some time. It has familial connection. I’ve never met Mr. Ike Purdy or Mr Rundy Purdy except by word of mouth. Memoirs tend to be my least favorite read, but I knew Mr. Doug Purdy as a child. It was a wonderful visit with him here as he was exactly who and how I remembered him, ever a kind hearted gentleman. This fact alone gives much weight to Purdy’s words.

I appreciate Rundy’s fundamental purity with his approach to caregiving his grandfather whose generation used honor and respect like currency. What an honor has been given with this book that we could look at a young man’s journey through a horrible disease and his desire to afford his grandfather every ounce of dignity Alzheimer’s stole.

Thank you, Rundy.

[Jennifer · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is not an easy book to read, as it is the story of a young man's care for his grandfather in his last years of life, suffering with Alzheimer's Disease. As a nurse and some one who cared for my mother in law, I can relate to some of the stories he shared.
This is a thoughtful book with pertinent observations and reflections on the last years of a well loved family member. I think anyone struggling with Alzheimer's in their family or friends would find this of benefit. It also is a helpful book for anyone caring for a family member.

[Pam Mooney · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book! The author had a great mom to raise someone who can have such empathy and compassion for his ailing grandfather. He was care giving at a relatively young age which may be the key to his success. I loved the stories about trying to let his grandfather keep his dignity through what both thought were kind of funny situations. While the circumstance is terribly sad the story as a whole is uplifting and full of stories and hugs that will touch your heart. Truly a role model for those who find themselves care giving regardless of the disease. A good read.

[Kristina Aziz · Rating 3 out of 5]

I got this book in a Goodreads Giveaway.

So, I don't know anyone who has lost their mind yet. I myself am scared of getting old. According to this book, for good reason. I'm sure to an older crowd this is a lovely memoir of a son caring for his father. To me it's a reminder of why I'm glad I'm not an only child nor my parent's favorite, and validated my already existing fear of age.

Maybe it's my generation's mindset. Maybe it's me. But this was certainly a good book for halloween--I can't imagine ever having to do what Purdy did.

[Kathy Brown · Rating 5 out of 5]

Learned from this

Good book on caring for a person with debilitating disease. Very sad but also lots of humor. Author took care of his grandfather until his death.