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Raising Ryland: Our Story of Parenting a Transgender Child with No Strings Attached
This powerful, moving story—which has already touched more than seven million through a viral video created by the Whittington family—is a mother’s first-hand account of her emotional choice to embrace her transgender child.
When Hillary and Jeff Whittington posted a YouTube video chronicling their five-year-old son Ryland’s transition from girl to boy, they didn’t expect it to be greeted with such fervor. Beautiful and moving, the video documenting Hillary’s and Jeff’s love for their child instantly went viral and has been seen by more than seven million viewers since its posting in May 2014.
Now for the first time, they tell their story in full, offering an emotional and moving account of their journey alongside their exceptional child. After they discovered their daughter Ryland was deaf at age one and needed cochlear implants, the Whittingtons spent nearly four years successfully teaching Ryland to speak. But once Ryland gained the power of speech, it was time for them to listen as Ryland insisted, “I am a boy!” And listen they did. After learning that forty-one percent of people who identify as transgender attempt to take their own lives, Hillary and her husband Jeff made it their mission to support their child—no matter what.
From the earliest stages of deciphering Ryland through clothing choices to examining the difficult conversations that have marked every stage of Ryland’s transition, Hillary Whittington shares her experiences as a mother through it all, demonstrating both the resistance and support that their family has encountered as they try to erase the stigma surrounding the word “transgender.” In telling her family’s story, she hopes she can assist the world in accepting that even children as young as five, can have profound and impactful things to say and share. What emerges is a powerful story of unconditional love, accepting others for who they are, and doing what’s right, regardless of whether those around you understand it.
When Hillary and Jeff Whittington posted a YouTube video chronicling their five-year-old son Ryland’s transition from girl to boy, they didn’t expect it to be greeted with such fervor. Beautiful and moving, the video documenting Hillary’s and Jeff’s love for their child instantly went viral and has been seen by more than seven million viewers since its posting in May 2014.
Now for the first time, they tell their story in full, offering an emotional and moving account of their journey alongside their exceptional child. After they discovered their daughter Ryland was deaf at age one and needed cochlear implants, the Whittingtons spent nearly four years successfully teaching Ryland to speak. But once Ryland gained the power of speech, it was time for them to listen as Ryland insisted, “I am a boy!” And listen they did. After learning that forty-one percent of people who identify as transgender attempt to take their own lives, Hillary and her husband Jeff made it their mission to support their child—no matter what.
From the earliest stages of deciphering Ryland through clothing choices to examining the difficult conversations that have marked every stage of Ryland’s transition, Hillary Whittington shares her experiences as a mother through it all, demonstrating both the resistance and support that their family has encountered as they try to erase the stigma surrounding the word “transgender.” In telling her family’s story, she hopes she can assist the world in accepting that even children as young as five, can have profound and impactful things to say and share. What emerges is a powerful story of unconditional love, accepting others for who they are, and doing what’s right, regardless of whether those around you understand it.
253 pages, Paperback
First published February 23, 2016
97 people are currently reading
1727 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 190 reviews
December 22, 2021
So because your gender non-conforming little girl isn't girly enough, you're going to permanently sterilize her and cause her lifelong health issues because you want attention? This stuff is coached. 5 year olds do not understand these things. Why can't she just be a tomboy? Why can't she be female but like whatever the hell she wants to like and dress how she wants? I couldn't finish reading this book because it's not right. Yet there are so many five stars on this book because people eat this stuff up right now because trans stuff is trendy. These parents are cruel and I'm so sorry for this little girl.
April 3, 2016
This was one of the 'readers also enjoyed' books for Becoming Nicole. A lot of similarities—a kid who knew early that the way others were identifying said kid was wrong; parents who were resistant at first but came around relatively quickly; a mother who came around faster than the father; etc.
To be honest, although it was an interesting read, what I focused on more were the things that I just. didn't. get. The insistence of all the adults that a girl had to wear lots of pink and bows and so on, for example: they take the idea of a girl wearing Star Wars underwear, for example, very seriously. Granted, my upbringing was hippie-go-liberal, and my brother and sister and I shared a lot of clothing. My brother in particular did not conform to the gender norms that the people in this book would want him to: he occasionally wore dresses, or purple shirts with flowers on them, or nail polish; we all wore lots of unisex shorts—my brother's favourite pair was bright pink—and at one point my mother sewed my brother a jacket with fire trucks on it. 'What colour do you want?' she asked. 'Pink!' he said. So the jacket was neon pink, and the trucks were neon turquoise. My brother had longer hair than I did for years (we used to be mistaken for identical twin sisters), and I was in university before I learned to put my hair in a ponytail. And guess what? My brother, now in his twenties, is straight AF and stereotypically masculine. (I, also in my twenties, am decidedly not straight AF, but I'm a cisgender female who lives in skirts and dresses and can count on one hand the number of times I've worn jeans in public in the last year. How's that for gender/sexuality stereotyping?)
My point, if I even have one, is that I just find it utterly confounding that so many of the people represented in Raising Ryland find it problematic—find it scandalous, even—that a little girl might be a tomboy. (I'm talking about the period before the parents concluded that Ryland was indeed transgender, obviously.) This has to do less with the book and more with the stuff it covers, of course, but, but, why? What's wrong with being a tomboy? What's wrong, if you do identify as a girl, with not wanting to wear sparkly pink skirts and dresses? (What's wrong, if you do identify as a boy, with wanting to wear said skirts and dresses?)
Whittington notes, later on, that once they'd accepted Ryland's identity as a boy, he started to relax some of his reluctance about using 'girl' things—e.g., he would ride his sister's pink scooter. I would have loved to see that explored more. Makes me wonder whether it might have been easier or harder for him if the adults in his life had been more accepting of kids not playing to gender stereotypes (easier for obvious reasons, harder because it might have taken them longer to accept that he was a boy rather than a tomboy).
I don't say all this to criticise the parents; it sounds like they're doing the absolute best they can by their kids, and most of the above comments are much less about the book than they are about the general state of the way people view gender. Going back to the book, though, I'm just glad that Ryland has such strong advocates, because this is really only the beginning.
To be honest, although it was an interesting read, what I focused on more were the things that I just. didn't. get. The insistence of all the adults that a girl had to wear lots of pink and bows and so on, for example: they take the idea of a girl wearing Star Wars underwear, for example, very seriously. Granted, my upbringing was hippie-go-liberal, and my brother and sister and I shared a lot of clothing. My brother in particular did not conform to the gender norms that the people in this book would want him to: he occasionally wore dresses, or purple shirts with flowers on them, or nail polish; we all wore lots of unisex shorts—my brother's favourite pair was bright pink—and at one point my mother sewed my brother a jacket with fire trucks on it. 'What colour do you want?' she asked. 'Pink!' he said. So the jacket was neon pink, and the trucks were neon turquoise. My brother had longer hair than I did for years (we used to be mistaken for identical twin sisters), and I was in university before I learned to put my hair in a ponytail. And guess what? My brother, now in his twenties, is straight AF and stereotypically masculine. (I, also in my twenties, am decidedly not straight AF, but I'm a cisgender female who lives in skirts and dresses and can count on one hand the number of times I've worn jeans in public in the last year. How's that for gender/sexuality stereotyping?)
My point, if I even have one, is that I just find it utterly confounding that so many of the people represented in Raising Ryland find it problematic—find it scandalous, even—that a little girl might be a tomboy. (I'm talking about the period before the parents concluded that Ryland was indeed transgender, obviously.) This has to do less with the book and more with the stuff it covers, of course, but, but, why? What's wrong with being a tomboy? What's wrong, if you do identify as a girl, with not wanting to wear sparkly pink skirts and dresses? (What's wrong, if you do identify as a boy, with wanting to wear said skirts and dresses?)
Whittington notes, later on, that once they'd accepted Ryland's identity as a boy, he started to relax some of his reluctance about using 'girl' things—e.g., he would ride his sister's pink scooter. I would have loved to see that explored more. Makes me wonder whether it might have been easier or harder for him if the adults in his life had been more accepting of kids not playing to gender stereotypes (easier for obvious reasons, harder because it might have taken them longer to accept that he was a boy rather than a tomboy).
I don't say all this to criticise the parents; it sounds like they're doing the absolute best they can by their kids, and most of the above comments are much less about the book than they are about the general state of the way people view gender. Going back to the book, though, I'm just glad that Ryland has such strong advocates, because this is really only the beginning.
February 10, 2017
I'm super torn on this book, and I've been trying to process my thoughts on it into a concise opinion, but it hasn't happened and I finished it a week ago. So here's my ramble, presented in no particular order and as bullet points:
* I realize Ryland is a child, and I don't expect him to write his own book necessarily, but his opinions and feelings were missing from a lot of this book. I'm not a big fan of writing that seeks to educate people on a marginalized population and then doesn't include the "voices" of that population. Even if Ryland was too young, I would have loved to see a forward/afterward/SOMETHING from a person who is transgender.
* The book glanced off of some very divisive and important topics. Ryland is deaf and has cochlear implants. That's really controversial, and while the book touched on the controversy I would have liked to see some indication that they looked at both sides of the issue. Or even more education on why implants are controversial. Since his deafness is a focus of the book, there needed to be education written in.
* There are several places where the book veers very close to "inspiration porn."
* For a parent of a gender non-conforming kid, the author seems very very invested in the gender binary. To the point that it's annoying and frustrating.
* This family's story is genuinely touching, and these parents really are excellent role models for parents of kids who are transgender. This is a very timely and important topic, and I applaud the courage it took to put their personal story out into the world.
*There's an excellent section that I'd love to see expanded into a parenting guide. It includes copies of the resources the Whittingtons used, the text of the letter they sent when Ryland started his transition, and a breakdown of the steps they followed or wish they had followed. Most of this was super clear and informative.
Final Thoughts: This book is important simply because it exists. Hopefully it will help people feel less alone. However, once I've given it credit for existing and given the Whittingtons credit for being amazing parents, I would like to be able to say, "and the book was amazing" rather than, "and the book was...good...but it had some problems I just couldn't get out of my head."
* I realize Ryland is a child, and I don't expect him to write his own book necessarily, but his opinions and feelings were missing from a lot of this book. I'm not a big fan of writing that seeks to educate people on a marginalized population and then doesn't include the "voices" of that population. Even if Ryland was too young, I would have loved to see a forward/afterward/SOMETHING from a person who is transgender.
* The book glanced off of some very divisive and important topics. Ryland is deaf and has cochlear implants. That's really controversial, and while the book touched on the controversy I would have liked to see some indication that they looked at both sides of the issue. Or even more education on why implants are controversial. Since his deafness is a focus of the book, there needed to be education written in.
* There are several places where the book veers very close to "inspiration porn."
* For a parent of a gender non-conforming kid, the author seems very very invested in the gender binary. To the point that it's annoying and frustrating.
* This family's story is genuinely touching, and these parents really are excellent role models for parents of kids who are transgender. This is a very timely and important topic, and I applaud the courage it took to put their personal story out into the world.
*There's an excellent section that I'd love to see expanded into a parenting guide. It includes copies of the resources the Whittingtons used, the text of the letter they sent when Ryland started his transition, and a breakdown of the steps they followed or wish they had followed. Most of this was super clear and informative.
Final Thoughts: This book is important simply because it exists. Hopefully it will help people feel less alone. However, once I've given it credit for existing and given the Whittingtons credit for being amazing parents, I would like to be able to say, "and the book was amazing" rather than, "and the book was...good...but it had some problems I just couldn't get out of my head."
March 12, 2016
I gained a better understanding of gender dysphoria in children from this read. The family's access to medical and mental health care, money for things not covered by insurance, and their child's rather extraordinary ability to express himself verbally and persistently obviously contributed greatly to their successful story. Additionally, they had almost 100% support from their immediate families. I feel sad for families, children, and adults without the same resources. I admire Ryland's parents for their ability to deal with the anxiety, fear, and shame they experienced. I can't help but wonder if this might have been their first experiences of 'being different'. Looking at Ryland's face in the photos included in the book made me smile - what a remarkable little boy he is. His bravery will serve him well in the years to come.
September 18, 2018
Skeptical
Although this family's journey is worth the read, I have many doubts that a child at 20 months and then at 4 years old can definitively say she is a boy . Some examples that the author attributes to a transgender issue, such a drastic move from girl to boy , are debatable. A willful toddler bent on having her way to be a boy calls to question how a child so young could possibly make a life changing decision. The author gives too much credit to a toddler's ability to reason logically. In pictures Ryland could be any girl in jeans, tee shirts.In my opinion too much emphasis was put on clothing choices and toy choices. The author enabled this child to be convinced she was a boy by appeasing a temper tantrum ing toddler. I wish them the best but personally do not believe the brain and heart came programmed a boy in a girl's body. More research is needed in transgender issues and mental health issues that might be the root of this confusing, hard to accept condition.
Although this family's journey is worth the read, I have many doubts that a child at 20 months and then at 4 years old can definitively say she is a boy . Some examples that the author attributes to a transgender issue, such a drastic move from girl to boy , are debatable. A willful toddler bent on having her way to be a boy calls to question how a child so young could possibly make a life changing decision. The author gives too much credit to a toddler's ability to reason logically. In pictures Ryland could be any girl in jeans, tee shirts.In my opinion too much emphasis was put on clothing choices and toy choices. The author enabled this child to be convinced she was a boy by appeasing a temper tantrum ing toddler. I wish them the best but personally do not believe the brain and heart came programmed a boy in a girl's body. More research is needed in transgender issues and mental health issues that might be the root of this confusing, hard to accept condition.
August 2, 2023
This was an incredibly moving memoir about parenting both a trans child and a child born deaf. I was a bit nervous before I started this would be one of those preachy Christian memoirs but while there were a couple of parts about God and the Church, overwhelmingly it was more just a story about love and acceptance and learning to do what's best for your child even though it might cost you personal relationships and more. Great on audio narrated by Ryland's mother. This is a must-read for anyone going through similar circumstances or wanting to learn how to support trans children. HIGHLY recommended!
April 21, 2016
As a parent I couldn't think of having to go through this with my child. How does a 2 or 3 year old know he is a transgender. This should've been left alone until the child was older. I don't want to sound mean but it seems like these parents like being on you tube and being fawned over because their child is different then others. It also seems Mom is remembering things her way. I know of no 5 year old who is as mature as that.
If I had told my parents I want to be a boy, they would have said okay go outside and play. Children like to pretend it's part of growing up.
I wish Ryland and the family the best in life.
If I had told my parents I want to be a boy, they would have said okay go outside and play. Children like to pretend it's part of growing up.
I wish Ryland and the family the best in life.
April 20, 2016
I am a bookseller at a local, independent bookstore and read this book in ARC form.
As someone with a social worker background I felt drawn to this book because of its progressive, and controversial, content. I had heard of Ryland, back when he was originally making headlines, but I had never really heard his story the way it deserved to be heard.
Going into this book I definitely had a bias. I am absolutely not a fan of the new trend regarding parents turning their families, and children, into YouTube stars. I was thinking to myself, "What kind of parents would put their child on the internet, especially during the most intense, traumatic experience of their entire life?" I told myself that I needed to put my bias aside and read this book, however, because I felt there was a good chance that, even if I disapprove of the parent's parenting style, my life might be bettered by learning about this incredibly brave child.
Throughout the book my opinion of the Whittington family changed. While at the beginning I was shouting out loud "how could you not notice your child's pain?" by the end I was fully aware of how difficult the decision to acknowledge their once-daughter as their son must have really been.
I think that the book was well written. It was a very easy-read, as Mrs. Whittington is certainly no seasoned author, just someone looking to tell their story and help others. I think that this book would be a wonderful read for anyone with a transgendered friend/family member, or anyone looking to be more understanding towards the plight of transgendered individuals.
Prior to reading this book I could only imagine the difficulties that face transgendered individuals, and I had never even thought about the added difficulty of being a transgendered child. After reading this book I have a much greater understanding of the experience that a transgendered individual goes through, yes, but I also have something I never had before, and that is a greater understanding of the experience of the family of the transgendered individual. A supportive family can make all the difference.
As someone with a social worker background I felt drawn to this book because of its progressive, and controversial, content. I had heard of Ryland, back when he was originally making headlines, but I had never really heard his story the way it deserved to be heard.
Going into this book I definitely had a bias. I am absolutely not a fan of the new trend regarding parents turning their families, and children, into YouTube stars. I was thinking to myself, "What kind of parents would put their child on the internet, especially during the most intense, traumatic experience of their entire life?" I told myself that I needed to put my bias aside and read this book, however, because I felt there was a good chance that, even if I disapprove of the parent's parenting style, my life might be bettered by learning about this incredibly brave child.
Throughout the book my opinion of the Whittington family changed. While at the beginning I was shouting out loud "how could you not notice your child's pain?" by the end I was fully aware of how difficult the decision to acknowledge their once-daughter as their son must have really been.
I think that the book was well written. It was a very easy-read, as Mrs. Whittington is certainly no seasoned author, just someone looking to tell their story and help others. I think that this book would be a wonderful read for anyone with a transgendered friend/family member, or anyone looking to be more understanding towards the plight of transgendered individuals.
Prior to reading this book I could only imagine the difficulties that face transgendered individuals, and I had never even thought about the added difficulty of being a transgendered child. After reading this book I have a much greater understanding of the experience that a transgendered individual goes through, yes, but I also have something I never had before, and that is a greater understanding of the experience of the family of the transgendered individual. A supportive family can make all the difference.
March 5, 2016
Tissues! You will need tissues! At least, I needed them as I lay in bed last night reading this amazingly heartfelt story of Hillary and her love for her son.
I have to admit, when I first picked up the book, I was a little skeptical. I mean, how does a child Ryland's age know what is best for him? However, reading what Ryland and his family went through during those first five years of his life and just hearing about what one small change to could to him made me re-think everything I had ever believed about transgender people.
To see such unconditional love from his family, to see how Hillary, over time, could see what was happening and doing everything she could to prepare for the day she knew was coming and how she could help others understand made me want to jump up and applaud her. The most important person in her life right at that moment was Ryland and making sure he felt safe and loved. My heart broke as Ryland began the conversation but was put together again by the way Hillary...and her family, handled it.
If you had ever wondered what being transgender means or what a family goes through with the realization that their beautiful daughter is really a handsome son, then you NEED to read about this family.
Hillary, Jeff, Ryland and Brynley, you all should stand up and take a bow. What you are doing in this world will ultimately make it a safer place to truly be who you are...not who everyone expects you to be. THANK YOU for sharing your story. I believe that my life is much richer for having read about yours.
I have to admit, when I first picked up the book, I was a little skeptical. I mean, how does a child Ryland's age know what is best for him? However, reading what Ryland and his family went through during those first five years of his life and just hearing about what one small change to could to him made me re-think everything I had ever believed about transgender people.
To see such unconditional love from his family, to see how Hillary, over time, could see what was happening and doing everything she could to prepare for the day she knew was coming and how she could help others understand made me want to jump up and applaud her. The most important person in her life right at that moment was Ryland and making sure he felt safe and loved. My heart broke as Ryland began the conversation but was put together again by the way Hillary...and her family, handled it.
If you had ever wondered what being transgender means or what a family goes through with the realization that their beautiful daughter is really a handsome son, then you NEED to read about this family.
Hillary, Jeff, Ryland and Brynley, you all should stand up and take a bow. What you are doing in this world will ultimately make it a safer place to truly be who you are...not who everyone expects you to be. THANK YOU for sharing your story. I believe that my life is much richer for having read about yours.
March 4, 2016
Ryland and his family's story is one of courage and love. The author was honest and open with her concerns and sadness surrounding her child's gender nonconformity. The multi-layered feeling and thought processes were explored and demonstrated well. From what I've read here, this is a beautiful and loving family. Ryland is a very special little boy.
My only negative comment about the Audiobook is that, if you choose to read your own book, please make sure that you're able to say 'kindergarten' and not 'kindeeegardin'. I realize that this is being picky and may come across as trivial and rude, but it really does distract from the story.
My only negative comment about the Audiobook is that, if you choose to read your own book, please make sure that you're able to say 'kindergarten' and not 'kindeeegardin'. I realize that this is being picky and may come across as trivial and rude, but it really does distract from the story.
March 13, 2016
Straightforward and honestly written, Whittington's book about her Trans son, Ryland is a super engaging read about inspiringly open-minded people who rise to the occasion by allowing love to guide their decisions. Ryland is a brave kid, and while there's a little more God in this book than I would have preferred, the people here are adherents to a non-judgmental God who's got room for everyone, and that, at least, is hard to have problems with. I'm glad that this book exists and that it points the way for people who need it with information and compassion.
December 4, 2015
Such a tough but timely topic. I admire this family and their overwhelming acceptance.
March 21, 2016
I loved this story. I was able to stop and think about how I have parented my three daughters. Thank you!
March 18, 2016
Much respect for this young family who chose to live in the reality of their situation and to their families that supported them.
August 2, 2023
“Don’t Say Gay” is the black cloud over Florida - the Whittington’s are lucky to be in progressive and liberal California. Hillary should send her letter to Ron DeSantis, he certainly needs to be enlightened. The LBGTQ community here is trampled on, maligned and greatly misunderstood. The Governor fosters this attitude.
This is a beautiful story that needed to be told. My other readings on the subject ALL indicate that as a very young child most trans kids felt their outsides didn’t match their insides. They weren’t lucky enough to have Hillary as a mother, so it wasn’t until adulthood that they felt comfortable coming out. The more I read, the more I learn - I wish DeSantis would do the same. He has sent Florida back to the Middle Ages.
Ryland asks “why did God make me this way?” Well, he didn’t!! Genetics determine how you will develop. Your deafness and your transgender body are what make you who you are, just like your blue eyes and blonde hair. God is the Christian Crutch!!
I still have many unanswered questions. What happens if a girl falls in love with Ryland? I wish there was a sequel following Ryland’s teenage years.
This is a beautiful story that needed to be told. My other readings on the subject ALL indicate that as a very young child most trans kids felt their outsides didn’t match their insides. They weren’t lucky enough to have Hillary as a mother, so it wasn’t until adulthood that they felt comfortable coming out. The more I read, the more I learn - I wish DeSantis would do the same. He has sent Florida back to the Middle Ages.
Ryland asks “why did God make me this way?” Well, he didn’t!! Genetics determine how you will develop. Your deafness and your transgender body are what make you who you are, just like your blue eyes and blonde hair. God is the Christian Crutch!!
I still have many unanswered questions. What happens if a girl falls in love with Ryland? I wish there was a sequel following Ryland’s teenage years.
April 8, 2023
Phenomenally brave and every word rings true. As the mother of a trans son, I’m so grateful that more of us are speaking our truths and books like this helps everyone love their authentic lives. It’s heartbreaking to read reviews from people who have such a warped and close-minded view of the world that they doubt the sincerity and humanity of these parents.
May 21, 2016
I have mixed feelings about Raising Ryland. It's a very quick and easy read but, like many memoirs, it had a slight ring of narcissism. Having said that, I think it's worth reading if you're curious about the story of Ryland's transition from female to male -- and you should definitely read Raising Ryland if you've seen the video and come away from it feeling like the Whittingtons have lost their minds. I think personally that there are things that they've done right and wrong. That's true, of course, of all parents. What's really important is that you come away from the reading understanding why they made the choice to allow a 5-year-old child to transition: purely to protect him from the 41% suicide rate that afflicts those who are transgender and to help him become happy in his own skin.
I think the one thing that is missing from the book is references/resources. The author talked about books she read on the subject of gender dysphoria, people she spoke to, and a support group her family joined but she did not include a list of resources at the end of the book. For those in search of further information, I'd advise taking notes while you read it.
I think the one thing that is missing from the book is references/resources. The author talked about books she read on the subject of gender dysphoria, people she spoke to, and a support group her family joined but she did not include a list of resources at the end of the book. For those in search of further information, I'd advise taking notes while you read it.
October 31, 2021
I read it. One reviewer called it “inspirational porn” I felt a bit like a voyeur reading it and it seemed more Hillary’s story than Ryland. I was waiting for her to Pat herself on the back for choosing a gender neutral name and was not disappointed. I know families dealing with this and would love their impression of the book. I agree with reviewers who noted cochlear implant is given short shrift. I have taught children who have them and it’s a big deal for a child. I t sets them apart in the classroom, the devices malfunction, the batteries die, the child needs special support, often speech is difficult to understand. It would be a BIG deal to have a cochlear implant AND transition from female to male.
May 26, 2016
Two years ago I watched the viral video of Ryland Whittington without knowing what it was about. Before watching I did not know anything about being Transgender and to be honest I probably would not have been a supporter. This story touched me so deeply, Ryland is such a precious, beautiful boy. I love how much his family has supported him on being who he was meant to be and that the Mom especially has made it her life's mission to advocate for him and others like him. He knew he was meant to be a boy from a young age. I look forward to following his story. To me he is a hero!
October 30, 2016
Glad I heard about this book. Although she's obviously not an author, this mother wrote a book about her transgender daughter who is now her son. Her words are heartfelt and honest. An added bonus was that the story takes place in La Mesa where I live (and also at a church I know). I would recommend this book, so that you can see inside the life of a family who is learning how to raise a son well. It helps to listen to people's stories, so we can make decisions based on understanding rather than assumptions.
March 4, 2016
This is one of the most beautiful stories of #unconditionallove I've ever read. It's inspiring, heart breaking, and heart awakening all at once. This is a story of compassion, courage, hope, and love...unconditional love. And love dear friends, has the ability to change everything and everyone. "Three things will last forever--faith, hope, and love--and the greatest of these is love."-1 Corinthians 13:13
February 6, 2021
I’m torn on this one. Of course I am amazed by the bravery of sweet little Ryland and am on board with the beautiful way his parents support him, but I couldn’t help feeling really uncomfortable by how vulnerable this book makes him. I always feel a little uneasy when parents write books/blogs/YouTube channels about their kids (and with a ton of detail) before the kids themselves are old enough to understand the consequences of having their private life made so public.
March 24, 2016
Hillary Whittington shares her family story of how her family learned and grew raising their transgender daughter to son. Ryland is very fortunate to have these parents who because of their love and sensing his unhappiness chose to keep searching to find answers that would enable Ryland to live a happy life. (When you know better you do better.)
January 4, 2016
Thought provoking and full of love. I was interested in both the story of ryland's deafness and gender identity. I appreciated the authors candor and also this was a short read, I read in one day.
February 25, 2016
Incredibly courageous and truly inspiring. So proud of this strong mother for sharing her family's story and bringing awareness of what it's like to raise a transgender child.
March 1, 2016
Incredible and heart felt book. Told with a true compassion for equality. I truly enjoyed the book and have already recommended it to friends.
May 31, 2016
A well-written, thoughtful memoir of parenting a deaf, transgender child.
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January 8, 2023In this autobiography Hillary Whittington tells the story of her family's journey from its inception through their viral video telling their first child's struggle to be recognized as a boy, even at a very young age. What is particularly powerful about this story is that the Whittington's seem to initially be rooted in conservative faith and gender roles, but their love for their child pushed them to do the research, find the support, and form the words to support not only him, but to help him be an advocate and example for others. Mrs. Whittington reads the audiobook herself, and while it probably would be a more dynamic experience with a professional voice actor, there is something authentic about having a mom tell you her experience herself. This is a good place for folks to start who want to better understand transgender youth and the families who love them.
March 9, 2022
For those who question is validity of transgender people, I highly recommend this book. Ryland knew from the moment he could communicate to his family that he was a boy in a girl's body. It took his parents, especially his father, a while to come around. But, when they understood, they became his greatest advocates. This family has shown us what it truly means to accept your child and to love them without questions. Ryland is a very lucky little boy. I know there are a lot of transgender children out there who do not have the same family support this boy has.
December 14, 2019
Loved this book. I’m always amazed by what these young children are able to teach us. I appreciate families sharing their stories to educate us so that we can have more understanding, compassion and acceptance for all humans not matter how different they are from ourselves.
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